03-04-2016, 07:36 AM
It's like pet shaming, only for dice that failed their owners in role-playing games. A friend sent me a series of pictures, mostly twenty-siders. I won't show the pictures themselves -- dice with the number "1" uppermost get kind of monotonous, not to mention bringing back painful memories. What was written on the slips of paper, though....
I made sure my owner never rolled more than a 1 for damage.
I brought my owner 200 ft up a sheer cliffside then decided to let her fall right before reaching the top.
I left my owner on fire for five turns and proceeded to fail a save against petrification.
I refused to help my owner when he was captured by drow.
I like to roll high on useless rolls and low on important ones. (DHBirr comment: Don't they ALL?!)
I made my owner be the only one in the party to fail her stealth roll --- and she's the NINJA.
I made my owner & his friend miss eight arrows each on someone with four HP, while he killed their friend.
I made my owner do nothing but chop herself in the leg.
(A "3") My owner didn't make her character scared of ghosts... I did. I never rolled higher than 10 when it came to fighting ethereal beings...
(Percentile dice with a score of "92") We can't Spot Hidden. Like, ever.
(A partly melted six-sided die, or perhaps two of them) I've rolled snake eyes for the LAST time!
(A "20") I killed our only Healer. My owner has not played since.
Edit: Added one clarifying note.
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Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
I made sure my owner never rolled more than a 1 for damage.
I brought my owner 200 ft up a sheer cliffside then decided to let her fall right before reaching the top.
I left my owner on fire for five turns and proceeded to fail a save against petrification.
I refused to help my owner when he was captured by drow.
I like to roll high on useless rolls and low on important ones. (DHBirr comment: Don't they ALL?!)
I made my owner be the only one in the party to fail her stealth roll --- and she's the NINJA.
I made my owner & his friend miss eight arrows each on someone with four HP, while he killed their friend.
I made my owner do nothing but chop herself in the leg.
(A "3") My owner didn't make her character scared of ghosts... I did. I never rolled higher than 10 when it came to fighting ethereal beings...
(Percentile dice with a score of "92") We can't Spot Hidden. Like, ever.
(A partly melted six-sided die, or perhaps two of them) I've rolled snake eyes for the LAST time!
(A "20") I killed our only Healer. My owner has not played since.
Edit: Added one clarifying note.
-----
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.