Drunkard's Walk Forums

- Scission -
The events of Saw take place. At this point, various authorities become aware of the existance and mode of operation of the Jigsaw Killer.
Saw II begins. Jigsaw is taken into custody by the police.
Shortly afterwards, a HEXI round fired by an unidentified sniper penetrates Jigsaw's skull. Death is effectively instantaneous.
The events of Saw III fail to take place...

My now. I had no desire to see the movies myself, but still... Is it truly that bad?

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Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer

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What!? Were you expecitng something witty?

Well, keep in mind that I haven't actually *seen* the movies. I do however work in the electronics department of a store that carries them and a number of other horror movies. And they all sound really stupid to me for various reasons. So I imagine various interesting and sometimes amusing solutions to the problems that appear in them. (In the case of Saw II, what I've seen and read makes me think rescuing his victims would be easier without him around.)
As I've mentioned to a number of people in the past, I won't be impressed until someone comes up with a horror movie that has a problem in it that I can't come up with a way to kill...

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- Release the Yeast -
A group vacationing on a small island is unaware that the island already has an inhabitant - an enormous beast that craves the taste of human flesh.
As it happens, this beast finds a young woman named Taria walking alone. Following the impulese of it's nature, it chomps down on her arm.
Following the impulses of her nature, Taria grabs the inside of it's stomach and pulls.
It turns out that beasts that crave human flesh don't do too well after their digestive tract has been turned inside-out.

Freddy Krueger is a nice hard-to-kill.
Jason.. isn't..
-K, doesn't watch many horror movies.Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

The funny thing that I've heard about the traps in the Saw movies is that Jigsaw always leaves his victims and easy out, usually in the form of a key sor some such. The thing is, though, they usually have to do something to get it, something that rubs against their personas... Like the nurse who has to dig through the guts of a still-alive man to get her escape key.
Though I like the sniper-round solution better.

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Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer

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What!? Were you expecitng something witty?

(BGM: "Pick Up The Gauntlet", Parasite Eve II)

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Freddy Krueger is a nice hard-to-kill.

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To the Wikipedia! ...
Okay. The easy way would be to get him to go inside the dreams of Confusion or Discord, who would then digest him. But where's the sport in that? Besides, influencing his choice of targets might not be that easy.
If he's inside someone's dreams, he should be neurologically adressable by them, allowing the use of MTNP to rip out his memory of how to control dreams. Which certainly ought to slow him down. Alternatively, a telepath could use the same type of linkage to enter his mind, and implant a self-destruction compulsion or other useful effects.
Psionics could also be used to implant trap memories inside a person who was awake.
While travelling between different people, he could probably be trapped via use of a certain modified vacuum cleaner. The resulting explosion would forcibly deport him if he wasn't placebound. If placebound, he wouldn't be gone, but it'd certainly hurt.
If he's got an active power linkage to those demons, killing them would weaken him if not destroy him entirely. Using an utter wall to cut off the power flows could accomplish the same thing. But killing them is more fun. Holy water plasma could be expected to have the same effect on them it does on everything else.
For that mater, holy water plasma might have the same effect on Krueger that it has on everything else. Overpenetration would be a major issue though.
If wanting to just get him out of the way for a while, and he isn't dimensionbound, find person whose dreams he is in, transport them to quarantine dimension, wake them up, then bring them home with dimension slip. Killer who invades dreams becomes significantly less threatening when trapped in world with no sentient inhabitants. This should not be considered a permanent solution however, but is an effective way of gaining time for continued research. (Or inciting him to go inside the dreams of Confusion or Discord, and getting digested.)
Jason... dies, comes back to life, dies, comes back to life again... Eh, shoot his body into the sun and be done with it.
Shoot Chucky into sun too while at it.
-Morgan. Now, the Cenobites might take some work... their own damn fault."I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, or espers here, come sleep with me."
---From "The Ecchi of Haruhi Suzumiya"
-----(Not really)

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Okay.
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Shoot Chucky into sun too while at it.

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Those are very nice.
Now imagine that you are a sixteen year old human being with access to no magical or psionic powers.
Sure, killing Freddy/Jason et al is easy when you say "Well, I'm god and can do anything I want, including [insert technobabble here] causing their very existense to unravel." But that's just silly (even when talking about something as silly as slasher films).
The reason Freddy is frightening is because you, nor I, nor any other "normal" human really has a chance of stopping him.
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Epsilon

"The reason Freddy is frightening is because you, nor I, nor any other "normal" human really has a chance of stopping him."
[snort] Two words: Lucid dreaming.
Iv'e seen worse than Freddy after a pizza and too much caffeine.

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Now imagine that you are a sixteen year old human being with access to no magical or psionic powers.

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Why should I?
If the enemy has supernatural abilities, I see no reason to place a bottom on *my* bag of tricks.
Plus, the idea of something like Freddy or Jason running in fear gives me immense pleasure.
Now, Jack Chick, *he's* scary. But I doubt they will make a horror movie based on him.
What it comes down to is that I have to look at these movies when they come into my store. If I can't get entertainment from them as they stand, I'll get entertainment from them by whatever means necessary.
-Morgan, has dreams of the Master Chief searching for proof of the Silver Millenium..."I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, or espers here, come sleep with me."
---From "The Ecchi of Haruhi Suzumiya"
-----(Not really)

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[snort] Two words: Lucid dreaming.
Iv'e seen worse than Freddy after a pizza and too much caffeine.

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I can't beleive I'm saying this but...
They tried that. Didn't work.
And I doubt too much caffiene and pizza will kill you. Freddy will.
It's liek the difference between say... playing a video game about World War 2 and actually being IN World War 2.
One of them is entertaining. The other will kill you.

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Why should I?
If the enemy has supernatural abilities, I see no reason to place a bottom on *my* bag of tricks.

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(shrug) No particular reason, aside from the fact its 'cheating'.
It's like saying "I can think up a solution to any problem. I can just wish them away with my Ring of Infinite Wishes! I am smart and awesome!"
If you want to claim that you are intelligent enough to defeat Freddy/Jason/Jigsaw et al then default to the use of omnipotent powers or information which is not available to the protagonists ofr hte story... its comes off as not very impressive.
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Epsilon
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Epsilon

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(shrug) No particular reason, aside from the fact its 'cheating'.

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I guess I don't see it as cheating - just evening the odds. An antagonist using supernatural abilities with a protagonist that doesn't pushes my suspension of disbelief too far.
Admittedly, I'm not necessarily trying to achieve proportional force here. But here of all places the philosophy of "Overwhelm and Destroy" should be understood...
Besides, it produces more opportunity for humor. (Personally, I find the mental image of a woman reaching down the throat of an annoying monster and ripping out it's stomach *hilarious*.)
-Morgan, does have respect for the immune system. But no respect for horror movies."I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, or espers here, come sleep with me."
---From "The Ecchi of Haruhi Suzumiya"
-----(Not really)

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Freddy/Jason/Jigsaw

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I do not know about the other two, but if you give me an hour chained to a wall without interference I have enough trust in my knowledge of thermodynamics and yankee ingenuity that I can break the chain if its over a few feet in length.

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It's like saying "I can think up a solution to any problem. I can just wish them away with my Ring of Infinite Wishes! I am smart and awesome!"

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A Ring of Infinite Wishes will also kill you. Probably faster and more painfully than Freddy or Jason would have too.--
I am the Borg-again Christian. Resistance to my sermon is futile. You will be baptized. Your dogma is irrelevant.
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If you become a monster to put down a monster you've still got a monster running around at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all. 

Today I was once again working in electronics, and I happened to look at the cover for Wes Craven's "The Breed". I'd looked at this before, shrugged, and moved on; it just didn't look that interesting. But tonight, I thought "Why is that girl in that particular pose?"
Maybe it's something like this.
-Morgan. Nope! Still no respect!
(I think I have determined what actually *is* at the bottom of the bag of tricks, though...)"Mikuru-chan molested me! I'm... so happy!"
-Haruhi, "The Ecchi of Haruhi Suzumiya"
---(Not really)