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New Teaser For Chapter 1
New Teaser For Chapter 1
#1
Just to inaugurate the new forum.
-- Bob
"In this time and place," Verdandi said quietly, "we are chargedto answer to Another.""Office politics, huh?" I sneered. "Must be a major comeuppancefor you three. Took a big fall, did you?"There was a swish of wind, and my reflexes took over. A momentlater, I found myself holding the shaft of something that lookedlike a croquet mallet by way of Star Trek. Its head was merecentimeters from mine, and Skuld throttled its handle in a double-fisted deathgrip. "We didn't *Fall*!" she shouted as she triedto free her weapon from my grasp. "No one Fell!"I inclined my head toward her as I looked at the other two."Discipline problem, eh?" Then a thought struck me. "Those twoyou sent out of the room. Do they know what kind of creaturesyou are? Or are they living in danger and ignorance?""Megumi's just visiting," Urd said off-handedly. "And Keiichi isBell's...""Keiichi is my love," whispered Verdandi.This shocked me so much I let go of the mallet, and Skuldpromptly nailed me in the foot with it.When I got done yelping and jumping around, I relieved the kidof her hammer and turned back to Verdandi. "Your *what*?""My love," she repeated, almost too softly for me to hear.I blinked at her, then shook my head. "You know, that's...that's..." I *was* going to say something like "pathetic", ormaybe "disgusting". We'd had quite enough of that stuff with theGreek gods, after all; with all the other damage that they do tothe world, deities should *not* play with human hearts. Plus,the relative power levels made it pretty damn likely that itwasn't exactly the most equitable of relationships. Poor guy.Talk about being pussy-whipped. But my danger sense chose thatmoment to smack me on the back of the head, and I realized thatinsulting a god-human relationship to the involved god's face wasprobably not the wisest course of action.Okay, now those who know me and the Warriors will say, "Hey, younever had a problem with Hexe dating men." Well, for all thatHexe is bossy, dominant, pushy *and* an avatar, she is also oneof the most *human* beings I have ever known. When I see herwith a guy, I don't see a monstrous, alien creature of immensepower manipulating some poor schlmazel for its own amusement. Isee a woman with a guy. Say what you will about her abrasive andoverbearing personality, Hexe is a woman first, and a deitysecond. And in my experience, that was *unique*. I had noreason to believe Verdandi's relationship with Keiichi Morisatowas anything but a sadistic and/or exploitative dalliance forher.Anyway, it was at that moment that a shriek erupted from theother side of the door to save me from my own mouth. "Belldandyis *WHO*?"I raised an eyebrow. "I take it she didn't know?"Urd smirked. "Nope," she said as Verdandi pursed her lips andSkuld's eyes grew large."DOES THAT MEAN..." came from the hallway, then Megumi's voicedropped to an outraged mumble."I think," I said, "that somebody's in trouble."The door burst open, and Megumi stormed back into the room,dragging her brother behind her. "Where's this Marllercharacter?" she roared, and all three goddesses jumped, then asone turned to look at her. "Turn *me* into a car, will she?Possess *my* body, will she? When I get my hands on her, she'llbe one dead..." She jabbed a finger at Urd. "You! How couldyou let me think that was just a *dream*, that it was myimagination? Do you *know* what it's done to my self-image?"She whirled on Skuld, who eeped. "And *you*, you're just as bad.You can't believe what it felt like to think I was crazy becauseof all the strange crap that goes on around here because of you!""Why aren't you yelling at Belldandy?" Urd muttered, but Megumievidently heard her.The mortal girl suddenly dropped completely out of rage and intoutter embarrassment. "I couldn't!" she replied, doing some odd,rhythmic twiddling thing with the tips of her forefingers."She's so nice, I'd just feel so *guilty* afterwards."I hazarded a glance at the divinity in question, who simplysmiled a beatific smile. Uh-huh.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Re: New Teaser For Chapter 1
#2
Y'know, for such a fun character to read about, Sangnoir can be a pretty bad bigot. First, looking down his nose at the Knight Sabers, and now this crappy attitude about Belldandy. Never mind that he's a guest in their home and giving them attitude. He needs a good smacking.
Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
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Re: New Teaser For Chapter 1
#3
It's early afternoon. Which means that, since I work nights, this is like staying up till 3 in the morning for me. Not a good idea. But DAMN it all, this is too good to pass up.
BTW - I'm going to have to ask if I can be on your pre-reader list Bob. I feel the need to contribute. How does one do that?
Anyway...
Quote:
There was a swish of wind, and my reflexes took over. A moment later, I found myself holding the shaft of something that looked like a croquet mallet by way of Star Trek. Its head was mere centimeters from mine, and Skuld throttled its handle in a double-fisted deathgrip. "We didn't *Fall*!" she shouted as she tried to free her weapon from my grasp. "No one Fell!"
In the In Nomine Anime Supplement, they suggested that Skuld would translate quite nicely as a young Malakim of Lightning. That's what the above exchange reminded me of. ^_^
More seriously, though, I want elaboration on this. It seems to me that the goddesses are still goddesses and not angels or demoted somehow. The above seems to indicate that they weren't pushed into their positions so much as co-opted by agreement. I'm not sure I'm getting across what I'm exactly intending to say here. It's almost like she's about to say, "We chose to do this. It wasn't forced on us!"
Quote:
When I got done yelping and jumping around, I relieved the kid of her hammer

Can he do that? I don't recall offhandedly anyone grabbing Skuld's hammer away from her. Then again, I don't think I've even seen anyone try to do it at all.
Quote:
Okay, now those who know me and the Warriors will say, "Hey, you never had a problem with Hexe dating men." Well, for all that Hexe is bossy, dominant, pushy *and* an avatar, she is also one of the most *human* beings I have ever known. When I see her with a guy, I don't see a monstrous, alien creature of immense power manipulating some poor schlmazel for its own amusement. I see a woman with a guy. Say what you will about her abrasive and
overbearing personality, Hexe is a woman first, and a deity
second. And in my experience, that was *unique*. I had no
reason to believe Verdandi's relationship with Keiichi Morisato
was anything but a sadistic and/or exploitative dalliance for
her.
I think this is one of those times when Doug starts out with the wrong idea. He doesn't have all the facts, and doesn't know Belldandy. Or he wouldn't be thinking along those lines. This is good, because once again, it inverts a typical self-insert paradigm that the insert character always has superior insight into the emotions of the canon characters. Once he gets to know her and figures things out, I imagine he'll change his tune. But not completely. Just a guess, but I see a good possibility that he'll still be worried about Belldandy's motivations, even if he knows she is sincere. More of a "Do you really know what you're letting yourself - and him - in for?"
Quote:
The door burst open, and Megumi stormed back into the room, dragging her brother behind her. "Where's this Marller character?" she roared, and all three goddesses jumped, then as one turned to look at her. "Turn *me* into a car, will she? Possess *my* body, will she? When I get my hands on her, she'll be one dead..." She jabbed a finger at Urd. "You! How could you let me think that was just a *dream*, that it was my imagination? Do you *know* what it's done to my self-image?" She whirled on Skuld, who eeped. "And *you*, you're just as bad. You can't believe what it felt like to think I was crazy because of all the strange crap that goes on around here because of you!"
I've been waiting in vain for something like this to happen in the actual series. ^_^
Don't get me wrong, I love Fujishima's stuff. But it's gotten kind of static of late. I think he needs to take some chances with the story. This is exactly the sort of thing I'd like him to do. And it's spot on in character. Well done!
Quote:
"Why aren't you yelling at Belldandy?" Urd muttered, but Megumi evidently heard her.
The mortal girl suddenly dropped completely out of rage and into utter embarrassment. "I couldn't!" she replied, doing some odd, rhythmic twiddling thing with the tips of her forefingers. "She's so nice, I'd just feel so *guilty* afterwards."
I hazarded a glance at the divinity in question, who simply
smiled a beatific smile. Uh-huh.
Belldandy, like Kasumi, is the mistress of Nice-fu. ^_^
Anyway. More detailed comments later perhaps. Man I need to get some sleep...
-Logan
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Legolas - Obviously an Elvish word meaning "Gatling Gun".
----------
Reply
Re: New Teaser For Chapter 1
#4
Quote:
There was a swish of wind, and my reflexes took over. A moment later, I found myself holding the shaft of something that looked like a croquet mallet by way of Star Trek. Its head was mere centimeters from mine, and Skuld throttled its handle in a double-fisted deathgrip. "We didn't *Fall*!" she shouted as she tried to free her weapon from my grasp. "No one Fell!"
*snip*
More seriously, though, I want elaboration on this. It seems to me that the goddesses are still goddesses and not angels or demoted somehow. The above seems to indicate that they weren't pushed into their positions so much as co-opted by agreement. I'm not sure I'm getting across what I'm exactly intending to say here. It's almost like she's about to say, "We chose to do this. It wasn't forced on us!"
I disagree. At least in part. I think she's interpreting 'fall' as something akin to Lucifer's Fall. Judging by the sheer anger here, I'm also going to guess that she knows someone who did, in fact, fall (Marler?) and is denying it quite heavily...-Z
----
If architects built buildings the way programmers write programms, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
-Z, Post-reader at Medium
----
If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
Reply
Re: New Teaser For Chapter 1
#5
Quote:
Y'know, for such a fun character to read about, Sangnoir can be a pretty bad bigot. First, looking down his nose at the Knight Sabers, and now this crappy attitude about Belldandy. Never mind that he's a guest in their home and giving them attitude. He needs a good smacking.
Well, this is a mix of factors, both story-level and meta-level.
Meta-level is simply, as has been noted many times elsewhere, I try not to let Doug fall into the standard insert behaviors. (Oh, he will do it from time to time, mainly because he's complex, and won't always react to different things the same way -- and that sometimes means acting like a "standard" SI. But most of the time he won't.) In any case, his base behavior on entering a universe will at least try to be an inversion of standard SI behavior -- and in this instance, that means hostility towards the goddesses and (heavens forbid!) being nasty to Belldandy. When was the last time you saw an insert do that? Besides, it's fun to write about a hero who has some pretty offensive traits and still tries to be and is a good guy despite them. (The problem is, some readers can't tell the difference between Doug's bigotry and a SI know-it-all. Which is pretty sad, when you think about it.)
Story-level, well, he's had a bad experience with the Three jerking him around in the BGC universe, and when you add that to his usual attitude about gods, he ends up carrying a bit of a grudge. (I may change that. I wrote this passage two or more years ago, and the plot of DW2 has diverged slightly from what I was planning at that point. The Three have not been quite as bad to him as I was originally planning, so I should probably reduce his anger level a bit.) I'll provide a bit of a spoiler and say that he does come around quickly enough. There are hints of that in his narration -- it should be pretty clear that he's recounting the events from some time much later, when he has a different point of view. For example:
Say what you will about her abrasive andoverbearing personality, Hexe is a woman first, and a deitysecond. And in my experience, that was *unique*. I had noreason to believe Verdandi's relationship with Keiichi Morisatowas anything but a sadistic and/or exploitative dalliance forher.
There is an implicit "But I know better now" there.
This probably isn't a spoiler to my perceptive readers, but Doug exits this Step having added the divine denizens of O!MG to the incredibly short list of gods he respects and admires. And his overall attitude towards Celestials changes more for the positive -- which you can actually see in the scene from DW-Eva when he discovers Rei is part-Celestial -- see the first Eva teaser thread over in "Future Steps." Also, it's not in the teaser material I've posted here, but in the dojo he establishes in the Eva world, the requisite scroll on the wall does not bear the standard characters "I-ro-ha", but instead five symbols: a lightning bolt, a hammer, a sword, a heart and a spindle.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Re: New Teaser For Chapter 1
#6
Quote:
BTW - I'm going to have to ask if I can be on your pre-reader list Bob. I feel the need to contribute. How does one do that?
You just did it. We'll talk in email, okay?
Quote:
In the In Nomine Anime Supplement, they suggested that Skuld would translate quite nicely as a young Malakim of Lightning. That's what the above exchange reminded me of.
Hie thee hence to the EPU website and read Gods Willing II: We'll Always Have Boston, for there is a delicious passage therein (there are actually many, but that's not important now), from which I will quote a single sentence:
Quote:
Frumpy old Jean, the archangel who managed the
Information Services group, disapproved of his employees cursing,
especially the younger ones - and Skuld was by far the youngest
employee in the Celestial Network Operations Center.
Quote:
Can he do that? I don't recall offhandedly anyone grabbing Skuld's hammer away from her. Then again, I don't think I've even seen anyone try to do it at all.
I think it's been pretty well demonstrated in the source material that the Goddesses are not incarnated in superhuman vessels. Skuld may be an above-average 12-year-old, but she's still a 12-year-old. And Doug is a superhuman, after all -- a very fast one.
Quote:
I think this is one of those times when Doug starts out with the wrong idea. He doesn't have all the facts, and doesn't know Belldandy. Or he wouldn't be thinking along those lines. This is good, because once again, it inverts a typical self-insert paradigm that the insert character always has superior insight into the emotions of the canon characters. Once he gets to know her and figures things out, I imagine he'll change his tune.
I've just addressed this in my previous response above.
Quote:
I've been waiting in vain for something like this to happen in the actual series. ^_^
Don't get me wrong, I love Fujishima's stuff. But it's gotten kind of static of late. I think he needs to take some chances with the story. This is exactly the sort of thing I'd like him to do. And it's spot on in character. Well done!
Thank you. And at the risk of even more spoilers, let me note that Megumi's new mad-on for Marrler causes... complications later in the story.
Quote:
Belldandy, like Kasumi, is the mistress of Nice-fu.
Precisely.
Quote:
Man I need to get some sleep...
Well, go get some, you silly person.
Thanks for your comments!

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
Re: New Teaser For Chapter 1
#7
Quote:
You just did it. We'll talk in email, okay?
Sure thing.
Quote:
Hie thee hence to the EPU website and read Gods Willing II: We'll Always Have Boston, for there is a delicious passage therein (there are actually many, but that's not important now), from which I will quote a single sentence:
Quote:
-------------------------------------------------------
Frumpy old Jean, the archangel who managed the Information Services group, disapproved of his employees cursing, especially the younger ones - and Skuld was by far the youngest employee in the Celestial Network Operations Center.
-------------------------------------------------------

O_O
Ha!! I knew I'd seen a reference to that somewhere else as well! That's wild.

-Logan
----------
Legolas - Obviously an Elvish word meaning "Gatling Gun".
----------
Reply
Re: New Teaser For Chapter 1
#8
Come to think of it, I probably didn't need to give you a link to the EPU site, did I? Well, there may have been someone here who hadn't learned of them yet...

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply


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