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[IC][Story] There's Nothing Better!
RE: [IC][Story] There's Nothing Better!
#26
September 19, 2016, 9:25 AM
The Westwood Apartments
San Antonio, TX, USA

Benjamin sighed as he puttered about in the maintenance shed that held the swimming pool filtration and heating equipment.  He was performing the daily chemical test so he could forecast how much of what chemicals the pool needed for its regular maintenance.

It wasn’t an unhappy sigh.  Far from it.  It was one of contentment.  Ben had a regular routine now, and he was quite happy about that.  The dark clouds wouldn’t settle over his mind until he was in his bed.

Alone.

No, can’t think about that, he thought to himself vehemently.  Things are good now.  I have positive cashflow.  My bills are settled.  My credit score is improving.  Things are gonna be fine.  I can start looking for a date... later.

Just as he was finishing up the tests, though, a piercing scream cut through the morning air and Ben bolted out of the shed, listening for the source.

The laundromat.

Dashing across the parking lot, Ben was there in just under five seconds, poking his head in to see what was wrong.

Inside, he found Mihoshi, teary-eyed and blubbering.  With her was Ayeka, her face ashen and her gaze vacant as she held up what look like a pair of panties...

...if a pair of panties had been attacked by voracious moths.  And noxious chlorine fumes wafted out of the space.

“Ah crap,” said Ben.

“What happened?” asked a voice behind him.  Ben turned around to find Noike looking deathly concerned.

“You asked Mihoshi to handle the laundry, didn’t you?”

“I did, why?”

“She washed all of your underwear.  And with waaayyyyy too much bleach.”

Noike swallowed.  “How... how bad?”

Ben shook his head.  “I think it’s better to ask, how many clean changes of underwear do you ladies have left in your closets?”

Noike sighed.  “Not enough for regular use.”

Ben nodded.  “Right.  Well, I was going to go pick up the van today.  Might as well break it in by taking everyone shopping.”

##

It only took Ben about a half-hour to get to the dealership using the Clockwise Looper bus.  From there, he signed off on the final paperwork, and then drove back to the apartment complex to pick up the girls.  And then they were off to the Rivercenter Mall in the downtown area.

The Ford Transit XLT Passenger Wagon had been something that Ben had splurged on somewhat, citing the liquid asset savings brought on by Washu in upgrading and fitting out the apartment units.  Lord Phantomhive grudgingly accepted the proposal, with the quid pro quo that any further vehicle purchases be on Ben’s own dime unless Ben could cite a valid need for such a thing.

Lord Phantomhive added that he had faith in Ben’s ability to keep things running smoothly, but at the same time he had better not mess up.

That said, the Transit van had a number of amenities, such as an onboard video entertainment system, lane-keeping warning system, fifteen passenger seating, powered running board, a complete roadside assistance and first aid kit, and the towing package with the five cylinder Power Stroke turbo diesel engine.

It was a bit cramped because Ben had opted for the low roof line, but this was mainly so that he could park it in San Antonio’s at-times claustrophobically small parking garages.

Though with everyone not being taller than Ben, there were no real issues in that department, and the ride was declared to be a smooth and comfortable one.

##

September 19, 2016, 11:15 AM
VIA Route 75
Buena Vista Street at Cattleman's Square
San Antonio, TX, USA

“FREQUENT. ROUTE. SEVENTY. FIVE. WEST. COMMERCE. FOR. DOWNTOWN.”

Kaname’s eyes fluttered as the mechanical voice echoed in her head.  Why was the bus’s announcement system working in English?  Suddenly, the features all began to register.

This was not one of the buses from her home.

Panic began to rise in her stomach and she forced it back down, because Kaname was a level-headed young lady and there was no way in hell she was about to make a scene and attract undue attention.

“Please remain calm,” said a familiar voice next to her that suddenly made the entire world seem safe once again.

“Sousuke!?” said Kaname, barely keeping it at more than a whisper.  “What is going on?  How long have I been out?”

“Twenty-two minutes from the time I regained consciousness myself.  From what I can understand, we’re somehow in America.  The City of San Antonio, Texas to be exact.”

“... How did this happen?  Was it Amalgam?  Was it... Leonard?”

“My brother had nothing to do with it.”

“Tessa!?” Kaname said in surprise.  “You too!?”

“Indeed.  And I can assure you, Kaname, this is very much real.”

“... So what do we do now?”

“I think it would be best if we pretended to be tourists,” said Teletha testarossa.  “At the very least we’re not wearing our uniforms, so that won’t stand out.  Though your hair may present an issue.  The only person I’ve seen with your color of hair was an obvious dye job.”

“If anyone asks about it, we’ll just say that I’m that good.”

“That should work.”

“NOW. APPROACHING. FLORES...  FLORES. STREET.  PLEASE EXIT THROUGH THE REAR DOOR.”

“This seems a good place to get off,” said Sousuke.  “Let’s go.”

Kaname and Teletha both nodded and the left through rear door, coming face to face with a small memorial.  Kaname blinked as she found herself reading it.

“‘Dedicated to those that are still on patrol...’  What?”

“It’s a memorial for submariners,” said Teletha with reverence in her voice.  “Whenever a submarine is lost, the custom dictates that they be forever regarded as being out on patrol, never to return home.”

“How...  how sad...” said Kaname softly as she began reading the plaque in greater detail.  It stung her nationalist pride somewhat to know that these people had all died fighting against her own country, but she had never been party to the “Hirohito Did Nothing Wrong” crowd.

But then, Kaname noticed something strange.

“Wait a minute.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Teletha.

“This is in English.  And I’m reading it with no trouble.  And right now, I’m speaking English like as if I spoke it my entire life.”

Teletha sucked in a breath.  “How did I not notice!?”

"You're from Boston, right?" said Kaname.  "You're already a native speaker, so it's only natural you wouldn't notice."

“We’ll worry about it later,” said Sousuke.  “Across the street.”  Sousuke pointed with his head to a plaza across the street.  “There is a cathedral over there.  It appears to be a popular tourist destination.  There are also tables over there.  We can probably get a better idea of how we stand if we sit down.  There are also signs saying that there is a WiFi hotspot in the area.  You can use your phone to gather information.”

Kaname nodded and soon they were seated at one of the metal mesh tables while Kaname made some queries online.

“Good news,” she said.  “There’s a currency exchange in the shopping mall about a kilometer up the road from here.  I’ve got about five-thousand Yen on me, so we should be able to get at least forty US Dollars.  That will be better than nothing.”

“Understood.  I have twenty-thousand myself.”

“Why do you have so much on you!?” said Teletha in shock.

“I never saw any reason why not.  There is very little crime in your town, and I can deal with most pick-pockets with ease.  Besides, cash transactions cannot be tracked.  Let’s move on.  I would also suggest we find some inexpensive food afterwards.  We are going to need our energy but we’ll need to make our money last.”

“Fine by me,” said Kaname.  “I was getting a bit hungry anyhow.  Except just this once I want a good burger from a real restaurant.”

“Why is this important?” asked Sousuke.

Teletha giggled.  “Sergeant, have you forgotten?  Kaname lived in America for a few years with her father.  It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s been missing the taste of a good American hamburger.”

“You got that right,” replied Kaname.  “The stuff they serve back home never compared to it.”

“Understood,” said Sousuke.  “Let’s get moving.  We’ll want to get there before the currency exchange closes.”

##

September 19, 2016, 10:10 AM
The Rivercenter Mall
San Antonio, TX, USA

“So, why did we come all the way downtown just for underwear?” asked Noike as they exited the elevators and entered the shopping mall proper.

“Mainly so that you ladies would have a good selection to choose from.  We’re gonna go to the Victoria’s Secret store.”

“That place!?” exclaimed Ayeka.  “But... those undergarments seem so...  so...”

“Ayeka, it’s fine,” said Ben consolingly.  “Look, I admit, they do have some pretty racy stuff in there.  But they also have a lot of very attractive and perfectly normal undergarments in there of all sorts.  Also, I have it on good authority that their undergarments are of excellent quality.  So long as you let the ladies inside properly fit you, then you should be very comfortable with your purchases today.”

“How do you know such things?” asked Ayeka in surprise.

Ben shrugged.  “I had a few girlfriends and one best friend that was very open with me.  You tend to learn a few things that most men don’t.”

“Ah, I see.  Ah, if I may ask, how open with you was this one friend?”

Ben chuckled.  “Well, not quite THAT open if that’s what you’re thinking.  She did tell me a lot about her past that she never told anyone.  And she didn’t care if I caught a look at what her mother gave her.”

“Wha... really?”

Ben nodded sagely.  “Let’s just say that she was a very well assembled woman.”

Noike chuckled at that.  “It’s alright, Ayeka.  Ben is... just a rather worldly sort.”

“My experiences have been rather interesting,” he agreed.  “Okay, here it is.  You ladies go ahead, shop to your heart’s content.  When you’re ready, give me a call and I’ll handle the transaction.  But you lot are on your own for carrying everything back to the van!”  Benjamin winked at them, bringing about a few titters.

“What are you two going to be doing?” asked Washu.

“I’m gonna take Tenchi over to The Express and get him properly outfitted with a couple of suits and a few other outfits.  Same for me for that matter.  Now g’wan.  Scoot!”

##

12:35 PM

Later, as Benjamin and Tenchi were making their way back to the Victoria’s Secret, Ben stopped as he saw something odd.

A girl with blue hair.

That in and of itself may not have been odd, but then he noticed that the tiny girl next to her had platinum-blonde hair that was so light that just ‘platinum’ by itself suited her better.  And then there was the boy - a bit exotic looking for being Afghani-Asian.  But the cross-shaped scar on his jawline was a dead giveaway.

“Holy shit.  Tenchi?  See those three over there?”

“Yeah?”

“Trail them at a discreet distance.  Those are characters from an anime, and I am 100% sure they’re not cosplaying.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because they’re not wearing uniforms.”

“Huh?”

“Normally they’re in uniforms.  So that would be what a cosplayer would wear, because that’s what’s most visually distinctive right after their physical characteristics.  But they’re in regular street clothes instead.”

“Oh, I get it!” said Tenchi as the light went on upstairs.

“...Looks like they’re heading for the currency exchange.  Find a bench nearby there, sit down, and look like you’re waiting for me.”

“Got it.  And if they leave?”

“Watch which way the go without being obvious about it and let me know.”

“Okay, will do.  Are they dangerous?”

“It depends on how they’re approached.  It needs to be handled carefully.  Hurry up and go.”

“Right.”



The shit is about to hit the fan...  Wink
RE: [IC][Story] There's Nothing Better!
#27
12:45 PM, September 19, 2016
Corner of Presa St. and E. Commerce
San Antonio, Texas, USA

Their money was exchanged and they looked around.  McDonald’s was deemed too cheap and Hardrock Cafe a bit too expensive.  And loud.  In the end, they settled on a place that seemed to be a local favorite.

“Whataburger?” said Sousuke suspiciously.  “That almost sounds like a name you make up for a work of fiction.”

“Well, it’s real, it seems popular, and if the brand name directly implies they have great burgers, then I’m sold,” said Kaname.  “C’mon.  Even if it’s not the best, it’s still food.”

As they stood in the back of the line, looking at the menu board, something came back to haunt Kaname.

“So... how come I’m suddenly fluent in English?”

“That’s...  That’s troubling,” replied Sousuke.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Kaname shot back.

“Captain, what do you suggest we do?  I have no frame of reference for a situation like this.”
“First of all, don’t call me Captain here.  Secondly, it’d be best if we just accepted it for now, or else we’ll draw attention to ourselves.”

“I think it may be too late for that,” said Sousuke.

“What?”

“Don’t look.  Male, medium build, about 25 years old.  Waist-length black hair with beard and mustache.  He’s been following us ever since the shopping mall.”

“... is he alone?” asked Teletha.

“I can’t tell for sure.  I thought he was with a group before.”

“Are you armed?”

“Yes.”

“Well, stay calm.  It may just be a coincidence.  The last thing we need is for a bunch of people to get hurt in a misunderstanding.”

“Understood.”

The three placed their orders, were given a numbered table tent, and went to find a seat.

At this point, Kaname and Teletha were able to get a look at him.  Sousuke’s description of him was accurate, but it did little justice to him.

He was handsome.

Not that Sousuke wasn’t, but Kaname and Teletha weren’t blind.  Idly Kaname wondered what he might have looked like at her age.  With a face like that?  He could only have looked like an elf or something!

They both tensed, though, when after placing his own order, he turned to lock eyes on them...

...and then smiled kindly as he made his way towards them - it was almost as if he knew they were in a bad situation and wanted to make them feel better.

“I hope you guys don’t mind, but I wanted to chat with you.  You’re here for the convention, right?  San Japan Sinister Six?”

“Ah... Yeah!  Sinister Six!” said Kaname, trying to keep calm.  “We heard all about it so we had to come and see for ourselves.”

The man nodded.  “Except that Sinister Six was two years ago.  After that was Samurai Seven, and this year it’s Eight-Bit.  And that Convention happened two weeks ago.”

Sousuke, Teletha, and Kaname sat utterly still in their seats.

“Howdy guys.  I’m Benjamin, and I’m gonna need you three to stay frosty here for a few minutes because the shit has hit the fan in a most profound manner, and everyone’s getting covered.”

“What do you mean?” said Sousuke right away.  “What have you done?”

“I’m as much of a victim as you guys are,” said Ben firmly, holding up a hand to forestall further commentary.  “Like I said, the shit has hit the fan and everyone’s getting covered by it.  The only difference between me and you is that I’ve been empowered to help people like you.”

“By who?” asked Teletha.

“God.”

“... Okay guys,” said Kaname nervously, “I think we should get going...”

“Okay, maybe that was a little sudden,” said Ben placatingly.  “Let’s try this.”  He then turned and waved at a group standing outside.  A Japanese boy about Sousuke’s age, and two women and two girls with bizarrely colored hair.  They all came inside and the boy introduced himself.

In flawless Japanese.

“Hi.  I’m Masaki Tenchi.  I know things are kinda scary right now, but Rodes’-san is only trying to help.  Oh, and these are my friends, Ayeka, Ryoko, Sasami, and Washu.”

Kaname blinked.  “You’re really from Japan?  Not American-Japanese?”

Tenchi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.  “Ah yeah.  It’s a very strange situation.  Maybe we should sit at one of the bigger tables and talk?”

##

Everyone else placed their orders while Kaname, Sousuke, and myself began to sort through things.

“That is really Tenchi Masaki from Tenchi Muyo?” said Kaname in shock as she watched the boy not much older than her placing his order.  “This isn’t some put on, is it?”

“I’m afraid not,” Ben replied soberly.  “The short version is that the Multi-verse broke down and a lot of realities have been getting mashed up together.”

“Multi-verse?” asked Sousuke.

“Argh,” grumbled Ben.  “Okay, you know the basic premise about Alternate Realities, right?  Like what could have been if you made a different choice at a critical point in time, right?”

“Yes,” said Teletha, “this is familiar to me.”

“Well, imagine that applied to everyone in the entire universe all at once.  With that, it’s possible that if you could go from one to another that you could very well wind up in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.”

“Are you saying we’re in Tenchi Muyo right now!?” cried out Kaname, just barely managing to keep her voice down.

“Were it so simple,” sighed Ben, rolling his eyes.  “No, what’s going on instead is that we’re in something called the Meta-Continuity.  Skuld explained it to me once - and yes, I do mean THAT Skuld who’s an adorable little tech-head with an attitude and the biggest penchant for icecream ever.

“Anyhow, the thing is that this is usually sort of a testing grounds - a completely self-contained machine networked into the Yggdrasil-Nidhogg system that is capable of operating independently of the rest of the system.

“When the system crashed completely, a failsafe mechanism kicked in that froze the entire multiverse, and it’s steadily bringing up backups of the most important bits of each universe here - that is, people like you guys and Tenchi.”

“Wait, let me get this straight,” said Kaname.  “We’re the important ones?  Like Tenchi?  Then...”

“Yep.  Hate to say it, but it’s true.  To most people you’re fictional characters, just as Tenchi is."

Teletha was thoughtful.  Sousuke didn’t seem to know what to think and Kaname looked like she was about to need a paper bag to hyperventilate into.  Fortunately, Tenchi came to my rescue.

“Hey guys.  I guess he dumped it on you, huh?” he said sheepishly.  But then he sobered, seeing that Kaname was about to have a panic attack.  “Look, guys?  It’s okay.  Just because we’re fictional to some people doesn’t make us any less real.  It just means that someone happened to make a story about our lives.”

“HOW!?” cried out Kaname.  “By peeping on us!?”

An amused snort came from Washu as she sauntered over.  “As if.  Really, it’s more like the idea behind Infinite Monkeys on Infinite Typewriters - eventually, one of them is gonna accidentally type up all of Shakespeare’s plays, and maybe even a few he was going to do, but never did.”

“So who the hell is this guy in all this mess then?” said Kaname hotly as she gestured to me.

Washu shrugged.  “Think of him as sort of a caretaker.  He’s familiar with quite a number of works of fiction, so he knows what to expect from people like you and me, and how to make our lives easier.”

“Alright,” said Teletha, cutting off Kaname, “say for the sake of argument that you’re right - and I must admit, it’s sounding very much that way, as strange as it seems - why should we go with you?”

“Well, let me count the ways,” said Ben.  “First of all, we can provide you with passports and identification; get you enrolled into one of the local schools or just have you test-out for a General Equivalency Diploma; maybe get you into one of the MANY local colleges here; provide you with a place to live - one that’s even Japanese style to ease the homesickness, get you Japanese style food as well; and generally help you out however we can so you don’t go stir-crazy.”

Kaname’s eyes narrowed at me.  “What -kind- of colleges?”

I smiled back.  “What kind of degree do you want?  Medical?  Engineering?  Literature?  Law?  Biology?  We got schools for just about everything here except for a handful of highly specialized fields like Aerospace Engineering.  For stuff like that, you’d have to go to one of the BIG schools like University of Texas’s main school up in Austin.”

“And you’d set us up?” said Teletha with a raised eyebrow.  “Just like that?”

Ben shrugged.  “It’s kinda my thing.  I like to help people out of the kindness of my own heart - mainly because I’ve been dealt a real shitty deal for most of my life, so I know how it feels to have the rug yanked out from under you.”

“What happened to you?” asked Teletha with mild concern.

“Physical and emotional childhood abuse.  Makes it real hard to cope with the world in general - there’s been a few times I’ve nearly crossed the line into dissociation.  Bad enough I was a serious day-dreamer to begin with.”

Teletha winced in sympathy, but Kaname was not placated.

“Why are you telling us that you’re a crazy person?”

“Did I say I was?”

“You said you have issues.”

Benjamin sighed.  “‘But I don’t want to go among mad people,’ said Alice.

‘Oh you can’t help that,’ said the Cat.  ‘We’re all mad here.  I’m mad.  You’re mad.’  

‘How do you know I’m mad?’

‘You must be,’ said the Cat, ‘or you wouldn’t have come.’”

“I didn’t come here of my own free will!” hissed Kaname.

Ben inclined his head.  “No.  But you’ve stuck things out with Sagara.”

Kaname winced and Teletha giggled.

“He’s got you dead to rights, Kaname!”

“Shut up.”

Sousuke stepped in at this point.  “What of the others?” he asked.  “If we’re here, then perhaps the crew is as well.”
Ben nodded at that.  “Reasonable.  Very very reasonable.  So far, you’re the first we’ve found so far, and only by pure dumb luck - I’d brought the others here out so they can do a bit of shopping and sightseeing - you know, get to know the place a bit better.  San Antonio is rife with history in a way that only places like Boston and Chicago are.

“But getting back to your question...  Honestly, we’d have to go looking.  And I think we’d better get to it quickly.”

“Why’s that?” asked Kaname, having just recovered her composure.

“Sousuke and Teletha should know already.  San Antonio is also a huge Military Town.  We have four major installations here, along with a few lesser ones, and the NSA even has a signals intelligence center here.  If anyone so much as glimpses an M9, then we’re in serious trouble.”

Teletha nodded.  “He’s right, though the NSA facility is new to me.”

“It’s the year 2016.  A lot has happened lately.  I’ll try and get you guys caught up as we go, but I think Tenchi’s gonna be doing the majority of that.  He can best frame it for you guys.”

Tenchi nodded at that.  “I’ll try my best.”

“Regardless,” said Sousuke, “we must move right away.  As he said, there are a lot of military installations in this city, and the presence of an Armslave - even one using an ECS system, will not go unnoticed for long.”

“But first,” said Kaname as she noticed a woman with two trays coming over.

“Okay, you had a Whataburger all the way, with medium fries, and a Double Whatburger, also with fries, and a Junior Whataburger with onion rings.  Any ketchup or other sauces?”

“Try the Spicy Ketchup,” I said.  “It’s a favorite of a lot of people here.”

“How hot is it?” asked Kaname.

“Just a little,” said the lady.  “He’s right about it being popular, though.  We even sell it at the local grocery stores.”

“Okay, if it’s that popular, then it’s gotta be good,” said Kaname.  “Let me try one.”
Kaname opened up the wrapping on her burger with an eager smile on her face, and with an ‘Itadakimase!’ she bit in.

Her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head.

“Oh.  Oh yes.  This.  I have missed this so much.  Thank you, Whataburger!”

##

1:15 PM

Before they went back to the apartment complex, Benjamin did a quick round of what he called ‘The Box’ - the convergence of highways that boxed in the Downtown area - and kept to the upper-decks where the highways became bi-level.

Kaname declared San Antonio to be rather small for a major metropolitan, but pleasant.

On the way home, though, Ben noticed one of San Antonio’s more interesting quirks was at play as they approached the Highway 90 and State Route 151 Interchange.

“Hey, everyone!  Eye’s up!  The fighter pilot trainees are out and about in their T-38 Talons!”

Indeed, there they were up ahead, on approach to practice their touch-and-goes, passing over the expressway.

“Those are trainers?” said Kaname.  “But they look so much like actual fighter jets.”

“That’s the idea,” said Teletha.  “Only something that is built like a fighter jet is going to have the flight characteristics of one.  The T-38’s are good at what they do.  Simple, uncomplicated, but very much capable.  They were the first super-sonic trainers in the world.”

Benjamin nodded.  “That they are.  In fact, they’re so good that the Air Force is looking into a modernization program to extend their lifespans.”

Sousuke made a noise of approval.  “Indeed.  In the world of Armslaves, the main concerns are not only other armslaves, but ground attack aircraft.  It’s interesting to see them training for once.”

“They even train on the F-16’s out here as well,” said Ben.

“Indeed.  That’s not a particularly fast fighter, but its agility make it formidable, even in a ground attack role.”

“Even I must admit,” said Washu from the back, “despite the relatively primitive technology, those are some very well engineered machines.  It’s interesting to see them in action.

“They are rather graceful, aren’t they?” said Ayeka.

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘cool’,” countered Ryoko playfully, “but I guess that works, too.”

##

“Ah, Ben?”

“Yes Miss Chidori?”

“Just Kaname is fine.  This neighborhood looks pretty... rough.”

“It’s getting better.  When everything got started, the apartment complex I’m running had a bunch of squatters there.  Mostly local thugs and homeless people.  But now that we’re in there and the place is fixed up, it’s slowly getting better.  I also hear they’re gonna demolish all those empty and dilapidated store fronts out there and put in something nice.”

“That’s a relief then.”

Ben easily navigated his way through the back roads of the neighborhood, and soon drove the van in through the back entrance of the apartment complex.

Ben and Washu hadn't been idling around very much once everyone had gotten settled in.  Using a small army of construction drones, the curb around the entire complex had been rebuilt and a proper sidewalk added.  While the front face of the complex had been left wide open, a gated entry had been put in the main entrance with an electronic directory so guests could be buzzed in by the tenants.

A tall, imposing, black wrought iron fence at a staggering twelve feet tall had been put in, extending from the southeast corner of the building to the sidewalk, and then along the sidewalk to the back entrance.  There, a set of gates was situated - an entrance and an exit that both swung open.  The entrance had only a keypad with no directory.  This was only in case anyone lost their key fob and had to use the entry code instead.

"Well, at least your security looks decent," said Kaname appreciatively.

Ben nodded as he drove through the entrance gate.  "I felt it was only prudent."

“Oh, it’s so beautiful here!” said Teletha in surprise as everyone took in the pristine courtyard full of palm trees, flower beds, song birds, and the glimmering swimming pool.

“We certainly couldn’t have done it without Belldandy’s help,” said Ben with a smile.  “Let’s go ahead and let you guys pick out a unit...  Uhm, would you three be alright with sharing a unit?”

“Whhaaaa?” said Kaname in surprise.

“Easy, easy,” said Ben placatingly.  “It will be a two-bedroom unit, and the bedrooms are big and well insulated.”

“Why only two?” asked Kaname.  “Don’t you have any three bedroom units?”

“We do,” said Ben, “but while the master bedroom is decently sized, the second bedroom is an odd shape and the third...  is tiny.”

“How tiny?” asked Kaname.

“Barely more than two tatami by your reckoning.”

“Yeeeeeee,” said Kaname in surprise.

“It’s alright, Kaname,” said Teletha, trying to comfort her fellow Whispered.  “I know that you and I can share a bedroom with no problem.”

Kaname sighed.  “Well, I might as well look.  They better be nice.”

“Oh, they are,” said Ben with a smile as he led them to an apartment, leaving Tenchi and the others to get their shopping bags from the van.

He unlocked a door and led the two inside.

“It... feels nice in here!” said Kaname in surprise.

“How can you afford to keep the air conditioning running like this?” asked Teletha.

“We’re using a solar-fired evaporative system.  Not the most efficient way to do things, but since it’s all solar, there’s no issue.  And sunny days here tend to be the rule.  Besides, it’s when it’s sunny outside when you need the air conditioning the most.”

“That’s remarkable!” said Teletha happily.  “So we can make it as cold as we want to in here?  And it won’t affect anything?”

“Not a thing!” replied Ben with a grin.

“It’s pretty big in here,” said Kaname as she took in the space.  “I can’t imagine how much something like this might have gone for back home.  And you said this is a two-bedroom unit?”

“Yep.  Let’s show you the kitchen first.  So, first off, you guys have a pair of gas-fired convection ovens with a gas range top.  All very clean and efficient.  The vent hood works - actually vents to the outside - and above it you have a high efficiency microwave oven.

“The refrigerator is a bottom pull-out freezer chest, with a double-door refrigerator on top.  There’s also a door-within-door feature for quick access the the in-door shelves, and there’s an ice and chilled water dispenser on the other door.

“You have a trash compactor for the recyclables.  There’s no presort requirement, and there’s a list of what is considered recyclable here.  It’s actually a pretty broad list - you can even recycle plastic bags and Styrofoam containers.

“We also have a composting program here in San Antonio, so anything organic that breaks down quickly can be dumped in this little green garbage can under the sink,” said Ben as he opened the cabinet door to show two small trash bins inside.  “The green one is compost.  The black one is for all other trash.  You can empty the compost into the large green trash can outside.  The small green dumpster out there is for the recyclables, and the black one is for all other trash.

“We do have a hazardous waste program for things like batteries and fluorescent lamps with mercury, but there is no pick-up for those items.  But I’ll handle that part.  You can safely put stuff like that in the yellow trash can outside.

“You also have an in-sink disposal unit.  You can us that for organics that you don’t usually compost, like fat trimmings.  There’s also a dishwasher machine that will help you make short work of the dishes.”

“Hey, what’s this?” said Kaname.  “Is this...  A LAUNDRY MACHINE!?”

“Yup.  It’s a two-in-one unit with a condensing dryer function.  You can throw a load of laundry in there, set the program, and it will automatically kick over from the wash cycle to the dry cycle.  It’s heated using gas, so it does the job real quickly.”

“You said it was a condensing dryer though,” said Teletha.  “How much water does it use for the heat exchanger?”

“Not as much as you’re thinking.  It uses an air-to-air heat exchanger using outside air.”

“Oh, how wonderful!” replied Teletha.  “But it is a bit small.”

“We got a little laundromat with bigger machines - two of them are even big enough to handle a single futon if you ever need to get one deep-cleaned.”

Kaname’s eyes widened.  “That’s...  That’s really nice!”

“Ain’t it?” said Ben with a smile.  “Next up, bathroom.”

“You said it’s Japanese style?” asked Teletha.

“Yeah,” replied Ben as he led them over to that part of the apartment.  “Now, don’t wig out over this, but I had some very pleasant experiences with love hotels in Japan and how nice the bathrooms were there.  So, I felt that the residents here deserve nothing less.”

Kaname and Teletha were agog when he showed her the space.  All nice tile, with sleek modern fixtures.  The remote shower head could be mounted high or low so it could be used while sitting or standing, and the bathtub facet was one of the nicer ones with a timer mechanism that automatically shuts off the water.

“All this for us!?  What the hell, are you made of money or something?”

“Nah,” said Ben with a smile.  “I just have some very powerful backers.  Remember I mentioned the Goddesses and Demons?  This thing is so big that they’re setting their differences aside.”

“Ah, right,” said Kaname sheepishly.  “So, what about these bedrooms?”

Ben smiled and led them into one of them.

“Wow, not bad at all!  This has to be like eight tatami in here.”

Ben shrugged.  "Really more like seven and a half, but there's no way you can get an auspicious pattern in a perfect square out of that number.  Anyhow, you even got plenty of closet space here,” said Ben as he  showed them the wide closet, and then the built-in drawers and storage cabinet.

“Okay,” said Kaname.  “And you said they’re well insulated?”

“Yeah, Belldandy went a little overboard when I asked for soundproofing and blast resistance charms.  You can literally set off a pipe bomb in the next bedroom and you’ll hardly hear a thing.

“Okay, I’m sold.  But...” she then looked around.  There was a futon and a desk.  And the dining area had a table and chairs.  But other than that, there was nothing else.

“It’s alright,” said Ben.  “Part of the backing that I get is for getting you guys set up.  If you two are up for it, I we can head on out now to take care of that.”

“That’d be great and it’d give us something to do.  You up for it, Sousuke?”

“That would be very agreeable to me.”

“Alright,” said Ben with a clap of his hands.  “We’ll take the Super Beast - we’re gonna need it for the bigger things.”

##

“Okay guys, this is probably gonna wig you out a bit, but I need to show you this just so you know this particular creature comfort exists.”

Benjamin then opened the door to what had been the old manager’s office...

...And led them into what was unmistakably the lobby area for an onsen.

“YOU HAVE AN ONSEN HERE!?” cried out Kaname in shock.

“But how?” said Teletha.  “This lobby by itself is bigger than the building... unless... Washu did it?”

Ben shrugged.  “It was more of Ryoko’s doing.  Say what you will about her, she definitely knows what’s needed to kick back and relax.  NOW, Features!  You will notice that there are three bathing areas and they are clearly labeled.  There’s even indicators to show that they occupied, so you know beforehand that there’s someone there.  I also had Washu-chan make sure that system was relatively fool proof - you’d have to actively tamper with the system, and at that point we’d know about it because malfunctions trigger an alarm to go off.”

“Why the mixed-gender family bath?” asked Kaname.

“We don’t know who we’re gonna get in the future, so I felt it was better to be safe than sorry.”  He then sighed.  “Or, you know, maybe I might find someone special.  Once pigs learn to fly, anyways.”

Kaname gave me a somewhat sympathetic look.  “Can’t be that bad, can it?”

“The last time I had a girlfriend was back in February 2011.  It’s October 2016 now.”

Kaname cringed as she reared back.  “HOW!?  I mean, you seem like such a great guy!  How can you NOT have a girlfriend!?”

Ben sighed at that.  “Like I’ve said before, life’s been real shitty to me.  But enough about my problems, that’s not something I want you guys to be burdened with.  Let’s go ahead and talk to Washu about scouting around some to see if anyone else might have arrived.  Then we’ll see about getting everything you need so you guys can get settled in.”

##

They quickly made deed to word, and by the time they got to Washu’s lab (further wowing Kaname, Teletha, and Sousuke) she already had several drones up in the air looking for heat signatures that would imply a mecha of some kind.

“It’s kinda tricky working around the airfields here,” said Washu as she typed command lines into a console session.  “Fortunately, though, most of those are in highly urbanized areas of town.  But even so, San Antonio is certainly not Japan - the roads here may be wider, but they carry far more traffic since they don’t even have light rail here.  So that’s a lot more prying eyes I need to avoid.”

“How do you guys manage without trains?” asked Kaname.

I shrugged.  “Everyone that can afford it just drives cars.  And sometimes the traffic is just as heinous as you think it is.  Especially in the areas where they’re working on the highway upgrades.  But once those are finished up, things should flow a lot more smoothly.

“Oh, by the way, once things settle in a bit more around here I’m going to be teaching people how to drive.  Sousuke, can you manage a stick shift?”

“Affirmative.”

“Good.  Just to be safe, though, I’ll show you the methodology my stepdad used to teach me, then there will be two of us that can teach others to drive.”

“How many vehicles do you have that use an automatic transmission?”

“Just the passenger van so far.  I got lucky with Super Beast being Manual everything through and through.  Soon enough I’m gonna go on a spree buying up old cars and fixing them up, and I want most of them to be stick shift.  The only automatics I’ll take are the ones that are metaphorically bullet proof.”

“Understandable.  That is part of why I have always appreciated the first generation Savage.  A well thought out machine for its time, though the cooling system left something to be desired.”

“You guys don’t need to hang around,” said Washu.  “Even with my network of drones, it’s going to take a while.  I’m not only searching the city, but also all the surrounding counties up to fifty miles out.  But if they’re out there, I’ll find them, and you guys will be the first to know right after me.”

“Thanks Washu-chan,” said Ben.  “Well, you heard the pint-sized super-genius.  No need to crowd her.  Let’s go and get you guys kitted out.”

##

From there, it was more of the same.  Kaname was shocked that there was a legitimate Japanese grocery store, and at Ben’s urging stocked up on everything she’d need for the kitchen, because Kaname actually liked to cook.  Along with basic staples like rice and soba noodles, Kaname even picked out a good selection of snack foods, seasoning, sauces, teas, and even a few calpis drinks.

Then it was off to Walmart for electronics, lamps, furnishings, and basic clothes.  Superbeast’s cargo bed was quickly filled.  Though Ben had to drag Sousuke away from the sporting goods section.

“We have much better places to shop for those kinds of things,” he said as he tugged the young soldier away from the sporting goods.

Lastly, there was HEB for the food, toiletries, and household cleaning supplies.  The three were duly impressed by the wide array of food - between that and Minano’s, Kaname stated that she would be hard pressed to get homesick over the food.

And then it was back home where Ben would help them get everything moved into their unit.

##

7:25 PM
Washu's Lab

“Got ‘em!” cried out Washu gleefully, though only to follow it up quickly with “Uh-oh.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Ben.

“Sousuke’s friends?  They’re up in Camp Bullis.”

“..... FUCK!” cried out Ben in alarm, setting the others on edge.  “Have they been captured or anything yet?”

“No, according the to the drone’s feed, they’re keeping pretty well hidden.  But that isn’t going to last long.  The Army knows something is up.  They got all the bases here on lock-down and they’re sending out scouting parties.  Looks like they’re trying to figure out what’s going on before someone goes off half-cocked.”

“Okay, enough dilly dallying then.  Washu-chan, we’ll need a radio set that-”

“Already ahead of you,” she said as she handed over a walkie-talkie.

“Encryption?”

“Same algorithm and key Sousuke’s friends are using.”

“How did you do that?” asked Sousuke.

“When you have five planets worth of quantum computing power, breaking even 256-bit encryption keys is a piece of cake.  Now, get going.  Ben knows the area better than you do.”

“Understood.  Mr. Rhodes, let’s not waste time.”

“Right.  We’ll take Superbeast again.  It’s not quite powerful enough to haul an armslave, but it’ll do for the sundries.  Washu-chan, get Ryoko for us, would you please?  We’ll need help getting the truck unloaded fast, and I think it’d be a good idea to have her along in case we need support.”

“Right.  She’s on her way down and will meet you at the truck.”
RE: [IC][Story] There's Nothing Better!
#28
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 20, 2016
2:34pm ET



For the second day in a row, they were doing research at the library, trying to figure out what had happened to them. He waved her over to the computer that he was using. "You need to see this."

"I don't think I need to see anything on a computer. That's your specialty."

"You need to see these Lycos search results." He showed her the screen.

"Sailor Moon... There's an anime about Sailor Moon?"

"And look here." He pointed at one line. "Tsukino-san... No, that has to be wrong. She can't be Sailor Moon."

"How did they know?" she asked in a shocked whisper.

"Are you telling me Tsukino-san really is Sailor Moon?"

"That's right. I figured that out a while ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't my secret to tell! Besides, I never asked whether I was right, and she never actually told me."

He cleared the search, and searched for his own name. A few minutes later, he was crying. "Comedy relief? Is that all I am?"

"Not to me." Naru took Umino's hand in her own and held it for a moment. Then she sat down beside him. "Can you show me how to make this search page work? I'll help you find her, or maybe some of our other friends."



"You two aren't thinking of leaving, are you?" Mayumi Osaka looked at the ravens sitting in the corner of the storeroom. "It's far too cold out there for you to survive."

"Caw!"

"That's good." It amused Mayumi to pretend to have a conversation with the birds while her daughters Naru and Naruru were out doing ... whatever it was they were doing. Probably shopping for Christmas presents. She wasn't about to chase the birds out of the building, even if it wasn't too cold outside for them to survive; they had been there first, after all. "Just don't hide any of my gems, please."

As she picked up a box of bracelets to take to the shop display floor, she thought that the ravens were looking at her with some amusement. It must have been her imagination. She stepped past the curtain and into the shop itself. "Perhaps one of these would be more appropriate as a gift for your friend, Mr. Donaldson."

As he looked through the selection, he half-distractedly asked, "Have you been open long? I don't remember there being a jewelry store here last year."

"Oh, we've only been open for a week now. We were lucky to get the lease for as low as we did, even if we aren't directly on Bank Street."

He smiled. "I remember when this used to be a coffee shop, a couple of decades ago. They're in the Byward Market now. I think you found a lucky place to set up shop, miss."

She laughed politely, her hand over her mouth. "Nobody's called me 'miss' since my older daughter was born."

"Oh! I think she'll like this one," he said, pointing to a silver bracelet with a wave design worked into the metal. "Sometimes I think she spends all her time in the water."

"She's a professional swimmer?"

"No, she'd a medical student. She loves swimming, though."

"Ah. Would you care for a gift box to go with the bracelet?"

"Yes, please. And, if you wouldn't mind, please put your shop's business card into the box."

Mayumi smiled. "Of course!"

Once the necessary business transaction was completed and Rob left the shop, turning on Fourth Avenue to walk back to Bank Street, his polite smile turned into a grin. Not only had he finally found a Christmas present for Ami, he'd also found one for Usagi - assuming Mayumi Osaka was a displacee. Considering she'd named her shop "OSA-P", Rob thought it was only a matter of time before he, and Usagi, had a chance to meet Naru.



Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 20, 2016
8:37pm ET



Mii was carefully taking the well-lit roads back from campus. She didn't want to run into another one of those ... things ... that had nearly killed her just after Halloween. She knew that, even if the strike force had been allowed to manage a 100% success rate in killing the sluagh in the Horde's stronghold last week, it was highly unlikely that all the sluagh in the area had been there. And even if they were, more would no doubt show up eventually from other cities.

She would have taken a bus home, but she wanted to do some window shopping along the way - and, if she was lucky, actually buy some gifts for her friends. She'd just have to trust her luck.

Unfortunately, her luck didn't hold. While looking down a side street, she saw one of ... those things ... approaching a young couple from behind. A quick look over the rims of her glasses showed that anyone else nearby could only see a human - but nobody else was nearby.

Mii really didn't want to be attacked again, but she wasn't about to let innocent people come to harm. "Hey! You!"

The sluagh turned to look at her jog toward it. So did the couple - teenagers, a boy with thick glasses and a girl with wavy hair.

"Yes, you!" Mii continued as she got her cellphone out and hit the speeddial button for Kuroko. "Why were you sneaking up on those two?"

"Mind your own business!"

Mii heard the line connect. "Hello?"

She spoke louder than before, to make sure Kuroko could hear her. "I am minding my own business! And I was at Calabogie last week!"

"You're one of them? DIE!" The sluagh dropped its mystic disguise and leapt at Mii.

The teenaged girl said "Oh, no, not again..." just before she fainted.

Mii dropped her phone and punched the sluagh, throwing it off-balance enough to miss attacking her. Spinning on one foot, Mii kicked the sluagh in the back.

It didn't go down.

"Oh, shi-" Mii's curse was cut short by a concrete cinder block falling from nowhere onto the sluagh's head. That was enough to knock it out.

"I apologize for taking so long to arrive," Kuroko said as she picked up Mii's phone and handed it to her.

Mii smiled. "I'd say your timing was just right." She turned to the teenagers, only to see the boy carrying the girl up the steps to one of the nearby shops. She raised her voice again. "Are you two okay?"

"We're getting out of your way!"

"Out of our way? Why?"

"Mii-sempai..." Mii turned back to Kuroko, then looked where she was pointing. "...would you happen to have any more concrete blocks?"

"Not with me, sorry."

"Then we have no choice but to kill all three of them."

"When did they start hunting in packs?"

"When haven't they?" Kuroko replied, then muttered under her breath, "They aren't running away."

"They're calling our bluff," Mii answered in the same voice. Out loud, she asked, "How many spikes do you have?"

Kuroko lifted her skirt with one hand and ran her other hand along the bandolier she had strapped to her thigh, teleporting the iron spikes into her hand. "Enough."

That was enough to get the sluaghs to run off, away from Bank Street and toward the river.

"We're going to have to deal with them eventually, you know."

"We should deal with them right now. They'll be easy to find if we act fast. Would you go get Sailor Moon, please? I'll see to the bystanders."

Kuroko nodded and teleported away.

As she walked over to the front of the shop where the boy was still watching, Mii said, "I think that's all of them for now. What did your friend mean by 'not again'?"

"When we were in Tokyo, Naru was always getting attacked by monsters. It's as if they were drawn to her. What were those things?"

"They're called sluagh. An acquaintance of mine told me that they're Fair Folk that were killed but didn't die completely."

"They're yokai that were turned into yurei?"

Mii thought for a moment. "I think so, yes."

"How did you see the first one? Are you a miko?"

"No, I'm an esper. But my glasses were a gift from a megami."

Just then, they heard from a distance the cry "Moon Healing Escalation!"

"An esper? You're a Newtype?"

Mii shook her head. "I'm not that sort of esper. Oh, but it looks like your friend - Naru - is waking up." She turned to the girl. "Are you all right, miss?"

"I'm okay, thank you. Are you all right? You were attacked instead of me."

"I'm fine. Your friend tells me your name is Naru. I'm Mii."

"And I'm Umino," the boy added. "Mii was saying that she's an esper."

"Like a Newtype?"

Mii giggled. "Maybe I should ask for a giant mecha. No, I'm not that kind of esper." She noticed a movement on the sidewalk, then picked up her phone. "You'd better hurry up; the one we knocked out is starting to wake up."

A second later, Kuroko appeared, holding Sailor Moon's arm. "Over there."

"Moon Healing Escalation!"

Naru looked up. "It's her. It's really her. USAGI!"

"Naru! What are you doing here? And Umino! Oh, but... I'm not-"

Mii laughed. "It's too late to deny it now, Tsukino-san."



Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 21, 2016
1:06pm ET



"How often do things like this happen to you, Mr. Donaldson?"

Rob smiled at Naru's question. "Today was the first time I've ever been to a different dimension, Ms. Osaka, but it does seem like strange things happen to me and my guests on a regular basis. You should ask Sailor Jupiter about the time she fought a Predator one-on-one some time. Why do you ask?"

Naru went pale at the thought of going up against a Predator. "I was thinking of asking whether I could move in with you. But I think I'll stay with Mama and Naruru and Umino for now."

"That's probably for the best."
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown


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