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Sirrocco

I was letting my radio hang out at the local country station, and both of these hit me in pretty quick succession as songs with some potential.

"I Ain't As Good As I Once Was" by Toby Keith
She said 'I've seen you in here before'
I said 'I've been here a time or two'
She said 'Hello, my name is Bobby Jo
Meet my twin sister Betty Lou
And we're both feeling kinda wild tonight
And you're the only cowboy in this place
And if you're up for a rodeo
We'll put a big Texas smile on your face'
I said 'Girls,'
[CHORUS:]
I ain't as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
But there was a time back in my prime
When I could really lay it down
And if you need some love tonight
Then I might have just enough
I ain't as good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was
I still hang out with my best friend Dave
I've known him since we were kids at school
Last night he had a few shots
Got in a tight spot hustlin' a game of pool
With a couple of readneck boys
One great big bad biker man
I heard David yell across the room
'Hey buddy, how 'bout a helping hand.'
I said 'Dave,'
[CHORUS:]
I ain't as good as I once was
My how the years have flown
But there was a time back in my prime
When I could really hold my own
But if you wanna fight tonight
Guess thouse boys dont look all that tough
I ain't as good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was
I used to be Hell on wheels
Back when I was younger man
Now my body says 'You can't do this boy'
But my pride says 'Oh, yes you can.'
I ain't as good as I once was
Thats just the cold hard truth
I still throw a few back, talk a little smack
When I'm feelin' bullet proof
So don't double dog dare me now
'Cause I'd have to call your bluff
I ain't as good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was
Maybe not be good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was

The rhyme structure is a bit mangled, mostly by trying to rhyme "was" with itself, but I like it for a power song anyway. For the duration of the song, it gives Doug as much speed, strength, stamina, and durability as he wants or needs, absolutely free. At the end of the song, he pays for it all. You do not want to play around with this song and duration enhancers. There's also one of those little side-effects. Playing this song makes Doug feel *pumped* - and even though he *knows* what it'll be like after the crash, in the heat of the moment he finds it difficult to care.

"If Bubba Can Dance" by Shenandoah

Well he saw it on TV and ordered that video
He learned every step at home and never told me so
When I saw him out there the very first time I knew
Well if Bubba can dance I can too
Chorus
Yeah now Bubba can scoot, Bubba can slide
Bubba can two-step, Bubba can glide
I never though he had the nerve, he never said a word
Well everybody in the place stand back and give me some room
Cause if Bubba can dance I can too
Well I've been watching all night and I'm working my courage up
Hey that dude's on the floor and he's doin' all the latest stuff
Well if he's brave enough then I know what I gotta do
Hey if Bubba can dance, I can too
chorus
Well if Bubba can dance I can too (repeat, then solo)
Doug begins dancing. Shortly thereafter, everyone around him begins to dance, not through some compulsion, but out of a deep and abiding unwillingness to let Doug show them up by dancing when they're too chicken to do it themselves, or to let him claim superiority over them in dancing ability without at least putting up a fight for it. This functions regardless of the degree of rationalization necessary to get there. It is trivial, at that point, for any of the subjects (including doug) to turn the whole thing into a dance-off with any of the other subjects (including Doug). Actually, having this *not* happen, if only on an implied level, pretty much requires *everyone* involved deliberately avoiding it. It also imparts (to Doug) a basic understanding of all of the more popular local dances for the duration.
Erm.
I'm going to have to listen to these first before I offer any judgment.
-- Bob
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...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...