Drunkard's Walk Forums

Here's a dozen rabbit eggs, a post-Easter clearance sale if you will. Some are just outlines, others have prose fragmentation warheads. Or something. Length varies, but it's about a thousand words each on average. If you only want to take the time to read one, then skip down to #4.

#1: She Zaid she LUFFS You! Ja? Ja! JA!

Picture a first-person HP fic, female perspective. She's thinking about this too-cute boy she just briefly met on the Hogwarts Express, how the sight of him made her gasp when she slid open the compartment door, how he swooned at their meeting too, until that horrid lout drove her away at least. Sighing sadly, she flips through a fashion magazine, thinking that - just perhaps - her skin could use a little improvement if one of the beauty products looks good, and maybe she could get a more flattering robe, perhaps in a nice maroon that would set off his eyes. Oh, and perhaps some protective charms so he wouldn't be frozen by her aura of cold, and something to help keep the sort of thoughts she wanted to inspire in his mind instead of being drained away in favor of fear and despair... that's right, it's the dementor from the train... and she has a crush on the Boy Who Lived. And, as it happens, she's not the only one - hence the stampede of (dementor) fangirls at the Quidditch match. Most of it would be beside and largely independent of canon up until the night when Pettigrue is caught and then escapes - the Fangirl Horde would have learned enough human speach to be shouting Harry's name, and "Date me!" or "He's so CUTE!" possibly throw a few pairs of knickers, etc. When Sirius and the kids are cornered, they get hit with the protective magics, and... well, next thing Sirius knows when he finally stops panicking, Hermione is holding him (still in dog form) in her lap and alternates between petting him a bit roughly and huffing over "those Dark Hussies" while Harry is in the middle of a female-dementor-dogpile from which his occasional protests and much more frequent kissing noises are emitted from the ones who managed to get within arm's length, while the outer ring is mainly catfights, with some mobility between the two as one of the outliers gets a good grip on a luckier ... 'girl' and pulls her away from Harry-Snuggle-Wookums. Jealousy of and pride in his godson war within Siri's mind witnessing the most fearsome of magical creatures turned into a pack of squealing love crazed fans.

Crack? Hoo boy, got yer crack right here! Wacky-tacky-bizzy-bo-backy-crack!

#2: Harry and the Beanstalk

7th book, Ron never came back after leaving during the horcrux hunt until things were over and it was time to claim the glory, at which point he was booted like the load he is. Harry and Hermione were in time to keep Luna from being captured by the Snatchers, and she takes his place in the endgame. Now it's 2000, the new trio look at the Magical World and see that ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. HAS CHANGED. Purebloods still own the Wizengamot and Ministry, Muggles are still seen as little more than amusing animals and Muggleborns are second class citizens (not even being Hermione Jane Potter could get her a Ministry appointment above Junior File Clerk) and the Snorkack's range is still being threatened by ever-expanding potions ingredient farms run by the Rotfang Conspiracy. Having to fight vampires from the British Orthodontic Association regularly after her parents dissappeared (and her first-try memory charms turned out to not be as reversible as they should have been) gave Hermione reason to extend a bit more credence to Luna's odd theories, even if she's still the logical rationalist to Luna's intuition and belief.

Fed up with all of it, and seeing as how Harry has the proverbial Vast Magical Power, they joke about finding a nice patch of ocean and pulling up a patch of seabed to make their own magical country. Then Hermione gets That Look In Her Eye, and does A Bit of Research, and one thing leads to another, and before Harry quite catches up with what's going on he's standing on the fantail of a magically-enhanced boat dead on the equator with a bloody magical *staff* instead of a wand, with a thick, musty book floating open in front of him from which he's chanting an incantation so long he has to sneak in sips of pepper-up to stay awake to finish it, and the sea around them is boiling. Two weeks later the eruption has stopped and there's a new island on the face of the earth, even if it's still hot enough to singe the soles off your boots if you attempted to walk on it.

A bit of protective magic has let them go ashore long enough to plant a flag, however, and Hermione is knowledgeable enough to make a go at their cover of being oceanographers (herself a geologist) who came to study the minor undersea volcanic vent that suddenly went active and arrived coincidentally at just the right time, with Luna cast as marine biologist and Harry a hobbyist funding the expedition after coming into a large inheritance (all relatively true, at least enough to feel they weren't lying) who now wants to have a go at colonising the place, and "making use of certain ambitious and unorthodox megastructure construction theories." Hermione then goes into a jargon-filled spiel about biologically grown carbon nanotubes and cold organic/inorganic alloying and completely loses everyone (her own companions, a bigger shipload of oceanographers from Woods Hole, and some reporters) though various experts on the mainland pronounce it all poppycock when the story is released. Nonetheless, (and with magic to fill in for the pefect storm of utter bullshit she snowed them under with) a tower starts being built whose base covers almost the entire island, and it keeps on going, up and up and up... An airline route has to be adjusted a bit within a few months, and by a couple years on there's been a collision and a couple of near misses with old low-orbit satelites and (insert nation here) is complaining because the plan is to go all the way to geosynchronous orbit and (nation) has that space reserved, and so on.

2005, the Beanstalk is complete, and I have no actual story to tell about it; just the image of E.V.A. using a charmed, skin tight dragonhide or woven-metal suit, bubblehead charms and broomsticks instead of bulky space suits and SUT packs. Then, ninjas attack! Or something interesting happens, anyway. I suppose it could cross over with a space-based series, but the common ones (Stargate, Trek) don't tickle my bunny and most others I can think of require enough effort to fit in with an Earth that only has RL space capability aside from one brand new Beanstalk that you might as well write something from scratch. I expect Luna would make a cracking xenobiologist, however.

Of course there's always the "we're not inviting any more authors into UF, feel free to write your own story intead" Crazyglue Kludge Crossover From The Negaverse option - with magic involved there's even a rationale, however shaky, for the dimensional crossovers or lifelike anime character homunculi or whatever to make it work. Heh, maybe having so many Muggles who don't beleive in magic on earth has weakened it, and that's why wizards are reduced to small hidden communities and magical creatures to limited preserves, but people will believe just about anything is possible in outer space if you give it a thin veneer of scientific doubletalk, hence why the Beanstalk could happen (physically and legally) in the first place. And is it really so implausible for the genius who figured out the secret of the ridiculous material strengths needed for such a thing to also figure out a reactionless drive, or a way to sidestep relativity?

And yes, this is set up to facilitate a Harry/Hermione/Luna relationship, probably playing the "wife for each Most Ancient and Noble House" Potter/Black card. Because I like the more relaxed Hermione who can get along with Harry in a close relationship, and Luna is the perfect counterpart to her, while Ginny is kind of meh - if she was going to be a serious love intrest, she should have been a major character all along. Actually, I get much the same reaction from Ginny as I do from Ophelia in Hamlet, who I once was assigned as the topic of an essay and wrote it explaining why she felt like an afterthought added purely for the purpose of giving the main male character a love interest. I got an A on the paper as I recall, though I doubt grading was based on anything more than technical quality and showing evidence of having read the assigned material. Apparently she was a leader at Hogwarts with Luna and Neville in HP & the Deathly Plot Coupons, but given that I skipped the middle of Order of Wet Kleenex and gave up on Half-Wit Ponce just a few chapters on, I'm not about to waste my time reading it. Better to explore FF.n by the random-story-ID-number method, at least there's a chance of finding something I'll like.

Much later: Oh, and on rereading it, I find that Rorschach's Blot had the idea of "pull up an island, make your own magical country" in one or two of the chapters of Odd Ideas far enough back that I probably just forgot the source when I originally wrote this. Of course, his version is set 4th year rather than post-series, and being in Odd Ideas it's on open offer anyway (just like all of this is) so that's no big deal.

#3: Don Chu Eva THIN abouddit!

SEELE knows many things, but they don't know about the Wizarding World. Ever since a few days before Second Impact, seers have been prophesizing en mass all around the world, and practically all of the accounts fit together to predict a number of titanic creatures attacking in or near Japan, resulting in human extinction even though the Muggles will be able to beat the first dozen or so... the assertion of Mugggle competence makes many dismiss the phenomenon despite its widespread nature, but there's enough hue and cry for a special reaction force to be put together... Naturally, with his evil-beating-down record and Saving People Thing (not to mention, oh, being the protagonist of the series) Harry Potter is a prominent member if not the leader of the ones who are sent. Of course, there's the little problem that they were expecting relatively normal Giants, not creatures so big that they can be seen by entire cities full of Muggles at once which suddenly appear within sight of such a city. Hands tied by the Statute of Secrecy, they hang back and the initial bombing in Evangelion Ep1 goes foreward as per canon. This probably also wipes out whichever wizards were closest, conveniently leaving Harry in charge instead of whatever annoying OCs may have been added for the purpose.

Then even after they get authorization to act outside the limits of the Statute of Secrecy (or just decide to ignore it since there's a bloody Titan sitting in the middle of Tokyo, still alive after being hit by the muggle "nucks" or whatever they were) there's the problem that while they can get through the the 3rd's shield with the more powerful spells, it's so damn big that even Cruciatus barely makes it notice them, and even after working up to use the Killing Curse it only results in the creature falling over as it loses use of both stubby legs and the narrow part of its waist. (Basically, this is the same as Orochimaru getting only his arms sealed when Sarutobi didn't have enough strength to get his whole soul, except that the Killing Curse doesn't require taking the user's life as well so Harry can make another attempt after recovering a bit from pouring so much magic into a single spell.) Having launched EVA 01 in time for it to be unintentionally tackled as the Angel falls over, and having counted on Yui's protectve instincts to send it berserk when Shinji inevitably got beat down, Gendo is not at all amused, even if the extra time while the Angel's lower body rapidly decomposes, drops off and regenerates means Shinji gets the unit vaguely under control enough to keep the angel's arms occupied and not throwing energy blasts while Harry gets in position to hit the angel's core with an AK, killing it without the massive explosion in the middle of the city. Episode one is thereby finished... and I don't like Eva enough to be able to write this, let alone any more.

#4 HP & The Affairs of Dragons

Lily Evans had a secret.

It was something she shared with her father, but never told her friends from school, or her childhood best friend Severus, or even her younger half-sister Petunia, whose life had been preserved at the cost of her own magic when an accident took their mother's life nearly a month before her due date. Her stepmum had known, because it wouldn't have been fair for Daddy to marry her without telling, but keeping the secret was very, very important. If people found out about it - especially the wizards and witches who hid themselves from the mundane world, with their arrogant intolerance and sense of superiority over anyone and anything that wasn't the same sort of magic user they were - it would have been troublesome at best.

That attitude had always amused and irritated Lily by turns - most were so magically crippled they couldn't cast a cantrip without a focus item to amplify thier power, but they still considered themselves the be-all and end-all of arcane might. Still, there were occasionally those whose heads were not so far up their own asses that they couldn't be straightened out... and wonder of wonders, it eventually turned out that one of the most infuriating of them all (James Potter! Who ever would have thought it?) was one such.

Him, she told her secret, if only after swearing him to keep it - it wouldn't have been fair, since she had decided to finally answer 'yes' to his proposal to marry. She would have liked to do without the oath, but her oldest friend Severus had turned on her not long before. If even he could have such a change of heart, how could she trust in James's friends either, however close?

In all of the so-called Wizarding World, only James Potter knew that his young wife was not the muggleborn witch everyone thought. That she could cast magic, spells of staggering power and ancient when humans were just getting the hang of fire, without so much as glancing at a wand. Only he knew that the rampaging dragon - a feathered type from the Americas called a Kukulkan, little known and thought extinct for centuries - who'd mysteriously torn apart several pureblood scions and leveled a residential block in the process in late 1979 in the town of Spinner's End before succumbing to greivous spell-damage, had not in fact been summoned by the Death Eaters who'd cast the Dark Mark in the sky overhead. That Jonothan Evans had been one of the many muggle residents of the area missing and presumed dead went largely unremarked by the Ministry for Magic disaster response team, but knowing her secret James also knew to rush home as soon as he could push his Auror duties off on a co-worker so he could console Lily for the loss.

The vicious attack on his own parents mere hours later, and the exact wording of a prophesy related by their former headmaster and current vigilante leader Albus Dumbledore convinced them to go into hiding, to give their infant son time to grow into his destiny. In the end, it proved they hadn't hidden well enough - or rather, that just as Lily had feared, even one of his oldest, most trusted freinds wasn't as worthy as they'd thought - and both of them perished, with only Lily's special, ancient magic saving the boy from the same fate.

And yet, that one, precious truth remained hidden thanks to how closely it had been held. Too well, perhaps, since there was now no one living who could explain it to the orphaned toddler when he was grown, but the truth often has its own way of pointing to itself. Even if it would take some time -

Harry Potter had a secret.

-----

This is my prologue for a Harry Potter/Tatsu no Kanshin crossover, where Lily and her father Jonothan were Plume Dragons (Thunderbird/Plains type, with red/yellow coloration) and her mother died when she was young. (Actually, it could be used for quite a number of possibile 'secrets,' and anyone is welcome to do so if you like.) Petunia is technically a half-dragon but the magic that kept her alive when her mother died before birthing her drained her core beyond recovery, leaving her unable to cast even with a focus let alone transform from her human body - the dragon clan elders couldn't even determine if her dragon body had developed to a viable state, so even if she had the inherent power to try doing so it might have been nothing but a particularly nasty means of suicide; under the circumstances binding magic was cast to prevent any such thing and she was never told about her lost ability because her jealousy over Lily's was bad enough as it stood.

Harry's transformation is not bound per se, and he turned into the cutest little wyrmling a time or two while his parents were in hiding, but due to his sharply restricted diet (sparse for a human child, all but starvation for a dragon) forced his body to put most of its limited resources to the human form - that he's runty and thin by merely human standards is especially telling. Even a full blooded Plume, the smallest and lightest built of the dragon clans, should be near standard height and well equipped with lean, dense muscle; as a half-breed he should have looked like a particularly athletic boy a couple years older at eleven, rather than a weedy nine. Along with the flying motorcycle dream, he'll later remember (after transforming on camera) dreaming about being a dragon, with fire breath and everything, and not-quite-flying despite a lot of wing flapping after jumping off the landing of a staircase.

A year or two of Hogwarts all-you-can-scarf meals should get his dragon body up to something approximating scratch enough for his subconscious to stop blocking it. My ideas for anything more are vague at best, but I think discovering a bit of wandless ability is enough of the dragon plot for 1st year, turning into a dragon should be reserved for confronting the basilisk in 2nd, as an automatic defense against its lethal gaze. Maybe combine this with the "Tonks in Harry's year" bunny to avoid a straight retelling since basically nothing happens between Halloween and Final Exams.

What to do after the reveal is even more open to question, aside from enjoying some fine flame-broiled snake barbecue. Turning into a giant, sharp-fanged beast and roaring in Marge's face until she faints in the summer before 3rd year (and possibly having a bulldog snack, at least as a reflex snap when it tries to protect her) seems rather more satisfying than just inflating her like a balloon, though - and Sirius revealing himself after seeing his godson as (what appears to be) a dragon animagus as a mere rising 3rd Year to congratulate him seems perfectly in character. "Bloody hell, Prongslet, a dragon animagus!? That's amazing! And you're only starting your third year; James and Lily would be over the MOON!"

The Accidental Magic Reversal Squad, of course, 'know better' than to think a magical creature is even possible for an animagus let alone for such a young boy, and simply report an illusionary manifestation and a lost pet (obviously the poor thing ran off after getting such a scare) and obliviate the Dursleys.

Keeping Dragon-ness secret from the Bad Guys means keeping it from Albus as well, since the idiot trusts Snape, and either one are a trick. Rolling out the old 'naturally impenetrable mind' chestnut is probably the only way, really, and even then only if Harry didn't tell his friends. Maybe Harry flips out when Hermione is petrified? He can find the paper identifying the monster of the year as a basilisk sooner, and run off after the smell of scales and mold he's been noticing, losing whoever might be chasing him when he takes a secret passage after a quick corner, then finding the snake while alone, transforming, snake steak barbecue, he leaps out a window and flees when the staff arrive and start hexing shortly after destroying the diary with a blast of dragonfire. Not knowing how to stop being a dragon he hides in the Forbidden Forest and discovers that giant spiders are good eatin', like the bit of crab meat he got to taste cleaning up after a party for one of Vernon's clients.

A missing Harry is always big news, perhaps a headline about that could prompt Sirius's escape rather than a picture with Wormtail in it. Reintroducing Dragon-Harry after a summer of hiding out shouldn't be too difficult - an opportune moment would be if he found the train tracks leading into Hogsmeade, and had lurked within sight to wistfully watch the Express pull in for what should have been his third year of Hogwarts, see the Dementors stop it by chilling the boiler with their auras, and prove that there is in fact something besides the Patronus charm that affects those foul shades; namely the fire breath of an irritated dragon.

As for why he doesn't just get confused by the feelings and freeze until he faints... he's still the same Harry, but he's also a dragon (especially when in dragon form, and having spent several months hunting and living by those instincts) and a threatened or confused dragon's instinct is to attack, what with the bone-deep certainty that a dragon is the baddest mammajamma in the Valley. Killing Jon Evans (who'd let himself go to pot physcally and magically after the death of his human wife, it being vanishingly rare to find a second compatible life-mate in the first place) in dragon form took Voldemort himself, and Tom had to portkey out and leave the minions to be slaughtered or it's quite possible Trelawney's prophesy would have been rendered moot before its conditions were met.

Hooking him up with Sirius when the fugitive arrives in the area would give access to 'anti-animagus lessons' so he could learn how to change back, and as the scion of a Most Ancient and Noble House (whether or not that actually has any special legal standing, as some fics propose) and plausibly out of reach when it came up in canon Siri could possibly also have had instruction in Occlumency which he could pass on to ... okay, realistically? Hermione and mental discipline yes, Ron, hell no - so he can get in touch with at least one of his freinds again. Maybe Luna could wander into their lair one day, greeting Harry as if he looked his old human self, and bring her offbeat brand of fun into the mix. Come to think of it, the 'clear your mind' stage of occlumency might well be a part of animagus training; the reason being one helped against dementors is that an animal's mind thinks in simpler ways, getting rid of the constant clutter of human thought so as to be closer to that state could well be part of the process, or to enable clearly visualizing the change to direct the magic.

Of course, the trouble is knowing they need to, but it's not likely the Headbastard's habit of scanning minds is anything new, so knowing it could well be how the Marauders kept their more hidden achievments (such as the existence of the Map and being animagi, rather than the pranks for which it's hard to take credit and still avoid consequences) as the secrets they quite evidently were.

I have no real ideas from there at all, except to have the final showdown (perhaps after running through the Triwizard somewhat similarly and leading to the graveyard, perhaps not - having the Beast Dragon of the First Task just cower away from Harry would be amusing, though unlikely - having him not involved but kidnapped out of the crowd with the 3rd task as a distraction would probably actually be semi-original. Better yet, he gets caught temporarily due to being unable to resist trying to talk with or even free the dragons brought in, not realising they're the dragon equivalent of chimpanzees to humans, and somehow (maybe he succeeds in freeing one or two?) becomes the challenge one of the Champions has to face despite not being female let alone a nesting mother) be dragon-Harry vs. a dragon-Voldemort.

#5 HP & The Obligatory Marriage Contract Fic

post-4th year, Harry is presented with a marriage contract to (insert death eater or blackmailed family's daughter here) signed "Head of House Potter" and stamped with the appropriate ring. He must comply or lose his magic, as with the Goblet of Fire. Investigating, the conclusion is that taking Harry's blood for his ressurection ritual acted like a blood adoption ritual (now illegal) once used by Pureblood families when they desired to adopt. As the only "blood descended" Potter who's of age, Headship devolved to Tom.

Now, theres a few ways to go from there - the immediate one that springs to mind is a similar blood adoption performed on Harry, because if Harry, blood of the House of Potter no longer exists, Harry Potter can not lose his magic, and penalties for failing to provide the contracted blood descendent for the marriage fall on the Head of House Potter instead, possibly also the girl depending on whether she was willing in the scheme or was also being coerced (as an authorial decision, not neccesarily inherent in the magic.) If she's written as a sympathetic character and forms a genuine attachment to Harry though the shared stress of the incident, perhaps they go through with the marriage but employ some other plan to head off whatever the follow-up is... or maybe the plan was to hide the contract until it passed the required date and squibbed both sides, but either the girl finds out on her own and gets her family's copy of the contract (any one will do for Harry to sign, all magically update to reflect it) or Daddy Deatheater isn't so devoted to Voldie that he'd do that to his little princess and sends it to her himself, probably just before offing himself to avoid being tortured horribly for weeks before being allowed to die as reward for ruining the plan. Actually, that leaves a different possible resolution - if Harry accepts taking her family name instead of bringing her into the Potter family, it's a magical adoption and he becomes Head of House (whatever) instead of a new cadet household of Potter, possibly with the help of a change in the will of now-dead Eater daddy to transfer the title and assets.

Daphne Greengrass or FemBlaise is the most common target of these things, Tracy Davis almost as often. Pansy Parkinson, given how she hangs off him all the time, is usually said to already have a contract with Draco, and with her expressed attitudes is really only viable for the 'girl is right in with the plan, has much to gain and/or thinks her magic is not at risk' version. Millicent Bulstrode, while repeatedly dismissed as overmuscled, homely, and stupid - basically a female version of Draco's gorillas - could easily be written so that Harry never bothered to look all that closely and yeah, she's no ethereal beauty but not about to stop a clock either, and not saying much to give an impression of intelligence is because she's (socially) shy/quiet by nature - going by the 'halfblood in Slytherin' convention it might not even be that but that the other members of her (school) House are quick to more or less literally (depending on story tone) smack her down if she does speak up or outdo them academically. So, she's my suggestion for female lead. Thinking about it, I don't actually know any fic she's in as more than a cameo except Doghead13's "The Book of Dobby Reboot: Per Arcana ad Astra" where she's a hardy, practical farm girl. That characterization is far from the only possible interpretation, but it's the one that got me thinking about her as more than, well, a female Crabbe or Goyle.

Something could probably be arranged by way of coercion to have it be any of the other witches vaguely around Harry's age, and for that matter there must be non-Slytherins with Death Eater parents, but for most of them it's little more than putting a canon name on an OC. Not that Millie's much better in that regard. If it's set 5th year, maybe it could be Marietta Edgecombe, being coerced into this rather than to betray the DA to the toad.

This could also be combined with any or all of the of the "Tonks in Harry's year," "Hermione's hallucination," "on the run with Slughorn" or "Harry is a dragon" bunnies - though the last two are contradictory as written. Doing it immediately after the Third Task also adds more possible female characters from the other schools, though the only memorable mention of the non-Champions from those schools aside from being part of a crowd is a Beauxbatons boy dancing with a Hogwarts girl I can't remember the name of at the Yule Ball.

#6 Terminator: Macross Chronicles

Originally, Judgement Day was supposed to be in 1999, and preventing or just pushing it back was quite enough for the time travelers of the Human Resistance to be concerned about. Never in their wildest dreams did they imagine that Skynet was in fact not the worst enemy they had to worry about...

...when they actually managed to push the destruction of human civilization back past early 2010, they suddenly discovered where a lot of the overtechnology neccessary for an independent, human sized and shaped robotic war machine came from: outer space. Not to mention the human shaped, six times human sized Super Terminators that had appeared in the post-apocalyptic future as that time had originally drawn nearer.

This unwelcome discovery came about because in 2010, giant alien humanoids arrived, investigating a crashed space ship that had gone unnoticed in the destruction of the original timeline's devastation, and was passed off as a freak meteor strike, kept secret by the world's goverments as racial near-extinction was shoved back through blood, sweat, and unrelenting determination. A dozen different ignition points for a world-wide war (that inevitably led to Skynet being put online) had been quashed, literally hundreds of researchers in robotics, artificial intelligence, and various other high technology sectors assassinated, and suddenly, suddenly, the lack of advanced combat robots meant Earth was all but defenseless against the giants and their even more massive robotic war machines.

And there seemed to be nothing the Resistance could do to prevent the aliens from a massed energy bombardment a few months later, one that turned the entire surface of the Earth above sea level to glass and ash, leaving only the deepest, most hardened bunkers even partly intact, destroying the biosphere and the infrastructure needed for the Machines' existence alike.

These were the circumstances that lead John Connor, heart and soul of the Resistance and the only person to have maintained a positive relationship with a Terminator for over a decade, to a conclusion that would have been unthinkable for any other: All the ground they'd gained must be sacrificed, all the changes to the past undone to find a different course, to somehow prevent the madness of Judgement Day while preserving the technological advancement that would give Earth a chance against the aliens.

For humanity to survive, Skynet MUST come online.

For a real chance at victory, every scrap of overtechnology they could puzzle out would have to be introduced as early as an agent with sufficiently deep cover could be put in place.

Humans and machines alike would have to adapt, to accept a partnership for their own survival.

There simply was no other option.

-------

I would love to read this fic, but I don't know enough of later Terminator lore (T3, Sarah Connor Chronicles) to even try to write it - it would mostly be in and before the Unification period of 1999-2010, so the Macross side is well documented, but for the rest all I have is Cameron and/or a micloned Meltran appearing, explaining the new timeline, then in the thing where they jump forward in Sarah Connor Chronicles they leap back a bit instead, to... I dunno, get John through High School and into the Air Force in time to be a contemporary of Roy Fokker? That doesn't address the problem of them being tracked by Terminators sent by the Skynet-that-was wanting to ensure its version of the future, with the Zhentleady considered nothing but a new variant of humans to be eliminated - getting into the military in that way would take a painfully laid paper trail, and tie them down to one identity and location without allowances for random cyborgs appearing and killing everyone in sight. Of course, this is Macross, where culture (particularly music) and emotion have scientifically measurable power and send ripples through the fabric of reality itself, so exposure to human society will have the infiltration models going Pinnocchio in no time.

#7 Harry Potter & The Great Escape

Begin with the typical immediately-post-Department of Mysteries shattering revalations, dead Siri, Prophesy, Ron and/or Hemrione slip up and reveal they've been reporting on Harry to Albus for years if not since the beginning, etc. Actually, if not for plot armor having his freinds betray him probably isn't even needed. Dursleys more horrible than ever after getting threatened by a freak squad at the platform, Harry doesn't succumb to plot stupidity and forgive the Headbastard for everything over the summer. Al shows up to retrieve him, Harry is subdued because he's making the old college try at getting along with the so-called Leader of the Light, but seeing the way he's playing Slughorn to get him to come teach, Harry can tell that it's still busines as usual for People Are My Playthings Dumbledore. Then Albus leaves them alone for a few minutes.

-----

Harry fixed the round little man with the walrus moustache with an assessing look, and after a moment the genial facade faded a bit, and he saw something just as calculating looking back. He suddenly knew what he had to do: Like in Checkers, the only way to be more than a pawn was to become a king.
"Master Slughorn, I'm going to be honest with you," he began, using the formal title a Mastery entitled the man to rather than the "Professor" that had more to do with a position he'd once held, and that the Headmaster wanted to persuede him to hold again. "This whole thing with Voldemort, it's bound to get worse before it gets better. He's had a whole year to prepare while the Ministry did nothing, and for all people seem to expect me to solve the problem again I've had nothing but the normal course at Hogwarts, and to be frank spent more of that time chasing the Headmaster's little mysteries or in the Hospital Wing than concentrating on my studies. The best thing you could do is bugger off before Dumbledore gets back, and that's no lie. But please, sir, consider taking me along as well? You clearly know a lot about staying out from under the eyes of powerful wizards, and I managed an E OWL at Potions. If you'd be willing to take an apprentice who has to wear a glamer in public I expect I'd do a lot better at it when the instructor isn't a Death Eater who had a personal feud with my father."

Slughorn swallowed heavily and quivered at the Dark Lord's name, shifted his eyes about and looked ready to bolt even as the advice to do so came out of Harry's mouth. The boy's next few words, though, froze him to his seat as if he'd been transfigured back into a chair, and he stared into those serious emeralds, so reminiscent of one of the best students he'd ever had the pleasure to teach. Albus had found him once, surely he could again, or ... the other one. But then, he had to admit to himself, he'd gotten a little lax in the past week or two, longing for the comforts that being on the run made difficult to accquire. It might even be easier with two, different builds and all to base disguises on. And the payoff to be had later, to be known as the man who trained the Boy-Who-Lived when Albus himself seemed to have skipped over that opportunity... Being called 'Master' by such a well-known figure had sent a little thrill down his spine, and with an apprentice it was always the proper formal address. Ever so slowly, he felt his head nod, as he reached for the pocketwatch he'd had charmed as a portkey to the Continent and held it out to the young lad. It would be a shame to leave the homey shores of Britain, but needs must when the dragon drives.

Albus gave a grandfatherly grin as he returned to the room and saw Horace and his young protege clasping hands - at least he did until he realised they were clasped around his reluctant Professor's watch, a watch which the man was tapping his wand to.

"Activate!"

The Headmaster let out a rather different sort of grandfather's stream of curses as the two vanished in the characteristic bright swirl of a long-range portkey.

-----

So, yeah. Sluggy teaches Harry how to cast silently, and the ingedient properties and such that Snape never bothered to mention in class. Knowing the need to look this stuff up and alter the textbook recipes to get better results takes more time but Harry can brew every assignment he's given with medical-grade results. Though far too ... cautious ... to risk legilimizing someone with a mental connection to He Who Must Not Be Named to test it, Sluggy also gives him some actual instructions on HOW to clear and organise his mind for Occlumency. Somewhere along the way, while Sluggy is enjoying a bit of his favorite wine, he admits to knowing something about how Voldie survived the rebounding AK. Later, with the two of them fleeing active pursuit, he gives Harry a little bottle of Felix Felicis he's been hanging on to, hoping a sip of liquid luck will let the lad find some way out for the both of them. It works, but Harry also manages to talk him into admitting the truth of the Horcrux situation before it wears off.

With the cat out of the bag, discussion of what they are and how to destroy them follows, with Fiendfyre dismissed as far, far too dangerous (by the ever-cautious Slughorn at least, though Harry keeps it in mind as an option if he ever finds out how to cast it) only something like basilisk venom would do the trick - and good luck getting ahold of any of that! Of course, Harry knows just where he could get hold of some of that, and the rest of a millenium-old basilisk (except for the eyes) as well. Tempted by the thought of such a wealth of potions ingredients and in the wake of their close brush with Death Eaters, Slughorn decides it's really for the best if they appeal to the Headmaster's better nature and share a bit of information, only person You-Know-You ever feared and all don't you know. Much safer to be inside Hogwarts' famously redoubtable defenses than running about from one temporarily vacant townhouse to the next, what?

For extra points, have Harry suggest investigating the Potter and Black inheritances, or at least getting some gold to fund their journey from his vault at Gringotts, and Slughorn warns him against it because the little buggers will tell anyone who hands them a galleon anything they want to know, and have quite thorough and horrible protections against invisibility and disguises. Aside from that, the laws are quite strict, no inheritance can be claimed until the heir is of age. No, perhaps if he had a house elf a withdrawal order could be sent for his trust vault, but showing up in person, why they'd be lucky if they made it to the cart track before everyone who'd thought to bribe a goblin to let them know if one of them walked into the lobby showed up. This would explain how Sirius managed it, and leave things open for Dobby to be a go-between, but considering his established attitude and what Harry has done for him in the past help from Dobby is fair to expect. On the other hand, perhaps Dobby is verry sorrys Mr. Harry Potter Sir, but only a bonded elf can takes his master's orders to nasty Goblingins. Mr. Harry Potter Sir is a very very great wizard and would certainly treat his elf very much better than Very Naughty Bad Master Malfoy, but Dobby is very much enjoyings the being free, and -

About here is where Harry cuts in with reassurances that he doesn't want Dobby to be a slave again even to him, they'll find another way, or another elf that does want to be bonded. Winky can't have been the only elf freed who didn't want to be, without actually doing anything wrong. If Winky is still alive and can be pulled out of the bottom of her butterbeer bottles, then perhaps she could do it. It's a sad commentary on the state of affairs in Potter canon when Winky and Luna are the only major characters I can think of who never did Harry a bad turn. They... aren't that major, after all. Hum, maybe Bill & Charlie Weasley, too?

Cue return to Hogwarts, in time to spend an afternoon watching Tom Riddle Mystery Theatre (rather than wasting a whole year for six bloody half-hour sessions) and the happy or not reunion or not with whatever of Harry's freinds are deemed worth writing into the rest (personally, I'd boot the Weasel in favor of Luna, she's fun and he's the same jealous prat as the eleven year old who almost wouldn't bend his pride to trade a sandwich for some candy on the Express - with a whole year of Won-won and Lav-lav and no Harry to be a damping rod/stress doll I doubt Hermione would even be speaking to the dip by then.) Zombies of the Dead Pool, bublebees fall out of the sky, Snape goes to join his Master. Yawn.

The real hard part is making anything worth the effort of writing it out of book 7, with its suddenly appearing Plot Coupons of Uberness and extended camping expedition with no plan or direction.

-------

Just to break up all the Potter - Consider: Starlight Breaker vs. Dragon Slave. I'm not sure who wins, but the real estate owners definitely lose.

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#8 Handle With Care

If you treat things carelessly and leave them lying around, you shouldn't be surprised if someone else picks them up and takes them home. No matter who it is, or what sort of person they turn out to be...

Father Anderson was stumbling along as he made his way through the cold winter night in Surrey, England. If the gossip-starved housewives of the suburban street had seen it, they'd doubtless have been clucking over drink in the Church, but the truth was that he never touched a drop aside from a sip at Communion, for his body was a Temple of God and to defile it with alchohol would be a sacrilege. No, he'd been beset by violence while in the duties of his office, and only now managed to recover enough to regain his feet after being tossed, a blood-soaked mess, in a dumpster earlier that evening. Under the circumstances then, it was perhaps excusable for him to be muttering about Protestants, monsters, and hellfire, and that between that and the lingering pain he hadn't noticed the brief blackout of the streetlights that had ended just before he turned fully onto Privet Drive.

There are a great many things that can be said about Father Alexander Anderson, Paladin of the Catholic Church, member of the secret Vatican Division XIII "Iscariot." He is a fanatic, he is pathologically hostile to non-Catholics, he possesses an ability to recover from truly terrifying levels of damage - rather than the simple mugging one might expect from his current levels of injury, he had in fact been shot over one hundred times and had every bone in his limbs and most of his ribs shattered earlier, and his black clerical outfit was doubly dark and completely stiff with dried blood. Even as he took another step, the shredded skin showing through the tatters where jagged bone had torn out of his lower leg came together and reformed into a whole, and his stride evened out at last.

One thing he was not, however, was a monster.

So, when he heard the restless sounds of a fussy toddler not quite waking up as he tried to roll over in a basket on the step of the house he happened to be passing by, he immediately investigated, and was horrified to discover a child, younger even than the ones at the orphanage where he often spent his down time, abandoned to the elements on such a night. With a sneer and a renewed condemnation of the damned godless Protestants of the Church of England he snatched the child up and clutched him to his chest, kicking the basket aside with barely contained fury. It was all he could do not to storm inside and send the pigs that would commit such an act to the eternity in the Lake of Fire they so richly deserved, but time enough for that later, perhaps, for now he must get the poor boy to shelter. The cold November air was bad enough, but if his opponent happened to come back in search of a rematch... normally, Anderson would welcome the chance for another round with Hellsing's abomination, but the life and soul of this innocent were in his hands more directly than usual. The blond man undid the clasps of his jacket - riddled with bullet holes and stiff with blood, but otherwise mostly intact - and wrapped it around the boy to better shield him from the wind and share the furnace warmth of the Regenerator's body heat, currently considerably elevated as his supernaturally blessed immune system eliminated contaminants from he many wounds he'd borne and tissues reknit at unearthly rates.

There was something else, though, as he strode down the quiet suburban street, legs almost fully recovered after the short rest. Something from the child in his arms. Something that resonated with the feeling of the holy power that granted him his legendary durability in the service of the Lord... it was faint, undeveloped and untrained, but...

This child, surely not much more than a year of age, had the potential to become a Regenerator. He was sure of it. Paladin Anderson grinned a shark-toothed grin of anticipation at the thought of what the two of them could accomplish, once the boy had grown and been trained. Though he was by his own admission a man of direct action and left it to his superiors in the Church to direct his movements and activites outside of battle, he was also quite a bit older than he looked thanks to his holy gifts and perfectly capable of long-term thought and planning. Yes, this Harry Potter would be raised according to good Catholic principles, (Just as well he'd stayed his hand from carrying out more violent impulses at that doorstep - the letter he'd found while adjusting the boy's blanket indicated he'd been left there without the owners' knowledge. He'd certainly be on the look out for this 'Dumbledore' heathen in the future, however) and when the time came he would become Anderson's disciple in monster hunting.

Reaching the Iscariot safe house on Juniper Parkway at last, he laid the boy down on an overstuffed chair in the sitting room, then threw back his head and laughed.

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Um, yeah. I siriously have NO idea whatsoever how this could be taken forward - the Catholics are the 'stealth villains' of Hellsing; while the Nazi-remnants of Das Millenium just want to go out with a bang and rid the world of Alucard along the way, with blood spilled on either side mainly counted as a bonus rather than a goal in itself, Iscariot wants to slaughter every non-human and non-Catholic in the world, and are proud to announce it whenever confronted. At the same time, they honestly believe that they are heroes, sheltering the souls of the faithful. A Harry raised by them would without question see the existance of a society of witches who openly venerate Merlin and Morgana as anathema to be cleansed with fire, and the only way any HP canon character could be preserved as anything but an opponent would be as an Iscariot agent gathering information on the Wizarding World in order to make sure it was destroyed root and branch to eliminate the possibility of a return - a Muggleborn is the only option there, which immediately points to Hermione out of his contemporaries since there's hardly any others who get more than a throw-away mention; just the Creevey brothers, Anthony Goldstein in Ravenclaw, a 'Puff I can't remember the name of, and maybe a couple more. Percy's girlfriend Penelope Clearwater maybe? I can't even think of any significant adult characters who are muggleborn; the only name that jumps to mind at all is Ted Tonks, and I don't think he ever appears directly let alone getting any lines - the floor to cieling prejudice and the fact that they go through a seven-book conflict over it just to keep everything the same in the end is the thing I loathe most about Potter canon.

Back to the point... By the sheer nature of the Hellsing world it would almost have to be a Darkfic, even if Harry has enough self-control (Iscariot agents do seem to be on the "shoot first, shoot often, decapitate and incinerate it to make sure, ask questions never" side of "see enemy, kill enemy") to be inserted as a similar infiltrator himself at eleven, pretending to go along with the assertion that the ability to cast spells is not inherently diabolic or divine, merely an energy manipulation that most humans are incapable of. Even so, I can't see the ruse lasting long enough to encompass a single actual class...

...walling in Snape with holy wards as Anderson does to Seras due to the dark magic (and Mark) staining his soul is an image that refuses to leave me, however.

Basically, this bunny grew from the original idea of Harry being raised devoutly religious by the Dursleys so he'd rejct magic as the power of hell, and then realising that the Dursleys are nowhere near pious enough to go through with it - so perhaps someone saved him from their doorstep! "Okay, now who would be the worst possible religiously faithful character to raise Harry, from a wizards' perspective? Hm, maybe the Hellsing organization? No, no, Anderson! MUAHAHAHA!"

#9 (This Title Is Classyfied Top Secreymost)

Darkness has come to Magical Britain.

The weight of Destiny, the fate of the world itself, bears down on one, slim pair of shoulders.

His mentor, the greatest wizard in the world, is dead.

Hogwarts Scool of Witchcraft and Wizardry, setting of all his best memories, has fallen, those who would keep it a place of safety and learning for all have fled or were slain in the rear guard.

He and his most loyal friends have been forced to ground, where they concoct one, last, desperate plan.

A magic out of legend, imagined by the oddest of Ravenclaws and hammered into a semblance of function by the brightest of Gryffindors.

The theory says it might work. Their worst estimates say it will destroy the entire universe. The rebuttal is that that's the point, and that simple destruction would be a mercy compared to Voldemort's eternal rule.

Yesterday, Today, and every Tomorrow will all hinge on him...

DOBBY ELF AND THE REVISIONIZING OF HISTORICITY

...because no one will notice him until it's too late...

...because no human can survive transit outside of time...

...because despite any prophesy, Harry Potter is already dead.

HOPPING SOON TO
A HUTCH NEAR YOU

(Bet you thought it was Yet Another Harry Goes Back fic, didn't you? Nyah nyah!)

(Rorschach did a semi-parody version of this in Odd Ideas, too, in three chapters)

-----

Harry hoisted Griphook onto his shoulders and grabbed Dobby by one arm, listening to Bellatrix screeching behind them as he ran. His leg twinged where a curse had grazed it, and he spun to the right instead of the left to disapparate, desperately hoping it wouldn't make a difference...

A thunderbolt wrapped in ice slammed into his chest from the side, driving the breath from his lungs with a whoosh just before he vanished with a loud -crack.- As the uncomfortable squeezing sensation of apparition pressed in on him the pain hit, and it was all he could do to hold onto the idea of his destination, knowing that getting splinched now would surely mean death - for him, for his passengers, and eventually for everyone he knew without him there to fulfill the bloody prophecy somehow.

Then they were bursting into the light and open air at Shell Cottage, and his chest was simultaneously ice cold and white-hot with pain. His lungs were locked up with cramps - he couldn't breathe! Weak with shock and the creeping edge of panic, Harry looked down at himself, even as he lost his balance and fell to his hands and knees. Dobby squirmed loose, and the goblin was unceremoniously dumped off his shoulders by the shift in position, but it was the hilt of Bellatrix's dagger that held all of his attention, buried up to the crossguard between his ribs.

"Oh... shite..." he wheezed, a trickle of blood escaping with the last of is breath - it was all he could do to roll onto his side as the strength in his arms failed. Harry looked up at where Dobby was leaning over him, at Ron and Hermione and Luna rushing toward him, but all he could hear was the terrible ringing silence of no blood rushing in his ears, and all he could think was how he'd completely, horribly failed at the crucial task he'd been entrusted with.

Harry Potter's last words were "I'm sorry," mouthed silently to the freinds begging him to hold on just a bit longer, as Luna dashed tears away from her suddenly all-too-focused eyes and grabbed one of the wands clutched in his hand, desperately casting what little healing magic she knew.

Then he died.

Not long afterward, he spent a good while cussing out a meddling old man who'd been waiting for him in a place that looked very like King's Cross Station, but without having solved the entirely-too-vague riddles said meddler had left behind his options were limited to continuing on or becoming a ghost, essentially powerless to affect the living world and easy prey for the Dementors roaming Britain in ever greater numbers. In the end, he proved that even in the half-world between life and death, it's possible to break an old fool's nose and that doing so induces considerable pain and bleeding, before getting on a train to be reunited with those who'd gone ahead. Much though Harry hoped otherwise, it probably wouldn't be long before the rest of the people he cared for joined them anyway, at this point. So much for the power of prophesy, though he shouldn't have expected much from bloody Trelawney to begin with.

A billowing miasma of dark magic had burst out of his scar as soon as the light left his eyes and nearly possessed Hermione, her head still swimming from torture, until Luna managed to conjure her platypus patronus and drove it off.

With Harry dead, hope became scarce for the few who dared to resist Voldemort's conquest - Griphook, ungrateful wretch, had vanished overnight with the Sword of Griffindor, and whatever purpose the snitch Dumbledore had left for Harry was supposed to serve, it was lost now since it had been put in Harry's mokeskin pouch and only he could have retrieved it. After a despairing comment from Hermione, wishing she still had the time-turner from her third year (though even then they wouldn't be able to change what had already happened, maybe they could find a way to fake it to look the same) Ron and Dobby had staged a second raid into the Department of Mysteries. Their aim was to burgle the Time Room, but with the defenses in place instead of disabled as the Death Eaters had left them for the trap at the end of Fifth Year and much smaller numbers, Ron was pinned down by spellfire and had to order the little elf to leave with what little they'd managed to grab before being detected - no time turners, just the big jar of glittering sand with a pheonix egg constantly hatching and reforming, repaired from where an unlucky Death Eater's head had once smashed in the side and been reverted to a baby.

The story of Ron's execution for treason was covered in the Prophet the next day along with veritaserum-extracted testimony of Harry Potter's death, and that was really the end. Hermione fled to try to de-obliviate her parents in Australia with Luna, Dean, Mr. Ollivander, Dobby, and a sparse handful of younger students Neville and the DA had managed to smuggle out of Hogwarts. They also managed to steal most the the Restricted Section out of the school library, between the collusion of several of the staff, elf magic, and the distraction of the senior DA members' last stand, simply for the sake of keeping such dangerous information out of the hands of the villains rapidly overtaking their world.

Luna had been the one to actually begin the project, though she considered it more a matter of continuing Ron's effort - she'd had quite the crush on the redhead before Hogwarts, and on Harry more recently. She sold Hermione on it with an arithmantic presentation that seemed to show it was possible, and an unusually pointed emotional appeal to not let the two boys' deaths have been in vain. Even so, nothing material and no human magic could be sent back in time, even with the young Ravenclaw's theory...

...but elf magic was different. Closely related to the fae, around whom time was always a bit strange, and with the help of the eternal pheonix finally released from its birth and unbirth cycle, plus the huge supply of Sands of Time - Hermione was horrified to learn that it was actually the powdered wings of uncountable thousands of fairies contained in the jar - they were able to work out a way to send someone's mind back to their earlier self. It would utterly detroy their universe, of course - that was the point, after all - but that person, that elf, would be able to change the past from the point of their arrival on.

And so, seeking to travel into the past within the Very Great And Most Marvylest Wizard Harry Potter Sir's lifetime, Dobby Elf stepped into the Quantum Exotemporal Arcano-Accelerator Circle ... and vanished.

If you don't want to deal with the repeat DoM raid, maybe they have to spend months at sea, fishing for Time Tuna...

-----

This one, I can see happening in one of two ways - Dooby goes back to right after he's freed at the end of CoS, because otherwise he'd still be bound to the Malfoys and risk being caught and ordered to explain himself, thereby SERIOSLY blowing the time stream, or he's automatically freed because the (s)elf sent back is free, so he appears well before the books begin - possibly even during the first round of Voldie vs. World, to find and destroy the Seven Plot Coupons of Immortality before Halloween 1981, or even further to keep them from being made in the first place depending on how old Dobby actually is. Of course, the latter ruins the Quantum Leap-ish 'within Harry Potter Sir's lifetime' line, but oh well. The whole point is to try to come up with a semi-original premise, and 'destroy the horcruxes before Baby Harry whups Voldieshorts' is one I've never seen - and the only 'prevent horcrux creation' plots have been 'redeem child-Riddle' rather than 'beat him as a young, pre-organisation dark wizard.'

#9b - That last one could make for a nifty crime-drama fic - maybe send Amelia Bones (or Moody, come with the Order?) back instead, having a mishap in the Time Room after noticing the Department of Mysteries door ajar on a late-night run to the courtroom to look for a bit of missing paperwork, then it's an initially rather confused Auror Trainee Bones 'following a hunch' on the Hepzibah Smith murder, dragging along her more skeptical mentor Alastor Moody. With the world she left not being FUBAR (from her point of view at least) and the mindset of being dedicated to obeying the law and preserving order, she'd need to do something right away while still confused that makes major changes without giving her away, though, so she has the grounds to say 'oh well, take it as it comes' and throw the history she knew out the window. Maybe drop in in the middle of a firefight, one she's dreamed of doing differently a lot of times due to making a mistake and having 'the one that got away' do something major a little while later - but this time, she's not stuck in the old pattern, when 'the dream' gets to that moment she pulls it off and nails him. There's a jarring wrench, the world stops being hazy and floaty, and there's Bigfish, stunned on the ground with the evidence to send him to Azakaban still clenched in his hand. Alakazoot! History is now! A camphor block in the stream is you!

What do I mean by that? Well, HP canon baically pisses all over the good guys, so it's something to make it smell a little sweeter in the restroom of history. Probably only guys will get this joke. Having thought of it, this seems a rather more Alastor Moody thing to do, and making him a major character is rare, too.

#10 Honky Panky?

Nymphadora Tonks was in an uncharacteristic sulk as she slouched into the seat of an empty compartment near the back of the Hogwarts Express.

"Well MY school days are off to a GREAT start," she grumbled sarcastically to herself. First she'd caught a late bout of Dragon Pox that had forced the family to put off the trip to get her supplies until the last minute, because the metamorph talent she hadn't known she had worked subconsciously to shift away the telltale symptoms until it overcame her juvenile magical core, and only her father's expertise as a Healer saved her life when she suddenly dropped from fever and magical exhaustion.

Then, in the rush to get everything she needed on the last day before boarding the train, that STUPID fluke accident in Slugg & Jiggers - and for once it wasn't even one of her klutz attacks; some berk with a broomstick over his shoulder had knocked a display rack off the other side of a shelf, where it fell on her and dumped a dozen smashed vials of Draught of Living Death in her face.

She was starting Hogwarts six years late! Not only that, the potions to help her magical core recover from the stress of the illness had been prevented from wearing off, so its growth wasn't slowed as completely as the rest of her - sure, she'd probably be a lot more powerful as an adult witch, but the sudden surge between when she passed out in the Apothecary in August 1985 and woke up in her bedroom in July 1991 meant her control was abysmal - she'd had more accidental magic episodes in the last weeks than she had since she was five!

Even worse, it seemed like she couldn't go five minutes without klutzing out, as the awakened shifting talent, seemingly eager to be used after so long dormant, changed the length of her legs in mid-step or arms in mid-reach... and that wasn't even mentioning how her hair, eyes, even skin color morphed at the slightest shift in mood. Supposedly she was going to be getting special tutoring from the Transfiguration professor to control the shifts, and some mental control thing with Headmaster Dumbledore himself to help with her emotions until then, but Human Transfiguration was usually a seventh-year subject, and even the ecto- octo- occarina-mancy? No, that was some kind of small flute, but it was a word like that - would take months at best! She could see her skin turning grey and a dishwater-brown curtain extending to cover her face as she despaired at the thought of being 'that freak-girl with the funny name.'

She sniffled, just a little, as the compartment door slid open, but peeked though a gap in the long fringe of hair at the boy standing at the doorway uncertainly. His eyes widened as she forced unhappy thoughts away to offer a greeting, pallid skin regaining color and screening hair shrinking away to a cute pixie-cut in warm mahogany red-brown. The murky grey of her irises brightened a bit to a stormy blue as the younger-than-she-should've-been witch put on a grin and said, "Hey, wot'cher up to? First year too?"

-----------

And cue Harry Potter, finding a seat in what would otherwise be the last unoccupied compartment. Why do this? Because Tonks is fun, and having her a seventh year in Harry's first makes it a pain to involve her in any meaningful way before the series turned to crap.

Maybe with two non-slacker friends to counterbalance Ron "Fair-Weather" Weasley Harry won't be so frustratingly obtuse? Tonks is usually said to have been a 'Puff or a 'Claw depending on how her powers work in the fic in question; with the urgent pressure of picking up mind magic and advanced transfiguration for its own sake - or power over self/environment rather than others at any rate - I'd put this version of her firmly in Ravenclaw, and conversation with Hermione and Harry could concievbly steer them that way as well, where the red-headed millstone has no chance of following. Hermione after all certainly has the academic prowess, and canon Harry manages to get by with medium-high marks despite all the distractions and constant slacking until the last minute. The hat tells him he could do well in any house; following the two of his new friends sorted before him would be reason enough to ask for Ravenclaw. Depending on where you place Dumbledore on the Incompetent-to-Heartless-to-Evil scale a Harry whose House environment encourages him to think things through and ask questions could go a good ways toward foiling the well-meaning/manipulative/dastardly plots surrounding him as well.

Or she could go into Gryffindor with the rest of them, of course. Or have a cross-house freindship.

Her shifting in front of him is apt to bring to mind the hair-regrowth incident from childhood, but whether that turns out to be an otherwise dormant/uselessly minor metamorph talent or just the accidental magic it canonically was, is open to development. As 'claws, the improved recall and concentration of occlumency would attract them to having her pass the lessons on, if one operates by the (quite reasonable) theory of the methods employed by Snape's lessons were (at best) only one of several ways to train the skill, or (more likely given the repeated, overall 'good takes it in the face, evil gets off easy' theme of the series) deliberate torment/sabotage. Yeah, I'm kind of down on the HP setting recently - as far as I can see, Harry's top five enemies are Dumbledore, Snape, Umbridge, Skeeter, and only then Voldemerde... if Draco wasn't such an incompetent pissant he could knock Tom out of the top five, and taken as a group I'm not entirely persueded the Dursley family doesn't. And yet, almost all the bunnies I've been getting are Potter bunnies. Go figure.

Heheheh... Voldemerde. "Tired of dealing with You-No-Poo? Strike back with Voldemerde! For a more 'regular' dark load!"

#11 No Henshin?
"Okay, I got your henshin pen from Lu- er - from the top-secret Moon Cave, so here it is!" Usagi chirped. "Just hold it up and say the first thing that comes to mind!"

Sailor Moon handed the glitter-laden, oversized pen with its big gaudy jewel of a clicky-button to the redhead, who looked at it dubiously even as the mark flared on her forehead again. She sighed, and held it half-heartedly overhead.

"This feels really stupid," Ranma deadpanned.

The pen shot a few raspberry-colored sparks and made a rude noise.

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If this was just a LITTLE bit shorter I'd be tempted to .sig it. Maybe if I cut the narration paragraph? That would drop it to four lines, and still be reasonably understandable.

#12 Puckles: The Continuation, or Random Invisible Girl?

Hermione has been seeing things - she thinks. A naked girl who hovers around Harry, but not a ghost - a little transparent like one, but its clear no one else can see her, and that her touch doesn't cause a chill, because she's thought she's seen the girl doing ... things ... and while it does sometimes make Harry jump and/or shiver, it's not in the way that would say he's feeling cold. No. But Harry wouldn't do that sort of thing, right? It must be her imagination... Hermione is quietly (for her, mainly meaning she isn't nagging the boys into helping) going a bit spare with added studying trying to find out what might be wrong with her or else what's haunting Harry. (Third year is best, I think, with the time-turner)

Then one day, the hallucination-girl is waiting in the stairs to the girls' dorm when she comes down early for a pre-breakfast library visit.

"Master's Hermione can see Jenny," she said, in a matter-of-fact way. A light poke on the arm confirmed, "She feels Jenny, too," although the loosely hanging student robes didn't move even as the specter's finger passed through them, nor did the blouse she wore underneath press into her, just the warm feeling of a normal finger as if on bare skin.

(blah blah blah)

"You're an intelligent being! You shouldn't have to call anyone 'master' and I can't believe Harry makes you! I thought much better of him!"

"Master is telling Jenny the same thing, so Jenny will tell Master's friend the same answer: Master's big magic makes anything do. Fly crazy on broom not fall off? Do. Fly without broom, even? Do. Hide secret from Evil Old Man and Dungeon Bat? Little tricky, but do. Make weak, tiny spirit strong? Oh, very easy do. Make stupid spirit have thinking, so someone to talk to when Evil Dursleys lock up? Even that, big magic do. Magic not needed to give Jenny name, just Master's big heart, but even that Harry do. Master gives Jenny all these things, and Jenny is not ungrateful brat like Stupid Dudley, so Jenny is promise to give them back to Master, every day, to help Master every way Jenny can. Swear on Big Magic, to help Harry and keep secrets safe! But Master's friend Hermione knows important secret now, sees Jenny, so Jenny asks Hermione to swear on Big Magic too." Seeing the indignation, fairly well damped by the torrent of explanation, building back up in the human girl's eyes, Jenny quickly added, "Not having to call Master; Master gives Hermione friendship, not everything. Just have to keep secrets safe. Hermione's magic is almost big enough, Jenny can give a little and it work."

"Wait, what do you mean my magic isn't big enough to swear? I've read about magical oaths, anyone with the least magic can use one, even a few squibs have been bound by them!" Hermione protested.

"Small magic," Jenny replied, dismissively and less than helpfully. Seeing the lack of enlightenment in Hermione's eyes, she continued, "Small magic, like classes, work small ways, follow rule other person make, other person can use rule to get around. Big Magic follow only rule made when magic used, no one else's. Sometimes do small thing, sometimes do big thing, but always need big power to make the rule. If magic like water, then Master has a bucket, Jenny helps Master hide a beer stein, Evil Old Man has teacup, most others in Hogwarts have thimble. Hermione, kitchen spoon. If Jenny gives Hemrione a little more, maybe double, you has enough for Big Magic that does small thing like keep secrets, forget for a while if someone tries to make tell or to steal with magic until safe to remember again. Have to keep giving for a while until spoon grows to teacup, but that just end of term, no problem."

(blah? Blah blah?)

"Master's magic too much big, breaks rule small spell tries to follow and fail. Spell only works after practice to use smaller enough power, or make spell all over with Big Magic. Difficult to hide, even with Jenny taking so much magic Jenny almost burns up every day to make Master's magic easier to get small."

(Blah blah! Blah?)

"Oh yes, Jenny is learning much speaking from Dobby! Master and Jenny is hearing thoughts so not needs speakings, but for Dobby and Master's Hermione, Jenny has learned to make sounds. Very hard, air not alive, Jenny can't touch. Jenny is using Big Magic to shake the air, make voice. Very very hard sound like voice, make words well. Jenny still learning how words go together for speakings, not same as thinks."

This last couple of sections doesn't really count as story bunnies - one is musings about the possible nature of magic in a Lovecraft cross (which would actually be entirely HP canon compatible) and the other is for an enchanted artefact I think would be neat.

Perhaps there's a deeper reason why the good guys get shat on repeatedly and the bad guys get off light, and why those with the most immersion in magic have the least common sense. The 'cute' wand-and-incantation magic, that does so very little and is so mundane compared to most 'high fantasy' settings like the Wizarding World appears to be despite being scabbed onto the backside of the modern world that it's safe to teach to eleven-year-olds and be used by housewives to peel potatoes and unplug the drains, is just the outer layer of a carefully consstructed set of protections that most don't even know exist.

The wand itself seperates the actual channeling of magic from the caster, so it doesn't suffuse their bodies to the point of corruption. The wand motions are keys to access specific categories of magical action like library includes in a computer program. The incantations are meaningless in themselves, but must be unique - the meat of the process of spell-crafting is creating the links between the incantation and what the spell actually does, again somewhat similarly to writing a very simple computer program - the sort that you put a copy of in a folder with a few input files, double click, possibly type a few things into a popup, and it creates an output file, or which simulates playing a card game.

Silent casting is simply a matter of directing the meaning of the incantation into the magic without speaking aloud - and inevitably requires and causes deeper mental connection (and hence contamination) with the underlying irrationality of the innately unnatural forces that actually do the work. In the days of the Founders, they knew this, and only those who actually needed such things for their intended profession (which are few - researchers and combat magi, mostly) actually continued to that level. Somehow, over the intervening millenium, the recognition of the dangers of progressing beyond the wading pool of magic has been lost, and only the greater depths are given anything like the concern they deserve.

Even then, the number of people who even know that the 'bottom of the swimming pool' is actually just a false floor described by the limits of the 'spellcrafting libraries' that have been compiled (going back to the programming metaphor) to make use of the actual magic that they stay carefully seperated from. Even the magic conventionally considered "Dark Arts" - the Unforgiveables and so on - are still just spells of this level, but ones which whether through poor design or malicious intent of the crafter (as minions who are insane enough not to care what they do to your enemies are useful to a certain sort of leader) and cause mental and magical contamination beyond the norm. The requirement of a certain emotional focus in the caster is a primary indicator of technically defined Dark Arts; it means that the spell is sloppily designed and magic is flowing through the caster to the point that if their internal magic does not resonate to the neccessary degree it will fail or that the effect is created through a harmonic or intereference effect between the cast spell and the user's innate magic. Yes, under this system the Patronus would in fact be Dark Arts.

Beyond that, is like working in assembler code - finicky, only possible by dint of long study and memorization of vast amounts of information that, individually or when arranged to perform a function, make no sense to a human mind, and regarded as insane outside of a few sharply delimited purposes which mostly amount to "enable the use of more logically accessible tools with this functionality" whether that means creating a spellcrafting library to do new magic, creating a more efficient way for wand-and-word spells to function (like writing a new Java virtual machine) or enchanting objects to perform complex magical functions on command (like an appliance with an embedded processor.)

Magic cast on this level is a long and complicated affair, involving much chanting, use of ritual and alchemical components, and so on. It inherently forbids the use of a wand or similar focus to keep the spell seperate from the caster's magic, as the interaction of the caster's core and the various other parts of the proceedure are what actually cause the magical effect. This also means that with the exception of finished enchanted items where the user's magic is only a power source or monitored for silent commands (like the controls of a broomstick) each spell at this level must be personalized to function with the caster's unique magical signature. Learning how to analyse magic do so is the core of Arithmancy up to OWL level, actually doing it in limited ways is NEWT material but truly delving into the subject is far beyond the bounds of a school setting, and with the nature of Mythos magic leads far beyond the bounds of sanity. Note that this means that peer review and reproducibility, two key pillars of the Scientific Method, are inherently impossible for magic at this level - results vary with the weather and the mood, let alone between two different casters. This is where being raised in magical society begins to have tangible benefits; where Hermione would have to prove to herself that it's really so, at best costing time and at worst (given the Lovecraftian influence) catastrophic failiure Luna would happily nod and intuitively change the spacing of the runes to account for the high humidity, and even Ron would shrug, say "Yeah, that's why you'd be mental to mess about with that rot," and go back to putting off writing his fake Dream Journal for Divination.

Ancient Runes is the companion course, and involves far more than the literal study of Norse, Egyptian pictograms, or similar ancient writings, it's more along the lines of symbols that embody individual assembly codes. Like Voynich or Enochian script, or what they're purported to be at any rate. OWL level in Runes is memorizing the meaning of the runes and figuring out what a certain set of them will probably do, the latter rquiring a certain level of Arithmancy, expressing Arithmantic calculations at OWL level requires at least the fundamentals of Runes. Doing anything at NEWT level in either subject requires a solid OWL in the other as a minimum, though even most professions involving runic (that is, permanent, unlike a Charm which will eventually expire) enchanting or arithmantic analysis (such as warding and cursebreaking) don't actually require NEWT level study in both. What an employer would want to see on a CV is another question entirely, of course. That the HP books never went into the mechanics of spellcasting or crafting in this way is the biggest non-character related dissapointment of them to me, and probable sign of being a Ravenclaw within the classifications of the setting. The academic study and careful use of such subjects is relatively safe, but there's plenty of nightmare juice to drown in if you swim beyond your depth, even without mention of the eldritch creatures that one is apt to meet if incautious in these deeper waters. Things like bhyakee, Tindalosian hounds, and fungi from Yuggoth.

Beyond that are the innate and all but incomprehenisble magics, the various abilities of magical creatures and talents like parseltongue or the potential for animagus and metamorph abilities. Binary code in a programming metaphor, or (perhaps more topically, since binary code doesn't emerge spontaneously while magical talents can) DNA sequences if compared to biology. The kind of magic that in a Lovecraftian setting is innately beyond human comprehesion, and which either requires the student to be changed in inhuman ways or more often simply breaks them like a balloon filled with thumbtacks, and brief or accidental encounters things on this level will often be simply blanked out, too incomprehensible for the mind to grasp in any meaningful way like a picture file opened in a text editor. Actually understanding it is what makes the Young Gods, gods, the Old Ones practically so, and being fluent in it is what makes the Elder Gods different from them.

Portable Basement

A slightly tatty looking carpet, perhaps four feet by six if unrolled, with an intricate pattern to its once richly colored threads. When laid on the floor and a command word spoken, it can be rolled up again to reveal a heavy, iron banded oak door with a ring set in one side, which opens to reveal a narrow staircase leading down to a room made from large sandstone blocks. It's dry and hot, and the floor is covered in an inch or two of fine sand. Aside from that, it contains an empty rack sized for "tun" barrels, some dusty shelves with a few scraps of cardboard in the corners, and a second rack with three amphorae. Their lids are sealed on with wax with labels pressed into the seal writtten in classical Greek, saying that one contains olives packed in oil and the other two wheat flour. There are a few small spider webs, but no sign of rodents or other vermin. A magical torch on the wall near the foot of the stairs provides light, but produces no smoke and the flame is barely hot enough to feel even if you put a hand right into it. Given how dry and worn the wood of the torch is (not to mention the clear signs of wear on the gripping end) it could easily have been 'burning' for the past century or two. The torch can be doused by wrapping it in something to smother the flame or dunking it in water; while it will instantly dry when removed from the liquid and can be relit with any flame or fire magic the basement will almost immediately become chilly when the flame is out. Depending on the humidity of the air in the place it's opened to this may cause condensation on the stone walls, and over time mould and rot in the wooden shelves. Covering the door with the carpet again automatically pulls the door and basement back into the carpet's magical storage; while the carpet cannot be taken more than 25ft away from the activated door it can be put inside the basement when the door is on the ground. The door can also be fitted with whatever magical and/or mundane locks are available. Activating the door while the carpet is hung on a wall is possible but likely to lead to a nasty tumble down the stairs as one passes through the doorway and gravity changes by 90 degrees.

Is it ever explicitly stated that Dumbledore had the Peverell invisibility cloak until Harry got it at Christmas in 1st year? Returning it is one of the big holes in an 'evil Albus' plot, even if he personally can detect people under it. Remus could have had it (possibly for something aas minor as having gone for a supply run for his freinds and using it to avoid drawing notice to the area near the boundary fo the Fidelius, possibly for some Order-related mission) and would be apt to leave the note unsigned given that he didn't even mention being an old freind of James's for most of a year when he was one of Harry's teachers in 3rd year; Xeno Lovegood says in DH that he's never had any success at finding the Hallows but in a world with canon's contradictions resolved in favor of evil Albus perhaps a secondary effect led to James allowing him to study it. An oath in such circumstance to never tell anyone but James what was uncovered would even explain away having to lie about it to Harry if it came up later. It could also serve as the means to introduce an original character if desired, or be just about anyone else, but those two would fit having 'loopy' handwriting as an obscure clue (Lovegood being eccentric at best, and the other being lupine three nights a month)

----

Well, Easter has long come and gone and I still never got online to post this... Here's an extra Crossover That Should Be as a consolation prize. My first idea for a title was "Superdimension Crossover Crisis" but that sounds like it should involve BGC - which could also happen I suppose, given the nature of the world, but the main idea here is that when the Macross tried to fold out and took South Ataria Island along with it, the engines vanished and we never found out where they went. (No, the Robotech books don't count - this is pure Macross aside from the crossover) This time, the fold bubble stayed together long enough to take the whole shemazzel instead of dropping the rest of the ship and the little chunk of Earth left behind out past pluto, though it's arguable whether the result is better or worse.

It seems they traded places with a mountain and a circle of land around it (now a large saltwater lake) in the multi-dimensional patchwork world of Orguss... the fold engine is still in place, and there's a lot more survivors aboard the surface ships and a few civilians who hadn't made it to the shelters in the confusion, but there's also the small problem of the surviving Zhentlaedy troops who have somewhere to fall back to and try to regroup (though at most their rescources amount to their battlepods or fighterpods and a few of the dropships the BPs landed in) and a world that's the same overall shape but at the same time full of aliens and humans or near-humans with alien civilizations, with a dimensional barrier cieling barely high enough for the Macross to fly under without fusing the ground to glass with its lift rockets.

That last can be at least alleviated by having the Emaan (possibly even the Glomar itself) show up and replace the antigravity units, this time with a little extra structural bracing. Given the size and mass of the Macross, it's more likely to be a matter of custom design and building them in place than installing anything from stock, or even stock designs. Exactly what they'd use to trade... maybe sell the SW/AG energy-conversion armor design for Emaani gravity control? Past the meeting of the two casts... well, that's where the trouble comes in with crossovers, innit? Actually doing something once you've set things up. Of course, it might well be that everything brought in that fold will ping (still effectively a false positive) on tokuiten sensors, since they arrived in an active dimensional manipulation rather than as an aftershock of the dimensional oscillation bomb, like Kei does for being at ground zero of the DO bomb. That would at least be pretext for the Chilam (Tiram? The subs say Chilam, but the file title says Tiram, and not being online regularly I can't check for an official translation) and Mu to be interested in them, but a flying battlefortress with an orbital-bombardment class main gun is in an entirely different weight class than the Glomar even after picking up ts own biggish cannon in Super Dimension Century Orguss ep9.

My own preference (Lieea! No, not that kind of preference. Still, why is the female lead never the girl I would pick? The only one I can think of in all the anime I've seen was Silvie Gina from Macross II) would be to have the meeting at least before Kei's Bronco II gets trashed because he doesn't know aout the dimensional boundary, so there's a more elegant jet/humanoid mecha design for them to base Orguss on than, "whatever vague shape we can make these scabbed together parts fit into." I'll allow that the humanoid form isn't bad, but there's Gundams that turn into less ugly flight modes - and that's more damning the Zeta Gundam and Airmaster with faint praise than saying anything good about Orguroids. Even the Chilam Nikick is better, and it's basically a pile of bricks. Heck, maybe the South Ataria airbase had some old VF-0s in stock (ignored in canon because they're useless in space, having a no-atmo endurance of about five minutes) and include one in the deal for the anti-grav as a working model of SW/AG armor incorporated in a mecha. They can still rebuild the Bronco II into something to name Orguss later if desired. It would also provide a source for the huge-ass crate labeled "Valkyrie VF-1J" in the Glomar's cargo hold in ep18... and for the Orguss with a VF-1A head seen briefly among the Destroids defending some piece of UN Spacy real estate briefly in DYRL, if they got back fairly quickly. Thre's considerable resemblance between the larger Emaani craft and ARMDs, too, at least after the animation detail and FPS pick up somewhere around ep17.

And, is it just me, or did Palladium take the Orguss setting, add magic (and make the Chilam rabidly afraid of it) and move the impenetrable cieling to low orbit, then change a few visual styles for obscuration and call the result Rifts? Granted there's a lot more to it when you include the dozens of splatbooks, but for what was in the original RPG & Setting Guide it's basically, "Hey, let's play Orguss using Palladium Fantasy and Robotech RPG! But you know, without the tokuiten stuff to turn it back at the end of the plot. Just exploring and killing wierd monsters from alternate dimensions!" "Yeah, that sounds cool! Orguroids are kinda like Veritechs anyway. And we can, like, turn the magic up to 11 so it does Mega-Damage!" "R0xx0r!" "K3wLi3s!" "I dunno, I wanna keep playing a paladin. Maybe he could ride a cyborg horse and have, you know, MDC armor and a lightsaber, and the power to kill a yak from 500 yards with mind bullets. Can I do that?" "Bitchin.' Rock on!"

Alternately, maybe they've arrived well before the beginning of the Orguss series, right near a small nation (huge for this patchwork world) that's been energetically but not especially violently expanding, called Chilam? The high military capacity of these new "Atarians" makes them a potentially valuable ally or dangerous enemy, so initial contact is wary but non-hostile... maybe the newcomers agree to sell the remains of several battlepods in exchange for assistance with repairs and food supplies until they can get themselves settled? The Chilam walker machines have quite a resemblance, after all. But, just as it looks like everything is going swimmingly, the edge of Chilam territory impinges on Mu claims, and the warbots start showing up... the United Nations Government had superdimension sensors before the Unification Wars were even over (c.f. Macross Zero) so maybe that's what a "tokuiten sensor" actually is?

Of course, the real question (assuming you don't buy into the premise of Orguss II, which I know exsts but haven't seen) is what the montage of "everybody's happy endings" at the end actually means in terms of how they actually work out, when a fair number of them involve people from multiple worlds interacting. If the Macross or a smaller delegation from it were present for most of the series to take readings with their superdimension sensors in the various patvhwork-world segments, a properly interdimensional fold capable Macross could be instrumental in arranging the neccesary meetings post-series, before setting out to their best guesses for dimensional coordinaates to use to get themselves home, in the lack of direct readings. Spun in that direction, skimming through the events of S. D. C. Orguss with minor changes would just be the prologue, arranging things in the restored multiple worlds the first of three parts to the real meat of the story, with interdimensional exploration the second and dealing with what they find when they get back for a finale. Of course, the kind of epic length story I'm thinking of (isn't that always what I think of?) would probably never be finished even if I got a good start on it.

Exactly what the situation would be in the dimension they've left, without the Supervision Army ship they'd been chasing to keep them around Breetai is just as likely to follow the "don't get involved with Microns" rule and pack off for the next leg of his fleet's assigned route, leaving Earth unmolested for the time being. Their next chance to get in trouble would be a few months on when Laplamiz might or might not arrive, depending on whether the system was part of her route originally or if she was sent (or decided to go) there to get Breetai's problem solved WRT said locally refitted Supervision Army gunship.

(The last is admittedly a bit of a modification from TV continuity where the Meltran ships seem to have been with Breetai's fleet all along in a special forces role even if they were seperate from the Zentran populated ones, to reflect the totally seperate fleets of Meltran and Zentran that come with the later adoption of movie visual design, seen as part of the main continuity in the Chlore fleet encountered by New Macross 7.)

If no one pesters the uninteresting little planet out on the unfashionable end of the Orion arm... Well, the Protodeviln were found by a colonization fleet from Earth, so they could either stay stuck or be found by a Zentran or Meltran fleet, in which case something would have to be done or Gepelnich will expand through space like a giant tesselated sponge absorbing the spiritia of all the sentients he finds, with the only real question there whether he stirs up the Vajura before reaching Earth. In lack of Protodeviln (perhaps the Zentreadi are less nosy, and follow the suggestion when ancient Protoculture navigation bouys say, "Keep out! This system is dangerous!") and with hands-off Zentraedi (though that would probably change if Earth managed to build a new fold-capable ship from records of the Macross's design) the big bugs are really the only other external threat to be found, fifty years or so down the line. Of course, with its fold engines in place and a little more data and time to analyse what went wrong, its entirely possible Macross could be back again by then, escaping to one of the seperate realities at the end of Orguss if not automatically returning to their own dimension.

Ugh, this aggregated file over 90kb. I have GOT to get online sometime soon. If only I'd managed to do half as much (anything?) for Hazardous Lyrics, or any of my older projects...

ThankyoumastermayIhaveanother: Pretty Hearts! Garden of Light = Radiant Garden? Mipuru and Mepuru as Moogles? The Dark King & his servants: Heartless, Nobodies, or just Unversed? And of course the big question, do Cure White and Cure Black get keyblades, or just stick to thier magic? Black is the sporty one, but White has the whole samurai ancestry thing going on from the look of the family compound. I think the male lead was the only kendoka in the series, though.

ThankyoumastermayIhaveanother: Train ride, mysterious vanishing girl, hottie picks him up, bomb dropped on giant monster, car salvaged, yadda yadda. Shinji looks up past the head of Unit 00 to see the Director of NERV, Lex Luthor. Because Gendo just isn't enough of a scheming bastard.

ThankyoumastermayIhaveanother: BTVS, time offset +30 years, dimensional offset: Cybergeneration ("Bwah?" The Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0. setting, seven years later and focusing on the next generation in the wake of a nanotech plague that turns some kids into livemetal borgs but just kills affected adults) It's a different world in the dark future of the Incorporated States of America, but there's just that many more shadows and alleys for things that go "Grr" in the night to hide out in. Demons with less restrictions on their movements and diet, most noteably Brachen, Polgara and Fyarls, are actually widely known, though they're supposedly the products of human super-soldier programs - their supernatural strength and toughness too much of an Edge for the corpwars to pass over. The Watchers' Council proper was subjected to an Agressive Takeover years ago, much of their on-site materials were hastily teleported to field watchers or the family of Council members, who went to ground, while the main building was destroyed outright and the staff either killed as collateral damage of fighting to the death to buy time. In the years since, finding a new Slayer has been a race between megacorp headhunters looking to recruit a new operative who's young and impressionable and all set to be indoctrinated to the corporate manifesto, and the remaining Field Watchers looking to recruit a new Slayer and indocrinate her in her Sacred Duty.

Buffy got lucky, in that it was one of the more humanist Watchers who found her first; Merrick warned her about both sides of the equation as well as giving her a bit of training. Joyce strung him uip by his ankles one morning after Buffy snuck into the cubeapt - it didn't take her too long to get the story out of him but she agreed to keep the secret, knowing how Hank saw the world from his corner office. When Buffy "ran away" after burning down a gymnasium full of vampires, it was Joyce revealing a few of her 'insurance packages' and threatening to distribute them that persueded Hank to have her "be found," and to agree to a quiet divorce with uncontested custody of the girls. (Yes, Dawn is here, she's probably a Mallbrat.) Most of this happens outside Buffy's knowledge; as with canon she thinks she was committed for talking about vampires (since the brainwashing had barely begun) and her parents split up over it as the last straw in an already strained marriage.

On arriving at the so-called Sunnydale Arcology, (actually barely big enough to be a proper Mall, though it includes all the standard Arco features from enclosed parks to residential levels to utilities and commercial districts - with very little volume subject to anything but artificial light, and the macabre addition of "park" areas devoted to being graveyards of all things, rather than efficient modern body recycling) former Goldenkid turned reluctant Arcorunner Buffy somehow becomes friends with Boardpunk Xander (it seems a shame to not have him on an aeroboard to show off the technology, but a normal smartboard is more likely) and Beaverbrat Willow, having failed to integrate with Goldenkid Cordelia's posse. (Would Willow be INT 8, normal Cybergen max, or INT 10, normal human max? "Average" is supposed to be around 4 IIRC. By descending order, her stat priority from there is probably TECH, COOL, EMP, LUCK, ATT, REF, BOD - note that Cool is willpower, not social status - that's ATT) Due to the Mayor's whackadoodle fetish for community spirit all the Arcology's kids are mixed together in just a few schools by age group rather than the usual sharp class seperation, so all the yogang types are represented except Goths and Squats, who don't tend to last long in Sunnydale for some reason, and the nomadic Eco-Raiders and Tribals. Yes, there's even a couple of Goboy gangs who tear through the vehicle access tunnels and occasionally through the sprawl that buffers Inside from Outside, though the latter is inviting trouble from adult bikers and wastelanders, Fangangs (groups of "outed" demon species with the occasional human tough or just plain crazy enough to try to run with them - the ones too nuts for the Streetwarriors or even the Megaviolents) and worse.

Run through three or four episodes to set the starting tone of the combined world and how magic and tech fit together - but then, the Carbon Plague hits. Still dialed into the corp backchannels, Joyce knows what's going on, and when a roundup is ordered in the arco she grabs her girls and her daughter's new freinds (possibly Cordy as well if she's showing signs of infection, or is just in the same area at the time) and lights out for a safe house. Turns out, she's a sorta-retired cyberninja, with reflex wires, muscle & bone lace, nanoweave skin, medical nanos, skillchip sockets, etc., having kept her implants in and off the registration lists by virtue of large amounts of blackmail. Unfortunately, the best pieces have been rendered useless due to the subjects either dying of Carbon Plague or corporate infighting recently, and what's left is no longer enough to trust the safety of her kids with with the extreme reaction to the cyberevolved when all of them are showing the first signs of infection. Giles is probably there as well, or perhaps he shortly arrives, having mystically tracked his charge.

From here on, it's mostly a Cybergen campaign with added supernatural world-saveage. Buffy, as the Slayer, is supernaturally immune to the Carbon Plague, making her even more a Person of Interest than if she'd cyberevolved. (Most demons are either immune or suffer a 100% fatality rate - it's designed for humans only.) Willow is a natural as Wizard, being all Net-Girl already. Xander, as usual, gets hosed on the superpowers front, he's stuck being a Scanner. (If not, Blaster.) Cordy, I say either Alchemist or Tinman (Tingal?) Kendra, raised by a Watcher, taken by Corp headhunters, then gone rogue and returning to the Slayer's sacred duty arrives on the run like Faith would later, but with CorpSec on her trail rather than vampires. The only other specific point I have in mind is that the book containing Moloch was one of the few things recovered when the Old Council fell; he's been loose for years in cyberspace making havok, and the increasing omnipresence of virtuality is due to his influence, spreading his available area of control before really bringing the hammer down on the Mortal Animals.

It's 2026, Buffy having arrived in the fall, six months before the start of the standard Cybergeneration campaign in June 2027. If not for the Carbon Plague graduation would have been scheduled for 2029, and the Mayor's Ascension is still on for that date... Sometimes, the Dead Guys and Zombie Girls are REALLY dead guys and zombie girls. Other times, they only want your soul in a metaphorical sense. Either way, the world needs a lotta saving, chombatta. Gonna step up?

... and now this damn thing's over 100kb. That's just depressing, 100kb of random crap, close to 18,000 words, when I've written like 5kb, maybe, for my existing projects. I hate my brain. Checking through my original works folders, though, I discovered having finished the Bubblegum Disaster "Xmas Special 2032" chapter and then forgetting about it back around Thanksgiving. The 5Kb I have managed has been on the next chapter of that, as well, filling in a scene with the Replicants on tour.

- CD, ... you leave me no choice but to call upon the shady powers of Shabbydingo. Please give me a moment to switch on the reverb before incanting...

Plot holes beyond counting, grammar that makes tears to flow;
Buried in the Pit of Voles, is where this stinker goes;
With this quick flame, I slam a jug of brain-bleach;
Let the pile that steams before me be flushed-
By the power of back-button press!

BADFIC SLAAAVE! - the only kind of review I actually expect for any of this
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Quote:#4 HP & The Affairs of Dragons

...

Along with the flying motorcycle dream

There's your cue, Doug Sangnoir.

Quote:#5 HP & The Obligatory Marriage Contract Fic

post-4th year, Harry is presented with a marriage contract to (insert death eater or blackmailed family's daughter here)

...

Millicent Bulstrode ... she's my suggestion for female lead.

Meh.

You're missing the obvious: "blackmailed family's daughter". Plenty of people would have the motive and means to blackmail a newspaper family - say, the Lovegoods.

While Hermione, Ginny, or both might be upset (depending on when this happens), Harry and Luna probably wouldn't mind too much, so that just leaves one question: Why would somebody want to force the daughter of one of the more annoying pests hovering around the Death Eaters to marry the Boy Who Lived? Ah, there's a story...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

Quote:Thinking about it, I don't actually know any fic [Millicent Bulstrode]'s in as more than a cameo except Doghead13's "The Book of Dobby Reboot: Per Arcana ad Astra"

There's one that's kind of close, in which Harry is induced (in a coma-born dream) to fall for an illusionary Millicent who allegedly grew into slightly better looks. I can't remember title or author, although I'm pretty sure it's on fanficauthors.net.

Quote:There's your cue, Doug Sangnoir.

What, and spoil Hagrid's big moment?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

...and now I have bits dutifully trying to figure out some set of circumstances where Hagrid winds up doing it with Doug's bike (borrowed) rather than his own.

Quote:Carbon Plague

My god, I'm not the only person who's heard of CyberGeneration? o.O;;;

-Morgan.

Sirrocco Wrote:...and now I have bits dutifully trying to figure out some set of circumstances where Hagrid winds up doing it with Doug's bike (borrowed) rather than his own.

Yet another dangling plot thread: it is mentioned exactly once, but the motorcycle Hagrid uses to bring baby Harry to Privet Drive belonged to Sirius Black. Replacing one borrowed bike with another introduces exactly zero plot holes.

Morganni Wrote:

Quote:Carbon Plague

My god, I'm not the only person who's heard of CyberGeneration? o.O;;;

-Morgan.

Nope! I've even seen a short HP/Cybergen crossover fic (single chapter, only really introduces Boardpunk Harry and CorpZombie Dursleys IIRC. maybe one of the HP girls.) Although, what I'm mainly wondering about WRT Interlok games right now is how to integrate Cybergen with the other "future of the CyberPunk setting" product, Starblade Battalion Mekton. That's set a century or so later, but bases itself only on the 2.0.2.0. version of the setting, ignoring Cybergeneration emtirely though it does reference some of the same themes, and if not for the lack of Carbon Plague the SBB eco-totalitarians could easily have arisen from the CGen "take back the planet from the rapacious CorpMachine" mindset. Other parts don't mesh nearly as well, however. When we were building the Virtual Mekton setting on first the Mekton Zeta and then Virtual Mekton Mailing Lists (holy crap, a decade ago now? The really sad part of that is that it's been that long since I fell out of touch with the folks I considered friends from the list, except NPBaxter who's a regular here too) the company who runs the VM game was named The Blackhand Corporation in honor of the character, too.

Found it again, and it's even shorter than I remembered, really it's just what I'd consider a character sheet with a page or two of character intro writeup for using Harry in a Cybergen game. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3581083]%[link=http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3581083]http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3581083] Hermione and Dudders are mentioned by name, so are a couple of OCs, but only Harry and one NPC get speaking parts.

Ooh, and if anyone hasn't read them, go RIGHT NOW to http://members.tripod.com/starblade_battalion/]%[link=http://members.tripod.com/starblade_battalion/]http://members.tripod.com/starblade_battalion/] and grab the Starblade Batallion Stories; unless you seriously think there's a chance of playing in an SBB game sometime and are draconian about avoiding spoilers. They are unreservedly 100% awesome with awesomeberries and an extra helping of awesomesauce on top. There's at least a little art as well, and stat sheets (multiple people's adaptations of them in some cases) for all the new and modified mecha that appear in them. The series is quite long and covers the entire setting as described in the book as well as developing it further (no surprize there, given the amount of space available for background even in a 136p sourcebook, as compared to 41 chapt6ers of prose.) If you think you might play in a non-SBB game or (Gasp!) RUN a mecha campaign of any stripe, they're great for getting in the mood.

Gweh. It still feels like a ruddy sauna in here, and the accursed day-star is on the rise again to increase temperatures that much more. At least by now I'm exhausted enough to get at least a little sleep despite the miserable weather.

I hate summer. Hate it to bits. It's bad enough on a heavily wooded hilltop in New Hampshire, let alone a couple hundred miles further south and surrounded by blacktop in the second floor in a house so old it didn't have electrical wiring before hitting 30, let alone air conditioning.

- CD, filled with the burning hate of a thousand fiery suns... literally if you look at it the right way
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

......... Gonna take me a while to parse all this.

Quote:"I feel like Sigourney Weaver in Aliens 2 when she realizes she in a room full of hatching eggs."

Except that these are rabbit's eggs, that's a remarkably apt .sig Then again, Geiger Xenomporphs can breed with anything else, so why not bunnies?

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

ClassicDrogn Wrote:"... Then again, Geiger Xenomporphs can breed with anything else, so why not bunnies?

- CD"

Reminds me of the Eva fic where Yruel [The computer virus angel} decided to manifest as a Xenomorph "hive."  *shudder*
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

Foxboy Wrote:

ClassicDrogn Wrote:"... Then again, Geiger Xenomporphs can breed with anything else, so why not bunnies?

- CD"

Reminds me of the Eva fic where Yruel [The computer virus angel} decided to manifest as a Xenomorph "hive."  *shudder*

I read it as "ginger Xenomorphs", and my first thought was, "Fred and George...aliens?"

Duane Peters Wrote:

Foxboy Wrote:

ClassicDrogn Wrote:"... Then again, Geiger Xenomporphs can breed with anything else, so why not bunnies?
- CD"

Reminds me of the Eva fic where Yruel [The computer virus angel} decided to manifest as a Xenomorph "hive."  *shudder*

I read it as "ginger Xenomorphs", and my first thought was, "Fred and George...aliens?"

Worse ... Ginny.
(And it's Giger, by the way. Geiger was the guy with the radiation detector. Giger is the creepy Swiss artist.)  
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

Ebony Wrote:(And it's Giger, by the way. Geiger was the guy with the radiation detector. Giger is the creepy Swiss artist.)  

Thanks ever so much, Ebony... Now you've got me wondering who in Fenspace has built a Giger Counter.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

Quote: Now you've got me wondering who in Fenspace has built a Giger Counter.

Do eet! DOOOOOOO EEET!
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Nooooo...the H. R. Giger counter will inevitably lead to the H. R. Puffenstuf counter, and we all know where that leads...

Further thoughts on the "raised by a regenerator" Harry... well, your current version is sadly tainted by the obvious strong hostility you have towards most of the main canon characters - making it really pretty hard to write anything that isn't either a bash fic or hopelessly dark or both (or possibly super-short and super-cracky). However... well, what if we sneak harry some sort of an ameliorating influence somehow? Luna, perhaps? You'd need something a bit cracky to have them meet up, but it could be shoehorned in. Have him happily join in with his adopted dad on little bonding expeditions to destroy vampires of various sorts (the regenerator treatments took but good), have him agree wholeheartedly on opinions about the Hellsings, but perhaps have a parting of the ways on that whole "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" thing, and have Harry feel that non-Catholics... well, they're *weird*, and they're obviously *wrong*, but it's possible that they're simply misguided, rather than purely evil. Have a couple of bits of accidental magic - which they both see as a potential Mighty Weapon for the Church, but have a dickens of a time reproducing consistently. Then the letter shows up, and Harry manages to convince dear old Father Anderson that while there may be serious concerns about these people, it's finally his opportunity to learn and channel these powers... and it's not like they can *hurt* him, right? Maybe he'll even find others that can be converted to the True Faith, and perhaps *they* will work out as Regenerators *too*.

Results: Harry has a few upgrades, and a few downgrades.

upgrades:

- Harry is a Regenerator, with all that that entails.

- He's learned to fight through the pain, and developed a viciously effective, extremely goal-oriented fighting styles that basically assume that his enemies are vicious superhuman creatures that need to die.

- He's really not going to be scared of any physical threats at all.

- He has a warm and loving home life (he's a bit at odds with dear old dad, but they are quite fond of one another) with kill-squads on call as necessary

- He is intensely interested in learning any magic that he sees as having practical applications, and is fairly good at coming up with said practical applications in many things others might not consider.

downgrades:

- the whole Regenerator thing has basically claimed much of the output of his magical core, leaving him about three shades above Squib in power.

- the whole "well-trained kill reflex" thing... kinda creepy to a lot of people. The fact that his habit will be to bring fists to wand-fights (and, often, win) is another such creepy thing.

- He may be toning down his prejudices and religious opinions a bit, but they're still pretty intense - and fairly off-putting to a lot of people.

- He knows who Dumbledore is... and he already knows that he doesn't like the man. (He'll be gritting his teeth to stay even remotely civil - and this Harry is no good at being subtle about such things) Say what you will about him, the support of the Dumbledore faction was a significant resource for Harry pretty much throughout the books.

Finally, this Harry doesn't really care about much other than destroying monsters, his adopted father, the Iscariots, and the wellbeing of Catholics in general (also Luna, though he's pretty confused about that one. He really wishes she'd convert. It would make the boxes he puts people in come out so much more *neatly*). Of course, he'll very quickly start lumping Voldemort in the "monster what needs to be destroyed" column, and getting proactive on that pretty much from the beginning - but it might be interesting to see who goes with him. "Would you convert to Catholicism to be with Harry Potter?" "Would you hunt demons to be with Harry Potter?" "Would you trade in most of your magical ability for a funky regenerating power to be with Harry Potter?" Ginny starts looking like a serious possibility in terms of battle-partner (playing in her role as "The girl who's utterly obsessed with him.") After all, if you *are* willing to convert and let yourself agree with his odder ideas, this Harry is *very* approachable - and not nearly so surrounded by admirers.

...and after they finish with Voldemort, Father Anderson, leading a small *squad* of weakly wizarding Regenerators (each outfitted with a variety of potions - as Harry very quickly identifies potions as an area where lack of magical power doesn't really matter, and finds Snape's teaching style actually fairly mild) proceeds to do *bad* *bad* things to Hellsing and its pet vampire.

Duane Peters Wrote:Nooooo...the H. R. Giger counter will inevitably lead to the H. R. Puffenstuf counter, and we all know where that leads...

And, see, I saw that, and wondered "What's wrong with a Hufflepuff counter?"

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

Indeed, for at the Hufflepuff counter they serve delicious waffles with syrup and berries and whipped cream. And who doesn't love that?

As for my "obviously considerable ill-will toward most of the main (HP) cast," it's not so much anything like that (though I'll cop to a bit of overreaction to the difference between the early books which I liked and the end of sereis where there's no good side, only the questionable side and the reprehensible guys side) as that I'm talkning about the same Iscariot who considers slaughtering an entire villiage that harbored one fugitive from their assassins and then giving th sorry lot pf heathens proper Catholic rites so they at least have a chance to speak before the Golden gate rather than going straight to Hell (in their mindset, not mine, I have even bigger issues with most organised religions than HP post-GoF) as not merely a military but a moral and spiritual victory as well. They do NOT play well with others, (unless you're using a very twisted definition of "play") which is why a "toned down" version such as Sweno describes works ever so much better in a crossover situation, as is obvious from how his actually seems plausible beyond a few minutes into the first meeting when the Wizarding World rediscovers "poor missing Harry Potter."

- CD, in other words... APPROVED FOR FUTHER DEVELOPMNT BY THE CD'S HEAD FAN WORKS PROGRESS ADMINISTRATION SUBCOMMITEE FOR HARRY POTTER CROSSOVERS. And if you think that looks big on the screen, you should just imagine the rubber stamp, all big bolface letters and smeared with red ink like the blood of those unfortunates who failed to garner at least a 53.000% majority in favor.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Bluemage Wrote:

Duane Peters Wrote:Nooooo...the H. R. Giger counter will inevitably lead to the H. R. Puffenstuf counter, and we all know where that leads...

And, see, I saw that, and wondered "What's wrong with a Hufflepuff counter?"

Which naturally loops back to the idea of H.R. Hufflepuff...
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

HRH Hufflepuff? What?

Mind you, HRH Puffenstuf might be more entertaining here.

 Wow...that was a lot of bunnies.
 Anyways, next to no comment on the Potter bunnies, since I'm one of the few people who are indifferent about the freaking series (comes from working at a library where several copies of each book are held...and all or most of them come back on the same day), but I will say I liked the Beanstalk idea, mainly because it reminded me of a RP scenario I read where a beanstalk elevator was built using plant style biotech.
 Also, I second the recommendation for the SBB stories. Like it was said, they are awesome.
 And as for the Macross Orguss one...go here for RP stats for the Emaan, and yes, it's primarily for a Robotech game , but it can be back-adapted to Macross if needs be. And as for Orguss 2, here's the intro. It was brought here by Manga, and might still be available somewhere.
 BYapes@aol.com
 (...and don't even ask how many copies of The DaVinci Code we have...)
Brian Y.
Seed Chronicles

Morganni Wrote:

Quote:Carbon Plague

My god, I'm not the only person who's heard of CyberGeneration? o.O;;;
-Morgan.

I've not only heard of it, I own most (all?) of the sourcebooks and have played it several times. 8)
  
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

On #6, an additional faction in that fight might be resistance fighters from a bad-skynet future who either didn't get the memo on the alien invation, don't beleive it, or don't believe the aliens could be worse than skynet.  So they oppose both the terminators and John on his new mission.
----------
No, I don't believe the world has gone mad.  In order for it to go mad it would need to have been sane at some point.