Drunkard's Walk Forums

"Let me make sure I've got this right," Purrfect Arrow shook his head as if he was trying to clear it. "You're saying that every
winter someone goes around all the suburbs of Paragon City and randomly leaves wrapped packages sitting in parking lots, roofs, streets, you name it. And when
you open these packages sometimes you'll find some candy canes, or smaller gifts, or even snow men that pop out of them and attack you?"

Purrfect Scrapper nodded her head excitedly. "Yep! And then you get to slice them up and go on to the next one!"

"But... that doesn't make any sense!"

Sammy grinned. "Nope! But it's fun!"

The catman groaned. "They really need to change the motto of this place. Paragon City: Abandon All Logic Ye Who Enter Here."

*****

They decided that Brickstown would be the best place to go present opening. Sammy and Arrow, along with a few others from Riot Force and The Legendary started
making their rounds. The two cats went their own way while the others all went looking in different directions. After a minute, they found a brightly wrapped
box about a foot deep and two feet wide.

"So this is the present I'm supposed to open?"

The scrapper grinned. "Open it!"

"Okay okay..." Arrow reached down and slowly inched the top off, ready to flee at any sign. When he had it about a handspan up, with no explosion,
he lifted the lid the rest of the way off and inside was a single candy cane.

"OOH, CANDY! Look Arrow, you got a candy cane!" Sammy bounced and gave him a smile. "Can I have it? Please! Oh, canIcanIcanI?"

The archer chuckled and gave the peppermint stick to her. "Sure, go ahead. That was a lot less... nervewracking than I was expecting it to be."

"Thanks!" Sammy nommed on the candy cane as the two of them went around the corner to find yet another decorated box. "Another one!" The
catgirl darted forward and opened the box with a large flourish... and found yet another candy cane. This one she proffered to Arrow with a grin. "And
this one's for you."

He chuckled as he took it from her. "Thanks Kitten." Breaking off the tip, he popped it into his mouth and put the rest of the candy cane into his
salvage bag. "Well, I think I get the idea now. I'm going to go around and see what else I can find." Concentrating briefly, he willed himself
invisible and went onward to the next box. Sammy darted the opposite way to search for her own presents.

The next one had a slightly different reaction when he touched it... it literally exploded and out popped a half dozen snow men, and every last one of them was
looking for trouble. It took him a few moments of wondering 'How did all of them fit in that little box?!' before he realized that they were just
standing there and hadn't noticed him. Thankful that he could go invisible at need, he snuck away from them and went looking for another box. It was
getting to be a cat and mouse game, and he was quickly growing to enjoy it.

Eventually he saw one on a slightly raised platform near the war walls and hopped up onto it. Pulling the lid off, he was taken utterly by surprise by the 20
foot tall monster that loomed out of this one, and apparently saw the hidden archer just fine. The giant snowman pulled out a even larger sword made of ice and
swung it at Arrow, knocking him off the platform and into the middle of the street flat on his back. He sat up trying to get his wits together when a driver
suddenly turned and came barreling down the road. A quick dodge and jump avoided that obstacle, but had taken his attention off the giant who hurled a fistful
of ice shards that hit Arrow directly in the chest. Gasping because of cold and pain he got up and stumbled down an alleyway that had a large trash bin in it.
He ducked behind the trash bin and kept still and quiet until he heard the thumping steps of the giant retreat back to where the box had been.

He sat there for a few minutes, shivering in the cold, until he finally realized the sounds of the giant had quieted down to nothing. Getting up from his spot
he peeked around the corner of the building, and his jaw dropped. There was no 20 foot snowman acting like the yeti. Only the wrapped box was back, as if
nothing had happened. Not even a sign of ice or wetness on the ground, as if it had melted. Warily, he returned to the box and opened it again. This time
was only a candy cane again. He left it there and leaped up to a nearby rooftop to watch what would happen next.

Twenty minutes passed as he crouched on the corner of the roof and nothing happened. The box still remained open with the candy cane in it. Finally he gave
up and leaped back down to the box and picked the cane out of it. He walked away from it about ten paces, and then something made him turn around. Standing
there was a completely different, sealed up box. The other one had been green and square, this one was yellow and tall. He blinked and looked around, but
there was nobody suspicious in sight.

Going back to it, he opened it up and it exploded in snow and a roar, as yet another giant came out of this one. Ready for it this time, he jumped into the
air and went over about a dozen rooftops before looping back to the roof he was on before. Sure enough, there was the huge snowman and his horde of smaller
snowmen all gathered up. He made sure to stay invisible and kept his distance from it as it prowled in a circle on the ground. Again, after a short while had
passed it was still there. He frowned and shivered slightly as the time passed. Suddenly he was caught unaware by a sneeze, causing him to blink for just a
millisecond. When he opened his eyes again all the snowmen were gone and a wrapped up present was in that spot again.

****

About two hours later the group got back together. They all shared stories and counted up the canes they had gathered, but Sammy noted that Arrow wasn't
there. So she went on a hunt for the archer. About 2 blocks away she found him standing and staring at an unopened box. He didn't even seem to notice
that she had come up beside him. Thinking for a moment, she darted forward and opened the box.

That got a reaction out of Arrow. "No, Don't!" He cried.

Before she could even blink he had jumped over to a rooftop a block away and perched there warily, his tail twitching and every line of his body set to flee.
She frowned and grabbed the candy cane out of the box before using a small jump pack she'd gotten a long time ago to join him on the rooftop. She crouched
down next to him and looked at the empty box. "What happened?"

He wouldn't take his eyes off the box. "Sometimes... actually a lot of times... a big, huge, giant snowman would come out of those. I don't know
how, but they did."

Sammy nodded and grinned. "Hey, you found a Winter Lord! I've heard they're big and ugly and nasty but I didn't see one when I was going
around and opening the boxes, it's so cool that you got s..."

Arrow actually interrupted her, looking at her in shock. "Winter Lord? Why didn't you TELL me about this? I've been knocked around by their
swords and nearly turned into an icicle every time one of those monsters popped out of a box."

She looked back at him in surprise. "Wait a minute, monsters? You saw more than one of them? How many, I mean even the rest of the group only saw like
two or three total and they've been looking as long as we have all been out here."

Arrow looked away from her. "I'm up to seven so far, I think." He seemed to think for a second and then stood up. "I'll show you,
follow me." He leapt off that rooftop and made his way to another rooftop near a corner of the war walls. "Do you see those?" She nodded as he
pointed to the 3 separate boxes that could be seen from that vantage. He concentrated for a moment and turned translucent, then jumped off the rooftop to the
first box. Without pausing he tore the lid off of it and made his way towards the second box and did the same thing. He had managed to dodge the blasts from
the first two Winter Lords that appeared but when he opened the third box and jumped towards where Sammy was waiting, the final Winter Lord nailed him in the
back with a blast of ice. He made his landing spot but the ice threw his balance off and he went tumbling ears over tail off the other side of the high rise.

"Arrow!" The catgirl darted over but sighed in relief when she found him flat on his back on the top floor of the fire escape for the building. He
was panting in exhaustion and pain, but had a triumphant grin on his face.

"See, I told you. 3 boxes, 3 of those giants." He winced as he sat up, bits of fur having frozen to off his back to the metal grating of the fire
escape.

She held out a hand to help him back to his feet, and noticed his hand felt like ice itself. Once he did manage to get to his feet, he had to lean on her for
support and she noticed that all the fur on his back was tipped with frost. "Ohmigod you're covered in white and you feel like you're one of
those snowmen yourself and you're shivering that can't be good we're going to the infirmary now and you're getting yourself checked out and no
arguing!" She tried to use a tone that she'd heard Aunt Ifrit use with Alice and it seemed to work since he only gave token efforts at arguing and
didn't resist her leading him at all.

About a half hour later she paced the lobby of the hospital like a tiger and pounced on the nurse when she came out of the back room. "Where's Arrow
is he okay he's been gone so long and nobody's come out and said anything and I don't know what's going on and..."

The nurse held up her hands and smiled, cutting off the tirade. "He's fine. I came out here to see if you wanted to come visit him in his
room."

Sammy mutely nodded and followed the nurse back. She found Arrow bundled up in a thick blanket in his room and sipping some hot tea. He smiled as he saw her
walk in with a concerned look on her face. "Hi there Kitten. I've been told to lay off of the animated snowmen that throw ice for a while and that
all I have to show for today work is a handful of candy canes and a cold." He sighed and looked at the tiny TV up on the wall. "They want to keep
me here for a couple more hours just to be sure."

Sammy shuffled and stared at her feet. "I'm just really glad you're okay." Looking up she noticed a clock on the wall and jumped. "I
was supposed to be home fifteen minutes ago, my aunts are going to have my hide if I don't go I'll seeya later Arrow!" And she was out of the door
like a whirlwind leaving the nurse and Arrow in the room alone.

The nurse looked back at the archer. "Is she always like that?"

The cat man looked out the slowly closing door with a smile on his face. "Yeah, she is."

D'awwwwww

that's kinda like what present hunting feels like for me - I always get the Winter Lord.

'cept with more arrogance 8 )
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

Purrfect Arrow glanced at the clock on the wall across the street from where he stood in ankle-deep snow, comparing it against his own internal sense of time.
As usual, he noted to himself, he was dead-on; and also, Kitten was late. Not by very much, but she'd been the one to set up the meeting, so he'd
thought that maybe this time--

A sudden change in air pressure alerted him. He threw himself to the side, dodging the blow, and whirled to face his attacker... then burst out laughing.

Sammy gave him a half-hearted glare from where she lay sprawled in the snow, her attempt to pounce on him from behind having failed abysmally. She scrambled
back to her feet and swiped at the snow crusting her features. "You dodged!" she complained, and frowned, staring cross-eyed at a dab of snow
adorning the tip of her nose like icing. She shook her head, flinging it off, and smiled brightly. "Hi Arrow!"

"Hey, Kitten," he said, and watched the cold bring a slight flush to her cheeks.

"I wanted this to be a surprise but it's really hard to surprise you, and you don't even have a locker or anything at your base -- Aunt Nene
helped me look -- and I couldn't figure out any other way to get this to you today, so that's why I had to call. I'm not ruining your Christmas,
am I?"

Arrow shook his head and chuckled. "No. I thought it seemed odd that you wanted to bust goons on Christmas day, heh."

Sammy beamed at him and dug into the sack at her feet -- a sack that matched her Christmas Kitty outfit, as she'd called it once, large and made of red
velvet with white trim. Arrow couldn't help but grin. He was starting to wonder if maybe Kitten enjoyed Christmas a little -too- much.

"Merry Christmas!" she proclaimed, pulling a box out of the bag and presenting it to him. It was about two feet square and a foot deep, and bore a
large ribbon holding it shut; he couldn't help but notice it looked exactly like one of the boxes that had held a Winter Lord and his entourage, and eyed
Sammy with a raised eyebrow.

"This isn't going to pop out a bunch of anti-social snowmen, is it?" he said with a grin as he took the (surprisingly heavy!) box from the
catgirl and teased gently at the ribbon.

"No, silly!" Sammy clasped her hands behind her and rocked gently back and forth on her feet, obviously impatient. "C'mon, open it! Merry
Christmas!"

He chuckled and removed the ribbon. That seemed to be some sort of cue; as soon as the ribbon fell away, the box suddenly began to emit a low hum and became
light as a feather -- in fact, the lid lifted away on its own, and Arrow took a step back, startled, as the paper stuffing and the bottom of the box fell away
from the contents.

It was a hovering machine of some kind, wearing the lid of the box as an impromptu and slightly-askew hat, and it spun lightly in place to regard him with a
glinting targeting array and twin multi-barrelled chainguns. He regarded it cautiously as it appeared to do the same to him, and Sammy chirped from behind the
death-machine, "Do you like it?"

"What IS it?" he inquired, reaching out tentatively to tap lightly at the device, which bobbed gently at his touch but otherwise did nothing.

"It's the latest model I could find, the guy at the first store was kinda a jerk but the next one was pretty nice and he said this was a
state-of-the-art top-of-the-line Gun Drone, he said it was compatible with all sorts of gadgets and since you use all sorts of nifty gadgets but I never saw
you use one of these I thought maybe you'd like it! It's got a remote control and it flies and it can be like your sidekick when I'm not around, I
mean, I'm not your sidekick but you know what I mean, it's like reinforcements and I didn't mean to say you needed reinforcements I just wanted you
to be safe out there and I'm going to shut up now."

Arrow blinked. "You got this... for me?" he said wonderingly. "I don't know what to say..."

Sammy grinned and stuck her tongue out at him. "Say Merry Christmas, silly!" A sudden beeping noise sounded from her belt; she frowned and removed
the device, regarding it with a scowl until the message flashed up on the tiny screen. "Aw, rats," she said. "I've gotta go, Aunt Nene
says they're about to start opening presents and I need to quote get my furry butt back there now, unquote, I'm sorry Arrow." She looked downcast
for a moment, then brightened. "You can, um, you can come join us for Christmas dinner if you want? I mean, if you're not already doing something,
it's okay if you are, I don't want to intrude, but if you aren't doing anything you shouldn't be alone for Christmas and we've got TONS of
food, Aunt Ifrit is a great cook, and I even made chocolate mousse the RIGHT way this time." She looked at him inquiringly, but before he could respond
the beeper went off again in an even more strident tone, and Sammy winced.

"Okay I've really gotta go but if you want to come just give me a buzz, you have my number, I'll give you the address, okay? Bye, Arrow, and
Merry Christmas!"

Arrow shook his head as he tried to catch up with the verbal torrent and belatedly realized Sammy was a vanishing blur in the distance. "Merry Christmas,
Kitten," he said quietly.

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

sammy = ernest and cute on a sugar rush
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

(bit past the sell-by date here, but what the hell *grin*)

---

Purrfect Arrow glared at his opponents as his tail lashed in suppressed frustration. It was mid-morning on Christmas Day, entirely the -wrong- time to be
doing what he was doing -- he should be -enjoying- himself, dammit, not facing down hordes of holiday horrors without benefit of his weapons or even his claws.

"Kitty!" cried one of the demon-spawn, and he tensed in preparation for another attack before realizing that it wasn't directed at him, but
instead at the rather threadbare display of stuffed ShoulderPets in front of him. The irritating voice rose in a whine as the parent maintained their litany
of negation and dragged the little snot away.

It was then he realized that maybe the press of people was getting to him. After-the-last-minute holiday shoppers surrounded him on all sides; the fact that
he was one of them at the moment didn't help his mood any. A crude banner hung overhead, fluttering in the breeze. It bore the words "OPEN 'TIL
2 ON X-MAS!!!", extra exclamation points and all, and with every twitch seemed to spur the crowd into greater frenzy, and him further towards the flight
part of the fight-or-flight response.

But what to do? He'd already called Kitten and after getting her to slow down enough to be intelligible, had promised that he'd be there for Christmas
dinner. The address was in his pocket. He couldn't back down now.

Which meant that he needed to bring some presents, even if they were only small tokens. He hadn't really thought about the holiday much -- Christmas was
mostly just another day as far as he was concerned -- but if Kitten's enthusiasm for it was any indication, her entire family was just as keen on the idea.
And Neko was there, and he would never hear the end of it from her if he showed up empty-handed. How hard could it be, right? There were a few places still
open, even on Christmas. He'd stop by, pick up a few things, and head to the party.

But he hadn't expected this!

The overhead PA system blared something, lost to even his keen hearing in the incessant warble of shouted conversation and argument flowing around him like
water. Someone in the crowd must have heard it, though, for the tide of people shifted and swirled, cresting like a wave towards a panicked-looking store
employee standing behind a counter. Arrow surmised that the only thing making the young man stand his ground was the thought of holiday plus danger pay.

Perhaps, Arrow mused thoughtfully as he ducked under an empty display stand, narrowly avoiding having his tail crushed
by a size-thirteen boot, I should try my luck somewhere else.

A half-eaten lollipop, wet and sticky and fresh from a four-year-old's mouth, landed on his arm where it protruded from under the display stand, knocked
from the tyke's grasp by his parent's tug-of-war over the last Tickle-Me-Thibor doll left in the store. Unfazed, the kid groped under the table,
secured his snack, and returned it to his mouth -- taking a bit of fur with it.

Yes, Arrow thought grimly as his eyes narrowed and his claws tried to extend of their own accord. Definitely time to go somewhere else.

---

"HE'S COMING HE'S COMING HE'S COMING!"

"(That's nice, dear. Just make sure to wash your hands before dinner.)" Nene muttered under her breath, earning a sly grin from Ifrit and a
suppressed snort from Alice.

"Catgirl, two o'clock low," the purple-haired archer added, almost as an afterthought. She hitched herself up to sit on the counter where
she'd be out of the line of fire and continued peeling apples.

Sammy burst through the doors into the kitchen and skidded across the tile, narrowly avoiding (in order) Ifrit, the island and its overhead rack of gleaming
cookware, the wastebasket, and the dishwasher. She caught herself on Nene's elbow (whirling both of them around momentarily) and bounced excitedly on the
balls of her feet.

"He's COMING OVER and you'll get to meet him and I have to go get ready and AAHHHH!!" Words having failed her, Sammy hopped madly in place
for a moment, then streaked back out of the kitchen, dashing through the gap in the doors which hadn't yet finished closing after her entrance. Seconds
later her bedroom door slammed and a loud crash echoed through the apartment, followed by a plaintive, if somewhat muffled, "Ow!"

"There goes the Striga shelf," Nene noted with a sigh. "Again."

---

"What is WITH this city?!" Arrow groused as he risked a quick peek around the corner, ducking back just in time to avoid a barrage of ice. Outside
the mouth of the narrow alleyway in which he crouched, five animated snowmen with attitude problems and their economy-package brother howled in frozen rage and
pelted his cover with snow yet again. "THANKS A LOT, PAL!" he yelled at the swiftly-vanishing form of a hero in the sky overhead.

He'd come around the corner, eyes on the slip of paper in his hand -- he was almost at the right place, he was certain of it -- and seen the
innocent-looking box waiting there. He had just started to skirt it -- hah! like he was dumb enough to trust these things any more -- when the
brightly-dressed goofball had shown up and opened it without so much as a by-your-leave. Then the goon rocketed into the sky when the snowmen burst out,
leaving Arrow literally holding the bag -- the bag full of his hard-won presents for Sammy and her family, that is.

The bag which now lay in the snow, where he'd lost his grip on it when Furious Frosty and the Frozen Five began turning him into a catsicle.

After all he'd been through getting those presents... no way in hell was he going to just -leave- them there. He'd tried sneaking in, trusting in his
glamour to hide him from the snowbeasts, but it hadn't worked. They reacted as though they knew he was there, and those ice shards -hurt-.

Time for plan B, then. When in doubt, kick ass.

He backed up a couple of steps, then crouched and sprang, touching briefly against the wall on one side of the alley. He kicked off, bouncing back and forth
between the buildings until he cleared the alley and landed lightly on the roof.

A startled Circle mage looked up from where he was heating a can of beans over a spell-bound -- and thorougly pissed off, Arrow noted -- fire sprite. Before
the man could do or say anything, Arrow sent him plummeting over the far edge of the building with a blunt arrow to the chest. The binding spell broken, the
fire sprite chirped an all-but-inaudible thanks and vanished in a puff of cinders.

Arrow shook his head in mild disbelief and moved to the northern edge of the roof. Below, the snow beasts milled around angrily, trying to locate him.

"Let's see if this thing works," he said aloud, and mashed the startup button on the remote control for the gun drone that Kitten had given him.
It flashed into existence a few feet above his head and settled down behind and to the right of his shoulders, spinning its barrels up to speed with a menacing
whine.

Arrow nocked a whole sheaf of arrows and let the deadly rain fall. The gun drone targeted the biggest frost-monster and opened fire, the rounds tearing into
the abomination in a hail of lead and little white puffs of snow. The pack of snowmen reacted, hurling ice shards up at Arrow where he perched on the edge,
even as arrows plunged around, into, and through them. Arrow dodged some of the frozen bolts and winced as others hit home, nocking an explosive arrow and
taking aim right between the coals on the big one as it scaled the side of the building to get to him.

KABOOM.

---

The building vibrated ever-so-softly. Ordinary people, if they noticed it at all, would have chalked it up to a heavy truck going by outside, or if they were
from California, at best a mild one-point-oh. But these were heroes.

Ifrit looked up as the building thrummed and frowned. "That was... about a block away, I think."

Nene nodded. "Off the ground, too -- probably a rooftop or fire escape."

Alice chimed in. "Explosive arrow." When the others looked at her, she shrugged. "No whistling, so it wasn't a rocket, and no thump
beforehand, so it wasn't a grenade. And it sounds like one of mine, a different blend, I think, but the same tone."

Sammy burst into the living room. "Was that the door? Is he here?" Seeing their reactions, she visibly deflated. "Aww, nuts."

---

The nurse at the hospital was polite, even if he sensed that she'd rather the heroes just take a break and knock it off with the whole getting beaten up
thing on Christmas. He thanked her as she left and frowned glumly at the bandage covering his forearm.

Then he grabbed his bow and dashed out of the room. The presents!

---

"There's that explosion again."

"Mm-hmm."

"Same guy?"

"Probably. Bet he's out gathering presents or something."

"Well, it IS Christmas."

"Was that the -- oh, rats!"

---

"Weren't you just here?"

Arrow gritted his teeth as the nurse -- the same one, just his luck -- finished taping his ribs. "Busy day," he ground out.

"I guess so. Be careful out there, hmm?"

---

Nene got up and moved to the window. "He's at it again," she said, as the rattle-rattle-rattle of gunfire rang out. "Persistent
bugger." An explosion briefly highlighted her features. "Whoa, nice!"

"What's that, dear?" Ifrit said from the couch.

"Fireworks!"

Sammy poked her head in. "Door?" she said hopefully, then turned and shuffled back down the hall as the others responded "No!"

---

"Look, Mr. Arrow," the nurse said with exasperation in her tone. "This is getting a bit silly. You've been in here SIX TIMES. I don't
care WHAT you're doing out there, if you come back again we're going to sedate you and keep you overnight. Understand me?"

Arrow nodded assent.

"Good." The nurse scowled at him, then shook her head and sighed. She reached out and unwound the bandages covering his jaw, examining the bruises
with brisk professionalism. "You'll be fine in a little while. Merry Christmas, get the hell out, and don't come back!"

---

"Okay," Arrow said to himself as he gathered his strength. "Last time. They're going down this time. Yeah." He nodded firmly.
"You can do this. Ready? Go!"

He sprang out from behind the parked, snow-covered car, a battle-cry ringing from his lips and arrows ready to fly. His faithful (if a little
battered-looking, at this point) gun drone bobbed gently at his shoulder.

The street was empty.

Well, not entirely; two children throwing snowballs at each other stopped their play and looked at him as his shout rang out. Other than that, it was
deserted.

Feeling rather sheepish, Arrow shouldered his bow and began searching the slush pile -- all that remained of several of the snowmen -- for the scattered
presents. He gathered them up and put them back into the bag, counting as he did. "One... two, three... there's four... and -- hah! Five." He
twisted the sack shut and slung it over his shoulder, then glanced at his watch -- in all the hubbub, he'd lost track of the time.

"Ah, crap," he muttered. "I'm late!" He dismissed the gun drone and began a mad dash down the street.

---

Knock. Knock knock. Knock.

"Wait for it, Mum," Alice said, holding up a restraining hand as Ifrit started to rise. Nene nodded agreement and scooted back, clearing the route
between the hallway and the door.

A sudden breeze sprang up in the living room. Magazines on the coffee table fluttered, as did the curtains. Ifrit blinked.

Just once.

"ARROW!" Sammy stood at the now-open door, and a startled-looking, grey-furred catman stood on the other side. He recovered quickly, though, and
smiled down at the excited catgirl, who -- from Ifrit's perspective -- almost appeared to be -vibrating-. There was something odd about him, but she
couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Hiya, Kitten," he said softly, and Ifrit immediately felt some of her concern fade, just from the tone in his voice.

"Come in, come in!" Sammy ushered him in. Greetings were exchanged and soon Arrow was seated with a cup of cocoa in front of him, Neko on one
shoulder, and Sammy next to the other with a huge grin on her face. The conversation was lively and interesting; Neko and Arrow took turns telling embarassing
stories about each other, while Alice and Sammy laughed. It was during one of these that Ifrit noticed Nene suppressing a giggle.

She rose to her feet. "I'm going to go check on dinner," she said by way of explanation as the group looked at her. "Give me a hand,
dear?"

Nene nodded. "Sure!"

Alice started to rise. "I'll come help," she began, but Ifrit waved her back. "No, no, we can handle it. Besides, you need to be here
when Sammy tells her story about when she first met you."

"MUM!" Alice blushed to the roots of her fur. "No way!"

Laughing, Ifrit led the way into the kitchen with Nene trailing behind. The conversation continued in the living room as they finished dinner -- Ifrit doing
the cooking, Nene leaning back against the counter with a fond smile on her face as she made sure to stay out of Ifrit's way.

"So what were you trying not to laugh about out there?" Ifrit wanted to know.

Nene grinned. "Can't hide anything from you, can I?" She chuckled. "I've been a bit worried, you know. About Sammy and this Arrow
character, I mean."

Ifrit glanced at her lover curiously as she garnished the stuffing. "And?"

"Aaaand... I think she could have done worse."

"Oh, but, they're just -friends-," Ifrit noted, deadpan.

"Of course," Nene replied piously. "Friends, and nothing more."

They both burst into laughter.

"What's so funny in here?" Neko wanted to know, pushing through the door and hopping up onto the counter.

"Nothing!" Ifrit replied, giggling again.

Neko looked suspicious -- especially easy for a cat, Ifrit noted.

"Just discussing the nature of friendship," Nene added innocently.

"Rrrright." Neko looked at them and shook her head. "Anyway, Derrick brought presents for everyone, so if you two have a minute..."

---

"I'm sorry about how, um, messed-up they look," Arrow said as he passed out the gifts from his bag. "I had a bit of trouble with snowmen on
the way over here..."

"They're fine," Sammy assured him, giving him a quick hug as he returned to his seat. He blinked, startled, and returned it hesitantly. Alice
snickered. Neko shushed her. Nene and Ifrit giggled. Arrow sighed.

"Go on, open them," he said, when everyone had boxes in their hands. "Kitten... um, Sammy already gave me mine this morning, so I'm all
set." He smiled across the room at Sammy. "It helped me out already," he added, and grinned as she blushed.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught Ifrit mouthing the word 'kitten' to Nene, who for her part looked to be about to die from suppressed
giggle-itis.

"Oh, cool!" Alice held up a bow maintenance kit. "I was just thinking about getting one of these the other day."

"Chocolate!" Nene exclaimed happily. "Chocolate cherries!" The last two words were somewhat muffled as one of the sweet treats leapt into
her mouth. "Mmmmm..."

"This, I suppose, is revenge," Neko said, trying (and failing) to deliver a glare upon him. He grinned down at her. Her gift was one he hadn't
had to buy, but finding a sample of her favorite strain of catnip had been tricky. He wasn't an excellent tracker for nothing, though.

"Revenge?" he said innocently. "Why, whatever could you mean, my lady?"

Neko -- her voice catching in her throat as she began to purr despite herself -- replied, "You know f-f-full well what I m-m-mean, Derrick..."

"Um, Arrow?"

Hm. That wasn't right. Sammy -never- sounded frightened, at least not when he'd known her. Angry, upset, curious, perky, a dozen different things,
sometimes all at once; but never frightened. He turned to her and froze.

Quite literally, actually; the blast of sub-zero doom coated him from nose to tail in ice. He found himself frozen in place, unable to move or speak.

"SNOW BEAST!" Alice yelped, diving over the back of the couch and coming up with bow drawn.

"ARROW!" Sammy yelled. The fear on her face flashed to anger as she whirled on the snowman. "LEAVE. THE CAT. ALONE!" she cried,
extending her claws and leaping onto the snowman's face. Shaved ice began to flurry around the room.

"... oh, you've got to be freaking kidding me," Nene remarked as she rolled over the side of her chair and hurried down the hall. "Hon,
keep it busy while I get changed, would you?"

Ifrit didn't speak at all, but in a burst of flame delicate-looking wings shimmered into view and her clothing changed to hero garb. Moments after, a
searing blowtorch began to carve deep trenches in the snowman.

Alice let fly with a flaming arrow, then a quick flurry of regular ones, then shouted in exasperation, "Sammy! Will you GET OFF THE SNOWMAN so I can
SHOOT HIM!?"

A snarl was the reply, followed by a thump as the enraged Snow Beast shook his head violently and dislodged the furious catgirl, sending her crashing into the
wall. One of his eyes, torn free by her claws, bounced off the ceiling and came to rest on the coffee table, staring balefully at Arrow as if it was all his
fault.

It IS my fault, he thought dazedly. I must have grabbed one of those stupid boxes
instead of my gifts...

"BAD snowman," Sammy hissed, twisting in midair to land on her hands and feet. Behind her on the wall, a framed picture of all of them crashed
heavily to the floor, a webwork of cracks marring the glass where Sammy had slammed into it. "NO MORE MISS NICE KITTY!"

So saying, she lunged forward, diving between the snow beasts legs with arms outstretched. Her fighting claws were at full extension, and they tore through
both legs at where the knee would be, if Snow Beasts had knees. It had the same effect, bringing the monster down to their height with a massive thump that
shook the whole apartment as it crushed the coffee table flat.

"Say g'night, Frosty!" Alice cried, letting an arrow fly. Arrow saw it pass by his head as if in slow motion, the bulky cylinder at the tip
spinning lazily; he recognized it as being similar to the brand he used.

The explosive arrow disappeared into the Snow Beast's head with a soft 'fwup' noise, the fletchings of the arrow protruding from the hole where its
eye had been. Arrow could see them quite clearly; they were, after all, only a few feet from his face. For a moment there was silence.

KABOOM.

---

"Wake up, kitty cats," an electronically-filtered voice said, with obvious amusement. Arrow groaned and opened his eyes, blinking away bits of
ex-snowman. A weight on his chest caused him to pause, and he looked down.

Sammy lay on top of him, sprawled across his chest in a position suggestive of either a football tackle or a last-ditch effort to shield him from the blast.
He raised one hand and brushed her cheek gently; she stirred and slowly opened her eyes.

"mm... hi arrow... you feel good..." She snuggled back down into his chest and closed her eyes again.

Arrow waited. He heard a quiet chuckle and glanced up to see Nene, wearing a suit of red power armor with the helmet tucked under her arm, looking down at
them with a small grin on her face.

Sammy twitched, then jerked upright as if electrified. "YYAAAA!" she cried. "Ohmygosh I'm SOO sorry I didn't mean to I--"

"Kitten?" Arrow put a finger over her lips. "Shush."

"But I --"

"Shush." She hesitated, then nodded. He removed his finger.

"Anyone get the number of that truck?" Alice commented as she pried herself out of an catgirl-shaped hole in the wall.

Nene reached down with one gauntleted hand and helped Arrow to his feet. He nodded thanks and looked around in dismay. The living and dining rooms were
thorougly trashed. Snow and slush filled the room ankle-deep, the couch was in ruin, split in half at the place he'd been sitting, and a pile of wooden
splinters marked where the coffee table had been. The TV on the far wall had taken a glancing blow from... something, he wasn't sure what, and had a large
hole in the screen.

Strangely, Nene's chair had come through almost completely unscathed, except for a bit of frost around the edges.

Plop. A glob of snow detached itself from the ceiling and landed on his shoulder.

"Hon, would you mind?" Nene said, indicating the mess. Ifrit glanced around and nodded, closing her eyes. Arrow raised an eyebrow as the magic in
the room suddenly changed, focused through the oddly beautiful woman with the butterfly wings. The temperature spiked for a moment as the snow and ice burst
into steam, which drifted into the ventilation system in a foggy cloud and left the room damp but snow-free. Ifrit opened her eyes and pursed her lips.

"Whew."

Arrow helped Sammy to her feet and took a deep breath, turning to face Nene and Ifrit squarely.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I've ruined your Christmas. I grabbed the wrong box, earlier." He looked around and shook his
head. "I'll go. I'm... very sorry."

Nene and Ifrit shared a look, then the fey spoke.

"You've only ruined it if you leave," she said gently. "Sammy was very much looking forward to you being here, and so were the rest of us.
As long as you don't run off or something silly like that, well... we'll deal."

"Just remember, mister," Nene put in, shaking a finger in Arrow's direction. "You break it, you bought it!"

"Aunt Nene!" Sammy looked scandalized. She stepped forward and grabbed Arrow's hand. "Please stay," she said quietly, looking
earnestly at him. Her voice was suddenly serious, and she spoke without the rapid-fire inflection and speed which he'd come to associate with her.
"I... I really want you to stay, please?"

He stared into her eyes, then smiled slightly. "Okay."

A cheerful 'ding' erupted from the kitchen. They all jumped, then spent a few moments looking inquiringly at one another before Ifrit snapped her
fingers.

"Dinner!" she exclaimed, darting into the kitchen. A moment later: "It's still okay! Alice, would you set the table? And dear, remember,
no armor at the dinner table!"

Nene chuckled and raised her hands in surrender, heading down the hall to change.

"Sure, Mum!" Alice called out, examining the dining room with a critical eye. "Sammy, give me a hand here? If you lift the end, I can drag the
couch out from under the table, and Derrick can pry the chairs out of the wall..."

---

Later that evening, after dinner had been laid to rest and some semblance of order had been restored to the living room, the group lit a fire and settled in
for some hard-core relaxation. Nene and Ifrit talked quietly while the latter played with the cheerful flames, and Alice vanished for a time on an errand
unknown. Arrow was enjoying a mug of cocoa when Sammy tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention and held up one finger for silence when he turned his
head. Nene spotted the movement and swiftly hid a grin; Ifrit appeared to not have noticed.

He rose silently and padded after the catgirl as she led him down the hall, to a door plainly leading to her bedroom. He quirked an eyebrow at her as she
blushed, but maintained his silence. She beckoned him in and closed the door with a quiet click.

"I want to show you something," she said, her voice remaining quiet and unhurried, so unlike her usual speech patterns that he began to wonder if
she'd taken a blow to the head during the fight. "C'mon," she added, and with a practiced, fluid movement, opened her window and leaped out.

He stuck his head through and looked around.

"Up here, silly," she said, a grin on her face as he craned his neck.

"Alright," he replied, and scrambled through the window himself -- a tighter fit than for her, but by no means difficult. He cleared the edge and
joined her on the sharply-sloped roof, sitting next to her against a warm brick chimney trickling pale woodsmoke into the sky.

For a time they were silent, looking out over the city, the reassuring glow of the War Walls glittering on the snow, with the mooon high above casting a pearly
luminescence over everything.

"I come up here at night sometimes," she said suddenly. "I like looking out over everything, seeing people down below running around like
mice... it's relaxing."

She leaned against his shoulder.

"It's very pretty," he replied.

"I haven't had a ... a friend, in a long time," she said. "Alice is like my sister, and nobody else is left from the old days. And ... I
love her, I do, but she just doesn't understand, sometimes."

Arrow raised an eyebrow, though he knew Sammy couldn't see it, and somehow she sensed his questioning look anyway.

"She used to be a regular girl... I never was. You're like me. It's... hard to explain." Sammy shrugged. "It doesn't matter,
really... but it's easier knowing you -know- what it's like growing up the way we did. Am I making sense?"

Not really, Arrow wanted to say, but instead managed a simple, "Yeah."

"Merry Christmas, Arrow," she said quietly.

"Merry Christmas, Kitten," he replied, and paused as a thought struck him. He brushed his cheek against the top of her head and added, "You can
call me Derrick, if you like."

Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, he could hear it -- but she nodded. "O-okay."

For a moment he thought she was shivering, then the sound reached his ears. Kitten was purring. He smiled and settled back against the warm brick, wrapping
one arm around her shoulders.

Merry Christmas indeed, he thought.

---

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

.....please send the coroner, I am dead from cute.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

Tickle-Me-Thibor doll o_O
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

"Is excuse please, must laugh."
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Product Recall:

The Tickle-Me-Thibor is being recalled. All sales locations are advised to remove this item from the shelves and accept immediate return of product and issue a
full refund with no questions asked.

The defects appear to have been introduced and implemented in the design phases of the product and were not removed prior the production phase.

1.) Excessive force used in rubbing the doll's belly will cause the doll to deliver a headbut to the child. Padding on the head of the doll is not
sufficient to protect the doll or the child from injury.

2.) While squeezing the right hand will cause the doll to speak 'safe' Thibor-isms. Squeezing the left hand will cause it to use language that is at
best described as offensive, and at worse described as 'Capable of scarring a tender young psyche for life, starting wars and knocking a buzzard off a
dung-cart.'

3.) Squeezing the groin causes the doll to say. "Is putting me down Michael Jackson."

4.) The dolls were not supposed to be anatomically correct.

5.) Or have three speeds.

Finally, it should be noted that neither Major Sawchyk or IST sanctioned the production of these dolls and have requested that all profits realized from their
sale and the licensing fees from the corresponding 'Thibor's Doghouse" Saturday morning cartoon, be donated to the Paragon Animal Shelter.

N. Yoshida.

Tickle Me Thibor Enterprises.

It could be worse, y'know. The first draft had it as the Tickle-Me-Superball doll, but during edit I decided that
there are some places even I am not willing to go.

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

sammy is the most insanly cute cat girl i've ever seen, but don't think she should meet Gir.

Dang... Where's my insulin! I'm going into sugar overload from teh cuteness!

Really really well done, you guys. ^_^