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+---- Thread: ROTFL, Part II (/showthread.php?tid=818)
Re: never cut twice - HoagieOfDoom - 11-16-2005
Occasionally I like to hunt through FFnet and read the summaries because some are so bad they're funny. Like this tag I've seen on multiple summaries:
WARNINGThis fic is addictive!*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org
Re: never cut twice - drakensis - 11-19-2005
Something Grim This Way Comes
www.fanfiction.net/s/2666277/1/
Ruskbyte's new fic.
"You aren't planning on reaping any students, are you?"
"Not unless it's their time," replied Grim.
"And if it is their time?"
"If dey gotta go, dey gotta go."
"Well, in that case... Grim, if you really don't want to be a student, and as I suspect forcing you to leave will not be within my abilities," considered Dumbledore thoughtfully, "then I suppose we'll simply have to treat you as one of the children's pets."
"What!"
Dumbledore nodded, as if this peculiar conclusion were perfectly logical, and began to make his way back to his place at the staff table. "Yes," he concluded, "you can move into the first-year Gryffindor boys dormitory as Mister Potter's pet, or I suppose we should call you his familiar."
"AAH! GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR! PUT HER IN GRYFFINDOR, LIKE POTTER WANTED!" the hat screamed at the top of its non-existent lungs, it's voice filled with unbridled terror. "PUT HER ANYWHERE, ANY HOUSE, JUST DON'T PUT ME ON HER HEAD!"
No Quarter, NO QUARTER! You damn well earned your fate.
Give Harrington our compliments; we're sorry you are late.
- No Quarter, Echoes Children
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Re: never cut twice - Aleh - 11-19-2005
Ah, yes. I just came here to reccommend that fic... *BWAHAHAHA*!!!!-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.
![[Image: Aleh.jpg]](http://www.animecubed.com/billy/pics/sigs/Aleh.jpg)
Re: never cut twice - Bob Schroeck - 11-19-2005
....
The hell?
-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03
Re: never cut twice - Aleh - 11-20-2005
Ever heard of a cartoon called The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy? It's a HP fusion.-- This message brought to you by Ely Lilly, makers of SeraFem: Happy Pills for PMS.
Re: never cut twice - HoagieOfDoom - 11-20-2005
Oh yes, do read it. I've never seen an episode of the Grim Adventures, but the fic had me howling in laughter!*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org
You Did What! - drakensis - 11-20-2005
www.fanfiction.net/s/2630300/7/
You know, personally, Id think youd be a lot nicer, to the worlds only supplier of Dementor-based wand core parts. Did you know in many branches of magic theyre stronger than phoenix feathers? But I suppose I could try and set up my own wand-making business.
No, no. Mr. Ollivander pleaded. Thats quite alright. Ill be nice. Please dont experiment in wand design. This is the only planet Earth we have. Theres no do-overs on it.
I disagree, James said with a grin. I think Ive gotten a do-over here.
Yes that is true, Mr. Ollivander agreed. He shook his head. I always figured there would be an Ollivanders until the end of time. I just didnt think that would happen in my lifetime.
Oh fine, Harry conceded. I wont do any more work in wand design.
Oh dear. No Quarter, NO QUARTER! You damn well earned your fate.
Give Harrington our compliments; we're sorry you are late.
- No Quarter, Echoes Children
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Re: never cut twice - Bob Schroeck - 11-20-2005
Quote:Oh, I know what it is, and that it's a fusion. It's just that the idea stopped me cold for a moment.
Ever heard of a cartoon called The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy? It's a HP fusion.
And yes, it's hilarious. I found myself wishing there were a second chapter.
-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03
Re Grim... - Foxboy - 11-21-2005
Ya know, the show did two episodes with a Harry Potter knockoff, so the xover isn't too far-fetched.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''
-- James Nicoll
Illustrations - drakensis - 11-27-2005
I was just re-reading This Means War! and I happened to read it off Jeconais' site rather than the copy I keep on my PC. I was rather surprised partway through the 1st chapter to come across an illustration.
And rather a ribcracking one at that. You'll have to scroll down a little but I think you'll see what I mean.
jeconais.fanficauthors.ne..._Snog.html
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Re: Illustrations - Bob Schroeck - 11-28-2005
Another thing for me to look at tonight...
-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03
Re: Illustrations - Star Ranger4 - 11-29-2005
The whole bloody story is rather like that...
*Makes a note to have his avatar beat up Drak's for causin me too loose a wohle day to reading*"I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
Re: Illustrations - WengFook - 11-29-2005
but it was time well spent yes?_____________________________
HK-47: "Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds"
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.
A New World - drakensis - 12-08-2005
www.fanfiction.net/s/2305210/7/
WARNING - not entirely worksafe
WARNING - may consume several hours from your day
"Ginny and Hermione usually take care of polishing my wand for me. He grinned a lazy grin Its such a good feeling to know that its in such capable and gentle hands.
Cant help you either Professor came Nevilles soft voice that seemed to carry. My technique wouldnt work for anyone here, because I need significantly more room than anyone else, its not so much a wand, as a staff and being so much bigger and thicker, it not only needs two hands to control, but I need a completely different polish for the knob on the end.
(recommended by Ed Becarra)
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Re: A New World - Florin - 12-12-2005
How about something for the season?
"When the snow falls and water turns to ice,
Then shall come the Lord of the Frozen Wastes,
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.
He is the Rider in Red, girdler of the world.
From the north he comes,
Bearing joy to the good,
And a sign of their fate
To the wicked.
Every home he visits,
He is in all places at once.
For he is the son of Yog-Sothoth,
The All-In-One, the Key and the Gate.
None can turn aside his eye.
None can deny his passage.
And all the world trembles
When tiny hooves strike their roof."
--
Oh, what has science wrought? I sought only to turn a man into a metal-encased juggernaught of destruction powered by the unknown properties of a mysterious living crystal. How could this have all gone wrong?
--
If you become a monster to put down a monster you've still got a monster running around at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all.
lol - mrfix186 - 12-20-2005
Just came across this and just had to put it here...
This is from ah wierd Harry/Timetravel Fic...reading it now so dont know if it spirals into a crap fic but, loved this part.
Backwards Compatible
Author: Ruskbyte
Chapter 6
www.fanfiction.net/s/1594791/6/
The door to the office swung open, allowing the headmaster of Hogwarts to step in. Following closely behind him, albeit with obvious reluctance, was Harry. The pair made their way into the room without speaking, waiting until Dumbledore rounded his desk and settled down into his plush chair.
"Well, Harry--" he began, motioning for Harry to seat himself as well, but was cut off.
"Can we make this quick?" Harry interrupted brusquely. He folded his arms across his chest and remained standing, the Snitch-sized black sphere bobbing gently in the air just above and behind his right shoulder. "I'd like to get to my dormitory before the boys accidentally set off the nukes I brought."
Dumbledore looked at him with some confusion and asked, "Nukes?"
"They're a type of Muggle shoe," the young wizard replied after a moment. There was not any hesitation in his answer that Dumbledore could detect. He did seem somewhat bemused by his answer though. "Usually associated with sportsmen."
"Ah."
Re: lol - Bob Schroeck - 12-20-2005
Ah, Backwards Compatible -- nope, it doesn't spiral into a crapfic, in fact it goes places you might not expect. Still not done yet, but damned good. Someone brought it up in a recommendation thread early in the year, and after reading the extant material I pound the ff.net page at least once a week looking for new installments.
And yeah, that's a nice little passage, surprisingly funny in a fic that isn't funny at all.
-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03
No Tendo - drakensis - 02-19-2006
"Crescent Beam!"
"Rapid Fire Vulcan!"
"MADDOX-01, you don't need to call out your attacks."
"I was feeling left out, Colonel."
"...OK. Understandable in current situation. Keep comm chatter minimal though."
No Tendo (Ranma/Sailor Moon/SG-1)
addventure.bast-enterpris...56750.html
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Re: a few more - Norgarth - 02-27-2006
"... once you pull the pin out of Mister Hand Grenade then he is no longer your friend." - Mousse (A Very Scary Thought, one of the later chapters)
"Now I'm afraid it's back to the lab for me. No doubt Dr. Akagi will give me a piece of her mind. A few more and I'll have collected the whole thing." - Gendo Ikari (Neon Exodus Evangelion: Apotheosis Now)
"You don't like my driving?" he said, hurt.
"I don't like having to do long division to figure out how many times the speed limit I'm going," she replied.
- Corwin and Utena (Christmas Rose, 1st Symphony of the Sword)
"I have no -idea- what you're talking about, but count me in anyway," said Nall. "I'm always up for a foolhardy quest, and what you just said has all the hallmarks."
- Nall to Utena (A Rose for the New Year, 1st Symphony of the Sword)__________________
That which does not kill us... has made its last mistake.
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
SG-Looney - ECSNorway - 02-27-2006
From How Boromir Didn't Die:
Quote:Ties in to the same author's Things SG Teams Are No Longer Allowed To Do SkippyList, and Vathara's incredible On A Fiery Steed.--
Both looked back towards the hall as laughter sounded, in time to see Boromir emerging from one of the doors. He caught sight of the pair almost immediately and meandered over to them. My lady, he said with a slight bow as he drew near, surely it is not appropriate to be alone with a man like this.
As Spades buried her face in her hands, Hamilton shook his head. She has chaperones, he muttered, ignoring the foul language emerging from beneath small hands. Show him, short-arse.
Boromir looked scandalised, but backed off as she rose. My chaperones, he says, she growled. You mean the knives Captain Brooks doesnt want to know about?
Yeah. Those. The one you used to gut that ugly dude particularly. Its my favourite, he added as an aside to Boromir.
It was indeed a nice knife, Boromir appeared to agree. This could, on the other hand, have been because a demonstration swipe had come, in a very controlled manner, far too close for comfort to ridding him of the problem of providing his father the grandchildren he seemed to want.
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
Re: SG-Looney - jpub - 02-28-2006
And in the spirit of the idea, I present to you:
Things Xander is Not Allowed To Do
Add to it if you like.--
Christopher Angel, aka JPublic
The Works of Christopher Angel
![[Image: Con.gif]](http://www.yggdrasil.org/misc/Con.gif)
Re: SG-Looney - Herr Bad Moon - 02-28-2006
Quote:I would encourage others to take a look as well. Its getting pretty hilarious over there.---------------
And in the spirit of the idea, I present to you:
Things Xander is Not Allowed To Do
Add to it if you like.
-Jon
Being the Mariner hitting coach is like being the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.
-Poster on USSMariner.com
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"
Re: SG-Looney - Bob Schroeck - 02-28-2006
Quote:Given I just exposed Peggy to the original SkippyList only two hours ago, I do believe engaging the printer at page factor 8 is indeed called for...
Things Xander is Not Allowed To Do
-- Bob
---------
For Jor-El so loved the Earth, he sent his only begotten son...
Re: SG-Looney - HoagieOfDoom - 02-28-2006
Quote:NXE, chapter 3-3
"Dearest," said Asuka.
"O domineering one?"
"Shut up."
"I obey, Most Holy."
DAMN, I love this fic!*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org
Re: SG-Looney - Happerry - 02-28-2006
A link if you would?