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Movie Review: Gamer
Movie Review: Gamer
#1
"Gamer" marks the first movie I've ever seen that makes me want to puke so badly that I simply must recommend everybody go see it.

Yes, you read that correctly.

My wife and I came up with a one-sentence summary: it's as if an art noveau social commentary had a high-speed collision with a sci-fi action flick, with
JP Morgan as financier. The movie is not only contrived, it is pointedly so. It revels in its plot's mediocrity.

The basic premise is that the digital MMO has been replaced by flesh-and-blood ones. Players control i-cons (short for Interactive Convicts, one assumes, ha,
ha.) from the comfort of their living rooms. The icons die in gruesome and suitably explody ways. It is, in other words, a live-action first-person-shooter.
That's called 'Slayer', and is the most popular game in the world, evar, OMG. Our Hero 'Kable' (Gerard Butler, last notably seen in 300 as
King Leonidas) is the current record holder. You see, if an i-con surivves thirty rounds, he is set free. His player 'Simon' enjoys rock-star status
due to the proficiency with which he makes Kable perform.

Now this is strictly B-movie fare, and I think everyone will have recognized that by now. They could have made a decent B-movie with that alone. But they
didn't. Instead, you are treated to the metaphorical equivalent of two hours of the director (or writer, or whomever) dick-slapping you on the back of the
head, asking "DO YOU GET IT? HUH? DO YOU SEE YOURSELF UP THERE, YOU SICK FUCK?".

And somehow this utter jerk makes it not only palatable, but enjoyable on some levels.

To go into the real plot of the movie -- which is distinct from but closely related to the plot described above, like the offspring of incestous siblings --
would be to engage in massive spoilerisms. Suffice it to say that if you play MMOs -- or first-person shooters -- you will see something of yourself up there.
The movie consciously and deliberately apes every aspect of online gamer culture -- every negative aspect, that is -- and does it so well, and so obscenely,
that you can't help but come away admiring the craftsmanship with which they built this house of utter fail.

Pros:

* Good action bits

* The characters will seem familiar to you from moment one -- tropers, have fun

* The actors -- the majority of them, anyway -- turn in first-rate performances. Amazingly, given the glurge they're forced to work with, they make it
seem all too disturbingly real. And said glurge feels too deliberate to be anything but.

Cons:

* So many boobs that not only do they lose impact, they become boring. As usual with this flick, the director took the device that little bit too far into
disturbia.

* Yes, we know you're trying to make a point, Mr. Director, but must we so joyously fling poo while we're at it?

* (Spoiler) Nanotechnology. Seriously? C'mon.

Recommendation: See it. This is the first movie this year that I've seen that actually made me think. I can't say I enjoyed it, but it was $9
well-spent and I'm considering buying it.

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs
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