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[OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals
RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals
(10-28-2019, 03:37 PM)Labster Wrote: I am actually done here.

The only thing things I can see that need done are:
  • "Chibiusa" vs. "Chibi-Usa" and "Sosuke" v. "Sousuke" (has the fandom standardized on either?)
  • Chapter 4 is a bit thin compared to Chapter 3, not sure if any remaining content can move down
  • The Osaka/Kazari scene now needs to be moved below the Osaka/Claw scene to make sense -- not sure if it can be inserted into Chapter 4, or just later into Chapter 3.
  • The first time a character appears, or does something significant, their whole name should be mentioned.  I mean, we have three Reis in this story.  I can't find "Hakubi", "Frye", "Li", "Glory", "Melissa" (reverse case?), "Washburne" and "Hoban" (only nickname), "Ibuki" (I seriously thought she was the cat for a while), "Ferrari", or "Mizuno".
  • Of course, some of the line breaks should be turned into text transitions.
  • We still need a better title...
  • The fandom might or might not have standardized on names, but the wiki has - on the characters' writeup pages. EDIT: Sousuke, Chibi-Usa, and Ayeka.
  • It might be worthwhile to merge the two chapters.
  • Probably later in Chapter 3. But don't hold me to that.
  • "I mean, we have three Reis in this story." And two Sakuras.
  • One line break already has been turned into a text transition. But we need a few breaks to show time passes.
  • I'm no good at titles...
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown


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RE: [OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals - by robkelk - 10-28-2019, 05:53 PM

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