05-19-2009, 01:15 AM
The monorail vibrated as it passed over the tracks in King's Row; the tram was crowded. Still, there was a small space that grew larger as two new figures
ambled onto the tram. They were trolls. The green skin was a dead giveaway; but this pair would have been distinct even without their Kermit hue. Trolls on the
tram were not in and of themselves illegal; but they still made people nervous.
" 'Ello me fine buncha Charlies." The first troll said in a jaunty Cockney accent. "Now the lot of you know that it is illegal to beg on the
tram. No penny for the Guy and well on too. You can't play the guitar and pass the hat." He took off his fine black bowler hat and waggled it.
"But fear not, for me mate and me have an altogether different proposition and right by the bobbies proposition. We aren't asking for money to play.
But you can drop us a pound or two to make us stop. Now, to this end, Chuckles, the Hollows Impresario presents me musical mate, take it away Gruntado!"
The second troll stepped forward and shot the cuffs of his natty, albeit somewhat ratty, tuxedo. With a showman's flair he reached into an inside pocked
and produced a pair of kazoos. He flourished them as if he had done an impressive magic trick. With no further ado, he jammed one into each flaring nostril and
blew a testing, nasal note.
A strange, buzzing, rendition of The Entertainer filled the tram. As he buzzed, Gruntado reached out a hand which Chuckles filled with an open can of beans.
The music hiccoughed as Gruntardo downed the can in one gulp; following it with a handful of Brussels sprouts and a whole head of cauliflower.
The crowd began to stir uneasily. The fear only began to show when Gruntado produced an extra-large tin of Bisto Instant Gravy granules and a battered tin
spoon. The can was emptied in a series of swallows. Gruntado continued to buzz through his song, but now his face took on a new look. The look of one
contemplating an idea, a terrible idea. With a deliberate, dramatic flourish, he raised his hand and pointed a long, knuckled finger to Chuckles, the gesture
being distinct. It spoke not a volume, but three simple, frightening words. Pull My Finger.
The crowd froze. Unsure whether to reach for their wallet or to somehow unseal the windows of the tram. Chuckles doffed his hat, waggled his eyebrows and
offered the hat around. Bills began to appear in hands. The had began to fill. Gruntado's sound suddenly took on a panicked expression.
"It's too much Chuckles!" He intoned nasally between notes of the song. "I told you the gravy was too much!"
"Oh bugger. He's going to blow. Point the other way Gruntado. For the love of 'er majesty and every corgi in the commons! Point the other
way!"
Gruntado tried to turn away from his boss, the movement of his legs was too much and his control slipped away. Then it roared away with a sound that was
somewhere between an aardvark being strangled and two gorillas tearing twenty-three feet of linen in half the long way. A short, teenaged girl, with a shock of
dark blue hair, rose and gestured. The ugly green vapor that was gathering around Gruntado's trousers was stopped and then contained as a whirlwind swept
around the trolls, slamming them together. There was a ding as the tram reached the first Atlas station, and as the door was opened, a second burst of wind
threw the trolls bodily from the tram. There was a spattering of applause as the girl looked around embarrassed at the attention.
"Hey, haven't I seen you at school," a lithely muscular blonde teen asked the blue-haired girl. I'm Raye. "Do you have a few minutes to
talk. I think I know some people you should meet."
"Um, sure." The girl said through a rising brush. "Oh! And I'm Sue. Sue Nammy."
ambled onto the tram. They were trolls. The green skin was a dead giveaway; but this pair would have been distinct even without their Kermit hue. Trolls on the
tram were not in and of themselves illegal; but they still made people nervous.
" 'Ello me fine buncha Charlies." The first troll said in a jaunty Cockney accent. "Now the lot of you know that it is illegal to beg on the
tram. No penny for the Guy and well on too. You can't play the guitar and pass the hat." He took off his fine black bowler hat and waggled it.
"But fear not, for me mate and me have an altogether different proposition and right by the bobbies proposition. We aren't asking for money to play.
But you can drop us a pound or two to make us stop. Now, to this end, Chuckles, the Hollows Impresario presents me musical mate, take it away Gruntado!"
The second troll stepped forward and shot the cuffs of his natty, albeit somewhat ratty, tuxedo. With a showman's flair he reached into an inside pocked
and produced a pair of kazoos. He flourished them as if he had done an impressive magic trick. With no further ado, he jammed one into each flaring nostril and
blew a testing, nasal note.
A strange, buzzing, rendition of The Entertainer filled the tram. As he buzzed, Gruntado reached out a hand which Chuckles filled with an open can of beans.
The music hiccoughed as Gruntardo downed the can in one gulp; following it with a handful of Brussels sprouts and a whole head of cauliflower.
The crowd began to stir uneasily. The fear only began to show when Gruntado produced an extra-large tin of Bisto Instant Gravy granules and a battered tin
spoon. The can was emptied in a series of swallows. Gruntado continued to buzz through his song, but now his face took on a new look. The look of one
contemplating an idea, a terrible idea. With a deliberate, dramatic flourish, he raised his hand and pointed a long, knuckled finger to Chuckles, the gesture
being distinct. It spoke not a volume, but three simple, frightening words. Pull My Finger.
The crowd froze. Unsure whether to reach for their wallet or to somehow unseal the windows of the tram. Chuckles doffed his hat, waggled his eyebrows and
offered the hat around. Bills began to appear in hands. The had began to fill. Gruntado's sound suddenly took on a panicked expression.
"It's too much Chuckles!" He intoned nasally between notes of the song. "I told you the gravy was too much!"
"Oh bugger. He's going to blow. Point the other way Gruntado. For the love of 'er majesty and every corgi in the commons! Point the other
way!"
Gruntado tried to turn away from his boss, the movement of his legs was too much and his control slipped away. Then it roared away with a sound that was
somewhere between an aardvark being strangled and two gorillas tearing twenty-three feet of linen in half the long way. A short, teenaged girl, with a shock of
dark blue hair, rose and gestured. The ugly green vapor that was gathering around Gruntado's trousers was stopped and then contained as a whirlwind swept
around the trolls, slamming them together. There was a ding as the tram reached the first Atlas station, and as the door was opened, a second burst of wind
threw the trolls bodily from the tram. There was a spattering of applause as the girl looked around embarrassed at the attention.
"Hey, haven't I seen you at school," a lithely muscular blonde teen asked the blue-haired girl. I'm Raye. "Do you have a few minutes to
talk. I think I know some people you should meet."
"Um, sure." The girl said through a rising brush. "Oh! And I'm Sue. Sue Nammy."