Drunkard's Walk Forums

Recently, work's been utterly insane. I won't bother you with details, suffice to say that I've made no progress on my projects. Blargh...

However, I did run accross a list of awesome one-liners that I fully intend to have Zeke use over the course of DSKS. Let the snarkage commence!

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and smirk as everyone wonders just how the heck you managed it

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isnt for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

I'm smiling. That really should scare you.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, I just see things the way they are

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more free service we offer.

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

I couldn't repair you brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I will not follow. If you want to walk besides me, go far it, but don't expect a
big reaction...

For people who like peace and quiet: Get a PHONELESS CORD!

I don't get even, I get odder.

I have a photographic memory, but it takes a day to develop.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.

Love me, Hate me, make a voodoo doll of me and stick it full of pins, I will continue to be indifferent to you.

To be alone is to be different; to be different is to be alone.

Excuse me while I find a container for my joy.

People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

Quote: blackaeronaut wrote:

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That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.




Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

*snippity snip*

These two I know as:

That which doesn't kill us has made a severe tactical error.

Some see the glass and say it's half full, others will say it's half empty. I see it and say "Who the fuck's been drinking my beer?!"

Quote:Some see the glass and say it's half full, others will say it's half empty. I see it and say "Who the fuck's been drinking my beer?!"

the optimist sees the glass as half full; the pessimist sees it as half-empty. the realist knows that eventually, he's gonna have to wash the glass.
-Z, Post-reader at Medium
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If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

...The engineer notes that the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.

Some of those are already in my quotefile.

The rest will be, shortly.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

The light that burns twice as bright gets shot in the dark.
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

I have a t-shirt that reads, "You don't have to be CRAZY to work here -- we'll TRAIN you."
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

I'm reminded of what my dad used to say to me in situations like this...

And that was?

"Put that down, what's wrong with you, you don't know where that's been!"
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

A few from my quotefile:

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
- Brendan Behan, The Hostage, act 1

Taking anything too seriously is as big a threat as not taking it seriously enough.
- Berke Breathed, in an interview with Scott Kurtz, 19 February 2001

They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan, Brocas's Brain

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.
- Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin

You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough
- William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

pulling from my own quote file:

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."

- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"The graveyards are full of indispensable men."

- Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."

- Yasir Arrafat (On going to war over religion)

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."

- Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)

"The field of computer interaction is still in its infancy. Computers are too hard to use, they require us to waste our brains learning too many things
that aren't REAL knowledge, they're just stupid computer conventions.

It's up to us to fix this."

-Will Shipley
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

A few more, being used as sigquotes over on the SJGames Forums:

Sanity is like virginity: the world is a lot more fun after you lose it.

Transmitte me sursum, Caledoni! Hic est nullum signum vitae intelligentis.

I don't want to live forever through my work; I want to live forever by not dying.

- Woody Allen

The navy could probably win a war without coffee but would prefer not to try

- Samuel Eliot Morrison

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

- Mark Twain
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific."

"Why is it called tourist season if we aren't allowed to hunt them?"

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization."

"Is there another word for synonym?"

"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

- George Carlin

"I can do nothing to stop you. Your background music is too strong for me."

- Who's Line is it Anyways?

"I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die."

- Mr Garison

"If honesty is the best policy, why isn't it government policy?"

- Dave Broadfoot

"The shortest distance between two points is through Hell."

- Brian Clark

The more complicated they make the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.

- Lt Cmdr M. Scott

"Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy."

- Joseph Campbell

I'm an iccorigible punster, so don't incorrage me.

He's a sex object. He asks for sex and women object.

Where do homeless people have 95% of their accidents?

What did tornados hit before there were trailerparks?

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

9 out of 10 doctors say that the 10th doctor should mellow out.

A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Insanity doesn't run in my family, it stampedes!

Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints...

Spotted on the back of T-shirt: I am a bomb technician, if you see me running, try to keep up.

I let my mind wander and it never came back.

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Now there's a man who suffers from delusions of adaquacy.

I was passing by a cornerstore and saw 2 signs in the window. The 1st said "Clerk can not open safe." the 2nd said "Help wanted."
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand
this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

-Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio

"In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it."

- Field Marshal Erwin Rommel

Next time I go undercover to investigate a super-secret, deniable project, I demand a flamethrower!

- Project Tatterdemalion

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there
first.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.

Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Man who smoke pot choke on handle.

There are two kinds of pedestrians--the quick and the dead.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

---------------------------

This is just from some old pages I saved years ago. Don't make me pull out my actual quote files.

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My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody boring.

There is a certain Buddhistic calm that comes from having money in the bank. -- Ayn Rand

Age, latro; fabrica meus diem.

If someone with multiple personalities tries to kill himself, is it a hostage situation?

Never drink Coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with the chemicals in Coke produces hallucinations. People tend to change into lizards
and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the window. Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows.

-- author uncertain but believed to be Hunter S. Thompson

I read somewhere that 77% of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23% who are apparently doing quite well for
themselves. -- Jerry Garcia

Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.

You remind me of someone ... I don't like them, either.

I have multiple personalities and none of them like you.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on the list.

It's hard to show I care ... since I don't.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "Damn, that was fun!"

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

"Good morning" is an oxymoron.
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Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

If that meant Adele was lying to a politician, it was merely a pleasant reversal of roles.

- David Drake, In the Stormy Red Sky

"Thermal detonators are proof that the maker loves us and wants us to be happy."

"Artillery is the King of War, Infantry is the Queen of the Battlefield. And it is well known what the King does to the
Queen."
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

"We're not surrounded, we're in a target rich environment!"

"In considering a potential ally, there are only two questions to ask of yourself. One: Can he shoot? Two: Will he aim at your enemies?"

-- Cantra yos'Phelium

Nutritional tip: Only Irish Coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alchohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

On the subject of a half empty glass, changing glass to can and part of the cast will have quite nonstandard reactions.

You might want to have a scene where realizing that he is going to endlessly run into these situations, have him actually compile a list and keep track of
which ones he has actually managed to use. Some of which you can just have on the back of his jacket of holding with the inclusion of a enchantment on the
back of it. The interface you can play around with.

I forgot two of the best:

The meek shall inherit the Earth -- the rest of us will escape to the stars.

I got out of bed for THIS?!
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Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

Here's something I used through Basic Training in the Army. I actually intended to make the standard statement, but since we were all tired as hell, my section misheard me. It stuck.
"Sleep is for the week. Once every seven days."
-- Acyl

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

- Calvin and Hobbes

"The path of least resistance will seldom lead you beyond your doorstep."

"Those scared of the dark have never seen what the light can do"

"First blood isn't as important as last blood."

- Magic: The Gathering flavor text

Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.

Growing old is manditory. Growing up is optional.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Someone has to finish last in medical school, how do you know it's not your doctor?

He's a legend in his own mind...

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

If someone plays the bagpipes well, how can you tell?

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Last time I went to Kentucky Fried Chicken, I got a 10 piece. When I put it together it turned out to be a cat.

Veteran of the Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force 1990-1951.

100 years ago they called 100 white men chasing 1 black man a lynching... Now they call it the PGA Tour...
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid.

-- Dwight D Eisenhower

History is fables agreed upon.

-- Voltaire

Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals.

-- Colman McCarthy

A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.

-- Theodore Roosevelt
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." - Lily Tomlin

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." - Steven Wright

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow

"I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here." - As seen on a t-shirt

Purranoia: the fear that your cats are plotting against you

"I don't really trust a sane person." - Lyle Alzado

"Talking about partial nuclear disarmament is like talking about partial circumcision. You either go all the way or forget it!" - Robin Williams

"The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." - Albert Einstein

"Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is
winning." - Albert Einstein

The Duckbilled Platapus, proof that even God gets stoned every once in a while.

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

"You do not make history. You can only hope to survive it." - G'Kar (Babylon 5)

Light travels faster than sound, that is why some people appear bright until they speak.

Golf is the only sport where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad doing it.

Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

We put the 'fun' in disfunctional.

Some of you know me already ... those would be the ones readying weapons.

Don't you wish you could turn up the intelligence on your TV sometimes? They've got one dial marked brightness, but that don't work.

"For many years I have tried to visit your fair city, BUT YOU HAVE ALWAYS SHOOTED AT ME!" - Don Karnage (Tailspin)

"Best defense - is not be there." - P. Morita
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

Kinda relates to the topic.
I was watching Monsters vs. Aliens earlier and saw that one of the deleted scenes features B.O.B. the blue blob pulling a Leroy Jenkins, giving me a good and hearty LOL. It was then that I realized that with all the highly impulsive characters in DSKS, somebody is bound to pull it.
I'm thinking maybe Minako. She's got enough international pop-culture knowledge to get it and is just impulsive enough (evidence of this exists - I forget the name of the episode, though).
Just imagine a scene with Zeke, the Senshi, Urzu Squadron, and the NWC all gathered together, hashing out a semi-desperate plan of action, and then Minako takes off, screaming "LEEEERROOOOOYYYY JEEENNKIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!" to the high heavens. Everybody is like, (O_o and Zeke procedes to headesk. And of course, later, this becomes their catch-all battle cry, with the exception of Zeke, who simply wonders how the hell that happened.