11-27-2006, 08:46 AM
1. I am no longer allowed to name SG Task Forces.
2. My secret identity is not "Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third".
2a. I should not tell reporters that it is.
3. I am not allowed to hack the hospital teleport network for my personal convenience.
3a. Even if Manticore does it.
4. Not allowed to hack the base portal so my teammates arrive naked.
5. Arachnos soldiers are not "neighbourhood friendly Spider-Men".
6. I cannot increase someone's security level in exchange for US dollars.
6a. I should stop telling new heroes that I can.
6b. Especially in earshot of Ms. Liberty.
7. I should stop vanishing in the middle of Task Forces.
7a. I am not allowed to blame my disappearance on Portal Corp.
8. The SG base computer is not for porn.
8a. Neither are the hologram projectors.
9. I should not cover the base with nude pictures of my teammates.
9a. Even if the people in them gave me permission.
10. I am not a Praetorian.
10b. I am not Tyrant's court jester.
11. Hamidon is not my Patron. I do not have access to his powers.
12. I should not try to talk to catgirls "in their own language".
12a. Nobody wants to hear me meow.
12b. Or sing Broadway tunes from "Cats".
13. Rikti are not that kind of alien, and I shouldn't try to sell them green cards.
14. I do not have a theme song.
14a. Even if I do, I am not allowed to burp it.
15. I am not the love child of Statesman and Recluse.
16. Paragon City is not a computer simulation. I should not attempt to convince people otherwise.
17. My power is not "breaking the 4th wall".
18. I am not allowed to vomit on Dr. Vahzilok.
18a. It aint "poetic revenge". 's just gross.
19. I shouldn't send my SGmates on blind dates with Vahzilok zombies.
19a. Even if they're really into that sort of thing.
19b. Even if they asked me to.
20. They're the Circle of Thorns, not the Circus of Thorns.
20a. I shouldn't suggest that they merge with the Carnival.
21. Circle mages wear robes for mystic ceremonial reasons. They are not bathrobes.
21a. They aren't in robes because they "keep getting lost in Oranbega" and "haven't seen their closets in years".
21b. The Oranbegan civilisation did not collapse because "they could never find the bathroom".
22. The last hostage is not in the bathroom.
22a. The hostage is not a Stalker. He is not hiding from us.
23. My supergroup is named "The Legendary", not the "Freakdom Phalanx".
24. It's the blood of Mu, not the blood of Moo.
24a. Humans cannot breed with cattle, and I should stop suggesting they can.
24b. That is not the reason Arachnos mages are so stupid.
25. Offices in Paragon City were not designed by the architectural firm of M.C. Escher and Sons.
26. I am not the President of the Ghost Widow fanclub.
27. The Skulls and Hellions are not pursuing a tragically doomed love affair.
28. The Warriors will not come out and play.
28a. Even if I ask their mothers.
29. Shivans aren't edible.
30. TP stands for teleport, not toilet paper.
30a. I shouldn't offer a roll to people who ask.
31. My contacts are not trying to kill me.
31a. I am not allowed to threaten them until they give me better missions.
32. Positron is not trying to kill me.
32a. If I don't want to join his Task Force, just say so.
32b. I shouldn't attack him with a can opener.
32c. I must respect Positron's restraining order.
33. I am not licensed to sell medical insurance.
33a. I should stop trying to sell plans to my teammates while they run back from the hospital.
34. Although I can fly, I am not allowed to paint "kill silhouettes" on the side of my costume.
35. My travel power is not "waiting for the bus".
35a. Or hailing a taxi.
35b. Waiting for the porter to get there is not a travel power.
36. Fire Controllers do not "set Rikti monkeys on fire".
37. My telepathic teammates are not trying to read my mind, and I should stop thinking the digits of pi.
38. I am not a magical girl. I do not have a transformation sequence.
38a. I shouldn't try to prove otherwise. I look terrible in a skirt.
38b. My attacks aren't more powerful when I shout their names.
38c. My singing voice is not a mez attack.
39. I am not allowed to team up with a Gravity Controller and sell all that stuff on eBay.
40. Sleep is not for the weak. I should not tell my teammates that it is.
40a. Nor is sleep for the week, ie. every seven days.
41. If someone asks if I'm a healer, I should not pretend to be a televangelist.
42. Croatoa is not a theme park.
42a. The Cabal witches are not interested in dates.
42b. The Red Caps are not "after me Lucky Charms".
42c. I am not allowed to make pie from the heads of Fir Bolg.
42d. I cannot turn the Tuatha de Dannon human again.
42e. Just shaving them doesn't work.
43. Sergei at Icon really does want to give me a makeover. He does not want to get in my pants.
44. Frostfire does not want a Monopoly set for Christmas.
44a. He does not collect "Get out of Jail Free" cards, no matter how much I think otherwise.
45. My role on the team is not "loose cannon".
46. Even if my tights chafe, my teammates do not need to know this.
46a. They don't need reminders every five minutes.
47. I am not allowed to yell "BIO BREAK" in the middle of battle...and unzip my fly.
47a. I do not have a toxic ranged attack.
48. If I recover a nuclear weapon from Warburg, I am not allowed to sell it on eBay.
49. The Clockwork robots are not cute, and I shouldn't try to "collect 'em all".
50. I am not a Kheldian in "idiot form".
-- Acyl
2. My secret identity is not "Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third".
2a. I should not tell reporters that it is.
3. I am not allowed to hack the hospital teleport network for my personal convenience.
3a. Even if Manticore does it.
4. Not allowed to hack the base portal so my teammates arrive naked.
5. Arachnos soldiers are not "neighbourhood friendly Spider-Men".
6. I cannot increase someone's security level in exchange for US dollars.
6a. I should stop telling new heroes that I can.
6b. Especially in earshot of Ms. Liberty.
7. I should stop vanishing in the middle of Task Forces.
7a. I am not allowed to blame my disappearance on Portal Corp.
8. The SG base computer is not for porn.
8a. Neither are the hologram projectors.
9. I should not cover the base with nude pictures of my teammates.
9a. Even if the people in them gave me permission.
10. I am not a Praetorian.
10b. I am not Tyrant's court jester.
11. Hamidon is not my Patron. I do not have access to his powers.
12. I should not try to talk to catgirls "in their own language".
12a. Nobody wants to hear me meow.
12b. Or sing Broadway tunes from "Cats".
13. Rikti are not that kind of alien, and I shouldn't try to sell them green cards.
14. I do not have a theme song.
14a. Even if I do, I am not allowed to burp it.
15. I am not the love child of Statesman and Recluse.
16. Paragon City is not a computer simulation. I should not attempt to convince people otherwise.
17. My power is not "breaking the 4th wall".
18. I am not allowed to vomit on Dr. Vahzilok.
18a. It aint "poetic revenge". 's just gross.
19. I shouldn't send my SGmates on blind dates with Vahzilok zombies.
19a. Even if they're really into that sort of thing.
19b. Even if they asked me to.
20. They're the Circle of Thorns, not the Circus of Thorns.
20a. I shouldn't suggest that they merge with the Carnival.
21. Circle mages wear robes for mystic ceremonial reasons. They are not bathrobes.
21a. They aren't in robes because they "keep getting lost in Oranbega" and "haven't seen their closets in years".
21b. The Oranbegan civilisation did not collapse because "they could never find the bathroom".
22. The last hostage is not in the bathroom.
22a. The hostage is not a Stalker. He is not hiding from us.
23. My supergroup is named "The Legendary", not the "Freakdom Phalanx".
24. It's the blood of Mu, not the blood of Moo.
24a. Humans cannot breed with cattle, and I should stop suggesting they can.
24b. That is not the reason Arachnos mages are so stupid.
25. Offices in Paragon City were not designed by the architectural firm of M.C. Escher and Sons.
26. I am not the President of the Ghost Widow fanclub.
27. The Skulls and Hellions are not pursuing a tragically doomed love affair.
28. The Warriors will not come out and play.
28a. Even if I ask their mothers.
29. Shivans aren't edible.
30. TP stands for teleport, not toilet paper.
30a. I shouldn't offer a roll to people who ask.
31. My contacts are not trying to kill me.
31a. I am not allowed to threaten them until they give me better missions.
32. Positron is not trying to kill me.
32a. If I don't want to join his Task Force, just say so.
32b. I shouldn't attack him with a can opener.
32c. I must respect Positron's restraining order.
33. I am not licensed to sell medical insurance.
33a. I should stop trying to sell plans to my teammates while they run back from the hospital.
34. Although I can fly, I am not allowed to paint "kill silhouettes" on the side of my costume.
35. My travel power is not "waiting for the bus".
35a. Or hailing a taxi.
35b. Waiting for the porter to get there is not a travel power.
36. Fire Controllers do not "set Rikti monkeys on fire".
37. My telepathic teammates are not trying to read my mind, and I should stop thinking the digits of pi.
38. I am not a magical girl. I do not have a transformation sequence.
38a. I shouldn't try to prove otherwise. I look terrible in a skirt.
38b. My attacks aren't more powerful when I shout their names.
38c. My singing voice is not a mez attack.
39. I am not allowed to team up with a Gravity Controller and sell all that stuff on eBay.
40. Sleep is not for the weak. I should not tell my teammates that it is.
40a. Nor is sleep for the week, ie. every seven days.
41. If someone asks if I'm a healer, I should not pretend to be a televangelist.
42. Croatoa is not a theme park.
42a. The Cabal witches are not interested in dates.
42b. The Red Caps are not "after me Lucky Charms".
42c. I am not allowed to make pie from the heads of Fir Bolg.
42d. I cannot turn the Tuatha de Dannon human again.
42e. Just shaving them doesn't work.
43. Sergei at Icon really does want to give me a makeover. He does not want to get in my pants.
44. Frostfire does not want a Monopoly set for Christmas.
44a. He does not collect "Get out of Jail Free" cards, no matter how much I think otherwise.
45. My role on the team is not "loose cannon".
46. Even if my tights chafe, my teammates do not need to know this.
46a. They don't need reminders every five minutes.
47. I am not allowed to yell "BIO BREAK" in the middle of battle...and unzip my fly.
47a. I do not have a toxic ranged attack.
48. If I recover a nuclear weapon from Warburg, I am not allowed to sell it on eBay.
49. The Clockwork robots are not cute, and I shouldn't try to "collect 'em all".
50. I am not a Kheldian in "idiot form".
-- Acyl
![[Image: tongue.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/tongue.gif)
![[Image: ohwell.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/ohwell.gif)