Is it because you care for a person that you invest a lot of labor in a relationship?
Or Is it because you love the labor invested in a relationship that you care for a person?
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Into terror!, Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell
I realize this is going to sound like a cop out:
It depends entirely on the person.
But, I think the former is more likely, in general, than the latter.
For me, personally, Its because I care for the person.
It most probably starts as solely the former; but thanks to the wonder of Post-Decisional Dissonance, the latter can also play a role. You are unlikely to invest time and emotional energy into a relationship if you do not care for a person. However, once you have done so, you may value the relationship more than you would have predicted beforehand.
As Mark said, though, the nature of human relationships and their perceptions thereof is a very subjective and situational thing. I can quote Psychology Academics all day, but that's only one part of the equation. We're a long way from understanding and quantifying it.
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The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."
>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI
Depends on the quality of the relationship, and how far along it is.
At first, you're investing effort in getting to know them. You wouldn't do that if you didn't enjoy getting to know people, so there's the second one.
Once you know somebody worth caring about, they become the goal, and the effort is merely a means to an end. There's the first. Odds are, the effort involved in keeping and enjoying a close relationship with somebody is, for the most part, pleasant to you, so again, the second one.
If it's a dysfunctional relationship, you may very well be keeping it going, not for the sake of staying with the person in question, but for the sake of being with somebody at all. Second again.
Or you might just hold it together because heck, you've been together for so long, why not?
tl;dr: Yes.
My
Unitarian Jihad Name is:
Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate.
Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
I would say its actually equal parts of both.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by
Echo's Children