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Quote: I can only imagine what will happen if the two do manage to meet face to face.
That can be dealt with simply by having the "overself" thing apply to Him, too. Doug meets a version of God, somewhere down the line,
gets up in his face about Kami-sama's bullshit, and God curses a blue streak before saying, "Oh, that imbecile. That sadistic
imbecile." Then he gets Doug some drinks and settles in to bend Looney's ear about some of the other stupid or cruel things other versions of
Him have done over the millennia.
Probably not anything like what the authors have in mind, but it was fun to imagine.
-----
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
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Too true, BHBirr.
And I only recently figured out where your signature came from after having caught up on Girl Genius recently. ^_^
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Morgan raises a...very interesting point. I hadn't considered that angle at all, but it makes perfect sense. All part of the plan.
Unlike most folks here, though, it seems like I disagree about the cliffhanger. I liked it. I thought it was a great end to the chapter.
Now, okay, sure, some part of me was unhappy to see the chapter end there - but that, for me, was just the standard disappointment of reading any piece of incomplete fiction. The whole I want more factor, yeah?
But besides that...thing is, though...I wouldn't call it a really sadistic cliffhanger. It's not like there's any mystery what's gonna happen next, see? Because we know, we just know, that our boy Paradox is gonna be opening a metric ton of cosmic whoop-ass. Somehow.
In the meantime, he gets to have this utterly and completely cool moment.
And we know whatever happens next, it will be awesome.
I think that whole final sequence did an excellent job of leading up to that dramatic climax. Well done, guys.
See, I liked OMB. I found it an enjoyable piece of fanfiction, and very amusing. But I never had that sense of really rooting for Paradox as a character. I think what this chapter - and all the chapters leading to it - really did was sell the nature of his character really well.
I think that's what really impresses me here. It's not just Paradox; we've gotten to see facets of Doug we didn't in DWII. I dunno about Urd, necessarily, but Belldandy, Skuld and Mara have been spotlit really well too. Even Megumi and Keiichi...that whole scene with him refusing to leave Belldandy was just epic. I mean, that kind of thing is a consistent theme for his character in the canon material, but the execution - and the eminently suitable quote in the dialogue - was excellent execution.
This is very good, very solid characterisation.
-- Acyl
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Bob Schroeck Wrote:...and that means it's Friday.
Well, whaddaya know. There's Chapter Six.
Enjoy! And it's up on Usenet, in two parts.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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About freakin' time, since I posted it that evening.
(BTW, neither Chris nor I are ignoring the posts here. In my case, I just haven't spotted anythng that needed expansion, clarification or answering,
that's all. I will, however, repeat my thanks for all the kind words.)
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Which means that all our prognosticating is either right on, or so far out in left field Bob and Chris are laughing at our derailed trains of thought.
 ;D
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
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Quote: About freakin' time, since I posted it that evening.
That's actually pretty good turnaround time, considering rec.arts.anime.creative is a human-moderated newsgroup.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Point taken. Given that our own Jeanne Hedge is or was one of the mods, I should not speak ill of them or their response time.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Yuku ate my previous post, so imagine a complimentary post here. Chris vs. the legions of hell. Round One.
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Quote: blackaeronaut wrote:
EDIT: Oh, and while Doug may wind up trusting The Three in that universe, God himself has probably lost a metric but-ton of trust-points with Doug. I can
only imagine what will happen if the two do manage to meet face to face.
Coffee and Pastries with with Bruce ....
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...an offer to play skeeball...?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Quote: ...an offer to play skeeball...?
...followed by an Alanis Morissette concert?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Do I need to post a link to the thread with Kevin Smith's Evangelion now?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Nope. Just split the posts and move them into "Crossovers that should not be"
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
Murmur the Fallen
Unregistered
Penultimate Chapter?
10-14-2008, 11:33 PM
What really struck me about this chapter came from the concordance part, in which Mr. Angel noted that the confession scene was written by Mr. Bob. This was
really a masterful piece of character development for both of the leads. In fact, this was a very emotionally affecting chapter on the whole, filled with
insights and real emotion.
So I'd like everyone to know that I did indeed greatly enjoy this chapter very, very much. Remember: I liked it. Honest.
This chapter was an example of some things that are, frankly, a bit skewed about this step. You have two view point characters who are able to indulge in
cultural in-jokes and are quite similar, in that they are sarky warriors. They are of course very different (I won't get into how they are different), but
there's just enough superficial similarities to them that having the 'let's have a misunderstanding and fight then team up afterwards', as well
as their atagonism throughout this walk is a bit . . . what's anime trope call it? Writer on Board.
Further, and I've mentioned this before, having these two strong characters in the forefront has really pushed aside Keiichi, the star of OMG, to the far
background. He seemed to have, if I remember correctly, two lines of dialogue in this entire chapter. And certainly he hasn't done much, said much,
either had a revelation or revealed something in this entire walk. His sister has much more to do in this walk than he did.
(Bringing up Megumi, she never seemed to have any of the mental/existential problems attributed to her, but then that's the source material. Still,
where's her cheery, cheeky optimism?)
And the pace of the chapters written so far as a whole seems a bit strange. I know that I should be able to articulate this much better if I am to write about
it, but . . . Marller was a background threat in the preceding chapters, before attacking and then being handily defeated last chapter by the convenient
power-up item, and this chapter is the lull before the almighty apocalypse. If you were to chart this, the graph would slope sharply upward and then downward
rather than climb steadily up and then steeply if more gently down. (That's in reference to an writing exercise where we'd show how stories are
usually structured as a kind of inverse parabola).
Anyway, once again, love the chapter.
-murmur
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Doug meets God. God offers him a cigar and a date with a young Brooke Shields. Doug runs screaming into the night. [evil grin]
Murmur the Fallen
Unregistered
If God were Groucho
10-16-2008, 12:37 AM
Then that would be hilarious.
Well, if God were actually Rufus T. Firefly, then it would make even more sense.
-murmur
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It's amazing how close some people are to one or two isolated details, but so far away on everything else...
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Heh. Semi appropriate for what Doug's dealing with here-- http://community.livejour...read=243000193#t243000193 (ignore the
main posting, just look at the comment that URL should take you to).
I read this and get the mental image of Doug going. "TransHuman Operatives for the Neutralization of Gods? I *have* to join that, if only to be able to
put it on my business card..."
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Murmur's thread starter post about Keiichi reminded me about this.
Quote: This chapter was an example of some things that are, frankly, a bit skewed about this step. You have two view point characters who are able to indulge in
cultural in-jokes and are quite similar, in that they are sarky warriors. They are of course very different (I won't get into how they are different),
but there's just enough superficial similarities to them that having the 'let's have a misunderstanding and fight then team up afterwards',
as well as their atagonism throughout this walk is a bit . . . what's anime trope call it? Writer on Board.
Considering they are basicly both Author Avatars, I don't think that really applies.
Quote: Further, and I've mentioned this before, having these two strong characters in the forefront has really pushed aside Keiichi, the star of OMG, to the far
background.
Here's a mistake on Murmur's part, Keiichi may be the star of OMG, but he's not the star of OMB. Chris is. And Doug is obviously the Star of DW,
so having the story focus on the two of them is pretty much natural.
Quote: (Bringing up Megumi, she never seemed to have any of the mental/existential problems attributed to her, but then that's the source material. Still,
where's her cheery, cheeky optimism?)
Well, in story it's only been what, a couple of days since she found out that her brother's been dating a goddess, and thatMraller, the
demoness that has been tormenting her in her 'dreams' is real and actually did do all those things to her. She has a right to be pissed off at Mraller
and she hasn't had time to work through her feeling.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
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Probably months late to the party, but what the hell.
Let me add my voice to the chorus of "ARGH, Cliffhanger!", though knowing the way these stories can work, I can totally understand it.....and as a
writer that's deliberately left a story on a cliffhanger before when I *could* go the extra length and make it less so, I can't imagine there was not a
rather unwholesome sense of glee at the reactions anticipated. It makes good sense as a To Be Continued point, and you get the amusing reactions. Win-win.
*grin*
Quote: Morganni wrote:
Probably going to have a few more comments after this chapter has finished percolating, but...
Quote: Some idle speculation: Why did the big dude upstairs reject the request this time?
Given Kami-sama's apparent style in this story, my guess is that having Doug and the goddesses do it accomplishes some side goal, so he rejected the
request specifically to get them to try it.
-Morgan.
This comment makes me think about the fact that everything about this situation seems.....odd. In fact, very set up.
A box of junk Skuld brings back from heaven "conveniently" has a weapon that reacts to massive rage reactions in Doug, most likely to be precipitated
by Mara's actions against him.
His favorite daughter who notably never leans on that favortism as much as she could is repeatedly transferred, stonewalled, and put on hold before eventually
being hung up on with a lightning bolt.
Mara is the first and only occasion of a Redemption being turned down. Ever.
Mara is a bizarre case in which her Fall has yet to spread entirely throughout her Overself, causing a significant fracture to her general structure.
Conjecture: her individual avatars have far more effect on her Overself than they should...
Mara is a stubborn, hot headed bitch by her own admission, with such character flaws keeping her from WANTING Redemption....until she has nothing left to lose.
Defending the Redemption has caused Chris to accept himself as he is for the first time ever.
This version of the BGU is notable for his rather twisted sense of humor.
....simply put, when one considers all the balls in the air, the entire thing reeks of setup....but I don't think the BGU would actually risk the goodwill
he'd lose by setting this sort of thing up if there weren't a payoff....that the God squad would agree with....
The fact that Doug, precipitator of the plot extraordinaire provided a very convenient nigh-executioner for Mara without causing the psychological scarring
doing such a thing to her would do to Chris....and who would be perfectly willing to do so anyway...
Yeah. The Discworld quote earlier in the chapters is coming to mind. And I see one Mr. Kami-sama smiling very, very widely....
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."
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