(fic-snippet) Two bits with Rhett the accidental catboy (snippet & discovering the fen newsgroup hierarchy)

[LilFluff]

While I'm working on what I posted earlier I had a bit pop in my head and decided to get it written down. So here's a bit around a semester later with Rhett the accidental catboy. Utterly first draft and unedited.

Rhett was busy at his cluster of monitors when Jake leaned into the room.
"Darcey and Alice are christening the pizza oven, what would you like?"
Wireframe designs flickered across the six mismatching scavenged monitors for a few seconds before Rhett's chair leaned back, "Pizza?"
"Oven's ready, dough's being spread, time to decide on toppings."
"Cheese, more cheese, and no peppers."
"Your usual, got it. What's all this?"
"My new pet project." A small object suddenly was arcing through the air to James, in the sickly green of the cheap 3D printer filament they'd found. "I'm not making the same mistake again. This time there will be blueprints and manuals and all that."
"And all that?"
Rhett gave a short laugh, "Well, last time around I got in a hurry and just grabbed what I had on hand and well... You know how that worked. Save one really good result."
"Thank you," came Ema's voice from the speakers on the desktop. "I thought I'd need to be upset for a moment."
"Yes, you're definitely the really good result. But clearly that was more luck than planning. And well, look what that did to me."
"Well the girls like the result."
"At least Darcey and Alice will stop petting when I ask. And it's not just the girls, you know what a pain Greg's been."
Jake sighed and went back to examining the model. "Yeah, well he's banned from here and Dwayne's if he starts anything at another Fantastic. What about this? Looks like a flying saucer."
Rhett made a few clicks and a slide show started up on the rightmost screen. "That's exactly what it is. A one man, all electric, flying saucer in need of a good name."
"Split back seat? Oh, right, for your tail."
"Yep, five point harness too and any other safety features I can work out. I'll get some more eyes on it before I build it but I want to do as much as I can on my own first."
"This why you've been talking about learning to weld?"
"Yep. I shouldn't have any trouble with the electronics but it's not like I can go down to the local junkyard and ask if they have any '57 flying saucer bodies sitting around."
"True... oh great, what are you purring about now?"
"I just remembered, there were some built! Whatever happened to the Avrocars? To Google!" A few clicks later the purring stopped. "Ew, no, too big and that fan is where the cockpit should be! What were they thinking!"
"That they didn't have any 'wavium?"
"Bah! Poor excuse!"

And while I'm at it, over on LJ/DW I got bit by the demifiction bug. Resulting in one post that was newsgroup posts by Rhett of undecided canonicity. 

From: NotAButler_7
To: nntp://fen.support.biomods
Time: 13:55 MST (-0700)
Date: September 12, 2015
Subject: Hello out there

Hello out there, your friendly new Earthbound feline biomod here. I had no idea that newsgroups were still a thing or that there was a whole fen hierarchy.

The good news, apparently the local authorities are tired of playing hunt the biomod. The bad news, the paperwork. Oh lord the paperwork. I thought signing up for my first semester of classes involved a lot of paperwork but replacing my drivers license was what felt like a couple dozen pages of forms, hunting down my birth certificate, not yelling at a clerk who claimed there was no such form as the one I handed him, and an hour long meeting with the head of the DMV office in which I filled out yet more paperwork.

All that and I won't even get a drivers license since I'm to small to sit in the driver's seat of any of my friends cars and comfortably work the peddles with a seatbelt on. So just a non-driver's state ID card for me. At least I'm a little taller than the limit for Arizona's booster seat law. Sure it's got an age cut-off but needing to convince people I'm really nineteen is already getting old.

So any advice for a new catboy? Other than guarding my tail from the evil called the bus door, I've learned that one the hard way.

From: NotAButler_7To: nntp://fen.support.biomodsTime: 17:31 MST (-0700)Date: September 16, 2015Subject: Q for other fur-bearing biomods

How the bleep do you keep from getting heat rash when it's hot and humid out? The last two days have been bleeping hell. Summer is always bleeping hot in Arizona but this is insane. All I have to do is step outside and it feels like I'm wearing a lead coat and hat. In an oven. I was born here it shouldn't feel like this. If it's this bad here I'm never going to the south (right, like any sensible catboy would head into the land of dueling banjos. I barely trust that I won't get jumped by crazies here).


From: NotAButler_7To: nntp://fen.support.biomodsTime: 17:44 MST (-0700)Date: September 16, 2015Subject: RE: Q for other fur-bearing biomods

So uh, the bleeps. Apparently a friend who will remain nameless decided my newsreader needed a profanity filter. Assume that by bleep I meant, "Dear lord, it rained last night so now it's humid as a shower and 115 degrees out!" I like living in the desert. Well, I liked living in the desert. If someone warned me I was about to get modded I could have at least tried to get it to be a fennec mod. Surely they don't mind it. That much.

No. Nevermind. They're sensible and live on the night shift. Wish college was that sensible.


From: NotAButler_7To: nntp://fen.soc.biomodsTime: 22:36 MST (-0700)Date: October 31, 2015Subject: Halloween, okay this isn't too bad

I've lost count of how many times I've been complimented on my 'costume'. Only downside is they keep asking J-friend and D-friend how much their 'kid's' costume cost. Or if they know about the costumer's guild they ask them how long it took to make.

I probably could have brought in a good haul of free candy if I'd snuck out trick or treating. But that would have meant missing the local gathering's party which would have been very sucky. At [mumblemumble] House we've been having a grand time. Night unlimited snacks, friends, and B-Movies. We're watching Plan 9 as I write this. Not the worst film I've ever seen but it does have the worst Day For Night scenes I've ever seen.

Anyway, how's Halloween up among the Fen? Must be a fun time for the kinder since you can get away with much more up there than down here. That said, those 'costume' compliments? I think I might let D-friend talk me into one of the cosplay sig's group events. She'd been trying to talk me into a group play of the closing credit version of the characters from Black Cat but she's being so secret about it now I think she's found something else.


From: NotAButler_7To: nntp://fen.rocketscience.amateur
Time: 09:57 MST (-0700)Date: January 10, 2016Subject: Avoiding the FAA's wrath

So, assuming someone had started doodling designs yesterday for a small single seat flying contraption, are there are good howto documents explaining how to avoid bringing down the wrath of the FAA?

So far I've kept everything to paper and 3D modeling software (the learning curve, ow). If I ever get this thing built I'd like to be able to fly it without racking up federal charges and missing any future family reunions that aren't held in Oz. Maybe my Google-Fu will be better after some sleep but all I've been turning up page after page of rants about fen and their flying cars giving air traffic controllers heart attacks. Will they even grant experimental certification to amateur build spacecraft?

So, any M's anyone wants to suggest I RTF? Even if it is probably a pipe-dream to think I can get approval to legally possess and use wavium without a boatload of money for a decent workshop and brib^H^H^H^H processing fee money. But a cat can dream, right?

-----

Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.

[Dartz]

I'm surprised....The only one who seemed not to be bothered by the heat tis summer was the mutt. When everyone else was sweltering in the shade, he was laying in the sun soaking it up - black fur and everything.

-------

From: SkyBird
To: nntp://fen.rocketscience.amateur
Time: 11:57 MST (Mars Standard)
Date: January 10, 2016
Subject: RE: Avoiding the FAA's wrath

Handwaved cars are old hat these days.

The thing with FAA regulations is that they came about for a reason. Somebody did something, and that something got people killed. These rules exist for a reason; gravity is the most unforgiving son of a bitch there is.

The rules for experimental homebuilt and amateur aircraft are fairly relaxed (compared to what's normal for aviation). There're some hoops to jump through regarding specification and the like, but if you're actually building a craft rather than handwaving something already built it's relatively easy. You can use a car or motorcycle engine - there're no real limitations really beyond some workmanship/design/stress analysis requirements to make sure it's not going to fall apart in mid air and land on someone's house. Read up on them - they're publicly available. You're building something you're going to have to trust your life to here. Best do it to the standards that people have been trusting their lives too for a century, without the benefit of a handwaved safety net.

Jumping through these hoops makes life a hell of a lot easier. The good thing about them is that they make no real provision or exception for handwavium. If a handwaved part or material is clearly up to the job, and you can demonstrate that to an inspector - you're OK to go. It is, after all, an 'experimental' aircraft. (I think, technically, it doesn't even need to have wings...someone built and handwaved an AC Cobra Coupe kitcar as an experimental aircraft once.) If you're just building a single seater, take the time to do it right and you'll never have to worry about not being allowed anywhere again. Within reason. It's a big payoff, and you know you have something built right that you can trust your lives to, as does anyone coming along to buy it off you when you're looking for a trade-up. Also. If you can, invest in a PCAS system. It's expensive, but It's a lifesaver. Or, you can trust in your ability to see and avoid that old 747 in a hazy sky. That's a lot harder to do than you think. The open sky is a very crowded place.

You used to need a full Private Pilot's License - and some parts of the world still require one. If you go through the effort of getting one, congratulations, you can fly your homebuilt spaceship effectively anywhere. An instrument rating is also worth getting - it opens up a lot more airspace and weather conditions and teaches a few skills that're useful even in space. Going the full license route also gives you a few skills of airmanship that're handy in planets which tend to have things like weather. All these skills keep you alive.

If all these hoops seem too daunting, however, there is a quick route. For pilots, the FAA offers a transit competency cert - all you need to do is prove you know where you're not allowed go, are capable of avoiding other air traffic and sticking to dedicated orbital launch/landing corridors to dedicated aerospaceports and you're allowed launch and land from the ground. Just learn to read an airman's map, know what airspace you're not allowed in and how to talk to ATC to request landing or take-off, or report a problem. There are sections of airspace set aside for non-compliant craft such as fencars and the like. Stuff that's unregistered or flown by people who aren't effectively licensed. It was easier to just give them a lawful space to operate away from any other craft or civilisation on the ground, than try and police the entire sky. In these corridors, the rules are a lot more basic. You talk to Heuston, get your clearance and down you go to land (or up to space). You can do nothing else but take off and land, and because all these aerospaceports are pretty far away from civilisation you've got a long, ground-bound trek to get where you want to go. And there's customs and immigration to worry about. Airfare to other airports from these locations can be pricy, as can the bus service.

My recommendation however is, that if you're considering that route, stick to a starline or airline instead after you've initially launched your ship. It works out a lot more convenient because most airlines go to the major cities. (If you're being cynical.... that might be the real reason)

You can ignore all these FAA regulations if you want - and you might get away with it for a time because the sky is just far too big to police. (Unless you're like that power armoured idiot from Europe a few years back who managed to annoy the authorities into action) Just remember that the ultimate penalty for doing so is, quite often, death. Either yours, or whomever your wreckage lands on. And if you managed to survive that accident you just caused, you may wish you didn't. If you kill somebody because you weren't following the rules, several large books will be thrown at you in court and most people will be glad they were.

Once you're Up, basic Convention Law gives everyone the right to mobility in open space. Basically, you're allowed fly your own spaceship without license or qualification so long as it belongs to you. It can be a leaking, rustbucket of a thing but if it's yours and you're willing to risk flying in it, happy days. If someone gets killed as a result of you fucking up, then it's on your head. Money. Prison time. It all comes out of your arse. Idiocy in an aerospace is usually a self-correcting problem. Unfortunately, the process tends to take out a few innocents aswell so there are now Rules up here too. Some stations take gleeful joy in banning idiots from their Space..... and will enforce that with fines and liens against the Spacecraft owner, which the Space Patrol will enforce. (There're some settlements with quite a line in seized spacecraft, and arguably some that're imposing overly-onerous regulations just to rack-up fines and seizures, ***cough*Island One *cough***)

At the same time, if you fuck it up, you're often on your own. Space is big and empty and a very lonely place when you're looking at an empty fuel gauge, two hours from anywhere that can bring help and with just an hour left in your oxygen tank.

-Happy Flying
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?

[robkelk]

From: big-brain@stellvia.fen
To: nntp://fen.soc.biomods
Time: 22:38 MST (-0700)
Date: October 31, 2015
Subject: RE: Halloween, okay this isn't too bad

> Anyway, how's Halloween up among the Fen? Must be a fun time for the kinder since you can get away with much more up there than down here. That said, those 'costume' compliments? I think I might let D-friend talk me into one of the cosplay sig's group events. She'd been trying to talk me into a group play of the closing credit version of the characters from Black Cat but she's being so secret about it now I think she's found something else.

Hallowe'en is great fun! My husband and I took our one-year-old daughter out this year - an excuse to get away from the station and see how everyone else celebrates the day. We saw more than a few "Straw Hats" at Libertatia and took in a free concert at Space Station Three.

Be careful what role you play in public. A.C. Peters learned that lesson the hard way - some of my friends still call her "Sailor Mars," even after she made known her displeasure of being called that.

-L

---

From: Mamabear
To: nntp://fen.rocketscience.amateur
Time: 14:36 UTC
Date: January 10, 2016
Subject: RE: Avoiding the FAA's wrath

Adding to what SkyBird said about traffic in space, there are a few places you shouldn't try flying through until you're comfortable being at the controls. The obvious one is L5 - it's so crowded that there's an actual aerospace traffic control system in place, just like around the major airports on Earth. Ignore ATC at L5 and you'll probably hit someone - if you're lucky, it'll be a space rock and nobody will sue your estate for the cost of repairs. If you're unlucky, it'll be a passenger ship. If you really have to visit Genaros or Central or Abliarsec or New Yavin or Stellvia the first week you're Up, dock at Lief Erickson or Clarke County and take a taxi in - and watch how much work the pilot does.

The less-obvious one is Venus. They always - *always* - have "heavy storm" conditions. One of the reasons the Sailor Armed Militia pilots are so good is that they train in adverse conditions all the time. Get that IFR rating before you visit the Senshi.

Mars has ATC, too, but that's because of an incident back in 2013 that nearly wrecked a Shuttle with some VIPs aboard. Follow their instructions if you're near Mars; you don't want to piss off the Federation.

Oh, and bring along at least a two-way radio - a waved CB works well. The people over at Grover's Corners didn't, and they nearly caused an interfactional incident when they launched. You don't want people to worry about your intentions because you aren't answering their calls.

I hope to see you Up here soon, alive and well!
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Dartz]

From: jaguar.jet@zalem.grunthal.fen
To: nntp://fen.soc.biomods
Time: 25:20 MST (Mars Standard)
Date: October 31, 2015
Subject: RE: Halloween, okay this isn't too bad

>I've lost count of how many times I've been complimented on my 'costume'. Only downside is they keep asking J-friend and D-friend how much their 'kid's' costume cost. Or if they know about the costumer's guild they ask them how long it took to make.
>Be careful what role you play in public.

There's a difference between putting on a costume, and people already assuming you're in one. I'm in the second camp myself - or was a few years back before I sort of became well known. I'll be honest and say that - sometimes, when people assumed that I was just wearing a costume rather than being biomodded - it was actually kind of liberating. I could put all that baggage down for a bit and feel normal for a few hours - just another person in a suit. People tended to accept that a lot faster, and it helped me feel more 'normal' in the early days. At the very least, it saved a complex explanation. "It's a costume" is just so much easier to say than the alternative.

Some psychologists would call it unhealthy. But, it can be handy.

I'd cosplay if I could - it was always fun the few times I tried. I can't do it anymore for obvious reasons. Though, I wonder if our whole lives aren't some form cosplay after being biomodded.

Anyway, never let the fear of rogue memes stop you from doing something fun Otherwise, none of us would do anything.

-Jet

----------------------------------

-On my tombstone they will carve, "IT NEVER GOT FAST ENOUGH FOR ME.”
--Hunter S. Thompson
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?

[HRogge]

From: NotAButler_7
To: nntp://fen.support.biomods
Time: 13:55 MST (-0700)
Date: September 12, 2015
Subject: Hello out there Hello out there, your friendly new Earthbound feline biomod here. I had no idea that newsgroups were still a thing or that there was a whole fen hierarchy. The good news, apparently the local authorities are tired of playing hunt the biomod. The bad news, the paperwork. Oh lord the paperwork. I thought signing up for my first semester of classes involved a lot of paperwork but replacing my drivers license was what felt like a couple dozen pages of forms, hunting down my birth certificate, not yelling at a clerk who claimed there was no such form as the one I handed him, and an hour long meeting with the head of the DMV office in which I filled out yet more paperwork. All that and I won't even get a drivers license since I'm to small to sit in the driver's seat of any of my friends cars and comfortably work the peddles with a seatbelt on. So just a non-driver's state ID card for me. At least I'm a little taller than the limit for Arizona's booster seat law. Sure it's got an age cut-off but needing to convince people I'm really nineteen is already getting old. So any advice for a new catboy? Other than guarding my tail from the evil called the bus door, I've learned that one the hard way.

From: Cathy
To: nntp://fen.support.biomods
Via: Mars NNTP2Mail gateway
Time: 01:13 UTC (+000)
Date: September 13, 2015
Subject: Re: Hello out there

Hi NotAButler_7,

welcome to the craziness and fun getting an unplanned biomod. Good to hear that things have calmed down on Earth in some states, things were a little bit more hectic a only a few years ago. Yeah, we all had to learn that automatically closing doors coming in two categories, evil and intelligent. I don't know how long you have been biomodded, but it sounds like you already have taken care of all the basics.

I have set an alert for your nickname on the company computer, feel free to ask if you need a special advise.

Cathy

From: NotAButler_7
To: nntp://fen.support.biomods
Time: 17:31 MST (-0700)
Date: September 16, 2015
Subject: Q for other fur-bearing biomods

How the bleep do you keep from getting heat rash when it's hot and humid out? The last two days have been bleeping hell. Summer is always bleeping hot in Arizona but this is insane. All I have to do is step outside and it feels like I'm wearing a lead coat and hat. In an oven. I was born here it shouldn't feel like this. If it's this bad here I'm never going to the south (right, like any sensible catboy would head into the land of dueling banjos. I barely trust that I won't get jumped by crazies here).

From: Cathy
To: nntp://fen.support.biomods
Via: Mars NNTP2Mail gateway
Time: 6:30 UTC (+000)
Date: September 17, 2015
Subject: Re: Q for other fur-bearing biomods

Hi NotAButler_7.

Yes, fur can be sometimes a pain... I would suggest that you get used to comb it every day to thin it out a little bit. Oh, and try to do a catnap during the hot hours, a little bit additional sleep can do wonders! As long as you are prepared to be more active in the evening or night.

Normally I would suggest you get clothing with some environmental controls, but I don't think you want add more paper work or trouble by getting some waved hardware.

Cathy

[JakeGrey]

From: Old Man Tom
To: nntp://fen.support.biomods
Via: Mars NNTP2Mail gateway
Time: 22:22 UTC (+000)
Date: September 14, 2015
Subject: Re: Hello out there

Yes, we still have newsgroups. Honestly, kids these days...

Anyway, not much to add to all the good advice about getting your pilot's license (there were a few things that were news to me, in fact; I got mine well before I went Up) except that my partner is from your neck of the woods originally and knows a few local pilots who offer tutoring on the side. I can ask her to put you in touch if you like.

Also, it should go without saying, but that transit competency thing and the fen-only airspace lanes does NOT apply outside the US and Canada. If you want to fly anywhere near Europe you need a valid private ticket and a flight-plan, and a certificate of inspection to prove there's no residual 'wavium contamination if your craft's less than one year old. We don't have MMFD for fen with more enthusiasm than skill to splatter themselves across with no innocent bystanders, you know?

Oh, and the one thing more fun than cosplaying with 'waved costumes is bringing your fencraft to an actual old-style Con here on Earth. I did Collectormania in Milton Keynes last year, took people out for a quick spin over the city for £5 each, made three grand and got to buy David Braben a drink.

Speaking of which, if you're looking for ship ideas, the Elite: Dangerous dev-blog just posted a load of concept art.