Every so often, I think of something really silly. Here's a thread for such thoughts that relate to Fenspace. Feel free to add to it...
"Hey, is that a new car?"
"Sort of. We drove to Starbase 2 last week, and ran into a space rock on the way back. Literally. Three of the Korean cars ended up too wrecked to fly, and the other one had a lot of damage."
"You're lucky to even be alive, man."
"Yeah, we know. But we were pretty close to Hades Station, so the Professor and Indiana salvaged what they could and made one working car out of the parts we flew in on."
"Hades Station? So that's..."
"Yep. It's the Hyundai from Yoggoth."
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
*groan*
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make
anything explode.
umm.... should I be GLAD I dont get the punchline?
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by
Echo's Children
http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Fungi_from_Yuggoth]Probably.
(It doesn't help that I misspelled "Yuggoth"...)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
I was actually thinking that it was a riff on Zoner's Dodge Daytona from Hell.
http://www.nancybuttons.com/]Nancy Lebovitz (aka "The Button Lady" to East Coast SF fandom) has long had a button that reads "Fun Guy from Yuggoth"...
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Thanks, Bob! I'm gonna have to remember that website.
You're welcome!
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Taking a crack at this - I don't do too many of these. -B
Benjamin was in his office combating his most hated nemesis: paperwork, when a familiar wurf got his attention.
"He~llo Ollie!" said Ben as he look down where he would have expected to see the family dog. Only he wasn't there. Ben looked around, a bit confused, then nearly jumped out of his skin when the wurf came again right by his ear. He tried to regather his wits, but he could be forgiven since there was a ball of orange-and-white fluff hovering over his desk. The only other hints he had was the black nose that protruded from the fluffy lighter-than-air mass and the doggie kisses he suddenly received.
"MAYONAKAAAAAAA!"
"uh-oh," replied his daughter at the door. Benjamin gave her a sour look that combined his annoyance at having unwittingly yelled at his daughter and having something strange happen to the family pet.
"Explanation please?"
"It was a 'wave treated dog shampoo. I was hoping it'd fix his shedding problem. The stuff clogs the filters every time I go out with him."
Benjamin sighed. "At least it wasn't a shaggy dog joke. Plenty enough of those here in real life as it is!"
Hehe.... hoverdog. Thing with dogs. They only shed twice a year. For the first six months, then for the last six months.
Now for one thats 'Mildly' NSFW...
--------------
Two gunshots rang inside the workshop, followed moments later by a strangely satisfied groan, and the whirr of an electric polisher winding down.
Ford Sierra stood in overalls with the polisher still spinning in her hands, a perplexed and surprised look on her face. Jet lay on the workbench, panting, chest half-coated in hazy turtle wax. The other half was buffed to a deep shine.
“You didn’t...” Sierra mumbled.
Jet smiled back at her almost shamefully, “Well...that’s a first”
A small whisp of blue oilsmoke rose guiltily up from one of her engines.
Sierra barked a laugh, “At least we can have fun like a normal couple for once...”
She grinned. The electric polisher began to wail once more.
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--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
HAH! I can easily see this one coming up as some sort of in-joke during a get together...
Ben: "GYAAAHHH! You two! WAY too much INFORMATION!"
Now I have this image in my head of Sierra mercilessly teasing Jet someplace public by just saying cheerfully things like:
"Hey Jet, I think we should get the family-pack of Turtle Wax. We're running low."
Or
"Oh look, Turtle Wax is on special... half off!"
Cue Evil Grin from Sierra and Jet blushing crimson and NOBODY else 'getting it'. XD
Reminds me of a rather sophomoric pun that made the rounds in my group during high school, based off of Mr. Miyagi's "Wax on, wax off." line from "The Karate Kid."
(If you think about the line, as parsed by 16-year-old boys, you'll get the pun.)
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com
"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
It does put a certain spin on Jet being regularly clean and well polished and dirt-free.... "Autosol, or Turtle Wax?"
Well... nobody ever accused me of being mature.
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--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
The remains of the last Boskonian Cruiser drifted by, reduced by a combination of explosive decompression, and 76 millimetre gunfire, to an expanding cloud of gas and debris. Captain Ray Garret watched it go by out the bridge windows, enjoying that victorious feeling.
"Status of the Convoy?" he asked.
"You make me do all the work reports no damage to ships in the convoy. No casualties. " Megan answered from the comm-station
"And ourselves?"
Anne checked her panel... check it again, narrowing her eyes, scrutinizing it is if her life depended on it.
"Engineering reports full power restoration in 10 minutes. They'll try do it in three. One of the Rheinmetalls overheated and jammed again. And..." she paused, ears flickering. "It says here, that the Third Bridge has been destroyed,"
Ray double checked for himself... Sure enough. There it was, right under the remark about the jammed gun. As far as the computers were concerned, the Third Bridge had indeed been shot clean off.
"But...we don't even have a Third bridge..." said the Captain
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--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
Well, of course you don't. It's been shot clean off!
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
The Third Bridge is a part of the Space Battleship Yamato that was always getting shot off, just to show how dangerous the situation was.
The crew are from the SS
Ciara, which is a small ex-Naval coastal patrol ship that got launched into orbit in 2010 (About 2 weeks ago, or so)... Haruhi once referred to them as a "Real Space Battleship".
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--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
Did you hear about Joe? No, well then let me tell you. That's his
picture right there. Yup.... you might think 'What a God awful Joker' but let me tell you, Joe'll say it's better than being dead. Zwilnik raid, he was decapitated by shrapnel y'see, and a quick thinking mate of his threw his head in a bucket of 'wave. Desperate gamble... but it feckin' worked. Even so... he was a head.
Just a head. His mates did the best to give him a good life.
He lived for a couple of years until his mates finally saved up enough cash to get him a brand new body. All shiny and cybernetic with proper neural induction gear...a real face, the works. A proper normal life. So, Joes birthday comes around and they all throw him a great big party and at the climax, they all gather around and say "Joe, we've got you the greatest surprise."
Joe fixes them with an angry stare and says:
"Not another bleedin' hat!"
------------>>
Note: While some Fen might believe this, many will recognise the picture as being one of a blobfish. Or have heard the original joke it's based on.
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--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
Some of the StellviaCorp top brass get caught up in a Humorist flash-mob. Two of them get separated from the others...
"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right - here I am, stuck in the middle with Yuu."
"'Stuck'? Thanks so much, grandfather."
"Remind me when we get home to give you access to my music collection."
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
"Who?"
"Yuu!"
"ME!?"
"No Yuu!"
Eventually, there'll be a law against that. But not yet.
Meanwhile:
"....so, this Polizei car pulls up and we start having a conversation. They make me show them the video from my helmet-cam and I'm about to drop a brick because there's video of me pushing the Highway Star to a very high speed. So they watch it, exchange nods and glances before finally ambling over to me. The only reason I didn't just fly off was because they'd keep the Star, and I'd die before giving that thing up. It's the best thing I've ever done. He fixes his cap, and produces his notebook and fixes me with a very official stare.
'We're sorry but we will have to fine you. Stopping on the autobahn for no good reason is forbidden, and running out of fuel does not constitute a good reason, as this is a preventable occurrence.'
The second one then chimes in: 'Does that helmet have CE approval?"
About the only thing I didn't get fined for was for the speed.
"
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--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
Dartz Wrote:"Who?"
"Yuu!"
"ME!?"
"No Yuu!"
Eventually, there'll be a law against that. But not yet.
Yeah - let's wait until she finds a boyfriend. ("You're my dream come true, my one and only Yuu.")
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
"She Yuu. Who You?"
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by
Echo's Children
"Me doctor. Yuu sister."
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
"Who's on First? No, that's another joke." [grin]
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind