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Reynold Hughes

I've been writing stories about the Asesino of Fire, his brothers & sisters, and their 'mother' for years. No one showed any real interest in them til Marvel came across them a few years back. Since most everyone in the Legendary knows how that turned out, I've turned to doing something a little... well, different with Fire. There are two things I'm working on with him: One is a movie script about how he arrives on Earth, setting the story for Fire, his enemies, and even his friends - all leading up to his death. The second is a novel I'm working on, which focuses on Fire's friends and how they're all changed after his death; it also brings in the 'other' Tabbies, like Hellfire and Terror. I plan on posting snippets of each on the forum for feedback of sorts, if you all don't mind.
What I'm posting now is called a 'Movie Map'. It goes over the three acts of a movie, focusing on major points of it also. This is an edited version of the map I handed in for class, since that was originally limited to two pages. This got to about.. 2 and three quarters of a page; So yes. There will be a bunch of text.
Um.  Maybe I'm just oblivious?  But I have *no clue* what you're referring to with your comment about "how that turned out".
As for the text... I can't say the treatment here intrigues me, exactly, but it's interesting, at least.  If you're looking for critique, there's a lot of grammar errors and word choice errors in here, which I can only surmise would come back to bite you if your intent is to submit this commercially and/or professionally.
If you're just looking for gut reactions... I'm shrugging positively?  I dunno.  There isn't anything in here that hooks *me*, but that could easily just be me; I'm interested, but mostly in the "okay, show me something with some meat on it and I might like it" sense.

--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

Reynold Hughes

Well, the big thing with a movie map is that it isn't supposed to mainly be a 'hook'. Few people besides me and maybe the director would see this. It's basically a plot outline when you sit to write down a story. The only thing, if I were to show this off to someone in Holly/Bollywood, would see, is the Premise.
I don't mind people editing or pointing out flaws, however. I'd like to see where I made mistakes so I can try to avoid them later on.
Quote:Um. Maybe I'm just oblivious? But I have *no clue* what you're referring to with your comment about "how that turned out".
Likewise, I had no idea that you'd had any communications with Marvel about your work. Please inform us.
-- Bob
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Quote:Sofaspud wrote:

Um.  Maybe I'm just oblivious?  But I have *no clue* what you're referring to with your comment about "how that turned out".
I'm certain our colleague will be able to inform you personally, in more detail, but from what I was told, it can be basically summarised as this:-
Marvel talk to Tabby. Tabby happy. Then Disney buy Marvel. Marvel no talk anymore because Mouse does not like cat.
Tabby not happy. 
-- Acyl

Reynold Hughes

Phew! Been busy, mostly with side projects (including this).

The first 10-15 pages were due in my class about two weeks ago. On the day they're due, students apply for roles and we have a giant table read - with the writer listening only on that day. I was, in all honesty, surprised by the positive reaction I received from everyone in the class; there were a few changes they suggested, which I've already made. I'll be posting that revised part of the script here for you guys, with a few notes:
-The formatting is odd. If you've never read a movie script, it's designed this way so that one page of script comes out to be one minute of time on the screen. The premise is basically a short-sell of the script to get people interested. Usually with a script, a list of parts is attached, but I didn't have to do that.
-The movie starts off running. I struggled with how to open it, starting with both Vanguard and Vandal; then with Fire crashing into Manhattan; then with Fire receiving his mission; and finally with our current incarnation. A lot of my fellow students and professor mentioned that it made the movie much stronger than the original opening I had.
-If there are parts that just seem to never be touched again, it's because this is the first 14 minutes of the movie - there's 106 minutes left for me to reveal things.
-...It's also the first story in a series of events; so don't be surprised if, when I'm finished, you never find out what Ginger looks like underneath her mask, or why Christina and Fire are drawn to each other, or even what Wrath has in store for our heroes.

So, without further ado, I present HAVEN!
...After I find out how to add attachments!

Well... Here's a media fire link for a zip: http://www.mediafire.com/?do1s0p760ajdy6n
I put both an .odt and .doc into it... and in a zip so you guys don't have to worry if I'm loading a .exe to you. Feel free to read!