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[OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Printable Version

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RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-28-2019

(10-27-2019, 08:42 PM)Bob Schroeck Wrote: ... although I have a soft spot for Tomo in full Prince mode ...
But does she know all the words to Purple Rain? Big Grin

More seriously,
D-1

The story's wiki page gets locked tonight.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Norgarth - 10-28-2019

My ability to suggest costumes is limited by the fact that my knowledge of many of these anime is highly limited, sometimes non-existent.

Aria I hadn't even heard of before it was brought up for this project, Fate/stay Night and Full Metal Panic I've only picked up bits and pieces online and via a few crossover fanfics. Evangelion, and Tenchi I know mostly from fanfics. Which means I don't really know the characters well enough to give costume ideas in many cases.

1 idea I did have, was for Washu dressing up as Agatha Heterodyne (I can see her liking dressing up as a Spark, it's much along the lines of her natural self)

Actually, just had another Idea. Sousuke, Kaname, and Teletha make up a love triangle right? Maybe have them as the Gundam Seed Characters Athrun Zala, Lacus Clyne, and Cagalli Yula Athha respectively. I don't know enough about Panic to say who if anyone would fit the Seed character Kira Yamato

Actually Kaname and Teletha have some sort of instinctve tech ability, right? they might work as Sparks/steampunks as well


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Labster - 10-28-2019

I am actually done here.

The only thing things I can see that need done are:
  • "Chibiusa" vs. "Chibi-Usa" and "Sosuke" v. "Sousuke" (has the fandom standardized on either?)
  • Chapter 4 is a bit thin compared to Chapter 3, not sure if any remaining content can move down
  • The Osaka/Kazari scene now needs to be moved below the Osaka/Claw scene to make sense -- not sure if it can be inserted into Chapter 4, or just later into Chapter 3.
  • The first time a character appears, or does something significant, their whole name should be mentioned.  I mean, we have three Reis in this story.  I can't find "Hakubi", "Frye", "Li", "Glory", "Melissa" (reverse case?), "Washburne" and "Hoban" (only nickname), "Ibuki" (I seriously thought she was the cat for a while), "Ferrari", or "Mizuno".
  • Of course, some of the line breaks should be turned into text transitions.
  • We still need a better title...



RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Dartz - 10-28-2019

The problem I have is that there are things in my mind - but they're broken into one and two lines here and there with no coherence

Anri is happy working as an 'OL' type - and reams off the gossip from the office where she works.
Meg works Deliverat - because cybernetic fitness and miniumal documentation.
33-Stars begins because Sylvie gets fired from Starbuck for 'Making a customer so angry they fainted'. Sylvie wants to do the Priss thing.
Meg "Coerces" someone into giving the band the gift of instruments - that person ends uip stabbing Lou when the plan to break up the relationship goes South.
Invited to the Halloween party.
Nam plays Guitar Hero like Nagato from Haruhi Suzimiyah. She can do a passable Rei Ayanami impression (They share a VA). Nam is a teenager.

They play Kiss - I was Made for Loving You with Meg in the lead. The Replicants - Konya Wa Hurricane, with Sylvie in the lead. They will also take requests - especially if giving a chance to listen to the request first.

Meg has exceptional fingering. In fact, all the girls have exceptional fingering.
Jayne snoops on Inar and the girls - it's dull dry ethical talk.

Does Meg score?

That's what I wanted to do anyway.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-28-2019

(10-28-2019, 03:37 PM)Labster Wrote: I am actually done here.

The only thing things I can see that need done are:
  • "Chibiusa" vs. "Chibi-Usa" and "Sosuke" v. "Sousuke" (has the fandom standardized on either?)
  • Chapter 4 is a bit thin compared to Chapter 3, not sure if any remaining content can move down
  • The Osaka/Kazari scene now needs to be moved below the Osaka/Claw scene to make sense -- not sure if it can be inserted into Chapter 4, or just later into Chapter 3.
  • The first time a character appears, or does something significant, their whole name should be mentioned.  I mean, we have three Reis in this story.  I can't find "Hakubi", "Frye", "Li", "Glory", "Melissa" (reverse case?), "Washburne" and "Hoban" (only nickname), "Ibuki" (I seriously thought she was the cat for a while), "Ferrari", or "Mizuno".
  • Of course, some of the line breaks should be turned into text transitions.
  • We still need a better title...
  • The fandom might or might not have standardized on names, but the wiki has - on the characters' writeup pages. EDIT: Sousuke, Chibi-Usa, and Ayeka.
  • It might be worthwhile to merge the two chapters.
  • Probably later in Chapter 3. But don't hold me to that.
  • "I mean, we have three Reis in this story." And two Sakuras.
  • One line break already has been turned into a text transition. But we need a few breaks to show time passes.
  • I'm no good at titles...



RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Labster - 10-28-2019

(10-28-2019, 05:06 PM)Dartz Wrote: 33-Stars begins because Sylvie gets fired from Starbuck for 'Making a customer so angry they fainted'.

This is a story on its own.  You're so close.  You have three characters: Sylvie, a customer, and a manager.  You have a setting: Starbucks.  You have an inciting event: Sylvie with the customer.  You have a conflict: Sylvie and the manager. You can approach it from the direction of thinking about the setting -- is it a busy shop where they always need new employees, or did she get hired because it's an out of the way shop?  You can think about what kinds of characters could be involved in such a setting -- all locals, or is one an immigrant (and if so how does that affect the interaction)?  Or you can work backwards from how you want your characters to feel or actions they might take, and work your way backwards to what type of person would do that.  Maybe she's hired by an older male franchise owner hot for her, but fired by a bored college girl shift supervisor who just doesn't want to put up with that on her shift.

(10-28-2019, 05:06 PM)Dartz Wrote: They play Kiss - I was Made for Loving You with Meg in the lead. The Replicants - Konya Wa Hurricane, with Sylvie in the lead. They will also take requests - especially if giving a chance to listen to the request first.

I think we can work those songs into the party.

(10-28-2019, 05:06 PM)Dartz Wrote: Meg has exceptional fingering. In fact, all the girls have exceptional fingering.
Angel

(10-28-2019, 05:53 PM)robkelk Wrote:
  • "I mean, we have three Reis in this story." And two Sakuras.
... And an Osaka in a pear tree.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Dragonflight - 10-28-2019

(10-27-2019, 11:45 PM)Labster Wrote: Yeah, Dragonflight's idea would totally work, maybe you should write with us.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. Smile

Note: Knowledge of My Little Pony: Equestria Girls is not necessary. I tried to fill in the critical gaps in a way that keeps to the flow of the story. I do encourage looking up the songs she sings, they set the tone and describe her mood at the appropriate moments.

------------------

The girl walked slowly across the outside lawn, and hesitated at the steps leading up. She looked around curiously, and blinked a few more times. The pulse-pounding beat inside drew her forward. Music called to her, the way it always had. Well... Until recently.

The girl brushed her two-tone hair out of an eye, and considered the landscape. Ten minutes ago she’s stormed away from her sisters. Adagio, as usual, was talking about going into town. The locals called it ‘Hallowe’en,’ instead of Nightmare Night, but it was basically the same thing. Adagio, being the sexed-up floozie she was when she wasn’t threatening Aria or yelling at her, decided to find some hot boy in a macho costume, and give him an education, or something like that. Whatever. Not her thing.

Which wasn’t to say sex wasn’t fun. Even *Sonata* had gotten lucky now and then. You couldn’t live for a thousand years plus without finding the occasional piece of hot property. But since last summer, it just hadn’t been as much fun. Not since...

Sonata inhaled sharply, banishing the memory for the umpteenth time even as she pushed back the tears. She pulled out the tiny box she carried, and opened it like she did pretty much every day since.

Inside, the shattered remains of the red crystal lay on a black velvet pad. *Her* crystal. Without it, she didn’t have her music anymore. Without it, she didn’t have her extended lifespan.

Without it, she couldn’t go home. Ever.

The scent of party food reached her as she brooded on the steps. Closing the box with a brittle smile, she pocketed the container and took a deeper breath. “Food,” she said finally, choosing to ignore the hitch in her voice as she said it. “I *really* need food.”

She pulled the door open and wandered inside. “I wonder if they have tacos?”

*    *    *

Fate drifted across the edge of the party, and smiled as she saw some boy try very skittishly to chat up Nanoha. He was roughly her age, with short cropped brown hair, and a sparse frame. He seemed to be a bit of a wallflower, but if she knew Nanoha, Fate had no doubt she’d pair him up with someone who would draw him out of his shell. She hadn’t become a legendary mage-ace and Striker commander by missing the obvious. She wondered who the boy would eventually be matched up with.

Another figure walked into the party that Fate didn’t recognize. To say she didn’t know anyone was an understatement. She wasn’t entirely sure how this party was even possible. Some of the people claimed to be from places and times that simply couldn’t exist in the same timeline.

Her Device pinged softly, drawing her out of her reverie. She blushed and held the crystal up to look at it. “Gomen, Bardiche. I was spacing out on the impossibility again.”

The machine chimed softly. “Distraction comes in many forms.”

“Hai.” She held the crystal to herself for a long moment before putting it away. Bardiche was right, as usual. She needed something to distract her from the improbability of the Hallowe’en party she was at and just *enjoy* it for a while.

Another glance across the other way showed Nanoha engaging the boy and another girl in a fairly animated conversation. Seeing the matter well in hand, Fate drifted around to the other arrival she’d seen. The girl was sneaking party food onto a plate, and looking around at everyone else. She bit her lip and selected something to drink before sliding to the patio door. Suppressing a grin, Fate followed along behind.

Sonata exited the party to the yard outside. Finding a nice spot just out of sight, she sat down, and hefted the first of several tacos she’d loaded up. She paused for a long second when she heard the quiet tapping sound behind her, of someone knocking on the tree to one side. Grinning unrepentantly, she looked back.

The girl was dressed in some kind of Nightmare Night costume Sonata didn’t recognize. She had long blonde hair, deep red eyes, and a smirk on her face. “Umm... Hello?”

Fate sat down beside Sonata, placing her own plate of snack foods in front of her. “Crashing the party, huh?”

The party crasher just made a sound and shrugged as she bit into the taco. “Mmmm! Oh, that’s soooo good!” She pointedly ignored Fate for the few moments it took to scarf the entire taco, then sat back with a contented sigh as she sipped her drink. “So. Gonna tell the others on me?”

Fate snorted. “Nah. What’s one more party guest, right?” She waved around at the house in the distance. “Besides, I barely know anyone here myself. My girlfriend and I were at a party elsewhere when we ran into this guy who invited us back here. So if they’re okay with *us*, I don’t see why they’d mind another party crasher.”

Sonata held up a second taco. “Works for me!” She bit in with clear enjoyment, much to Fate’s amusement. After a long moment of chewing and swallowing, she sipped her drink and tapped it to her forehead. “Sonata Dusk.”

“Fate Testarossa.” She pulled out a golden metal triangle inset with a golden gemstone, and placed it beside her. “And this is Bardiche.”

“Greetings,” the Device chimed.

Sonata blinked several times at the strange event, and bit her lip. “A *talking* magic stone? I’ve never seen something like *that* before.” She tilted her head to one side. “So is it really intelligent, or you know, reading from cue cards?”

Fate snickered as the light shifted across one of Bardiche’s facets. The device was really good at suggesting emotional reactions for a mystical machine that didn’t speak literally any more than it absolutely *had* to. “He’s alive. Just *different* from us.” She looked over at the other girl, and touched an arm. “So... what are you going as tonight, anyway? I’ve been able to guess *some* of the people here, but frankly, the light pastel blue skin tone is really confusing me.”

This elicited a giggle from the other girl. After a few more snickers, Sonata looked back at Fate. “I’m not going as anything right now. This is my normal skin tone.” She leaned over and stage-whispered to the other girl. “I’m a *SIREN!*”

“Ri-ight,” Fate drawled as Sonata finished off her second taco. “I suppose you’re going to break into song now?”

The sharp inhalation caught Fate entirely off guard. The blue skinned girl balled her hand into a tiny fist on the table and rocked slowly as she clearly tried to compose herself. “I can’t,” she replied quietly, voice scratchy. “My stone was destroyed last year.”

As Fate watched, a million questions in her head, the other girl took out what looked like an earring box, and opened it. Inside, the remains of an elaborately cut ruby gemstone lay. It was easy to see how the shards all fit together, but it just lay in the black box, a dull and lifeless reminder of what Sonata had lost. “Without my stone...”

Sonata touched the crystal with a gentle longing that sent a pang through Fate. It didn’t take much to see herself holding the destroyed remains of Bardiche that time many years ago when Signum had all but killed her. The almost-loss of her partner had devastated her. And she’d gotten him *back.* She could only imagine what it must feel like to lose something that important and know you would *never* get it back.

Fate made a decision in that moment. She didn’t know if it was a *good* decision or not, only that it was the only choice she could make that she could possibly live with. “I... might be able to help with that,” she said, very softly, as she placed her hand on Sonata’s arm. “If... you want me to.”

The blue-skinned girl’s look of deeply pained need was all the answer Fate needed. Gesturing to the side, she caused Bardiche’s storage pocket to open. “I’m a magical enforcement type back home. But when I’m not handling security issues, I also teach advanced tactics to magical adepts and student prodigies.” She paused as she reached in to pull the object of her focus out. “Wow. That just sounds really elitist when I say it like that.”

Sonata giggled, wiping away tears as she watched the other girl take out what looked like a magic rod of some kind. It had a kind of abbreviated weapons head on the top, split into two stubby prongs. The girl placed it on the table.

“This is a training weapon we use to teach basic magical control and some combat to academy trainees.” She touched the oval gemstone in the weapon’s head. “This is a generic device which is used to manage the energy flows and maintain the weapon. It’s like an entry-level version of what Bardiche is. Given time, it could be upgraded to include more power, and a personality of its own.”

“How does that help me with my stone?”

Fate touched the oval stone in a specific pattern, while focusing on a simple spell. With a faint *click,* the stone came free from the staff weapon. Holding it up, Fate looked over at the fragments. “I want to use magic to blend the two items together. Your stone will become part of this power core, which will also become part of your crystal. My goal is to see if I can restore the stone and give it an independent power core, as well as the ability to fix itself going forward, so that this doesn’t happen again.”

Sonata blinked several times, processing the possibilities. If it worked, she’d get her powers back. Adagio would be furious, of course. She might even try to take it away from her. Aria would pretend to not care, and try to steal it while Sonata slept. She’d have to do something about that.

As for the party nearby... Sonata glanced back at the people. Even without her crystal, she still had enough of her old power that she could sense it. Their need. Their energy. With the stone to *push* them, and to amplify her song, they’d gravitate to her like iron to a magnet. They’d fight over who got to spend more time with her. And she could soak up all that wonderful, delicious energy.

She caught herself up short when she became aware of something *more*. Even at her low strength, she could clearly sense a great many people in the party who had astounding power levels. It was like being within a stone’s throw of a whole *dance party* of Princess Celestias. And while the urge to take their energy was strong, she wasn’t suicidal.

She looked back at the expectant girl beside her. Get the stone back. Play nice at the party. Live long enough to get away with her restored power. “Umm,” she began slowly. “Okay. I mean, if it works... right?”

Fate nodded and grinned encouragingly. “Let’s see if we can pull this off.” waving the floating stone down to hover over the red fragments, she gathered her power and fed it to the utility weapon crystal. The stone began to glow, and reached tendrils of power out to the red fragments as the mystical machine within processed Fate’s intent and began to put the mage’s will into action.

Sonata watched as the oval stone’s glow seemed to seep down into the ruby fragments. Then, amazingly, they began to glow as well. Sonata could *feel* it. A faint pulse of their old, familiar energy, as the fragments were pulled up and *into* the oval, vanishing within.

With a flare of light, the oval vanished. In its place, the restored ruby stone floated, aglow with its own magical potential. Sonata reached out to it, eyes wide. Her expression was one of total disbelief and wonder, as she touched the surface of the stone. Even though her stone had never had a mind of its own, she couldn’t help the hopeful whisper. “Do you... remember me?”

In answer, the stone glowed more brilliantly, and flew across the space between to hover at neck level. A flare of energy heralded it somehow creating a pendant form for it to rest in, as the completed necklace lay against her throat.

Sonata closed her eyes and breathed deep, touching the stone and concentrating. She could feel it pulse in time with her heartbeat. The power inside was still nothing more than a fraction of the vast pools it could contain, but it was cool and incredibly welcome.

The girl opened her eyes and looked over at the expectant blonde girl. With a squeal, Sonata lunged across and tackle-hugged the other girl. “That’s *amazing!* Thankyouthankyouthankyou!”

Fate laughed as the two girls untangled themselves and sat up. The girl with the pastel skin seemed to be more *alive* than she’d been the entire night all of a sudden. The red gemstone glowed faintly around her neck as she laughed and pulled Fate back up again. “I”m glad I could help. So, care to show off what it does?”

Sonata blinked and quickly ran through her roster of known songs. Considering the epic power levels she could sense even more clearly now that she had her pendant back, a huge chunk of those songs, and what they were used for, went firmly into the Really Bad Idea category. At least, as long as she was around these people. But there had to be *something* she could sing...

She stopped and blinked again as a really subversive idea occurred to her. She could do Rainboom covers! “As long as Adagio doesn’t find out,” she commented under her breath with a grin. “She’d *never* let me live it down.” She touched the pendant and looked back at Fate. “Umm... I have grabby sisters,” she began, looking down at the red glow. “Is there any way I can prevent them from... you know...”

Fate grinned and nodded. “I know the feeling. Subaru’s sisters were a real handful for a few months a while back. If it wasn’t clearly labeled, they absolutely grabbed and ate it.” She winked. “I had to teach them not to do that with a few strategically placed hot peppers and wasabi rolls, but they got the hint eventually.” As the other girl giggled, Fate reached out and touched the stone. Her fingertip glowed. “There. I’ve put in the standard instruction guide for new mages. The TSA encourages us to share our knowledge with anyone who wants it, so don’t worry about it. And if you’re any good, you could learn the advanced stuff.” She waved around at the party environment. “I’m fairly sure there’s *someone* here who can make that happen, no matter *where* you’re from.”

Sonata blinked a few times. The image of her cackling maniacally while standing off Starswirl briefly filled her mind. Then a buffet’s worth of tacos marched by, playing their tiny musical instruments and banging drums enthusiastically, causing mage-Sonata to lose her focus and bounce off after the deliciously musical food. Starswirl picked up mage-Sonata in his magic once more, and threw her through the portal once again as the girl gleefully chowed down on tiny, terrorized Appleloosian food.

Sonata shook her head, clearing the image. She grinned at Fate’s confused look. “I’m sure we can. Don’t worry. Clearly, I need more tacos.” She considered songs, and focused on her crystal. If she was going to try the syrupy sweet feel-good songs the Rainbooms were fond of, she might as well go whole-hog and dive into it. Sort of like Adagio pulling out the stuff buried at the bottom of her tickle trunk. The stuff the openly trashy skank would never voluntarily admit to owning, yet still went on ‘dates’ wearing from time to time.

“Now... What fits the moment?” With a grin, she made her choice.

Reaching into the pendant for just enough power to start, she gestured to the side. Purplish energy swirled out and formed a mosaic behind her, suggestive of a bunch of girls in a band. They began to play music. So lost was she in the moment, the Siren failed to notice the projection didn’t glow the deep, poisonous emerald she was so accustomed to.

The first bars of “Legend you were meant to be” drew her into the music. She began to sing, enjoying the look of surprised happiness on the other girl’s face as Sonata’s singing voice, restored to its smooth, enticing potential by the magic, reached out and pulled the girl into the song with her.

I used to think that stories were just that
Set in stone, concrete as a fact
It didn't dawn on me
That I could change history...

Sonata’s voice reached out like a wave, calling others within its range. Other partygoers, hearing the song, drifted away from the main group to the girl singing in the yard outside. And if no one knew who she was, it didn’t seem to matter.

To one side, a beautiful woman of indeterminate age with a glowing gemstone in her forehead walked to the balcony and leaned against the railing, watching the girl with a mysterious smile on her face.

Now I know I'm writing my own song
Fight my way to the ending that I want
I'll turn a tragedy
Into an Epic Fantasy!

Fate’s eyes widened as she heard Sonata’s voice shift in the second stanza. It almost sounded like a second girl. Whatever Sonata’s talent with music, Siren or not, she had real skill.

Sonata watched with glee as the blonde’s expression shifted as she altered her voice slightly. This next part was going to *totally* freak her out!

Hey, hey, hey
You can be a hero (hero) too
Oh-oh-oh
Take my hand, I'm here for you
Come away with me
Be the legend you were meant to be
You'll always be Everfree!

In the crowd, Nanoha blinked in surprise as the mystery girl Fate was with somehow shifted her voice into a *triple* descant, apparently all by herself. And the chorus again sounded like an entire group of girls singing together. Making her way across the yard to her girlfriend, she continued to listen to this impossible singing voice as the girl sang of second chances and happy discoveries.

For herself, Sonata was lost in the music. This was exactly where she loved being. In the moment, with the music swirling through and around her. She could feel the pendant’s magic drawing on the emotions of the crowd. Soon, it would turn that into energy it could draw on, and feed it back to Sonata, empowering her still further. With nothing but the pendant and two sisters, they had conquered entire civilizations, once. She wondered what she could do with it now.

After a long second chorus, she focused on the magic. Shifting to approximate the entire Rainboom band would take some effort, but she needed to for this next segment.

There was a time when fear would hold me down
'Cause I let it chain me to the ground

Look at me now, I'm soaring high
It's never boring in the sky

When I know I've got friends on my side
Whatever trials, I'll take them all in stride

Together we will shine so bright
A radiant brilliance in the night!

The words flowed out of Sonata in a long rush, even the effort to shift her voice to sound sort of like the Rainbooms was almost meaningless against how good it felt. Then she became aware of it. The magic. Infused with their emotions and pouring back to her. About to fill her with power, like it always had before. She almost lost her place in the song as the tendrils finally reached the pendant, and began to fill her with energy.

Sonata’s eyes widened as she felt the energy pour in. It felt... different. Not cold and needy, like it always had in the past. Then, when the emerald energy reached her, it filled her with power, yes. But also a deep need for more. She was always hungry. No amount of power was ever enough to fill the need for more. And she had taken more. And more. And it always filled her with a deep need to drink deeper.

Not this time. As the energy poured into her pendant, she felt something she’d never felt from her power before.

Warm.

Instead of filling her with hunger, it seemed to fill her to bursting with warmth. She finished the song mostly on autopilot, but from the enthusiastic applause from the impromptu audience, she’d done it well enough.

Sonata cupped the pendant in her hands, and stared at it. The red jewel gleamed complacently in her hands. She could somehow *tell* it was entirely happy where it was. It was with Sonata, which meant all was right with the world. And yet, the energy it had just channeled back to her was like *nothing* she’d channeled before.

She could *feel* it inside. The energy felt warm and invigorating. She knew without needing anyone to tell her that her interrupted longevity was back, as were her other advantages. But that gnawing hunger was still gone. In its place, she just felt *warm.*

“Is it the song?” Sonata whispered to the jewel. Lacking a mystical intellect of its own, it just lay in her hand, glowing happily. “Is it the lyrics? Or what Fate did? Or is it,” she added with a twisted grin, “that that Rainbooms are actually *on* to something? Adagio,” she finished with a depressed sigh, “is *really* not going to like this.”

She looked over as Fate and her girlfriend approached her. “That was awesome!” Fate gushed. “How did you *do* that with the voices back there? I’m sure you didn’t cast any spells or anything.”

“I told you,” Sonata said with a teasing grin. “I’m a Siren. Music is what we *do*.”

Nanoha gestured at the people still drifting out of the house. “Feel like any more performances?” She grinned. “You’ve definitely got an audience.”

The Siren bit her lip and started walking out into the yard proper. She spun around and pointed at the two girls. “Tacos. After this. I *definitely* need more tacos.”

Fate laughed and tapped Bardiche’s crystal to her forehead. “Absolutely. Now go rock their world!”

Making her way out to the yard, she took in the expectant faces of a wide range of strange people. Being the center of attention was nothing new to her, it still filled her with that familiar anticipation as she cued up her next performance. Since the Rainbooms’ music worked so well last time, it made sense to pick something else. Heck, maybe cover their entire performance.

As Sonata began a very heartfelt rendition of “Hope Shines Eternal,” to mystical accompaniment, the woman on the balcony shifted to the side to make room for her older sister. The dusky-skinned goddess popped the last mouthful of something spicy into her mouth and chased it down with something definitely acoholic. “So, that’s her, huh?” Urd shook her head slowly as Nanoha began to sing the chorus on the second pass while looking deep into Fate’s eyes, drawing a deep crimson blush from the blonde girl. “You are *such* a softie.”

Belldandy grinned and bit into her taco with a shrug.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Labster - 10-28-2019

I like this.  I want to put it in.  The problem is, well, BlackAeronaut was using Fate and Nanoha in the middle of the Book of Darkness arc.  Which makes her a little less useful, but I still liked how you used her.  But we have Rin Tohsaka there too, a specialist gem magician. 

Quote:Fate drifted across the edge of the party, and smiled as she saw some boy try very skittishly to chat up Nanoha. He was roughly her age, with short cropped brown hair, and a sparse frame.
Though I'd rather have had a little older Nanoha, it would make SI Ben's romance arc less problematic.  Right now that description would only describe Shaoran Li and he's already found his Most Important Person.  Unless Umino decided to show up that day, and lol!


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-28-2019

Naru might get upset if that happened... Smile

It is a good scene, yes. The only issue is that Dragonflight doesn't have access to all of the notes that we've put together over the last couple of years.

Ian, if you want in, I for one am willing to let you play in this sandbox. But that means reading our notes... which requires an account on the wiki. Surf to https://theresnothingbetter.miraheze.org/wiki/Main_Page , create an account (which is pretty much all you can do without an account), then let me know what account name you chose and I'll add "Member" rights to your account - that'll let you read the notes.

And if you want to write... well, nobody's staked any claims on the Equestria Girls yet, so that's one group you could tell stories about.



D-0. The Halloween story's wiki page is locked. Now it's up to me to turn what we have into a readable (and, dare I hope, interesting) story. In two days.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-28-2019

While I'm busy, maybe telling a story about this will keep Labster busy for a couple of days.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Dragonflight - 10-28-2019

Since I didn't know when in the timeline you pulled characters, I played it safe and put everyone roughly at the end of their established arcs. So Nanoha and Fate were post-StrikerS, the weedy kid trying to chat up Nanoha was Shinji (since I recalled a reference to Rei somewhere,) although I don't know if it's Ayanami or Hino you were talking about. But it's generic enough it could be anyone.

What made Fate my go-to for this was the connection she'd have from her own badly damaged gem artifact experience and the Sirens, who had their power crystal focus items destroyed at the end of Rainbow Rocks. The loss of a highly personal power crystal would resonate with Fate in a way it might not with a generic sorcerer, I know nothing about. The sympathy she feels is enough to overcome basic common sense. She has no clue what this girl really is, or what she might *do* with a restored crystal, but does it anyway without considering consequences. She gets lucky. A seasoned combat mage would think twice and study the crystal fragments first. Upon discovering the insane amounts of negative emotional and magical power the fragments have processed in their lifetime, a seasoned mage would refuse to do it.

As for the rest... Not sure. This was a one-off, because I was inspired to. I'm not sure I'm up to suddenly acquiring a major story arc in a world I know nothing about.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Labster - 10-29-2019

Well, thank your muse for that!

Shinji awkwardly flirting with Nanoha.... yeah.  I can see it.

We're actually not really all that far into a major story arc.  We're barely 2 months into story time.  Well, Rob is a few months ahead.  In any case, there's the obligatory README thread, followed by the first main story thread.  And then of course in a day or two, the Halloween story will be coming out -- which should hit 50 kwords, wow.

I don't need any help to stay busy Rob, my notes file has fragments from at least 4 different stories.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-29-2019

The purely mechanical parts of formatting the Halloween party story are done. Now for the more difficult part - turning the disconnected scenes into a coherent narrative. Or two narratives; we may as well keep Akari's second party separate, the way it is now.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Dragonflight - 10-29-2019

On a quick read through the readme, I'd avoid SI related stuff. The characters would be doing stuff in the environment, but I'm not a character in it. I hate Self-Insert stories for the most part, and don't feel comfortable writing that level of immersion in stories. These are stories about other people in their crazy situations, not wish-dating opportunities for me. That's just major-league *creepy*.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Labster - 10-29-2019

I agree with you on that. I'm trying to deconstruct it a bit with my SI, have an unsuccessful relationship, then also show that traits that are endearing on screen can be annoying in real life. Not that it hasn't been done before (e.g. UF CORE 3). Mostly I use my SI as a straight man to play everyone else's wackiness against.

I don't think having an self-insert is a requirement. Dartz barely has an SI, Meg has all of her memories from the other canon.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Bob Schroeck - 10-29-2019

Quote:The Siren bit her lip and started walking out into the yard proper. She spun around and pointed at the two girls. “Tacos. After this. I *definitely* need more tacos.”

...

Belldandy grinned and bit into her taco with a shrug.


.jpg   tacos-human form.jpg (Size: 51.38 KB / Downloads: 107)


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-29-2019

Just to show I wasn't twiddling my thumbs this evening, have a new scenelet.



"And if you think you need some shade but you don't want to go inside, there's always the gazebo," Ben finished.

"A gazebo? Where??" Tomo Takino pulled a wooden sword from the bag she had brought with her and started waving it around. "Have at you, foul fiend!"

"Idiot." Yomi Mizuhara grabbed Tomo's bag with one hand and rapped Tomo on the head from behind with the other.

"But somebody has to defend everybody from the dreaded gazebo!"

"Do you even know what a gazebo is?"



RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Bob Schroeck - 10-30-2019

"Of course I do! Eric told me!"

(cue entry of Eric the Cavalier from the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon, along with the rest of the party... <grin>)


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-30-2019

It's up.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-30-2019

And I just checked the "Long Pages" list on the wiki. The Halloween story is larger than the next five largest stories put together.

No wonder we're tired and snapping at each other about it.

Okay, next on my list is "finish the story where the first really big fight takes place". Then I work on the third fun get-together (skating in January 2017), then the second fun get-together (Christmas 2016). Then it's the Arc 5 story that I have on the go... and by the time that's done, maybe everybody else will be ready to go with Arc 2 and I can work on the two stories I've got for that arc.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Black Aeronaut - 10-31-2019

One last thing before I really go on Hiatus here.  Brent, you will probably find this to be very useful as the City of Venice and LA have literally buried all the evidence.

The thing about the canals in Venice, CA kept bugging me - in particular, the exact geography of where they link into the still-existing canals.

It took me some time of looking at a copy online of one of the original plans for the canals, and at the modern Google Maps before I finally figured it out.  Bear with me here, as this will take a bit of explanation.

Rialto Avenue is really only half the road it originally was.  Where it met Riviera Avenue, it originally continued northwards all the way to Westminster Avenue.  For whatever reason, this northern leg of Rialto Avenue has been renamed to make it part of Riviera Avenue.

In Google Maps, you will notice that Riviera, for whatever inane reason the city planners decided on, jogs east by one lot's space at Grand Avenue (the original location of the Grand Canal).  It continues on from there at a slight angle to intersect with Mildred Avenue, where it becomes Dell Avenue.  (This is probably why they did it - to have the road continue on at Dell Avenue - but why that awkward jog at Grand Avenue exists is beyond me.)

In the original incarnation of the canals, instead of jogging to the east, Riviera Avenue actually cut directly straight across - bridging over the aptly-named Grand Canal, and continuing in a straight line to Mildred Avenue.

Directly adjacent to Riviera Avenue on it's west side, a canal ran parallel to the road where it passed under Mildred Avenue, and immediately afterward turns west and runs for one block (where the small road Grand Canal is now located), and then turns south again (where Canal St. now lays).

To help make things more clear, I've revised my original remapping of the old canals, showing where the actual canals would be.  In addition, I've found that the canals were far wider than I would have originally guessed.  Near as I can tell, the lots all ran right up to the edge of the canals.  This was why property owners prior to the filling of the canals were able to place fencing all the way out to the canal's edge, leaving no room for a public walkway.

   

Key:
Black - Original location of Riviera Avenue
Pink - These roads did not exist - they are only marked for clarification.
Orange - Location of the original rail lines, both standard gauge and miniature - they are only marked for clarification.
Green - Possible location of a motor vehicle through-way, with bridges marked in light green.
Yellow - Bridges that were likely intended for foot-traffic only.

As you can see, Grand Canal covers a significant area that will take out several blocks.  Though if Cinder is really kicking up as much of a ruckus as I suspect she will be, this area should be fairly well vacated by the time Sakura does her thing.

Further note: I forgot to color in the bridge where Mildred Avenue would cross over the canal and intersect with Riviera Avenue.  Mildred and Riviera present another option for a motor vehicle throughway as the currently existing road now runs out to North Venice Boulevard.

Hope that this comes in handy.

I'm off now.  See you guys later.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Labster - 10-31-2019

Thanks BlackAeronaut.  I had been going off of this map which has most of those details.  I still can't tell if you could reach U.S. Island by car, or only by boat or foot bridge.  Having walked the area, I know both bridges on Venice Boulevard still exist, as does the Red Car bridge (currently in the middle of a parking lot).

I don't think Grand Canal is quite as big as you're thinking, or rather, Grand Blvd is rather wider than it should be.  The prime victim of all of this is going to be the cars.  Seriously there are like zillions of them, street parking is scarce and filled up.  I'm actually surprised they didn't turn it into more parking rather than more lanes.  That's what Amsterdam did with the Rokin -- well until they built the Noord-Zuid metro line an put a metro station there instead.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-31-2019

(10-29-2019, 08:53 AM)Dragonflight Wrote: On a quick read through the readme, I'd avoid SI related stuff. The characters would be doing stuff in the environment, but I'm not a character in it. I hate Self-Insert stories for the most part, and don't feel comfortable writing that level of immersion in stories. These are stories about other people in their crazy situations, not wish-dating opportunities for me. That's just major-league *creepy*.

If you don't want to take part, that's cool. Your muse, your keyboard, your choice.

Self-inserts as a class, though... Neopaganism, the Heralds of Valdemar series, and All The Tropes all say this: There is No One True Way. Writing a self-insert does not automatically mean writing an action series. It does not automatically mean writing a harem story, or even romantically connecting the SI with even one other character - for an example here, see "Hybrid Theory". It does not automatically put the self-insert character in the spotlight. (One thing that I was considering was killing off my self-insert in the first big battle he got involved in, then continuing to write stories about the displacees. That's not happening now, but it's still an option for somebody else.)

As for "creepy"... well, can't help you there. Your reactions aren't my reactions, and our reactions aren't other people's reactions.


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - robkelk - 10-31-2019

(10-30-2019, 08:29 PM)robkelk Wrote: It's up.
No feedback?

It's been one hour short of a full day, and the forum says it's been viewed 16 times. I'm only one of those 16 - specifically, the first one. There aren't that many search engines out there indexing the forum (I think); somebody else has to have looked at it.

No praise, no complaints - was the story really so boring that it didn't elicit any reactions at all? Did I do that bad a job as an editor?


RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - Labster - 10-31-2019

Calm down buddy, people might have parties of their own, and like I said, it's light novel length. Might take a while.