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[IC][Story][Arc 1] They go to the land of the ice and snow
[IC][Story][Arc 1] They go to the land of the ice and snow
#1
Star 
OOC: But no midnight sun, and no hot springs flow. And this joke's going over like a lead balloon, isn't it? However, they are immigrants.



Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 20, 2016
12:03 pm


Rob's phone started playing Science Genius Girl. "Sorry, I'd better take this," he said as he stood up and left the table.

Once he was in the hall, he answered the phone. "Hello, Washuu-chan."

"What took you so long?"

"You pulled me away from Sunday luncheon with everyone."

"Not everyone."

"I assure you, all twelve of my human roommates and all three cats are enjoying a roast beef dinner - a meal that I made for the very first time since moving into this building, and that I'm not enjoying because I'm talking on the phone." Rob emphasized those last five words just slightly.

"Sorry. But you're missing a half-dozen boarders. No, you called them roommates. So you're getting to be a family up there."

"We are, and we're happy about it. And I'm glad Skuld-sama dropped that hint when she was over so I'd know enough to get some rooms ready. You've finished treating their pre-existing medical conditions, I gather."

"That saves a lot of exposition. When do you want us to drop in?"

Rob thought for a quick moment. "Give us two hours, to finish lunch and clean up the place a bit."



2:05 pm

The monitor that normally displayed the Good Neighbor System's status flickered, then displayed "Portal Opening in Ten Seconds". The display counted down, and when the number reached zero, the door to Washuu's lab appeared on the wall. Rob quickly cleared the chairs from that wall, then knocked twice on the door.

As the monitor returned to normal, the door opened. "Who is it?"

Rob sighed. "Come on out, Washuu-chan. We have a busy afternoon ahead of us."

"Busier than you might expect. Last stop, all out!" Washuu stepped out of the doorway, followed by four girls who looked just like Mikoto, one who appeared to be their younger sister, and a thin pale white-haired teenaged boy. "So, this is where we'll be staying from now on. Tch. Whatever."

Makoto leaned over to Rei. "He reminds me of my sempai. The one who dumped me."

"Oh, that jerk. Maybe he'll be better."

Everyone else ignored them. The apparent quadruplets - who had been carrying a backpack each - turned to Rob. Amazingly, one of them smiled slightly. "Thank you for being willing to take us in, Mikoto Niiko says with genuine warmth," she said almost tonelessly.

Rob was impressed. Considering that the last time he had seen the clones, they hadn't learned how to show any expressions, this was a major step forward for them. "Thank you for being willing to live here. I should warn you now that Ottawa is nowhere near as warm as San Antonio is."

"The cold never bothered me anyway, Misaka Rei quotes."

"This cold might. The temperature outside is near the freezing point of water, and in two months you'll be wishing it was this warm again."

"We have warm weather gear, Misaka Kokono points out."

"You'll need it," Kuroko assured them.

The other sister looked around. "None of you are wearing skirts, Misaka Nana comments in wonder, leaving the obvious question unspoken."

"It's far too cold outside to not wear slacks," Usagi explained.

"Where will we be sleeping, Misaka Rei asks? We have belongings to unpack."

Rob motioned toward the stairs. "I've converted three of the storerooms to double-occupancy rooms, as a stopgap measure. Each room has two beds, two dressers, two desks, and no privacy. You'll have to use the washrooms attached to the communal bath."

"And wait until you see the bath!" Ruiko almost grabbed Accelerator by the hand to pull him along, realized at the last moment what she was doing, then dropped her hands to her sides. "Er... if you want to see the bath, that is."

"Later, Rui-chan." Rob turned his attention back to the newcomers. "If you don't mind somewhat Spartan conditions, you can stay in those rooms for the long term, or we can ask politely if Wahsuu-chan would be willing to create another subspace pocket here with room enough for everyone, or we can start doubling up in the apartments we already have."

"I'd be happy to give up my apartment and move back in with onee-sama."

"You really don't need to do that, Kuroko," Mikoto replied quickly.

"Since you have some contingency plans," Washuu interjected, "I'd be happy to create some rooms for you."

Rob leaned over to Washuu. "And if we didn't?" he whispered.

"Then you'd be out of luck." She turned to the people who had accompanied her. "What do you want me to set up? One room for each of you, or a bunkroom for the four Sisters and three separate rooms?"

Mii raised her hand. "Three separate rooms? Wouldn't you need only two more rooms?"

Washuu slapped her own forehead. "That's right, I forgot to tell you!" She pulled a wafer-thin device out of her pocket.

"What's this?" Rob asked.

Washuu-chan grinned. "Based on my detailed and repeated studies of your boarders from Academy City, Accelerator, and the Misaka Sisters, I have created an AIM Concentrator and Manifester!"

Two puppets popped up, one on each of her shoulders. "You're a genius, Washuu-chan! You're the greatest, Washuu-chan!"

'Hey, that's from a different continuity,' thought Rob. In the most deadpan voice he could muster, all he said was "What."

"Misaka Misaka likes them, and she was my lab assistant during the design phase. Back in your cages, you two!" The puppets returned to whence they came. "As I was saying, this collects and concentrates the AIM fields that your espers give off, focuses them, and allows them to manifest in an anthropomorphized state."

"You're kidding. You're not kidding. Who was manifested?"

"When I tried it with just Misaka Misaka in the lab, it manifested a one-inch-tall version of her. When I tried it with all of the Misaka sisters in the lab, it manifested a three-inch-tall version of Misaka Mikoto. I want to try it out here, with every esper on the planet within range."

Rob reached out and covered the activation button before Washuu could trigger the device. "How long did the manifested personality remain in existence?"

"Until I turned off the manifester. Yes, that means the personification remained even after the Misaka sisters left the area."

Rob thought for a moment, then moved his hand away.

"You're expecting somebody in particular, too. Let's find out whether we're right." Washuu flipped the safety cover open, pushed the button, and flipped the cover back over the control. Everybody watched as the device hummed, then quieted down. Then a light appeared above the device, resolving into a human shape - a teenaged girl in a Japanese school uniform, with a ponytail on the left side of her head, glasses over her eyes, flawless skin, and a build that even Mii would be hard-pressed to match. Washuu looked at Rob. "Am I good, or am I good?"

"You're good, Washuu-chan. I'm surprised that she's twelve inches tall, though."

"More espers being present means there a larger AIM diffusion field to work with."

"How many espers are there on Earth right now?"

The girl suddenly moved, then smiled and cleared her throat. "Er... hello?"

Rob immediately turned his attention to her. "Hello, miss. My name's Rob Donaldson. I'm pleased to meet you."

"Kazakiri Hyoga. I'm pleased to meet you." She looked around. "Oh, I was hoping to see Index."

"You aren't in Academy City at the moment, Hyoga-chan. We don't know where Index and Touma are, but we are looking for them. Sorry." Rob grinned sheepishly.

"It would be nice if we could find them."

Hyoga turned to the speaker. "Hello! I know who you are. You're Railgun."

"Please don't call me that. I have a name: Misaka Mikoto."

While Hyoga, Mikoto, and the other espers talked, Ami leaned over to Rob and Washuu. "What's an A I M diffusion field?"

"Something that espers from Academy City give off simply by living. AIM stands for 'an involuntary movement'. Please don't ask me for specifics, because I don't have any. Hyoga is... well, you've seen the anime, haven't you?"

"I must have missed the episodes that she was in. I'll have to watch them later."

She'd missed the climaxes to both seasons of A Certain Magical Index? Rob didn't push the matter, but made a mental note to find out later whether Ami had watched any of the shows he'd made available to everyone. "Washuu-chan, how long will the power last on that manifester?"

"Until my lab collapses in the heat death of its pocket universe. You don't need to worry about her disappearing because the power ran out."

"Oh, good." Then Rob smiled and chuckled.

"Care to share the joke?"

"If Hyoga ends up dating someone, that person's going to have a real-life imaginary girlfriend."

Ruiko grinned at Rob's remark. "The Imaginary Number District actually exists? I knew it! Is it true that I could get there if I crossed between districts in Academy City at 4:44 pm?"

"No, Saten-san, real people can't enter the Imaginary Number District. Only monsters like me."

Mikoto interrupted before Hyoga could continue. "We don't care what Academy City intended you to be. We care who you are, not what you are. From what I read in the novels, Kamijo-san and Index-san think you're a person - a good person - so that's good enough for me."

Hyoga smiled a shaky smile. "Really?" She started crying. "You really think so?"

"Hey! Please don't cry, Misaka Misaka asks with tears about to fall from her own eyes!"

Off to the side, Rob leaned over to Washuu. "Is it my imagination, or did Kazakiri just get bigger?"

"I think she just grew, too. The espers might be responsible, with their sudden belief in her existance."

"She isn't Tinkerbell."

"And nobody's clapping. I need to take some measurements."



Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 21, 2016
7:22 am


Rob nodded to the three girls who walked into the common room. "Good morning, Chibi-Usa, Misaka Misaka, Hyoga!" He noticed they were all roughly the same height, and Hyoga was wearing the manifester on a filigree chain around her neck. "You might want to get a more substantial chain for that necklace, Hyoga."

"Good morning, Rob! Thank you for worrying about me."

"Hi, Rob-oji-san!"

"Good morning, Rob, says Misaka Misaka as she walks to the refrigerator. Do we have any juice, Misaka Misaka asks?"

"Orange, apple, and pineapple. Take your pick."

"Orange, please, Misaka Misaka decides."

Hyoga poured herself a cup of coffee. "Why do you always use your full name, Misaka?"

"So nobody thinks I'm one of my sisters, Misaka Misaka answers! I have lots of sisters, Misaka Misaka adds in explanation."

"The number of Misaka Sisters! It's over nine thousand!" Everyone else ignored Rob.

"My name's Usagi, just like my mom, but everybody calls me Chibi-Usa. It's a nickname!"

"Misaka Misaka wants a nickname too, Misaka Misaka insists!"

Rob smiled as he brought a plate of toast over to the table and sat down beside Hyoga. "Well, then, let's see what we can come up with. How about 'Chibi-Misaka'?"

"That's too close to my nickname."

"What's wrong with Last Order?" asked Hyoga.

"The connection between us isn't something people should know, Misaka Misaka replies with foreboding while buttering a slice of toast."

Rob nodded. As far as Academy City was concerned, the 'last order' that Misaka Misaka was ever intended to give was to activate Hyoga; it was only because Index could undo what was done to the girl that both Misaka Misaka and Hyoga were still themselves and sane.

"Call her 'needlessly genki girl'."

Rob didn't look up. "And good morning to you too, Accelerator. Coffee's on the counter, toast is on the table."

"Whatever."

"Misaka ... Misaka ... Misaka ... Misaka Misaka. It's hard to come up with a nickname, Misaka Misaka announces! Misaka Misaka Misaka Misa Misa...."

"Misa Misaka? That's not too bad." Hyoga tilted her head and lifted a finger to her chin. "No, wait, wasn't there something about a magical girl named Misa somewhere?"

"Misa Misa Misa Misa Misa Mi Mi Mi ..."

Hyoga thought for a moment. "Mi Misaka? That could work."

Rob shook his head. "That could cause some confusion if Mii was ever to adopt her."

"Why would Konori-san adopt Misaka Misaka, Misaka Misaka asks? Besides, Mi and Mii are two different names, Misaka Misaka adds. Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi MiMiMi..."

Rob blinked. "Mimi?"

"Mimi Misaka?" Chibi-Usa almost sang the name.

"Misaka Misaka likes Mimi Misaka, Misaka Misaka announces! No, Mimi Misaka announces, Mimi Misaka corrects herself!"

"This is bull-"

"Thank you, Accelerator," Rob interrupted as his phone chimed to indicate receiving a message. "Mimi it is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take this."

After Rob left, the newly-christened Mimi turned to Chibi-Usa. "He never told us why Konori-san might adopt me, Mimi Misaka comments in a confidential tone."

"Eat your breakfast, brat."

"That's Mimi brat, Mimi Misaka insists!"

In the hallway, Rob checked the text message, noting it was from Washuu-chan. "Measurements analyzed. Hyoga should reach her full human size within 24 hours. I'm making ID for her now. Do you want to foster her, too?"

He sent back "List her as 17, and we can get away with her being an emancipated minor."

"That means you won't get fosterage money from the government."

"We'll manage somehow."





To be continued...





Next time:

"Girls, if you don't stop freaking the mundanes right now, then I won't pay your range fees."
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
RE: [IC][Story][Arc 1] They go to the land of the ice and snow
#2
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 21, 2016
10:13 am


"You should be asking the RCMP. They're the ones who are responsible for this."

Rob sighed. "I don't want to lie to a police officer, and how would they react if I said 'I have four fictional characters living with me who need firearms licenses'?"

"I can see where that would be a problem. Okay: first, I absolutely cannot let you practice at the range at the police station. Second ... you said four. Some of the Misaka clones?"

"I can see why you made detective so young. Yes."

"The minor's license is good for non-restricted rifles and shotguns only. And you'll need a possession and acquisition license, too, since they're living with you."

"I expected as much. What's required for these?"

"Each of you has to take the Canadian Firearms Safety Course - the RA Centre has a shooting range and can find you instructors. Once you pass that, you can apply for your PAL and the girls' licenses."

"And what will that let me buy?"

"I assume you want to buy weapons for your own use, not for theirs. No, don't interrupt me. That will let you purchase non-restricted firearms only. If you want something else, you'll need to take the Canadian Restricted Firearms Safety Course as well. And don't bother asking for a license for those automatic rifles I saw them use in the anime, because those are on the prohibited list. Oh, and do me a favour, will you? Let the shooting club keep your weapons under lock and key. I don't want the girls walking around with weapons in their gym bags."

"That shouldn't be a problem; neither do I. Thanks for the help."



11:48 am


"It's somewhat unusual for the RA Centre to include foster children in a family membership, Mr. Donaldson."

"I'm not surprised, but they're the only family I have. Would you allow children to become members on their own?"

The desk clerk thought for a moment. "I think I can see my way clear to setting you up as a family, then. What are the children's names?"

"Niiko Misaka, Kokono Misaka, Nana Misaka, and Rei Misaka." Rob spelled the names for the clerk.

"Ages?"

This wasn't the time or the place to tell the truth. "13."

"What, all of them?"

"And they're identical quadruplets, too. Identical down to their interests, which is one reason why I'm fostering them all. They want to join the Gun Club."

The clerk was shocked. "All of them? At age 13? My God, what happened to them?"

Rob looked stern. "Even if I had been told that, I wouldn't be at liberty to repeat it. But I'll point out that they've been given a male guardian."

"Oh. Yes. Of course. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that." The clerk cleared her throat. "Are you interested in the Gun Club as well?"

"Not really, but I'll have to get a license if the girls are going to be allowed to get their licenses, so sign me up, too. Sign me up for the Photography Club as well, please."

The clerk grinned. "You're interested in a different kind of shooting."



7:14 pm


There weren't any instructors at the gun club that evening to give them their introductory exam, so the Misaka sisters decided to give the building's bath a try instead. Once they stepped through the portal into the dimensional pocket, they noticed two doors, labelled "Ladies" and "Rob" - the latter obviously having recently had "and Mamoru" added. None of them expressed any interest in seeing what the men's side of the baths looked like.

It was almost normal for an onsen, the most obvious difference being that all the signs were in English. Nothing was floating, there was only one level to the bath, and there was a mural of Mount Fuji painted on the rear wall of the room.

The sisters stripped, washed, and entered the bath in complete silence. Not that they weren't communicating; they were taking the opportunity to use their mental connection when nobody would be freaked out by it.

After a while, they heard the door open. "Is anybody in here?"

So much for not freaking out anyone else. But they remembered from the memories Last Order - Mimi - had shared that Hyoga wasn't just anyone else. Looked at from a certain point of view, she was almost one of them.

"The four of us are currently soaking, Misaka Niiko answers."

"You are welcome to join us, Misaka Rei adds."

After a few moments, Hyoga walked in, wearing only a towel - which she slipped out of as she slipped into the water. "Oh, this feels good! I've never been in a communal bath before."

The others looked at her for a moment. After consulting with each other mentally, they decided who would ask the question on their shared minds. "If I am prying, please ignore this question, but why are your breasts different from ours, Misaka Niiko asks?"

Hyoga blushed. "Well, some girls just have larger ..."

"That is not what we meant, Misaka Rei interrupts in order to save time." She pointed to her own chest. "We have aureolae and nipples." She consciously left 'Rei adds in explanation' unsaid as obvious.

Hyoga took a closer look. "Is that normal? I've never seen a person naked before, either. Even when Index and I were having our photos taken while cosplaying, we still wore underwear when we were changing."

"It's completely normal, Misaka Kokono answers."

Hyoga said nothing for a moment. "Then... why don't I have them?"

"We don't know, Misaka Nana answers."

"Perhaps Rob knows, or could find out, Misaka Rei suggests."

"I don't think I want to show him my naked chest."

"We can describe the differences between us without showing him anything, Misaka Niiko suggests. Are there any other anatomical differences between us, Niiko asks while standing in the bath."

Hyoga looked at her, nodded, and stood up herself.



8:27 pm


"... and the first thing that came to mind was a Barbie doll, Misaka Niiko finishes."

Rob thought for a moment, then turned to Hyoga. "I'm not surprised. Aleister and his people designed you to be an artificial angel, after all, and angels are traditionally described as being sexless."

"I'm obviously female, though."

"True. Aleister Crowley imagined angels as something quite different from the usual description - although you don't match that description, either."

"What did Aleister come up with?"

Rob looked Hyoga straight in the eye. "You really don't want to know."

She shivered in fear, then recovered. "I wonder whether that's why I fought so hard against being activated."

"Could be. I think we need some expert help here. I'll call Washuu-chan... no, I'll text Skuld-sama and ask her to ask Belldandy-sama."



8:44 pm


"Belldandy's reply was, and I quote, 'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to tell you'."

"That sucks, Mikoto Kokono mutters in annoyance."

"I'll say. Why couldn't I have a body like everybody else's?"

"Do you want me to ask Washuu-chan whether she can do anything?" Rob's phone pinged. Looking at the display, he said, "Or maybe Belldandy can help, if you want."

Hyoga thought for a long moment. "I don't know."



November 22, 2016
7:41 am


"Do we get to go to school any time soon, Misaka Mimi asks with curiosity between spoonfuls of cereal. Everybody else gets to go."

"I'm stuck here, too," Chibi-Usa replied while reaching for the milk.

"Be glad you don't have to waste time in boring classes, kid."

Rob looked up from his bacon-and-eggs. "The school board won't take you until the beginning of the next term, which starts after Christmas, although we'll get your placement tests in before that. Be patient for a month. And do you want to attend classes, Accelerator? I can ask for them to give you a placement test at the same time the Misaka Sisters and Chibi-Usa take theirs."

"May as well. What about the meganekko with the big -?"

"I have a name," Hyoga interrupted. "Please use it."

"Fine. What about Kazakiri?"

"I'm taking a high-school-equivalency diploma exam later today."

"Maybe I should do that."

Rob nodded. "I thought you might want to, so I made arrangements for a possibility of two people taking the test, just in case. I'll let them know you are able to attend after all. Here's your student ID card."

Accelerator read it. "'Axel A. Rayder?' This is bullshit."

"Then tell us your real name."

"I guess this works."

There was a moment of relative quiet as everyone ate, which Mamoru broke by asking "Do you need any help around the building today, Rob?"

"Ordinarily, I'd say yes, but you have something more important to do today."

"I do?"

"Take a look out the back door. Somebody at one of the other buildings was granted a wish yesterday, and it was worded broadly enough for the megami to do you and Mii-san a favour while they were granting it. You need to go visit the license bureau, and I need to go buy some winter covers for your vehicles - maybe a prefab carport." As Mamoru bolted for the door, Rob turned to the others. "You should check your own rooms while you're at it. You just might have some personal belongings in your dresser drawers that weren't there yesterday."

Just then, a very loud squeal of delight came from Mikoto's apartment, followed by "My collection of Gekota toys!!!"

Rob smiled and continued. "Maybe you should go look now."

"It can wait, Misaka Rei announces, deciding to be polite and finish breakfast first."



8:33 am


"I'm sorry to disturb you so early in the day, Washuu-chan."

"What do you need?"

"What makes you think -?"

"You're only this apologetic when you want something, Rob."

"We need a gun vault that the local police won't be able to find. It seems that Belldandy granted a wide-area wish last night, and as a side-effect the Misaka sisters have their fully-automatic rifles again."

"That explains the gun vault, but not the undetectable part."

"Private ownership of fully-automatic weapons is illegal in Canada."

"Ill be there in three minutes."



3:21 pm


"Congratulations, Hyoga! Congratulations, 'Axel'!"

"They marked our exams very quickly."

"Why wouldn't they? They had a very advanced computer marking the tests."

Chibi-Usa looked up at Rob. "You didn't...?"

Rob shook his head. "All I asked HAL to do was make sure the tests were graded accurately. It's the province's standards that are lax." He turned to Hyoga and Accelerator. "Now that you have your high school diplomas, there's no way I can apply for fosterage money for either of you. I can carry you for a couple of months, but you'll need something to bring in an income soon, whether it's a university scholarship or a job. Time to think about what you want to do with your lives."



7:16 pm


The five of them walked into the RA Centre's Gun Club, drawing attention immediately - and not just because the Misaka sisters had all chosen to wear their school uniforms. "Hello, we're the Donaldson/Misaka family."

An instructor walked over. "Ah, you're the new members! Welcome to the club. Please, call me John."

"Pleased to meet you, John," Rob said as they shook hands. "I'm going to be honest with you: the only reason I'm here is because I'm the girls' legal guardian."

"We can work with that. How much do you know about guns?"

"I know enough to always treat them as if they're loaded, and to not point them at anything I don't intend to shoot, and that's about it. The girls know much more."

"Those are two good baselines to start with. Let's get you a rifle and see how well you can handle it." Ten minutes later, Rob had gone through a dozen rounds and managed to put one in the outer ring of the target. John said, "I've seen worse first tries."

"I really don't have the eyesight for shooting. Keep the glasses on and the sight path's distorted; take them off and I can't make out the rings."

"Sight path? Oh, yes, I think I know what you're saying. Who wants to go next?"

Three minutes later, Niiko had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.

Three minutes after that, Kokono had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.

Three minutes after that, Rei had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.

The range official called a stop to shooting, then walked over. "Are we sure that isn't the same girl trying out over and over again?"

"I think they're different girls," answered John. "But I'm not sure. Clear four lanes for them; I want to see them all shoot at the same time."

Four minutes later, the girls had given their targets "five rounds rapid", shooting out a identical × on each bulls-eye.

"What the hell..." John was flabbergasted.

Rob quietly walked over to Niiko, who was using the outermost lane. "Girls, if you don't stop freaking the mundanes right now, then I won't pay your range fees."

It took them less than two minutes to shoot different patterns of three shots into different parts of their targets.

"Much better." Rob turned to John. "They had the same teacher and took the same classes."

"Even so, they shouldn't be that much alike!"

"Are they in?"

"Yes! I want to learn how they did that!"






To be continued...





Next time:

After he hung up, Rob thought, 'Of course Sebastian has a list of housekeeper candidates. So much for getting Lord Phantomhive to slip Mamoru some money as a live-in handyman; he'll have to find work elsewhere. Or I can pay him out of my own pocket, if he'll let me.'
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
RE: [IC][Story][Arc 1] They go to the land of the ice and snow
#3
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 23, 2016
11:12 am


"Nice work."

Mamoru put down the hammer he was holding and looked at the gutters he had just installed on the new prefab carport. "Thanks. It's too bad I have to keep my car in here over the winter."

"Trust me, you really don't want to drive a convertible in the winter in Ottawa."

"Oh, I agree; I don't want frostbite on my face, either. It's just that I just got my car back..."

"And Mii-san just got her bike back, too. At least you can drive my car when I'm not using it."

"You drive an automatic with left-hand drive. Why did we install a bucket at the end of the downspout? We have city water."

"The city water's fluoridated. Rain water and snow meltwater is better for the plants out in front of the building."

"We don't have any plants out in front of the building."

Rob smiled. "Not yet, but I'm sure Mako-chan will want to plant some flowers come spring time. Now, let's rig an overhang to cover my car over the winter, and then we can get an electrician in to install some more floodlights to keep unwanted visitors away from our cars."



1:01 pm


Rob had wondered whether he could put Mamoru on the building's payroll. He could use the money, and Rob could use help with the maintenance work. He figured calling the higher-ups was worth a shot.

"Look, you've got me acting as a corporate official and a building manager. ... Yes, I know you hired me because I had experience in both fields. ... You're damned right that it's a Hell of a job. I need some help with it. I need either an administrative assistant, a housekeeper, or a handyman. ... Or I'll hire one on my own and pay him out of the corporate funds. ... Yes, I can do that. Section 19, paragraph 3. ... Fine. Email me the list."

After he hung up, Rob thought, 'Of course Sebastian has a list of housekeeper candidates. So much for getting Lord Phantomhive to slip Mamoru some money as a live-in handyman; he'll have to find work elsewhere. Or I can pay him out of my own pocket, if he'll let me.'



1:33 pm


Rob thought that he should have asked for an administrative assistant and a housekeeper. None of the people on the list were going to be able to help with the paperwork. He realized that he'd made a Hell of a choice in who to ask for.

There were three names on the list that Sebastian had forwarded to Rob. He recognized all three.

As much as he thought Taeko Minazuki might be a good choice, he realized that if Taeko moved to Ottawa, the rest of the major characters from Ai Yori Aoshi would follow sooner or later. Where would he put them? Better to let her and them go elsewhere, maybe San Antonio or Venice. They'd probably like Venice. Besides, it was Taeko - the one character from that story that Rob could see himself falling in love with ... and he already had two smart and lovely ladies filling that role in his life.

And it would be an even worse idea to hire Mahoro Ando - at least, not until Washuu-chan could extend her lifespan and she could engage in combat without worrying whether it would kill her. The building was still being attacked by the Host on an irregular basis; they didn't need Management to attack them as well. And where would he put Suguru and his classmates?

And when did he start thinking of the household as a paramilitary force? That was the opposite of what he had wanted a month ago.

The third name ... Yeah. It's a Hell of a choice that Sebastian was giving him. Then Rob realized he might be able to use that choice to his own advantage.



5:14 pm


"Mr. Donaldson, could I see you for a moment, please?"

"Of course, Ms. Konori." Rob walked into Mii's apartment, and she closed the door behind him ... then stood on tiptoe and kissed him.

Once his tongue was available again, Rob asked, "What's that for? Not that I'm complaining."

"That's for setting up a place for me to keep my bike over the winter. Thank you."

"Mamoru helped."

"I'm not giving him a kiss. You might get jealous. Usagi almost definitely would."

"I choose to remain silent on that matter. Now," Rob drew Mii into a hug, "is there anything else, Ms. Konori?"

"I could use your help with these..." Mii reached for her blouse's buttons and smiled.

Rob sighed. "Not yet."

She mock-pouted, then grinned and took a step back, out of his embrace. "Then I suppose that's all."

"I'll be on my way, then." Rob turned and opened the door, to discover Ruiko and Makoto waiting in the hallway, grinning. "What, are we that obvious?"

"I don't think Kazari, Mikoto, Mimi, Chibi-Usa, Diana, or either of the Reis have noticed yet," Ruiko replied.

"Actually, I had noticed, Misaka Rei interjects from down the hallway. It's Misaka Kokono who hasn't noticed, Misaka Rei adds."

Rob looked over his shoulder at Mii. "Should we tell everyone?"

Mii shrugged her shoulders. "The two of us can't make that decision."



6:51 pm


As everyone was about to leave the dinner table, Ami said, "We have an announcement."

Two minutes later, Usagi and Kazari had Ami and Mii in a group hug; Kuroko was rolling her eyes at Mikoto's puzzled expression; Mimi, Diana, and Chibi-Usa were grinning; Ruiko and Minako were talking about bridesmaid's dresses; Luna and the Misaka sisters were wondering which universe the happy trio would be calling home once the time came to leave; Makoto was thinking about wedding cake recipes with a dreamy look on her face; Mamoru and Artemis (in human form) were smiling as they cleared the dishes from the table; Accelerator wasn't interested at all... and Rei Hino was scowling.

The first chance she had, Rei grabbed Rob's arm and walked him out to the corridor. "Why?"

"What?"

"Not what, why? Why do you get to be open about your love now and I have to wait?"

"You have to... Is that what Ben told you during the Halloween party?"

"Yes!" she hissed.

"You're sure? That doesn't sound like Ben to me at all."

"I'm sure... No, I'm not sure." The fire in Rei's eyes dimmed, but didn't completely disappear. "He told me about love, and appearances, and ..." She trailed off; the rest of what Ben had told her was none of Rob's business.

"Appearances. Of course. He's protecting you, and it sounds like he did a good job. Have you talked with whoever it is you love about this?" She shook her head. "Then you need to talk with them before any of you make any decisions. One thing that I'll tell you, and I'm sure it's the same thing that Ami and Mii are telling everyone else right now: We don't want word of this to leave the building yet. Polyamoury is still rare enough that it would put both of my loves' careers at risk if anyone found out before they have professional reputations of their own, although I'm sure they aren't mentioning that to anyone in our common room."

"But... that's... Why should anyone else care what your personal life is like? You're not..." She trailed off again.

"Don't ask me. Other people's love lives don't affect me, and ours doesn't affect anyone else, and the three of us are facing our futures together with love and mutual respect and clear and informed consent from all three of us. That should be enough. But it isn't, not according to the law."

"The law is... the law is..." Rei fumed while trying to figure out how to finish her sentence.

Rob finished it for her. "The law is an ass." At her shocked look at his vulgarity, he continued, "George Chapman, 'Revenge for Honour', 1654. If you want to change the law, you could run for office once you're 18."

"No, thank you," she replied coldly.

"Or you could help Usagi run for office, and advise her once she's elected."

"Isn't she going to become Neo-Queen Serenity anyway?"

"If I recall the canon backstory correctly, she'll be elected to the position after she saves the world from a disaster of some sort. She could use the experience of running for office in a few years, and I can't think of anyone better suited to help her than you. Oh! Is she...?"

"Yes."

"Then I'd best let you go talk with her. And I think that I have to make it clear to a few people that Ami and Mii and I aren't getting married just yet, nor are the three of us about to share an apartment."

"You're not going to live together? Why not?"

"We're not going to live together yet. Because the law is an ass. Legally, I shouldn't even be interested in them until they're 18. And legally, I'm still Mii and Ami's foster father."

"We have to do something about that."

"There are plans ready to go as soon as it becomes possible for us to be open about our relationship. Until then, we continue the way we are."

Rei sighed. "I never would have guessed you were the type to only pay lip service to laws that you didn't like."

"We're already ignoring some laws. Those automatic rifles that the Misaka sisters own are illegal in this country, but I'm not going to tell the girls to surrender them. But before you start comparing me to some Diet members that I suspect you've been introduced to back in your home universe, I'll point out that I'm ignoring laws that are detrimental to other people, not to myself."

Rei frowned. "Can I tell you about something called the slippery slope?"

"Can you trust that I have three times as much life experience as you, and know all about the slippery slope? I'm not happy about being a lawbreaker, but I'm not about to risk your lives or Ami's and Mii's happiness. And I'd appreciate it if you keep telling me when you think I'm making a bad moral or ethical call."

"Why me?" she asked, surprised.

"Because I trust you to not want to spare my feelings when you call me out."

Rob's phone pinged, then pinged twice again in rapid succession. Even before looking, he knew what the texts would say. As he reached for his phone, he wondered who didn't keep the secret. "Excuse me."

"Congratulations! -Tenchi"
"You'd better treat them well, or you'll feel my hammer! Be happy. -Skuld"
"What took you so long? -Washuu"

He showed the phone to Rei. "So much for keeping things secret."



Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 24, 2016
4:42 pm


"Now that I have you alone: How long have you been dating Konori-sempai, Donaldson-san?"

"About a month now, Kuroko. She told me her feelings the night that she was attacked by the Host."

Kuroko relaxed slightly. "That was a hectic time for everyone. No doubt you simply forgot to tell us at the time, being more concerned with whether Mii-sempai would survive." Rob knew better than to disagree; he simply nodded. "As for the matter of hiring someone to help here, I don't understand why you want me involved in the process, Rob-san."

"Because Mikoto's busy. If this is who I think it is, you'll understand as soon as she walks through the door."

The office door opened, and a Japanese girl who looked to be about Usagi's age walked in. She was wearing a blue dress with an apron and a maid's cap, and her short hair was pulled back from her face. "Hello, the Funtom Placement Agency sent me about the maid position that you contacted them ab... Shirai!?"

"Maika?"

"You're hired." Both girls looked at Rob; he turned to Kuroko. "Is there some reason why I shouldn't hire Miss Tsuchimikado?"

"Her brother ..." Kuroko started, then stopped.

"Yes, we know her brother is a spy for Necessarius." Maika gasped in surprise. Rob ignored her. "I'd rather Necessarius has somebody inside sending reports back than have them attack us because they don't know what's going on here, which means they need an information conduit out of our building." Rob turned to Maika and smiled. "Also, I've been assured that you actually are a competent maid."

"I'm a maid in training, actually," she replied somewhat unsteadily.

"Good enough for this building. Your room is downstairs - immediately beside Accelerator's."

"Eek!"

Rob's smile became a grin. "Still want the job?"

"I don't have much choice, do I, mister ...?"

"Rob Donaldson. And we're not asking you to become a double agent. As I already said, I'd rather that Necessarius knows what's going on here than have them guess incorrectly."

Maika thought for a brief moment. "That makes sense. What do you get out of this, besides your housekeeping done?"

"Well, as long as you're asking, are you able to contact Necessarius now? On second thought, don't answer that. When you are able to contact Necessarius, I want you to ask them to help us find two people that I expect they want to find anyway."

"Who would these people be?"

"Index Librorum Prohibitorum and Kamijo Touma."

"Oh." Kuroko groused. "Him."

Rob turned to Kuroko. "You know how she feels about him, even if she isn't willing to admit it to herself."

"Does he return her feelings?"

"Does she return yours?"

"I ..." Kuroko wouldn't continue.

"Then it doesn't matter." Rob turned back to Maika. "I apologize for the digression, Miss Tsuchimikado. If you accept the position here, your duties will involve house cleaning, laundry, memorizing the Wikipedia pages about Academy City and Necessarius - Kuroko will give you the URLs - and whatever Necessarius wants you to do that doesn't put anyone here at risk. Remuneration, at least from us, will begin at $600 per week plus room and board. We will review the contract after three months to determine whether this will become a permanent position."

She thought for a long moment. "I accept."

Rob extended his hand. "Thank you, Maika." They shook on the deal. "And if your brother shows up... well, try not to disturb Accelerator."



5:16 pm


"I thought that I was the main chef here. Why hire a maid?"

Rob chose his words carefully. "She isn't here to do the cooking, Mako-chan. She's here primarily to do the laundry and general housekeeping. If you or whoever is on cooking duty needs help in the kitchen, you'll need to ask Maika whether she wants to help. Besides, I thought you wanted to be a pastry chef, not a restaurant chef."

Makoto calmed down. "I still haven't made up my mind whether I want to be a pastry chef or a flower shop owner, but I'm leaning toward being a chef." She thought for a moment. "All right, as long as I get to say who does or doesn't touch my kitchen gear, I don't have a problem with her being here."

"I won't hold you to that, Makoto."

She was suspicious again. "Why not?"

"Because she's also a spy for a group that has an uncomfortable relationship with Academy City."

"When did you know that?"

"Since before you showed up in this universe."

"And you hired her anyway?"

"Of course. This way, we have some control over what Necessarius learns about us - Necessarius is the group she works for - and we get our cleaning done, too."

Makoto's eyes narrowed. "That's awfully manipulative of you."

"She wants to be a maid. As for manipulative, espionage and counter-espionage is rarely free of manipulation. If Usagi is going to become Neo-Queen Serenity and you're going to become one of her advisors, you'll need to come to terms with that."

"Maybe. I still don't like it."

"Besides, this is nothing compared to how government intelligence agencies act, if the declassified reports are anything to go by. She knows that we know who she works for, we know that she knows, and we let her in anyway. If she's at all intelligent, she'll be expecting us to give her a mix of truth and misinformation to send back to her superiors."

"That's true," Maiko replied from just inside the kitchen doorway, the door closing behind her. "Who else is going to know who I really am?"

"Everyone who's read the Wikipedia articles that I said you have to memorize. What can we do for you, Ms. Tsuchimikado?"

"Please just call me Maika while I'm working. I'm here to familiarize myself with the kitchen, so that I can keep it clean. I was told Kino-dono was here?"

"I'm Makoto. I'll show you my kitchen now, so please pay attention to what I say I don't want you to touch. ..."

As Makoto started the tour, Rob quickly got out of the girls' way. He still had to tell Mikoto and Usagi about Maiko, and that conversation was going to take some finesse.

And since when was the common room's kitchen Makoto's property?





To be continued...? Or not...?
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
RE: [IC][Story][Arc 1] They go to the land of the ice and snow
#4
One more scene, then I'm done.



Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 25, 2016
10:06 am


"Maika, would you ... Maika? MAIKA!"

Rob's shout shocked the newly-hired maid out of her daze, just before she was about to walk into the air at the top of the stairs. "Oh! I ... Thank you, Mr. Donaldson."

"Put that laundry down before you hurt yourself." As she did, Rob continued "The rest of the laundry can wait. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing that will keep me from doing my work."

"That 'nothing' almost caused you to break your neck. That's a workplace health and safety issue. What's wrong?"

Maika started crying. "I'm... I'm a fictional character!"

"You've been reading your Wikipedia page."

"My Wikia page, actually. Do you know what it's like to have your entire life summed up in one screen of text for everybody to read? You don't! You're not a fictional character!"

Rob winced, then grabbed both of Maika's shoulders. "Snap out of it!"

"I'm not hysterical! I'm angry!"

"Then calm down. Reacting this way won't help you."

"Who are you to say what will and won't help?"

"Your boss."

"Oh." She deflated slightly. "That's right."

"Is it safe to let go of you now?"

"... Yes."

He did so. "Then let's break for coffee, or tea, or something, and we can talk about the nature of reality."

Seven minutes later, they were in the common room, sharing a pot of Earl Grey. They'd almost made a ceremony out of the brewing and serving.

"To answer your question, you're right. I don't know what it's like to be considered to be a fictional character. But I do know what it's like to be famous in certain circles, which is similar; I used to have a reputation in some fan communities."

"What were you a fan of?"

"Let's not go there."

"Japanese cartoons."

"Yes, for their technical merits. Let's not go there."

"Are you still-?"

"No."

"So, you've redefined yourself?"

Not really, Rob thought but didn't say. "You can redefine yourself, too, even if you remain a maid."

"How do we do that?"

"First, we look at what makes up you as you are now, then you throw away some things and build on others. One example: You're not really Tsuchimikado's sister, right?" Maika nodded. "But you feel something for him, right?" She nodded again. "Then, if we find him, we don't treat the two of you as brother and sister."

"What?"

"Wouldn't you rather have a more accurate description of your relationship?"

She thought for a moment. "You're saying I should marry him."

"I was thinking more a common-law relationship, but if that's what the two of you want... Oh, right - you're a practicing Christian, aren't you? Never mind the common-law bit. I suppose I was saying that, after all."

"Why?"

"It would bring your relationship out into the open, and make both of you less the fictional characters described on that wiki and more your own people."

"It would, wouldn't it?" She sipped at her tea. "It can't be just my decision, of course."

"Of course. And now that you've read your own Wikia entry, you can start thinking about what else to emphasize in your life that isn't listed there."

"That's true. I'll do that, after work tonight." She put her teacup down and picked up one of the sweets that Rob had served with it. "Hey, this isn't a macaroon!"

"Some people are allergic to coconut, and I didn't want to take the risk that you might be one of them. That's a cornflake cluster."

Maika studied it for a moment. "Cornflakes and ganache?"

"In a three-to-four ratio, yes. The original recipe called for melted dark chocolate; I thought I'd try substituting a ganache with honey in it. What do you think?"

She popped in in her mouth and savoured it. "It's ... decadent."

Rob smiled. "Good. Now, finish up and get back to work; leave the anger and the decadence for after supper tonight."
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown


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