05-16-2018, 03:37 PM
05-16-2018, 04:50 PM
Hurray! Trumpets sound, peasants cheer!
05-17-2018, 02:05 AM
05-17-2018, 09:54 PM
And oh boy, did Usagi just do something I most certainly did not plan on.
ETA: To clarify, it was one of those "the characters do what they want, I'm just writing it down as it happens" moments. I knew she wasn't going to be happy, but the vehemence of her reaction surprised the hell out of me. And if it survives past first draft it'll surprise the hell out of everyone else, too...
ETA: To clarify, it was one of those "the characters do what they want, I'm just writing it down as it happens" moments. I knew she wasn't going to be happy, but the vehemence of her reaction surprised the hell out of me. And if it survives past first draft it'll surprise the hell out of everyone else, too...
05-17-2018, 11:36 PM
Did the story just run into 'Usagi is a nice, kind and gentle young woman and if you think that makes her weak or soft you are an idiot?'
Because Usagi, believe it or not, may not have a lot of the physical trappings of a Yamato Nadeshiko, she's definitely got the silk hiding steel part of the mindset down pat.
Because Usagi, believe it or not, may not have a lot of the physical trappings of a Yamato Nadeshiko, she's definitely got the silk hiding steel part of the mindset down pat.
05-18-2018, 07:04 AM
Actually, in a way, yeah -- but if I give more details it'd be a spoiler.
If it ends up on the cutting room floor I'll share it. For now, I'm going to see if I can polish it enough that a reader won't have an automatic "OOC!" reaction to the moment.
If it ends up on the cutting room floor I'll share it. For now, I'm going to see if I can polish it enough that a reader won't have an automatic "OOC!" reaction to the moment.
05-18-2018, 01:53 PM
Usagi discovers her ghost mom liked pineapple on pizza, abandons all friends and Tokyo to their fate, become Herald of Metallia .
05-18-2018, 10:40 PM
Oh, Doug, you really shouldn't have tried to steal Mamo-chan from Usagi.
I'd be careful because a vehement response of moral outrage is a part of both of our characters. You know, in real life. I know I have to be careful about not putting too much of myself into characters. Usagi is more nuanced, more looking for forgiveness. While she says "yurusenai" in every single name of the Moon speech, she doesn't really mean it personally, just that the action is unforgivable. But if you have moral clarity, and all the facts are in, yeah, Usagi can go all aboard the righteous indignation train.
Now, if you want strong reactions, may I suggest Rei?
I'd be careful because a vehement response of moral outrage is a part of both of our characters. You know, in real life. I know I have to be careful about not putting too much of myself into characters. Usagi is more nuanced, more looking for forgiveness. While she says "yurusenai" in every single name of the Moon speech, she doesn't really mean it personally, just that the action is unforgivable. But if you have moral clarity, and all the facts are in, yeah, Usagi can go all aboard the righteous indignation train.
Now, if you want strong reactions, may I suggest Rei?
05-19-2018, 11:59 AM
(05-18-2018, 10:40 PM)Labster Wrote: [ -> ]Oh, Doug, you really shouldn't have tried to steal Mamo-chan from Usagi.
...
But Doug reminds Mamoru of his sempai...
...
<innocent look> What? </innocent look>
05-19-2018, 01:10 PM
It's a bit more than a chapter too early for Rei, and it wouldn't make sense in this context anyway.
And just as an update, I'm almost done with the chapter. I just have to finish the very last, brief, scene, and I can give the new material to the prereaders, who will then tell me whether or not Usagi's reaction is too much.
And just as an update, I'm almost done with the chapter. I just have to finish the very last, brief, scene, and I can give the new material to the prereaders, who will then tell me whether or not Usagi's reaction is too much.
05-22-2018, 11:47 AM
And the chapter is done. I'm polishing the new material, which I'll send to the prereaders tonight. While they go over it, I'll polish the whole chapter (incorporating any comments they make on the new stuff), and then I'll give them the entire chapter for a final review. I may indeed get this out by the end of the month!