Quote:
> Our very own Drakensis has a very interesting SG-1
> story going on right here in this forum. Nobody's
> commented on it there, and in order not to interrupt
> the flow of the story, I'd just like to say that I'm really
> enjoying it so far.
I'm glad you like it, but really don't worry about breaking up the story. Any feedback at all, good or bad, would be welcome. Really.
(not to sound needy or anything, but having it just sit there, except for those kind words, is a trifle discouraging)
Well lets have the best of both worlds and make a separate comment thread.
I read it on a daily basis and am enjoying the show.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
I always check to see if the thread's been updated as well.
Obviously it's set durring the early seasons, but I'm not sure exactly which one.
You've been pretty accurate as far as SG1's personalities go.__________________
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it." - Terry Pratchett
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
Everything looks great so far!
The bit about "Daniel, Jack's Son" and it being a different Jack...kinda...was just absolutely great. =)
-- Acyl
It's good stuff and it makes a lot more sense. Accolades. I especially like the scene in which his usual host gives Nekhrun his uniform with all the medals in it.
"Evil tends to triumph over good...unless good is very, very sneaky."-Anonymous-
Ah thank you, my ego (and more importantly my muse) is bolstered by your feedback.
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
This story is so... SG-1-ish... that I can almost hear the musical cues as I read it.
Bravo, sir.
Two great tastes that go great together!
...tokhe straav'?!
Well, he's not so pissed off as to be unable to make a joke. That's good to know.
![[Image: smile.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/smile.gif)
--Sam
"If there are gods, they do not help, and justice belongs to the strong: but know that all things done before the naked stars are remembered."
Nekhrun isn't saying that, Ayodhya is.
Nekhrun may have introduced Tokhe straav' to the CFSF's vocabulary but it's taken on a life of it's own and it carries just about the same weight that it did in the source material. I could have written 'Goa'uld asskisser' instead I suppose.D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
And... it's over? I rather hope not.
--Sam
"Hug your destiny, Arthur!
Hug it."
My intention is to manage the full 50,000 words and I'm only up to 36,742 as of the last posted material. The next post is over a third done. Only nine days to go...
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Quote:
Okay, so theres a serious unbalanced Goauld with a fleet right out of Star Wars, Jack said and shook his head. Great, and I thought I was joking about the Darth Vader costume. I think that would be an improvement over the possibility that hell try to face off against the Goauld wearing a loincloth and a cape.
actually, he did that already, a couple of posts back, Jack... Remember how you managed to capture Har ur?"I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by
Echo's Children
Quote:
And then, briefly, Angrezi was lit by the funeral pyre of a thousand Jaffa, two hundred forty-seven Confederacy naval personel and the System Lord Apophis.
Kai kassai, epetai-Venator. May the Black Fleet welcome you and yours.
...that's some damn fine space battle goin' on there.
--Sam
"An object at rest -- CANNOT BE STOPPED!!!!!"
agreed. And the bits with Mayborne are quite amusing.
The only question is whether Apothis was able to Ring/gate away. Personally, I don't think he had enough warning to do so.
And meanwhile the System Lords back in the slower moving part of the fleet are thinking, "Do we really want to close on these ships? Or do we want to go and divide up Apothis' and Heru-ur's territoies?"__________________
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it." - Terry Pratchett
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
They lost eleven ships taking down the Dilios, Daniel asked quietly. At this point they have to be wondering if theyd rather go home and start picking off Heru-ur and Apophis territory.
Did my comment inspire you, or was this line already planned?
![[Image: tongue.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/tongue.gif)
__________________
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it." - Terry Pratchett
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
yes (slightly qualified that the possibility was also raised on another forum where this is being posted).
It's not the first time that something haas been mentioned that's led me to address a point in the next post or to even go back to edit for the cleaned up version that I'll post on ff.net once the story is complete.
Incidentally, the story is just a little short of 47,000 words now so it looks like I should be finished in time (if barely!)
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Don't feel you have to stop just because you reached 50,000 words. It's great stuff.--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make
anything explode.
Sorry, the story has a defined start, a middle and an end. I might come back with a sequel, but the end is approaching. Not that I'll stop exactly on 50,000 words, but the end won't be far past it).
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Warriors People is now editted, spell-checked and posted on FF.net with two small appendices.
www.fanfiction.net/u/347490/
Thank you for reading
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
no, thank you for writing and sharing.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Agree with the above.
And it was a nice story.
I have questions. This means the Confederacy destroyed most of the powerful System Lords? If Shakuntala's eyes glowed, does that mean she's also like Nekhrun? If that's actually true, does that mean Nekhrun can produce her own descendants? When Daniel Jackson asked what had Nekhrun done against the Gou'ald, Nekhrun has a good answer. What did he do before though or is that a secret?
Quote:
Tealc lifted Daniel easily in his arms and carried him off the bridge. Shakuntala paused and then knelt by Ayodhyas side, whispering to him. Maybourne had to turn away as he headed for what was left of the helm but he was cagy enough to notice blood on her lips when she rose and followed Tealc.
Quote:
We were just talking about Nekhrun, Jack explained.
Theres no chance that he and Maybourne managed to make it to an escape pod? Daniel asked. I mean, theyre both survivors
Shakuntala turned to look out over the city. It would be nice to think that, Doctor. Against the bright lights of the city neither man could see the golden glow that lit her eyes for the moment. However, all the escape pods were accounted for.
I thought that was a nice twist.
-- Acyl
I suspect that most of the System Lords present (minus Apothis of course) had their personal ships hang back and therefore survived the battle. Of course whether they escaped the relief fleet is another matter.
![[Image: glasses.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/glasses.gif)
Besides Apophis only had 5 other System Lords following him, there were far more other Goa'uld not present. Yue for example.
The ship that was almost run down by the Leonidas most likely had a Goa'uld onboard judging by the way the other ship sacrificed itself to break the tractor beam.__________________
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it." - Terry Pratchett
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
1. This means the Confederacy destroyed most of the powerful System Lords?
That would depend on the definition of 'powerful'. As stated, Apophis is dead and Heru-ur is a prisoner. Nekhrun's listing of System Lords involved ("Moloc, Ares Morrigan and Cronus Hathor") is not complete - there were at least a dozen System Lords present - and very few of the Ha'tak managed to escape von Lohengramm's pursuit. It's quite probable that some of the Goa'uld did escape but if so then they lost ships and prestige.
Prominent Goa'uld who were not present include Anubis (obviously), Ba'al, Nirrti, Olokun, Sokar and Yu. There are certainly scores, if not hundreds, of other Goa'uld. It is likely that at least in the short term they will focus on sweeping up the territory of the defeated Goa'uld. Nekhrun would consider Ba'al and Sokar to be the most dangerous of them.
2. If Shakuntala's eyes glowed, does that mean she's also like Nekhrun? If that's actually true, does that mean Nekhrun can produce her own descendants?
The implication is that Nekhrun jumped hosts to Shakuntala. Nekhrun is not a Goa'uld queen and cannot produce more Goa'uld.
3. When Daniel Jackson asked what had Nekhrun done against the Gou'ald, Nekhrun has a good answer. What did he do before though or is that a secret?
It's no particular secret. Nekhrun's been laying the groundwork for the Confederacy for thousands of years, finding suitable planets in his target area and moving human populations there before manipulating them to multiply and form suitable civilisations to join the Confederacy. Over the last century he's been able to hand much of this job over to the Confederacy and focus on building the fleet.
Given the scale of the work - there are more than a hundred worlds, most of them with a number of nations - he's been very busy for the last thousand years steering ages of enlightenment and reason and ultimately seeding Goa'uld technology for them to find. He's also been subtly moving their politics towards stable global governments. And on top of that he's had to keep the whole project a complete secret from the rest of the System Lords.
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.