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Shegomania, Chapter 2 : Clear & Gothic Danger (season 1)
Shegomania, Chapter 2 : Clear & Gothic Danger (season 1)
#1
Wandblume cum Shego regarded her pile of amassed training regimes with a look of disdain. The program that came the closest to her needs was the gloriously Red-Starred Spetsnaz relic probably once owned by the biggest-biceps in the Party. She was especially fond of the ultra-low-altitude haystack jumping : those guys were nuts! After that it was no fun at all. Just a lot of ritualistic hazing & endless drill.
“Not. Fun. At. All!” She declared, poking the tower of training with her sinister middle digit. The pillar tottered just as the owner of the, not as precisely ordered as it had been, library entered. He carried a tray bearing a steaming mug of  Blue-Mountain coffee for his hard working partner in almost-not-crime, and his own coffee-filled laboratory canister.
Stricken by rapt horror, Van Loan watched a not inconsiderable portion of his Military History categorization collapse into a a chaotic drift of generals, battles and time periods.
My library! My Drakken Decimal System!” He would have dropped the tray and fallen to his knees in the proper display of dismay but for the fact that the coffee would have stained his first edition Vom Krieg.  
“Hey honey! Thanks, I needed that!” Wandblume grabbed a mug off the tray, a single droplet of expensive coffee barely missing the cover of the  priceless codex. “
Without even thinking about it, Van Loan, hardly even disturbing his  vessel of joe, swept up Carl from his ignominious sprawl.Then, mentally enumerating pi -- the urge to rampage, albeit ineffectually, didn’t pass until just past the fifteenth post decimal position-- Van Loan managed to regain as much composure as he ever possessed “...3288.” He concluded, under his breath.
“You’ve destr...researched the wrong section, Shego. Try Kingdom : Soft Science , Phylum : Psychology , Class: Mammalia ,  Order : Magnorder Primate , Family : H. Sapiens , Genus : Female , Species : Shego. “ He raised a booted foot ; nudged a bearing-mounted brass and wood library ladder in the direction of the, to his mind, straightforwardly defined section of his beloved, Brobdingnagian bulk of books.
Shego was too busy savouring her java to follow the obtuse instructions  right up to the moment that her mental ego-recognition software perked her up at the sound of her very own syllables. “I have my own section?” There was a complex arrangement of mild suspicion, ego-stroking, and delight all wrapped up that utterance.
Drakken took a sip of his brew. “Yup, right up there.” He gestured with the steel, ceramic-lined thermos bottle that was adorned with, ‘Danger : Superfluid!‘  “Top shelf, under the holo-bust of Freud.” She tossed off the remainder of her brew ; adroitly ascended the charmingly anachronistic vertical assist  device. Coffee-sipping Van Loan appreciated  the captivating  clockwork quaver of  the climbing costume-clad keister.  He called up, “ With that perfectly engineered gimbal-mount, I’m reclassifying you under Hard science!”
Almost atop the ladder, Wandblume’s brain processed the world’s most arcane appealing-ass assertion.  Her dry inner-voice whispered : ‘Gimbal : rotate, swivel, fulcrum. See ass.’  She put a smirk in her voice and an affected twitch in her rump as she reached ascension apogee. “One day I might even return the favour.”
***
The array of micro-cameras had been scientifically arranged according to what was known about the library’s owner. As a result, they were clustered exclusively within the Metaphysics niche that Drakken kept as a museum to those books that he hunted and culled-down to unique status. Each sole survivor was added to the section bearing the holo-bust of  Erich von Däniken.  It was a bizarre hobby ; possibly illegal, but  It had been classified by the surveillance team as,  'mostly harmless'.
“Oh, good reversal!” The beer can and pizza-box littered kitchenette featured a svelte blonde beauty whose figure surely wasn’t possible amidst all of the caloric wreckage. She made a hash mark in Shego’s favour on her wall tally labelled ‘Zingers’--there were more marks than wall-- as she watched a tiny, fish-eyed video-feed of a tiny Drakken shaking an equally tiny fist at a black and blue crescent distorted Shego at the extreme edge of the field of view.
“See if I’ll tell you where...” Van Loan’s petulant voice was cut-off by Wandblume’s smug, “Shegomania? Cute title, Doc!”
The blonde took a pull off of the can of Baka Biru at her elbow ; made another mark in her girl’s favour. “And Wandblume pulls ahead by two quips, but these two have always been neck-and-neck!” It was the voice of an experienced sportscaster.  She didn’t hear the imposing man enter behind her , and consider her with twin featureless silver discs where eyes should have been.
“Man, these things don’t fit well at all!” He took them out to reveal a a normal pair of cornflower blue eyes. “Hey, Togusa, how’re the master criminals?”
“Entertaining, as usual. He’s introduced her to something he’s written about her : some sort of collection of observations. Probably just bad poetry and pictures of her sleeping.”
“Probably. You know, Togusa, we’re probably the very first victims of Remote Stockholm Syndrome ever! When we’re...if we’re ever done I’m going to have you write a paper on it.”
***
The wall display showed the two surveillance officers laugh, not entirely heartily, at the thought of  their predicament. The woman, within the shadows of her egg-shell chair, was only visible as the thrust of a truly impressive bust and the flare of tips of lustrous brown mane.
“ Mikuru, did our bosses really arrange for potentially unstable individuals to formulate an inherently negatively charged secret operations squad as a bet?
The response from the other bosom that rose twin, impressive atolls out of the darkness of  the other egg chair was as dry as a martini.
“Mikuru, of course not. Why would they take accountability for our past misdeeds?”
“I hate being a minion!”
“Alpha minion, dear!”
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