Drunkard's Walk Forums

When someone tries to argue real physics in a fictional setting, God kills a catgirl.

--Sam

Please, think of the catgirls!

*Snicker* I completely forgot that one :lol

hehehe, that's cute.

Loved the shocked Evangelia.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Gurren Lagann!

good use of the ice as a beer cooler!
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

The apartment was quiet for a change. This was an unusual state of affairs; with two and a half catgirls (counting the magical advisor slash hero Neko), a
woman whose sense of humor was on par with the fey whose blood she shared, and a self-proclaimed genius hacker with a penchant for friendly pranks all living
under the same roof -- not counting the occasional couch-crashing house guest -- it was a wonder that the place hadn't exploded from sheer activity levels
by now.

But this afternoon in early fall, it was quiet. All the occupants save one were out, and that exception was doing her best to finish her task before anyone
came home. It was a surprise, you see.

Samantha -- catgirl, former orphan, proud bearer of the Hyper Kitteh moniker bestowed upon her by Aunt Nene herself -- slowly stirred the thick mass in the
mixing bowl as she frowned thoughtfully at the open recipe book on the counter, her tongue stuck firmly in the corner of her mouth and her brow furrowed in
puzzlement.

"Sprinkle in the sugar and beat until soft peaks form," she read aloud slowly, and shook her head. "This is tougher than I thought." She
lifted her ladle with some difficulty and examined the gooey material. It held its shape stubbornly, clinging to the spoon and resembling nothing so much as a
frustrated thundercloud having a bad hair day. Sammy nodded to herself. "That oughta do it."

The title at the top of the recipe page caught her eye again, and she snorted. She was the first to admit she wasn't the world's best reader -- as
she'd pointed out to Mr. Turtle the other day, she hadn't known *how* to read until she got to the Home, which wasn't all that long ago, really --
but even she knew that books were supposed to have things spelled correctly.

"It's M-O-U-S-E, you dummies," she said piously. "You've got an extra 'S' in there."

Nodding firmly, she turned to the molds she'd prepared earlier and began spooning the thick chocolate goo into them. It would firm up in the fridge by the
time everyone got home, and then she'd surprise them all. They didn't think she could cook, but she'd show them. She'd followed the recipe
exactly!

* * * * *

The lock rattled, then clicked. The door swung open and Nene entered, followed by Ifrit. Alice trailed last, wearing a sour expression; on her shoulder, Neko
wore a look of barely-contained mirth.

"Hello? Anybody home?" Nene called out. There was a flash of movement in the shadows behind the couch; she whirled, reflexes kicking into
overdrive, as--

--Sammy pounced.

"Hello, Sammy," Ifrit said with a smile, twisting her head to peer over her shoulder at the catgirl clinging to her back.

"Hi, Aunt Ifrit!"

"Thank you for not using your claws this time."

"Heh. Um... yeah. Sorry about that... again...." Sammy dropped to the floor and chuckled in embarrassment. "It's the wings...
they're so PRETTY... and TWITCHY... and... I'll stop now."

Alice and Nene chuckled. Ifrit shook her head in patient amusement. "I'm going to go get a snack," she declared, leaving the shame-faced
catgirl and the others in the living room and heading for the kitchen.

"You'd think I'd be used to you doing that by now," Nene remarked. "You spend more time clinging to my girlfriend than I do."

"Hey!" Sammy looked indignant, then whirled on Alice, who was not quite -- quite -- howling with laughter. "That's not... ooooh!"

Further discourse was cut short by an explosion that rocked the building, coupled with a high-pitched wavering scream of terror, both emanating from the
kitchen. Heedless of possible danger the heroes charged into the smoke cloud.

"IFRIT!" Nene snapped. "What happened?" She skidded to a halt as some of the smoke began to clear, nearly causing a catgirl pileup as
Sammy and Alice both attempted to avoid running her over, dodged into each other, rolled in a ball of purple and grey fur, and came to their feet on either
side of Nene, weapons drawn and ready. Neko landed lightly on the counter, having leaped from Alice's shoulder at the first sign of impending collision.
They all regarded Ifrit with wide eyes.

The fey stood ramrod-stiff, one hand extended in one of her classic flame attack positions, the other mostly covering her eyes -- which were themselves
squinched shut tightly. The refrigerator was, in a word, gone -- the freezer compartment was embedded in the ceiling, smoke drifting gently from its scorched
bottom edge, while the main part had simply blown apart, leaving a gaping, soot-encrusted, charred hole in the wall where a nice innocent Kenmore had once
stood.

Belatedly, the icemaker feed line began to spray water in the air in a tiny arc, forming a small puddle on the floor.

"Ifrit?" Nene said more slowly. "Why did you blow up the fridge, hon?"

"Are they gone?" Ifrit asked.

Nene's humor was reasserting itself as it appeared there was no lingering danger. "What, did the stuff in the Tupperware containers threaten you when
you opened the door?"

Ifrit peeked, then lowered her arms and shivered. "Mice!" she declared with loathing. "There were MICE... in our REFRIGERATOR."

Sammy's eyes widened. "AUNT IFRIT!" she wailed. "You BLEW UP my MICE!"

Ifrit whirled on her. "You put MICE in my FRIDGE?!?"

"They were a SURPRISE!" Sammy wailed, tears forming. "They were really hard to get right, too!"

"You put MICE in my FRIDGE?!?" Ifrit was starting to smolder -- literally.

"Hold it a second," Nene said, holding up a hand. "Time out." She turned to Sammy and laid a comforting hand on the catgirl's
shoulder. "Now why did you put icky nasty mice in our nice clean fridge?"

"They WEREN'T icky! I m-m-made y-you a CHOCOLATE MOUSE!" Sammy sobbed. "It was supposed to be a SURPRISE!"

Nene blinked. "Well, I think it definitely qualifies as that."

Ifrit was frowning. "Chocolate?"

Alice: "Mouse?"

They regarded each other in confusion and turned to Sammy. "Chocolate... mouse?"

Sammy nodded and sniffed. "Yeah... I heard Aunt Nene talking about how much she liked that chocolate moose at that restaurant the other night, and I
couldn't find a recipe for a moose, but I found one for a mouse, and it was chocolate, and I thought she'd like it, and it was really hard to make and
you BLEW UP MY MOUSE!"

Neko fell over laughing. Ifrit bit her lip to keep from doing the same; Alice fell back against the wall and slowly slid down it, either hiccuping or laughing
so hard she couldn't breathe, it was hard to tell. Nene managed to control herself, but a grin twitched the corners of her lips as she squatted down next
to the sobbing Sammy.

Without looking up, she said, "I'm taking Sammy out so she can see what real chocolate mousse is supposed to be like." She turned her head and
regarded Ifrit. "Think maybe you can take Alice and get us a new fridge, hon?"

Ifrit nodded, still trying not to burst into laughter.

"C'mon, Sammy," Nene said, gently pulling the catgirl to her feet. "Let's you and me go get some chocolate, and then we'll talk
about your schoolwork."

"S-schoolwork?" Sammy said, sniffing back a tear.

Nene nodded as they left. "Uh-huh. Spelling, to be precise."

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

*guffaw*

Chocolate.. Mouse! AHAHAHAHAHAH
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

*Is in about the same condition as Alice right now.*

Would that be Spelling ... or French?
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

"Anime? Is this like those large, overweight sweaty kids that seemed to smell even worse if I looked in their direction in high school?" Lynna asked.

Valles' perky expression fell a bit at that image, before she sighed. "No. You remember the costumes that we showed off in the D? That got those reactions out of Terr and even Mag?"

"Yeah? So this is like that then?" Lynna said, still not particularly enlightened.

"Sort of. Anime is a genre of animation from Japan," V said, settling into a lecturing mode.

"So it's not in English."

"Well, some of it's not. Other anime's been so popular that they translated it and sell it here."

"So it is in English?" Lynna asked.

"Mostly....unless it hasn't been released here yet, in which case it's subtitled," V explained

"....I'm lost."

V sighed and pulled out a DVD case. She wasn't sure if she particularly wanted to watch this, but occasionally lots of pretty explosions and fan service would serve rather than trying to explain the intricacies of the genre to Lynna verbally.

"How about we just watch it? If you have questions, I can probably answer them as we watch."

Lynna shrugged, bouncing over the couchback and landing next to V as she put the DVD in. "What's this one?"

"Something Mag recommended to me. Gurren Lagann. He gave it to me and said to stick with it through episode 8, and that was about it."

"Huh."
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

Emi Arizona plopped down on the couch next to Valles, sprawling bonelessly.

"So," she asked, "whatcha watchin'?"

The Kheldian host replied, "Tengen Toppen Gurren Lagann." She turned and looked significantly at the bluenette. "The latest from Gainax."

A look of disgust crossed Emi's face. "Anno's not directing is he?"

Valles shook her head and looked at the DVD case. "Nah, it's... Hiroyuki Imaishi."

"Never heard of him. So, is it any good?"

"Well, this is episode 6 and Mag said to stick it out to 8, so...."

"Ah. Well, the Magster hasn't steered me wrong yet. Clumsy Girl Aki-chan was a riot..."

---

Clumsy Girl Aki-chan is a fictional anime series from Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu or Nogizaka's Secret A very cutesy magical-girl show that the female lead is a closet otaku for.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

I'm cudgeling my brain to remember what happens in episode 8..
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

(I really need to watch more anime - I have no idea about
any of the series that have been talked about lately.)

The sweat is running off me in buckets. I narrow my eyes and furrow my brow, hoping to keep it from blinding
me. Step left. Jab. Jab.
Cross. Uppercut. The tape on my knuckles scrapes against the rough canvas of
the heavy bag. Step. Hook.
Hook. I can feel last of my strength going out of my arms. I reach deep and
pull it back together. That's what separates you from the palookas who only think they can fight. You always got more. One more step. One more
punch.



The sweat hits my eyes and I blink hard. My body takes over. Left right combo, snap the head to clear the sweat. Uppercut. The bag jumps like a Dockworker with a shirt full of spiders. All I care about is staying on my feet now; that's where I focus my attention. The
rest is automatic. Fist follows fist follows fist.



"Time."
The voice is crisp, clear and very, very, British. I step back from the bag and accept a towel from my
trainer. Me and that Rocky guy from the flickers. We're both trained by
penguins.



"Better Gilbert, better." Al gives me the beady black eye as only an emperor penguin can. This ain't
good. I don't know if he was like this when he taught the kid to use a sword, but if it was, there were sure to be
tears.



"You are still over committing on your hook and your
cross." The compliment was a lump of sugar. The rest is cod liver
oil. A lot of it. Maybe I'm being culturally insensitive, maybe it's a
good thing for penguins. No. I don't buy it either.



"While such blatantly amateur mistakes might be
tolerable in the rough and tumble matches you have previously subjected yourself to, they are a glaring weakness in your style.
One that an individual with more talent than you possess will gladly take advantage of." Al waddles around
me in a circle as I struggle to get some air back into my lungs. "You need more hip and less shoulder in your
punches. Again."



He waddles over to a bench and heaves himself up on it with
an odd flopping motion. I wipe the sweat from my face and toss the towel back to him.



"You're a real sweetheart Al." I snarl at him.



"And you are goldbricking Gilbert." He snaps back. His beak darts out and taps the bell mounted next to the bench. "I want to see proper footwork and good, clean, punching. Am I
understood?"



"Yeah." I
turn back towards the bag, arms up in guard. Step. Left. Left. Jab.



My name is Gil MacHeath, I'm a shamus, a private eye; I
thought I was a pretty good boxer. One of these days I'm going to get Al ripped on pickled herring and find out
where he learned so much about the sweet science. Until then, I'm just going to learn.

Beautiful, Rev, beautiful.

In the magical advisor field, Alistair has got to be one of the best. It's the British, of course. Can't be a proper advisor without being British.
*grin*

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

Quote: Sofaspud wrote:

---

Beautiful, Rev, beautiful.




In the magical advisor field, Alistair has got to be one of the best. It's the British, of course. Can't be a proper advisor without being British.
*grin*

You can, but you trade "British" for "crotchety" and "old." As examples, see Burgess Meredith from
"Rocky," Yoda, and the little old men that look like they can barely move (but can still beat your ass with their arthritic pinky finger) in every
Hong Kong martial arts flick ever made. Sadly, the two traits are rarely combined; crotchety, old British mentors are rarely any more effective.
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

Quote: Wiredgeek wrote:

---

I'm cudgeling my brain to remember what happens in episode 8..

The first appearance of the Giga Drill Breaker, Wire.
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

pfft, that's nothing. I'd have keyed them in on the Death of Kamina, these are cat_Girls_, after all.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

...that's the same episode, Wire. :lol
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

*content*
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

Quote:Beautiful, Rev, beautiful.

Seconded, vigorously.

Quote:In the magical advisor field, Alistair has got to be one of the best. It's the British, of course. Can't be a proper advisor without being British. *grin*

When I created him just on a spur of the moment whim, I never expected he would come to life like this. You make him so ... real for someone who was originally intended as a throwaway gag. I bow to your mojo, sir.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Got the idea for this from Wire's snippet about the Legendary's speedsters and the Freak tank. With all due appologies to Gary Larson.



--

If you've got a Warthog, every problem begins to look like a Warthog

will solve it. There is a large set of problems for which this is in

fact correct.

-- Mike Andrews

*cackles*
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

"... and then I tried -another- door, an' a door after that, an' they were both full of witches and zombies and everything but that's okay
'cause I sliced 'em up and then I tried ANOTHER door and there was a nice lady there who gave me candy but the door next to hers was full of FIR BOLG,
can you believe it? and the one next to --"

"Sammy."

"-- an' anyway Halloween is the BEST holiday ever did you get any candy? I got TONS of candy, at least I thought I got tons of candy but looking at
the pile --"

"SAMMY."

"-- there really isn't all that much candy left is there? Maybe I should go get oooh I'm gonna go get MORE candy, if you want some that's
fine I don't mind sharing the candy you've got to try these little yellow things or maybe the red striped ones, I don't like the licorice though so
if you like licorice you can have --"

"SAMMY!"

"-- all the licorice okay? Okay. I'm going to go get some more this is FUN see you later bye!" A red and black blur caused empty candy
wrappers to whirl briefly, followed by a startled yelp from down the hall -- "Sorry Miss Gamma!" -- and the sound of a teleporter activating.

Mag Flashlight slowly lowered his coffee mug from where it had paused when Sammy had first appeared, maybe twenty seconds ago. "What," he said
slowly and calmly, "was that?"

Alice blew a long, deep sigh and looked at him over the foot-high pile of assorted sugary sweets that had been dumped on the table between them.

"That, Mag, is a catgirl on a sugar rush."

"Be afraid," Neko put in solemnly from the edge of the table. "Be very, very afraid."

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

*snickers uncontrollably*

Someone should've escorted her to teach the poor girl moderation. Whoops.
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

Someone should team the poor girl up with Fae.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.