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Full Version: Twin Peaks: The Return
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Dear 2017: Why can't we have nice things?
I saw the first double-episode of the Twin Peaks reboot, last night, but it was 2 hours long, so that's closer to a triple-episode compare to network TV length.  And despite every glowing review of it I read, I came away unimpressed.  Sure, David Lynch remains the master of the visceral, of timing long scenes for maximum intensity, and of capturing life's absurdity.  He can raise the spectres of the monsters at the edges of the mind, quite literally.  So what's the problem?
I don't care what happens to these people.
In fact, I'm not even sure which people I'm supposed to care about.  The majority of scenes take place outside of Twin Peaks, and that's if you count the Black Lodge as a part of the town.  So, which cast herd am I supposed to get behind?  Some of the characters with the most exposition time end up dead by the end of the episode.  Black Lodge scenes provide plenty of mystery and visual drama, but remain as obtuse towards characterization as ever.  The denizens of the lodges are supposed to be eldritch and inhuman, after all.
Most of the things I liked about Twin Peaks seem to be gone.  The balancing of soap opera tropes with horror tropes in a cozy mystery package was something special. It was always melodrama, but it was melodrama done well.  The town was alive with people who dealt with day-to-day problems, made mistakes, loved and lost.  People who wrestled with the supernatural, despite not understanding it.  The new version seems to have a lot of people being killed by monsters.  It's really good horror, well designed, and perfectly timed for suspense.  But I was never here for the horror in the first place.
I'm just afraid I'm turning into one of those jerks who decided OMG I hate RWBY nao because it's not a school comedy any more.  But at the same time, it's like that old Pace salsa commercial series:  Twin Peaks is made in New York City now.  New York City?!
-- ∇×V