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TGNH - Chapter 2
Re: The hell with it.
#51
Quote:
ETA: My playlist progressed, and I have another perfect fit: Cake's Pretty Pink Ribbon is Hell Sakura's message to Genin Sakura - "Without the pretty pink ribbon, you'd end up just like me/without the pretty pink ribbon you'd burn these dying leaves"
*google's full lyrics*
Jesus. I don't -care- what it sounds like - you can't hit closer than that.
Black Fire doesn't work, though - Itachi, I think, isn't angry. He's just -dead- inside, and I think there's actually a good chance that he always was. This Wikipedia article comes fairly close to my conception of him.
As far as I'm concerned, he's even less sympathetic than Hell Sakura.
Ja, -n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: The hell with it.
#52
Mainly, it sounds like the guy from Cake talking over a guitar line, like every other Cake song. They're not exactly known for innovation, Cake.
As for Black Fire, I meant it more as being about Itchi-kun from Sasuke's point of view. Itachi himself... I think he was pushed too young into the life of a ninja and then ANBU - a kid who's put on the assassin squad at eight should suprise no one when he turns into a twisted freak who doesn't care who he kills, and tortures for the fun of it.
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Reply
Re: The hell with it.
#53
Quote:
Itachi himself... I think he was pushed too young into the life of a ninja and then ANBU - a kid who's put on the assassin squad at eight should suprise no one when he turns into a twisted freak who doesn't care who he kills, and tortures for the fun of it.
Our two interpretations aren't neccessarily mutually exclusive.
Anway, because a particular bit of The Fight Scene is being troublesome, I'm gonna take a moment to explain my take on elemental jutsu.
See, most of the different elements we've seen have actually been doing the same thing - Ryuuka and Suiryudan, for instance, are both extremely destructive chakra hogs that can absolutely annihilate a single target and cause some noteworthy collateral damage to anything next to the line of fire. So, once you pick a given element as your focus, you can rely on being able to do -most- of the same things that you'd find in another element... the distinction is sort of their style of doing things.
So, Fire and Lighting are raw offense, with Earth being best suited to defense and Wind and Water somewhere in the middle. On top of these aptitudes, they've got their own demands on the user - for instance, Water is energy (chakra) efficient, but requires fairly complicated manipulation of the user's chakra, ie, a lot of seals, while Fire trades some precision and efficiency for being a -lot- simpler to handle.
Lightning, BTW, doesn't actually have to do with moving electrons - instead, it's concerned with manipulating raw, unfiltered chakra... Which means that it's very simple (since you only have to do one thing to your chakra to perform the technique) and eminently controllable (since it remains in a form extremely close to the user's own natural chakra), but requires a -lot- of stamina to perform effectively.
And, of course, there're always people who have a particular aptitude for one or the other kind of chakra - Like the Uchiha clan's fondness for Fire jutsu.
Ja, -n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: The hell with it.
#54
Quote:
Our two interpretations aren't neccessarily mutually exclusive.
That they aren't - though after watching this week's fansub episode, I have to say Mizuki fits that wiki article profile even better. Itchy-kun at least does have the skill to go with the level of respect or fear he's after. Mizuki got is ass handed to him by a kid who hadn't even made genin yet in the first episode, and in the latest is really only a bit ahead of Iruka, a chuunin who spends his days in front of a vlassroom rather than training. Granted, Naruto isn't your average kid and Iruka probably does spend an hour or two a day on practise to keep is hand in.
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Reply
music
#55
Well since music has come up, if Naruto winds up fighting Neji again:
Bad Religion: Destined for Nothing
"Who do you believe can put some meaning in your life?
"Its easy to confuse grand design with lifes repercussions
"Why cant you see, There aint no destiny

It might work well for Neshan though, in general.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Reply
Re: music
#56
I've always seen "Wannabe" by Ger as the theme song for Naruto - the character, not the series. Well. Okay. That's just me.
Still!
Ger is an indie singer from Singapore, so that's about as obscure as you can get...though some of my US friends have found her stuff on filesharers.
Or, you can just hit www.g-e-r.org - the site's jukebox is a pop-up window off the main page, 'tho, so if y'usin' a popup blocker or somethin', well, yeah...
-- Acyl
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Re: music
#57
Quote:
Or, you can just hit www.g-e-r.org - the site's jukebox is a pop-up window off the main page, 'tho, so if y'usin' a popup blocker or somethin', well, yeah...
*does so*
Absolutely.
For the others... Well, these are all fairly cliche, but apt. For Sakura I'd favor Bon Jovi's It's My Life. Sasuke... Stabbing Westward - The Thing I Hate. For the last, obvious question, it's not quite so close to my heart... I don't have that much confidence in my own will... but he's not quite me anymore. So, Three Doors Down - Duck and Run.
Second opinions, anyone?
Ja, -n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
I'm proud of this
#58
Even if I -am- a bit worried that it makes Neshan come off as a little too badass.
Ah, well.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ohayo, Rin-sensei."
"Ohayo, Neshan-kun. How are Kabuto-kun and Konchuu-chan these days?"
"She... it was a mission, a couple months after you died. But he's doing fine; keeps throwing his Chuunin exams."
"Oh... and you?"
"I'm a Jounin."
"I knew you could. So, I guess we'll have to-" She blinked as his hands came up in a quick series of seals. "Kawarimi?"
The girl who dropped out of the cloud of smoke that technique left behind was fast and good - she caught her balance and evaluated her surroundings even before it had completely cleared. "Wha?"
Rin laughed. "Your sensei thought you'd have a better chance against me than my summoner."
Her student's student - and how odd that felt to think, since the last she'd seen of him he'd still be younger than this girl was now - nodded slightly and settled into a taijutsu stance she didn't know. "Alright, Inuzuka-sensei. But I need to help my teammates, so I can't let you stop me."
"Ara? Inu- oh, the bandages. No, they're just... hiding something I don't like to be reminded of. But you're in a hurry, so let's go."
[Sakura vs. Rin here]
* * * * *
He came out of the Kawarimi tense and ready and facing his opponent.
Her face twisted into a terrible snarl. "You."
"Yes."
"You interrupted me."
"Yes."
Her eyebrow twitched, and then she visibly reigned herself in. "You're going to pay for that," she told him. "Even if I -did- want to talk to you anyway."
"No," he said, and swapped places again, this time with a largish branch on the other side of the clearing.
She threw out a palm, launching a... ripple... of chakra, intense enough to be visible, that crashed through the tree he had landed in and sent its crown tumbling to earth. Fortunately, he had already been in motion, launching himself up and forward in an arc that peaked more than a hundred feet above the ground. Their gazes met for an instant as he seemed to hang in the air, and he smiled and launched both fistfuls of kunai - a full thirty, a personal record - in a ragged and none-to-accurate spray.
Then they multiplied, sixty, one hundred twenty, two hundred forty, more. "kagekunai no jutsu," he murmured, and carefully failed to keep smiling when a tightly controlled whirling sphere of chakra knocked away that tiny fraction of the blades that would have actually hit their target.
He landed with a tap, and she laughed.
* * * * *
[Sasuke vs. SPOILER DELETED goes here]
* * * * *
When she got ahold of that 'Black Guardian' character, she was going to give him one of her special treatments. Perhaps something along the lines of what she'd given Shino, with the ants and the sulfuric acid and that -lovely- amplification jutsu.
Still, while he might have sold her a line about having a -real- second chance, since this place was so warped and deluded from what had actually happened, it -was- a halfway decent playground, so maybe she'd only regenerate him once.
Nah.
She had to laugh, though - this guy might be an imposter trying to fill shoes too big for him, but he wasn't actually half bad for all that. Not too smart, maybe - he obviously didn't know when it was time to run - and real short on actual -power-, but he had some skills and he was no slouch at applying them.
Still. She had questions to ask him, so she started working up a heavy binding jutsu - Senei Jashuu should do the trick. He crouched, just slightly, and her Byakugan saw a minute flicker of chakra arc down and ground itself into the earth a tiny split second before he vanished in a brilliant yellow flash.
Two flashes, actually - one where he had been standing and the other right behind her back, and very close, so close that his entire face was hidden in her blind spot. His hands opened, releasing a cloud of tiny slips of paper to flutter in the air, each of them bearing... Her hands flickered through the seals automatically. Kawa-
*flickerFLASH*
-rimi and he was there -before- her, grinning, with more Explosion Notes drifting on the breeze and already flaring-
*flickerFLASH*
*BA-BOOOM*
She rolled forward out of the burning tree and landed on her feet with a slam. Pieces of charred flesh tore free at the impact, leaving blood to ooze out for the few moments before her regeneration seal repaired the damage and generated new skin underneath the old, leaving entire blackened sheets to crackle and dissolve away.
He was standing on the other side of the field, watching her, and as he raised his hand to point straight at her one of the complex knots of chakra bound to five of his Heavenly Gates spun free and up and out of his arm and finger.
*GA-KAM!*
What she'd just seen was impossible - a jutsu being triggered without any external hand seals or internal chakra control - and that preoccupied her for the fraction of a second it took for the attack to hit her.
Raide no Jutsu was a powerful elemental attack, one of the most dangerous of the Lightning types, but it had been a long time since she was weak and pathetic enough to roll over after only a single blow. She came back upright, ignoring the quickly fading burn through her chest, set herself... and moved.
She had things she wanted to know, so she didn't hit him full force. Just enough to liquify his intestines, rather than scattering fragments of his extremeties across the landscape. He doubled over most satisfactorilly, but then vanished with another yellow flash and flicker of chakra.
Vanished to behind her, where he was lunging forward with kunai in hand. She twisted to respond, but-
*flickerFLASH*
-he was crouching down low to her right and exploding upward, blade-first, and this time she was too slow to stop it going home but not too slow to bring that elbow down, hard-
*flickerFLASH*
-and he was falling towards her with another kunai in hand for a killing stroke as she turned her momentum from the previous two blows into additional speed that brought her foot up and across before he could react and blasted him across the field and through three seperate trees.
"ow, ow, ow, -shit-," she heard in the distance, and then-
*flickerFLASH*
-he was standing across the field, glaring. His hand came up - another slight flicker of chakra around it - and then he was holding a slip of paper, which he threw with a triggering chakra burst like for an Explosion Note and as the Jutsu unwrapped and expanded to take effect she recognized it, another Raide but this time she wasn't shocked and twisted aside.
He threw a second Raide, and a third, four, five, six, seven and then she was in the right position and the right balance to launch herself forward and under the eighth and slam a full-power blow into his chest and knock him flying while the ninth Raide Note fluttered harmlessly to the ground.
Something was bothering her. Something she hadn't recognized, something she was missing... wait.
A slight flicker of chakra... Her eyes widened. "Oh." And if that was, then... her eyes darted around, cateloging the kunai he had scattered across the battlefield with that entirely to obvious leap. "Oh."
He blinked as she formed the first seal - his hand came up - second - twisted slightly - third - molded the chakra - fourth - caught the Raide Note as it slid out into his palm - fifth - threw it - sixth...
She smiled, and the now blank sheet of paper fluttered to the ground. He swore in a language she didn't recognize.
"Checkmate," she said. He knew what jutsu that was, from his expression, and he knew what it did, and knew there was no point in pushing things until -she- came to -him-.
He started to walk across the battlefield. "Fuuinshuku no Jutsu. Not many people know that. I'd figured Orochimaru might think of it, but... Damn."
She giggled. "Oh, you -are- ambitious, planning to fight one of the Sannin."
"I'm already doing that, or close enough. Besides, you never know if you don't try."
"Y'know, I think you might have managed it," she thought out loud. "Do they tell you you're a genius? Because they should - figuring out how to bind complex Ninjutsu to written Notes, let alone your own Heavenly Gates, and that fake Shunshin of yours... Using seals built into kunai which you could throw where you wanted to go as anchors for an instantaneous transposition jutsu... That was brilliant."
"Fake, hell. This's all the Body Flicker ever was."
Her eyes widened, and she tapped her chin. "Really? You must have started very early, to have Yondaime there to teach you."
"He didn't." Neshan's patient progress stopped just outside that range which she could cover in a single lunge.
"Sugoi." She cocked her head as his eyes narrowed in concentration. "Where's Kakashi? Because you know you're impossible."
"Elsewhere."
Her eyes flashed at his evasion, and then she sniffed. "This is -wrong-. Even -he- isn't a big enough hypocrite to run away and leave a team without their sensei. So -where- the -fuck- is Team 7's -real- Jounin!?" she asked herself.
Raiken, the Lightning Blade, funneled a constant stream of chakra out of the user's palm, which extended out to a distance of perhaps a foot before arcing back into the user's Inner Coil System. It wasn't really anywhere close to as destructive as the Chidori it had inspired, nor any technique on that level, but in close combat it was more flexible, and it added noticably to the user's reach - which, in combination, was why he kept a single execution of it as one of his precious eight reserve techniques.
*GAZAZAKRAKZAKRAKZAZA*
"RIGHT HERE!" He lunged, sweeping the flaring, popping blade of raw chakra up and around. She dodged, leaning back - barely - out of the way, and he brought his other foot forward to come on balance and transferred the jutsu from right hand to left - ignoring the shocking bolt of pain as his Inner Coils system protested the unaccustomed load - and into a blinding thrust that she ducked under by falling back onto her hands.
And then he was flying through the air and everything between knees and neck was a single blinding flare of agony.
He crashed to the ground and came back up, but she was standing twenty feet away and smiling, and he met her eyes defiantly and the world was black and green and blue and red and spinning and melting and merging and...
He was lying on a table, with his limbs and head tied down. The sky was red, and the sun black.
"Tsukiyomi," he said. "An offensive visual genjutsu based on the fully activated function of the Madoiringan bloodline. It allows the user to take full control of the target's senses, including that of time. However, due to the complexity of the task and the delicacy of the neccessary pupil charictaristics when compared to the neccessary chakra load, subjective duration is limited to a maximum of seventy-two hours." A pause. "Tsukiyomi, and -you-. Fuck."
She leaned forward into his vision and laughed. "Isn't it, though? And now, would you like to tell me everything you know before, or -after- I start?"
"I'm stubborn. After, please - but do remember you're on a time limit." He grinned like a death's head. "I will."
She laughed again, and picked up the first scalpel.
* * * * *
[Naruto vs. SPOILER DELETED goes here]
* * * * *
She was glaring as the world finally spun back into reality around him. "How the fuck did you do that?!"
He chuckled, drily, and forced his screaming body back into a combat stance. "Think about it."
She crouched and went through three quick seals before extending her clawed right hand in front of her, with the other bracing that wrist.
*BACHICHICHICHICHICHICHI*
Nothing else in all the world sounded quite like that. Even at his best, he couldn't dodge a Chidori - and after the Tsukiyomi, he wasn't anywhere even -close- to that. Which meant that he'd have to endure it. The flip side of that, of course, was to carry the Lightning Edge home, she'd have to enter -his- range... As vicious and destructive as Kakashi's brainchild might be, it still couldn't equal the Shikouseibaku's shattering power - and he had three of those left.
He set himself, and waited.
"I don't care what you know anymore," she yelled over the roar of escaping chakra. "You've become a problem."
*CHICHICHICHICHICHICHICHI*
Seen in animation, Chidori looked stupid and obvious - simply running, clutching a ball of lightning. The difference between that and reality, he had a split second to think, not for the first time, was really nothing more than simple speed - speed that drove the eyes to tearing slits from wind force, speed that shifted the entire world around the attacker into a flashing blur - speed that could cover hundreds of feet literally in the blink of an eye.
He knew, as he made it, that she would see and react to his counterstrike. Fortunately - from one point of view - her response was as he had expected.
The Shikouseibaku received its effectiveness thanks to the way its individual component streams converged - the first, and most obvious effect, was that having a number of different forces acting inwards in a ring combined their overall effect to transfer the greatest amount of energy to that portion of the target. The second was that, by having several different rings going off in sequence, not only would the overall energy be amplified again, but it - and the physical matter being incidentally carried along in the rush - would be driven and directed -into- and -through- the target, with such intensity that no realistic defense could hope to resist it.
Chidori disrupted other jutsu by applying such intense energies that the organization of the opponent's effort dissolved like butter dropped in a fire. The Shikou's finely tuned timing made it -more- vulnerable, not less, and the strike she had adjusted to meet his own blasted it outwards into scattered shreds - and then continued on to do the same along the entire line of his arm, from wrist to shoulder.
And then her momentum carried her hand out past his body and slammed them together like a kamikaze into an aircraft carrier.
For the moment, it didn't hurt - endorphins, shock, and simple overload combining to filter out what would have otherwise been overwhelming - and before she had even had time to realize that he wasn't dead he had slammed his -other- hand up from the side and into her floating ribs - triggering a second Shikou as he did so.
It threw her up and away, and even before he looked to follow her he was forcing the one-handed seals for a basic medical ninjutsu past the building pain. Even the greatest medic-nin would take time to recover from having half of her internal organs explosively relocated, and -this- kind of bleeding couldn't wait.
It hurt, cauterizing his shoulder like that, but he didn't have more than a moment before she recovered and he had to make his move in that window. Her stomach looked like raw meat and he landed on it with one knee, and his hand stabbed down as her eyes widened...
The Shikouseibaku annihilated her head and most of her shoulders, and dug a deep hole into the soft earth.
Then she poofed away into smoke and a freight train hit him in the chest and knocked him tumbling.
He rolled back upright and kneeled where he had landed, remaining hand splayed out, while his chest heaved as he tried to regain his breath. When he looked up to meet her eyes again - no danger of a second Tsukiyomi, since the shock of performing that technique would have stunned the fine muscles neccessary to control it for some time yet - her lips were drawn back from her teeth in a horrible snarl, and, for the first time, her hunched posture told him that she hadn't completely repaired the damage he had done her.
They stared at each other for a long, hating moment, and then she drew herself up and spoke. "You'd have eaten Orochimaru alive. But I'm better than he is, and now you're mine."
[And while there -is- more already written after this line, you're going to have to wait until I've got -much- more of the chapter ready before you see it.]
Ja, -n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
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sugoiiii
#59
Chakra macros, whee!
>[And while there -is- more already written after this line, you're going to have to wait until I've got -much- more of the chapter ready before you see it.]<
Admit it, Nate. You practiced saying that in front of a bloody mirror, smirk on your face, just because you wanted to see how it felt. Bastard.
Brilliant bastard, though.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm
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Re: sugoiiii
#60
Quote:
Chakra macros, whee!
*blinkblink* You can look at it that way, although they were actually inspired by the concept of 'hanging' spells, from the latter half of Zelazny's Amber series.
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Brilliant bastard, though.
*SEG*
Well, that's -one- 'not overpowered' checkmark.
Ja, -n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: I'm proud of this
#61
I stand amazed at the youthful power and hard-earned skill of your avatar! You are truly a shining example of the brilliant springtime of youth! Such style and finesse... I am moved to manly tears!
- FuzzyDrognWhat, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Re: I'm proud of this
#62
Quote:
I stand amazed at the youthful power and hard-earned skill of your avatar! You are truly a shining example of the brilliant springtime of youth! Such style and finesse... I am moved to manly tears!
*hands FuzzyDrogn a hankie*
Ja, -n
(working on the Demon Bros. fight again)
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: I'm proud of this
#63
Quote:
Sakura vs. Rin
Interesting choice on H!Sakura's part. How did she figure that part out though? And I'm surprised she didn't do the zombyizing-kunai-in-the-back thing Mr. Fantastic did during the Chunnin exams, but I guess she read Neshan wrong in thinking he'd be freaked out about it? On an unrelated note, about one in every three times I see H!Sakura, I have to remind myself it stands for Hell! Sakura, not Hentai! Sakura.
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Then they multiplied, sixty, one hundred twenty, two hundred forty, more. "kagekunai no jutsu," he murmured, and carefully failed to keep smiling when a tightly controlled whirling sphere of chakra knocked away that tiny fraction of the blades that would have actually hit their target.
I smell a plaaaaaannnn.

Quote:
Something was bothering her. Something she hadn't recognized, something she was missing... wait.
A slight flicker of chakra... Her eyes widened. "Oh." And if that was, then... her eyes darted around, cateloging the kunai he had scattered across the battlefield with that entirely to obvious leap. "Oh."
And there's the payoff.
Wow. Just wow. Absolutely brutal battle. Neshan readily demonstrates why he's one of the elite of the strongest of the Hidden villages, but H!Sakura has such scarry weird powers that demonstrate that she's a force of nature. The use of the Body Flicker was inspired. H!Sakura's flirtyness just undlerlines the fact that she'd cheerfully eat Nehsan's head. Brrrr. What'd you do to the our sweet (most of the time) pink haired kunoichi?
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"Tsukiyomi, and -you-. Fuck."
Oh shits.

Quote:
Seen in animation, Chidori looked stupid and obvious - simply running, clutching a ball of lightning. The difference between that and reality, he had a split second to think, not for the first time, was really nothing more than simple speed - speed that drove the eyes to tearing slits from wind force, speed that shifted the entire world around the attacker into a flashing blur - speed that could cover hundreds of feet literally in the blink of an eye.
I like the description here. You don't see many selfinserts where the fact that what they saw from the show wasn't a gain, much less as intimidating as somebody running at you full tilt holding a lightning bolt.
Quote:
"You'd have eaten Orochimaru alive. But I'm better than he is, and now you're mine."
Neshan noooooo!
Again, I'm really impressed byt this fight. Both sides are doing there level best to kill the other, with Neshan recieving the worst of it. I'm still holding out for some miraculous save, but you couldn't really ask for a better fight to go out in. You should be proud, you magnificent bastard.---------------
Leo: (July 23 - Aug 22)
You'll feel a lot better with warm clothes on your back and food in your stomach, proving that cannibalism has a couple things going for it.
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"
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Re: I'm proud of this
#64
Quote:
Interesting choice on H!Sakura's part. How did she figure that part out though? And I'm surprised she didn't do the zombyizing-kunai-in-the-back thing Mr. Fantastic did during the Chunnin exams, but I guess she read Neshan wrong in thinking he'd be freaked out about it? On an unrelated note, about one in every three times I see H!Sakura, I have to remind myself it stands for Hell! Sakura, not Hentai! Sakura.
Actually, she had this entire Edo Tensei thing set up ahead of time - So, having Rin there wasn't anything to do with N... she actually had no clue they knew each other, anymore than she had a clue that the Team 7 she was getting wasn't the one she remembered.
She was planning to fuck with -Kakashi's- head.
And as for zombies, well, what's more horrifying - a blank -thing- that's wearing a friend's face... or seeing that precious person alive and fully aware of what you're doing to them and what -they're- doing to -you-.
The Hellbitch is both smarter, better trained, and a whole lot more vicious than Mr. Fangy-gumby.
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I smell a plaaaaaannnn.
*SEG*
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Wow. Just wow. Absolutely brutal battle. Neshan readily demonstrates why he's one of the elite of the strongest of the Hidden villages, but H!Sakura has such scarry weird powers that demonstrate that she's a force of nature. The use of the Body Flicker was inspired.
Force of nature is exactly right... In her home universe, there's -nothing- more unlucky than a cherry tree. -All- of the hidden villages are gone... And the truly sick thing is, she hasn't done -anything-, combatwise, that couldn't be predicted from her training and captured bloodlines.
As for Shunshin, well, I was rereading the Kakashi backstory to get a better look at Rin, for the E.T. thing, and I saw Yondaime handing out those special kunai with the seals on them and I kind of thought '...oh. it's obvious.'
And speaking of whom, is it just me, or does he wear a white version of the Special Jounin coat?
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H!Sakura's flirtyness just undlerlines the fact that she'd cheerfully eat Neshan's head. Brrrr. What'd you do to the our sweet (most of the time) pink haired kunoichi?
...literally. She'd do it -literally-.
And, unfortunately, the long stream-of-conciousness post I made while I was working that out for myself seems to have been eaten by the Hacker-bastard. Basically, she found out that killing people on missions made her feel powerful, like she was more than a little girl that had to be protected, and then things -really- snowballed. For decades.
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Again, I'm really impressed byt this fight. Both sides are doing there level best to kill the other, with Neshan recieving the worst of it. I'm still holding out for some miraculous save, but you couldn't really ask for a better fight to go out in. You should be proud, you magnificent bastard.
Actually, until she busted out the Chidori, she was trying to take him alive. You'll note how fast things go south after that.
I -am- thrilled with this, very much so. And, guess what? While, at the moment, I've got only the vaguest idea of how long this thing's eventually going to turn out to be, my current best guess is in the neighborhood of fifty, sixty chapters.
Current word count is 28,646, with Chapter 3 at ~70% and Chapter 4 closer to 30%.
Christ, I hope I can stick with it.
Ja, -n
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===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: I'm proud of this
#65
If not, we'll break out the rubber chickens and NERF weaponry, and apply them accordingly until you pick it up again.
-Griever
will post finished Incarna ch2 today, once I'm done with contractual obligations and get back to my lair.
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm
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Progress Report
#66
Well, I've mostly been going nowhere fast for the last few days, trying to tie up those last three scenes in Ch.3 before I start working on the kids' fights for 4.
How the hell did I get from 'Night of the Living Dead meets Zeiram: The Animation' to 'Naruto and Sakura have a (semi)romantic heart-to-heart'? And, more importantly, how do I handle it now that I have?
Gah. Here's the full bit, suggestions welcomed:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
JULY, TWELFTH YEAR AFTER THE ATTACK OF THE KYUUBI
Sakura was nervous, and she didn't know why. Gatou was dead, his company was in disarray, and his pet psychopath hadn't shown her face in weeks. There was absolutely nothing to suggest that the maniac hadn't just packed up and left, but some fragment of her subconcious kept insisting that they hadn't seen the last of that twisted mind.
As time had gone by, Team 7 had settled on the routine of having Naruto - or rather, his obligatory retinue of shadow clones - do most of the watching while the other three members took shifts staying close to their principal. While the clones couldn't observe any better than their creator, they -could- be in as many as twelve places at once, making up in redundancy and proximity what they lacked in acuity. Naruto himself simply rested and studied most of the time, conserving his chakra to replace the guards when the energy supplies holding them together ran out.
The construction workers who actually had to labor on the bridge while the four ninja apparently sat around and did nothing had been surprisingly understanding. All but a very few of them had had experience in other professions, like fishing, which made up for long dry periods with bursts of intense activity, and the site's grapevine had comfortably absorbed the idea that ninja duties followed the same pattern.
"Oi, Boss!" one of the men clustered around the bottom of the newest piling shouted up at Tazuna. "When are we due for lunch?"
"Finish that, then take a half hour!" their superior bellowed back.
"Yosh'! We'll do that!"
Naruto had been stretched out on his belly with an elbow on either side of the scroll he was working on, but now he rolled over to stare up at where his teammate was perching crosslegged on one of the bridge's railing's posts. "Ne, ne, Sakura-chan?"
She blinked and swore as his voice broke her concentration, disrupting the finely-metered flow of chakra she had been using to fold an origami crane in the palms of her cupped hands and tearing the delicate paper. "What?!"
He flinched and crab-walked a couple feet further away. "Eheheh... nothing, nothing!" he said, with a nervous grin.
She glared for a moment longer, then sighed. "Sorry. If I need to concentrate that hard then I guess I haven't got it down yet, have I?"
He nodded blankly. "If you say so, Sakura-chan!"
Sakura snickered and fished out another sheet of origami paper, then paused for a long moment before setting it gently on her knee. "Naruto?"
He twisted around to sit upright as he took in her tone of voice. "Eh?"
"A couple of weeks ago... You remember what happened just before those Nuke-nin attacked?"
His face scrunched up in thought for a moment, and then he grinned. "Oh, yeah! There was that puddle... and..." Halfway through the sentance he seemed to remember exactly why he had thought the incident was funny, and also why mentioning that fact might not be the smartest thing for him to do.
The girl on the pole had taken out a kunai and begun twirling it between her fingers - left-handed, since, trained ambidexterity or not, that wasn't something you wanted to do with your off hand - as he spoke, and she kept the motion and matching glare up for a moment before tucking the blade away and letting him off the hook with a smile. "If it hadn't been me, it actually -might- have been funny," she admitted. "But that wasn't what I was really thinking of. See, Sensei said something while I was trying to get the dress clean that stuck in my mind - that he thought you'd done it because 'bad attention was better than no attention.'" The last phrase she delivered with a fair imitation of their teacher's voice and accent, with its gutteral 'r's and odd pitches.
The smile on Naruto's face slid away abruptly, and he glanced aside rather than meet her eyes. "Yeah?"
She stared at him, taking in his fisted hands and the tension in his jaw - a posture, she suddenly realized, much like that he'd adopted that first day, when he had told her and Sasuke about his status as a Jinchuuriki.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: Progress Report
#67
That looks like a good bit to me, but perhaps I don't understand the quetion. Is it that you need a transition scene to fit in between, to contrast spooky-horrific base exploration and finding Haku and semi-tense/serious not-quite-downtime? If so - try a bit of playing or even slapstick, maybe as the kids are training. They are still kids, after all, even iof they are also trained to fight and possibly kill. It doesn't ahve to be anything major, maybe they get into a rock skipping contest, or Naruto turns into a giant squirrel with Henge and throws acorns at Sasuke when thy're tree climbing. Heck, teach them water walking early and have an amourous squid join the Sasuke fan club [Image: roll.gif]
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Re: Progress Report
#68
Quote:
That looks like a good bit to me, but perhaps I don't understand the quetion. Is it that you need a transition scene to fit in between, to contrast spooky-horrific base exploration and finding Haku and semi-tense/serious not-quite-downtime?
Mmm, not quite. See, the major plot development I had slated for this scene was Hell Sakura using some corpses she had lying around as proxy attackers, a la Karasu and the other Ninja Puppets - which led to Tazuna dying and Team 7 pursuing her towards the Umida household... from whence freaking Sasuke and disturbing revelations.
So, I was trying to come up with a little slice-of-life bit before the zombies close in, and Naruto and Sakura ended up having this major conversation - and I -can't- cut it short, because this is something that they -need- to work out.
Only, I have no -clue- how it's actually going to -go-, so...
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: Progress Report
#69
Pretty good. I actually decided that Sakura was the baddie you where talking about when you gave hints in the old thread, until I remembered that since she was _on_ team seven, she couldn't be elsewhere and was too young. Never even considered time travel.
You might also want to throw in a translation for all the jutsu's and such you've mentioned, especially since your using custom ones.--
"Just the idea of that bruised my very soul a little bit. So now when I die and go to whatever awaits, I'm going to have a big, purple mark on my arm. And I won't be able to stop touching it to see if it's stopped hurting. For all eternity."
--
If you become a monster to put down a monster you've still got a monster running around at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all. 
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Re: Progress Report
#70
Quote:
So, I was trying to come up with a little slice-of-life bit before the zombies close in, and Naruto and Sakura ended up having this major conversation - and I -can't- cut it short, because this is something that they -need- to work out.

Only, I have no -clue- how it's actually going to -go-, so...
Ah, I see. Hummina...
Okay, it needs a little more lead-up from where you are, but if you give Sakura a line similar to "I guess what I'm saying is... if you'll try to be less childishly annoying, I'll try to be a better freind, ne? (Sakura gives the big-cute-grin guaranteed to make Sasuke snort and look away, and Naruto turn into a puddle) Naruto does the fox-grin and shouts that it's a deal, but before they move on their ninja-sense tingles and they take fighting stances, only to be greeted by a horde of undead.
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Reply
Why is it...
#71
I can never work on what I meant to?
Eh. As long as I'm working, I'll call it good.
------Ch.3-Scene-2-------------------------------------------------
Block right, jump over toe kick, block right, block left, grab-twist-yank and drop an elbow across the back of the skull, step back to keep from being splashed as the bunshin dissolves...
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura snapped from behind him. He turned slightly and glanced out of the corner of his eye as she slipped a blinding thrust past an enemy bunshin's guard and buried a kunai through its temple, then pulled the blade free and spun to slash another's throat open in almost the same motion. "I'll handle the bunshin. Just find the real ones!"
He nodded, then hesitated a moment, running through his options. Yes, that one would do.
"Sabikeibi no Jutsu," he said, and folded his cupped palms open. About a dozen tiny dancing motes of light fluttered up in front of him for a moment, then swirled and darted off into the underbrush.
He followed, and a flicker of orange to his right told him that Naruto had seen the Fireflies also. Leaves and branches tore at his face and then he was out in the open, and there was a gleam of metal heading straight towards him. He flipped over it and crouched on the vertical trunk of a tree, looking 'up' and across at one of the two brothers as the bladed chain he had thrown hissed and slithered along the ground as it was wound back up into its concealing guantlet.
"SUITON: GYOSHIBUKI NO JUTSU!" Naruto roared as he emerged from cover, spitting a spreading cluster of short, high-density jets of water as he came.
The Kiri-nin dodged, of course, flipping up and back to land on a large branch next to his partner, who at the same time had sent a barrage of shuriken flying at their orange-clad attacker.
They passed harmlessly through him, as though through nothing more than air, and the image smirked and dived back into the bushes. "Bunshin?" asked one of the partners.
"No," said the other. "Some sort of Genjutsu."
"No matter." And they ran through identical sets of five seals in perfect unison. Faint arcs and whisps of chakra began to pass between them, the light pulsing like a heartbeat.
Naruto made another attack, this time dropping from the branches overhead, crying, "SUITON: GYOSH-"
One of the pulses built rapidly into a blinding flare, a flare that swept outward and washed over Naruto and everything in his vicinity. Six feet to his right, a puff of smoke appeared with a sharp popping sound as the Kagebunshin was disrupted.
There was silence, for a moment, as the Kiri-nin stood there watching Sasuke as he watched them, and then another bright flare shattered the tree where he had been sitting. Not that it mattered - apprearances aside, he was long gone.
"well?" he asked Naruto as they crouched side by side in the bushes, using the low, quiet tones that carried so much less than the higher frequencies of an actual whisper.
"not sure," the whiskered boy answered. "some kind of area-effect, and related to that pulsing light."
"heterodyne effect," Sakura put in from behind both of them, then subsided to watch as another of Naruto's clones made a third attempt - with no more benefit than the second had gotten. Then she resumed, "like two out of tune musical instruments, how their tones pulse?"
"and the flares are the high points in the wave," the blond boy said slowly, tasting the idea as he spoke. "what's the point?"
"efficient use of power," Sasuke answered. "neither of them is putting in much chakra, but they're getting a very powerful effect."
The kunoichi crawled forward to lie between her teammates and get a good look for herself. "mizubunshin are toast, by the way. what about weaknesses?"
"of course they are," Sasuke said dryly, as though he had never doubted it - and, in truth, he hadn't. "and it'd need to be very finely tuned to work - they probably can't afford to alter the distance between them without breaking the jutsu."
"then we need to move them." She nudged Naruto. "ne, try shuriken this time. they'll have less reaction time."
"way ahead of you," he answered, at the same moment a clone popped out of cover and did exactly that. It was wiped out immediately, but the second attacker some distance away lasted much longer.
Sasuke grinned, fiercely. "they need at least one intermediate pulse before they can fire again."
"and after?" Naruto asked.
Because they were hiding, Sakura refrained from cracking her knuckles. "leave that to me," she grinned, and vanished downward into a careful tunnelling jutsu.
Naruto glanced down and where she had been, then looked up to meet his teammate's eyes. 'Scary!' he mouthed with a grin.
"moron," Sasuke said, and then they split up.
As it ended up, splitting their opponents up was harder than it had sounded - the two nuke-nin proved to be able to maintain a constant awareness of their partner's location and react in unison to any threat to -either- - but Sasuke was able to use a carefully-anchored set of wires to swing around the trunk of the tree they were standing in and hit one at the same time that Naruto bounced off of one of his own clones to clobber the other going in the opposite direction.
Sasuke was too occupied giftwrapping the man he had hit to spare attention for the other, but then, the startled yelp, sudden scuffle, and horrible, particularly -final- crunching noise that followed the other's landing on the forest floor assured him that there was no need to worry.
There was a quiet, muffled *snap!* as he tugged the last loop of wire closed, and it took him a moment to realise what the Kiri-nin had done. Then he swore and flipped the larger man over onto his back. "Naruto, help!" he yelled, tearing the gas-mask away from the other's face and grabbing firmly to his jaw and then there was another pair of hands helping hold him still and they had yanked his mouth open and Sasuke didn't hesitate at all to jam his fingers down his throat to trigger the gag reflex...
Too late, he realised as the other - whose name, he suddenly recalled, he still did not know - began to thrash and foam at the mouth as the poison hidden in his hollow tooth took effect. The measure was a standard one for the Village of the Hidden Mist, he remembered now that it no longer mattered, and the toxin a violent one that killed in seconds rather than minutes.
A hand rested gently on his shoulder as he and Naruto watched their enemy's last moments. "Suicide?" Neshan asked.
"Hai, Sensei."
"...Don't worry about it."
"Hai, Sensei."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Bored at Not-Really-Work
#72
So, I'm going to take a moment to try and start up some speculation.
See, Chapter 33 of Two Halves (Yes, it's out. Go, read. I can wait 'till you get back.) started me thinking.
All through Naruto fandom, we seem to see two real interpretations of the Nine Tails. One school of thought basically says that he (as mythically apropriate as using 'she' might be, that's definitely a male voice) is a big softy who's just misunderstood... or at least, is redeemable.
The other school says that the Kyuubi is a mindless avatar of destruction, a slavering fiend with no existence save killing.
I can't remember -ever- seeing a Kyuubi who was as smart as he was evil, as capable of subtlety as carnage.
Which, it occurs to me, is also a pretty fair description for Hell Sakura.
...Which leads to thinking that Itachi is like Sesshomaru, only without the redeeming human caring. >.< Ow.
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: Bored at Not-Really-Work
#73
Quote:
I can't remember -ever- seeing a Kyuubi who was as smart as he was evil, as capable of subtlety as carnage.
hmm Kraken Ghost's FoxHound seemed like it fit into this category... of course I might just need another reread.. :S_____________________________
Shepard Book: The special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in cinemas.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.
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Re: Bored at Not-Really-Work
#74
Quote:
hmm Kraken Ghost's FoxHound seemed like it fit into this category... of course I might just need another reread.. :S
*blinkblink*
Oh, yeah, that one.
*rubs back of head* I don't remember too much about it, since, while I rather respect her, I don't much care to read about Ino... but, isn't that Kyuubi, well, dead?
Anyway, it's not like it's a common execution, and how -else- am I going to top the Pink Nightmare for my last plot arc?
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
Reply
Re: Kyuubi
#75
I think I've also seen 'devious' Kyuubi in a couple of fanfics. Nasty SOB with a well deserved rep as a force of destruction, but with all the traditional cunning of a kitsune. And he want's OUT of Naruto.
Example: 'Trading Places' - Hinata and Naruto get bodies swapped and Hinata is now hosting Kyuubi. Kyuubi is ecstatic - after all, Hinata is more susceptible to his bribery than Naruto.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
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