Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Another teaser from chapter two...
RE: Another teaser from chapter two...
#3
Minor spelling error in the second paragraph:

Quote:She lay spread-eagle on her bed, her hed head hanging over the edge with her ponytails draping down to either side of her to pool on the floor below.


I'm not sure about Luna's use of the phrase "a kind of science and engineering combined."  Engineering doesn't work without science, even if the engineers aren't thinking of it in those terms, so "science and engineering combined" in reality is just engineering that works.  It seems to me that it might be more accurate if she said something like, "a kind of science; his approach amounts to engineering, but using the magical rather than the non-magical aspects of nature."  

Of course, you've established that Luna is still partly amnesiac, so maybe that's causing her to use less-precise language than she normally would've.  Or maybe, as a "lay practitioner," her grasp on magical theory isn't all it could be.  She doesn't have a Doctorate in Astral Physics, I'm guessing.
-----
"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that this was some killer weed."
Reply


Messages In This Thread
RE: Another teaser from chapter two... - by DHBirr - 11-29-2017, 10:53 PM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)