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| 2016-09-12 ff.: Vignettes |
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Posted by: robkelk - 12-14-2024, 05:13 PM - Forum: Stories
- Replies (3)
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There comes a time in every shared universe where the writers run out of stories that are ready to be posted.
Well, the KanriKyaraProject publishable-story buffer has run dry. (We have more, but nothing's ready to release yet.) Here are a few short scenes that even we couldn't turn into entire stories. Yet. Some of these are just for fun; others are canon for the setting... and we aren't going to tell you which is which until something is actually used in a story, nor do we guarantee that the ones that do happen will take place on the dates given here.
Vignettes
A collection of incidental bits, scenelets, short-shorts
and the occasional really bad joke
set in the world of KanriKyara
by Dartz, Rob Kelk, Brent Laabs and Robert M. Schroeck
Vignettes: 2016
September 2016
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Monday, September 12, 2016
Chris still hated Mondays.
Not quite as much as he had in the mid-1990s -- none of the full-fledged, berserker rage, must kill kind of hate he'd had for them in his youth (marriage and the passage of time had mellowed him somewhat over the past twenty years or so, after all) -- but even though he didn't have to make an 8:30 staff meeting any more, he still woke up on the day after Sunday expecting the worst.
He usually wasn't disappointed.
Still, this particular Monday hadn't been too bad, and he'd gotten through to dinnertime without too much in the way of a disaster. With work done, the odds of something going wrong went way down, and he could relax somewhat. His cooking repertoire had expanded somewhat over the past twenty years, but he still had his favorites. Pasta was one of them, and being as it was his turn to cook anyway, he had begun preparing a batch to celebrate getting through the start of another week.
When the black-haired girl erupted from the steaming pot, he was seized by a profound sense of "someone's screwing with me." That, and deja vu.
After all, he'd written this scene in 1996.
At least she didn't fall on top of him, scream, and hammer him into unconsciousness.
But what she did next was almost as disturbing. As he backed off warily, she slowly touched down onto the floor in front of the range, then bowed to him. "Christopher Angel," Skuld said -- and he could almost hear the unspoken "nii-chan!" behind his name -- "Heaven has need of you."
Gulfside Rest
Pensacola Beach, Florida, USA
September 25, 2016
"Why do you need bicycles?"
"Because it's three and a half miles to the closest ice cream shop. Or to any place else to buy anything around here." Asuka Soryu sighed deeply. "All the places we could have ended up, and we get stuck in a bedroom community."
Harley Waters grinned. "That sounds to me like a reason to get a real bike, see more of the world than just the beach in our front yard."
"We're too young to get motorcycle licenses," Hikari Horaki pointed out.
"Aw, you'll grow out of that soon enough, like those girls who blew through here last week."
"But in the mean time..." Toji Suzuhara deliberately didn't finish his sentence.
Harley laughed. "Okay, okay, I know when I'm beat! I'll get you a few kiddie bikes tomorrow."
![[Image: 200px-Asuka_and_Shinji_on_a_bicycle.jpg?20241024013543]](https://kanrikyara.miraheze.org/w/thumb_handler.php/5/57/Asuka_and_Shinji_on_a_bicycle.jpg/200px-Asuka_and_Shinji_on_a_bicycle.jpg?20241024013543)
October 2016
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
October 1, 2016
"Hey, Alice, I think this page is about you!"
Alice Carroll looked, sighed, and told herself yet again that blindly clicking on links Tomo Takino sent her was a mega bad idea.
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
October 4, 2016
"Is there any chance you could teach me to drive?"
Brent Laabs looked sideways at Tomo Takino. "Why do you want to learn?"
"In case I'm on a bus, and there's a bomb on the bus that'll go off if the bus drops below 50, and the driver gets shot, and ..."
"That was a movie!"
"And I'm from a TV show. What's your point?"
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 8, 2016
"Will the three of you listen to yourselves?" Rei Hino finally complained. "Boys, boys, boys, nothing but boys! Haven't you ever heard of the Bechdel test?"
"Do we look like fictional characters?" Minako Aino shot back.
"Up until last month," Ami Mizuno interrupted, "we were fictional characters. At least we were here."
"I still think I'm a real person," Usagi Tsukino muttered.
Maison d'Orléans
Orléans, Loiret department, France
October 9, 2016
«Touché,» Jehanne admitted ruefully, stepping back and lowering her sabre.
"Halt," Adrien, acting as referee, called. "Bout to Marinette."
"For once," the young Frenchwoman said with a grin as she pulled off her mask. She stepped forward and held out her hand. Jehanne, her own mask now off, smiled and shook it, then ran the fingers of her free hand through her dark, sweat-dampened hair.
"Well fought, my friend," she said.
"Thank you," Marinette acknowledged. "You've adapted well to fencing." Together they left the long, narrow rectangle of white paint in the middle of the residence parking lot which served as a makeshift piste, joining Adrien where he stood to one side.
Jehanne grinned at her younger friend. "In truth, I did not think I would do as well as I have. I may have worn a sword into battle, but I can count the number of times I actually drew it on the fingers of one hand. That I can not only hold my own against either one of you, but prevail more often than not, is a wonder to me."
"You are a natural at the arts of war, ma petite," a rich tenor voice said from behind her; Adrien and Marinette's eyes widened, and Jehanne turned about to see her patron stepping out of a shimmer of light that she was certain led to the Heavenly realms. Another figure, obscured by the brilliant light, followed him.
«Grand frère Michel!» she cried happily.
"This is why I have chosen you and your counterparts time and time again across the many universes," the archangel continued as he embraced her. "How do you fare, ma petite soeur?"
She stepped back and wrinkled her nose at him. "As you should know, since you ask me every day, I fare well. My tutors assure me that I am progressing quickly, and ere my reading improves enough, I shall be able to join my new friends at their 'high school'. And I continue to learn how to comport myself in this era."
Marinette shared a grin with Adrien. "She hasn't attacked a car in superstitious dread in almost a week!" she giggled.
Jehanne spun on her friend and held up a forefinger. "Once! Once only was I surprised and reacted badly!"
Marinette took her hand with a gentle smile. "I know, I know. I'm only teasing."
"Its operator should never have been given a license," Jehanne huffed, then shrugged and smiled. "And in truth I did grow familiar with automobiles during my first visit to this time."
Adrien snorted. "Jehanne, how often do we have to tell you? 1989 is not 'this time'."
She crossed her arms and scowled at him. "From whence I came? Then and now may as well be two days in the same week."
"She does have a point," Marinette admitted with grin. "Just like every other time you've had this little discussion." Adrien stuck his tongue out at her and she laughed.
Michael laughed, too, and laid a hand on Jehanne's shoulder. "It gladdens my heart to hear that you continue to do well, except for the occasional automobile," he said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Not you, too," she moaned in mock despair.
"But to help you to adapt even better to this our Refuge," he continued gently, "I have brought someone to meet you."
He stepped aside and the figure behind him resolved into an attractive red-haired woman, lithe and fit, taller than Jehanne by at least ten centimeters, and dressed in a men's dress shirt, jeans, and running shoes, all brilliantly white. She stepped forward with a broad smile upon her face and planted one fist on her hip. "Hello, Jehanne la Pucelle," she said. "I, too, am Jehanne la Pucelle."
"Who better to aid and advise you," Michael said, "than your counterpart from this universe?"
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 12, 2016
Rob Donaldson walked into the common room to hear Minako say, "Not a Brazilian, I hope."
"By now, I really should know better than to ask, but what are you talking about?"
"Oh, hi, Rob! Usagi's new job in the primate pen at the zoo."
He couldn't figure out what she meant. "There's no zoo in Ottawa."
"Ami said she's waxing gibbons," Minako explained.
Ami sighed deeply. "No, I said, 'The Moon is waxing gibbous'."[1]
Chicago, Illinois, USA
October 14, 2016
"Whatever happened to us yesterday wasn't time travel," Rally Vincent commented. "We're definitely not in our home world."
"How do you figure that, Rally?" asked Bean Bandit around big bites of burgers, not really caring but willing to humor his sometimes-partner.
"When I went to renew my license this morning, they told me that bounty hunting's illegal here. Even if you get a license out-of-state."
"That's a shame," May Hopkins commented. "It's been three decades. When did they change the law?"
"That's how I know we're in a different world. They changed it in 1963."
May's eyebrows headed for her forehead. "But that's before I was born!"
"Huh," Bean grunted. "So we're not home. Any idea how to find out where we are?"
"Not a clue. Right now, I'm more worried about how to earn a living. Burgers aren't free."
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 16, 2016
While looking at Makoto clearing the lunch dishes, Minako asked, "Do we need a rota?"
Mii had no idea what Minako meant. "A what?"
"A rota. You know, to keep track of the hoovering, and tossing the bins, and putting the kettle on after class."
"The what, the what, and the what?" Usagi asked, just as perplexed as Mii.
Rob smiled. "I think Mako-chan has the scran covered. But a rota for the rest would be boss."
"He's as bad as she is," Kuroko muttered.
Minako was puzzled for a short moment as well, until she realized what he was saying. "That's Scouse, Mr. Donaldson, not RP."
"So I'm a Beatles fan and I've seen a few episodes of Corrie Street. Everything's sound."
Rei finally exploded. "Will the two of you please tell us what you're talking about!"
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
October 16, 2016
"Why is it so hot?"
"Oh, that's because of the Santa Ana winds," Brent answered Tomo.
Osaka looked puzzled. "But we aren't in Santa Ana."
The Steeple
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
October 20, 2016
"Midchildan computers are the only ones with both spell-check and spelling-check."
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 21, 2016
Ami, still looking for costume ideas for the upcoming Halloween party, looked up from her computer screen. "Oh, dear. It appears that Pretty Cure isn't a medical drama."
The Anything Goes Cafe
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
October 22, 2016, during the events of Fuku'ing With His Head
"He reminds me of my sempai," Makoto Kino said as she watched Ryouga Hibiki head toward the road.
"He does?"
"Yeah -- he's clueless and he's walking away from me."
November 2016
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 2, 2016
"I just noticed," Mamoru Chiba commented. "You stock tampons in the common room's washroom."
"That's right," Rob replied. "A majority of the residents here are teenage girls with metahuman combat powers. Do you want to tell them they have to do without until they get back to their apartments?"
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
November 5, 2016
Yomi Mizuhara's curiosity had finally reached the point where it had to be satisfied. She walked over to her roommate and said, "You've been staring at that screen for five minutes now. And you're not watching a movie. Just what is it that you're doing?"
Without looking up, Tomo replied, "We're making characters so we can play City of Heroes with the folks in New Jersey, but I'm stuck on a name for mine."
"That's a supers game, right? Call your character 'The Attractive Nuisance'."
Tomo looked sideways at Yomi. "Is that some sort of joke only lawyers would get?"
"You finally noticed!"
"At least you think I'm attractive... sweetling."[2]
Appartements Mont-Royal Sud
Montréal, QC, Canada
November 6, 2016
"Rin," Saber asked, "Why are you calling Sailor Moon 'the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on'?"
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
November 11, 2016
Yui looked over Shinji's cello a second time. Puzzled, she asked, "Where do you plug it in?"
![[Image: 200px-Yui_and_Shinji_with_instruments.jpg]](https://kanrikyara.miraheze.org/w/thumb_handler.php/e/e1/Yui_and_Shinji_with_instruments.jpg/200px-Yui_and_Shinji_with_instruments.jpg)
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
November 12, 2016
"Sooooo," Ritsu vaulted the couch and dropped down next to Yui. "I hear you went on a date with Shinji Ikari." She grinned and nudged Yui with the closest elbow. "Goin' after a younger man, eh, Mrs. Robinson?"
Mio rolled her eyes. "I knew it was a mistake watching The Graduate last Friday," she muttered. Then she added, "Still, Yui, it seems improper for you to get involved with a high schooler."
"Nah," Ritsu said. "We know he likes mature women -- you see how he looks at Misato in their anime? I bet he couldn't keep his hands off our Yui."
Azusa sniffed disapprovingly. "I agree with Mio. It's not right. You're in college, and he's, what, not even fifteen?"
Yui suddenly lunged at Azusa and took her hands in hers. "Oh, don't be jealous, Azu-nyan -- you know you're the only one for me." Azusa blushed and yanked her hands free as Yui blithely went on. "It wasn't like that, anyway. He just seemed so sad, you know? When we were done with the session I just wanted to cheer him up a little before he had to go back to Florida. It doesn't seem like he does anything for fun with anyone there." She shrugged. "So I took him to Thomas Sweet for a blend-in, and there was a flier there about a cello recital at Mason Gross, so we decided to go. And it worked!" Her entire face seemed to light up. "He had such a good time, and he was so happy! We were laughing and talking all the way back here. And I gave him a hug and little kiss on the cheek to let him know that I had a good time, too." Yui's expression grew pensive. "He's nice, he just needs more friends."
Somewhere in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 12, 2016
"Your website does say that members are allowed to throw their own weapons."
"It does, but we expected people to bring in knives or axes. That's a rose."
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
November 15, 2016
"I saw her use the card, and I realized, whoa, magic is real!" Tomo enthused.
"Sure seems that way," Yomi agreed.
"So, hold my beer and watch this!" Tomo passed Yomi a bottle of Ramune.
"Oh boy."
Tomo raised her arms dramatically towards the ocean, and began chanting, "Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood -- guh!"
Yomi whapped Tomo on the head, hard. "For crying out loud, no evil magic!"
"Waaaa that hurt."
"I don't want you summoning an Elder God. If magic is real and fiction is real: just have some goddamn sense Tomo!"
Tomo mumbled, "Elder God. That spell wouldn't even work unless Shabra—"
"Huh?"
"Maybe that was a dumb idea," Tomo blushed.
Yomi stared down at Tomo and blinked a couple of times, entirely taken aback. About ten seconds later, "Of course it was a dumb idea. Geez."
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
November 16, 2016
"I want to see if I can talk them down on the price of a fur coat," Tomo said.
Brent looked at her incredulously. "You want to visit Dicker and Dicker ... to dicker?"
"Why not?" Tomo was surprised that Sonomi of all people would take her side. "Never pay the list price for a luxury item."
"Besides, it's in their name, so we have to!"
Brent decided that quoting John McClane was the best course of action. "Fine, fine, whatever. As long as you can afford it."
"I was hoping you'd pay for it."
"We're still buying fridges and stoves for the apartments. Buy your own coat."
Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, USA
November 17, 2016
"That's a mighty fine tail you have there, young man. Some variety of feline?"
Sun Wukong blinked and stared at the shopkeeper for a moment. "Um, no, monkey."
"You don't say! I'd've never guessed from the coloration." The old man nodded assessingly. "Must come in handy."
Sun's stare slowly morphed into a broad smile. "It certainly does! It's prehensile, and strong enough that I can hang from it."
The shopkeeper shook his head and chuckled. "And I suppose you can climb like the dickens, too. What I wouldn't give for somethin' like that. Would make tendin' my shop a sight easier."
Later, when Sun walked out of the store in a visible state of shock, the others clustered around him. "You okay, Sun?" Yang Xiao Long asked.
"The shopkeeper..." Sun began.
"Did he do anything?" Ruby Rose demanded, eyes narrowing.
Sun turned wondering eyes on all his companions. "He... he talked. Actual words and sentences, not just grunts. And he wished he had a faunus trait like mine!"
Ruby pivoted and studied the storefront. "Wow," she whispered.
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
November 18. 2016
Bob Schroeck was surprised to see Yui Hirasawa in the community center on a Friday afternoon; he expected that she'd be doing her homework at home. Noticing she was wearing headphones but not playing Gīta, he asked, "What are you listening to?"
She looked up while taking her headphones off. "I think it's a song about somebody asking my little sister out on a date." She switched on the stereo's speakers.
Bob listened for a moment, then said, "Considering that song was written in 1959, I doubt it's about your sister." Enunciating carefully, he continued, "Besides, he's saying 'oo-ee', not 'Ui'."
The Old Dietmeier Place
Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, USA
November 26, 2016
"Good night, Jaune-boy."
"Good night, Ruby."
"Good night, Jaune-boy."
"Good night, Nora."
"Good night, Jaune-boy!"
"Good night, Yang..." he said through clenched teeth.
Kris turned to Eleanor. "I don't think you should've shown them The Waltons, mom."
The Anything Goes Cafe
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
November 27, 2016
"I don't like hitting girls."
Mii Konori grinned at Ranma Saotome. "So I get a free shot at you?"
"Hell, no!"
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 30, 2016
"Sugar and spice and everything mice!" Minako declared.
"That's what little catgirls are made of!" Diana chimed in.
December 2016
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
December 4, 2016
"Taeko, you don't need to add chocolate to these. They're already chocolate habaneros."
"Oh, okay. I'll use them today, then. Thanks, Yomi!"
"Happy to help."
As she walked away from the kitchen and Taeko Minazuki, Yomi Mizuhara grinned. Dinner was going to be fun.
Washuu's Lab
December 12, 2016
Hayate Yagami stood up and, for the first time in years, took a step forward without Reinforce's assistance.
Her smile lit up the room.
Then she fell over.
Sasami grabbed her before she fell onto the floor. Hayate frowned and said, "I guess I'm a little out of practice."
"That's all right. I'll help you get used to having working legs again."
Washuu almost told Sasami that Hayate's strength would be returning quickly, but she changed her mind. Better for the two girls to have this reason to become friends, and to learn that it's all right to need to rely on somebody else or be there for somebody else to rely on her.
Residence 51
Idaho Springs, Colorado, USA
December 15, 2016
"Rhiannon, I don't know whether this will stop me from getting angry," David Banner said while looking at the spliff that she'd given him. "Besides, isn't this illegal?"
"Not in Colorado," she replied.
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 19, 2016
The elementary and high-school students were all in classes, Accelerator and Hyoga were doing the tourist thing downtown, and Maika and Mamoru were out buying groceries. It was just Rob, Ami, Mii, Chibiusa, and Last Order in the building, enjoying a rare day off.
"Anybody want to do anything special?" asked Rob.
Mii looked at the youngsters and thought better than to say anything. Chibiusa and the youngest Misaka Sister shook their heads.
"I promised Skuld I'd teach her how to play chess," Ami replied while grabbing her coat.
"Ah. Have fun!"
Fifteen minutes later, when he was back in his own apartment, Rob remembered Skuld was a Valkyrie as well as a Norn.
He couldn't sleep at all that night.
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 26, 2016
"You will be learning from Ms. Shirai how to control the Sailor Teleport to pinpoint accuracy, and she will be learning from you how to extend her range."
"That's work. What do we get out of it?"
Rob rolled his eyes at Usagi's question, then had an idea. "Remember when Rui-chan, Mako-chan, and I went up north for a week? Remember that really good cream soda that we brought back with us? Wouldn't you like to be able to go buy some whenever you want without needing a six-hour drive each way?"
Usagi thought for a moment, then grinned. "When do we start the lessons?"
Colonnade Pizza, Bank St
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 27, 2016
"Rob-oji and Hyoga told us that they've been to the gates of Hel, but I have trouble believing in an afterlife."
"Well, yeah," Mikoto Misaka agreed with Kuroko Shirai as she helped herself to a second slice of pizza. "An Academy City education doesn't prepare us for the supernatural."
"Despite the fact that we're all espers," Ruiko Saten pointed out.
"I meant magical supernatural, Saten-san. You know how Belldandy can't lie, right? So we could get her to confirm whether there's an afterlife by asking her to sing Prince's 'Let’s Go Crazy'."
"How'd you hear that old song?"
"My mother likes it."
Kazari Uiharu shook her head as she swallowed the bite she'd been eating. "It won't work. First, you're assuming she's allowed to tell us anything about what happens after death. She could just refuse to sing any songs about Heaven. Second, you're assuming she isn't lying when she says she can't lie; we haven't independently confirmed that."
Kuroko frowned. "Uiharu-san, why do you have to be right about this?"
- RK: Just think, in a week it'll be raining gibbons... er, waning gibbous.
- RMS: DYO!
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| 2016-09-30 ff: Everyone's Still a Critic |
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Posted by: Bob Schroeck - 12-10-2024, 05:44 PM - Forum: Stories
- No Replies
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Everyone's Still a Critic
by InquisitiveRaven, Rob Kelk and Robert M. Schroeck
September 30, 2016
Maison d'Orléans
Orléans, Loiret department, France
(Dialogue translated from the French)
Marinette paused the Blu-Ray disk and gave Jehanne an incredulous look. "They kidnapped you out of a church the night before a battle?"
The older girl smiled, displaying teeth that Marinette still thought were extraordinarily straight and white for a 15th-century peasant. "I would not say 'kidnapped'. I thought they were angels sent by Archange Michel at first and went willingly." She shrugged. "By the time I knew better, I was too busy exploring their time and learning what I could that might help the King's troops." Her expression grew distant for a moment. "I have never regretted not having learned to read more than I did during my few hours in that palace of a marketplace -- all that knowledge in its bookstores, denied me."
Adrien shook his head. "How could you mistake them for angels? They're idiots."
Jehanne favored him with a flat look. "When two figures appear in a pillar of light and metal and glass in front of the altar of the cathedral where you're praying, what else could they be? In truth, a pair of errant schoolboys looking to complete an assignment was not my first thought." She paused for a moment, then added with a sly little smile, "Besides, I'm still not entirely sure you two aren't angels. You have power far beyond anything any human possesses, and Archange Michel clearly favors you as much as he does me."
"If you say so," Adrien replied doubtfully.
Jehanne shook her head in amusement. "Angels or not, I enjoy your company and friendship. And in truth, so did I Bill and Ted's. Although I do wish they had learned my proper name, even if they could not speak a word of French. 'Darc' was my father's name, not mine."
October 1, 2016
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
Mio suddenly shot up out of her seat. "Pause it! Pause it!" she shouted, and Ritsu obliged.
"What is it, Mio-chan?" Yui asked, sharing puzzled glances with Yugi.
Mio had begun stalking around the living room of the apartment, waving her arms. It was the most agitated any of them, except perhaps Ritsu, had ever seen her. "I can't believe it!"
"Can't believe what, sempai?" Azusa asked.
Mio halted and pointed at the TV screen. "That!"
"That" was K-On! the Movie, frozen on a frame showing the members of Hokago Tea Time crossing a street in London during their graduation trip. In response to the puzzled silence that ensued, Mio took a deep breath and explained, "That's Abbey Road! We crossed Abbey Road! And I never noticed!" she concluded in almost a wail.
"To be fair, sempai," Azusa said after a moment, "none of us noticed. It didn't look like the album cover from where we were. It was just another crosswalk."
"It's surprising that there weren't any tourists there to clue us in, though," Mugi noted.
October 17, 2016
The Anything Goes Cafe
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
Ranma Saotome was getting used to using a computer by doing what he thought was completely natural: looking for mentions of himself on the Internet.
"Hah! Hey, Na-chan!"[1]
"Don't call me 'Na-chan'," Nabiki Tendo complained from the far side of the building's lounge in front of the Anything Goes Cafe. She was older than him, after all.
"You've heard of Wikipedia, right?"
"I told you about it, Saotome. It's a good place to start looking for things, as long as they're notable."
"Well, guess who's got a Wikipedia page."
"I know that The Guess Who has a Wikipedia page," she replied while walking over to him, purposefully misunderstanding his statement.
"Not them. I've got a Wikipedia page!"
Completely deadpan, Nabiki said, "I'm so happy for you."
"Nobody else here has one. Guess that shows who's the notable one here!"
"It took you long enough to find it. You have something else, too, that you share with one of the residents in Ottawa." She took the keyboard from him and typed in a URL.
"Hey, thanks." He looked at the screen and started reading, becoming more horrified with every word. "A very specific variety of Intercontinuity Crossover that has proven so popular and spawned so many instances that it practically counts as its own genre: a Ranma ½-Sailor Moon crossover in which girl-form Ranma becomes a member of the Sailor Senshi, or otherwise takes up the role of Magical Girl. So called because Ranma almost always ends up in the Sailor Fuku styled uniforms of the Senshi..."[2] He turned off the monitor in disgust. "There's no way in Hell I'll take part in a fuku fic!"
Nabiki grinned as she went back to her book. That's what you get for calling me "Na-chan", she thought.
October 18, 2016
The Steeple
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
"I'm not that bad, am I?" Nanoha whined after reading several fanfics that made a big deal of her knack for befriending people with violence.
November 18, 2016
The Steeple
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
"I'm not that bad, am I?" Hayate complained about fanfics playing up her supposed sexual proclivities.
November 19, 2016
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
She could hear Kuhonbutsu-san through the wall that their apartments had in common. "Come, my brother! We must set to work immediately! ... Did you not see the glorious account of our quest to produce the greatest fan comics ever? Were you not there with us last night as our generous hosts shared the marvelous anime that our efforts deserved? ... Is it not obvious, my brother? We must now tell the story of our arrival in this universe, and our heroic role in saving the multiverse as well! The world, nay, the worlds must know! And the best way, the only way, to tell it is of course as a comic!"
"No," she said quietly, "that isn't the only way. But the story should be told." She started a new word-processor document, put on a headset, and turned on the program's speech-to-text function because she wasn't sure that she had the stamina to be able to type the entire article. "A critical review of the Refuge reality, by Ikumi Tachikawa for the displacees.yggdrasil forum "So You're New to Refuge". Persocom new paragraph.[3] Fair disclosure: I am one of the people displaced from the world shown in the anime Comic Party and Comic Party Revolution. Persocom new paragraph. Reactions must be judged in context of the background of the people having the reactions. Comic Party is a 2001 anime based on a dating sim of the same name, where Kazuki Sendō has to complete and sell a new doujin to sell at the Comic Party convention every month, while pursuing the girl that he prefers and also attending college classes. The anime takes some liberties with the plot of the game in that there are fewer conventions for Sendō-san to attend and more attention paid to both the actual process of creating doujinshi and the girls that Sendō-san dates. Persocom backspace one word. meets. Unlike in the game, Sendō-san does not choose any one of the girls he meets as a love interest. However, Mizuki Takase appears to be the girl who Sendō-san prefers in the anime."
"Really?"
"Persocom pause entry." Ikumi turned to face her apartment-mate. "We watched the anime together, Mizuki-san. Didn't you see how much attention you got from him?"
"I saw how much attention each of the other girls got," Mizuki replied sourly. Dropping the rancor, she added, "He even likes you as a friend."
"And I think of Sendō-san as a friend, too, but I don't want to date him. He's too old for me. I want him to write good stories."
Mizuki smiled at the first-year high-school student's comment about the boy who everybody else from their reality but Chisa and Taishi wanted as a boyfriend. "Oh, and you said 'sell a new doujin to sell'."
"Thanks; I'll fix that in the first edit pass. Our Sendō-san likes you, Mizuki-san. He stopped working on his doujin to paint a portrait of you, after all."
"That was my evil twin, not me."
"He didn't know that."
"So," Miyuki asked, "who do you think Kazuki should end up with?"
"You'll just have to wait until I've finished this article to find out," the younger of the two redheads said with a smile before turning back to her computer. "Persocom resume entry. She receives more screen time than any one of the other girls in the cast..."
January 21, 2017
FBI Headquarters
The J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC, USA
When the last episode on the disk concluded, Scully turned her seat to face Mulder. "Your thoughts?" she asked.
"You're prettier than Gillian Anderson," Mulder declared, absolutely straight-faced.
"Thank you," she said dryly, "but that's not what I meant."
Mulder snorted, then waved at the screen with the "X-Files" logo on it. "At least now we understand all the jokes about why we were destined to work together. With this television show still so prominent in the popular culture, a 'real' Mulder and Scully working for the FBI would have been a pair of irresistible targets."
"I don't like the idea that I might have my position in this world's FBI solely because it was someone's idea of a joke," Scully said with a frown.
"If it's any consolation, both our records and the Bureau's personnel files for us say we're not just lazing about here," Mulder noted blandly. "We've got a full caseload that gets us sent all over the country."
"Just like before," Scully acknowledged with a nod. "I would have stormed the director's office if the only reason this assignment existed was just so they could pair us together."
February 9, 2017
Glynn's Wellington House
Dorset Street Upper
Dublin, Ireland
Sam took a long draw on his pint of Guinness, then looked sidewise at Meg, who was studying the head on her own pint. "Thanks for meeting up with me tonight," he said.
She looked up at him, a faint smile dancing on her lips. "No worries. We'd just finished an afternoon of practicing, and we were all going our separate ways before we got sick of each other."
Sam laughed. "Can't see that with your lot -- you seem more like sisters than anything."
Meg raised an eyebrow. "You've never seen sisters fight?"
"Ah," he admitted. "There you have me."
She studied him for a bit before saying, "So... what did you want to talk to me about?"
He shook his head, smiling. "Figured that out, huh? You'd make a good detective. Want to swap jobs?"
"I don't know," Meg drawled. "How's your soprano range?"
"It's rubbish," he said. He took another sip of his Guinness. "I finally got my hands on a copy of the TV show you told me about. Life on Mars?" Meg nodded and Sam went on. "Watched the whole thing end-to-end over the last week."
"And?" she asked before finally taking a sip of her own pint.
"Can't say I'm enamoured of having had some seriously private family matters splattered across the BBC," he growled.
"I might be able to sympathize with that," Meg offered mildly.
"Damn programme was accurate, best as I can recall," he continued as though he hadn't heard her. "But what really has me pissed off is that in the end the damned thing didn't clear up my situation one fucking bit."
She took another drink. "What, you mean whether you were mad, unconscious, or actually in 1973?"
"Yeah," he growled and sucked down nearly half of his pint in one go. "Right to the last it seemed like it was trying to have it all three ways at once." He put his pint back down on the bar hard enough to make the barman look up at the sound.
Meg hmm'ed. "At least you know that you're sane and that this world is real."
He laughed humourlessly. "Meeting a god will do that for you. Whatever else that thing he did accomplished, it certainly grabbed the inside of my head and said 'this is real, lad'." He picked up his pint again and studied the logo on the glass. "I just want to know once and for all what was really going on with me before I arrived here."
"Well," Meg said, "one good thing, regardless -- no creepy little blonde girl with an ugly doll chasing you around any more."
"Oh, yeah," Sam nodded. "That is a definite plus." He held his glass up to her, and Meg lifted to hers to clink against it. "To the real world. Whichever one it is."
Meg nodded. "To the real world."
February 14, 2017
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
"Whoa, what a crowd," Ritsu declared when the video ended. "We've never played in front of an audience that big."
"There were over 35,000 fans there," Aki said, "more than twice as many as were at the concert in 2009, which was kind of scary."
Satomi laughed. "Kind of? Try 'very'."
"Aki-chan and I are the only ones who had any experience playing music before K-On!," Minako said, "but never in front of a crowd that large."
"We'd better not let Sawa-chan-sensei see those outfits you were wearing," Azusa noted with a smile, "Or we'll be in them next week."
"I hope not!" Yui said with a pout. "I wouldn't look as good as Aki-onee-chan did -- my legs aren't nearly long enough!"
Yoko let loose a peal of laughter. "You think those are bad? You should have seen what they had us wearing during 'Don't Say Lazy'!"
March 12, 2017
Kaleido Stage Dormitories
Venice Beach, California, USA
"Wow," breathed Sora as the video came to an end.
Layla laughed. "Makes all those long, dull hours of practice and rehearsal look exciting, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," Sora agreed. "What was the music they were using, though? I thought it might be in English, but I could only catch a couple words here and there."
"Your guess is as good as mine," Layla replied, shrugging. "I couldn't even make out that much."
March 30, 2017
Gulfside Rest
Pensacola Beach, Florida, United States
Once she had ensured that Hikari had departed on the planned bicycle excursion, Rei retreated to the apartment bathroom and stood at the sink, studying her reflection in the mirror there. She tilted her head and considered her image for several minutes, before suddenly erupting in a broad, toothy smile utterly unlike any expression any of her fellow displacees had ever seen on her face.
"Heee~ey," she sing-songed, still grinning.
A moment later the smile vanished, and she frowned minutely before trying again.
An even wider, toothier grin exploded across her face. "Heeeeeeeeee~ey."
After holding the grin for several seconds longer than the first time, Rei let it collapse and admitted disappointment. While as the story she'd found online had suggested, it did have considerable potential for amusement, she did not think she could maintain the persona long enough for a proper pay-off. She would have to reserve it for a special occasion.
In the meantime, she wondered, how hard would it be to find a squeaky rubber hammer the next time they went shopping on the mainland?
March 31, 2017
Gulfside Rest
Pensacola Beach, Florida, United States
"Huh? What's this?" Asuka picked up a thick stack of laser-printed pages held together by a binder clip from where it sat on an endtable in Apartment 3's living room — their apartment manager's living room had turned into a place to hang out months ago. "'NGE: Nobody Dies -- A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction by Gregg Landsman'." She began reading, chuckling darkly at a Shinji who, despite being two years older, seemed even more hapless and pathetic than the one she knew.
Forty-five minutes later she reached the first appearance of her own counterpart.
The subsequent scream of outrage could be heard on the mainland.
June 3, 2017
The Beach House
Seaside Heights, New Jersey, USA
As Sammi stood by smirking, Nicole ejected the DVD after the last episode concluded. Without saying a word she returned it to its case and popped out the next disk, watching her new tenants as she did.
Gilligan was the first to break the silence. "Okay, I know I wasn't the smartest person on the island," he said, looking around the room at his fellow former castaways. "But after watching all that, I have to ask -- what're you guys's excuses?"
July 12, 2017
Castle Pueblo
Los Lunas, New Mexico, United States
When Disney+ returned to the title card for Phineas and Ferb, Linda carefully laid down the remote and looked over at her daughter. "These cartoons are reasonably accurate?" she asked.
"Pretty much," Candace replied. "At least for the stuff I saw."
Linda nodded, mostly to herself. "It seems," she said, "that I owe you an apology, Candace."
July 19, 2017
Tsukuba Space Center
Tsukuba Science City, Ibaraki Prefecture, Japan
Five people — three astronauts and two seiyuu — had gotten together to watch anime. While most people would consider such a thing to be a waste of an astronaut's time, two of the astronauts had come straight out of the show they were watching, so JAXA considered the time to be a familiarization activity.
"Yukari-sempai," Akane Miura asked at the end of the final episode, "did you ever notice that everything your sister Matsuri gets involved in changes from realistic to magical realism?"
The senior astronaut of the Solomon Space Association, Yukari Morita, thought for a moment. "I hadn't noticed until watching the anime about us, but I think you're right, Akane. With all of the superfast astronaut training they were giving us, I didn't have time to really pay attention to what was going on around me. Us."
"Oh, dear," said the remaining astronaut in the room, Naoko Yamazaki. She had been called back to JAXA from her position on the Japanese government's Space Policy Committee because she was the Japanese astronaut with the greatest knowledge of the Rocket Girls, having voiced herself in a cameo during their anime. "Astronauts are supposed to train for years to pay attention to, and think about, what we're seeing and hearing."
"The SSA didn't have years," Yukari pointed out. "They only had weeks to send a person into space or lose their funding. But Director Nasuda was right; even a monkey could have done the job I did during my first mission, at least until the Tampopo catastrophe."
"Monkeys have gone into space in our reality," Yamazaki-san admitted, "but as passengers aboard automated launches, not as crew. I'm impressed that both of you could learn what you needed to learn in such a short amount of time." Akane blushed at the compliment, while Yukari took it in stride. "I noticed right away that Matsuri's scenes are not at all scientifically accurate."
"Such as?" Yukari asked.
"You riding on top of her during re-entry. You might only mass 40kg, but 40kg at 1G is the equivalent of 480kg at 12G, so she should have been crushed. And you didn't have a form-fitting couch to absorb some of the G-forces on your body. The retrieval crew should have had to carry both your bodies out of the capsule, but both of you walked out of Coconut without any injuries instead."
"Are you saying my sister is some sort of magical girl?"
"I can't be sure, but if she was with you, the government would have already asked the transforming heroines who we've been told are in Philadelphia and Ottawa to give her a complete examination." After a moment of thought, Yamazaki-san added, "Perhaps we should ask them to examine you, Yukari."
Shaking her head quickly while frowning, Yukari answered, "We have the same father, not the same mother, and I'm pretty sure Matsuri gets her magical realism from her mother's side of her family."
Akane, on the other hand, asked with wide-eyed amazement, "There are transforming heroines in this reality?"
"They're from other universes, like you," Eri Sendai commented, causing Yamazaki-san to wince at the imprecise use of the term 'universe'. But precise use of language was an occupational hazard of being an astronaut. Akane noticed; Yukari and the seiyuu didn't.
Eri continued, "Many of us seiyuu have been in on the secret for much longer than any government has. Last month, I visited the girls from Girls und Panzer to talk with Suzuki Takako before I voice her again in the upcoming movie series."
"Whatever Girls und Panzer is," Yukari commented. "I suppose there's a half-dozen people out there from other Earths who sound just like us."
"Not as far as I know. I only know about her and you, Yukari-san. I've heard rumours that Hisakawa Aya-san has a half-dozen voice twins, though."
Akane turned to the woman who had voiced her in the anime they had just watched. "How many of your characters have shown up here, Hasegawa-san?"
"As far as I know, just you," Shizuka replied. "Yutaka didn't accompany the Lucky Star characters that are here, and if anybody from any of my other shows is in this world, we don't know about it. I think I like it better that way."
After a moment, Akane nodded. "I think so, too." Then a look of realization appeared on her face. "Hisakawa-san voiced a half-dozen characters who are here, and you've already told us that transforming heroines are here so that implies the existence of magic. Do the people who sound like Hisakawa-san include her roles from Sailor Moon and Ah! Megami-sama?"
"We aren't supposed to tell anyone," Eri replied, "but just by being from another universe lets you in on the secret. Yes to both."
The beginning of a smile played on Yamazaki-san's face, despite her attempt to present a professional face to the others. "And that is the kind of inductive thinking that JAXA and NASA teach us. With the proper training, you just might become a better astronaut than I was, Miura-san."
July 21, 2017
Castle Pueblo
Los Lunas, New Mexico, United States
"Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!" A pair of young and unfortunately shrill voices cut right through Truly's attempt to draft a new item for the agenda of the next Advisory Board meeting. "Oh, you, pretty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we..."
Truly sighed and laid down her pen. "Jeremy, Jemima?" she called while rubbing her eyes.
The enthusiastic singing abruptly. "Yes, Mum?" the twins chorused, making her smile.
"Please sing outside?"
"Yes, Mum!" they called back. The rubber-soled shoes they wore now as a matter of course didn't make a sound as they left the apartment, but the door certainly did, slamming enthusiastically behind them. Truly winced at the noise, then picked up her pen again. The 'movie' of their adventures had been quite enjoyable, but Jeremy and Jemima had been insisting on singing its title song for some weeks now, seemingly only stopping at mealtimes or when playing with the Flynn-Fletcher brothers.[4] Even a doting mother could take only so much.
August 1, 2017
Private home
1721 NW 2nd Street
Abilene, Kansas, USA
James Goodwin lifted the mug of hot chocolate to his lips, sipped it carefully, then set it down and returned to his book. As he turned the pages one by one, the sun slowly sank. He paused only to take further sips from the mug and to turn on the lights when it grew too dark to read.
Upon completing the final page, with its description of Dorothy's return to her aunt and uncle's farm, he closed the book and set it on the end table next to the armchair in which he sat. Then he leaned back and considered the book and its curious parallels to so many people of his acquaintance, past and... well, not present, not any more, but much more recently past. The correspondences were oddly inconsistent -- some were subtle, taking thought to identify, but others were so blatant that had the book not been written more than a century earlier he would have suspected the author of deliberately taunting him. But they were there, and they were indisputable. It could not be a coincidence.
Just as curious, though, were the omissions. There were so many other people who had played important roles in his long, long existence... why had only he and a handful of them been "honored" in this fashion? Why not... her? Surely she was more important than the last generation of allies and agents he had recruited. Why had there been no obvious counterpart to her in the book?
James' stomach growled, and he realized that between his absorption in the book and his ruminations afterward, he had completely missed dinner. He reached for his cane, and with it levered himself up out of his seat. As he made his way to the kitchen, he continued to muse on the curious puzzle. Depending on how you counted, there were either fourteen or forty books in the entire series... perhaps what he looked for would be found in one or more of them.
Or perhaps, once he grew more comfortable with using it, he would start searching the "Internet". It would no doubt be faster than reading forty books. After all, over his existence, he had known so many people. He glanced at his cane and smiled. And he did have a long memory.
August 11, 2017
Castle Pueblo
Los Lunas, New Mexico, United States
When the movie was over, Mortimer turned off the player and the TV with the little remote control box. (And have I mentioned just how neat it was to have a TV the size of a picture window and the ability to watch almost any movie or show you wanted, any time you wanted? It almost made getting kicked out of our own world and time worth it.) "Well, guys?" he asked.
"It stinks!" Dinky piped up immediately. He was so agitated that his voice, already squeaky, got even more so, and you could see the start of tears in his eyes. "They stole the story of our sea monster!" He had a right to be upset... the sea monster was, when you get right down to it, his idea. Yeah, we all built on it, but he came up with it when he needed an excuse for coming home late one night.
Freddy shook his head. "Why'd they cut us out of the story? I mean... I thought Walt Disney was such a great man and here he goes and throws us out of our own adventure." He sulked. "We don't even know anyone named Tippy, Scott or Catfish."
"The books were good," Homer said. "The books were all but perfect -- well, except for making Charlie the narrator." He shot me a smile, letting me know he was just teasing and not serious. "But that ... abomination was unforgivable."
"It's a pity it was made fifty years ago," Jeff mused. "Too long ago to get any kind of revenge on the people responsible."
"Maybe not, but I don't think we want to be bullying a bunch of old folks," Henry replied, a thoughtful look on his face. "At least Mr. Brinley got some credit."
August 25, 2017
Appartements Mont-Royal Sud
Montréal, Quebec, Canada
"Have you seen some of the fanfiction about us?"
Konata grinned at Kagami's question. "I see you finally found the lemons."
"Is that what they're called? Anyway. Why would anybody think I'd ever do that?" She pointed at one of the windows on her screen. "Or this? Or this? Or... actually, that one looks interesting."
Miyuki looked over Kagami's shoulder and read the first few lines. "According to my pre-med textbooks, that's anatomically impossible."
"Oh... Drat."
- RK: "Nabs" is a fanon nickname which cannot be written in hiragana, katakana, or kanji. "Na-chan" is our best guess as to what Ranma is actually calling Nabiki in all of those other fanfics, and is sufficiently diminutive that she would take offence to being called by it.
- RK: Quote from "Fuku Fic", from All The Tropes, is used under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. And fair disclosure: The person who wrote this scene is an administrator at All The Tropes.
- RK: No, Ikumi isn't referring to Chobits. See the first footnote in A Serotinal Frolic Chapter 1 for details.
- RMS: Yes, the Potts twins hang out with Phineas and Ferb. Wait until you see who else lives in their residence. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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Which web comics should I be reading, and why? |
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Posted by: robkelk - 12-10-2024, 05:07 PM - Forum: General Chatter
- Replies (10)
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With General Protection Fault winding down, I'm looking for a web comic or two to add to my reading list.
My current reading list is Darths and Droids, Dresden Codak, Freefall, Girl Genius, Girls und Panzer - Operation: More Love Love! Web Edition, Grrl Power, Irregular Webcomic!, Kevin & Kell, League Of Super Redundant Heroes, The Order of the Stick, Rusty & Co., Scandinavia and the World, Sequential Art, Sluggy Freelance, Wrong Hands, and xkcd. I haven't yet given up on Kiwi Blitz, Modest Medusa, Pepper&Carrot, and Times Like This.
Last month, I marathoned A Miracle of Science and liked the story. Last year, I marathoned Lavender Jack and liked the story.
For my current marathon, I'm about 10% into reading Megatokyo for the first time. (Yes, I know it's a big task). If it maintains the same or better level of storytelling, I'll probably add it to my reading list.
Story and characters are more important to me than artwork, as one could probably tell from the presence of Darths and Droids, Irregular Webcomic!, The Order of the Stick, and xkcd on my reading list. On the other hand, a strip has to be very good to keep my interest over a hiatus, and extremely good to keep my interest over a long hiatus or multiple hiatuses (which is why I dropped Erma and PvP – too many breaks.)
Given what I like, does anyone have any suggestions for what else I might want to audition for my reading list? Please don't just list strips; tell me why I might like them (which can be as simple as "since you liked FOO, you might like LOREM IPSUM").
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| 2016-09-17: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Touring |
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Posted by: Bob Schroeck - 12-03-2024, 09:57 PM - Forum: Stories
- Replies (8)
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Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Touring
by Robert M. Schroeck
Chapter 1: Yesterday In Old Fall River
Motel 6 Fall River
459 Airport Road
Fall River, Massachusetts, USA
Saturday, September 17, 2016, 7:36 AM
"What are you doing drooling on me, Mophead?"
Half-asleep, Hane wrapped her pillow around her head in the hope that she could block out the sound of an outraged Rin, as muffled as it was, and return to blissful unconsciousness. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter than they already were, burrowed deeper into the covers and slid closer to the figure on the other side of the bed that radiated pleasant heat. "Mm, Yume, you're nice and warm," she murmured as she wrapped her arm around her sister, while still doing her best to ignore the sounds of the argument on the other side of the wall.
Then her eyes snapped open. Yume couldn't possibly be sharing her bed. The Club was on a road trip, and Yume wasn't a biker. And Hane had gone to sleep in the top bunk of a very narrow bunkbed in a youth hostel in Kyoto the night before. There should have been no room for someone to be in the bed with her -- but someone was, anyway. In front of her nose was hair the wrong shade of brown to be Yume. "Chisame?" Hane murmured in confusion.
She unwrapped her arm from around the other girl (who slept on, unaware) and carefully rolled over onto her back before sitting upright. (Definitely a larger bed than last night's bunk. And much closer to the ground.) The room that came into view was dimly lit by morning light leaking around curtains that covered a single large window to her left where the room she had gone to sleep in had had two regular casement windows to her right. There was a door next to the window that apparently led outside -- very different from the hallway door that had been past the end of the bunk by a couple meters. The faint light also revealed unfamiliar furnishings including a TV which hadn't been there the night before.
It was also lacking the other four members of the club and Mister Hayakawa, all of whom had been in the remaining bunks of their shared hostel room. Rin and Onsa's voices, somewhat muffled, were still audible through the wall behind her, so they at least weren't too far away. But they still weren't where they were supposed to be.
"Something weird is going on," Hane whispered to herself.
"Sempai?" a sleepy voice came from behind her. "What are you doing in my bunk?"
Ten minutes later, Hane and Chisame -- now hastily dressed -- burst out through the door to their room to find (as she'd feared) a sidewalk and not the hallway of a hostel. Almost absently Hane noticed it was cooler than it had been the previous day -- about twenty degrees, almost ten degrees cooler than the day before.[1] From the other side of the room next door seemingly occupied by Rin and Onsa came Hijiri, Lime and Hayakawa. Of the three, Hijiri was the most obviously distressed.
"Hane! Chisame!" she cried, agitation driving her voice almost up into a shriek. "What happened? Do you know where we are?"
Hane glanced around and shook her head. "I have no idea. It's not Kyoto, though." And it wasn't. The hostel where they'd gone to sleep had been a boxy, two-story structure of dark wood surrounded by densely packed city blocks, with nothing but sidewalk separating them from the narrow streets. But now... now they were standing along the front of a long, white one-story building in what looked almost like a rural area, with thick stands of trees and grassy lawns in every direction. At one end was something that looked like it might be a restaurant.
The only other structures for at least a hundred meters in any direction were three large buildings, one each to the left, right and across the broad highway that ran past the other side of that parking lot separated them from it; a sign where one could turn off the road into the parking lot declared they were at "Motel 6" and "Denny's"; something about the sign seemed odd to Hane but she couldn't put her finger on exactly what. The parking lot itself was filled with cars and...
"Our bikes!" Chisame cried. And there they were, neatly sharing a pair of parking spots right by the doors to their rooms.
Hane was the first to reach hers, and quickly ran her hands over it while checking the paint job. It was, she was glad to see, in perfect shape. In fact, she quickly realized, it was lacking the road dust that had accumulated on their drive to Kyoto. "Someone washed you?" she murmured. To either side of her, Chisame and Hijiri were saying similar things, and looking up, Hane saw that Lime seemed surprised and pleased at the state of her Kawasaki -- before she waved and pointed at the rear of the lime-green motorcycle.
When she pointed at the back ends of the other bikes, Hane stood and stepped behind her Su-Four. It took her a moment to figure out what Lime had spotted.
The license plate was not the one she was familiar with. Gone were the familiar kanji, hiragana and number in green on white. The plate that was now affixed to her bike had red romaji and numerals on it...
"What's 'Florida'?" Chisame demanded.
"It's one of the United States," Hijiri said absently. "How odd. Your bikes have red lettering. Our Ducati's license has green. And why do yours say 'Under 21' below the number?"
"Because we're all under 21 except for Mister Hayakawa," Hane offered. "Speaking of Mister Hayakawa, where is..."
"Right here," the butler said from behind her. She spun, surprised, to see him standing there in a fresh uniform, with a newspaper under his arm. "Good morning, young ladies," he continued, withdrawing the paper and unfolding it. He held it up so they could see the masthead, which read "The Boston Globe" in English. Under it were headlines, also in English, that Hane realized she was reading so easily that she hadn't noticed she'd been reading English. She turned abruptly to look at the sign that had seemed odd and it, too, was in English. That was what had been odd about it.
"We appear to be in Massachusetts in the United States," Hayakawa continued calmly. "And if this newspaper is correct -- and I believe it is, as I have just retrieved it from a stack of identical copies from a vending box a few meters away -- it is September 17, 2016."
"What?" someone shrieked. Hane wasn't sure who said it; all she could think of was how when they'd gone to bed in Kyoto the night before it had been July twenty-third, just a couple days after the start of the summer holiday.
In 2012.
The door closest to them was flung open; Onsa and Rin, still buttoning and zipping up their clothes, charged out onto the sidewalk. "What about September 2016?" Rin demanded. Huh. Hane realized she hadn't heard them arguing for a while now.
Onsa dragged her sleeve across her mouth, glanced around, then added, "And where are we? This isn't Kyoto."
It took only a minute to share what little they knew, and most of that was spent convincing Rin that whatever it was, a mistake wan't among the possibilities. Hayakawa's newspaper went a long way to proving that something weird was going on, much as Rin didn't want to believe it.
"What do we do now?" Chisame asked
"I think," Hayakawa said slowly, "that before we do anything else, it would behoove us to have breakfast." He gestured toward the end of the building, toward what she had thought was a restaurant. "I am reliably informed that Denny's serves a more than acceptable American-style meal."
"Of course it would, we're in America," Onsa muttered.
"How are we going to pay for breakfast if we're in America?" Rin demanded.
Hayakawa held up a wad of unfamiliar-looking money. "What or whoever is responsible for depositing us here has not left us without resources."
If being able to read the newspaper hadn't been enough, reading the menus at the Denny's certainly hammered home that everyone could now read English perfectly -- even Onsa, whom Hane knew hadn't been the best in class. Knowing that, she wasn't sure why she'd been surprised when she realized that they all now spoke English as well, and had been since waking, and hadn't realized it until the hostess had greeted them and guided them to a large corner booth.
Most of the breakfasts in the menu were huge, but that was okay -- Hane was starving, and judging by everyone else's orders, they were, too. Hayakawa was the exception, ordering just a bowl of fruit, which he consumed quickly but elegantly before excusing himself. "I believe I shall take a short walk to learn more about where we are," he said as he handed off the money to Lime. Then he gave the table a quick bow before exiting the restaurant.
"You can tell he was in the army during the Pacific War," Onsa said between bites of sausage. Hane had a couple links of it on her plate, and she thought it was oddly seasoned but still tasty.
"What do you mean?" Chisame asked, a forkful of scrambled eggs halfway to her mouth. Next to her, Hijiri nodded sagely but said nothing.
Onsa gestured vaguely. "Every once in a while he gets all military-like. Like just then," she said. "He's scouting the area like we're in enemy territory."
"Aren't we, though?" Rin asked. "We're in another country, probably illegally for all we know, in the freakin' future, and we have no idea how or why. Someone left us money for breakfast, but we don't know who."
Lime waved for their attention and held up her pad:
"There's enough here for lunch, too!"
Rin rolled her eyes. "Okay, so we won't starve until after it gets dark. Big deal. The point is, we've got nothing but our bikes, the clothes on our backs, and our travel gear. We may have our licenses and all, but they're all in Japanese, and we don't have passports. What happens the first time a cop pulls us over?" She spread her hands with a self-satisfied look on her face. "Enemy territory."
Across the table, Hijiri suddenly got that delighted look she always got whenever she thought she was doing something naughty or "delinquent".
Hane bit her lip as a thought struck her. "We're four years in the future... and we're not any older, any of us." She looked up at the rest of the table. "We've all been missing for four years! Our families must be frantic."
"Or they've given us up for dead," Chisame said glumly, staring into her orange juice.
"That's easily fixed," Onsa declared confidently. "When we're done here, we go back to our rooms, and we call our families."
"And tell them what, Mophead?" Rin snorted derisively. "'Hi, we went to sleep in Kyoto in 2012 and woke up in the United States in 2016? Can you come get us?'"
Onsa scowled at her. "We can at least let them know we're alive."
Rin's expression softened. "Yeah," she admitted after a moment. "You're right."
"I have to admit, I'm curious who is behind this," Hijiri said, then nibbled on a strip of oddly crispy bacon. "As Rin said, the money proves there is a someone. But what can possibly be the motive for transporting us halfway around the world and four years into the future?"
The debate on that topic which ensued lasted longer than their remaining breakfasts, and continued as they left the Denny's and returned to their rooms.
Hane bit her lip as she closed her phone. She tried not to worry what it might mean that both her home number and her parents' number here in the United States had netted her "no such number in service" recordings. "Chisame?" she said without looking up from the phone cupped in her hands. "I heard you talking. Did you reach your parents?"
"There's something really wrong here, sempai," Chisame said from the other side of the bed. "Someone answered, but I didn't recognize them. they'd never heard of my parents, and they said they'd had the number longer than I've been alive. When I told them my dad's name, they asked if I mean Nakano Shinya instead of Nakano Kinya.[2] " Hane looked up in time to see Chisame shake her head. The younger girl normally showed little in the way of emotion, but Hane thought she looked like she was about to burst into tears. Not that Hane didn't feel much the same.
Yume... where are you?
There was a knock at the door, and after a glance at Chisame, Hane hopped off the bed. It was, as she expected, the other girls.
None of them looked happy. In Lime's case, her entire bearing seemed to droop. Hane looked from face to face, and said, "I'm guessing you didn't have any more luck than we did."
"If that means you didn't reach anyone," Onsa said with a grimace, "Then yeah, no luck."
Hane stepped back and opened the door wide. "Come on in."
A minute later the entire club was in a rough circle, some perched on the bed, others sitting in a pair of chairs that flanked a small table in front of the room's picture window. "So now what?" Rin asked, in a tone considerably more subdued than her usual.
"I don't know," Hane admitted, shaking her head.
"Where are we going to go?" Hijiri asked. "We don't have enough money for another night in this establishment." Her eyes widened. "We have no money." She looked like she was about to start hyperventilating.
Chisame rolled her eyes. "Relax, Hijiri. Worse comes to worse, we should still have our tents -- we can always camp overnight."
"Besides, someone left us money for breakfast," Onsa pointed out. "Somebody is looking out for us."
"Well, whoever they are, they could be doing a better job of it," Rin snapped.
There was another knock and the door, and once again Hane got up from where she was sitting on the end of the bed to open it, to reveal Mister Hayakawa.
"Hayakawa!" Hijiri declared as if the simple presence of the butler was a lifeline. "Please tell us you have good news."
As Hane closed the door behind him, Mister Hayakawa calmly replied, "Yes... and no."
"No?" Chisame asked, an eyebrow raised.
He nodded, glancing around the room at them. "I have made several phone calls and learned a few things. For one, the Minowa conglomerate does not exist and never has."
Hijiri shot to her feet. "What?"
"There is not, and never has been, a Japanese zaibatsu by that name, and by extension there is no Minowa family. At least one of great wealth," he replied blandly.
"My family's gone?" Hijiri whispered.
"Well, that's just freaking great," Onsa growled. "Compared to that, what's the good news?"
Mister Hayakawa favored her with a faint smile. "When I returned to my room after my... investigations, I found this." He reached into his pocket and withdrew...
"That's my teacup!" Rin declared. And it was -- Hane recognized the Suzuki cup she'd given to Rin after receiving it from that biker with the robes and the halo that she'd helped on the road to Aomori that one time.
"Indeed it is," Hayakawa said, handing it over to her. "It was in my room, next to another stack of money, on top of this." He held up a sheet of what looked like parchment. "It is, as far as I can tell, an itinerary, sending us to a number of stops along a route that terminates in the state of Florida a week from now."
"Florida again!" Hijiri cried.
"Oh yeah," Onsa chuckled. "Somebody's got a plan for us."
"Someone who keeps breaking into Mister Hayakawa's room," Rin growled.
"While two of the stops are at motels where, it notes, reservations have been made for us," Mister Hayakawa continued, "the rest are at locations with quite odd names like 'The Steeple' and 'Gulfside Rest'. And the first stop, which we are apparently expected to reach by tonight, is 'Douglass Gardens Apartments' -- where, according to a note next to its name and those of its managers, 'All will be explained'."
Onsa laughed out loud. "Like I said, a plan!"
"So that's it?" Chisame asked. "We're just going to bike over to wherever this Douglass Gardens Apartments is?"
"New Jersey," Mister Hayakawa noted, "about five hours away to the south."
"Do you have anything better to do?" Onsa demanded of Chisame, who scowled at her.
"Do you know anything about driving in the United States?" she asked.
Onsa dug into her pocket and pulled out a little leather case, which she flung at Chisame. "I have a Japanese motorcycle license! I can go anywhere in the world."
"I don't think it works like that," Hane pointed out.
Meanwhile, Chisame was frowning at the contents of the case, which had landed open in her lap. "No, you don't, Onsa."
"What?" Onsa gave her a puzzled look. "Of course I do."
Chisame shook her head. "No, you have a Florida license." She held it up. "Driver License Class E, Motorcycle Only." She turned it around and peered at the front. "And according to this, you live at 809 SE 8th Ave, Okeechobee. Wherever that is."
Mister Hayakawa chuckled. "What a coincidence. That is the address of our ultimate destination."
"Gimme that." Onsa lunged across the bed and yanked the case out of Chisame's hands. "Damn," she said disconsolately. "The same lousy picture of me."
A quick check revealed that they all now had Florida licenses. Lime and Mister Hayakawa had full Florida driver licenses with motorcycle endorsements, meaning (Mister Hayakawa explained) that they were both permitted to drive cars as well as motorcycles. To her chagrin, Chisame had a motorcycle learner's license. (But according to her paperwork, Chisame had completed all the required courses and passed all the tests to convert her learner's license into a full license on or after her 17th birthday. So she was somewhat mollified, even if she had to wait nine months.) As for the rest of the club, like Onsa, they had full Florida "Motorcycle Only" licenses.
And all the paperwork had "809 SE 8th Ave, Okeechobee, FL" on it for their home addresses.
"Could they be forgeries?" Hijiri asked with that barely-restrained delight with which she approached anything that seemed the least bit "delinquent".
"I bet you'd be so disappointed if they weren't," Chisame muttered, and Hane giggled.
In the end, they ran out of reasons to delay. There was no point in staying here -- even with the money Mister Hayakawa had found, they didn't have enough for another night. They didn't have anywhere else to be, either, and they'd been promised an explanation by their mysterious benefactor at their first stop. Rin had suggested ignoring the itinerary and striking out at random, but only half-heartedly, and no one else thought that contrariness was a good enough reason to ignore the only lifeline they had in this weird, crazy situation.
They'd packed up, checked out of the motel, and mounted up. A few minutes later they were heading south along the Western Fall River Expressway, which was also Massachusetts State Route 79, enjoying the weather, the ride, and the view of the river to their right, chatting over the radio link along the way.
"All I'm saying is that whatever's waiting for us in Florida, it had better be worth the drive," Rin grumbled.
Hane laughed.
809 SE 8th Avenue
Okeechobee, Florida, USA
Saturday, September 17, 2016, 9:45 AM
There was, Molly decided, something distinctly odd about the guy who'd hired her father to do a little fix-up on the house around the corner, and then be something like a landlord for the people who were going to be moving in. There wasn't any one thing that she could put her finger on, but a whole lot of little things that just didn't add up.
She stretched out her legs in front of her as she sat on the hearth of the fireplace that took up nearly a third of the longest wall in the great room, pulled a scrunchy out of her pocket, and gathered her mane of red hair together into a long, thick ponytail with it. Then she leaned back against the cool stone and watched as the guy led her dad around the house, pointing out a host of little things that needed attention. He had a really deep voice, she noticed, that seemed out of place on a guy of decidedly medium height and (fit) build -- a build that was revealed nicely, in Molly's opinion, by the white leather motorcycle suit he wore.
And that was one of the odd things -- she'd never seen a pure-white head-to-toe full-body biking suit with matching boots before. (She was sure they must exist, but she'd never seen one in a catalog or a shop.) It looked absolutely brand new, without a speck of road dust or wear on it, either, even though she'd seen him drive up to their house on a simply massive black Suzuki Intruder. His beanie-style helmet was also pure white, with a green "crown of thorns" design on it that Molly was pretty sure Pastor Williams would call "sacrilegious".
As her dad and his new boss returned from the far end of the house Molly squinted and tried again to get a good look at the empty air above his head. She could almost but not quite see something floating there, and it was driving her nuts. It almost looked like a... a halo, of all things. But that was crazy. She sighed. Just one more oddity about this guy. "We're expecting the furniture to show up on the twenty-third," he was saying, showing her dad something on the tablet he was carrying. "Do you think you can get all that done by then?"
Her father thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, that's doable. Fortunately there's nothing really bad that needs attention, just little things. I'll assemble a small crew and we can get it all done, if not before Friday, then on Friday." He grinned at the other man. "We'll just work where the delivery guys aren't if it takes that long."
"Fair enough," he said with a chuckle. "Then I think we have a deal, Mister Ritter."
"Tom, please. And excellent," her dad said, smiling, as they shook hands. "Let's head back to my place and we can take care of the paperwork."
"Paperwork." The other man shook his head with a rueful smile, sending his shoulder-length hair swinging. "The bane of mortal man since at least the Romans."
Her father shrugged. "What can you do?" he asked, then looked over at her. "Well, sweetheart, we're done here."
Molly smiled, and climbed to her feet. "'Kay, Dad."
"I'm sorry I interfered with your plans for the morning," his boss said. "But I'm afraid it couldn't wait. Maybe it'd help if I mentioned there'll be five girls your age moving in next Saturday? I'm sure you'll become the best of friends."
"I don't know," Molly replied doubtfully. "What if we don't have any interests in common?"
"Oh, I don't think that will be a problem," he said. "They're all bikers like you and your dad."
Molly blinked. "In that case, you might be right."
- RMS: That's in Celsius, of course -- in Fahrenheit it would be low 70s vs low 80s, which were the actual temperatures for the locations and dates concerned.
- RMS: Chisame's father, Kinya Nakano, is a thinly-disguised version of retired Grand Prix motorcycle road racer Shinya Nakano.
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| 2016-10-31: Hallowe'en in Another Reality |
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Posted by: Bob Schroeck - 11-26-2024, 05:23 PM - Forum: Stories
- Replies (10)
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Hallowe'en in Another Reality
or
A Mingling of Misplaced Souls
by
Brent Laabs
Rob Kelk
Robert M. Schroeck
with
James Bostwick
Dartz
Inquisitive Raven
and other current and former posters to the Drunkard's Walk forums
Chapter 1. The Invitation
A place that would be seen by three-dimensional beings as the Yggdrasil control room
October 16, 2016
Out of necessity, all physical actions in this realm are being described as if they were their three-dimensional analogues.
"... We already lost the reality that was home to Bella and Edward[1] before anybody was displaced from it, and things are only going to get worse in the short term as mortals measure time," Peorth concluded her status report.
Urd nodded grimly. "Thank you, Peorth. Losing even one reality is a shame for us all; we need to do better. Belldandy, how are the displacees handling their time in Refuge?"
She smiled and spread her hands apart in a gesture that showed her reply would be mixed. "Some are doing well, some are doing poorly, and a few simply don't care."
"How can they not care?" Skuld asked.
"They don't know. There's one... dude?"[2] Puzzled, Belldandy double-checked her notes. "... 'dude', who's still bowling every week; he simply abides in a different version of Los Angeles. There isn't much that we can do for him or the others like him."
"That statement implies that you want to do something for the others," Urd didn't quite ask.
Belldandy nodded. "These people have what is to them a unique chance to meet people whom they consider to be fictional characters, and learn firsthand just how little they knew about these people from their stories. While we can't bring everyone together because of language barriers and space constraints, we can still let groups of them meet and learn about each other."
"That's a great idea!" Skuld said with a grin. "Getting them to meet each other in a relaxed atmosphere would be a good preparatory step before they need to work together in a fight, too. Where do we start?"
"We should begin with the English-speaking displacees," Peorth suggested. "They have been spread across two continents and some notable islands off the coast of a third; they're our single largest refugee group."
Skuld said, "You're talking about people who have been gifted with fluency in English, right? They're a big group, yes; there's literally hundreds of them with more arriving every week. Where can we get them all together right now?"
"That isn't an issue," Belldandy replied. "My husband and I live in a residence that can hold them all."
Peorth looked worried. "You aren't seriously considering gathering all of the displacees together, are you, ma cherie? We don't really want mortal enemies in the same place at the same time, do we?"
Skuld chuckled. "The fight might make for good entertainment. We'd almost definitely get a few einherjar out of it."
"We're too busy right now to indulge in your Valkyrie hobby of collecting fighters," Urd pointed out.
"It isn't a hobby!"
"Ladies!" They both turned to face Peorth. "We don't have time for this. And I begin to understand why you want to have a party, Belldandy."
"Is it that obvious?"
"Only to somebody who knows the three of you well. Each of you are working harder than the rest of us are, and it's beginning to show in your work. The three of you need to relax for an evening. As for how you relax, I think most of us agree that a fight to the death between displacees would be a bad thing at this point, no matter how many einherjar we would gain before Ragnarök. That still leaves hundreds of refugees who can meet without trying to rip each others' guts out of their bodies, and I think we're all agreed that this is a good idea for them to do so. It's also a good idea for them to have a chance to meet you socially."
Skuld smiled. "And imagine how many of them would be happy to meet the real Sailor Moon."
Belldandy sighed. "That poor girl will be run off her feet just meeting everyone. We'll need to be especially nice to her."
"She'd probably like having her boyfriend back in her life," Peorth suggested. "We'd best hold this get-together soon, before the guest list gets too long. When's the next holiday in the English-speaking world?"
Urd grinned. "Hallowe'en."
"You just like dressing up," Skuld muttered.
Belldandy ignored her younger sister. "I'll let Keiichi's building managers know that we want this to happen. Now, what do we do for the French-speaking displacees, or the Polish-speakers?"
"Same thing, different places," Peorth suggested. "And that would give the trainees and me our own chance to get away from the office for an evening."
"Why not?" Urd agreed.
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, NJ, USA
October 16, 2016
1:00 PM Eastern Time
"...Okay, then, let us know what works for you and I'll make sure that it syncs up with everyone else's schedules," Bob said, his cellphone at his ear. As his wife Peggy watched, he nodded, although the other person in the conversation wasn't there to see it. "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Cool. In that case, let me let you go. Take care, and let Aunt Linda know I said 'hi!'." He took the smartphone away from his face and stared its the screen just long enough to find and swipe the "end call" button.
"Well?" Peggy asked as the phone went black and he laid it down on the tabletop next to the remains of his lunch.
Bob smiled. "Uncle Arthur said he and Aunt Linda will be happy to come by the next time they're in the area and workshop with the bands."
"'Workshop'?" Peggy raised an eyebrow.
He laughed. "His word, not mine. Which is a lot more than I actually asked him to do."
Peggy nodded and sipped her coffee. "And when will they be coming?"
"They're not sure," Bob replied, shrugging. "No more than a few weeks was the best he could tell me right now. Before Thanksgiving at the latest. He'll check their schedule and get back to me." He grinned wickedly. "And then I tell the girls that I've arranged for a multiple-award-winning composer and arranger to work with them on their music."
"Yui'll go nuts," Peggy chuckled, then took another sip.
Bob gave her a flat look. "Yui would go nuts if you gave her a cracker with cheese on it." Peggy only barely avoided snorting into her coffee as he continued. "I'm coming to love that girl like a daughter, but she's the single most indiscriminately happy person I've ever met."
"Yeah, she is, isn't she?" Peggy said with a grin of her own.
Before Bob could reply, though, the phone on the "manager's desk" in the part of the first floor of their apartment that served as their office rang. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he jumped out of his chair and dashed over to the desk, where he picked up the handset and hit the "talk/on" button. "Douglass Gardens Apartments," he said brightly — he answered outside calls so infrequently that it wasn't a chore. "How may I help you?"
"Good afternoon, Bob! It's Belldandy." And indeed it was — there was no mistaking her voice, and Bob smiled. He could listen to her speak all day.
"Hi, Bell!" Peggy set her coffee down on the dining room table, tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at him. "I see by our caller ID you're not ringing us from your place, so I'm guessing this is a business call?"
She laughed. "Yes, and no. There's been some discussion here in the ... home office about getting as many of the displacees together as possible to meet each other. We think it will be an experience that most will appreciate, and it will also help with morale."
Bob saw where this was going and chuckled. "Let me guess. You want us to get out the guest linens and air out the spare room."
She laughed again, a silvery arpeggio. "Something like that, yes. We'd like you and Peggy to host a Halloween party for as many of the English-speaking displacees as care to attend."
"Aha! I knew there was a reason you saddled us with this monster complex! We're nothing but party central to you guys, aren't we?" He made sure his tone was light and teasing. Still standing at the door to the kitchen, Peggy tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. He hit "mute" and said, "Belldandy's asking if we'll host a big Halloween party for all the displacees."
"Find out if they'll be paying for it," she replied with a frown. "We can't cover something like that out of our budget."
"Right." Bob released the mute button. "Sorry, Bell, Peg wanted to know what was going on."
"Oh, that's all right," Belldandy said. "Well?"
"Well. I think we're okay with that." He glanced at Peg just to be sure, and she nodded once. "Yeah, I think we can do that for you. I'm just concerned about what it'll cost, and if maybe it's more than just two people can set up."
"Oh, of course. Well, we can help with the funding," she said, "and I'm sure Keiichi and Megumi will be happy to lend a hand."
"If we're asking them, we might as well as send out an all-call for volunteers to the entire complex," he mused. "It'd only be fair."
"Well, then," she said happily, "in that case it sounds like you've got the start of a plan!"
Bob laughed. "Oh, I wouldn't say that, yet. But we'll get there soon enough."
"Very good, and when you do, let us know what you'll need to cover costs."
"Will do. Is there anything else you wanted from us?" he asked.
"Oh, no, that's all. Thank you ever so much, Bob," she replied.
"All part of the service. And you know we could never say no to you, Bell."
She giggled. "In that case, I'll try not to abuse the awesome power at my fingertips. Good-bye, Bob!"
He rolled his eyes. "G'wan, get out of here, you troublemaker." She was still giggling when she hung up.
Bob put the handset back on the charger and looked over to Peggy, who was waiting patiently, cloth in hand. "Tag, we're it," he said. "We're the lucky winners of a Halloween Party, all assembly required."
"We've only got two weeks," she pointed out.
He nodded. "First things we need to do is round up volunteers and hit up all the other residences to see who's going to want to come. Then we can figure out what we need in the way of ... well, everything."
"How're they all going to get here? Charter planes and buses?"
"I haven't the faintest."
One of the advantages of Douglass Gardens having a modern PBX telephone network is that every apartment automatically got its own voice mailbox. From the master console program it was quite easy for Bob to send a message to every mailbox on the system, announcing that Belldandy had asked the managers — and by extension the residence as a whole — to throw a party, and requesting volunteers to help with setting it up.
While they waited for what they hoped were droves of willing and eager helpers, Peggy and Bob did some quick brainstorming. It would be insufficient to call the other residences and say "party on the 31st, no details yet", so they quickly established some specifics. A costume party on Halloween was pretty much a given. And after some discussion, they decided that making the party a potluck cut down substantially on both costs and effort, and would self-adjust for the number of attendees. Not to mention giving the attendees an extra reason to mingle and talk to each other. Peggy made a note to post a thread on the managers.yggdrasil discussion board where the attendees could sign up for specific dishes.
That settled, Bob printed out two copies of the latest list of residences, freshly downloaded off the managers' server. He mused at the necessity — the arrival of interdimensional refugees was practically a daily affair now, and it seemed like a new place opened up every week to house them. By the time they actually threw the party, there'd probably be two entire new households they'd need to invite at the last minute. Peggy sat down at the table in the dining area next to the "office", and Bob stepped over to hand her one of the sheets. "Here... you take everything from the Hangar on down, and I'll call everyplace above it."
She nodded, and dug out her cell phone. "Okay."
Before they could start calling, though, the doorbell rang. "Hi, Mr. Schroeck!" Ui chirped when Bob opened the door. She peered around him and waved at Peggy. "Hi, Mrs. Schroeck!" Looking back up at him — he wasn't a tall man, but for all that they were practically full-grown women, the Hirasawa sisters were tiny — she continued, "I got the message about volunteers for the Halloween party and wondered if you needed anything right away."
"Hey, Ui, come on in," he said as he stepped back and waved her in. Closing the door behind her Bob added, "Oddly enough, we could use another hand right now — we're calling the other residences and inviting them. Sit yourself down at the desk, take part of the list, and be your usual charming self on the phone."
He smiled as she blushed, and led her over to the desk which was the centerpiece of the "office" portion of the ground floor. A minute later they'd redistributed the numbers. He and Peggy still had the beginning and end of the list respectively, like before, but now Ui had the middle half-dozen residences. With three callers, the job should be a fast one.
"Mr. Schroeck," Ui asked on looking at her assignment, "is this telephone number supposed to have so many digits in it?"
"Huh?" Bob said. "Let me see." He looked over her head at the first entry on the sheet. "Ah, yeah, that's an international number — they're somewhere in Southeast Asia near Thailand, I think."
"Ah, okay," Ui said, nodding. "Okay, I think I've got this."
"Cool. And thanks for helping." With that Bob parked himself on a stool in the kitchen with his cellphone in hand, while Peggy had already seated herself at the table in the dining area. With the three of them separated widely enough that none of them would be inconveniently audible on the others' calls, they got to work.
Bob had his own international number to start his calls with. Consulting the printout in front of him every few digits, he slowly punched "011 353 089 011 0701" into his phone, and a few moments later he heard the distinct double-"brrrr" of the UK phone network's "ringing" sound.
7 Henrietta Street
Dublin, Ireland
6:20 PM Irish Standard Time
At the sound of the ringing phone, Meg raised an eyebrow. She rose from her seat and crossed to the side table where the phone — a near-antique hardwired land line — rested on a small table that pressed up against the water-damaged oak wainscoting.
"Seven Henrietta Street," she said upon lifting the receiver to her ear. "Meg Deckard speaking."
"Hello, Meg." A man's voice, with an American accent, vaguely familiar. "This is Bob Schroeck from Douglass Gardens. I hope I didn't interrupt your dinner."
Ah, that was why his voice was familiar — the various teleconferences over the past few weeks as they'd started thrashing out some manner of organization between the residences. "Hullo, Bob. No, we won't be eating for another hour or more, so you're fine. What brings you to call?"
"Well, at the request of the really upper management, we're going to be hosting a Halloween costume party for all the displacees, and naturally, you and yours are invited," he said briskly.
"In the U.S.?" she asked. "How would we get there?"
"I'm assuming the megami are handling that or having it handled," he said. "We were just asked to provide the venue."
Meg hmmm'ed for a moment. "Well, I'd need to check with everyone to be sure, but I think you can put us down as a 'yes'."
"Great!" There was a brief pause during which she heard the rustle of papers. "Oh, one more thing — it'll be a potluck. Once we're done with the invites we'll post something on managers.yggdrasil to work out who brings what."
"Grand," she replied. "I'll keep an eye out for it." Meg smirked as a thought struck her, and impishly added, "This isn't going to be a Buffy the Vampire Slayer-style Halloween, is it?"
"Jinx us, why don't you?" Bob shot back. "No, not if I have anything to say about it. Any more questions?"
Meg laughed. "No, I think that's it."
"All right, then, let me let you go." He chuckled. "I've got plenty of invites to make before the day is out. Take care and we'll see you in a couple weeks."
"Ah, and bye then."
"Kickstand Cottage"
809 SE 8th Avenue
Okeechobee, FL, USA
1:21 PM Eastern Time
Even though they'd been moved in to the house for over three weeks now, the sound of the phone ringing was still a surprise big enough to shock everyone into silence. Hane hopped out of her seat on the big couch in the family room and trotted over to the end table where a wireless handset sat in its charger.
"Helloooo!" she chirped as soon as she had it to her ear.
"Hi, this is Peggy Schroeck from Douglass Gardens."
"Hi, Peggy, it's Hane!" She cupped her hand over the receiver and hissed to the rest of the room, "It's Mrs. Schroeck from Douglass Gardens in New Jersey." Returning to the phone, she added, "What's up?"
"Oh, we just wanted to let you know we're holding a Halloween costume party on the 31st and everyone there, including the Ritters, is invited. Can we expect you?"
"Hold on." Hane turned to the rest of the room. "The Schroecks are inviting us to a costume party on Halloween. Do we want to go?"
The rest of the room burst into a chorus of approval, with Onsa's shout of "Oh yeah!" while pumping her fist in the air, being loudest. A moment later, a curious Hayakawa looked in, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. Hijiri quickly explained, and he nodded.
Hane grinned and returned triumphantly to the phone, "We'll have to ask Tom and Ellie later, but in case you couldn't hear that, everyone here thinks that's a great idea."
The Black Lagoon
Gulf of Thailand, 11° 56' 8.7288" N, 102° 35' 45.51" E
17 October 2016
12:22 AM Bangkok Time
Revy snarled her way to an unwanted wakefulness at the sound of the cell phone ringing. Dammit, she'd just barely gotten to sleep. She grabbed the phone from its charger, brushed her thumb across the "answer" button and brought it to the ear that wasn't still buried in her pillow. "You better have a damned good reason for calling at this hour, whoever you are."
"Um." A girl's voice, hesitant, tremulous, came through the phone. "Ms. Revy? This is Ui Hirasawa at Douglass Gardens Apartments in New Jersey."
"Yeah?" Revy growled. "The hell do you want?"
"Um... we're going to be holding a Halloween party, and we wanted to invite all the displacees at your residence to come?"
What the fuck...? Revy lifted the phone from her ear, stared at it for a moment, then replaced it. "Hell, no. Our idea of a party is nothing like yours, little girl. Go away and let me sleep." She disconnected the call and threw the phone across the cabin before burrowing back into her covers.
The Anything Goes Cafe
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
October 16, 2016
2:25 PM Atlantic Time
"Funtom Property Management, Antigonish building. What can I do for you?" Epsilon's voice, trained by years of telemarketing work, sounded polite and friendly.
"Hello, Aaron. It's Bob Schroeck calling from Douglass Gardens."
"Oh, hello, Bob!" Epsilon's voice immediately lost its professional tone, sounding more human instead. "What can I do for you?"
"We're going to have a Halloween party here, and Belldandy-sama has asked us to invite everyone in the other residences."
"Belldandy," Epsilon replied flatly.
Bob realized that he'd made a mistake; during the weekly managers' meetings, Epsilon always asked someone else (usually Rob at Blossom) to deal with Belldandy in his place. "But they aren't organizing the party. This is something that we're putting together ourselves."
"I suppose we... excuse me." The phone wasn't on mute, so Bob could hear one end of the interrupting conversation in Nova Scotia. "No, I gave the business licence to Cologne the day before yesterday. ... Aren't you the expert in restaurant management here? ... Try the Xaverian Weekly; they accept ads and everyone on campus gets a copy. I am in the middle of a call. ... No, you're busy. I'll make something later, thank you." Then there was silence for a short moment, followed by Epsilon's voice at full volume again. "Sorry about that, Bob. Shampoo wanted some help."
"That's all right. We're here for them, after all. I was about to ask whether you and your residents would be coming to the party on Halloween."
"I want to come, but I've just been reminded that we can't. Cologne, Shampoo, Mousse, and Ukyo are starting an Asian fusion takeout restaurant and they're still building customer goodwill." It sounded to Bob like Epsilon was making an excuse, but it was a good excuse. "And do you really want the others to show up without supervision?"
"Wouldn't Kasumi be able to supervise the Tendos and the Saotomes?" Bob asked.
"Kasumi," Epsilon replied, using the same tone that he'd used to refer to Belldandy earlier.
"No, I suppose she couldn't," Bob said quickly. What was it with Epsilon and characters played by Kikuko Inoue, anyway? Bob didn't have time to ask about it just then, and he didn't think it was his business anyway. But he had to wonder if Epsilon would have the same problem with Lobelia from Sakura Taisen or Baita from Bakuon!! "Maybe you'll be able to attend next time."
"Maybe. I'm sorry that we're too busy, Bob." There was what sounded like a small explosion at the Nova Scotia end of the conversation, followed by Epsilon muttering, "Which wall has Ryouga destroyed this time?"
"You sound like you've got your hands full. I'll let you go."
"Thanks. I'll talk with you at our next meeting. I have to go." And with that the cell connection abruptly dropped.
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 16, 2016
1:44 PM Eastern Time
Rob Donaldson looked at the call display on his cellphone, then tapped the speakerphone button. "Hi Bob! You're on speaker, and Mii-san is here."
"Hello, Mr. Schroeck!"
Contrary to expectations, Bob Schroeck's voice did not fill the room. Instead, they heard a rather pretty but not completely confident female voice. "Hello, Mr. Donaldson. Mr. Schroeck asked me to call you. I'm Ui Hirasawa. I hope I'm not interrupting anything important." She almost sounded like she was in a call centre; Rob could hear Bob and Peggy talking on calls in the background.
"That depends on how you define 'important', Ms. Hirasawa," Rob replied, using the same level of formality that she was using. "Mii Konori and I are finishing off some paperwork for Funtom Property Management Canada."
"That sounds important. Maybe I should call back...?"
Rob thought that this didn't sound like the self-confident Ui Hirasawa he knew of from watching K-On!, but her voice sounded like Ui's in the anime. And his contract said he was hired to help the displacees, so if Ui had a problem, then it might be his responsibility to help. Maybe. "Talking with a displacee, any displacee, is more important than my paperwork, Ms. Hirasawa. Is there anything I can do to help you?"
Mii whispered, "Should I leave?"
"Not yet," Rob whispered back.
"Thank you for asking," Ui said more confidently than she sounded before. "You're much kinder than Ms. Revy was."
"Revy? Of the Black Lagoon? You called Revy?"
"Just before I called you, yes."
"Oh, my," Rob said. "Who let Revy pick up the phone? She's the least personable person aboard that boat. Ms. Hirasawa, I promise you that I will not react the way that she did."
"Thank you!" Ui said with obvious relief.
Mii quietly made a note to avoid speaking with this "Revy" person if at all possible.
"Now, is there a problem at Douglass Gardens that Bob can't help you with?"
"Actually, I'm helping Mr. Schroeck," she replied. "And it isn't with a problem. It's an invitation. We're having a Halloween party."
"That sounds like fun," Mii said. "Why are we being invited to it?"
"Mr. Schroeck said that Belldandy-sama insisted. We're inviting everybody. Belldandy-sama also insisted on that. I've been told that she wants everybody to get to know each other. Would you want to come to the party? All of you, not just Mr. Donaldson?"
Rob nodded in agreement, not that Ui could see him. "So it's our turn to grant Belldandy a wish? Sure, why not? Speaking for myself, I'd love to attend. And I'm sure that at least some people at other residences would love to meet Usagi-chan in person while they have the chance."
"'Usagi-chan'? Tsukino Usagi-san? Sailor Moon?!"
Rob chuckled. "It sounds like you're one of those people, Ms. Hirasawa. Yes, Sailor Moon."
"I'd like to meet everybody, too," Mii added. "We'll need transportation, though. It is a school night."
"Mr. Schroeck hasn't told me how that will be arranged, yet."
Rob shrugged his shoulders. "Well, if necessary, the ladies can take two days off school and I can drive six hours each way on I-81 if I have to." Then he had a thought. "Considering that involvement by the megami means there's already a supernatural element to the party, I have to ask: This isn't going to be a Buffy Halloween party, is it?"
"What's a Buffy Halloween party?"
"One with supernatural shenanigans that inconvenience the party-goers."
"Oh, I hope not."
"So do I. Let Bob know that Mii and I will tell the other girls about the party, and I expect we'll all be there."
"Certainly, Mr. Donaldson. Oh, we're planning on it being a potluck."
"We have a pastry chef in training resident here. No doubt Mako-chan would love to make some sweets for you. And before you ask, yes, she's Sailor Jupiter."
"I'll mention that to Mr. Schroeck. Um... what you said earlier..."
He heard the hesitation in her voice, and assumed that the call had gone from being about the party to being about the caller and a possible problem. "Yes?"
"Is it strange for a resident to help a building manager?"
"Not at all," Mii replied before Rob could. "I'm a resident here, and I'm helping Rob-san. He's helping me with tuition here, so helping him is the least I can do."
"It's more like your working here part-time is a justification for me paying you. I'd still help out as much as I can, but this makes it easier to explain to the upper management." Or lower management, in the case of the demons, but Rob thought that Ui didn't need to know that part of the arrangements. And with that thought, he turned his attention back to the call. "Ms. Hirasawa, I do have one more question."
"What is it?"
"It's an interrogative sentence designed to elicit information," Rob said. "But that's not important right now."
Ui giggled. "Mr. Donaldson, are all of the residence managers like you and Mr. Schroeck?"
"No, Ms. Hirasawa. Bob and I have known each other for years, so some of our personality traits have rubbed off onto each other."
"Ah, I understand. What's your question?"
"Will we have a chance to hear Wakaba Girls play during the party?"
The line was silent for a moment, then Ui asked, "You want to hear us play? Wakaba Girls? Not Hokago Tea Time?"
"Well, I'd like to hear them play too, but I do want to hear your band play, please."
"I'll ask the others, but I think we can do that, Mr. Donaldson. Thank you for asking! Oh, but I should be calling other residences, not continuing to talk with you. Good-bye, Ms. Konori and Mr. Donaldson."
"Until we talk again, Ms. Hirasawa."
Once the call ended, Mii said, "That was kind of you, asking to hear her play. They're an amateur band, you know."
"I know. But the poor dear needed a confidence boost after speaking with Revy, and I do want to hear their band's music at least once."
Douglass Gardens
1:43 PM Eastern Time
"Bob, is this a joke?"
"Huh?" Bob looked up from the next number on his list of residences. Over at the desk, Ui looked up as well. "Is what a joke?"
Peggy waved her list. "Is Jenny Everywhere's number really 867-5309?"[3]
Ui looked confused. Bob sighed.
Live Oak Manor
Vicksburg, Mississippi, USA
October 16, 2016
1:45 PM Eastern Time
Jenny Everywhere snagged the phone just before it rang. "Live Oak Manor, Jenny speaking."
"Hi, Jenny! It's Peggy Schroeck at Douglass Gardens,"
"Hey, Peggy, nice to finally meet you, kind of." Jenny settled herself into the closest chair and got comfortable. "What brings you to call?"
"Oh, we're hosting a potluck costume party on Halloween," Peggy said. "We got voluntold by Belldandy," she added with a chuckle. "I'm surprised you guys don't already know and have all your costumes already, what with being time travelers and all."
Jenny laughed. "Oh, it doesn't work like that, unfortunately. The Celestials have us locked down to keep us from messing things up worse than they already are."
"I suppose that makes sense," Peggy mused. "So anyway, we're calling all the residences we know of to invite everyone. Can we expect you?"
Jenny nodded to herself. "I'll have to double check with everyone here, but put us down for a strong tentative yes."
"Great!"
"It's not going to be a Buffy Halloween party, is it?" Jenny added impishly.
"Huh? Let me ask Bob," Peggy replied, and before Jenny could tell her it was a joke, the line was muted. A few moments later, it unmuted. "Bob says no, and why are so many people asking?" Peggy sounded genuinely confused.
Jenny couldn't help herself — she laughed.
Appartements Mont-Royal Sud
Montréal, QC, Canada
October 16, 2016
1:49 PM Eastern Time
«3487 rue Parc. Allô!» Cassiopée said into the receiver.
«Allô,» a man's voice responded. «Um, voici Bob Schroeck chez, um, de Douglass Gardens en les États-Unis...»
"Oh, hello, Bob," she said, switching to English.
He sighed in obvious relief. "Hello, Cassiopée. Thank you for sparing both of us my badly-remembered high school French."
Cassiopée laughed. "Gladly. What brings you to call?"
"Ah, at the request of certain persons who shall remain Celestial, we're going to be holding a Halloween costume party for all the residents in the network. And of course you and your band of merry pranksters are invited. Oh, and Grahame, too, of course."
"That sounds delightful," she said.
Callahan's Bar
Rocky Point, NY
1:51 PM Eastern Time
Mike pulled the cordless handset out from under the bar and thumbed it on as he brought it to his ear. "Callahan's, Mike speaking."
"Hello, Mr. Callahan!" The sweet voice of a teenaged girl came across the line. "This is Ui Hirasawa calling from Douglas Gardens in New Jersey." This early in the day the Place was only sparsely populated, and there was no background ruckus to drown her out.
"Well, good afternoon, Miss Ui. What can I do for you?"
"Our residence is going to be throwing a Halloween party — a costume party — on the 31st," she chirped. "And we wanted to invite you and your family. Do you think you can make it?"
Mike sighed. "Unfortunately we're far too busy on a night like Halloween to get away for a party. But thank you for thinking of us."
"Oh, that's too bad." She sounded sincerely distressed, and Mike smiled at the empathy in her voice.
"Now don't you worry about us, young lady," he reassured her. "I run a merry place here, and we'll be celebrating in our own way. And I'll see to it that we keep you in mind while we do."
Phantomhive Manor
Lamberhurst, Tunbridge Wells
Kent, UK
5:56 PM Greenwich Time
The telephone barely had had time to ring before Sebastian had lifted the receiver from the hook. "Phantomhive Manor," he said briskly and professionally. A butler who can't properly answer his employer's phone isn't worth his salt, after all.
"Good afternoon, Sebastian. This is Peggy Schroeck from Douglass Gardens Apartments in the United States."
"Hello, Mrs. Schroeck," Sebastian replied. "May I inquire what brings you to call the Manor this pleasant Sunday afternoon?"
"Ah, well, we'll be throwing a costume party on Halloween, and we wanted to invite you and Lord Phantomhive."
A small but pleased smile crossed the demon's face. "I do believe my master's schedule is free that evening. I will confirm with him, but unless you hear otherwise from me, you may count on our attendance."
"Oh, good," crackled over the transAtlantic connection. "Now, the party is a potluck, but we wouldn't expect Lord Phantomhive to have to bring a..."
"Nonsense!" Sebastian interrupted her. "Let me know where and when to choose a contribution. Rest assured we will arrive with something to share with everyone."
"Oh, thank you, Sebastian!" Peggy's smile was audible. "We'll be putting a signup on the managers' board shortly."
"Excellent. In that case, unless there is anything else, allow me to bid you good-bye and good evening."
"And to you, too, Sebastian," Peggy replied. "We'll look forward to seeing you."
Aria House
Venice Beach, California, USA
10:57 AM Pacific Time
Bob wasn't expecting the sweet voice who answered, "Brent's phone, Alicia speaking."
"Oh, um, hello. You must be Alicia Florence, right?"
"Right." She glanced at the name on the phone. "Do I know you, Bob?"
"I'm Bob Schroeck, co-manager of Douglass Gardens Apartments. I have the same job as Brent."
"Ara, of course!"
"Can I speak to Brent?"
"Well, he's a little bit buried in sand at the moment – let me see if I can get the phone down to him."
Bob explained, "Well, I just wanted to invite you all to a Halloween party here in New Jersey."
"Oh, that sounds lovely. We're having a little party of our own right now, but it would be nice to meet you all. Ara, it looks like he's getting out of the hole."
Tomo's yell made it across the phone line, "IT'S A SAND MONSTER, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"
Alicia spoke, "Hold on just a minute, please."
A few seconds later, Brent Laabs was on the line. "Hey Bob, what's up?"
"I was just about to ask you if you wanted to bring everyone to a Halloween party here in Somerset. You know, let our tenants get to meet other people like themselves."
"Cool. But how are we going to travel there, deep in the heart of Jersey?"
"Where the city rats run in big packs, deep in the heart of Joisey?"
Brent chuckled. "Heh, you like that song, too."
"Oh yeah, it's a classic. Uncle Floyd for the win."
"I probably heard it because you posted it on the forums, didn't I?"
"Probably."
"Great tune, bad it isn't a answer. Flights from LAX to New York for everybody won't be cheap, and then we'd have to rent a van to get the rest of the way there."
"You don't want to do that. Go to Newark Liberty. It's only half an hour away. If you arrive at JFK or LaGuardia, you'll have to spend at least a couple of hours just driving across most of New York City — and not the scenic parts," Bob advised. "Considering the goddesses want this party to happen, though, I'd be surprised if they weren't making arrangements for everybody."
A few cheers were picked up on the phone's mic.
"Sounds like we're coming."
Bob spoke, "Great, I'll see you there. I'll email you the details."
"Before you go, I do have one question though: It's not going to be a Buffy Halloween, is it?"
"Now why is everyone asking me that question?" Bob grumbled in jest.
Gulfside Rest
Pensacola Beach, FL, USA
2:00 PM Eastern Time
The phone rang while Harley was finishing up the dishes from lunch. He slid a damp sandwich plate into the drying rack, slung the dishcloth over one overlarge shoulder, and snagged the wall phone from where it hung on the opposite wall of the kitchen. "Yo," he said. "Harley here."
"Mr. Waters? This is Ui Hirasawa from Douglass Gardens in New Jersey."
"It's just 'Harley', Ms. Hirasawa," he corrected gently. "'Mr. Waters' is my father."
"Oh, I'm sorry!" she squeaked.
"Nah, 's okay, you didn't know," he replied. "So what can I do you for?"
"Er... I'm not sure I understand..."
Harley chuckled. "That's just a spoonerism that some of my friends say on purpose. What can I do for you?"
"Oh, right! I'm calling to let you know that Douglass Gardens is throwing a potluck costume party on Halloween, and that you and your tenants are all invited."
He ran his free hand through his beard. "Sounds like fun, but how are we going to get there?"
"Well, Mr, and Mrs. Schroeck were asked to throw this party by Belldandy," Harley's eyebrows rose in surprise, "so we're assuming she's got something in mind." She paused a moment in an almost audible shrug. "We just don't know what yet."
Harley nodded to himself. "Well, then, Ms. Hirasawa, assuming there's a way for us to get there that doesn't involve a few thousand dollars in airfare, I think we'd be happy to attend."
The Banzai Institute for Biomedical Engineering and Strategic Information
Somerset, NJ, USA
2:03 PM Eastern Time
When the phone rang, Eunice closed the copy of Microsoft Office for Dummies she had been reading for the last couple hours, lifted the phone's handset and hit the blinking button for the inbound line. "Banzai Institute," she announced in a practiced cadence. "Mrs. Johnson speaking. How may I direct your call?"
"Hello, Mrs. Johnson, this is Bob Schroeck at Douglass Gardens, just down the street from you." There was the briefest pause, and he added, "Don't tell me they have you working on a Sunday afternoon."
She laughed. "Oh, no, I'm not working — but I am in my office catching up on new software. And when the main line rings, it lights up on my phone here."
"Fair enough," Mr. Schroeck said. "So, the reason I'm calling is that we'll be throwing a costume party on Halloween, and we wanted to extend an invite to Team Banzai and the members of the Institute."
"Oh, I'm afraid we'll have to decline," Eunice replied instantly. "The Cavaliers are booked for a show that night."
"Ah, of course. Well, in that case I'll let you get back to what you were doing."
She shrugged, even though there was no one to see her. "Sorry, I'm sure we would have had fun. Good-bye."
"Later," he said and the line dropped. Eunice set the receiver down in its cradle with a thoughtful look.
Douglass Gardens
2:06 PM Eastern Time
Ui checked the next number on her list and confirmed she'd read the address correctly. "Mr. Schroeck?" she said when she saw he had just hung up.
He looked up at her. "Yes, Ui?"
"What time is it in..." She glanced down at the sheet again. "Adelaide, Australia?"
"Mm. Let me check," he said, turning his attention to his cell phone. A few fingertaps, and he nodded. "It's about 3:30 AM there right now," he said without looking up.
She bit her lip. "Maybe we should wait to call them?"
Bob looked up. "I don't think that you need to worry about waking anyone up — there's supposedly someone on duty around the clock who can answer the phone."
"Oh, okay, then!" she said with a smile.
"The Hangar"
Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
3:38 AM Australian Central Daylight Time
Night watch in a facility that has yet to see anything close to action is one of the more boring duties a soldier can undertake. Kurz Weber and Melissa Mao were sharing the duty this night — their compatriot Sousuke Sagara had school in the morning and thus was spared the task — and they had reached the point of maximum boredom (for Kurz) and annoyance (for Melissa, with Kurz). While she cleaned her sidearm at her desk in the office that overlooked the Hangar's large open maintenance floor, she glared at Kurz, who had his feet up on his desk, leaning back in his chair with his arms folded behind his head.
The unexpected ringing of the external phone line was like a jolt of caffeine, shocking them both to a higher state of alertness than they had possessed a moment before. With a devil-may-care casualness that grated on Melissa's nerves, Kurz reached out and smacked both the the "answer" and "speaker" buttons. Folding his arms back behind his head, he announced, "Madman Omar's House of Iniquity, Omar speaking."
"Kurz!" Melissa snarled, and he shot her a grin.
"Um, what?" what sounded like a confused teenage girl said on the other end. "Is... is this the Hangar?"
"Yes, this is the Hangar," Melissa said in a softer but still professional tone. "Pay no attention to the idiot there."
Kurz clasped a hand to his chest. "Mao! I'm hurt!"
"Not yet you aren't," she hissed at him, "but keep it up and you will be!"
The unknown girl giggled nervously at the exchange before tentatively saying, "So, um, hi? This is Ui Hirasawa at Douglass Gardens in the United States."
"What can we do for you, sweetheart?" Kurz smarmed, and Melissa wished she was close enough to kick him.
"Um..." Melissa scowled. Whoever the girl was, she didn't have any defenses against Kurz's lech act, and it was audible in her voice. "I'm calling to invite everyone there to a Halloween costume party at Douglass Gardens?"
"Really?" Melissa asked. "You're inviting people halfway around the world from you? How are we supposed to get there?"
"Well, Belldandy asked Mr. and Mrs. Schroeck to throw the party, so we think she has something planned for that."
Belldandy, huh? Melissa had been in the military long enough to recognize an order disguised as a suggestion, and if a goddess was having a party thrown, attendance was no doubt required. The Captain would almost certainly agree. "In that case... Thank you for the invitation, Ms. Hirasawa. The two of us here can't formally accept it — we'll have to pass it on to Captain Holder for that — but just between us I think it's likely we'll all be coming, so it's probably safe to mark us down as a tentative yes."
"Just so long as it's not a Halloween like on Buffy the Vampire Slayer!" Kurz added.
The girl on the other end laughed. "It seems like everyone's asking about that!" she said with a little giggle in her voice. "No, we're pretty sure it's not. Anyway, thank you! Good-bye now!"
"Good-bye," the two of them replied and the line dropped.
Melissa glared at Kurz. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" she demanded.
"Hey," he replied, "It was funny. And apparently something other people were actually worried about." He gestured casually. "Don't get on my case. She wasn't offended or upset. I mean, just imagine if Sousuke'd picked up the call — she'd have been traumatized and he'd have been completely baffled."
Melissa rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but give a small chuckle at that. "Oh, yeah." She pitched her voice lower. "'Is this a mandatory training exercise? I do not understand the purpose of this gathering.'"
Kurz added, "'Are these strangely-dressed individuals valid targets? I do not recognize what force they are part of.'"
Melissa laughed and nodded. "We're going to have to make sure he's as disarmed as we can possibly get him."
The Steeple
Philadelphia, PA, USA
2:10 PM Eastern Time
Heather Raven put her bottle of cold brew iced tea down on her desk and started going through her paperwork for Funtom Property Management. The paperwork for the van was particularly messy. She needed to arrange for the adult Takamachis to get their driver's licenses so she could put them on the insurance.
She was wrestling with PennDOT's website when the phone rang.
Heather snagged the phone on the first ring. "Steeple. Heather Raven speaking."
"Hi, Heather. This is Peggy at Douglass Gardens. How're you doing?"
"I'm doing all right," she admitted.
"Good!" Peggy replied. "I'm calling because we're throwing a costume party on Halloween and you and your residents are invited."
Heather raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me this isn't going to be a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Halloween."
Peggy laughed. "Well, given how many other people have asked..."
"Well, how many of them were interviewed by a character from Buffy?"
"Really? Who?"
Heather considered how to explain her situation. "D'Hoffryn, lord of the Vengeance demons. His servants specialize in Monkey Paw wishes. No, wait. Monkey Paw wishes are safer."
"Yeah, I guess you have good reason to worry. But no, this is happening at the request of Belldandy, and we're pretty sure she's not going to let anything like that happen."
Heather allowed herself to relax. "Well, that's a relief."
Peggy chuckled. "So, that dealt with, I need to tell you that it's a potluck."
"Okay... Mrs. Takamachi's a professional chef."
Heather's cat climbed into her lap and attempted to move from there to the desktop.
"Cool. If she's willing to help out, then you're covered," Peggy said. "No need to worry about exactly what you'll be bringing yet... we'll put a sign-up sheet on the managers' system once we're done with all the invites."
Heather thought for a moment as she removed the cat's front paws from her keyboard. "Okay... There's a brew supply shop nearby where I can probably get a giant tank of CO2 and attach it to my SodaStream to keep us in carbonated drinks for the teetotalers."
"That's going to be at least half of the guests, so that's great. Don't forget to add it to the sign-up."
"I won't," Heather said.
"I'd ask you if you had any more questions, but that's about all the answers we have at this point."
"I was about to ask about getting there, actually," Heather offered. "I mean, we're in Philadelphia so getting someplace in Jersey isn't too hard, but I might need directions."
"Well, we can get you directions, but we're figuring that the goddesses have something in mind, given we're inviting everyone including the folks in Australia. Don't plan on driving just yet."
Heather nodded, even though Peggy couldn't see her. "Gotcha."
"Well, that's about everything then... I have one more to call to make, so I'll let you go."
"All right, I'll see you later."
"Yeah, in person finally! In two weeks! Bye now." Click.
Heather made a note on her calendar and returned to the PennDOT website after once more removing the cat from the keyboard.
Ben Rose House
Highland Park, IL, USA
1:13 PM Central Time
Oh, hey, readers. Ferris Bueller here. It's about time the authors got back to us folks in Chicagoland. I mean, six short paragraphs in Everyone's a Critic? That's hardly even a cameo. But I get it — they're juggling more than seven hundred people, and not everyone is going to be center stage all the time. (Although if you ask me, the girls at Blossom Apartments are getting more than their fair share of stories...)
Anyway, Cameron, Sloane and I have finally started settling in since we arrived not quite two weeks ago. Lately we've been feeling out our new roommates Bean, Rally and May, who just showed up on Thursday and are still getting used to the idea of Refuge, let alone sharing a house with three strangers. Yeah, everyone is getting used to everyone else. The last thing any of us were expecting at this point was an invite to a party, but... I'd shrug here but you wouldn't see it.
So it was right after lunch and we were cleaning up when the phone rang. I was closest to the kitchen phone, so I dropped my dishtowel on the countertop and picked it up. "Ben Rose House," I said, overriding my natural impulse to say "Frye home". "Ferris Bueller speaking."
"Oh! Hi." An older man, sounding somewhat surprised. "Wasn't expecting you to pick up. This is Bob Schroeck, one of the managers at Douglass Gardens in New Jersey."
"Hi, Bob," I said and grinned at the memory of a certain drinking game. "Douglass Gardens — that's where all the musicians are, isn't it?" Sloane and Cameron were giving me inquiring looks, so I covered the mouthpiece and whispered, "It's the manager from New Jersey."
"Yeah," he said as I shifted my attention back to the call. "And comic book artists, and magic knights, and psychics. You know, just everyday folks."
I chuckled. "Right. Just like us here."
"Hey, you said it, not me," he replied with a chuckle of his own. "Anyway, I'm calling because we're throwing a costume party on Halloween, and you and your housemates are invited. Can we expect you?"
"Hold on," I said. "Let me ask." I put my hand over the mouthpiece again. "We've been invited to a Halloween party in New Jersey. Want to go?" I asked the room at large
"Oh, definitely," Sloane squealed. Cameron nodded his head slowly and thoughtfully before declaring "Yes".
I glanced over at the table where Bean, Rally and May still sat. "How about you guys?"
Rally and May traded looks before saying "Yes" together.
Bean shrugged and said, "I suppose."
Lifting my hand from the mouthpiece, I said, "Looks like we're all up for it. Six of us just in case you didn't hear that we got three new people a couple days ago."
"Got it," Bob said. "Marking that down now. As for getting here, well, we're doing this at Belldandy's request," I raised an eyebrow at that, "and we're assuming she's making arrangements to get everyone here and back again, even the folks in Australia."
"Well, that's good to know," I said. "Is that it, then?"
There was a pause on the other end, and then Bob said, "Nah, that's it. We'll see you in two weeks. Later!"
"Bye!" And he hung up. Good. For a moment there I thought he was going to ask about you guys, and then what would I say?
The Masaki Home
Coquitlam, British Colombia, Canada
11:16 AM Pacific Time
As the refrigerator door shut behind her the house phone rang. Garnett snagged the receiver with one hand while setting down the miso Sasami had requested on the counter next to the other ingredients for lunch. "Masaki Home for the Romantically Entangled. Garnett Iwasaki speaking."
"Good morning, Ms. Iwasaki!" A girl's voice, bright and cheery. She sounded a bit younger than Garnett. "This is Ui Hirasawa at Douglass Gardens in New Jersey."
"Good morning, Ui. You're one of the K-On! girls, aren't you?" Garnett slid down the counter to give Sasami more room to work. "What's up?"
"Oh, yes, I am! I'm helping out Mr. and Mrs. Schroeck — Belldandy asked them to throw a party on Halloween, and we're calling all the residences to invite everyone. So... you're invited? All of you?"
Garnett chuckled. "Well, thank you, and thank the Schroecks for me. I don't want to speak for everyone without checking first, but I think it's likely we'll all want to go." Washuu strolled into the kitchen and poked her head into the refrigerator, clearly looking for a snack.
"Oh, good!" There was a pause, then, "Okay, so, it's going to be a potluck, and they'll be posting a signup sheet on the managers' board by tonight. Oh, and it's a costume party, too."
"Sounds fun," she said with a smile. "So, how are you getting people there? I mean, we'll probably have Ryo-Ohki fly us over, but..."
"Are you talking about the Halloween party?" Washuu had pulled her head out of the refrigerator and was now looking at her with eyebrows raised.
"Hold on, Ui," Garnett said, then put a hand over the mouthpiece. "Yes, we just got invited." She frowned minutely. "How did you hear about it?"
Washuu waved a hand breezily. "The goddesses contacted me and asked me if it would be difficult to set up portals connecting all the residences to Douglass Gardens. Pfft! Like it's a challenge!" She spun on her heel and wandered out the kitchen, taking big crunching bites out of whatever it was that she'd found in the fridge.
Garnett blinked, then removed her hand from the phone. "Did you hear that?"
"Um, no?"
"Washuu says the goddesses asked her to set up portals to connect all the other residences to yours for the party."
"Oh! That'll be handy!" Ui chirped happily, then shifted gears abruptly. "Mouuuu...."
"What?" Garnet asked.
"That means we have to call everyone again to let them know!"
Douglass Gardens
2:20 PM Eastern Time
"Good news, everyone!" Ui announced as she hung up her most recent call.
Bob and Peggy looked up. "What?" Bob asked.
"Washuu says she's been asked to set up portals connecting everyone to us for Halloween."
Bob glanced at Peggy. "Well, that solves that problem."
"What, do we have to call everyone back now?" she asked, frowning. Ui nodded solemnly.
He shrugged. "If you want, but mentioning it when we post the signup sheet for the potluck should serve just as well."
Warehouse 13
Boston, Massachusetts, USA
2:21 PM Eastern Time
Robert Thompson hit the speaker button almost as soon as the phone began to ring. "Warehouse 13. Kestrel speaking."
"Hi, um, Kestrel? This is Peggy Schroeck from Douglass Gardens."
He smiled to himself and leaned back in his chair. One thing to say for this job, they understood that a programmer needed a really good chair to work in. "Good afternoon, Peggy, nice to speak to another of my fellow managers."
"Oh, yes, nice to speak to you, too," she said.
"What brings you to call?"
"Well, we've been asked by Belldandy to throw a Halloween party for all the displacees and managers," she explained, "and we wanted to invite you."
He sighed. "That's kind of you, Peggy, but I don't think that's going to work out. You have to understand, I'm not so much a manager like you and Bob as a prison warden. Most of my 'residents' can't be trusted outside the Faraday cage that lines the entire building. And even if they could, most of them are pretty much immobile and can't interact in the physical world anyway. The ones that can are the ones I'd never let do so." He shrugged, even though she couldn't see him. "So thanks, but we'll have to take a pass."
"Even just you yourself can't get away?" she asked, a little plaintively he thought.
He sighed again, shaking his head with a rueful smile. "Like I said, Peggy, I'm the warden. Some nights I can sleep in my own bed, but other times it might be days before I can go home. It depends on how much trouble my... inmates are making. I don't want to plan to be away for any length of time in case they take it as a cue to try something."
Peggy didn't say anything for long enough that Kestrel started to wonder if they'd gotten disconnected. "That sounds... unpleasant," she finally said.
"It is what it is," he replied matter-of-factly. "And it's not all bad. Strange as it sounds, I love what I'm doing. It's just that I can't let my guard down. Maybe someday — in a few months, a year — but not this Halloween, no. Thanks, though."
"All right, then, I guess I'll mark you guys down as 'no'," Peggy said reluctantly. "You have a good Sunday afternoon, Kestrel."
"You, too, Peggy." The line dropped and the phone automatically hung up. Kestrel took a deep breath then leaned back in his chair and studied the bare brick of his office walls.
Douglass Gardens
2:25 PM Eastern Time
Peggy crossed out Kestrel and Warehouse 13 on the sheet in front of her, then looked up. Ui she knew had finished her calls, and Bob looked like he had, too. "We're done?" she asked.
"Yep," Bob said. "I left an invite on Artie Duncan's machine, more for politeness' sake than anything, since the Artery's had posters up for their Halloween bash for a couple weeks now. Far as everyone else is concerned? Well, we're still waiting for some tentative yesses to turn into confirmed ones, but we at least have a ballpark number of guests to work with, and we can start figuring out what we need in the way of ... oh, I don't know. Do we need some kind of permit from the town for an outdoor party this size? It certainly won't fit in the community center." He shook his head. "Tables, chairs, tents, those foil Sterno-heated trays for food... Those propane-powered outdoor heater things." He frowned. "More stuff to figure out."
"Oh!" he continued. "And before I forget... Ui, I'm sorry — I should have paid more attention to what I was doing and not included the Black Lagoon on your list."
Ui's face was blank with surprise for a moment, then she launched herself from behind the desk to wrap Bob in a hug. "That's okay! Anyone can make a mistake," she declared. "And I'm sure that whoever called, she still would have yelled at them." She released Bob and stepped back.
Bob shot a look at Peggy, then shrugged. "If you say so, Ui. But I wouldn't blame you if you were still upset."
"Oh, I could be," she chirped. "But I'm too busy looking forward to all the people I'm going to meet in two weeks!"
Bob grinned. "Honestly, Ui? So am I."
While almost everyone was fairly enthusiastic about attending (and meeting other people in the same situation as themselves), a few individuals saw fit to decline their RSVPs. Touya Kinomoto more regretfully declined to attend, as he had part time work scheduled, bearing silver platters of hors d'oeuvres at a fancy Hollywood party. Yukito Tsukishiro decided to stay behind and hand out candy at Aria House, though pretty much everyone knew that it was just an excuse to get more time alone with Touya.
And at Aria House, Tomoyo Daidouji's sewing machine was worked so hard by its owner making costumes that she nearly drove it to destruction.
The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed. — Steven Wintle
- Twilight and the characters thereof are copyright © 2005-2008, 2015, 2020 by Stephanie Meyer, and are used without permission.
- The Big Lebowski and the characters thereof are copyright © 1998 by Working Title Films, and are used without permission.
- RMS: For our younger readers who may not recognize the reference or understand why Peggy thinks this is a joke, "867-5309/Jenny" was a huge hit in 1981 for the band Tommy Tutone.
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