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Full Version: [Fanfic, RFC] Dear, Sweet Kami-sama, Why Do You Hate Me So?
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Dark eyes beamed from underneath thick brows. The lips were stretched into a huge grin under the nose and high cheekbones. Ezekiel Darkwood was looking at
what would become his new home.

He'd recently turned eighteen and he was ready for college. Not everything was right in his mind's eye, though. At sixty-seven inches in height, he
felt he was still too short. True, he was technically of average height, but that was the extreme low-end of the bracket that was labeled 'Average.'
At the very least, though, his looks were well above average. His face was narrow with high cheekbones, giving him the slightly exotic air derived from his
native-American heritage. The dark complexion didn't help in this respect. In high school he would have had the girls all but throwing themselves at him
if not for his odd persona. He never liked any of the fads, music, cars, or anything else anyone liked. He was an adamant iconoclast, determined to be unique
even among the 'rejects.'

"Dad, this is incredible," murmured Zeke from his window seat, his gaze firmly fixed on the ground far below. "Everything is so squared
away!"

Matthieu Darkwood looked nothing like his son. His hair was the color of salt and pepper and his eyes were hazel. He also towered over the younger man, even
while sitting down. Ezekiel's looks came entirely from his late mother, along with a good portion of her attitude and world-view. His mannerisms, though,
he had inherited from his father. Matthieu didn't mind though. The woman he loved lived on through their son and he would not have it any other way.

His father didn't even bother looking through the window. Instead, he simply smiled indulgently. This had been something of present for his son - it was
his final billet in the Navy and it was in the place his son had wanted to come to the most. He would retire here and take up a part time job at the Embassy.

"Of course, son. The Japanese are a very neat and tidy people. Even their civil engineers lay out the towns as neatly as possible."

For a moment they lapsed once more into companionable silence.

"Thanks for bringing me here, Dad."

Matthieu smiled again and, without looking, reached out ruffled his son's shaggy hair. Zeke didn't mind since his style was intentionally mussed.

"For you, son, it's nothing."



Zeke was technically an adult, so he had to travel on his own visa. Months before arriving, Mathieu and Zeke had laid down the ground work, arranging for
Zeke's continued education - namely from an engineering institute in Juban. It was a fair distance from the American naval station in Yokosuka, but that
was nothing that a train ride couldn't fix.

The Darkwoods were an efficient bunch. By the time they had arrived at Yokosuka, they already had the keys for their respective homes in hand. Their
household goods would not arrive for a while, but Zeke didn't mind. Most of what he was waiting for was items of sentimental value - his books, mostly,
and a few curios. He was planning on outfitting his apartment with goods bought locally.

Mathieu was using a week's worth of leave-time to help his son get settled in. The apartment was a small one - a single bedroom mearuing in at six tatami
mats, with a small den, kitchen and bathroom. Zeke was happy with it.

Money was not an issue either. In the event of her death, a good deal of his Mother's life insurance policy went into a trust fund for Ezekiel's sake.
That money now went to work in putting a roof over his head and paying for his education.

His personal belongings arrived sooner than anticipated and Zeke happily retrieved his beloved treasures: his personal library and his collection of curios.
The books filled up two large shelves that dominated the two walls inside the den, leaving little space for the entertainment center. Fortunately, his desktop
computer was kept in his bedroom while the laptop roved. The curios, meanwhile, made up a small, shrine-like affair in the bedroom, complete with candles and
incense. People who asked were told that it simply represented his travels and adventures, and then got to hear the sordid stories behind each of the
nick-knacks.

Once he was done, the apartment had a slightly cluttered, but comfortable and lived-in look. Zeke had one month left before school started, and so he used
that time to settle in and get to know the area around him. He had wanted to come to Japan so badly that he had coerced his father into letting him take
lessons in Japanese, or Nihongo as they called it. As a result, he spoke passable Nihongo for a gaijin on his first visit to the island nation.

It is that sort of thing that garners positive attention from the locals. It started with the smallest things, like greeting the neighbors and lending a hand
with carrying things. He talked and got to know people, but not to the point of being a busybody. Zeke soon came to be known as 'That Nice American
Boy.' And then came the day that Zeke did something that, while he considered normal for himself, was considered extraordinary by the locals.

It was his last week before starting school and he was waiting for a morning train to take him to Tokyo when he noticed an elderly man further down the
platform. He thought it odd that the man seemed to be profusely sweating in the cool morning air, until he saw him grab for his chest. Zeke realized then and
there that the poor man was having a heart attack.

Without a second thought, he broke into a sprint down the platform, startling some of the late-morning commuters, but otherwise merely puzzling them. When he
got there it was not a second too soon - a woman screamed as she noticed the man begin to fall forward towards the tracks.

Ezekiel's unyielding grip caught ahold of the man by his robes and pulled him back, and only seconds before a train arrived.

"It's a heart attack! Call a doctor!" called out Zeke in Nihongo. Despite the chaos around him, the
conductors heard him and snapped into action. "Lay down, stranger, and relax. Help is coming." The man said nothing, but there was a look of
gratitude mixed in with the pain in his eyes.

Soon enough the conductors had arrived with cold compresses, a stretcher, and an emergency defibrillator. Zeke was thanked profusely and asked if he could
stay to answer a few questions, just for formality's sake. Zeke politely answered that he had plenty of time, and went to the station master's office
with the conductors. He was asked the usual things, such as his identity, where he lived, what he was doing in Japan, and why he did what he did.

Zeke astounded them when he explained why he saved the man. It amazed them to think that Americans could be so bold and reckless with their own lives when
someone else was in danger. Zeke countered:

"That man may be someone's son, brother, cousin, uncle, nephew, father, and grandfather. I only have my Father. How could I be so selfish?"
There was nothing more to be added to that. The news networks pounced on the story. For the most part, the authorities dealt with them. A few reporters came
to Zeke's home, but they were polite and abiding.

However, the biggest surprise came after the storm. The doorbell rang and Zeke peaked over his book inquisitively, pondering if it was a straggler-reporter,
before getting up to answer the door.

His preconceptions were completely and utterly blown away.

She stood there, with an unreadable expression on her face. Her hair was cut in a traditional style that evoked the Japanese nobility of times past - long and
perfectly straight. Her eyes, despite the blank expression, had a fire that burned with the almond-framed orbs. She was his own height, and wore the uniform
of an all-girls academy that was nearby. If Zeke didn't know any better, he'd say that she was in her senior year, getting ready to graduate.

"Are you..." she then turned her gaze down at a slip of paper in her hands. "Eh-zeh-kee-eh-ru-san?"

"Yes, Ezekiel is my given name," answered the perplexed young man.

"What? OH!" she cried out as her face rapidly went to confusion and straight on to surprise. "I forgot, Americans put their given names first!
Gomen nasai!" And before Zeke knew it she was bowing before him. Before he could say anything else, she went
on, "Please, Da-ru-ku-wu-do-san, accept this gift as my gratitude for saving my grandfather's life." The next thing Zeke knew was that he was
being offered a platter of curry.

"Sugoi!" said Zeke fervently. If there was one thing he loved, it was a good curry. He just hoped that it
wasn't too hot. "I like curry very much. I'm afraid I won't be able to eat it all by my self, so let's eat it together. Please, come
inside."

"I shouldn't really intrude," she said weakly.

"Nonsense," said Zeke. "In fact, I bet you're hungry."

The girl opened her mouth to respond, but her stomach beat her to the punch, snarling noisily as it protested its empty state.

Zeke smiled. "I thought so. Please, come in. It isn't polite in American society to make a pretty girl starve, especially once she has gone through
the trouble of bringing you a meal."

The girl stood there dumbstruck. In standard Japanese operating procedures, he would have exchanged names, thanked her for the curry, and that would have been
that. However, she had failed to take into account what he'd done earlier that day and the fact that he was an American - not simply one of the loud and
noisy caricatures that the Japanese tend to paint that particular brand of gaijin (though some of them can certainly be that - the sailors from Yokosuka for
example).

She stood in front of the open door, Ezekiel's open invitation, before her wits finally came back to her.

"Ah, Hai!" she said as she suddenly stepped over the threshold and shut the door behind her while slipping off her shoes in exchange for the
house-slippers.

Her host, she noticed as he busied himself in the kitchen, didn't bother with the slippers, and with good reason, too. One look at the size of his shoes
compared to her own told her of how his feet would dwarf most house-slippers readily available in stores. He got by wearing just a pair of heavy socks.

"Go ahead and set it on the table," he said in his passable Nihongo. It wasn't the best she'd
heard, but he was better than most. "By the way, what is you name?"

"My name is Hino Rei," she answered as she set the curry down.

"It's good to meet you, Hino-san," said Zeke as he began to set plates down on the table. "I've been getting to know my neighbors, but
it's mostly elders and married couples with young children. There's hardly anyone around here that's my age." It was the proverbial gospel
truth. Zeke's apartment building was one of the smaller ones set in a quiet neighborhood. Of course, it was quiet because there were few people
Zeke's age there, so it came as a great relief to his neighbors when they found he was as quiet as everyone else.

As they sat down to enjoy the impromptu meal, they talked and began to learn about each other. Rei was surprised to learn that Zeke was actually her age and
that he'd graduated high school two years early and spent the extra time pursuing self-studies of various sorts. Nihongo, engineering of various sorts (mechanical, aeronautical, electrical, hydrodynamic, and (?!) nuclear), martial arts and
computer sciences were his primary interests. He said that he wanted to be someone to revolutionize the world.

Rei could appreciate this sentiment.

She also wish she could tell him what she did in her spare time. Of course, he'd never believe her. Hearing about everything he did and aspired to made
her feel like a slouch when she admitted that all her schooling amounted to was pretty standard.

"Daijobu, Hino-san," said Zeke with a smile. "I actually think that working in a shrine as a
miko is a great occupation. At least your work is quiet and fulfilling."

"What do you know of Shinto?" Rei asked, genuinely curious.

"A little bit. I've been studying all kinds of things related to animism because of my Grandfather."

"Your grandfather wants you to study things like that? I didn't think many Americans believed in things like that."

"That is true, but I'm Native American," said Zeke, correcting her gently. "At least in part. And
my Grandfather is a shaman. He took one look at me and insisted that I be taught in his ways. My Dad thought it was strange, but because he loved my Mother
so much, he let me go as much as possible."

"So why are you here then instead of with your Grandfather?"

"Well, my Father's an officer in the US Navy, so we moved around a lot. I got used to it so I like traveling around. I can't ever seem to stay
in one spot for very long. As for why Nippon, the reason is that I've always wanted to study here. And now I
think you know where I'm going with this."

"You want to learn about what I do?" asked Rei, somewhat disbelievingly.

"You may be able to fool a lot of people, but not me," said Zeke as though he was discussing the weather. "There's a lot of things that I
am not able to do because I've only learned bits and pieces here and there. But I do know enough to see a true... well, whatever you like to call
yourself... priestess, mage, witch..."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Zeke looked at her levelly, as though he were sizing her up, and Rei felt unnerved by the intense gaze. Without a word, he got up from the table and went into
his room for a moment. Rei watched him go curiously and heard a drawer open, something rustle, and then shut again. Zeke then came back holding a black
velvet drawstring bag and some kind of cloth.

At the table, he moved his plate aside (the curry, she noted, had been polished away clean - he hadn't been kidding about loving a good curry) and spread
the cloth out in its place. He then pulled something out of his pocket, open it, and then set it on the table as he began to make meticulous adjustments to
the cloth's placement.

A compass, Rei realized. But what for? She watched raptly as Zeke then sat
down and then looked her in the eyes with that intense gaze of his. It was, she would have to admit, a riveting experience having someone look at her in that
way - a way that she herself would look at people to divine their character.

"This is not divination as some would think it is," he said. "My favored tool is merely one used for lighting paths or objects that would
otherwise be invisible to me - much like using a flashlight in the dark instead of gropping around and guessing." With nothing further to add, he closed
his eyes and took a few deep breathes as he reached into the bag and stirred the contents with his fingers. A sound like marbles clattering together reached
Rei's ears. Then, with his eyes still closed, he pulled out a handful of the contents and then, with great ceremony, dropped them to the cloth.

A series of shiney, silver pebbles appeared on the cloth. Some of them appeared to have rigid, angular markings on them.

Runes! thought Rei, somewhat excitedly. She had heard about this sort of thing - of how witches of the Scandanavian
countryside would cast runes onto a cloth, usually made of wood or sometimes bone, and anointed with their blood to bind them to themselves.

"Interesting," said Zeke as he studied the up-turned stones intently. "You are certainly hiding something from me, Hino-san, but it is not what
I am looking for. It is alright. We all have our secrets - you may keep yours. What I want to know about is your practices at your temple."

Rei turned pink at that. She had been so protective of her secret that she had nearly jeopardized the her other identity.

"Gomen nasai," she said. "If that is what you wish to know about, Darkwood-san, then I'll teach
you about what I know."

Zeke smiled and bowed politely. "Arigatou, Hino-san."

Rei returned the bow. "Dou-itashimashite. I am curious, though. I have heard of these runes, but you use
stone. Is not wood better?"

Zeke smiled - Hook, line and sinker, he thought to himself. "It honestly depends on the person. I myself, for example, am aligned with the elements of
metal and air. Therefore, the mineral, hematite, also known as iron-oxide, is a perfect match. I also tend to be very energetic and hematite is an excellent
stone for grounding excess energy."

"So how did you bind yourself to the stones? They aren't living matter like wood or even bone."

"I found a way around that. You see how regular these stones are? I went out one day where hematite is commonly found and chipped myself off a good size
stone and took it home. There, I chipped out these stones you see here and put them through a rock tumbler to polish them up. That gave me the regular shape
I desired. To bind them, though, I took a sample of my blood with a steryl syrenge and added it to the rock tumbler. And then when I etched the runes, I went
ahead and blooded the etching tool as well."

"So that way you imparted yourself onto the stones?"

"Exactly. Haven't you ever noticed that things like landmarks and cities put out their own aura? It isn't just because of the people that live
there. It's also because of the people that built it, and for some landmarks that took a lot of people. At that point, it doesn't matter how much
spiritual energy your workers have; it is going to leave a mark on the structure no matter what."

"An engineer's solution!" said Rei in surprise as she got what Zeke was talking about.

"Now you're getting it. I'm an engineer, pure and simple. I build and create things with my own two hands, and there is no such thing as an
insurmountable obstacle. If a wall can be built, then it can be torn down or even circumvented. And I apply this wholeheartedly to whatever I learn."

The two passed the rest of the evening cheerfully discussing animism and its related topics.

Zeke soon started going to school and he would slogg through his work with avengence, pitting his wit and intellect at the problems as though he was a Samurai
lord pitted against honorless ronin. He spent as much of his spare time with Rei at the Hikawa Shrine as possible. The only portions of his spare time that
he did not spend there was spent, instead, attending kendo classes with his father at the Yokosuka Naval Station.

Rei and Zeke learned much from each other, but Zeke benefitted the most from it as he took concepts and practices and incorporated it into his own book. He
actually did keep a book, calling it his Book of Shadows, in the tradition of pagans. Rei was happy to flip through the book as Zeke practiced what he
learned.

Zeke's technique was slowly starting to form a whole at long last. What puzzled Rei the most, however, where the experiments he cobbled together with
whatever he had on hand during study periods at his school. She wasn't sure of what he was hoping to accomplish, but he certainly had a goal in mind.

Eventually they got to be on a first-name basis and later on Rei found that she couldn't help but like the iconoclastic young American. Especially once
she found that he could be deadly serious when it was needed, and then later lighten up the situation by being utterly, outrageously, fucking nuts - bursting
into song at random, making celeberty impersonations, and being silly in general.

Sometimes she even had him bring his work to the shrine, just because she was curious about what he did at school. She did this even though he told her it
would be terribly boring. So, one day he decided it was time to spice things up a bit.

"Is everything okay?" asked Rei as Zeke studied the problem before him.

"Heki heki," Zeke replied casually without even looking up. Yes, yes, it's just fine. "It's
not as difficult as it looks. I'm just trying to figure out which solution suits my tastes better."

"Heeeeeeh? Are you serious?"

"Of course. It's part of what being an engineer is about. It is not simply enough to accomplish the goal. You must do so in the most simple,
elegant, and efficient manner possible. Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

"You engineers are so weird."

At this, Zeke did look up and smile. He really did count himself lucky to have found a girl like Rei. In some respects, Rei was an ideal Japanese woman just
starting to come into her prime: as beautiful as a princess, quick-witted like a kitsune, and well educated. He just loved the way she stared him with those
almond-shaped eyes of hers with her face framed by her long, luxuriant black hair.

"Yes, I am weird," he stated proudly. "Of course, you wouldn't have me any other way because then I'd just be another boring egghead
like your friend, Ami-chan. Not that she isn't cute, either." Zeke's smile was now what Rei had taken to calling his Kitsune Smile and he
punctuated his remark by waggling his eyebrows at her.

"I told you before to stop doing that!" she cried out.

"And for that reason I'll keep on doing it." And with that Zeke's hand darted forward and tweaked her nose. Rei yelped, then snarled and
lunged after him. Zeke somehow managed to roll away and come up on his feet. "Come here you bastard!"

"Hey, I know my father!" Zeke cried out, tossing the remark over his shoulder gleefully as he cheesed it around the corner with Rei in hot pursuit.

"Fox-worshipping fiend!"

"But the servants of Inari-sama are so much fun!"

Rei's Grandfather watched from his chair. He was still convalescing from his heart attack, but he was fit to remain outside of the hospital as long as he
took it easy and got plenty of rest. He watched his granddaughter chase the wily American around the shrine with a smile on his face. He knew exactly what
was going on and he was pretty sure the boy knew it to. The only one that didn't really realize it was Rei herself. He only hoped that the realization
came sooner than later - that girl needed to get herself settled down and the American fellow, even if he hadn't been the one to pull him away from the
station platform's edge, was more than good enough for his granddaughter. Now if only the girl's father would show up now and then.

Oh, what's this now? he thought as he saw Zeke come to a stop and turn to face down Rei. Rei stopped as well, her
elegant hair a mess and her robes disheveled - what a sight! The old man hadn't seen anything like that since he courted his wife after the war! Zeke
then goaded Rei by tweaking her nose again. Enraged, the miko swung at him only to have the blow neatly - gently even! - paried with his open hands. Rei
swung wildly several more times and Zeke parried some and let the ones that would hurt the least through - the the Grandfather knew those would still leave
bruises.

Finally, Rei had the last straw and tackled him to the ground and Zeke unleashed his secret weapon, for few Japanese girls were not ticklish! Rei was no exception as Zeke's fingers easilly found her ribs. However, Rei discovered that zeke was ticklish
as well, and soon enough the two were a giggling mess as they tickled each other into exhaustion.

The old man just chuckled softly and wondered when the wedding would be and how soon great-grandchildren would come afterwards. He hoped it would be soon
enough. He was curious to see what kind of children these two made and he wasn't going to be around forever.



To be added later: some hair-raising adventure where Zeke discovers Rei is a Senshi. There will be WTFs, hillarity, and no-shit-there-I-was material.



Three Months Later...

Zeke felt as though he was in heaven. He was in Japan, independent, at a good school, and he had a drop-dead gorgeous Japanese girlfriend who was a miko at a
lovely Shinto shrine. Yet, he knew that something was going to happen soon that he wasn't going to like - karma was a cold-blooded bitch like that
sometimes.

And it came in the form of Suits who acted on behalf of the UN.

They took him for a rough ride in a rented sub-compact sedan all the way to his Father's off-base residence in Yokosuka. Zeke was surprised to say the
least, but the biggest surprise came when the entered his Father's home and there was an absolutely enormous man there that made Andre the Giant look
small. Even worse was the absurdly loud tiger-stripe suit he wore - Zeke was sure if the room was quite enough he could hear the noise it made. And then
there was the horm he had growing right out of the top of his head.

The situation was quite improbable, so Zeke had to recap.

"Okay then, let me get this straight," said Zeke, glad to be able to carry on this conversation in English. "You've decided that you want
to make a move on my world, but to give us a sporting chance you want someone, specifically me, to compete in a game of tag, which happens to be your national
past-time. Did I miss anything?"

"Nope! You got everything, kid!" said the absurdly huge man, one Mr. Invader. "You're pretty bright, you know? A real credit to your
people, kid. Honestly, I'd hate to conquer you guys, but if it goes down that way I promise to give ya a nice cushy job in the new world order. How's
that sound?"

Zeke blinked at that and glanced around nervously. Everyone around him was giving him pointed looks, not least of all his father and girlfriend. How the hell did she get here so fast!? he wondered, not for the first time since he's known her.

"Ah... I'm speachless!" he said wisely.

"Hah-hah! Don't worry, kid. I'll take care of everything else, you just worry about trying to win."

"Say, who will my competition be, anyhow?"

"She should be here any moment now."

There was a sudden rumbling and everyone but the giant man looked a bit uncertain.

"An earthquake!? Now?" asked someone rhetorically.

Lightning crashed through the patio doors, shattering the safety glass and sending it flying. And where the lightningbolt had rooted itself stood a girl. She
had a small and lithe hourglass figure - everyone could tell because of the skimpy two-piece bikini and knee-high boots she wore, done in the same tiger-stripe
pattern as Mr. Invader. She had voluminous hair framing her face and running down the entire length of her back in the most fetching shade of marine-green and
her eyes were baby-blue. Zeke also noticed that she had the tips of two horns barely poking up from the top of her hair.

"Hello! My name is Lum Invader," said the girl in a pleasant, if energetic, contralto. "I hope that we have a good match!"

"Well now, that was different," said Zeke. "I want some handicaps established."

"Oh? What do you mean?" said Mr. Invader.

"She can fly. And she has electrokinesis. There's no way I can compete with that."

"What do you mean? You don't have those abilities here?"

"No."

"But we were told that you're one of the most intelligent, talented, and physically capable people on the planet."

"Within human baselines. Despite my intelligence and talent, I'm really no different than anyone else on the planet. There's even people that
live here that can beat me at specific things I happen to do as well - I just happen to have the broadest range of capabilities. I'm an adept at many
things but a master of none."

("And I am going to make sure you fix that,") whispered Rei harshly into his ear.

("Rei-chan? Now's not the time,") replied Zeke, surprised that she would be saying that now.

("Fine, but after all this mess, no more games. I know you are just having fun with that school. If you are going to be the husband of a Senshi, then
you had better be worthy of it.")

Zeke sighed. ("Hai, hime-san.")

"I see then," said Mr. Invader, ignoring the byplay entirely. "Lum, darling? No flying and you can't zap him."

"Daddy! Noooo!" wailed Lum piteously.

"Lum, we have to be fair to the Earthlings. Now, come along. We've pestered these people long enough and they need to get ready."

And then, in another blaze of lightning, the two were gone.



Zeke got to choose the field of battle. To make it interesting for their guests, he chose the wild hill country west of Austin, Texas, USA. A brief test
showed that Lum was immune to snake bites and insect stings, so the primary worry was solely on Zeke. He was ready, though. His father had requisitioned some
survival gear for him and Zeke made good use of it, camouflaging himself to blend in with the landscape as best as possible. The survive-evade-escape-recovery
kit was spare and light weight - focusing on giving you the bare minimum needed to get by so your mobility would not be impaired.

The Invaders figured that Zeke would get some help from his people. They didn't care since they picked Zeke for his sportsmanship - he wouldn't use
anythig that gave him too much of an advantage. What the Invaders weren't counting on was the fact that Zeke knew how to track down prey. Lum was on foot
and knew nothing about hiding her trail - why would she ever worry about such a thing?

She was about to get her first lesson in survival skills.

About two hours into the game she got her first scare when Zeke suddenly burst through the sage brush to make a grab at her.

And then she put about a day's distance between herself and Zeke. Not that it mattered any, since a day's distance by foot was all it was. He gave
her another good scare the following day.

She was starting to get a bit freaked out, really. How could he seem to be so fast, after all? Lum was taking breaks, something Zeke wasn't allowing
himself save to get some water and rations vinto his stomach. Humans were built for endurance and Zeke was showing this in spades whenever he caught up with
her. By the third day, Lum was running constantly. It was now more of a challenge for Zeke to catch up with her, but he knew now that it was only a matter of
time before Lum finally wore out and he could run her down. He took his time and paced himself accordingly, like the tortoise racing the hare.

On the fifth day, Zeke had signs that she was close.

Very close.

Now, he definitely took his time, slowing to a near-crawl as he began to stalk Lum. He had never really thought of himself as all that stealthy, but now he
was excrutiatingly careful, duck-walking slowly, moving aside deadfall to keep it from crunching and crackling loudly under his feet. Soon enough, he had
sighted her trying to ford the San Marcos River. He had to give her credit, when someone set down the rules she didn't deviate - she could have easily
flown across.

He continued to stalk until he was finally in pouncing distance, hidden from view by the underbrush by the river's shoals. Lum was still trying to find a
spot to safely cross when she heard something moving in the bushes.

She snapped about, looking around warily. Zeke remained utterly still, his legs coiled like springs. It hadn't been him that made the noise, but even so
his heart was in his throat. When her frantic looking took her gaze well away from where he was hiding, he sprung.

Lum glimpsed him and yelped as she broke out into a sprint, but she was exhausted and sleep deprived. She barely managed a footing as Zeke came at her like a
leopard. And like a jungle cat that had put in the time wearing down and stalking its prey, Zeke had his catch as he took one last bound and caught Lum by the
horns on her head, tackling her into the waterlogged sand.

For a while, the two stayed like that, catching their breath. Lum dimly reflected on what had happened, dazed as she was by exhaustion. How could it be that
a mere Earthman had done this to her? Was he honestly so intent on having her? Did he really want her that much? Her delirious thoughts continued to run
like that until she slipped into a deep sleep, not even noticing the transition and having strange lurid dreams of some huntsman tracking her down and having
his way with her. Oddly enough, she enjoyed it very much. So it was with great reluctance she finally woke up.

She was in some sort of make-shift shelter made from a tarp and a tied-down sapling. She was covered with a foil survival blanket and it was dark outside -
the area was lit by a small camp fire. She got up, slowly, painfully, and looked around. Zeke was not far. He was sitting by the river and looking up at the
sky. As she got with earshot, he suddenly spoke up without looking at her.

"I've already radioed for pickup," he began. "They said the tracking beacon is pretty far out and it'll take a day for them get
anything out to us."

"What about your aircraft?"

"Helocopters? Why bother? We're not in any danger, and I think you father trusts me to make sure nothing happens to you."

"Really? It's interesting that my father trusts you that much."

"Yeah, well, he seems like an okay guy. A bit loud, but then I've had a few friends like him before."

"Enough that he wouldn't mind having you for a son-in-law."

Zeke turned and gave her a look. "Whoah," he said emphaticaly. "Now when was this decided?"

"While I was sleeping. I must say, you were very good."

"Ah, nothing happened last night."

"Maybe, maybe not. I know that whatever it was, I liked it a lot. And where I come from, that is more than just a marriage proposal." At that she
winked at Zeke and went back to the campsite. "I'll be waiting, darling."

Zeke just sat there and gaped as the full implications began to rain down on him.

"Dear sweet Kami-sama, help me."



More to come later!
First thought:
Quote:He said that he wanted to be someone to revolutionize the world.
So, where's his sword?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

CattyNebulart

Quote:Zeke astounded them when he explained why he saved the man. It amazed them to think that Americans could be so bold and reckless with their own lives when someone else was in danger. Zeke countered:

He didn't risk his life, now if he jumped down to the tracks to pull the man back up sure, but that is not what happens. this part just makes me grit my teeth, and the previous bit was just exposition, understandable in a prologue, but it doesn't really pull one in.

By the middle of this prologue I thouroughly hate the main character and wanted to rip his guts out, not sure why he causes such antipathy but I think it's the Mary sue tendencies and the fact that you tell us stuff and don't show it. it gets better in the second half but honestly i would have stopped reading before then unless several people on this forum recommended it or I was a fan of your other works. And even then I might skip it.

Skimmed through the post timeskip stuff and i see more of the same problems. show us what happend don't tell us. yes it is hard.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Well, I asked for commentary and I got it.
*Subtly bandages his writing hand.* (^_^Wink
Trouble is that it's kind of a rushed thing - sorry to put you through that, Catty. Things on my end are haywire and it can mostly be blamed on the fact that Seventh Fleet is kinda smallish (we only have ONE aircraft carrier).
On the train incident, I thought that it would be too much. Just stopping someone from falling in around here is newsworthy - a Ship's Serviceman, 2nd Class on the USS Blueridge (LCC-19) did that on his way into work with someone that had a seizure on the platform. It made news both on- and off-base.
No worries, though. I'll tweak it summore.
You're right about this being hard. To be honest, I hate it when a writer drags shit on. Yes, the jungle is a nasty, steamy place full of poisenous plants, cold-blooded critters, earth that's gonna swallow you up, things that wanna eat you, and our heroes despise it with a pink-and-purple-passion. There's nothing fun going on! Let's get back into the good stuff! But I guess that's just a personal thing. I'll strive to do better on the next take.
Seriously, I will. Expect something better next week (I hope).
This came a bit quicker than I thought, but it's only a partial. The little introduction on the plane I'm going to leave asit is - I don't see any
real reason to change that part. Let me know how I did on this.



I won't bother you with any of the settling in
BS. I had a nice little place, one bedroom, kitchen, bath, the works all miniaturized into Japanese scale.

I know some Japanese and it's enough to get
by. I help the neighbors with menial grunt labor when I have time and they think I'm the best thing since Commodore
Perry brought them sliced bread.

I have money; it's no big deal though. Most of it gets sunk into my tuition and my apartment. I'm lucky if I got enough left
behind to go out partying. Not my style anyhow. I hate drunkards - they remind
me way too much of just about every high school jock, band geek, and cheerleader I've ever known. I stay the hell
out of Yokosuka after seven O'clock, and if you can't understand why then I wonder why you're still bothering to read this.

Yeah, I'm just a ray of effin' sunshine, aren't
I?

I can be, really.
It's just that being in the sort of situation I'm in, the sort that most red-blooded men would kill to be in, is stressing me out so badly that I
don't think the finest marijuana would sooth my nerves. Not that I think that stuff is all that great
anyhow. And yes, I speak from experience. Tried it twice and, while it was an
interesting experience, I decided that I can do without it.

Anyhow, I guess I should back up a bit to where this story
really got started. That was when I saved the life of a man. I should have
remembered the old adage that no good deed goes unpunished.

It was a quiet day.
Nice and sunny, and just a bit chilly. Perfect September day in Kanagawa. I was
hoping to get to Chuo Park over in Yokosuka to get some pictures of Mt. Fuji before everything hazed up. I'm no
shutterbug, but sometimes I'll take time out for the oddest things.

So there I was at the station in Juban, waiting for a train,
when I noticed an old man dressed up in traditional style. I'm no expert, but it looked like he was some sort of
priest. What really got my attention was that the old man was not looking good.
He looked pale and he was sweating his brains out. And then he clutched at his chest and I mentally cursed up a streak
that would have made Old Granddaddy Conway proud of his grandson, even if he did decide against joining the Navy.

As I see him start to sway, I realize he's about to take
a header into the tracks and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Best of all, the damn train is about to get here,
heralded by those electronically synthesized musical chimes the Japanese are so fond of here (they even put them on the turn signals of their trucks for crying
out loud). No one had noticed yet, so as I saw the man fall, I made a snap decision.

Seconds before my train arrived, I jumped in, eliciting no
shortage of screams and mayhem from my platform. Meanwhile the same thing was going on at the platform the old man was
on, and in the distance I could see the other train coming. Not having enough time to be gentle, I hauled the old man up and to the ledge.

"Help me!" I practically snarled in my clumsy
Japanese. Right away, someone, a conductor, hauled the man and another gave me a helping hand on up out of the tracks
and back onto the platform. A few seconds later the train rushed by.

I wasn't really paying attention. I was just trying to get it through to them that the old man was having a heart attack and the stress of the situation probably
was not helping. Soon enough, though, they got the message and they rushed to give first aid to the old man.

I had only a moment to look into the old man's eyes
before we were whisked apart. There I saw a profound look of gratitude mixed with the pain he was
experiencing. He was thanking me for giving him his life.

There's no way I wouldn't have done it - it is never
someone else's problem.

Soon I was all but shoved inside the station master's
office and with a gesture the conductor told me something along the lines of 'sit down and don't touch anything.'
Outside it was a storm of conductors and staff wanting to know what the hell was going on in there station, as well as the transit police. But inside the office it was calm - like the eye of the typhoon. I was alone in there for
the moment. It was a bit cluttered. This was not the ultra-neat space that
Japanese were known for. This was a place of business where thousands of people passed through each day. It was going to be a bit lived in looking.

Finally, things began to quiet down a bit and the door
opened, letting some of the now-diminished noise and in came two men.

The first one wore a uniform like the conductors, only less
elaborate while maintaining a sense of superiority. He could be none other than the station master. Following him had to be whoever was in charge of the transit police

The station master was an older man, just passing out of his
middle-age. He had a bit of a hang-dog look on him, as though he was already having a bad day and it had just gotten
worse. I couldn't blame him as I'd had my share of days like that.

With a heavy sigh, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and
silently offered one to me. I politely declined and he took one for himself and lit up.
He took a deep drag off it, held it for a second, and the let it go over our heads.

"Boy," he said in English, "You've made
my day a hard one."

Taking this in stride I shrugged. "It could have been worse."

"It could have.
My superiors don't like it when these things happen. They tend to take it out on me if I don't make an example
of someone."

"Why's that, though?" I said, clamping down on
the righteous indignation that I could feel bubbling up in my gut at the slightest hint of injustice. "How are
your conductors supposed to see every single person there?"

"They are trained professionals. It is expected of them."

I sighed at that.
"I'd say it's not fair, but that'd be pointless."

The old Station Master harrumphed at that. "You're right about that, boy. I'm supposed to ask you some questions
now. You're lucky I studied English in America. Let's start with your
name."

"Darkwood, Ezekiel."

"Darkwood is your family name?"

"Yes."

"That's very interesting," said the Station
Master.

"Why's that?" I asked, genuinely
curious.

"Have you ever read a book called Shogun? Your name reminds me of the Englishman from that book. A shame that wasn't his true name, which was Adams, I believe. If it had really been
Blackthorn I would wonder if you are some sort of distant relation."

"I've wondered about it, too, but if you'll
forgive me that is neither here nor there."

"Of course, I apologize. Age?"

"Eighteen."

The Station Master raised an appraising eyebrow at me and
shook his head. I did look incredibly young for my age.

"Home address?"

(Insert address here)

"Oh, that noisy place?"

"What do you mean?"

"This business about cute girls and ugly monsters
tearing the place up."

I blinked hard at that.
"I find that hard to believe. It's the first I've heard about it."

"Well, you're new here, yes? You'll see it soon enough. Reason for coming to Japan?"

"School and family."

"Good enough.
And now the one question everyone is going to want to know: why did you do something so stupidly brave?"

I could only shrug that this and say, "That man may be
someone's son, brother, cousin, uncle, nephew, father, and grandfather. I only have my Father. How could I be so selfish?"

"The mindset of an American put into terms that
Japanese can understand. That's pretty impressive stuff there, kid. The
press is gonna eat this shit up. Got anything else to add?"

I shrugged once more.
"Nope. Just hope that old man does okay."

The Station Master waved it off. "All our conductors have what you would call first response training and we had defibrillators and oxygen to him in no
time. The paramedics responded pretty quickly, too, so he should be fine."

"Good. Is it
possible for me to go now?"

"Of course.
This was all just a formality so we have something for the records."

With that, we both got up and I was shown the way out the
offices, but not before we bowed to each other. The place was back to normal, but the conductors all looked at me
furtively, and I somehow felt drained.

So much for a
nice day outside
, I thought as I turned and trudged back home.

CattyNebulart

blackaeronaut Wrote:Well, I asked for commentary and I got it.
*Subtly bandages his writing hand.* (^_^Wink

Sorry I don't mean to be discouraging, but show don't tell is quite important. If you are writing a summary it should be short and concise, a story shouldn't be.

blackaeronaut Wrote:To be honest, I hate it when a writer drags shit on. Yes, the jungle is a nasty, steamy place full of poisenous plants, cold-blooded critters, earth that's gonna swallow you up, things that wanna eat you, and our heroes despise it with a pink-and-purple-passion. There's nothing fun going on! Let's get back into the good stuff!

That depends on how it's told. a story about a trek in the jungle should focus on that, and show us what is happening. example: "Mike didn't enjoy through the jungle filled with poisonous snakes." that is bad.
"Mike was just drinking for his canteen when he stumbled and fell onto the moist jungle floor. 'Oh yuck,' he thought, 'this muck will probably not come off.' before the thing he stumbled over started writing and hissing.
Turning around Mike came face to face with a rather large snake, flicking it's forked tongue out in Mike's direction in a rather annoyed manner. Frozen in fear Mike didn't move until the snake slinked of into the undergrowth.' now i won't claim it's good, but it's a lot better. we are not reading the story because it is a chore, we are reading it because it is supposed to be interesting.

You have a similar problem with the neighbours you tell us they like him but not much else. Show us how he overcomes their prejudice or whatever and how they come to like him, or skip that part alltogether. either it's important enough to show us, or it can be left out. Exposition is sometimes necessary, especially at the begining of a story but you keep draging it on beyond the permissible point.

I have the same problem and need to be continually reminded, so don't feel too bad.

blackaeronaut Wrote:This came a bit quicker than I thought, but it's only a partial. The little introduction on the plane I'm going to leave asit is - I don't see any real reason to change that part. Let me know how I did on this.

Much better. Much much better.

blackaeronaut Wrote:Yeah, I'm just a ray of effin' sunshine, aren't I?

You got that right. again I hate the main characters guts but this time it seems to be intentional. you seem to be trying for the badboy type, unusal in harem-type anime, and not quite what i got form your brainstorming summaries, but it works.

Quote:"Oh, that noisy place?"
"What do you mean?"
"This business about cute girls and ugly monsters tearing the place up."

Doesn't flow well, I would suggest adjusting the dialogue a bit.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Badboy? Maybe. Iconoclasts tend to be as everyone else tends to piss them off. Wink

Thing is, though, I wasn't really going for the sort that you automatically hate.

I guess I've just run into one-too-many authors who don't know how to keep those long, interminable sequences interesting. Probably why I like Diane
Duane so much. Maybe I should start rereading her stuff.

Glad that you like the new version better. I'll tweak that conversion a bit later tonight.

CattyNebulart

Quote:Thing is, though, I wasn't really going for the sort that you automatically hate.

You're not? The sheer overwhelming arrogance in the opening narration isn't intentional? hmm.

if you want to skip more of the boring parts you might want to start the story when Rei delivers the food. Handle his arrival there and such in the dialogue. You can explain what he did in a flashback or it could just be Rei thanking him for it.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Sorry, Catty, but I don't see the arrogance that you do. Confidence, and maybe a little impatience with people, but not arrogance.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Okay, that's a load off my mind.

ETA: Fixed that bit in the conversation between Zeke and the Station Master. How's this look?

"Home address?"

(Insert address here)

"Oh, that noisy place?"

"What do you mean?"

The man gaped at me.
"You mean you don't know!?" Then he stopped and seemed to think about it.
"How long ago did you get here?"

"About a month ago.
Why, what's been going on?"

The old Station Master sighed and had another long drag on
his cigarette, puffing politely away from me.

"Well, it's been pretty quiet lately, but
there's been some wild business with pretty girls fighting monsters. They tend to do a lot of collateral damage,
but so far no one's been killed. I suggest that if you ever see anything even resembling that you get out of there
and call the police."

I blinked hard at that.
It's hard to believe, but when I looked up at the traffic police officer, he simply nodded his head.

"I'll take your word for it," I said
honestly.

The old man nodded. "That's the best I could hope for. Reason for
coming to Japan?"

Something else that I just thought of. I should set the Senshi storyline at that quiet point between the first and second story arcs. This does two things -
gives my guy some room to get settled without having Cardians/Youma coming for his head, and allows Rei to be genuinely innocent for a little while (her
memories are blocked out for now). That way it will add a little tension between her and Zeke until she gets her memories back, and then it's gonna freak
her out that Zeke divined that she was hiding something.


UPDATE: More will be coming soon, hopefully. Rest assured, the meeting between Zeke and Rei is actually going to be more confrontational... in a subtle way.
It should be interesting - I'm using Rei's distrust of men from the manga version and pitting it against Zeke's calm, if a bit abrasive,
confidence. The results are interesting because while his attitude initially grates against her, his overwhelming sense of honor, duty, and courage throws her
completely off.
Quote:I'm using Rei's distrust of men from the manga version
If you're using the manga for source material, then you probably already know what Rei's father does for a living. What's he going to think of his daughter dating a gaijin?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Well, not enough is known about her father to draw that sort of conclusion. All that we really know is that he is a very distant man, very high up in the
political chain (probably a party-leader in the Diet), takes her out for her birthdays, and tends to give her white dresses and lillies. Oh yes, and that Rei
either hates his guts or has an ambivilant love-hate thing going on for him.

Really, we could go any direction with this.

There's only so much that he'd be able to do without making himself look like a jackass. Japanese society may still be a man's country, but
treating one's daughter badly still doesn't bode too well. (Of course, letting your father/father-in-law take care of the girl while you persue a
political career isn't really seen as a bad thing - he's an awfully busy man, you know.)

The most he could do, really, is disown her if she insists on dating Zeke. Big loss there.

Of course, he may have ties with the Yakuza - not entirely uncommon in Japan. If he were to call in a favor to have Zeke taken care of, it would be fun to have
the thing blow up in his face. It would look especially bad since Zeke is the son of a high-ranking US Navy officer - some people may not like the USN being
there, but even they cannot deny the massive boon they are to the economy. The backlash from something like that would be severe in the extreme.

I think I can have fun with this. ^_^

paladindythe

One thing you may want to explore is how/why he scares girls away, and how the Contenders are different from this. I think you may be asking too much of the
audience otherwise. (At least, as far as your first draft goes, Zeke came off as rather charming for an iconoclast--but maybe I'm just ill-informed)
Hrm... Well, I suppose that he would have had one or two girlfriends at some point in time while in high school. And it would be more like he'd tell them
shere to shove it and how far because he isn't interested in 'groupies' no matter how hot they are or think they are.

Simply put, Zeke finds the fiercely independent type that, like him, follows their own rules to be attractive. Mall rats, groupies, and cheer leaders need not
apply.

Necratoid

I think the problem with the first one was that he was just soooo smooth. It totally broke the description given in the brainstorming thread.... he just
knew what to say and how to say it (max ranks in diplomacy with a high charisma)... Very 'Glory be as me.' of him. Everything went so greased
through the day... in the brainstorming thread he is suppose to be the kind of guy who doesn't have the socialization that makes him fit in and its made
worse that he is trying so hard to not fit a stereotype. He has force of personality a plenty, its just it always comes across as intimidation rather than
diplomacy. He is frantic and driven and not trying to fit in. He should be coming off as having internal monologue errors, not as calm an in control of the
situation. To me he comes off as rather smarmy in the first text... though he losses points because I've got the examples from the brainstorming thread to
work with.

For showing and not telling examples... the thing were the neighbors get to like him, even if they can't quite get his motivation is easy to show. Add in
random scenes where he recognizes some middle aged woman with a heavy load of bags, as being from his building. Then have him take one or more of the bags
from her and carry them for her... she should mentally panic... is it a thief? He can mention her appartment number and carry the bag(s) for her to there
while she follows... at which point she is thinking thief? Rapists? I don't know this guy why is he carriing stuff for me. She steps in the apartment
and he puts the bag(s) down and leaves. She is stunned. Later have him keep randomly helping people out and wandering off when he is done. He only has to
help with minor stuff really. Stuff that takes a minute or two. Someone drops something pick it up and drop it back in their bag. The kind of helpful stuff
that he can think of as not a big deal, but that adds up. Random acts of kindness that he does habitually, which attracts people, before his nature freaks
them out.

I big error in the second half of the first part is that Rei is the one that doesn't know they are dating... it should be the under socialized Zeke.
Others think he knows already, because it is 'so obvious', but as no one has bothered to tell him what was going on. Not that Rei has to know
either... you can use it as an excuse to mellow her anti-men thing to the level you can have her end up in Kanami and Sosuke's class. She won't be
fully comfortable with them... but should be funtional around them... that and Kanami and her can share yelling at Sosuke, for being himself, for doing weird
things. Having him do things like use exposives on random letters in his locker should make the rest of the guys seem normal in compairison.

The second version started off like Gantz really... only at least one guy was coherent and thoughtful enough to pull him off the tracks. Not speaking Japanese
well means he has to slow down and think of what he is going to say... which he shouldn't be doing in English much. I mean under socialization combined
with actively trying no to fit a mold and his fast and loose (externally at least) train of thought and acction is what makes people freak.

The bit with the Rei and inviting her in isn't bad. Though having him invite her in, because of the grumbly belly and not a for smary reasons works
well... having him already working with stuff on the table and her asking what this stuff is a more brainstorming thread in character thing. Having him notice
her aura after she brings it up or after casting the runes (at which point he trances to confirm the reading) makes more sense... then comes the 'Are you a
witch?' thing... also she will have reason to keep him distracted at the temple. That way he won't actually scan the rest of the scouts and ask why
exactly they magical auras for no reason.

The best way to have him start a realistic bond with Sosuke is to have them dragged along by the then befriended girls (every shopping trip goes better with
pack mules after all) and spend their time discussing how they both get something *waves hands around nebulously* profound just happened but neither of them
know what. Mutual confusion is shared misery and that is something to start a friendship on.

Lastly, I think the other thing that is setting off SI censors is the random and seemly out of character martial arts thing... combined with the kendo mention.
This is a tinker/shaman. I mean you can write off the wilderness survival training and stalking as related to training as a shaman. All that wandering
around and finding those always helpful for mystical meditations hallucination inducing plants... and teaching kids to hunt in the wild is a good way to get
them to stop complaining about being hungry. Military father can even mean gun training. Leaving in a skill gap in the Hand to hand area gives him a tangible
weakness. Though having him learn the ancient art of out running away fast... fast like you just enrange a pack of wild boars would come in handy for later
plot points.
Good points everywhere, Necratoid.

True, he should fumble up his Japanese, especially in stressful situations. I'll roughen up that situation at the train station a bit more. Having some
people accusing him of making a mess of things and utterly confusing/angering him should suffice. However, once Zeke is secluded with the Station Master with
only a guard for additional company it becomes a bit different. The Station Master is reasonably upset about the situation, but obviously does not pin the
blame on Zeke or anyone else. It was just an accident and Zeke kept it from becoming a disaster.

Thus put at ease, Zeke loosens up for the Station Master and they have something like a congenial conversation over what just happened.

What I can do to remedy the scene with Rei is probably have a flash-back where dear-old-Dad is sharing some pearls of wisdom with his son in regards to the
female mind. Such as provoking Rei into chasing him across the shrine. Nothing is more fun and stress-relieving than chasing down your prey.

Sosuke + Zeke, brothers in mall-slavery. It works. (^_^)

Regarding martial arts... It is something I'm reluctant to let go, but I will caveat a handicap - he's a bit of a clutz. Not epic Mihoshi clutz, but
enough that he just does the martial arts thing for fitness and as father-son time. He would be able to do a couple basic self-defense moves fairly effectively
- basic disarms and takedowns - but the last thing we'll see Zeke doing is going all Jackie Chan or Jet Li on somebody's sorry ass. We'll also
never see him pulling a laser-sword or a katana out of his hammerspace coat. Maybe a bokuto, but only if he or someone else has enchanted the damn thing to do
some amazing shit like sending out waves of razor-wind, fire, or an ice-blast.

Zeke will be much more skilled at cross-country running and handling a fire arm (not a sniper like Kurz Webber, but well versed and still higly skilled - knows
where his strengths lay). Guns will be especially useful once mage-tech is applied. The only snag will be acquiring them in Japan, but I think being part of
MITRIL with resolve that.

As a last resort, might be decent with tonfa - weapon with equally effective defensive/offensive applications appeals to me and is relatively easy to weild. A
block with a fore-arm guard easily turns into a vicious close-in counter-blow. Also can be easily hidden in the hammerspace jacket once it is gained (probably
in the second or third arc).

paladindythe

You know, if you want a bit of vermisilitude, change it over to Army Combatives, which is mainly Brazilian Jujitsu. An rather practical martial art.

Speaking of that, is Zeke's father a senior NCO, or an officer? It'd make some difference in his views.

Something else to bring up, what does Zeke do for fun, or has he been so busy that he really hasn't, and is only now figuring that out...

Necratoid

Yeah, I'm not opposed to him actually being able to take down Thug number 3 or anything... its just with the the rest of the skill base listed (and the
general smarminess didn't help the view) him adding in he practiced martial arts sets off the SI alarms. Granted he might not actually understand the
local standards for calling ones self a martial artist. So I'd leave i out of his intro... bringing it up that he wants to learn some kendo, images of an
enchantent stick sword dancing through his brain, after seeing some of the random acts of monster vs. magical girl violence or seeing some of the random
battles between empowered characters and youma, or mercenaries or something. Its not that he knows some self defense and prudencee and self preservation make
him want to expand on that that is the issue I had. Its weaning you away from the SI being presented as an image thing.
paladindythe: I don't know much about Jujitsu. The disarms and take-downs would probably be based on Aikido, which when you look at it is really a simple
style once you know how the human body moves - something that an engineering-focused mind could easily apply. Beyond a few basic moves, though, he's
totally out of his league and would very much like to have a good old fasioned beatin' stick. Or better yet, a gun.

As for his Father, he's a fully commisioned officer - I'm thinking of having him be the CO on a DDG (write what you know and all).

For fun, he does several things. First of all, he's got a bicycle. He doesn't believe in using a car, because while they're fun from a standpoint
of engineering and zooming around, they're also messy (pollution) and expensive. He also takes his bike seriously - not in that pro-racer sense, but
instead that do-everything-with-my-bike sense. In short, he's got it rigged to haul cargo with something called a Freeradical made by a company called
Xtracycle - real world product. It's a modular cargo extension with a cantilevered frame that slips into the rear fork. See the website for more details.

For more fun he has it equipped with an electric motor-assist system. It's actually kinda fun when you have a heavy looking load and you get double-takes
from the auto drivers you're keeping pace with.

Aditionally, he tinkers. He likes to squeeze every bit of performance out of his toys such as his bike and computers. He used to work on cars as well.



Necratoid: It wouldn't be his idea. It was originally a ploy by his father to spend some time with his son. You see, the engineering thing actually comes
down through his mother's side (but not the portion that suppliled his Native American heritage) - sometimes the man is simply boggled by the ideas Zeke
cooks up. Martial arts was something that Zeke agreed to just because his Dad coerced him into it. Now he keeps it up simply out of habit and because it's
a good time to catch up on what his Dad's been up to.

That, and I honestly don't want to dumb him down to the point where he makes the cognitive connection that kendo practitioner = youma slayer or something
like that. He would, however, observer that many youma slayers are practitioners of some fighting style - not all, of course (i.e.: Tsukino Usagi).



Something I am seriously considering, though, is setting my character's age back to sixteen. This allows him to better fit in with the rest of the crowd
without messing around with everyone else's ages. That, and I want him to be around for the majority of the insanity that will occur for the source
material story arcs (including FMP: Fumofuu).

I still want to miss the first story arc. This helps to ensure that Usagi is already settled with Mamoru. (I'll admit, I don't recall when Yuuichiou
comes into the picture.) And being there when Chibi-usa arrives is too much fun to pass up.

More details on story arcs and how I plan to mix and match later.
IIRC, Yuuichiou shows up a bit after Jadeite is kicked out of his undercover temple job, as his replacement -- which is to say, not very long after Rei joins
the core cast.

I'm wracking my brains right now to figure out if this is a detail from the series or a fanfic somewhere, but I seem to recall an original-Japanese
first-season episode where Yuuichiou reveals he's actually a rich kid who was bumming around the country, until he found Rei. Can someone confirm/deny?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Wikipedia is our friend.

--Sam

"One of these days, milkshake -- BOOM!"
It doesn't say when he appears in the anime, only that he doesn't appear in the manga, which would make sense - manga!Rei would have never even given
him the time of day. Zeke would be able to appreciate his bohemian views on life, but would counter that even bohemians need to be a little more motivated if
they expect to catch the next big wave.

Maybe I'll have him somehow wind up on Airontou instead. There's some nice waves there and plenty of girls, even if MITHRIL were to set up a base
there. And the girls there will probably whip him into shape, too. Gotta work to eat, after all. *Evil grin*

EDIT: If Yuuichiou thought Rei was great, wait until he meets Machi (older of the two miko sisters, very calm and relatively reserved, but vindictive and a
nasty tendency to be creepy).
Having him wind up on a deserted island full of nubile women of all types..(where even the moms are hot milfs!...save obaba of course, but she was a hottie in
her prime) is either heaven or hell, depending on your POV. Sticking him with Machi...who has a terror of being an old maid....hehe
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell
Yeah, and best of all, her younger sister (went blank on her name) wouldn't be interested at all since her primary interest is making Suzu suffer. And
since Yuuichirou would be with Machi and not Suzu...

...Another added benefit might be that Machi settles down a bit. You see, it isn't so much that she's fearful of becoming old... it's of being old
and never married! Sure, it's irrational given that up until Ikuto arrived there were no men there, but fear hardly ever is rational, is it?
Well, she's the oldest of the current crop..plus it's a cultural thing. Oh, and her younger sister is ayane.
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell
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