You know the Two Cows guide to Politics, right?
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
...and so on.
So. I was thinking about this, and...well, I'm not sure if this has been done before, but what the hell. =)
I now give you:
The Two Cows guide to City of Heroes
VAHZILOK: You have two cows. You kill one cow and put its organs into the other cow. The cow explodes.
KHELDIANS: You have two cows. One of your cows is actually a squid.
LOST: You have two cows. They are slowly mutating into elephants.
RIKTI: You have two cows. The cows take over your farm.
HELLIONS: You have two cows. You kill one cows and use its blood in Satanic rituals. The other cow gets made into a purse.
SKULLS: You have two cows. You kill a cow and wear its skull on your head. You call the other cow 'daddy'.
5TH COLUMN/COUNCIL: You have two cows. One cow takes over the other cow. That cow is never seen again.
SIDEKICKING: You have two cows. One of the cows is smaller than the other. But you can't tell the difference if they're standing close together.
EXEMPLARING: You have two cows. One cow is bigger than the other cow. You pretend they are the same.
INSPIRATIONS: You have two cows. Your cows eat some grass. Your cows are now more powerful.
TROLLS: You have two cows. Your cows smoke some grass. Your cows turn green.
DEVOURING EARTH: You have two cows. The grass eats your cows.
ARACHNOS: You have two cows. You work for the cows. You eventually gain cow powers.
BADGES: You have two cows. Your bar is not full. You must kill two hundred cows.
RIKTI WAR ZONE: You have two cows. You force them into the same herd. But they do not share grass.
PVP: You have two cows. One of the cows was a stalker. You now have no cows.
NEMESIS: You have two cows. Or do you? Maybe they aren't really cows. Or is there a purpose behind these cows? The cows are proceeding according to plan.
COSTUME CONTEST: You have two cows. You line your cows up with a bunch of other cows.
FAMILY: You have two cows. The boss takes one cow. You find the head of the other cow in your bed.
MALTA: There are no cows.
MALTA TITANS: You have two cows. They combine into a bigger cow.
KNIVES OF ARTEMIS: You have two cows. Not bulls. Definitely not bulls. Your cows have cowtrops.
CIRCLE OF THORNS: You have two cows. Nobody wants to kill your cows. Beef becomes very expensive.
PRAETORIANS: You have two cows. They look identical, except one cow is mad.
OUROBOROS: You have two cows. No, wait. You had two cows. Or...are you supposed to have two cows, but not yet? Damnit...
WENTWORTHS/BLACK MARKET: You have two cows. You sell one cow for half its value. You sell the other cow at a ridiculously high price and retire on the proceeds.
OUTBREAK: You have two cows. Your cows are very sick. Yet everyone wants your cows.
SHIVANS: You have two cows. You only bring out your cows when faced with a bigger cow.
CLOCKWORK: You have two cows. You build more cows.
FREAKSHOW: You have two cows. One of them is self-milking. The other has a built-in cattle prod.
PARAGON PROTECTORS: You have two cows. You take their genetic material and clone an army of cows.
CREY: You do not have cows. There are no cows on your farm. You only have sheep. You do not know where the manure came from.
...
More later, but...c'mon, folks, I'm sure you can help me out here. =D
(I'll probably wanna crosspost this to the official CoH forums when we hit critical mass.)
-- Acyl
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
...and so on.
So. I was thinking about this, and...well, I'm not sure if this has been done before, but what the hell. =)
I now give you:
The Two Cows guide to City of Heroes
VAHZILOK: You have two cows. You kill one cow and put its organs into the other cow. The cow explodes.
KHELDIANS: You have two cows. One of your cows is actually a squid.
LOST: You have two cows. They are slowly mutating into elephants.
RIKTI: You have two cows. The cows take over your farm.
HELLIONS: You have two cows. You kill one cows and use its blood in Satanic rituals. The other cow gets made into a purse.
SKULLS: You have two cows. You kill a cow and wear its skull on your head. You call the other cow 'daddy'.
5TH COLUMN/COUNCIL: You have two cows. One cow takes over the other cow. That cow is never seen again.
SIDEKICKING: You have two cows. One of the cows is smaller than the other. But you can't tell the difference if they're standing close together.
EXEMPLARING: You have two cows. One cow is bigger than the other cow. You pretend they are the same.
INSPIRATIONS: You have two cows. Your cows eat some grass. Your cows are now more powerful.
TROLLS: You have two cows. Your cows smoke some grass. Your cows turn green.
DEVOURING EARTH: You have two cows. The grass eats your cows.
ARACHNOS: You have two cows. You work for the cows. You eventually gain cow powers.
BADGES: You have two cows. Your bar is not full. You must kill two hundred cows.
RIKTI WAR ZONE: You have two cows. You force them into the same herd. But they do not share grass.
PVP: You have two cows. One of the cows was a stalker. You now have no cows.
NEMESIS: You have two cows. Or do you? Maybe they aren't really cows. Or is there a purpose behind these cows? The cows are proceeding according to plan.
COSTUME CONTEST: You have two cows. You line your cows up with a bunch of other cows.
FAMILY: You have two cows. The boss takes one cow. You find the head of the other cow in your bed.
MALTA: There are no cows.
MALTA TITANS: You have two cows. They combine into a bigger cow.
KNIVES OF ARTEMIS: You have two cows. Not bulls. Definitely not bulls. Your cows have cowtrops.
CIRCLE OF THORNS: You have two cows. Nobody wants to kill your cows. Beef becomes very expensive.
PRAETORIANS: You have two cows. They look identical, except one cow is mad.
OUROBOROS: You have two cows. No, wait. You had two cows. Or...are you supposed to have two cows, but not yet? Damnit...
WENTWORTHS/BLACK MARKET: You have two cows. You sell one cow for half its value. You sell the other cow at a ridiculously high price and retire on the proceeds.
OUTBREAK: You have two cows. Your cows are very sick. Yet everyone wants your cows.
SHIVANS: You have two cows. You only bring out your cows when faced with a bigger cow.
CLOCKWORK: You have two cows. You build more cows.
FREAKSHOW: You have two cows. One of them is self-milking. The other has a built-in cattle prod.
PARAGON PROTECTORS: You have two cows. You take their genetic material and clone an army of cows.
CREY: You do not have cows. There are no cows on your farm. You only have sheep. You do not know where the manure came from.
...
More later, but...c'mon, folks, I'm sure you can help me out here. =D
(I'll probably wanna crosspost this to the official CoH forums when we hit critical mass.)
-- Acyl