Drunkard's Walk Forums - The Forum Competition

Unofficial: Shakespearean pop culture

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 12:21:38 -0500

Give us a passage that could have come from a work of 20th or 21st century pop culture, if only the passage wasn't in iambic pentameter and concluding with a rhyming couplet.

For example:

Tyler:
For first, thou dost not talk of our Fight Club.
Second, thou dost not talk of our Fight Club!
Now let you be about your varied tasks
To kill all the lawyers is all we ask.

Unofficial: British understatement

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 18:15:37 -0500

Give us a line that demonstrates the stereotypical British tendency toward understatement. The funnier, the better.

Since he's in the Public Domain now, I'll give a couple of examples that could come from Winnie-the-Pooh:

"Bother," said Pooh, as the election results came in.

"Bother," said Pooh, as he saw the price of hunny.

"Bother," said Pooh, as the Martian tripod advanced on the Hundred Aker Wood.

Something like that. I'm sure other folks here can do better -- those are all appropriate, but not particularly funny.

Unofficial: The first line sets up the story

Tue, 16 May 2023 18:27:05 -0500

To get a story going, you need the audience to bite that hook. Dangle some bait for me!

example Wrote:"Well that's unusually polite for a summoning," [character] said, looking down at the magic circle that included an explanation of its purpose spinning around the edge and an actual progress bar and timer ticking down to when it would activate.

Remember, the goal is a first line, not a complete story prompt. Don't try to pack in too much or you'll sound like the blurb at the beginning of a comic book. The goal is to draw the reader in, not slap them with a sockful of gravel and drag them aboard while they're stunned!

bad example Wrote:Seized by a press gang and taken to sea, [character] was freed when the crew mutinied against their cruel captain, but now guilty by association, [pronoun] must try to find a place in this harsh new life!

I guess you can go as much as a short paragraph if you need to, for the sake of avoiding run on sentences. Powers know I have enough trouble with that without having them incentivized.

example Wrote:[character] sat listening to the sounds pf nature. The rock was warm, and the sunset was beautiful. "It's finally over,' [pronoun] sighed.

Right line, Wrong work

Thu, 27 Jan 2022 09:46:11 -0500

Take a famous line - one that (almost) everybody knows. Then attribute it to a different work (real or fictional) that it could have come from.

For example:

"Marley was dead: to begin with." - A History of Modern Reggae

Or:

"There's no place like home." - Field of Dreams

Unofficial Competition: Truthful but Misleading

Sat, 31 Oct 2020 11:18:45 -0500

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with a Truthful but Misleading description of a famous work, preferably in a single sentence. You are not allowed to lie about the content of the work, but the description has to give a completely wrong idea about the story. Put the name of the work in a spoiler tag after the description, so that we can try guessing what work you've described misleadingly.

As examples, here are descriptions about two films:

Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets, then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.

Spoiler

Bedridden girl's invisible friend remodels her room and turns heads.

Spoiler

EDIT: I included sources for the lines in the spoilers because neither of these is original to me. You don't have to include a source when you make up your own entry.

Have fun!

A slight change in plans

Thu, 09 Jan 2020 08:26:23 -0500

Originally I intended for the Competitions in this forum to run for about two weeks, then close, after which I'd judge a winner. And while I tried to do that for the first couple, we really don't have the volume of responses that would make that really the best plan. And Things have been happening since I started the Competitions that led me to forget or postpone ending the competitions anyway.

So I've decided, every competition is going to remain open to encourage the creative energies of the board members in perpetuity. Since there was about as much substance to the award for winning a competition as there was to a Marvel No-Prize, I'm sure that no one will be too upset about there no longer being proper winners.

Of course, if there is disagreement, please feel free to let me know.

Competition #5: The Kangaroo Joke

Thu, 09 Jan 2020 08:08:18 -0500

Competition #5: The Kangaroo Joke

Quote:A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a vodka martini. The bartender gives the kangaroo his drink and the kangaroo gives him a $10 bill.

The bartender figures kangaroos don't know anything about money and only gives him $2 back in change, then says, "We don't get many kangaroos in here."

The kangaroo says, "And at eight bucks for a martini you're not going to see very many more!" and walks out.

Above, the Kangaroo Joke. Competitors are invited to retell this joke in the style of a genre, author or famous celebrity.

Competition #4: Silly Definitions "S"

Wed, 11 Dec 2019 19:34:25 -0500

Competition #4: Silly Definitions "S"

Quote:STRUMPET: (noun) A brass musical instrument with a flared bell, three valves, and fretted strings.

Above, an extract from our fractured dictionary. Competitors are asked to invent a suitably silly redefinition for an existing word that begins with "S".

Competition #3: They Fight Crime!

Wed, 13 Nov 2019 18:58:23 -0500

Another one courtesy of Rob Kelk:

Competition #3: They Fight Crime!

Quote:He's a human who turns into a duck when splashed with cold water.
She's a duck who turns into a human with a special necklace.
They fight crime!

Above, an elevator pitch for a crossover buddy-cop-style series. Competitors are asked to provide an unexpected or unlikely pairing of two characters from anywhere in fiction or history as a crimefighting team. Explanatory glosses welcome but not required.

Competition #2: Quotes In Discussion

Wed, 09 Oct 2019 07:13:17 -0500

And this one is courtesy of Rob Kelk, who suggested it to me a couple days ago in a private message.

Competition #2: Quotes In Discussion

Quote:Winter is coming.
The cold never bothered me anyway.

Above, conversing quotations. Competitors are asked to provide two famous quotes that when put together sound like two successive lines in a conversation.

For love or monkey!

Mon, 07 Oct 2019 02:48:45 -0500

Replace the word ‘Money’ in a movie title with ‘Monkey.’ Which movie is the most immediately improved?

I'm waffling between "Monkeyball" and "The Monkey Pit" myself.

(Yes, this is shamelessly stolen form a Twitter post, but meh, it's a different group here.)

Competition #1: What I Should Have Said/What I Said

Wed, 25 Sep 2019 18:22:31 -0500

The reason I've taken so long to start up the Forum Competition is that I couldn't decide what challenge to start with. So I gave up and went with an old favorite, the example for which some of you might have seen in the thread where I first discussed the competition. So, may I please bring you:

Competition #1: What I Should Have Said/What I Said

1. “Look, there’s a lot of traffic, and he’s probably stuck in a meeting all day and didn’t get your message, or he’d have called. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.”
2. “Maybe he’s dead.”

Above, esprit d'escalier striking with a vengeance. Competitors are invited to contribute a thoughtful, well-composed comment... and what you actually said instead.

The Forum Competition

Wed, 25 Sep 2019 18:15:12 -0500

Inspired by (hell, practically copied wholesale from) [url=http://nymag.com/tags/new-york-magazine-competition/]the New York Magazine Competition[/ur], this forum hosts what I intend to be biweekly challenges which will take wit, cleverness and occasionally a twisted sense of humor.

The format will be simple: I will start a new thread with the name of the competition, a sample, and a brief explanation of what the challenge is. Forum members make their submissions by posting them to the thread, and eventually we will decide whose entry was best. Feel free to make more than one entry; I'm not going to lock people down to one idea and force you to pick when you have multiple inspirations.

The original competition offered, if I recall correctly, a year's subscription to New York Magazine as the prize for winning. I don't have anything offer except eternal fame and glory among the few hundred people who read the boards.

That said, let us be off!