Drunkard's Walk Forums

I've put it up at MediaMiner:

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_st.php/153627 - if you've read the partial post I
put up in the old thread, the third part won't be repeating very much for you.

I've not finished the Mizuki episode yet so that's the end of it there, but I'm going to add the Team Seven (Sakura, Sasuke, Tenten) bells test
here for comment.

Aklso - Valles, I went closer to canon on Naruto's parentage, making him Yondaime's son instead of nephew and Kushina his mother, but kept Mitarashi as
Yondy's clan. If you're planning on rsurrecting TGNH however, I'll switch back, since presumably you wouldn't have made the change without some
kind of reason.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

(deleted since it's uploaded on MediaMiner now)

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_st.php/153627/
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

(...)
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Looks good.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

Nice.

Some very small typo's friend ( instead of freind in 1st chapter)

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_st.php/153627

chapter 4

Scoeling, Gomaru growled,

"wwarehouse with a light fog. The spreading fires made it swirl erratically and gave the scene a stran ge, shifting glow"

I will probably comment later when I have a more coherent mindset, or perhaps not. 'cause I find it hard to find anything other than:-

...omg cool lol

Seriously! Brain buffer failure. I've always found the concept hilarious since the very first time you proposed it, and it's just been fleshed out
wonderfully well. Glad to see more of the finished product.
-- Acyl

I have been busy but I've glanced over the mediaminer version, and it has lots of typos, most of which should be caught by a spell checker. Other than that
not bad, a few clarity problems here and there but nothing story breaking.

PS: I reiterate my hate for yuku.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."