08-30-2008, 05:12 PM
"Why am I here?" Kemwer asked irritably. One usher had been trying to grab for Kemwer's videocamera, The guy cracked his head on a wall he could
have sworn was ten feet away and fell unconscious.
"Come on , you just have to see this. "Dr. Clark Sanders told him The name FP had given from the other side was Lucinda Tempscire. Apparently,
enough money can get you anywhere, and due to a Star Trek replicator Kemwer had handwaved could produce gold bars provided one didn't ask to provide too
much of it.
"Channelers? You have to got to be kidding me. There is no way that handwavium calls up spirits from past times. Hell, there's no way one can call up
spirits of the dead in the first place unless you count Stellvia's rumored dimensional incursion. They do not come and possess people to give them the
"Wisdom of the Ages. " Kemwer put little finger quotes around the last part of the sentence as he displayed the fourth ring on his hand.
"I don't mind channelers fleecing them out of their own desire to believe and stupidity.Why am I here, paying seven hundred fifty to see a false
channeler?" Kemwer's words were carried very quietly to his two companions.
"She's using your name. " FP returned to me quietly. The rings on his fingers allow me to hold private conversations in the middle of a room as
long as one directs the wind carefully. The Rings of the Elves appear to be slightly empathic in nature which was why Kemwer used them more often than other
items.
"Kemwer?" Kemwer had signed his name as Robert Rumboldt in the guest books. Fake psychics and mediums usually tossed out skeptics as negative
vibrations in the astral plane disturbing the sympathetic harmonies or some other gobbledygook. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. Handwavium
was extraordinary when you see floating islands.
Unfortunately, this had given a boost to the con artist, faith healer, medium and spiritualist market. The very fact that it's handwaved means that it
hadn't worked like that before. This is why Dr. Sanders is so obsessed about proving science above handwavium. Science has replicable results. His latest
design is a positronic brain patented by Isaac Asimov in the Sixties formed by crystal growing that looked remarkably similar to biological cell division.
That's why Kemwer was wondering why Dr. Sanders had dragged him to the channeler. Dr. Sanders had not signed his name as usual, instead he was using the
alias James Campion.
Kemwer looked at the hardwood floor. The ushers were offering pillows at ten bucks each. Eighty rows of ten people equalled eight thousand dollars. The
videocamera was covered in an illusion. Psychics and such don't allow videocameras. It made it too easy to spot the wires and earpieces.
A Brad Pitt clone(clone as in looks like him, not clone in the sense that the Professor kidnapped him and made a twin) stepped onto the stage. He gave the
ground rules, no flash photography(they had confiscated all the cameras before anyway, except Kemwer's ), no applause, and no bathroom breaks. The clone
explained that it disturbed Aria's concentration and even the closing of a door could break her sympathetic link.
Or someone distracted by the bladders were less distracted by gobbledegook such as was being spouted by the emcee lookalike.
"Eight thousand years ago, Kemwur was a High Priest of Atlantis. He lived for three hundred years before ascending and acquiring the wisdom of the ages.
"
What wisdom? The Stone Ages? Eight thousand years ago humans were living in trees. (By the by, the Bible's age of the world is six thousand years.
Don't trust books that say that is the only one you'll ever need to read. There's two thousand, eight hundred and six of them that all say that. )
"He spoke with the oracle of Delphi, he delved in to the Sacred Writings of the Rosicrucians. Now watch as Aria calls him forth from the Cosmic All.
"
Dr. Sanders looked at Kemwer. FP looked at Kemwer. He looked in mirror made of ice as it was coalesced in his hand through the power of the Ring of Water. He
now knew the term, face like thunder.
"She's using my name- " Kemwer growled as the voice carried to his partners.
"Technically, she's spelling it with a U. "
"Wars have been started over such impersonations. "
The lighting deepened to rose and the chiffon banners started swaying in the breeze provided by fans in the back. Kemwer had looked through the walls.
Changing the refractive index was instinctive when one wore the Ring of Fire.
Aria in a caftan and sacred amulet descended from a curving stairway. There was mood music to accompany her descent.
There's a tradition in fantasy novels about how a Dark Lord can pour physical sensations into thoughts and thus one feels the baleful influence of watching
eyes. Kemwer could have been one of those as frost formed on the walls.
"Welcome, Seekers After Divine Truth. We are going to have a wonderful spiritual experience together here today and achieve a new plane of enlightenment.
"
There was applause as people ignored the no-applause edict.
"But you mustn't applaud me. I am only the channel through which Kemwur manifests. Kemwur first came to me five years ago and it frightened me. I
didn't want to believe. It took me a year to realize that I had become a focus for cosmic energies. Today, it will be the wisdom of Kemwur you hear, not
that of mine. If... "nice theatrical pause. Good for every performance. " ...he deigns to come. He is a sage, not a servant to be bidden. "
"What a bunch of claptrap. " Kemwer told FP and Sanders. She was making him -annoyed-.
People wouldn't pay seven hundred and fifty for a no-show.
"Kemwur will only come if the earthly plane is aligned. If there are any of you who harbor negative vibrations, contact will be denied. "
If she looked at Kemwer at that moment, she'd be very surprised at how many thoughts he was harboring ranging from exposing her as a fraud to immuring her
in ice and seeing how she handled being a frozen corpse. She passed over Kemwer's notice as the Rings of Air and Water handled the cloaking aspect.
"Do you believe?Are you thinking positive thoughts, positive emotions?"
Kemwer's current thought was about immolating her in magma. One just had to get fire hot enough to melt stone.
"I sense that every one of you is thinking positive thoughts. Now to bring Kemwur among us, you must help me. You must calm your center You must
concentrate on your inner soul-self. "
Kemwer's light folded around to give him 360-degree vision. This usually gave him a slight migraine. He did this with nary a twinge. Over half the
clientele had their eyes shut, and some folded their hands together in imitation of prayer.
And then Kemwer was hit with an unexpected sensation. It was the sense of belief trying to reconfigure him as to what he wanted. The belief rolled off him like
a duck. Kemwer smiled.
He realized what was going on. It was an indirect attack by somebody who thought Kemwer had used the handwaved avatar method of becoming a god. He had in one
sense only one believer, that of Marduk. Eighty believers ran up against in another sense, millions, as the stuff in his body and blood overwhelmed the
reconfiguration attempt.
"So that's what happening. " Kemwer thought. Marduk had told him there was only one who was using his name. If he did anything with extraordinary
powers, he supported the claim of phony psychics everywhere. If he didn't, eventually there'd be enough to leave him mortal, rather than a god.
"I see why you two wanted me to come. " Kemwer told FP znd Sanders. He thought a bit. He needed to do something about this.
"What's got you so happy, Kemwer?"
"Shh.. Watch the show. " Aria came in with the same mood lightning. Kemwer felt remarkably lighthearted about producing two more gold bars. He earned
money the the old-fashioned way, by working, for his secret identity. He drew a sword out of it's scabbard in the middle of the channeler's speech.
"Welcome O-Seekers of Divine Truth-I'm a fraud, a fake, a charlatan. " Her face expressed horror when she heard the words come out of her mouth.
" I've never channeled a spirit in my life. Kemwur was something Ted made up. I was running a pyramid scheme in Chicago, Illinois at the time. The
feds were closing in on me, and I'd already be up on charges of insurance fraud, so I changed my name-My real name's Gail Archten. I stashed the money
there and sequestered for a year working on the voice of Kemwur. -"
There was an enormous crash from the back. The videocamera operator had dropped the videocamera. The emcee had come back on as Aria had been frozen in horror
at the words coming out of her mouth.
"Which one's Ted?" Kemwer asked from the audience.
"The one in the blue shirt at the back. " Kemwer spotted him instantly. It was the one trying to sneak away.
"Then I contacted a guy I knew, his name was Chuck Elliott, you probably know him as Charles Akeling. We worked together on a couple of chain-letter
scams, so I told him to take me to Salem and break into the channeling business. "
Dr. Sanders had somehow managed to get into the security guard's way and knock them out while Kemwer kept the videocamera in full view.
"Chuck always did have a bad habit of writing everything down. You can't blackmail me, Gail., he said. Wanna bet? I asked him. I told him it was in
the safe deposit box in Dayton, Ohio, ready to be released if anything happened to me. It's not. It's behind the portrait of Atlantis in my bedroom.
The combinations's seven right, six left, eight right. He taught me all about how one softens the marks in the seminar, so they'll tell you all about
their love life in the private sessions. Then you send them copies of the videotapes-"There were audible gasps.
-":and then he introduced me to one of the orderlies at the Neogenesis Rehab Center, and deep masseuse at New Lilac Spa, so I could convince the marks
that Kemwur knows all and sees all. I learned how to change my voice so as to pretend I was channeling spirits, although I didn't think learning all that
junk from Edgar Cayce and Madame Blavatsky was necessary. You guys pay me money as long as I pretend to care about your romances and gallstones-"Aria
seemed to recollect herself as the audible rumble became a growl .
She tried to run off the stage, but Dr. Sanders maneuvered the security guard into her so that she managed to steady herself from the back while the security
guard cracked his head on the floor. He'd have a nasty concussion. Dr. Sanders' specialty is in medicine, you know.
"Are you saying you're the one doing the voice of Kemwur?" Kemwer asked.
"Of course. There's no such thing as channeling the spirits from the great beyond. "She looked around, panicky for an escape route.
"Are you saying Greta Sedona is a fake too?" Kemwer asked.
"Oh, yes. They're all fakes. Greta Sedona, Dominic Chakravanti, Randall Ceti. "
"Do they all use blackmail like you?" Any minute now she'd remember to cover her mouth with her hands, the way she was staring like a frightened
rabbit .
"No. Swami Brahma uses extortion, and Cephera uses posthypnotic suggestion. "
"What about Charles Akeling? What's his scam?"
"Investment fraud. "She cupped her heads as the clip-on microphone cut off.
"Charles tells his clients their dead relations want them to invest in certain stocks-"At the point, Aria had the brainstorm to cover her mouth which
gave her answers in a resulting mumble. The emcee finally succeeded in stepping in front of Aria.
"Thank you for coming. Videos-""He had second thoughts. " That is, personally autographed books are on sale in the front counter.
"Two security guards gripped Aria's hands and feet and carried her bodily off the stage.
Kemwer had located Ted's body heat and saw him through the building. Freedom Princess obligingly pulled Dr. Sanders and Kemwer through the wall while
Kemwer shielded them from sight and mind.
"Hi Ted,. "Kemwer smiled.
"I-I have connections. You'll regret it. " He tried. The sword had been resheathed. Kemwer drew it again.
"Who gave you the idea of Kemwur?" Kemwer asked him.
"A guy who sprung up for an operation to replace my missing leg. He said all I had to do was this to pay him back. He said I'd make it back in spades
in this operation, but I could quit anytime. "
"How did you contact him?"
"There's a code and a number. " He gave Kemwer the code, the number, and who recommended him.
"What did he call himself?"
"He called himself Mazzare. Can I go now?" He whined plaintively. Kemwer sniffed the air. Kemwer had acute human senses, but one didn't need that
to smell the air had definitely become unpleasant. Dr. Sanders put him to sleep. I resheathed my sword.
Mazzare's one of the supersoldiers that Dr. Grey has personally serving him. It's the Italian word for seer and he's pretty good at putting
together coherent pictures of information. Kemwer was wearing the Band of Blacknil The obvious thing was either to kill Ted thereby removing information or to
dump him in a black hole.
It took a few minutes for Kemwer to shove Ted into an empty parallel from the elevator. He'd have to come back later to petrify him with the Wand of Jadis.
"Let's see him try to get information about vanishing. " Kemwer smiled happily.
It had looked like Dr. Sanders would have had to testify on the preliminary hearings, which would have proven awkward since Kemwer was the one holding the
videocamera. She got into a fight with her lawyers over the insanity defense, since she claimed dark powers had been at work.
On the other hand, her fringerprints matched her Illinois driver's license, and every lead she had mentioned checked out, and one could leave it to the
police to roll up the false psychics she had mentioned. Charles Akeling was up on insider trading charges and half the psychics in the city were running for
the hills.
New mediums and psychics then moved in advertising themselves as restorers of balance and the spirits one can trust. This only proves P. T Barnum's old
adage, there's a sucker born every minute and two to take them.
It was a good two weeks.
The police rolled up the psychic network depriving Grey of an important resource that he could have used to turn him mortal, Kemwer had snapped up one of his
unwitting agents to interrogate, and most importantly, Mazzare had no information from his pawn as to what had happened. He placed the Sword of Veracity from
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys back in it's case.
have sworn was ten feet away and fell unconscious.
"Come on , you just have to see this. "Dr. Clark Sanders told him The name FP had given from the other side was Lucinda Tempscire. Apparently,
enough money can get you anywhere, and due to a Star Trek replicator Kemwer had handwaved could produce gold bars provided one didn't ask to provide too
much of it.
"Channelers? You have to got to be kidding me. There is no way that handwavium calls up spirits from past times. Hell, there's no way one can call up
spirits of the dead in the first place unless you count Stellvia's rumored dimensional incursion. They do not come and possess people to give them the
"Wisdom of the Ages. " Kemwer put little finger quotes around the last part of the sentence as he displayed the fourth ring on his hand.
"I don't mind channelers fleecing them out of their own desire to believe and stupidity.Why am I here, paying seven hundred fifty to see a false
channeler?" Kemwer's words were carried very quietly to his two companions.
"She's using your name. " FP returned to me quietly. The rings on his fingers allow me to hold private conversations in the middle of a room as
long as one directs the wind carefully. The Rings of the Elves appear to be slightly empathic in nature which was why Kemwer used them more often than other
items.
"Kemwer?" Kemwer had signed his name as Robert Rumboldt in the guest books. Fake psychics and mediums usually tossed out skeptics as negative
vibrations in the astral plane disturbing the sympathetic harmonies or some other gobbledygook. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. Handwavium
was extraordinary when you see floating islands.
Unfortunately, this had given a boost to the con artist, faith healer, medium and spiritualist market. The very fact that it's handwaved means that it
hadn't worked like that before. This is why Dr. Sanders is so obsessed about proving science above handwavium. Science has replicable results. His latest
design is a positronic brain patented by Isaac Asimov in the Sixties formed by crystal growing that looked remarkably similar to biological cell division.
That's why Kemwer was wondering why Dr. Sanders had dragged him to the channeler. Dr. Sanders had not signed his name as usual, instead he was using the
alias James Campion.
Kemwer looked at the hardwood floor. The ushers were offering pillows at ten bucks each. Eighty rows of ten people equalled eight thousand dollars. The
videocamera was covered in an illusion. Psychics and such don't allow videocameras. It made it too easy to spot the wires and earpieces.
A Brad Pitt clone(clone as in looks like him, not clone in the sense that the Professor kidnapped him and made a twin) stepped onto the stage. He gave the
ground rules, no flash photography(they had confiscated all the cameras before anyway, except Kemwer's ), no applause, and no bathroom breaks. The clone
explained that it disturbed Aria's concentration and even the closing of a door could break her sympathetic link.
Or someone distracted by the bladders were less distracted by gobbledegook such as was being spouted by the emcee lookalike.
"Eight thousand years ago, Kemwur was a High Priest of Atlantis. He lived for three hundred years before ascending and acquiring the wisdom of the ages.
"
What wisdom? The Stone Ages? Eight thousand years ago humans were living in trees. (By the by, the Bible's age of the world is six thousand years.
Don't trust books that say that is the only one you'll ever need to read. There's two thousand, eight hundred and six of them that all say that. )
"He spoke with the oracle of Delphi, he delved in to the Sacred Writings of the Rosicrucians. Now watch as Aria calls him forth from the Cosmic All.
"
Dr. Sanders looked at Kemwer. FP looked at Kemwer. He looked in mirror made of ice as it was coalesced in his hand through the power of the Ring of Water. He
now knew the term, face like thunder.
"She's using my name- " Kemwer growled as the voice carried to his partners.
"Technically, she's spelling it with a U. "
"Wars have been started over such impersonations. "
The lighting deepened to rose and the chiffon banners started swaying in the breeze provided by fans in the back. Kemwer had looked through the walls.
Changing the refractive index was instinctive when one wore the Ring of Fire.
Aria in a caftan and sacred amulet descended from a curving stairway. There was mood music to accompany her descent.
There's a tradition in fantasy novels about how a Dark Lord can pour physical sensations into thoughts and thus one feels the baleful influence of watching
eyes. Kemwer could have been one of those as frost formed on the walls.
"Welcome, Seekers After Divine Truth. We are going to have a wonderful spiritual experience together here today and achieve a new plane of enlightenment.
"
There was applause as people ignored the no-applause edict.
"But you mustn't applaud me. I am only the channel through which Kemwur manifests. Kemwur first came to me five years ago and it frightened me. I
didn't want to believe. It took me a year to realize that I had become a focus for cosmic energies. Today, it will be the wisdom of Kemwur you hear, not
that of mine. If... "nice theatrical pause. Good for every performance. " ...he deigns to come. He is a sage, not a servant to be bidden. "
"What a bunch of claptrap. " Kemwer told FP and Sanders. She was making him -annoyed-.
People wouldn't pay seven hundred and fifty for a no-show.
"Kemwur will only come if the earthly plane is aligned. If there are any of you who harbor negative vibrations, contact will be denied. "
If she looked at Kemwer at that moment, she'd be very surprised at how many thoughts he was harboring ranging from exposing her as a fraud to immuring her
in ice and seeing how she handled being a frozen corpse. She passed over Kemwer's notice as the Rings of Air and Water handled the cloaking aspect.
"Do you believe?Are you thinking positive thoughts, positive emotions?"
Kemwer's current thought was about immolating her in magma. One just had to get fire hot enough to melt stone.
"I sense that every one of you is thinking positive thoughts. Now to bring Kemwur among us, you must help me. You must calm your center You must
concentrate on your inner soul-self. "
Kemwer's light folded around to give him 360-degree vision. This usually gave him a slight migraine. He did this with nary a twinge. Over half the
clientele had their eyes shut, and some folded their hands together in imitation of prayer.
And then Kemwer was hit with an unexpected sensation. It was the sense of belief trying to reconfigure him as to what he wanted. The belief rolled off him like
a duck. Kemwer smiled.
He realized what was going on. It was an indirect attack by somebody who thought Kemwer had used the handwaved avatar method of becoming a god. He had in one
sense only one believer, that of Marduk. Eighty believers ran up against in another sense, millions, as the stuff in his body and blood overwhelmed the
reconfiguration attempt.
"So that's what happening. " Kemwer thought. Marduk had told him there was only one who was using his name. If he did anything with extraordinary
powers, he supported the claim of phony psychics everywhere. If he didn't, eventually there'd be enough to leave him mortal, rather than a god.
"I see why you two wanted me to come. " Kemwer told FP znd Sanders. He thought a bit. He needed to do something about this.
"What's got you so happy, Kemwer?"
"Shh.. Watch the show. " Aria came in with the same mood lightning. Kemwer felt remarkably lighthearted about producing two more gold bars. He earned
money the the old-fashioned way, by working, for his secret identity. He drew a sword out of it's scabbard in the middle of the channeler's speech.
"Welcome O-Seekers of Divine Truth-I'm a fraud, a fake, a charlatan. " Her face expressed horror when she heard the words come out of her mouth.
" I've never channeled a spirit in my life. Kemwur was something Ted made up. I was running a pyramid scheme in Chicago, Illinois at the time. The
feds were closing in on me, and I'd already be up on charges of insurance fraud, so I changed my name-My real name's Gail Archten. I stashed the money
there and sequestered for a year working on the voice of Kemwur. -"
There was an enormous crash from the back. The videocamera operator had dropped the videocamera. The emcee had come back on as Aria had been frozen in horror
at the words coming out of her mouth.
"Which one's Ted?" Kemwer asked from the audience.
"The one in the blue shirt at the back. " Kemwer spotted him instantly. It was the one trying to sneak away.
"Then I contacted a guy I knew, his name was Chuck Elliott, you probably know him as Charles Akeling. We worked together on a couple of chain-letter
scams, so I told him to take me to Salem and break into the channeling business. "
Dr. Sanders had somehow managed to get into the security guard's way and knock them out while Kemwer kept the videocamera in full view.
"Chuck always did have a bad habit of writing everything down. You can't blackmail me, Gail., he said. Wanna bet? I asked him. I told him it was in
the safe deposit box in Dayton, Ohio, ready to be released if anything happened to me. It's not. It's behind the portrait of Atlantis in my bedroom.
The combinations's seven right, six left, eight right. He taught me all about how one softens the marks in the seminar, so they'll tell you all about
their love life in the private sessions. Then you send them copies of the videotapes-"There were audible gasps.
-":and then he introduced me to one of the orderlies at the Neogenesis Rehab Center, and deep masseuse at New Lilac Spa, so I could convince the marks
that Kemwur knows all and sees all. I learned how to change my voice so as to pretend I was channeling spirits, although I didn't think learning all that
junk from Edgar Cayce and Madame Blavatsky was necessary. You guys pay me money as long as I pretend to care about your romances and gallstones-"Aria
seemed to recollect herself as the audible rumble became a growl .
She tried to run off the stage, but Dr. Sanders maneuvered the security guard into her so that she managed to steady herself from the back while the security
guard cracked his head on the floor. He'd have a nasty concussion. Dr. Sanders' specialty is in medicine, you know.
"Are you saying you're the one doing the voice of Kemwur?" Kemwer asked.
"Of course. There's no such thing as channeling the spirits from the great beyond. "She looked around, panicky for an escape route.
"Are you saying Greta Sedona is a fake too?" Kemwer asked.
"Oh, yes. They're all fakes. Greta Sedona, Dominic Chakravanti, Randall Ceti. "
"Do they all use blackmail like you?" Any minute now she'd remember to cover her mouth with her hands, the way she was staring like a frightened
rabbit .
"No. Swami Brahma uses extortion, and Cephera uses posthypnotic suggestion. "
"What about Charles Akeling? What's his scam?"
"Investment fraud. "She cupped her heads as the clip-on microphone cut off.
"Charles tells his clients their dead relations want them to invest in certain stocks-"At the point, Aria had the brainstorm to cover her mouth which
gave her answers in a resulting mumble. The emcee finally succeeded in stepping in front of Aria.
"Thank you for coming. Videos-""He had second thoughts. " That is, personally autographed books are on sale in the front counter.
"Two security guards gripped Aria's hands and feet and carried her bodily off the stage.
Kemwer had located Ted's body heat and saw him through the building. Freedom Princess obligingly pulled Dr. Sanders and Kemwer through the wall while
Kemwer shielded them from sight and mind.
"Hi Ted,. "Kemwer smiled.
"I-I have connections. You'll regret it. " He tried. The sword had been resheathed. Kemwer drew it again.
"Who gave you the idea of Kemwur?" Kemwer asked him.
"A guy who sprung up for an operation to replace my missing leg. He said all I had to do was this to pay him back. He said I'd make it back in spades
in this operation, but I could quit anytime. "
"How did you contact him?"
"There's a code and a number. " He gave Kemwer the code, the number, and who recommended him.
"What did he call himself?"
"He called himself Mazzare. Can I go now?" He whined plaintively. Kemwer sniffed the air. Kemwer had acute human senses, but one didn't need that
to smell the air had definitely become unpleasant. Dr. Sanders put him to sleep. I resheathed my sword.
Mazzare's one of the supersoldiers that Dr. Grey has personally serving him. It's the Italian word for seer and he's pretty good at putting
together coherent pictures of information. Kemwer was wearing the Band of Blacknil The obvious thing was either to kill Ted thereby removing information or to
dump him in a black hole.
It took a few minutes for Kemwer to shove Ted into an empty parallel from the elevator. He'd have to come back later to petrify him with the Wand of Jadis.
"Let's see him try to get information about vanishing. " Kemwer smiled happily.
It had looked like Dr. Sanders would have had to testify on the preliminary hearings, which would have proven awkward since Kemwer was the one holding the
videocamera. She got into a fight with her lawyers over the insanity defense, since she claimed dark powers had been at work.
On the other hand, her fringerprints matched her Illinois driver's license, and every lead she had mentioned checked out, and one could leave it to the
police to roll up the false psychics she had mentioned. Charles Akeling was up on insider trading charges and half the psychics in the city were running for
the hills.
New mediums and psychics then moved in advertising themselves as restorers of balance and the spirits one can trust. This only proves P. T Barnum's old
adage, there's a sucker born every minute and two to take them.
It was a good two weeks.
The police rolled up the psychic network depriving Grey of an important resource that he could have used to turn him mortal, Kemwer had snapped up one of his
unwitting agents to interrogate, and most importantly, Mazzare had no information from his pawn as to what had happened. He placed the Sword of Veracity from
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys back in it's case.
)