Fun Fair by Shayne Dark (Ottawa, Canada) Copyright (C) 2004, by Shayne Dark This was a written as a lark - I have always been a fan of the very silly Batroc the Leaper - and wanted to use him in a light encounter. It also gave me a chance to vocalize Thibor's thoughts on costumed supervillain types. One departure in 'world history' from the Bloody Roar game is that Yugo is not a zoothrope, but rather a hereditary werewolf, the son of Thibor's late younger brother. Plymouth Fun Fair: Great Britain "Some days am loving the job." Thibor grinned happily as a trio of throwing knives bounced off his chest. A dozen feet away the knife thrower's eyes widened behind his executioner's hood. Zaran, master of weapons, the lesser third of Batrok the Leaper's little gang. "Keel zem! Why aren't you keeling zem?" The outrageous French accent passed over Thibor's head. "Zey are only IST peegs!" The day had not started well. Around noon Uriko had bounced into the office waving a paper in her hand. Kitten Little's return to schooling had been epic to say the least and her essay on spending her summer as an IST team member had earned her top marks. Thibor suspected that the photos of their beach vacation had helped. It had also earned her a choice of activities, a promise Thibor didn't remember making. However, both Yugo and Alice backed up Uriko's claim, which meant that it was a setup. Yugo knew there was nothing wrong with Thibor's memory, but convincing Alice that he had said it was easier than arguing with his uncle. Fortunately fate, or rather Cammy had intervened and suggested that due to it being Saturday, a break might well be in order. This had been fortunate in that Thibor was giving serious consideration to folding Yugo in half and filing him under W in the lower drawer of the cabinet. Suddenly put onto the spot, Uriko had begun an epic single-breath monologue on what she would like to do, switching from one possibility to another with chaotic abandon. Perhaps McDonaldsArcadeShoppingPizza was a place, but he hadn't heard of it, and wouldn't be disposed to visit it if did exist. It was then Cammy mentioned the Plymouth Fun Fair, a carnival being organized by Comic Relief - the red nose crew - in aid of poverty. It could have been much worse. Rather than the calculated money machine of most theme parks, the Fun Fair was a more chaotic assembly of hastily assembled, inherently dangerous rides, crooked, but well meaning games, and genuinely dedicated people. It hadn't been bad at all. Alice and Yugo had vanished halfway through the excursion for reasons unknown to the others but all too apparent to Thibor. Uriko was happily bouncing from attraction to attraction, dragging Kenji along with her. Her arms were laden with stuffed animals, a tribute to the effectiveness of Kenji's ninja talents against lesser opponents - the dart and ring toss games respectively. Cammy was obviously pleased to be out of the office and was enjoying the bustle of the crowd and the pleasure Uriko showed at the fair. Even better, her proximity to Thibor masked the often unpleasant odors of the fair with the smell of clean wool, nice shampoo and English Rose perfume. Then the situation went from pleasant to wonderful. The pavilion stage, host to a variety of musical acts, had erupted in screams. The clear plexiglass repository into which all the raised funds were poured had been cracked open and a trio of oddly costumed thieves were stuffing the pound notes into huge cloth sacks. It was like something out of a comic book. To make matters even more entertaining, the thieves were a known and decidedly European commodity. French Savate expert Batroc the Leaper and his gang, Machete, the Central American knife fighter and Zaran, Teutonic Master of Weapons. It was reassuring in a way. If you spent enough time dealing with epic threats to the world, it was easy to forget that there were still idiots in silly costumes feeding their egos by staging elaborate, stupid, public thefts. The money bags were lying forgotten on the stage. Machete had fled to the House of Mirrors with Kenji and Uriko in hot pursuit. Cammy was matching Batroc leap for leap as they fought atop the carnival tents and Zaran was slowly backing away from Thibor, his wicked looking pike shaking slightly in his gloved hands. It wasn't fair. Okay, that was an over-simplification. It was a fair, but it wasn't particularly fair. Without silver, there was precious little Zaran could do against Thibor. Good. "Die!" The pike stabbed forward. While he might look like an extra from one of the naughtier Hammer films, Zaran did know what he was doing and the thrust was aimed at Thibor's eyes, in hope that the werewolf would flinch away. If Zaran could back Thibor up, he might get a chance to grab a hostage in hopes of negotiating an escape. An excellent strategy, with a single flaw, the werewolf wasn't about to give him the chance to do it. Thibor swayed, letting the pike move past his face and grabbed Zaran by the ankle, easily hoisting the six foot tall man into the air and holding him dangling above the ground. A stream of German profanity began as Thibor walked him over to the tall, lit tower of the strength testing hammer game. As Zaran struggled to break the werewolf's grip, Thibor tossed a few coins to the attendant and waved off the offer of the hammer. It would be poor form to take Cammy to the fair and not win her some sort of stuffed gonk as a souvenir of the visit. Clang! The bell atop the tower rang clearly as the metal weight impacted with it. Thibor nodded in satisfaction, noting that Zaran was still trying feebly to escape. The bell rang twice more before Thibor was satisfied that the German was out of the fight for good. He quickly secured the villain and then collected a large stuffed Garfield from the attendant. * * * "You veel stop chasing me!" Batroc cried out as Cammy pursued him. "No teen-see woman can do zee leaps like Batroc." "Oh do get over yourself." Cammy's kick caught the French villain in the small of his back, sending him crashing to the ground. "Non! Non! Eet ees Batroc who ees supeereeor" Batroc hopped back to his feet, his eyes darting left and right. His wide, gallic features broke into a smile and he flipped into the Camelot Bouncy Castle. "Follow me to zee doom zat awaits inside zee boun-zee castle." "Have it your way." Cammy followed a second behind. "But I should warn you that if you insist on dressing like a piņata, I will be reluctantly forced to treat you as such." "I am non pee-nata you seely eengleesh girl." Batroc crowed, bouncing from wall to wall like a deranged superball. "I am Batroc Zee Lee-per. Master of zee art of Savate and I veel teach you about zee agony as I pummel you wit zee feet." "So let me be quite sure I understand this." Cammy's face broke into a smile. "You are Batroc the Leper and you are about to show me the agony of your feet." "Non! I am zee Lee-per not zee leper and I am going to show you zee agony with Zee Feet! Seely girl. Zee Feet!" Batroc shouted back. "Three feet? You don't have three feet." Cammy frowned in false confusion. "Did one fall off?" "Non! Non! Non! Zeese feet!" Enraged beyond reason, Batroc bounced off a fall and flew towards Cammy in an extended, ill- advised jumping kick. Rather than leap out of the way, Cammy met the attack head on, turning to the side and thrusting out with a high stamping kick that brought her head out of line while simultaneously slamming her booted foot into Batroc's groin with crushing force. The French villain folded up and fell to the floor, cradling the injured area and making small, pained, gallic noises in the back of his throat. "Cheese feet? Well no matter now." Cammy wasted no time in flipping Batroc over and immobilized his arms and legs with restraints. She paused. She didn't normally taunt villains in such a manner. Someone was being a rather poor influence on her. * * * * "Whah!" Uriko wailed as she pelted through the Hall of Mirrors. She ran full tilt into a full length mirror and fell backwards, bouncing twice on her backside as she hit the floor. It wasn't fair. The greasy looking bad guy was throwing knives at her and she couldn't tell which ones were reflections and which ones were real, so she just dodged everything. Kenji had disappeared too, and she didn't know whether or not what's his name, Machete, had gotten him. She could see the villain moving around her, his garish green fatigues reflected multiple times in the mirrors. Which one was real? Uriko jumped back to her feet and dropped back down again as a brace of throwing knives flew in her direction, shattering the mirror behind her and embedding themselves in the plywood walls. "That's it!" Uriko shouted. She knew what to do, it was just like that old kung-fu film she had seen last week. All she had to do was break all the mirrors and she would be able to tell which one was the real Machete. "Ya-tah!" Uriko cried out in the triumph of realization and pivoted, punching at the first green clad figure she saw. Break the mirrors and she could get the bad guy. "Ow!" Machete's nose broke with an audible crack and twin gouts of blood shot out of his nostrils. "Gomenasai!" Uriko's eyes widened as she realized she had actually hit him. She shook her head from side to side. She was supposed to hit him, but hadn't expected to be immediately successful. Machete took advantage of her momentary pause to grab at her. Uriko ducked in time, but Machete's hand closed around her long ponytail. He twisted it around his wrist and yanked hard, bringing Uriko up against his chest. Before she could react the razor edge of his signature weapon pressed against her throat. "You will come with me." He rasped nasally as he dragged her towards the exit. "You will all listen." Machete appeared at the entrance of the Hall of Mirrors. He stepped onto the straw strewn ground. "You will release my revolutionary compatriots and let us escape or the girl will be killed and her blood will be on your hands!" "Don't hurt her." Cammy said carefully, shaking her head slightly as Thibor tensed to attack. "You will ready a plane for us." Machete's voice grew even more nasal as his nose continued to swell. "Uriko, are you okay?" Cammy asked. "No!" She called back. "He's bleeding all over me! Gross!" "Shut up!" Machete pressed the blade closer. "You will do as I say." "Okay! Okay!" Thibor's nostril's flared and he winked at Cammy. "Will do it. Just relax. How about helicopter? Can come right here and take you to airport. Is enough space for you, hostage, and friends. Be about ten minutes to arrive." "Bueno." Machete's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He watched intently as Thibor pulled out a communicator and began relaying instructions. A smile crossed Machete's features and his grip on Uriko loosened slightly, the blade moving away from her throat. "Is done." Thibor closed his communicator. If you look to west you can see helicopter." Machete turned and then disappeared as if sucked into the ground. Uriko was pulled backwards, down to the ground her long ponytail disappearing into the dark hole that had suddenly appeared where Machete had been standing. "Whah!" Uriko struggled, kicking her legs in the air. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Make him let go of my hair!" Suddenly she sat up, dragging her pony tail out of the ground. "Kenji." Cammy noted. She glanced over at Thibor, whose features were regularly scrunching up in a variety of winces and sympathetic shudders. "Is everything under control." "No." Thibor suddenly grinned. "Not for him. Kenji was very upset that Uriko was threatened when under his watch, but has found adequate outlet for emotional release.