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A bit of Harry Potter
A bit of Harry Potter
#1
Yeah, I worked this into a standalone short-short, as I mentioned I might in the other thread. Enjoy.

The Fulfillment of Prophecy

by Robert M. Schroeck

Harry Potter stood in a pool of Voldemort's cooling blood,
staring intently at the Minister of Magic. In his left hand he
still held his broomstick like a scepter, a faint haze of golden
energy still wafting from the upraised bristles. Over his open
right hand a quaffle floated, cloaked in a faint white glow. A
golden snitch and a pair of bludgers obediently orbited his body.

At his feet lay the twisted, broken corpse of the so-called Dark
Lord. Its eyes were still wide with the terror Tom Riddle had
felt as death finally took him. To the side, Severus Snape lay
on the floor curled into a foetal ball, gibbering mindlessly.

Behind Harry stood the forces of Potter's Army, a hundred and
more young witches and wizards in their invisibility cloaks, all
taught by him, all wielding magicks the like of which none had
ever seen before. Each one was blooded in battle. Each one was
a fanatic. At their head stood the most fanatic of all, Harry's
five lieutenants -- Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley,
Neville Longbottom, and Luna Lovegood -- their eyes all aglow
with the devotion they held for the man who now faced the
government of Wizarding England with a confidence and power that
was palpable.

In the moment of silence, one could hear the roars of the great
wyrms that had carried them to battle and which now circled the
building.

"Now, see here, Potter..." the Minister began, his blustering
tone at odds with the half-cower his body kept trying to slip
into.

"No," Harry interrupted, and his voice held the force of a
stunning charm, all but knocking the Minister off his feet.
"*You* will see." He turned slowly in place, his implacable gaze
sweeping the gathered members of the Wizangamot, the few
surviving Death Eaters, and those of the press who had forced
their way in to the scene of his final triumph. "You will *all*
see."

He turned back to the Minister, and raised the broomstick to
point at him with its bristles. "I am taking control now. You
will cede all governance to me."

*So this is what it has come to,* Minerva McGonagall thought
despondently as Potter's Army began a chant of "Boy-Who-Lived!
Boy-Who-Lived!" *Fifty generations and more we have guided the
Wizarding World, urging the strong to breed with the strong,
culling and training them with the Game, in the hopes of creating
the ultimate wizard. But all our seers agreed -- he was not to
be born for another century! Damn Lily Evans for her
disobedience!*

Minerva was snapped back to awareness of the events around her by
a sudden silence, and upbraided herself for woolgathering. She
must have missed something critical in her distraction -- the
Minister and the assembled members of the Wizengamot were now
kneeling to Harry, who stood unharmed in a pillar of golden fire.

Outrage filled her, and for a moment she forgot the danger as
old reflexes took hold. "Mister Potter!" she snapped before
she regained control of herself.

He turned his eyes, themselves blazing with golden light, upon
her. "You object, Professor? He who can destroy a thing,
controls a thing. And with one word, I can destroy all of
England's magic. Who better to rule these sheep and
incompetents?" She tore her eyes away from his, and he smiled,
shifting his attention again to the room at large. "I am tired of
the petty conflicts that wrack our world, and I say, No more! No
more pureblood, no more half-blood, no more muggle-born! We are
all *wizards,* no more, no less. The prejudices of the old days
will be dispensed with. This I decree, this I *will* make so."
His blazing eyes narrowed as he smiled slyly. "Starting with
those who supported the corpse at my feet."

He raised the broom, then slammed the end of its handle upon the
stone floor. A ripple of crimson light erupted from the point
where it struck and expanded to race outward across the room and
through the walls. Minerva flinched and cringed, humiliated and
angry at herself for her reaction, as it flowed over and through
her.

Where the red light passed, witches and wizards died. The
surviving Death Eaters screamed and burst into flame to a man, as
did Snape and far more members of the Wizengamot and the press
than Minerva had expected. *The Arcane Mother will be furious to
learn how poor our intelligence was after all,* she mused
absently as she felt the beginnings of a compulsion spell
creeping over her. *We had thought that we controlled the...
the...*

To her sudden horror, she realized that there was something
there, some concept that she had been familiar with, had
discussed and mused over on a daily basis, that she could no
longer even *think*. She desperately wracked her brains, for she
knew in her bones that it was important to the Sisterhood, this
concept which eluded her. What was it about those who had died?
The only thing that they had in common was that they had all been
members of families of long standing in the Wizarding World,
families who had produced continuous lines of wizards for
centuries. But there was nothing special about that...

"And so it is done," Potter announced imperiously. "The old
prejudices are gone."

*What *is* he babbling about?* Minerva thought angrily as she
grasped vainly for a concept she was certain she had known only
minutes before, but whose very *existence* had been purged from
her mind and the mind of every witch and wizard in England.

So distracted was she that Minerva barely noticed as Ginny
Weasley stepped forward from the rank of Lieutenants.

"And how can he do this?" Ginny asked rhetorically, her clear
soprano voice echoing throughout the Great Hall and somehow
overwhelming the panicked murmurs of the onlookers. "Because he
*is* the Quidditch Haderach!"

FIN

My apologies to J.K. Rowling and the estate of Frank Herbert.

Happy April Fool's Day!


-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.
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Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#2
*headdesk^infinity*
--Sam
"Better to be a woman drinking beer without a head than to be a man without a head drinking beer without a woman."
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Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#3
*groan* *********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org
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Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#4
Groan[squared]
And even though I saw the Dune parody the moment we tuned into McGonagall's thoughts, the magnificently horrific pun at the end came as a complete surprise.
Incidentally, has anyone ever come up with a real explanation of what the Kwisatz Haderach would be good for? As far as I could tell from Dune, the B.G. just decided that thousands of generations of selective breeding to produce a superhuman would be cool. They didn't seem to have any plan for what to do with him once he existed. Yes, Appendix III says they were being manipulated by someone else -- but what did they think they were doing?
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
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Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#5
Quote:
My apologies to J.K. Rowling and the estate of Frank Herbert.
And, boy would you need it if they ever found out! Smile
About the only thing you missed was "My name is a killing word..."
Awesome!
Reply
Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#6
Quote:
About the only thing you missed was "My name is a killing word..."
To be fair, it would be hard to fit in a Ms. Ava Dakevadra.
*ducks!*---------------
-Jon
Being the Mariner hitting coach is like being the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.
-Poster on USSMariner.com
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"
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Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#7
Quote:
Incidentally, has anyone ever come up with a real explanation of what the Kwisatz Haderach would be good for? As far as I could tell from Dune, the B.G. just decided that thousands of generations of selective breeding to produce a superhuman would be cool. They didn't seem to have any plan for what to do with him once he existed. Yes, Appendix III says they were being manipulated by someone else -- but what did they think they were doing?

You know, now that you mention it, WTF were the B.G. witches trying to accomplish?
He Who Controls The Snitch, Controls The Universe!Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979
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Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#8
Quote:
About the only thing you missed was "My name is a killing word..."
Well, that's not exactly book-canon Dune, although, yeah, I was using the end of the movie as my model. (Short redhead in black robes gives final line? Check!) I did work in the fact that "Boy who lived" and "Muad'dib" both scan almost the same, though...
Quote:
Awesome!
Thank you -- Balentius and everyone else!
BTW, the "argument" in the other thread about teasers was a complete put-on designed to lay the groundwork for this little bit of fun.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.
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Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#9
The Bene Gesserit were after the same thing everyone else wanted... real ultimate power. They sought this power through politics and their breeding program.
The breeding program was to bring forth a human capable of viewing, with the spice-induced visions, the parts of the human psyche that women were unable to. They believed such a human would be more or less omnipotent with the gift of prescience. Of course, if they controlled such a human, their grasp on the universe would be complete and eternal.
~Freddy Isnot
-Freddy Isnot

"You are now graduated from newbie and are just clueless. Consider that a compliment."
-Zipcode
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Re: A bit of Harry Potter
#10
Before I forget -- since the only reason this thread was in the "Future Steps" area was as a deceitful lead-in to an April Fool's joke, I'm going to be moving this to "Other Fan Writing".

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.
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#11
I'm not sure, but I believe a plan consisting of:

a) Create omniscient being.

b) Manipulate omniscient being for own purposes.

May be a little badly thought out.
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#12
To say the least.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#13
was just backlinked here from Less Wrong's author page on fanfiction.net, where he refers to this as a 'horrible little story'...

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2269863/Less_Wrong
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
Reply
 
#14
Thanks for telling me!
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#15
So... This means he's drifted through these forums at least once, doesn't it? I wonder how he found his way here.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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#16
Probably through googling the title, since it's linked quite extensively in the fic-update threads. If he's anything like me, he's probably just interesting in knowing who and where his stories are being read.
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
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#17
Hmmm... Googling the story's title doesn't seem to bring us up though, as far as I can tell. At least, it doesn't bring us up in the first hundred results. Maybe he's using a search string that I'm not though, so it's not impossible. Admittedly, I've only tried three.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
Reply
 
#18
Makes sense. If he were googling on some combination of content that would lead him directly to this story, he should have ended up at the copy on my website.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#19
It might be my fault - folks on another forum were looking for unusual Harry Potter stories, and I mentioned this one.

Here's hoping at least some of the curious onlookers stay to chat, no matter what brought them here...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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