Drunkard's Walk Forums

So, I posted the following on LiveJournal with the title, "A rather perverse dalek thought."
(Note: The day six link below is amusing, but you should be aware that the closing line of the drabble it is following up is a bit squicky in its cold post-apocalyptic rationality)

Quote:What? No not perverse like that. Perverse as in it twists Dalek thinking into unnatural (for them) directions.
So, if you read [img]http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=3]jeriendhal's 30 Days of Drabble - Day Six it involves Daleks on a post apocalypse Earth. After reading it an unnatural thought occurred to me.
Posit that you have a Dalek of unusual thinking as part of the pursuit, one who runs through this chain of logic.
Daleks
are the universe's superior form of life. But that pesky Doctor keeps
interfering with things. This ruined planet is Earth. The Doctor likes
Earth and the Humans. The Doctor will stop interfering if it would
threaten human survival. (here comes the unnatural, for a Dalek, twist)
Thus if the Dalek's are protecting the humans The Doctor will be
neutralized.
"WE SHALL PROTECT THE HUMANS?"
"WE SHALL!"
"WHY SHALL WE PROTECT THE HUMANS?"
"WE
WILL PROVE DALEKS SUPERIOR. THE DOCTOR HAS FAILED. THE EARTH IS RUINED.
THE HUMANS ARE DYING. DALEKS SHALL SUCCEED WHERE THE DOCTOR HAS
FAILED."

Okay, fine, you insist this isn't truly perverse and the title was a lie? Fine, a scene resulting from the above.
"You want me to do what!"
"HUMANS MUST NOT GO EXTINCT."
"THE HUMAN FEMALE AND THE HUMAN MALE SHALL PROCREATE."
"PRO-CRE-ATE! PRO-CRE-ATE!"
"This is all somehow your fault Doctor."

And in reply to a comment:

Quote:And really, what is the Doctor to do.
"What are you doing! Stop
taking food to those refugees! What? Medicines? But you're evil! Stop
being good! How am I supposed to hate you if you are being so, so,
charitable!"
"RISE IN THE DOCTOR'S BLOOD PRESSURE DETECTED. MEDICAL DALEK RECOMMENDS MEDITATION."
"THE DOCTOR WILL CALM HIMSELF IMMEDIATELY! MEDITATE! MED-I-TATE!"

-----

Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.

Daleks are fun. Pinned to our bulletin board is a one-panel comic featuring a Dalek with a watering can: "GERMINATE! GERMINATE!"

I always liked the vampire daleks: "EX-SAN-GUIN-ATE! EX-SAN-GUIN-ATE!"
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I've had a few funny takes on Dalek speach-patterns:
"THE DOCTOR WILL THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS ACTION!  RUMINATE!  RU-MIN-ATE!"
"THE BEES WILL FERTILIZE THE FLOWERS!  POLLINATE!  POLL-IN-ATE!"
(Followed by the enraged Daleks shooting individual bees, who do not comply, out of the sky.)
"YOU MUST CHEW YOUR FOOD BEFORE SWALLOWING!  MASTICATE!  MAS-TI-CATE!"
(The pervert in me wants to add another one, but won't, since now, it should be obvious.  Mwahahahaha!)
"YOU WILL EXPLAIN YOUR PRESENCE AND YOUR PLAN!  ELUCIDATE!  E-LU-CI-DATE!"
"I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS; I WANT TO BE MORE!  GIVE ME A DATE!  GIVE ME A DATE!"
And, then there's this picture I'm in the process of re-doing (it's only been in the engine for 36 minutes).  It's "AREN'T YOU A LITTLE SHORT TO BE A DALEK?"