Drunkard's Walk Forums

Well, here's one for the "Not allowed under Bob's rules but wish it was" category...
Imagine a universe along the Walk where Doug discovers a Weird Al parody of a particular tune by Queen....
(Weird Al doing Freddy Mercury? The mind boggles. I can't imagine what it would look like, but I know I'd pay money to see it)
Here I am
I'm the master of your pastries.
Fire up your oven
It's my appetite you'll feed.

CHORUS:
Yes, I'm the one
The only one
Bakery critic of kingdom come--
GIMME THE PIES!!
JUST GIMME THE PIES!



"I've got something to say -- it's better to eat out, than to waste away!"
:

Just keep yours cakes
Or I'll crush them in my hands.
Your dainty blintzes
You just leave them in the pans.


...and so on.
The original tune is "Gimme the Prize (Kurgan's Theme)" from the "Highlander" OST (There IS only one!).

As for what Doug's metatalent would do with this song... well, *I'd* say that it's blindingly obvious. Unless Doug has some kind of extreme dislike for Three Stooges movies or something....
Originally, I had wanted to cross-tie this in with all those full-page ads in Marvel comics during the 70s and 80s where the Hero(ine), helpless against the Villain's newest plot, is saved by the timely arrival of a shipment of Hostess pies (and cakes), which distract said villain so much (s/he's busy *eating,* and just can't stop) that the Hero(ine) is able to save the day without much effort. But I decided I was stretching things a bit as it was.
And, sadly, there's probably no chance of Doug doing a Neo and asking
for "Pies. Lots of pies," while infinite racks of baked goods appear out of the vanishing point. Too bad.

Actually, I can pretty easily imagine that - the big afro and yellow (mostly) Hawaiian print shirt and all. Clearly this would be the same record as a reprise of the polka version of Bohemian Rhapsody and Ponces of the Universe[] (Born to be flamers, ponces of the universe...)
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

"...I am a mortal,
I have inside me bloody things..."
There are many ways to parody this song... I like the "pies" idea, but there has to be a better song for it somewhere...
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

Quote:

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There are many ways to parody this song... I like the "pies" idea, but there has to be a better song for it somewhere...

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There is, of course, the Bob Dylan song "Country Pie"
www.bobdylan.com/songs/countrypie.html
Just like old Saxophone Joe
When he's got the hogshead up on his toe
Oh me, oh my
Love that country pie
Listen to the fiddler play
When he's playin' 'til the break of day
Oh me, oh my
Love that country pie
Raspberry, strawberry, lemon and lime
What do I care?
Blueberry, apple, cherry, pumpkin and plum
Call me for dinner, honey, I'll be there
Saddle me up my big white goose
Tie me on 'er and turn her loose
Oh me, oh my
Love that country pie
I don't need much and that ain't no lie
Ain't runnin' any race
Give to me my country pie
I won't throw it up in anybody's face
Shake me up that old peach tree
Little Jack Horner's got nothin' on me
Oh me, oh my
Love that country pie

Quote:

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There is, of course, the Bob Dylan song "Country Pie"

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Which I quite like, and yeah, perfect for a pie fight.
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

Speaking of pies, what about the old classic "American Pie"? It sounds kind of dangerous, dwelling as often as it does on a line like "the day the music died". Especially since the music doesn't come back- the Trinity itself doesn't fix it!
If taken literally, would this be like a permanent version of "Bulletproof
(Or, if interpreted, like the below site does, would it be like "We Didn't Start The Fire", but for mid-20th century music?)Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...

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My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

My interpretation would be that it's like "Bulletproof" but lasts a full 24 hours, but honestly that song always just irritated me, so I wouldn't have had it in the running for a Doug-Power-Song. it takes good stuff to get his mojo risin', after all.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

I haven't decided what "American Pie" does. I'm torn between a history playback a la "We Didn't Start The Fire", albeit cloaked and metaphoric, and another "Wand of Wonder" kind of song...
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...