Drunkard's Walk Forums

Classicdrogn had a fic
E I E I O
While sorting notes he worote a scene
E I E I O
A scenelet here
And a fragment there
Here a line
There a scene
Everywhere a grammar clean...

Naruto-writing season is here again, it seems, and I split out my jumbled notes, guest-written segments, and message board saves for Team Explosive Youth into separate text files for each chapter... Some of them are suprisingly large. (15-20kb! Of course, this post is 11kb...) Naturally, this inspired quite a few scenelets as I fillied in gaps and such. Here's a couple of the most interesting, just to prove that this thing is not yet an ex-parrot:

First, from the Wave mission, where TXY subdued Zabusa with the Puppy-Dog Eyes kinjutsu, a scrap from the revised final confrontation:
Gatou: "Zabusa you bastard! Do you know how much money you've cost me!? Hiring a full team from Hidden Rain just to punish you and do the job you were hired for... even a devil is supposed to keep a contract! Heheheh... Of course, you were never going to get paid as I said, only in the steel blades of my men; perhaps you figured that out!"
Z: "Your history hiring nukenin and then disposing of them isn't unknown, it's true... You just never dared to reach as high as me. The only reason I accepted your offer in the first place... was that it seemed like it might be fun to kill your whole army when you tried the doublecross!"
Gatou's mocking sneer turned into a mask of rage, flushed red enough to make a try for the grimacing visage of a devil himself. "I'll show you that you can't just do as you please... Even one of the Mist's Seven Swords! You see... This ninja, has an even more legendary sword! Aoi! Kill these bastards and bring me their heads!"
At this, the leader of his cloaked squad looked up, face no longer hidden below the wide woven hat. His mouth was curled into a smile, but the cruel set of the blue-green eyes above was as cold and flat as the treacherous still water in the lee of an iceberg.

And then, Hinata uses the Ancient Leaf Passive-Agressive Style Final Technique, sacrificing a battle that has no meaning to her for an ultimate gain, in a flashback when Team Eight is sent on the Jump Festa 2004 mission to Hidden Waterfall... Which incidentally works much better in terms of staying in character, let alone continuity, with them instead of Team 7, at least once I give the kunoichi team mate a role in the final takedown.

Hinata asks Neji to help her train, because her father is too busy with Hanabi
Neji declaims about her destiny of weakness
Hinata bows deeply. "N-neji-niisan, perhaps it's true that... That I can't change enough t-to be a strong ninja... But ... I will not lose to my rival ... I can become that strong, at least! I b-beg you ... to help me become that strong!"
N: "For the heiress of the Main House, to bow and beg before a member of the Branch, truly you are a shameful person."
Hinata: "F-f-for the person I admire... I can do ... Even this..."
She kneels and bows to the ground. "Ano... I-I beg you, help me to change just that much, brother..."
Neji felt the cold certainty of his hatred for the Main House crack. *Was such a thing not what I dreamed of, to see the one who is weak, yet destined to high status by birth, humbled before me, who has talent but is chained to a fate of servitude?* It was his ultimate victory, so why did it seem like ashes in his mouth? Scowl deepening, he snapped, "Stand up, Hinata-sama... Even a failiure of the Hyuuga should not bow to anyone."
H: "I beg of you!"
N: "Stand, and take the Jyuuken's first stance. Even if your destiny is failiure, mine is still to serve the wish of the Main House. I will help you as you ask, untill you accept your destiny."
Hinata stood, and even his cynical heart couldn't feel contempt at the warmth in her pearly eyes, as he knew he should at the sight of such weakness. "Thank you, Neji-niisan. I kn-know that you ... W-won't fail to h-help me."

Later, just before sealing Stupid's tenketsu so he cooks himself with the Hero Water increased chakra:
"Neji-niisan..." she whispered to herself, "I have not accepted... a d-destiny of failiure." Then, louder, "A h-hero... is the one who w-will accept any pain for their im-important people. I w-won't let you look down on (Fraidycat-san)!"

This, it seems to me, turns the episode from a blandly pointless filler with post-Exam Naruto, mid-Exam Sakura, and pre-Exam Sasuke all at once into a Hinata character piece. Fraidycat-san, after all, seems a much better fit for drawing (granted, exaggerated) parrallels to her than Naruto, especially TXY Naruto.

And, I've slowly ground ahead on the home stretch of Search For Gero Sennin, I just have to get through the last three or four scenes - and having re-watched the Snow Princess movie paying special attention to the armors, I have a fair idea of how to run that. Further... sweet kami, that movie is just TAILOR MADE for messages about the Springtime of Youth, right down to the end scene where the giant holographic projection of Chibi-Yuki melts all the snow and brings a flowery meadow complete with butterflies into being by amplifying the warmth of the springtime of youth in a young girl's pure heart. YOSH! YUKI-HIME'S SPRINGTIME HAS BLOSSOMED AT LAST!! HER YOUTHFUL SPIRIT BRINGS WARMTH TO ALL OF SNOW COUNTRY!

Snippet from what I just finished there:
"Oh, you found a good turtle!" Gai enthused, leaning over to look closely. "Kamehorai, this is my daughter, Rikou, who has just learned to summon you! Tea-time is later, but for now please treat her kindly!"
"Ha-i a-ni-ki!" the tiny turtle sing-songed, more steam curling away lazily as Jiraya's jaw dropped lower and lower in shock and disbelief that anyone would call a summon that obviously young and weak useful. "Bye-bye, den!"
Naruto's not-quite-frog waved one chubby forepaw at her, before poofing away as well. Undismayed, the boy mustered as much energy as he could manage and struggled to his feet, asking, "So, so, what makes that turtle good? Kamehorai, right? Does she breathe a huge jet of steam to blow away enemies like a super Murasu no jutsu?"
At this, Gai laughed heartily, then accidentally flattened the blond with a cheerful slap on the shoulder. "Maybe someday, but for now she can produce a stream of fresh, boiling hot water for tea or instant noodles. You see, Kamehorai is a baby hot-springs turtle. She's super-handy when you can't light a fire to cook on a mission!"
Rikou nodded dutifully, but Naruto's eyes had gone all huge and sparkly at the thought. "You... you mean, Kamehorai-chan can... make ramen... anywhere... AT ANY TIME? AH, THAT'S TOTALLY THE GREATEST NINJUTSU EVER! STUPID ERO-SENNIN! I WANNA SUMMON TURTLES TOO!!"

For wider issues - Valles, is TGNH definitely dead? If so, I'll split off a bit more to conform to the current manga backstory reveals - though I quite like the idea of Yondaime being a rebel Mitarashi as previously proposed, so that much I may keep by author fiat. If it turns out he was supposed to have some yet-unseen kekkai genkai... Meh. It's not like I won't have changed enough othe stuff just because I didn't like it, such as, oh, killing Orochimaru early and not having Sasuke defect just because that dragged-out plot pissed me off. (insert Hoshigake-worthy grin here). Unless it's important to the canon plot in ays too difficult to replace, I'll ignore canon entirely Wrt Naruto's parentage, though having Yondaime's wife from Whirlpool instead of Mist doesn't seem like too much of a stretch. Thoughts?
Also, were you going to write a Neshan-vs.-Kabuto fight for the repulsed invasion, or should I just crib from N vs. Jigoku-no-Sakura (minus the Heavenly Gate bound jutsu and Shunshin) and Kabuto vs. Shizune/Tsunade?
For that matter, Shikenenai was going to be with him on that, and possibly Haruno Ichimaru (Sakura's eldest brother, ANBU jonin/squad leader, can do jutsu motionless/silent or two similtaneously due to Inner Ichimaru sealing, has a cat mask) for additional support - Drakensis, anything to add? Nobegami being at the chuunin/high chuunin level, I imagine he cant pull off the same kind of freaky Jonin-plus stuff the Akatsuki paper-user does, but anything Yomiko Readman might do should be fair game, right?
Whoa, now there's a crossover image - the Royal British Library group vs. the rouge I-jin known as Akatsuki...

Griever: I added a tag-end to the scene you provided for a Chuunin Finals intermission, with Katsu, Mako, and Zabusa. To whit:
(snippage)
"Ah," Katsu smiled, this time over the rim of the hitai-ite latch. "But I want her to survive and _win_."
"... We'll see what happens. The Leaf Council is still arguing about me... but a few tips couldn't hurt."
The young medic-nin poked her head in behind them then to say, "Please forgive the intrusion, but it's time for Mina's match, Sensei."
"Ah? How did the Nara's match end?"
"He eventually maneuvered that Sand girl into a position where he could catch her by suprise with the same shadow jutsu he used on me in the preliminaries and had her under control... then he forfeited, because he was out of stamina."
"Hmm. Analysis?"
"If he'd had a team with him, she'd have been finished." Ami replied. She'd obviously been thinking it over already - as he'd expect of her. "If she'd pushed an agressive assault from the beginning instead of trying for a psychological edge, or hadn't hesitated when he pulled back to think, she could have won it. If I was going to fight him again, heavy Kirigakure so there aren't any shadows to use, then don't give him time to strategise. I carry lots of extra senbon and train enough in reduced visibility conditions to compensate, but the shadow thing seems to be his only advanced technique."
Katsu simply nodded before concluding the conversation, "I suppose Mina wouldn't forgive me if I missed her bout, so let's get back to the stands. Are you sure you don't want to cover back up, Mako?"
"Anyone who pays attention will know who I am as soon as my name is announced, and we knew I'd probably need to stop witholding my ninjutsu for the finals anyway. Besides, if some fluffy Leaf kunoichi tries to put me in a headlock this time, I don't want to have to bite through the bandages. Do you know how annoying it is trying to pick gauze out of teeth this sharp?"
"I hear that," Zabusa commented, before growling at the looks he got in reply. "Just because mine are filed instead of hereditary, you think these bandages don't get caught? It's a valuable edge literally and for intimidation, but any technique has limits."
---=- + -=---

Comments? Revisions? Mako's match would have been with Usagi, but Naruto/Gaara comes first and the invasion kicks off early during it. When Serenity-Usa pulls out Hijutsu: (full moon shines through the gate) no Jutsu she goes very pale and mutters, "I was going to fight... THAT?" Oh, and for the prelims she had only her personal name entered to appear on the scoreboard for matches, but for the finals tournement they want the full thing for the benefit of visiting noteables as well as the promotion board.
I do realise tZabusa's comment rather breaks the mood, but that is in fact intentional on his part - he's a master of psychological warfare as well as silent killing, after all, and creating the impression that he's as competent as his reputation but not totally a bad guy is a move to make the Leaf less likely to hand him over to the Mist, or just kick him out, since retrieving the Raijin-ken seems to have only left them undecided, at least about the latter.

- CD
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

I don't know about the Akatsuki paper-nin but Nobegami is fairly closely based off the capabilities of The Paper with a couple of limitations: he can't control paper he's not touching (although paper touching paper he's touching is fair game) so the paper arrow thing and the like from the TV series wouldn't work; and it's a mite more tiring (the whole dependant on chakra thing). He's not exactly brimming with chakra either so an extended battle isn't his thing - he prefers to hold back and then strike only decisively (assassinating opponents not fighting them). And if paper doesn't work, he does have the shadow techniques and some knowledge of jutsu of most elemental types (mostly earth and wind since they do less damage to paper). If he's working with someone he might fall into the standard Nara role of pinning a target for someone else to kill.
I did write a snippet from the Sand-Sound Invasion for him which I may have posted before:

Quote:

---

Ukiya Kenji laughed as he spat a mouthful of flames into another house. It had been seven years since he'd left Konoha, only a few steps ahead of the ANBU. It was very, very good to get back and pay back the Hunter-nins who'd hounded him until he'd hooked up with Orochimaru.
He was a chunin of the Sound now and his squad were tracking devestation through the village who'd rejected him. Thinking of that - he frowned. Ichiro, on watch on the rooftops for any Leaf-nin who might have gotten a counter-attack together. Goro, smashing his way through the other side of the shopping district. But Shiro, who should be backing him up, was out of sight.
"Goro," he snapped. "Where's your partner?"
The burly ex-Stone ninja looked around and shrugged. "He was here a minute ago," he said after a moment's cognition. Kenji wasn't one to assume that size was linked to stupidity, but Goro's case was a compelling arguement.
"Well go find him!" Kenji snapped. "And if he's found any civilians kick his ass for having fun without inviting us."
Goro nodded pondrously and leapt up onto sign, hopping back along the street, looking from side to side for the missing Sound-nin. It wasn't the first time Shiro had demonstrated an unreliable side but if he'd run off in the middle of this mission, he'd face a steeper punishment than anything Kenji was empowered to hand out.
Kenji reached the end of the street he saw the errant genin bound up along the roofline, heading for Ichiro. Just great. Now they'd have to fetch Goro - this command stuff was for the birds. His whining was interupted by ripping sound from the roof and he looked up in time to see Ichiro's torso bounce down the roof and to the ground. A moment later the sound-nin's legs bounced down the other side of the roof.
"What the hell!" he shouted, then paled as a blood-sodden halisen floated down from the sky.
"Ukiya Kenji," came low voice from behind him and the Sound-nin chunin spun to see Nara Nobegami rip away the Sound-nin poncho he'd disguised himself with, revealing his usual maroon and grey garb. "Went missing-nin two years out of the Academy after being charged with several petty thefts. C-rank... although only because they didn't want to invent a D-rank for missing-nin just for you."
"Nara Nobegami," Kenji spat at the Leaf-nin. "The Origami Genin - you only passed the chunin Exam last year. I've been a chunin for four years now."
Nobegami turned the sheaf of paper in his hand into another halisen with a snap of his wrist and a rush of chakra. "Really? And your buddies, they were supposed to be genin?"

---

D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

Drakensis - I think I remeber something like that, but it wasn't in my notes, so thank you.

On Kakashi and porn - pursuant to previous discussions about how learning to be/being a ninja is literally *all he knows,* all he's ever done since he was old enough to talk properlt, his obsession with porn is likely enough another manifestation - he's so poorly socialized that ultimately meaningless encounteers with the emotional depth of a Lifetime melodrama at best are the extent of his experience in that area, especially if he's actively avoided forming strong attachments since (at least) whatever happened to Rin, and likely since Obito's death... not that he was Mr. Congeniality beforehand.
- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Naruto season 2
INTENSE! EDGE OF YOUR SEAT! TEASER! ACTION!!
Wow... I've added parts to... Practically everything, actually. Another 24kb in Gero Sennin (total 102kb, one and a half scenes left, but one is a long mass combat) and 5-10kb across the board otherwise for the most part, which makes this one of my biggest writing weeks, like, ever. Samples:
changed some jutsu names in TXY! HASSHIN! and the end notes to match

from the latest bit of Search For Gero-Sennin:
Banking and flipping in mid air, the former Snow kunoichi drew and tossed a good dozen kunai at the biggest group there, Lee and the turtles. Each trailed one of the little round bombs favored by Yuki-nin over the explosive tags common in more northerly countries, and as they hit they made an explosion that turned that entire end of the beach into a flaming hell, and blasted away the sand down to the damp under-layer packed with gravel and larger stones.
Almost as quick to react, Gomaru swerved in to shore, flipping forward off his chakra-channeling board and catching it as it folded into chopper form, uncurling and cutting a deep, bloody gash through Gai's back with the sharpened edge as the jounin's attention was grabbed by the explosive flower of death bursting around his look-alike student.

from Ino Gaiden, which is FINISHED at 22.4kb:
Omake: Roll Credits!
In a slightly off dimension
A step to the left or three
(Tra la la!)
Yamanaka girl, young and blonde and cute
Met two Haruno in black and red suits
Her family wanted them to suck some face
But she had other opinions so they went to mental space!
(Ninpo: Shintenshin no jutsu!)
Just to make it feel extra weird
They're always linked in the head
(Tra la la!)
And then they're the twin older brothers
Of her ex-best friend
Ninja roll call!
Jinrei! "I'm inside!"
Inoshi! "I'm her dad!"
Kenshiro! "That's me!"
Inoooooooooo!
We'll replay a past mission
To help explain our mind
(Tra la la!)
And to explain why Ino's clan
Thinks we're really quite a find
(Tra la la!)
As for their plans to wed her off
Such political hacks
Just repeat to yourself "Free choice," Ino,
"I should really just relax!"
For Mystery Haruno Theater 3000!
(bwong!)
Ino was gaping, eyes blank and blue with shock, and Kenshiro elbowed his other self in the ribs. "Told you she'd think it was weird," he muttered sotto voce.

the intro to the Mizuki segment:
"YAHOOOOOO!!"
Not so long ago, a certain ninja tool was captured and taken as a prize by a young Hidden Leaf genin.
"YAHOOOOOO!!"
Through the use of this tool and a bit of chakra manipulation similar to the tree-climbing and water-walking control exercises, it is possible to move along nearly any solid or liquid surface at a high rate of speed.
"THIS ROOOOOOCKS!!"
Of course, it can also be used in various ways as a potent weapon, as can practically any other piece of ninja gear, but all Naruto cared about at that moment was how incredibly fun it was zipping through and around the streets of Konoha slalom-fasion, like an orange and green whirlwind of chaos. Not that he realized quite how much chaos was involved, either, but between the shock factor and the wind from his slipstream, the disruption was considerable.
"YOOOOOOSH!! WE FLY WITH THE WINGS OF YOUTHFUL SPIRIT, NARUTO!"
And that was without even taking into acount the fact that Rock Lee was balancing behind him, the extra weight counteracted by pumping more power into the hoverboard. The boy had been feeling a bit left out when his team mates finally got around to trying out the device, lacking the ability to channel enough chakra to activate it. Fortunately, he has a good friend whose chakra runneth over, and who is all too happy to have something fun to share, and a friend to share it with.
"YEAH! YEAH! EXPLOSIVE POWER, YATTAAAA!!"
Or... perhaps... unfortunately?

from I Want To Read What Comes Next:
"My name is Tenten, and I don't use a clan name. I like learning to use new seals and weapons with Neshan-sensei, who taught me this past year until I could be placed with a normal team, and I dislike people who think kunoichi can't be just as good as male ninja. My dream is to become a great kunoichi like the legendary Tsunade-hime. Hobbies... I already said weapons training, so ..." Her cheeks developed a light tint, but whatever (or more specifically, whoever) she was thinking of, she shook it off before finishing, "... reading historical romances."

Nothing new in Wave Hello

from Itcha Itcha Jealousy:
*Yo, Obito... I think more and more how much you'd like Haruno... Or maybe, how much she seems like you. From strife within the team her drive to succeed has appeared, just like that time... Of course, her temper is even worse, if anything. Tenten's the level headed one, like you Rin, though she's more interested in her weapons than medic skills, and Sasuke is me all over, obsessed with blotting out the stain of a disgraced family member. It's a little different, but still so familiar ... it'll have a better end this time, though. I'll make sure of it... I won't let my comrades die...*

No, Hatake-baka still doesn't get it.

from Get Back Up From The Falls:
(Neji's training with Hinata is brutal)
After Kiba had finally been talked down, he'd been far more impressed with the girl's sheer grit, commenting, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." The back handed compliment had still been enough to set the Hyuuga heiress blushing and stuttering, compounded further by Shino's gift of a large patch for her jacket a few days later, featuring an intricate snarling hound in front of an orange Hyuuga flame crest and the kanji for "big fight" in armor-grade kikai silk. It was roughly six inches square, oriented as a diamond and sewn in the center of her back at heart level... in large part because having it on the front would mean looking at it herself and getting embarrassed, but refusing the gift (an expensive one if Shino hadn't been an Aburame himself) would have been terribly rude.

Nothing new in Chuunin first and second tests

from Chuunin Finals/invasion:
Ribbon free at last, she opened the polished rosewood box and stuffed it under an arm so both hands could unroll the scroll inside. "It took m-me many tries to get one that was goo... good enough, and it has to be signed with heart's blood to work, but Au-auntie asked me to give this to you. S-she said that the Professor of Konoha was too precious to lose f-forev... er..."
Usagi's voice throat choked up, and one of the wails she'd been so ruthlessly suppressing struggled part way loose like the mew of a lonely kitten, but she held her offered contract steady somehow, blinking away the tears that just wouldn't stop. It was such a bad scroll, 'barely acceptable' they'd said... Her penmanship was so sloppy, and there was a big round inkspot on the margin, like having a huge pimple on one cheek! No way was it good enough for a Hokage, he'd turn it down and the Kami of Ninja's knowledge would be lost forever because she got too bored to practise until every brush stroke became perfect! Or, maybe he would sign it, but nobody would ever want to use such an ugly scroll so it would be wasted and he'd hang around in the afterlife waiting and lonely and no one would call and she'd die someday and he'd be there and be angry at her for wasting his contract and -
Amusement. Exasperation. Affection. Auntie was telling her it would be okay, but really, what if... The blonde lifted her head again at a pained grunt, only to see Sarutobi withdraw his index figer from the horrible stab on his chest, dripping with blood. Now her hands shook, as she presented the end of the scroll with the blank (soul binding seal) for the one who would become the scroll's target, so the dying man could add his name with the sure strokes of a fuinjutsu user well accustomed to writing with a bloody fingertip. He added a thumbprint as well for good measure, then let the hand fall back to his side. Quickly she stored the now-priceless scroll away again, not bothering to retie the fussy knot when the scroll case would be in a pouch anyway.
"... to Kono...hamaru...offer it... first," he rasped. Seeing the girl's agreement, the Sandaime smiled as warmly as his gore-streaked face and flagging energy would allow. The blood had stopped clogging his lungs so quickly, but he held no illusion that it was a good sign. "Help me sit... look over... just... once more..."

Nothing new in the aftermath.

from the Tsunade search chapter:
Zabusa and Katsu enter, bearing coffee mugs
Z: "So... You're awake. And did you gain any useful information from your little ... adventure ... or was it a total waste of time and resources to haul your black and blue ass back here and heal it up?"
Mako can't answer. It's not as if she didn't already know her traitorous brother was terrifyingly strong, or the abilities of Samehada.
Z: "If you come up with something to convince me you're more than a reckless fool who jumps thoughtlessly in, your sensei knows where to find me. Until then, don't waste my time."

Three unchanged files, then...

From the time skip shorts collection:
Kakashi's other kunoichi had been GLARING at the new Sound Daishogun all through the briefing. Finally, Tsunade's patience snapped. "What IS your problem, girl?"
"Problem?" Tenten scoffed. "No problems here... You just USED to be my idol, you traitor."

No real development in the post-time-skip era, just place holders and preliminary notes for the conflicts with Akatsuki, Madara, and ROOT.

- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

In hopes of luring someone to actually comment, and since it is draft-compleye... Happy Solstice (a little late)!

========================
txy03_ino_gaiden.txt
2007-12-13 - initial file created, notes transferred from DWMB saves
2077-12-25 - finished!

Kami, was she thirsty! It had taken Ino two hours to compose the stupid review essay Iruka-sensei wanted on the theory and applications of bunshin and kawarimi before he taught them to combine the two so the object they swapped with would keep their appearance until it was hit, between the time spent actually coming up with what to write, and then copying it neatly onto a scroll to turn in. Massaging her wrist, the somewhat-less-chipper-than-usual blonde slipped out of the study and headed to the kitchen for a drink, pausing at the head of the stairs as she heard her parents' voices in the family room below.
"-omiai? Honestly, she's only eleven years old! What is he thinking?" her mother complained. Ino's eye twitched as she realized what they were talking about. Unless they meant arranging something with Sasuke-kun, there was gonna be hell to pay!
Her father sounded nearly as exasperated as his wife, replying, "I thought the old coot gave in too easily about teaching them, and now I know why. Grandmother and Uncle Inoichi are against forcing the issue, but even they would like to see such strong talent reinforcing the bloodline." He sighed, and from the soft sound of their movements, Ino guessed he'd pulled Mother into a hug. "She's the only one available for it, since Inoko married that Asagiri boy, and my sister only has sons. Ino, come downstairs."
Flushing slightly and wondering what had given her away - and when she'd get to learn it! - the youngest Yamanaka complied, picking up energy as she shook off embarrassment and remembered to be angry about getting fixed up with someone that didn't sound like Sasuke-kun at all. At least, she didn't think her father had ever taught the handsome Uchiha heir.
Her father cut her off before she could give voice to her displeasure, however. "Ino-chan, I've invited two of my old genin team over for dinner tomorrow so you can meet them - just a normal introduction, not an omiai - as a matter of keeping peace in the clan. You WILL be polite and gracious, understood?"
"But daddy!"
"Do you understand?" he insisted.
"All riiiight..." she reluctantly agreed, thinking, "but just because I have to be polite doesn't mean I have to like them, or make them like me!"
Her father's skeptical look warned that he probably understood what she'd left unsaid all too well, but he let it slide for now. "The boys are twins, Haruno Jinrei and Kenshiro, and instead of the normal Haruno bloodline they are very strongly psychic."
"What!? Forehead girl has a special bloodline? Maybe a bloodline for keeping her nose in musty old scrolls without choking to death, or signal flashes reflecting the sunlight off her oversized expanse of -" She cut herself off, staring angrily at the floor when her father cleared his throat threateningly.
"The Haruno bloodline is one of the very oldest, like our own, well established even before the first of the great ninja wars when shinobi began to change from specialists in infiltration and espionage to front line combatants." he explained. "Their ability is especially suited for use by deep cover operatives, but more combat oriented uses have been developed as times changed, also. For one thing, their second self is a perfect defense against mind-controlling jutsu, including many of our own family jutsu. Those techniques take considerable training to achieve, however, so it's no surprise if the only thing your friend has shown is unusually good chakra control."
"The twins are different, however, as I said. Even without knowing any of our jutsu, their psychic ability would be very valuable to keep the Yamanaka bloodline strong, since abilities like our own are so rare outside the clan, and we are too small to marry within it the way the Hyuuga often do, and the Uchiha did." Inoshi's face softened, as did his tone, knowing that if he was too authoritarian his strong-willed daughter would disobey just to be contrary. "I'm not asking you to fall head over heels at first sight, or to do anything particularly romantic while the boys are half again your age. All I want is for you to give being friends with them a chance, and let anything more develop as it may."
It took a bit more grumbling on Ino's part, soothing on her father's, and a few sharp words about manners from her mother before the conversation wound down, but Ino already knew she'd been licked. She was still dying of thirst, for that matter, and too much talking might damage her poor parched throat.

Explosive Youth Part Three
Ino Gaiden: It's Just An Intro, I Should Really Just Relax

Dinner the next evening had come and gone without major difficulty, though Ino had been a bit weirded out by the twins' tendency to switch off in mid-sentence when one or the other needed to take a breath or a bite of food. Then her parents had shooed the three of them into the family room while the adults cleaned up, and an awkward silence had fallen.
Her clan's marriage-minded maneuverings were absolutely the LAST thing she wanted to talk about, especially if no one had told the boys - Please, by all the kami, let no one have mentioned any such thing! - but absolutely nothing else was coming to mind. Worse, she could feel a light blush forming as she continued to look them over, the open vests and tight skinsuit doing little to hide the fit bodies of active ninja. *SASUKE-KUN, Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun...* she chanted in her head, trying to purge any such thoughts, then admitted, "...wears that bulky jacket all the time, so I have no idea if he's really this hot under it." She sighed, and felt the strong urge to start fiddling with her hands like that Hyuuga girl was always doing.
Taking pity on her, the twins drew a breath, then one said, "Ino-san, your father told you a bit about us, right?" At her hesitant nod, the one on the left continued, "He said he'd told you that Haruno usually have a second self, but that we're psychic, like the Yamanaka, instead. That's -"
"- not quite accurate," right-side-red continued. "We've kept it a secret so far, but your family probably wants you to think about dating one of us, since psychics are so uncommon."
Damn! They'd figured it out, or someone had told them and they were trying to be politic. The blonde girl could feel her cheeks burn, but stubbornly brought her eyes up to meet the green orbs of... arg, which one was which again? She took a guess and said, "Well, yeah, Kenshiro-san. Mostly the elders, really."
The pink-haired boys smiled in eerie unison, before requesting, "What we have to say is a secret even from our own family, but since you're now involved, we think you should know. Will you let us use a psychic contact so no one can listen in?"
Still upset with herself and her family, Ino thought for only a second - long enough to realize that in a telepathic link she could tell them off without her parents hearing - and agreed. The two boys shuffled closer together on their cushions, then interlinked their near arms to each form half of the familiar triangular hand seal used for Shintenshin, leaning their heads together to both look through it at her. There was the familiar pull of contact, then the three of them were in her mental space. Ino smirked slightly, seeing that their mental images apparently hadn't adjusted to their recent promotions, since despite the proudly worn vests on their real bodies they had only the bodysuits in here, while her own mental self had a perfect replica of the outfit she'd chosen for the day.
The bodysuits weren't even accurate, she realized - one had a red pattern on both sides, and the other was inverted, mostly red with black arms. Also, their facial expressions had lost that eerie unison, the one on the left wearing a confident smirk while his twin smiled warmly. Left folded his black-sleeved arms and - was that pervert openly checking her out!? - while right introduced them and explained, "I'm Kenshiro, he's Jinrei... but the truth is, we're not really two Haruno with a strange blip in the bloodline. Actually, we're one normal Haruno who happens to have two bodies. Jinrei would have been Inner Kenshiro, and most of the time I run them both. When we're in combat, separated, or in some other situation where full attention is needed for each body, that's the only time he really takes over. Since my parents named the first body born Kenshiro, Jinrei decided to use the extra name."
"... And here I thought the Aburame were freaky, what kind of stupid is having two minds and two bodies, and still only having one mind control both?" she sniped.
"Gosh, I dunno," Jinrei snapped right back. "What kind of stupid is only having one of each, then sending your mind to take over another body when all you can do is let your own lie around helpless? Even your grandfather can't do more than use a guard stance while controlling someone with Shintenshin, and the higher-level Yamanaka techniques don't allow as much control. Two heads are better than one, and I'm twice as good as that!"
"Oi, be polite when there's a guest, me," Kenshiro scolded, then turned to the fuming girl. "Jinrei doesn't deal with people much, so he's a bit brash, and unused to referring to us in the plural - even so, it's a fact that because of our unusual situation, we can use the Shintenshin to excellent effect, though that has been mostly hidden as well... If we hadn't, you probably would have been simply told you would be marrying one of us."
"WHAT!? Like hell! When I marry anyone, it's going to be Sasuke-kun, you stuck-up pinkies!" the young Yamanaka shouted. "Besides, Dad would never let the elders do something like that to me!"
Jinrei snarked, "So says every girl in his class... Including Little Sis."
Kenshiro bapped his other self on the forehead. "Ino-san, let me tell you about one of our recent missions, and then perhaps you'll see what we mean." He waved a hand, and suddenly they were standing by a row of seats in a movie theater... Except, it didn't have a normal screen, instead it was like a giant spy-seal viewer. "You know what this is?" he asked.
"Yes, of course," the blonde replied, since they were covered briefly under the study of ninja tools, "but I've never heard of one this big before..." She stepped closer and ran a hand over the surface. "So, you can make clear, solid mental constructs. Big deal, so can any genjutsu user!"
"That's not the big deal," Kenshiro said. "Take a seat with us, and we'll show you as well as telling." Ino frowned at the twins, but perched daintily in a seat near the middle of the row. They sat in the next two seats, Kenshiro beside the girl with Jinrei to his left.
A moment later, Jinrei passed two tubs of popcorn to his other self, who handed one on to the girl. "What?" the Inner Haruno said defensively. "It's traditional for our mission reviews. Don't worry, it's just another construct so it won't make your ass fatter. Not like you couldn't use a little both front and back any - Ow!" He was cut off by Kenshiro's knuckles digging into the top of his head, amid a shower of popcorn from Ino. "Ow! Ow! Okay, fine, her ass is perfect, stop it!" Rubbing his head as his other self finally let up, the red-clad twin griped quietly, "Bad enough fighting with myself, why'd the crazy chick have to go throwing popcorn all over? Now my mind's all dirty..."
Vein bulging and shaking a fist, Ino roared, "YOUR MIND WAS DIRTY ALL ON ITS OWN, YOU PERVERT! And damn right my behind is perfect. Way too good for the likes of you, so keep your eyes to yourself, jerk!" she huffed, and turned up her nose. After a few seconds to calm down, she turned to Kenshiro (utterly ignoring his immature twin giving her the red-eye in the next seat... Grrr...) and forced a sweet smile. "If there's a point here, can we get back to it? Something to do with the unrealistically huge viewer?"
(cont'd)SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Digging an elbow into Jinrei's ribs surreptitiously, he nodded agreeably and replied, "Actually, that was the object of the mission - a fuinjutsu master in Lightning Country had discovered a way to make a stable viewing matrix this big, and we were supposed to find out how. Since he's a civilian and lives well away from Hidden Cloud it was only considered a B-rank mission, and the two of me went without further back up. Because of that, we didn't have to hide our abilities this time."
The screen before them flickered to life, slightly grainy and in faded colors but overall better than most of the smaller ones she'd seen. It showed the two Haruno hiking into a mid-size town with typical Lightning architecture. They were in civilian clothes, carrying the large fur bundles of trappers, and had dyed their distinctive hair two unremarkable shades of brown.
As they were stopped by the gate guards and hassled until a sufficient bribe was paid, Jinrei said sarcastically, "Ah, the action-packed life of a ninja. New experiences abound at every turn!"
Seeing Ino's questioning look, Kenshiro whispered, "Another tradition... Most missions are actually pretty dull without the tension of doing it firsthand, so mocking our mistakes and the people we meet helps keep it lively."
Sure enough, after the two had sold their furs and checked into an inn, Kenshiro zinged his remembered self as one body folded onto a cushion in front of a low desk, pulling out some papers and writing tools from his much-smaller pack. "Behold my ultimate instant-kill technique! Accounting no Jutsu!" Despite herself, Ino couldn't help but grin along with him.
"The viewers have started to become popular among the wealthy and upper middle class of Lightning Country," he explained. "Because of the frequent bad weather, any free time is better to spend indoors. Their seal-crafters have taken advantage by making eye-seal cameras that link to dozens or even hundreds of viewers at once, and then have actors, puppeteers, jugglers, and so on perform in front of the camera. Sometimes, mercenaries or low-level ninja are hired to have exhibition matches. Of course, these viewers can also replay performances captured by a recording seal."
Ino nodded attentively, ignoring the twin on the big viewer for now, who'd left the inn and his studious double again and headed for the market district.
"Some Fire Country nobles have begun to get interested in them too, but the seals can't stay connected over so much distance. The viewers remain expensive, though," he continued, "so the people who have less money can't afford them. Also, the eye-seal cameras linked to so many are much bigger than usual, so there's not a lot of room for a big audience around the stage for the performers, to pay for their ongoing acts."
"Recently, a sealing master named Kaden came up with a way to solve both problems at once. He made a huge viewer like this one, and put it in place of the screen at a movie theater. People who can't afford a viewer of their own pay admission just like at a regular movie and watch the live performance on the screen like we are now. Jealousy towards the nobles is reduced, and better performers can be paid. It's an effective result."
"The mission was requested by a Fire Country noble, who wanted to set up a similar arrangement here before the Lightning merchant groups backing the plan there could establish themselves enough to expand. Essentially, we needed to either learn to copy the sealing method perfectly, or capture someone who was able to perform it and bring him back."
"Pish, easy!" Jinrei interjected, before throwing some popcorn at the screen and shouting, "Hey! Stupid old fart, watch where you're driving that cart! You almost ran me over!"
The Kenshiro on the screen had jumped easily out of the way, of course, and had then crossed the busy market street to enter an upscale shop. The attendant was dealing with another customer already, so he inspected the eye-seal cameras that were on display, then ...
Ino had to laugh as he blatantly made the triangle seal for Shintenshin and peered around the shop through it as if looking through a camera. She recognized the slight shudder as the clerk got possessed, but the Haruno who'd used the technique simply shrugged and started to watch a couple of Cloud chuunin dueling on one of the shelved veiwers.
A quick flash of the twin still at the inn showed him smiling as if remembering something, prompting another sarcastic comment from Jinrei. "Oh yeah, when they hear about the invincible Accounting no Jutsu back in Konoha, the babes are gonna be all over me... Mmm, Kurenai-sempai!"
"Hey!" Ino scolded, on behalf of females everywhere. "Will you knock it off with the perverted stuff, already?"
Back at the shop, the clerk finished the other sale and apologized for the wait. Memory-Kenshiro inquired after a long-ranged, durable viewer that would fit in a pack, to which the clerk explained he'd have to speak with the craftsmen in the back room. The reason for maintaining the deception was obvious, of course - they were standing in a shop that sold cameras and screens, after all. The view followed as he stepped into a large workshop and looked unobtrusively around, smiling weakly at a bored-looking Cloud chuunin nearby, who sneered and went back to standing around and watching Kenshiro in the shop standing around and watching Cloud chuunin fighting on a stage somewhere.
"Yes, the thrilling shinobi lifestyle!" Kenshiro repeated. "Go to exciting places! Meet exiting people! Kill them in exciting ways!" Contrary to his words, the possessed clerk did not jump into an orgy of bloody violence, instead walking calmly past the table where another assistant was getting ready to put a small veiwer device into an ornate gilded frame. He made his way to the back of the shop to talk to a man putting the final marks on a seal pattern that covered a plastered wooden panel that Ino guessed would barely fit through the average doorway.
They talked for a few minutes, then Kaden called over to his shop assistant, who laid aside the frame he been about to attach and instead went and got a much plainer one. The possessed clerk turned back to the master and... Shintenshin again! But he was still acting posessed... Kaden told them he was going out for a bit, and to bring out the trapper's veiwer as soon as it was ready, then left through a back door. The clerk went back out front, and chatted about the duel on the veiwer until the device was ready and the sale made, only showing the telltale disorientation of being released as Kenshiro bade him goodbye and left, looking down at the stack of ryo in his hand with a slightly dazed expression.
"I... There's no way!" Ino protested, overcoming her shock at last. "Okay, two minds, lots of practice, you can keep multiple bodies going at once. But Shintenshin again from a possessed person!?" The very thought was mindboggling... "To be able to jump hosts like that, it's the ultimate perfected form of the technique! The clan has been working to create a jutsu like that for *generations!*"
Suddenly, the assertion that if they'd shown their skills before Ino would have had an arranged marriage set up already wasn't so farfetched - hell, there was precedent, she might have been married to them outright on her tenth birthday! She stared at the pair with awe, shock, and not a little fear, arms crossing of their own volition to guard her chest. The Kenshiros on the screen were fitting the still-possessed Kaden with a disguise so he could simply leave town with them, but her attention was riveted on the two boys beside her.
Kenshiro smiled reassuringly and patted her knee, while even Jinrei looked apologetic. "You don't need such a look," he told her, peering around his more social self, "I'm not a total asshole. The Haruno clan has even more reason to be aware of psychology than you Yamanaka, so we know better than to try to force this kind of shit."
"You don't have to worry about getting blackmailed, Ino-san," Kenshiro said, picking up from his other self, "Even if the elders find out somehow and try to railroad things, we won't cooperate unless we all decide it's what we want. In the mean time, though, we can help you practice keeping your body active while possessing someone. We have a lot more chakra to hold the jutsu longer, and practical experience we can pass along since we know you'll keep the secret."
Well now. That was an entirely different kind of proposal, and one a little more to her liking... Sasuke-kun may be the only boy for Ino, but training her special family technique like that! *And,* a little devil in her own mind pointed out, *even if they are forehead-girl's brothers, they aren't too hard on the eyes. Bonus!*

Would you like to know more?

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Naruto setting and characters created by Kishimoto Masashi
Jinrei, Kenshiro and Kaden created by ClassicDrogn
Jinrei - silver(?)+spirit
Kenshiro - sword+white
Shintenshin - ?
Married at ten - while not recently, arranged marriages between members of ancient clans like theirs have been recorded as finalized as young as two years of age, though that subsequently led to a war between the Yamanaka and a no longer existing clan when the toddler died of a childhood disease and no replacement was offered. After that, the limit of ten years was enacted to attempt to guard against a repeat.
Kaden - electric charge
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Omake: Roll Titles!
(feel free to paste this to the top of your local copy, if you like...)
In a slightly off dimension
A step to the left or three
(Tra la la!)
Yamanaka girl, young and blonde and cute
Met two Haruno in black and red suits
Her family wanted them to suck some face
But she had other opinions so they went to mental space!
(Ninpo: Shintenshin no jutsu!)
Just to make it feel extra weird
They're always linked in the head
(Tra la la!)
And then they're the twin older brothers
Of her ex-best friend

Ninja roll call!
Jinrei! "I'm inside!"
Inoshi! "I'm her dad!"
Kenshiro! "That's me!"
Inoooooooooo!
We'll replay a past mission
To help explain our mind
(Tra la la!)
And to explain why Ino's clan
Thinks we're really quite a find
(Tra la la!)
As for their plans to wed her off
Such political hacks
Just repeat to yourself "Free choice," Ino,
"I should really just relax!"
For Mystery Haruno Theater 3000!
(bwong!)
Ino was gaping, eyes blank and blue with shock, and Kenshiro elbowed his other self in the ribs. "Told you she'd think it was weird," he muttered sotto voce.

END OF LINE

======= C'mon, don't be a Nara! Say something!

Please?

-CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Quote:

---

======= C'mon, don't be a Nara! Say something!

---

Something!
Also: there is something strangely appealing about watching characters MST themselves.

• XKCD #1288
  
• FoxReplace for Firefox

Two great tastes that go great together!

Quote:

---

Something!

---

Che, how troublesome...

But yeah, once I thought of the gimmick, I simply couldn't resist, and I had to have something to bring that segment to a close.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows