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more Johathan Coulton - Sweno - 04-22-2011
Two songs that I don't think have shown up here yet.
The Future Soon (video)
(lyrics from the wiki)
Last week I left a note on Laura's desk
It said I love you, signed, anonymous friend
Turns out she's smarter than I thought she was
She knows I wrote it, now the whole class does too
And I'm all alone during couple skate
When she skates by with some guy on her arm
But I know that I'll forget the look of pity in her face
When I'm living in my solar dome on a platform in space
'Cause it's gonna be the future soon
And I won't always be this way
When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away
It's gonna be the future soon
I've never seen it quite so clear
And when my heart is breaking I can close my eyes and it's already here
I'll probably be some kind of scientist
Building inventions in my space lab in space
I'll end world hunger, I'll make dolphins speak
Work through the daytime, spend my nights and weekends
Perfecting my warrior robot race
Building them one laser gun at a time
I will do my best to teach them
About life and what it's worth
I just hope that I can keep them from destroying the Earth
'Cause it's gonna be the future soon
And I won't always be this way
When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away
It's gonna be the future soon
I've never seen it quite so clear
And when my heart is breaking I can close my eyes and it's already
Here on Earth they'll wonder
As I piece by piece replace myself
And the steel and circuits will make me whole
But I'll still feel so alone
Until Laura calls me home
I'll see her standing by the monorail
She'll look the same except for bionic eyes
She lost the real ones in the robot wars
I'll say I'm sorry, she'll say it's not your fault
Or is it?
She'll eye me suspiciously
Hearing the whir of the servos inside
And she'll scream and try to run
But there's nowhere she can hide
When a crazy cyborg wants to make you his robot bride
Well it's gonna be the future soon
And I won't always be this way
When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away
It's gonna be the future soon
I've never seen it quite so clear
And when my heart is breaking I can close my eyes and it's already here
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I can see two things coming out of this:
1) four minute vision of what he is going to be doing next week (strong preference of getting those four minutes to be work/tech related). Or
2) summon robots (who will try to find the closest approximate bridal candidate/Maggie)
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Shop Vac (Video)
(Lyrics from the wiki)
We took the freeway out of town
We found a place to settle down
We bought a driveway and a swingset and a dog
You got your very own bathroom
I got my very own workshop in the basement
We sit around staring at the wall-to-wall
Take field trips to our favorite mall
Waiting for the day when all the kids grow up and leave us here
So if you need me
I'll be downstairs
With the shop vac
You can call but I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on
(For heaven's sake it's really loud with the shop vac on)
But you'll be OK
Cause you'll be upstairs
With the TV
You can cry and I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on
We hung a flag above the door
Checked out the gourmet grocery store
I bought a mower I can ride around the yard
But we haven't got real friends
And now even the fake ones have stopped calling
Maybe if you forget to hide the keys
I'll take a ride to Applebee's
I'll come home drunk on daiquiris and throw up on the neighbor's lawn
If you need me
I'll be downstairs
With the shop vac
You can call but I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on
(For heaven's sake it's really loud with the shop vac on)
But you'll be OK
Cause you'll be upstairs
With the TV
You can cry and I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on
I like the Starbucks here that's better than the other one
Cause the other one's not as good
They really need to put a light there cause it's hard to turn
It's hard to make a left turn
And when it's time to go to bed
I'm still awake inside my head
I'm floating up above the house and looking down
I guess I gotta go back there
I guess there never was any other answer
And as the freeway hums the cars go by
The headlights roll across the sky
Many miles away and I can see them speeding through the dark
If you need me
I'll be downstairs
With the shop vac
You can call but I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on
(For heaven's sake it's really loud with the shop vac on)
But you'll be OK
Cause you'll be upstairs
With the TV
You can cry and I probably won't hear you
Because it's loud with the shop vac on
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Power: summon (loud) shop vac, with optional side of dysfunctional relationship.
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I was also going to list I Crush Everything (now with video), but someone already did that. I just find the idea of a depressed lovesick kraken humorous.
-Terry
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"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy
- Bob Schroeck - 04-22-2011
I've got to run to an appointment (not a job interview, sadly), so I can't comment on these right now. But I wanted to see what they were before I had to leave...
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.