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#1
(I have no explanation for this)

"What the hell are you doing here?"

There is no real way to answer that question without cracking wise. You just can't. Even if you lay your heart on your sleeve and offer the most accurate,
relevant, description of just what you are doing here; it will sound like you are cracking wise. Try it yourself. The next time some thick-jawed goon asks you
that question, respond. It'll sound like you're cracking wise.

"I'm the Easter Bunny."




His features crinkle with concentration as he tries to wrap his mind around that answer. His eyebrows creep towards each other, like amorous caterpillars,
intent on creating the uni-brow beast with two backs upon his forehead.

"Easy there." I show him my empty paws. "You want to have to go home and tell your kids you plugged the Easter Bunny?"

"You ain't the Easter Bunny." His hand, as thick and blocky as the rest of him, dips into his jacket; I bet its going to get cosy with the .44 he
has tucked into a shoulder holster under his left arm.

"Have you ever seen the Easter Bunny?" Logic is a wonderful thing and vastly underused.

"No, but. You ain't!"

"You don't seem to be qualified to identify the Easter Bunny, having never seen him." It sounds perfectly reasonable to me; but I think I've
played him as far as I can. "But you're right; I'm not the Easter Bunny. I'm Harvey the Rabbit. And can say with some degree of certainty that
you have not seen Harvey the Rabbit."

"You ain't Harvey the Rabbit!"

"Oh now you're just splitting hares." He gapes and I take the opportunity to kick him hard in the crotch. I've got long, powerful legs and
big feet. This is a huge mechanical advantage. He folds up and I spin around, driving a hard heel kick into his jaw. He goes down in a heap, blood bubbling
from around broken teeth.

I reach into my basket and pull out a package of Peeps and toss it down onto his chest.

Because no one fucks with the Easter Bunny.
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#2
I like. I presume, because this is in the Legendary board, you have this toon built somewhere. I trust that the last line is his bio.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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