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Cracked.com applies Fridge Logic to the Ministry of Magic
05-03-2016, 05:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-05-2019, 08:19 PM by robkelk.
Edit Reason: post-import formatting cleanup
)
... and ends up with Fridge Horror:
5 Horrifying Realities Of The 'Harry Potter' Government
So, how many of these conclusions is Doug going to reach? It can't be "none" - Dolores Umbridge is at Hogwarts, after all.
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Rob Kelk
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The sad thing about the Harry Potter universe is that thinking too much on almost any part of it results in Fridge Horror. It is a rich, entertaining tapestry, but it was assembled piecemeal with no long-term planning except for the overarching plot, and so details were added as time went on that make sense for the book they're in, but turn earlier books into a mess. I think this, more than anything else, drives the fan writers and fanon -- the desire to make things make sense.
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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It is something of an extended example of Belisario's Law. ("Don't think too hard about it; it's just a television show.")
Ebony the Black Dragon
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OP article Wrote:So, yeah, in reality, every single intelligence agency in the world
would be toiling in secret with one goal in mind: figure out how magic
works, how it can be countered, and how every wizard in the world can
quickly be assassinated before they figure out what's happening. There's
your eighth Harry Potter book, JK! This is what happens when you apply realpolitik to fantasy worlds: A world where the crazy shit done by the CIA, KGB, et al are actually justified.
They did fail to consider one thing: that if Osama bin Lestrange did sneak attack the muggles, The Doctor would just swoop in and save England. Imperius curse doesn't work on Time Lord physiology, duh. This is also what happens when you apply realpolitik to fantasy worlds: literally anything could affect your calculus due to the number of unknowns. There really is a lot of room for fanfic to make sense of the canon. But rather than taking the xkcd What If? approach, you'd be better served by asking what would make the wizarding/muggle world relationship homeostatic.
-- ∇×V
One of the problems with the HP books is that it presumes to be internally consistent enough to be a children's series that matures with Harry into something more like a young adult series. The other problem is that it's not written consistently enough for that.
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~o
"and if you are wondering what they eat and drink, or other science facts, Remember it's just a Story. you really should relax.
La lala...
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Actually, that's pretty much covered in-universe. The kitchens of Hogwarts are full of house elves who can pretty much make magic into their gimp-suited bitch, and are pretty much slaves themselves. They'll even hop-to for any student that happens to find their way to the kitchens, which, IIRC, is a convoluted path precisely for that reason. (Enough that any student that figures it out is left unmolested for the most part, as they'll have earned it.)
As for the issue of house elf slavery... Well...
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I often figure the Wizarding world seems so odd and weird is because we're looking at it from the perspective of a kid that starts as an outsider. To an adult wizard, there's probably a lot of internal logic that Harry's never been exposed to, and it makes just as much sense to them as the real world does to us... wait. Shit.
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Black Aeronaut Wrote:Actually, that's pretty much covered in-universe. The kitchens of Hogwarts are full of house elves who can pretty much make magic into their gimp-suited bitch, and are pretty much slaves themselves. They'll even hop-to for any student that happens to find their way to the kitchens, which, IIRC, is a convoluted path precisely for that reason. (Enough that any student that figures it out is left unmolested for the most part, as they'll have earned it.) Now I'm trying to remember which crossover fic had that as a minor point. It was a Potter/Nanoha fic, Nanoha and Fate had been sent to investigate Hogwarts, and they'd found the kitchens and asked for Japanese food ... which the house elves didn't know how to make - so sorry, can't help you. But Nanoha did know (being the daughter of a café owner) and taught them, so the girls got the food they wanted after all.
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Quote:Matrix Dragon wrote:
I often figure the Wizarding world seems so odd and weird is because we're looking at it from the perspective of a kid that starts as an outsider. To an adult wizard, there's probably a lot of internal logic that Harry's never been exposed to, and it makes just as much sense to them as the real world does to us... wait. Shit.
Back when Bob posted: Quote:It is a rich, entertaining tapestry, but it was assembled piecemeal with no long-term planning except for the overarching plot, and so details were added as time went on that make sense for the book they're in, but turn earlier books into a mess.
I thought of commenting that he'd just given a fair description of reality, but I didn't want to be a downer.... (Life, the universe, and those damned mice!)
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Quote:robkelk wrote:
Quote:Black Aeronaut wrote:
Actually, that's pretty much covered in-universe. The kitchens of Hogwarts are full of house elves who can pretty much make magic into their gimp-suited bitch, and are pretty much slaves themselves. They'll even hop-to for any student that happens to find their way to the kitchens, which, IIRC, is a convoluted path precisely for that reason. (Enough that any student that figures it out is left unmolested for the most part, as they'll have earned it.)
Now I'm trying to remember which crossover fic had that as a minor point. It was a Potter/Nanoha fic, Nanoha and Fate had been sent to investigate Hogwarts, and they'd found the kitchens and asked for Japanese food ... which the house elves didn't know how to make - so sorry, can't help you. But Nanoha did know (being the daughter of a café owner) and taught them, so the girls got the food they wanted after all.
Yeah, I recall that one as well. Don't remember the name off the top of my head, but I think I got it on email alerts... that said, I don't think the author's updated in a while.
Pity. 
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Black Aeronaut Wrote:Yeah, I recall that one as well. Don't remember the name off the top of my head, but I think I got it on email alerts... that said, I don't think the author's updated in a while.
Pity.
I believe the story you're referencing is http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8640163/10 ... Witchcraft]Nanoha Takamachi and the School of Witchcraft (Link to chapter in question).
There's actually a sequel that just updated in January...
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drogan niteflier Wrote:Black Aeronaut Wrote:Yeah, I recall that one as well. Don't remember the name off the top of my head, but I think I got it on email alerts... that said, I don't think the author's updated in a while.
Pity.
I believe the story you're referencing is http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8640163/10 ... Witchcraft]Nanoha Takamachi and the School of Witchcraft (Link to chapter in question).
There's actually a sequel that just updated in January... That's the one - thanks!
And there's a sequel? Wicked...
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the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
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Quote:drogan niteflier wrote:
Quote:Black Aeronaut wrote:
Yeah, I recall that one as well. Don't remember the name off the top of my head, but I think I got it on email alerts... that said, I don't think the author's updated in a while.
Pity.
I believe the story you're referencing is Nanoha Takamachi and the School of Witchcraft (Link to chapter in question).
There's actually a sequel that just updated in January...
Actually, it last updated October 24, 2015. Nearly seven months ago.
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Quote:drogan niteflier wrote:
Quote:Black Aeronaut wrote:
Yeah,
I recall that one as well. Don't remember the name off the top of my
head, but I think I got it on email alerts... that said, I don't think
the author's updated in a while.
Pity.
I believe the story you're referencing is Nanoha Takamachi and the School of Witchcraft (Link to chapter in question).
There's actually a sequel that just updated in January...
Thanks for linking, that's a pretty great fic. Enjoyed where Nanoha "befriends" Peeves. As for this part: Quote:"I've seen enough to know you're better than most of the louts we had
last year," Pete said. "Our best players graduated, and the only one
left I'd consider worth a damn is Roger."
I was really disappointed when I found out the other players weren't Keith and John.
And, back on topic: Matrix Dragon Wrote:I often figure the Wizarding world seems so odd and weird is because
we're looking at it from the perspective of a kid that starts as an
outsider. To an adult wizard, there's probably a lot of internal logic
that Harry's never been exposed to, and it makes just as much sense to
them as the real world does to us... wait. Shit. The world is a comedy to those that think; a tragedy to those that feel. -- Horace Walpole
-- ∇×V
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With regard to house-elf slavery, is it ever explained canonically WHY most of them don't seem to want freedom?
And if it is, WHY doesn't Miss oh-so-smart Granger learn (or at least try to learn) that reason and attack the problem at the root, rather than treating the symptoms by attempting to trick the elves into freedom? In fact, even if it isn't explained, she should realize that finding out the rationale would be the first step toward making real progress....
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Quote:DHBirr wrote:
And if it is, WHY doesn't Miss oh-so-smart Granger learn (or at least try to learn) that reason and attack the problem at the root, rather than treating the symptoms by attempting to trick the elves into freedom? In fact, even if it isn't explained, she should realize that finding out the rationale would be the first step toward making real progress....
I thought that would be obvious Because she's a teenager. There is never in this world a creature that is so self-absorbed and convinced of its own correctness and infallibility as an adolescent human being in the throes of higher education.
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