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[Story][Season 0] Hollywood Machine
[Story][Season 0] Hollywood Machine
#1
Hollywood Machine - 09/Jul/2012
Arthur'd heard of something called 'colour therapy'.  If he could combine that with a health-boosting tan.  Maybe something with mirrors...  His mind kicked into overdrive, and he experimented with blending different sorts of handwavium, in a surplus paint mixing machine; 12,000 possible varieties!
Exhausted one night, from fruitless interviews and the latest failed handwavium blend ('paisley'), he plugged-in the microwave, nuked himself a pasty.  Then, he thought, plugged back in the extension for kettle and toaster.
In the morning he discovered it was the paint mixer and sun bed, somehow both using the same extension lead, that'd been on all night.  Two drums of blended handwavium had emptied, and the two machines combined, into something with too many angles, and a chrome finish.  The 'chrome' was explained by some distorting mirrors, ex-fairground, also incorporated.  And his multi-colour lamps.  He didn't like how his features reflected off the surface.  And, it hummed, even after unplugged from the mains...
Pushing it behind a partition, with items left by previous owners of the premises (ancient hair driers, even older production machinery), he cleared-up, or at least hid the problem.  Recent recruits had accents he could cut with a knife.  He thought the Job Centre was sending 'no hopers' his way.  Ms Jones required a positive progress report in two days, three at most.  How?
Mrs O'Hare, the teacher scared of pupils, had been giving Rod some free instruction, after hours.  Meant someone was in the premises, anyhow.  Ms Jones had been insisting Arthur take off at least two evenings a week, no matter how much work needed to be done.  He wasn't sure why, but it gave him a chance to relax, and seemed to blunt his gambling cravings.
Mrs O'Hare had been paid to talk into an experimental 'teaching machine' that Arthur'd waved-up.  From an old dicta-phone and a teleprinter.  But, he'd junked that two days ago, as it seemed to be going no where, and dumped it in the back.
Arthur woke in the night, knowing something was badly wrong.  He rushed downstairs to the workshop - sleeping above had cut his rent bill, and it was good for security.  As there'd once been a small factory on the back, the sound insulation wasn't bad, though ancient.  There were Mrs O'Hare, and Rod, slumped under old-style hair driers, no sign of the partitions, an immense machine looming behind them.
They quickly revived, and Mrs O'Hare seemed far less timid than she often was. Rod opening his mouth was the big surprise.  His stutter was totally gone, and he spoke with Mrs O'Hare perfect diction.  Mrs O'Hare strode across, picked up the exercise book, and thrust it at Rod.  Word perfect.
---

Rod said he was jumpy about leaving home the next couple of days, and while his stammer remained gone, his speech mostly returned to normal, but with a clearer accent.  Mrs O'Hare said they'd not seen the machine, just a couple of old hair driers, and she'd told Rod how she always used to feel relaxed under them.  Then things got strange.
Arthur experimented.  He found The Machine seemed to be able to fade into the background (camouflage?), though other times it loomed, shiny and disturbing. Two more drums of raw handwavium, that were, he thought, well separated, were empty, and an old roller conveyor system had been absorbed.  His electricity bills indicated the machine was somehow tapping the local power grid.
Ms Jones was not pleased.  Weeks of effort and all he had was a mysterious machine.  And no usable recruits.  Still, the accident with Mrs O'Hare was worth following-up.  Maureen, an interviewed 'no hoper', joined them, as a receptionist, and general dogs-body; she'd failed Ms Jones recruitment test for 'going up'.  Rod seemed to quite like her.
---

It took Arthur quite a while to untangle what happened.  Rod had told Maureen about his speech improvement.  Maureen, who appeared to be an amateur radio ham, had 'played' with the equipment, and been disappointed to find it did nothing for her.  Then, she persuaded Mrs O'Hare to do a hair drier teaching session.
The other thread had been Ms Jones deciding to do a late evening inspection; maybe that's why Arthur got evenings off?  And Ron coming in, because Maureen had said she'd see him later.  Ms Jones was standing horrified, just inside the door, looking at two slumped figures.  Ron threw open the door, and Ms Jones went onto the conveyor belt.
Into The Machine.
Frankenstein meets French Farce, thought Arthur.  All it needed was a Wardrobe and a Man With No Trousers.  And a bolt through his neck.
Ron couldn't stop the machine, or get anyone to respond; half an hour later teacher and pupil revived, and a transformed woman came out the far end.  Ron later said the machine almost held him hypnotised.
Only then did they phone Arthur.  He'd been having a quiet evening drink with his science fiction friends.  He was slowly conceding some of that stuff was quite a good read.
---

Ms Jones looked years younger, and when she opened her mouth her slightly crooked teeth were perfect and white.  Her diction was Mrs O'Hare at her best, and her limp was gone.  Even her skin was perfect, no blemishes at all, and her hair.  A crowning masterpiece.
She didn't even have bad breath.  Arthur leaned close enough to check.
Maureen was speaking far more clearly, but she was enthusiastic about the 'Full Treatment', that Ms Jones had got.  As Ms Jones was dazed, and Rod totally opposed, Arthur ruled they wait a few days, to check for ill effects.  And, he pressured Ms Jones to get a full medical check-up.
---

Making a swift recovery Ms Jones reluctantly explained that she had an artificial leg.  This was now a perfect fit, and similarly perfect were her teeth.  The doctors said she was in excellent health, and a minor skin complaint was gone.  She wasn't actually younger, just as well as she could be for her age.  Her smoking habit was gone.  A specialist clinic said she tested negative for biomod.
It appeared she could now hide her Glasgow accent, though she didn't seem to have any other new abilities - her writing and presentation skills were already excellent.  She did report temporary agrophobia.
A few previous interviewees were invited to return, and agreed to sign full non disclosure forms.  It appeared that the machine only worked if Mrs O'Hare, no one else, was wearing one hair dryer and someone was sitting in a second one.  Then the machine did its half hour treatment.  Arthur could have sworn a small smile appeared on Mrs O'Hare's face when this was revealed.
Maureen was the third volunteer, and afterwards looked radiant.  Rod was very disappointed when she made it clear she was 'going up'.  Without him.  Ms Jones fully recovered in three days and was her old self, though she now had perfect teeth, and no limp.  Her skin and hair returned to a smart but business-like look.
Arthur did more tests.  After a while the machine stopped working, and he found it needed feeding, with make-up, glamour magazines, and 'magic smoke' that it obtained by cooking integrated circuit boards to death.  He didn't think it was intelligent, but it seemed to have an large animal-like presence.
---

Arthur knew it would happen.  They insisted on taking away the (now named) 'Hollywood Machine'.  It was going up to O'Neill Station.  Mrs O'Hare was happy with her new permanent job.  A 'Kelly' arrived to supervise the move.  Arthur did his best to avoid her, and spoke at least one octave above his normal pitch, in her presence.  Apart from a few strange looks, he thought he got away with it.
What was next?  He'd had a strange dream before they took The Machine away.  He'd fallen onto the belt, and come out, with frothy pale lace on his shirt cuffs and collar, and a slick hair-do.  A Glam Metal Detective?  Was he still male?  He'd been unchanged, in the morning.
But, after all, they hadn't tested The Machine on Men, had they?

What The 'Hollywood Machine' Does
It does glamour.  You will get perfect skin, perfect teeth, perfect hair.  Without make-up.  From Mrs O'Hare you will get perfect speech, initially identical to hers, and her excellent writing and presentation skills.  The teeth remain 'fixed', but unless significant effort is taken, like a diet shift for the skin, and careful pampering for the hair, these will fade back to normal, over several days.  Your normal speech patterns will return, over a few days, but with a little effort there will be an overall improvement, which training can help with.
Side effects of the machine include it removing any mild visible health problems, at least in the short term.  It handles the physical side of alcohol and nicotine (or other drugs) addiction, for all but the worst cases - social or psychological factors may mean people keep on smoking, etc.  Prostheses, such as spectacles, hearing aids, and even artificial limbs will be (permanently) adjusted for ideal fit.  Clothes and footwear are also adjusted.
The machine is capable of three 'treatments' per day, each half an hour.  Mrs O'Hare must be in her seat, and someone who is still in need of her teaching in the other seat.  Obviously Mrs O'Hare cannot be treated.  Each treatment temporarily decreases Mrs O'Hare's agrophobia, and stage fright.
The effects of the machine can boost people's confidence.  The (mild) agrophobia fades over a few days.  The main problem is the machine is psychologically addictive (assume this problem effects 50%).  If used more often than once per three days the agrophobia gets worse, and if used at least once per day for a week it becomes permanent, at Mrs O'Hare's level.  For those with the addiction problem, one treatment per three weeks seems best.
If the machine is used on someone who is already a 'perfect beauty', and the equivalent of fully trained by Mrs O'Hare, it has no effect.  There is a flat 5% of people that the machine has no effect on, not matter how poor their initial state - they tend to end up mildly depressed.  There's no known way of characterising or detecting this 5% ahead of time.  For both 'perfect' and 'reject' it refuses even to start the treatment cycle.
The machine cannot alter your weight, just move it about a bit, and tone your muscles so you carry it better.  It cannot make hair or fingernails longer, just trim and polish (temporary hair or nail extensions might be used in the worst cases), though it can lighten body hair so it is near invisible.  The weight returns to its original position and the muscle tone fades to its previous state unless a regular exercise program is started.  The lightening remains for newly-grown body hair unless some quite violent skin treatments are used.  The machine has no effect on injuries, diseases or poisons (but, see drug addictions, above).
Note that the machine does not biomod people, and may be ineffective on those biomodded; it depends on the biomod.  Also note that it isn't clear what effect the machine has on men...
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind
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#2
META "Hollywood Machine"

Again, I'm not sure if this works...

This follows "Human Resources", and is followed by "Uncanny Valley".
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind
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#3
Intriguing... and an idea that has potential.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#4
Since it is the Hollywood Machine, and the word "glamour" appeared several times, I would suggest than you add a minor psychological quirk -people afected turn into minor drama queens, like the Senshi get more melodramatic when they don their uniforms.
Actually, since all that handwavium used has to go somewere and they do not get biomoded... the glamoured people can get surrounded by a minor "dramatic field" than affects not only then, but people around then. People who pay attention, or see it several times (like poor Arthur), discover than perfectly normal situations spontanouely turn into mobie scenes, with high school drama, heroic poses, romantinc proclamations, sudden gusts of wind lifting the coats or hair at the right moment, sparkles and glints from glasses, jewells and teeth, and so on. But random onlookers, and even the people affected, do not seem to notice anything strange.
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#5
Thanks.

I'm currently assuming that at least one young woman has Mrs O'Hare's agrophobia, in full, on a permanent basis. And, that this happened after they took The Machine away from Arthur. I'd like to think that Arthur would have prevented this from happening...

Mrs O'Hare seems an integral part of The Machine, at least in its 'glamour treatment' mode. Actually, she's the only person who can do the speech training, as well. Why? The waved 'teaching machine' which became part of things might be one reason. But, you might get some way by looking at Mrs O'Hare and asking 'why is someone who's a frustrated actress needed?'. If you're smart you might want to be really careful she never gets biomodded...

I'm pretty sure this gadget will be kept as secret as possible, but, given how it's used at least rumours are going to spread. Stories of them having a reliable beauty biomod process? The implication is that O'Neill Station will have good gym and other fitness facilities, as well as staff 'beauty industry' perks.

I suppose Mrs O'Hare would count as a 'Training Consultant', so it can be claimed that she isn't permanent staff.

Do you think Boskone would try raiding O'Neill Station, with an aim of acquiring The Machine? And, if they did (fail or succeed) then it would all be hushed-up?
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind
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Weird Stuff & Glamour
#6
Weird stuff occurs around the Hollywood Machine.  Only Mrs O'Hare is immune.  Then there's the Glamour.
People suddenly fall in love, or there are sudden break-ups - unrequited love is not uncommon.  These are not completely out-of-character, more the sort of thing hurried script writing might produce.  "Ms Jones, I didn't realise you were beautiful until you took off your glasses" level.  This is a low-grade handwavium effect emitted by The Machine, and those with strong wills or used to working with handwavium best resist it (Arthur and Ms Jones didn't fall for each other, for example).
Things occur which are to the benefit of The Machine, so that it continues to be fed and used.  And, grow bigger.  More suitable handwavium and raw materials will end up close enough to be incorporated.  Smart operators will do this voluntarily to avoid 'feeding binges' on the part of The Machine.  It will grow 5-15% per year.  If not terminally damaged then self-repair can occur in this way.  Weak-willed operators can become fascinated with The Machine...
The reason for the psychological addiction is actually more subtle.  After using The Machine some people gain enough self-confidence to generate their own glamour, but some don't, and need re-charges.  The Machine can't process people who have natural glamour, or who just can't be glamorous.  Even if the addicts don't get recharges their permanent effects (perfect teeth, etc.) remain.
This glamour means people almost always perceive them well, not as awkward, unless they're being awkward for humour.  Glamour makes them look good in person, via camera, and on recordings.  It is possible to loose or destroy the glamour, but this is really quite hard work.
Note that glamour isn't drama, though some people will be dramatic as part of their (personal) style, and being glamorous may make them think they can get away with it more often.  Glamour is related to charisma, though the two aren't identical.  Machine-provided glamour almost always boosts self-confidence, and (existential) angst can be quite difficult.
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind
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#7
Rakhasa Wrote:Since it is the Hollywood Machine, and the word "glamour" appeared several times, I would suggest than you add a minor psychological quirk -people afected turn into minor drama queens, like the Senshi get more melodramatic when they don their uniforms.
Actually, since all that handwavium used has to go somewere and they do not get biomoded... the glamoured people can get surrounded by a minor "dramatic field" than affects not only then, but people around then. People who pay attention, or see it several times (like poor Arthur), discover than perfectly normal situations spontanouely turn into mobie scenes, with high school drama, heroic poses, romantinc proclamations, sudden gusts of wind lifting the coats or hair at the right moment, sparkles and glints from glasses, jewells and teeth, and so on. But random onlookers, and even the people affected, do not seem to notice anything strange.
Hopefully the "Weird Stuff & Glamour" will do for this.  You'll gather that I'm treating glamour and drama as slightly different things - I wouldn't dare tread on the Senshi's toes! [grin]
Most of the handwavium has been consumed creating and maintaining The Machine, but it does get to mess around with its surroundings, a bit.  The Machine mostly runs on electricity and 'magic smoke' from IC chips. [grin]
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind
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#8
I want to make a Scientology joke, but I can't think of a good one.

And of course, there're always the people whom the fame gets too much for. Overuse leads to what has been variously termed Brando, Cruise or Sheen syndrome.... depending on the sufferer's symptoms.
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
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#9
Dartz Wrote:I want to make a Scientology joke, but I can't think of a good one.

And of course, there're always the people whom the fame gets too much for. Overuse leads to what has been variously termed Brando, Cruise or Sheen syndrome.... depending on the sufferer's symptoms.
I would claim that no e-meters have been harmed in the making of the Hollywood Machine. [grin]
Glamour - it can really mess you up...
(But, note the 'existential angst' exclusion clause. [grin] )
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind
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