Another few scenes from Fetish? What's a Fetish? -
http://www.fanfiction.net...4/1/Fetish_Whats_A_Fetish
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The copy ninja rubbed the spot on his arm, "You know, Naruto, when you asked me what Hinata might want from you for her birthday, and I said sex, it
was mostly a joke. I thought you would get it, and we'd just have a quick laugh."
"See? 'Mostly' a joke. That means that you think a part of her does want me to give her sex. I mean, I don't want to get her a crappy
present she doesn't want. She's always so nice to everybody, so I should get her something really good!" Naruto pumped a fist into the air,
"Besides, I bet Lee my gift would be better, so I need to give her the best thing I can think of!"
"Well, you would definitely win that bet
if...ugh, wait! Naruto, no! I was just kidding, so let it go."
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Shikamaru Nara spotted his two friends, and hurried up to them from behind only to hear Naruto say, "I'm never gonna leave you alone if you don't
tell me where to get some sex!" He quickly wheeled around, and made off in the opposite direction. That was a little too troublesome to become a part of.
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Question: What is sex? Answers received:
Old lady selling umbrellas on the street: "Sex is a dirty, dirty thing that you must never, ever do! You'll get diseases!"
Information obtained: Sex is an activity, and will result in sickness.
Mr. Ichiraku: "What? Is that why you keep coming here? Naruto, if you ever so much as touch Ayame, I'll cut off your hands and any other appendages
that may or may not have touched her! Do you understand?"
Information obtained: Sex involves touching, and makes men very, very mad. It would appear to involve a girl, because Mr. Ichiraku didn't seem
concerned for himself, at all.
Ayame, about five seconds later: "Hey, leave him alone! Naruto, sex is what a man and a woman do when they love each other. They...uh...well, they kind
of...get naked and, uh...start bouncing around...do you understand? Oh, forget it, just get out of here before I get mad!"
Information obtained: Sex definitely involves girls, possibly one girl and one boy at a time. You must be naked to do sex, it sounded. Then you bounce
around, thus engaging in the sex. Love may have something to do with it, but that sounded like a joke. It seemed to make women mad, too.
Kurenai: "Sex is how women say sorry after making a mistake. Sex is also how men prove they are the weaker sex. Over and over again..." She
sighed, walking away while muttering to herself and shaking her head.
Information obtained: The sex is used as an apology, and makes women stronger than men. Over and over again.
Iruka: "Where the hell did that come from? Uh...well, you see...sex is a special thing that a man and a woman do when they are deep in love, and want
to express their love for one another. Uh...you should probably get married before having sex, but you don't have to. Oh, also, make sure you wear
protection, Naruto! ...Yeah, I know you have to be naked to do sex, but...did you just say 'do sex'?"
Information obtained: You need to wear protective gear to do sex. How is that possible if you have to be naked, though? The sex sounds like a real
confusing mess, so far.
Anko: "Ha, ha, you really want to know? How about you come home with me and I'll show you?"
Information obtained: DO NOT go to Anko's house. She'll get naked and is hard to get away from. ...Chains and whips, apparently, play a role in
the dangerous activity known as the sex.
Gai: "Sex is the most youthful of all youthful things! Youthful young girls are like beautiful lotus blossoms, and it is the job of youthful young men
to un-blossom them! To spread the seeds of youth for the future generations to grow, and be even more youthful! It is a cycle, Naruto, a cycle of
youth."
Information obtained: Gai either has some really good weed, or some really bad crack.
Tsunade: "Ha! Ha, ha, ha...That is probably the funniest thing I have ever heard! Ha, ha...Oh, God, my stomach, ow...It's also kinda sad.
You're getting pretty old. Ask Shizune, she'll tell you."
Information obtained: It's sad that I don't know what the sex is.
Shizune: "Well, sex is how babies are made. Moms and dads, when they decide they're ready, have sex so that the woman gets pregnant, and haves the
baby nine months later. ...You don't know how to have sex? ...Uh...I have a...thing I need to go do. Right now, see ya!"
Information obtained: Babies are made because of the sex. Not sure how that happens, but ok. Maybe it's one of the diseases that the old lady
mentioned that causes women to get pregnant? That was a disease he seriously didn't want to get. The risk for men must be low, because he had never seen a
pregnant man. Lastly, Shizune runs really, really fast.
Genma: "How Shizune vents. ...Dammit, forget I said that! No, really, forget about that, seriously! Here, money for lunch, my treat. Please, don't
repeat that, ever!"
Information obtained: The sex is used to vent. Also, it is a good way to get free things. Like lunch! Altering question to test this theory.
Question: How much does sex cost? Answer received:
Asuma: "Depends on the girl. Some want a forty dollar date, others want a trip to some islands, or something. Thing is, sex never comes free.
There's always some kind of strings attached to it, she always wants something. That's a pretty good question to be asking so young, kid, I'm
impressed."
Information obtained: Girls do the sex with people because they want something. I wonder if guys do that, too? Maybe I could do the sex
with a girl so she buys me ramen... But how can you give the sex to someone for a present if they only do it with you if they want something from you? The sex
is full of messed up logic
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Kakashi nodded a little, reaching into his ninja gear bag and pulling out a tape, which he handed to Naruto, "I figured it would come to this, so I was
prepared. That will explain everything. That's all I'm going to say."
"'Night of the Ninja, the Second Coming'?" Naruto read the title aloud, wondering why the box for it was completely black. No pictures or
description or anything.
"Uh-huh. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a lot of avoiding you to do now, so I'll be leaving,"
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