Drunkard's Walk Forums

Full Version: Are cats kosher?
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
I overheard a radio program talking about how Tel Aviv is overrun with roof-rabbit, but then wondered if they're actually kosher, They obviously don't have split hooves, but even I know there's more to it than that and having a Rabbi nearby.

Yes, I know it's a rather odd thought to have, Yes, I do actually like cats. No, I'm not trying to imply anything about Jews or middle-easterners or whatever, it just randomly connected with Excel Saga's "emergency provisions" and a character in a story being caught spying because they transformed into a cat when there was a famine on, and the one who caught him knew roof-rabbit (which is where I got the term) was one of the first things to get hunted out after the store shelves are empty.

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
For a land animal to be considered kosher, the first step is seeing if it has cloven hooves, and that it chews it's cud. If it lacks either of these, then it can't be kosher, and you don't proceed to the next step, which is ensuring it is slaughtered in the correct way.

That said, one of the more fundamental laws is that very nearly any of the Jewish laws may be broken while acting to save a life, so if there is a starvation situation, and only non-kosher food is available, then it would be considered acceptable to eat animals like cats.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
Most Jewish scholars hold that their is no restriction on oral sex (save spilling seed) so fire when ready Gridley.
So, a single hoof is bad? I thought it was the other way around. It has to be, pigs have split hooves... but beef is kosher and cows chew their cud...

Confusing answer leaves me confused.

@RevDark: Go wash your mind out with soap, young man. You know what i meant.

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Kurisu

Give it a try! Cat is delicious! Had it when I was overseas, and despite it being stringy, the meat is quite flavorful.

...of coarse, I was tricked into eating it, but I liked it and asked for seconds.
_____
DEATH is Certain. The hour, Uncertain...
ClassicDrogn Wrote:So, a single hoof is bad? I thought it was the other way around. It has to be, pigs have split hooves... but beef is kosher and cows chew their cud...

Confusing answer leaves me confused.

@RevDark: Go wash your mind out with soap, young man. You know what i meant.

- CD
If you parse it with logic terms, it is AND, not OR.  Pigs don't chew their cud, so they aren't kosher, even though they do have cloven hooves.  Rabbits, for another example, do chew their cud, but do not have cloven hooves, so are also not kosher.  Cows, however, possess both qualities, as they chew their cud, and have cloven hooves, so are counted as kosher.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.

CattyNebulart

I am not up to the fine details of Jewish law, but if you gave cats cloven hooves (genetic engineering, invasive surgery, mad scientist, whatever) and trained them to chew cud would they be kosher?
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
... No, because then they wouldnt be cats. they'd be tiny cows
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-

NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
I vaguely remember an SF story along these lines twenty or so years ago, where someone genetically-engineered pigs that chew their cud and wanted to market the meat to the Jewish market as "kosher pork". Can't remember much more than that, though.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
ClassicDrogn Wrote:@RevDark: Go wash your mind out with soap, young man. You know what i meant.
I am reminded of one of those "priest and rabbi" jokes with the punchline "It's better than pork, right?"
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Quote:@RevDark: Go wash your mind out with soap, young man. You know what i meant.

Yes, yes I did; which is why I noted it.  Getting around religious and dietary restrictions is quite the art; and has been practiced pretty much since the moment Oog got hit by lightening - proclaiming the existance of 'He that rumbles, spits lightening and fucking hates Oog.'
From monks and their barnacle geese and even less savory ways to get around the meat ban to every variation on slipping Leviticus; the game has always been fool-the-omnipotent-dungeon-master-who-knows-and-sees-all because, every single dungeon master in the history of the game has always looked with kind, reverent awe at rules lawyers.
http://www.lolcats.com/view/9265/
Do you want fries with that?
Rev, you make me lul so hard sometimes.  ^_^  We have got to hang out someday.

And yeah, I myself have had my own gripes about these things, being raised Mormon and all. But it's my humble opinion that dietary concerns, while requiring careful weighing and measuring, should be taken with at least a grain of salt where religion gets involved. For example, I'm sure you've heard all about Mormons and their restrictions: no recreational drugs, no tobacco, no booze, no tea, and no caffeine.

Now, the 'recreational drugs' and tobacco... that's pretty damn easy to understand. Stuff's bad for you. And even if a drug doesn't get you chemically addicted, it can still happen psychologically... and that's arguably an even tougher nut to crack. Booze... somewhat less so. A drink or two isn't going to kill you - I know from experience. Where people start getting into trouble is where they get addicted to alcohol, and that's an addiction that's just as tough to crack as any other. (Poor Whitney Houston never had a chance going to that party without a trusted friend.)

No caffeine... okay. I can kinda understand this one. It's not great for your heart and it has the potential be addictive as well. But there are times when you just can't do without it. Seriously, when you are in the Navy you practically mainline caffeine sometimes (the Chiefs over in the Chiefs' Mess get VERY picky about their coffee maker).

My bigger nits are in regards to tea. My mother, for example, will only drink tea for medicinal purposes such as sore throat or upset stomach. Me? I love tea, especially Japanese blends which tend to be very healthy. Green tea, oolong, and barley are among my favorites. And have you ever had green tea icecream? Try it, it's delicious. Other favorites: Mint, Spearmint, Peppermint (yeah, I'm big on mint - shoulda seen the one we had at my Great Grandfather's house - grandpappy of all mint plants), Earle Grey and English Breakfast.
Sometimes you just have the perfect quote...
A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..." -- Emo Phillips
Kurisu Wrote:Give it a try! Cat is delicious! Had it when I was overseas, and despite it being stringy, the meat is quite flavorful.

...of coarse, I was tricked into eating it, but I liked it and asked for seconds.
Can't do it....try eating a meat bun with cat in it and I get visions of eating Fluffy...it's like eating a member of the family!
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell
Quote:Can't do it....try eating a meat bun with cat in it and I get visions of
eating Fluffy...it's like eating a member of the family!
Technically anytime you eat meat you are eating a member of someone's family.
Yup, and I make little frantic moos in my mind as that cow sees me coming to bite a chunk out of it, and mooing sounds of mourning when I'm done. I hate cows, Big, stinky, dirty animals; the thought of some guy walking up ton one in a slaughterhouse and knocking it out with a hammer to the face is something to keep warm on a cold night. The fact that a single McCheese has mixed up meat from a thousand or so in it, just makes it taste better.

And now you know my reply when veggievangelists walk up to me in a restaurant and try to tell me about suffering beef and how eating a burger is murder. It's happened a few times, but never twice with the same veggie.

- CD, moo, mooo, MOOO! You bit off my leg, oh god the pain, MOO! MOOO! No, not my other leg, MOOOOO! MOO, MOO Mooooo...
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
From Lawrence Block's Here Comes a Hero (1968), when main character Evan Tanner is hanging out with some Jewish terrorist friends (the Stern Gang), one of them tells him this:
"The flesh of the zebra is virtually unknown outside of Israel. It is said that zebra tastes remarkably like the flesh of the prohibited swine.... The raising of zebras is a native Israeli industry. Yet perhaps because the breeders wish to protect their secrets, one rarely actually sees these fine black-and-white striped animals anywhere in the nation. However on a drive though the countryside one might hear their characteristic cry from within one of their pens.... Oink."
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.