Drunkard's Walk Forums

Flobots: No Handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

No handlebars

No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

No handlebars

No handlebars

Look at me, look at me

hands in the air like it's good to be

ALIVE

and I'm a famous rapper

even when the paths're all crookedy

I can show you how to do-si-do

I can show you how to scratch a record

I can take apart the remote control

And I can almost put it back together

I can tie a knot in a cherry stem

I can tell you about Leif Ericson

I know all the words to "De Colores"

And "I'm Proud to be an American"

Me and my friend saw a platypus

Me and my friend made a comic book

And guess how long it took

I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome

No metronome

No metronome

I can see your face on the telephone

On the telephone

On the telephone

Look at me

Look at me

Just called to say that it's good to be

ALIVE

In such a small world

All curled up with a book to read

I can make money open up a thrift store

I can make a living off a magazine

I can design an engine sixty four

Miles to a gallon of gasoline

I can make new antibiotics

I can make computers survive aquatic conditions

I know how to run a business

And I can make you wanna buy a product

Movers shakers and producers

Me and my friends understand the future

I see the strings that control the systems

I can do anything with no assistance

I can lead a nation with a microphone

With a microphone

With a microphone

I can split the atoms of a molecule

Of a molecule

Of a molecule

Look at me

Look at me

Driving and I won't stop

And it feels so good to be

Alive and on top

My reach is global

My tower secure

My cause is noble

My power is pure

I can hand out a million vaccinations

Or let'em all die in exasperation

Have'em all grilled leavin lacerations

Have'em all killed by assassination

I can make anybody go to prison

Just because I don't like'em and

I can do anything with no permission

I have it all under my command

I can guide a missile by satellite

By satellite

By satellite

and I can hit a target through a telescope

Through a telescope

Through a telescope

and I can end the planet in a holocaust

In a holocaust

In a holocaust

In a holocaust

In a holocaust

In a holocaust

In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

No handle bars

No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

No handlebars

No handlebars

Given the fact that this guy can do anything, even patently absurd things, this may be a powerful reality control song. Alternately, it may allow him to make
absurd braggart claims (like the guy from the Dilbert comic strip who always one-ups everybody else) and force people to believe them.
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"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV

Wow. That's a spooky song in its own way. While both effects you suggest are justified by the lyrics, I'd be inclined to go with the first, since I
feel the tone of the piece doesn't really justify the borderline-comedic sense of the second.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

If Doug ever encouters the song and it does have the implied reality control effect, he could be very wary of using it except in extreme circumstances due to
mental side effects (otherwise it'd be so useful that he'd soon be using it practically daily). After all, the saying is that power corrupts with
absolute power corrupting absolutely, and the feel of the song is one of initial optimism with rapidly increasing megalomania. Doug may start using the song
with the best of intentions, but could well end it in the mindset of a deranged Dark Messiah. That would get the song immediately slapped under a ton of
security lockouts and only utilized during doomsday scenerios when there is no other hope for success.
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"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV

<nod>
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.