Rather than extend the other thread with another huge posting, I'll start a new one. Herewith the last installment of favorite fic quotes from my quotefile.
This was all part of [Ukyou's] ideal picture of the future: she'd end up with Ranma and they'd be happy, Akane would end up with Ryouga and they'd be happy, Shampoo would marry that weirdo with the glasses and they'd go away, and Kodachi would find a good therapist who prescribed Prozac or something. Everybody lived happily ever after.
Susan: The Endless are a group of seven...umm...sort of personifications of abstract concepts.Kasumi: Typical anthropomorphic gods?Susan: They get mad when you call them that. Anyway, there's Death, Delirium, Desire, Despair, Dream, Destruction, and Destiny. I've heard rumors of an eighth one called Donuts, but they get mad when you ask them about him too.
Kasumi: I don't like fighting. That's why I never learned any martial arts, even though Daddy wanted to teach me. Well, I learned a tiny bit, but I hardly remember it.Ichi: You beat up a goddess with a frying pan. [laughs] That takes some kinda skill.
Onna-Happousai: Nothing is certain but Death and Texas.Ukyou: Taxes.Onna-Happousai: That too.
Boatman: Think Yuppie Demon.Akane: Bleah. Do I have to?
This is the story of a boy who was a girl, and a girl, and a boy, and a girl, and a boy, and a girl, and a girl who acts like a boy, and a boy who acts like a girl, and a woman, and a man, and another couple girls, and a cast of thousands. Oh, and a Panda, can't forget the Panda.-- more or less the first line of "Ranma and Akane -- A Love Story"by Eric Hallstrom
"Take me with you! I can help you find Ranma," said Ataru with glazed over eyes as he thought about his favorite anime sex goddesses. "I don't see why not," said Dan with a shrug. "Because he's the biggest letcher in the world that's why. If we take him it'll cause all kinds of trouble," said Bill, looking annoyed. "Let's bring him," he said after a moment with a wicked smile.
"... Now then, the Silver Millenium document tells of a time when the royal houses of the kingdom shall be reborn when the stars are right." "When the stars are right? You make'em sound like Cthulhu, Gaffo." "No, Great Cthulhu doesn't look nearly as good in a fuku." "Now there's some great friggin mental imagery."-- from "Sailor Hellblazer"
"All right, Saotome-kun... we've just stuffed our master in a cave behind three hundred spirit wards. We've got to get to Tokyo in two hours. We've got... a half-full crate of sake, a bag full of panties... it's dark... and we're wearing gis." "Hit it, Tendo-kun."
"Oooo. This'll be SO cool. I get to be Sailor Venus, the Senshi of Love, Beauty, and Rocket Launchers."-- one of Metroanime's Bet fics
Here, Tenchi Masaki finds out that the Juraian wedding night includes such things as candlewax, whips, chains, and leather. See Tenchi run. Run Tenchi run.
Ryouga looked uncertainly around him, his appearance bedraggled, as usual. "Am -- am I in Nerima again?" "No, Einstein, you're in Paris," Ukyou retorted sarcastically, turning around to neaten her grill. Ryouga's eyes widened. "Gosh, you speak Japanese very well, being French. And you look a lot like someone I know. Are you related to an okonomiyaki chef from Tokyo?"
Nabiki stared at the screen, a look of horror on her face. "Our lives depend on Ranma proving that we're civilized enough to join a galactic society. We're doomed."-- Metroanime's "Illegal Aliens in Nerima"
Nabiki: I suppose I should tell you now, I'm not really your sister. I just wandered in one day and pretended I was always there, and being the gullible saps you are, you all bought it.
"Hilbert-space is a theoretical concept . . .the source of creation. Only it's not theoretical. Pluto figured out how to access it to get power from it." "Uhhh. And that's bad?" "Only if you think plugging an extension cord into God is bad."-- from "Furies", by Allyn Yonge
Ranma: [stares at the stars] You think we'll ever go out there, Ucchan?Ukyou: [looks up at the stars] What, in a spaceship?Ranma: Well, unless you know Martial Surviving Deep Vaccuum, yes.Ukyou: There's probably an Amazon technique for it. Keeps Shampoo's head from imploding.
You have never lived until you've sat in an Asgardian mead hall singing, "You can get anything you want/At Alice's Restaurant." In Asgardian.-- from "Kid Dynamo", a "New Mutants" fanfic
"Behold a final technique so feared that the Coalition States has banned its use in their territories!" Ranma turned on the cylinder, which activated the turret it was slaved to. "Saotome special technique! 'Nuke it till it glows!'"-- one of Metroanime's fics
"You're saying that we've found another Sailor Scout?" Luna asked, almost remembering something. "Or a Senshi, a Soldier, or if we're very lucky, a Sailor Commando," Arby replied. "Sailor Commando?! Where do you get these things?" Luna asked incredulously. "Mail orda' catalog." "I should have known," Luna said, rolling her eyes.
"And I dunno about you," said Ukyo as she sidled up on the other side of Shampoo to rest her chin on the other girl's shoulder. "But I'm not about to argue with the opinions of omnipotent beings when it comes to my love life. I figure that they know these things better than me."
"I was sort of expecting fewer demons," Reiko muttered quietly, her eyes shifting from side to side. "Like, maybe, one. A couple at most." "How many do you think there are?" Ryouga hissed back from the other side, as those slithery noises continued just out of sight in the shadows. "Let me put it to you this way," Reiko said tightly. "Oh, SHIT. Does that answer your question?"
"Come on, Lina." said Gourry. "It's a desperate, dangerous quest to free the land from evil! You said that's what you always wanted." Lina folded her arms. "You shouldn't listen to me. I lie a lot."
"All I ever wanted was a normal life," Tenchi sighed dejectedly. "And you came to Nerima?" Nabiki said, incredulously.
"That's me; both hands on the keyboard, one foot in the Swing Age. If I could afford it, I'd drive a car with tail fins." -- Gryphon, "Gods Willing II"
"Damn, damn, damn!" Skuld cursed, then looked reflexively over her shoulder. No one had heard her, but she reminded herself to be more careful. Frumpy old Jean, the archangel who managed the Information Services group, disapproved of his employees cursing, especially the younger ones -- and Skuld was by far the youngest employee in the Celestial Network Operations Center. It did no good for Skuld to draw herself to her full height and pointedly inform the old angel that while *he* was merely an *archangel*, *she* was a full-blown *goddess*, a spark of God Himself. The Almighty had informed Jean of His youngest daughter's temper and bade the Archangel of Lightning pay no attention; and besides, her full height was a good eleven inches shorter than Jean's. She was, after all, only thirteen. -- Gryphon, "Gods Willing II"
Inji smirked slightly. "You have no inner child, Kiri-kun. If you ever did, you beat it to death years ago." "You're one to talk," she said stiffly. "I'm my own inner child," Inji said lazily. "I look at the world with childlike innocence, wonder, and joy. And a very sharp knife, of course. I'm afraid my inner child doesn't play well with others."-- From "Pastpresent 6", by Susan Doenime
The next few days passed quietly. No mysterious supernatural occurances, no monster attacks, no duels of super-powered martial artists. Peace and quiet reigned. Of course, this bizarre and unnatural event made the residents of Nerima terrified. Then the People's Turnip Liberation Strikeforce attacked an all-you-can-eat vegetarian restaurant with barbeque-sauce bombs and tried to free the salad toppings into the wild, and everyone relaxed. Which has nothing to do with our story.-- from "A Matter of Romantic Chemistry," Chapter 17, by Jack Staik and Lady Tesser
Tenchi started to become uneasy at the course the conversation had suddenly taken. He was losing an argument with Mihoshi; that was not supposed to happen. Perhaps the Directorate had done something to him he was unaware of. -- from "Tenchi Muyo! --Vacation Days", Epilogue
Washuu: Ah! That is the Japanese Hot Springs penguin, Aptenodytes thermophilius. It is a mutagenic species, note the three claws or fingers on each wing, radically different in position from all other living penguins. It is characterized by territorial behavior, a loud squawk, and a complete knowledge of Egyptology.
"What the heck is that?" Ranma-chan called out as she made her way through the crowd only to see Kunou, leaning against the ring, baked into the middle of a giant okonomiyaki. "I was experimenting with a new style of food," Ukyou explained from the center of the ring. "I was going to call it 'Dip-with-a-Stick Okonomiyaki', but it's an absolute failure." "The great Tatewaki Kunou is no man's side order," Kunou complained as he tried prying himself out of the slightly burned yet still tasty crust.-- From "Shampoo 1/2," Chapter 5, by DB Sommer
"Your Uncle Tatewaki is a moron," Ranma said hotly. "He couldn't touch me if I had my arms and legs tied behind my back, with my whole body sunken two feet into concrete and a bullseye painted on my chest. And I've got pictures to prove it." -- from "Le Plus Ca Change..." by Dave Menard
"To tell you the truth we don't really understand Nabiki," Akane said. "We just sort of watch for her out of the corners of our eyes." Nabiki smirked.-- from "Family Trees", Chapter 3, by Thryth
"Why does it always come down to a fight?" Ranma whispered. "Because if it came down to a contest of solving quadratic equations, you'd never have gotten this far," Akane observed. "Good point."
Nabiki murmured in her sleep. "Why yes, Ranma-sama, I'll be your love-slave." Rei and Minako looked at each other. This was a VERY bad sign.-- from "The Reluctant Bet", Chapter 25, by Gregg Sharp
Shampoo loved the shark then, because it was wild and strong, like Ranma was wild and strong. It was fierce and powerful and untamed, from its blunt snout down its strong muscular body all the way to its narrow tail. She loved Ranma in the shark and the shark in Ranma. She loved it and she vowed to catch it, break it, and make it her own. The shark was also stupid and never thought about anything but eating, but that too was like Ranma.-- from "Shampoo and the Sea" by David Homerick
Yes, indeed. Rei Ayanami. Red eyes, blue hair, and no wasted words. He looked forward to having another lack of conversation with her tomorrow.-- From "Neon Exodus Evangelion[/i], Part 1, Chapter 2
Ranma settled back to watch. He'd never admit it, but Nabiki's talent for off-the-cuff bullshit both impressed and entertained him enormously. -- from "Our Wedding Day," Chapter 12, by Jack Staik and Lady Tesser
"Oh," Misuto said, disappointed. "It sounded like such a fine quest, too. Not enough heroes are ripped into quivering chunks in this day and age." "Look, which side are you on?" Toriiko snapped. "Side?" Misuto looked shocked. "I'm a kami, dear. I'm supposed to toy with both sides and then deliver a heartfelt eulogy over the bodies of the slain. It's in the job description."-- from "PastPresent 8" by Susan Doemine
SHAMPOO: What Great-grandmother say?UKYO: We need to drill Ranma.SHAMPOO: Okay. I go get some power tools.
"A haunting? I'm not sure I believe in ghosts." Ami frowned and unscrewed the cap of some jug of unfamiliar fluid in the refrigerator. "Says a reincarnated ice-blasting sailor-suited warrior of love and justice fighting vampiric beings serving some demonic alien presence," pointed out Nebula. "Frankly, I wouldn't be *that* surprised if we ended up running into Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy at this rate." Ami paused, a similar thought occurring to her. No, that was silly. Couldn't happen.-- from "Fourth Labor," by Gregg "Metroanime" Sharp
"Ha!" Usagi said. "You think you have it tough? When I was your age, I ran around in a tiny fuku, shouting ridiculous things like 'In the name of the Moon, you shall be punished' at ludicrous monsters that looked like refugees from a Grade-B 50's Horror movie. You do that during your entire formative years and see how much integrity you have left." -- from "SailorEVA," by DB Sommer
"The more I learn about Ranma's childhood, the more I start suspecting that there's a little Amazon in Genma," Mousse replied. "Several, if they're Cologne's size," Nabiki added.-- from "Duck and Peaches at the Foot of Flower Mountain," by Hans Holm
"Every decent evil scientist needs to be able to play a cool musical instrument. Something ominous, like an organ or a sousaphone," Washuu explained. -- from "Washuu Science Theatre 3000," by DB Sommer
"Please to get off Shampoo. Shampoo going to have nervous breakdown. Shampoo has worked for it. Shampoo deserve it. Shampoo going to get busy on that right now." -- from "The Bet: Lovestruck" by Metroanime
Some people thought Nabiki liked Tatewaki Kuno. Some people, Nabiki conceded, had better imaginations than she did. -- from "When You Wish Upon A Sword," chapter 5, by Metroanime
Herb, young Prince of the Musk Dynasty, responded by having his men fill in the big gaping hole since it was entirely too big to become a cursed spring and somehow "Cursed Roughly Olympic Sized Really Damn Deep Swimming Pool" just didn't roll trippingly off the tongue. Even in Mandarin Chinese. -- from "The Bet, Fourth Option" by Gregg Sharp
One of the unwritten rules aboard the Myoo no Maru was "Don't Ask Nathan How He Knows Something". The consequences could be horrible. He could tell you.-- "The Bet, Featherbrite's Tale," by Gregg Sharp
"You have been designated the 4th child," Commander Ikari said in his usual 'oh so joyful' tone. One would not be surprised if he had once worked helpdesk. Actually, it would explain a number of things.-- "The Reluctant SI 1: Toji Has a Little 'Accident' . . . He He He (A NGE SI Parody)" By Ammadeau
"Hi, I'm Ammadeau. I'm from some place that's probably underwater now." "Is it because it was flooded by the Second Impact?" "No, I just left the water running when I left." "When did you leave?" "Oh, about sixteen years ago."-- "The Reluctant SI 1: Toji Has a Little 'Accident' . . . He He He (A NGE SI Parody)" By Ammadeau
Celeste all but wept. In five hours, Kitchiri had managed to not only foul up the filing system but hopelessly corrupt five Timelines (there was now an EVA line where the Evangelion pilots were Charlie Brown, Lucy Van Pelt, and a half-angel dog named Snoopy) AND spill Salusian Syrup on her copy of the duty roster.-- from "Reluctant Bet," chapter 22, by Gregg "Metroanime" Sharp
"ay, ay, ay, i'm your little butterfly.""Shut UP, Wondergirl!"
Nabiki's eyes grew wide as she looked at the amount in the passbook. "My god. There's over twenty million yen in here. Did I mention how much I love you?"-- "Not Ranma One-Half", Chapter 2, by By Andy Wennersten
EXTERIOR, NIGHT: Utena is on her way back to East Hall from the Secret Forest, looking tired and confused.UTENA: Man, what the hell was that all about? Oh well. Forget about it. Go to bed.ANTHY and SILENT BOB appear from behind the archway ahead of her. UTENA pauses, puzzled. SILENT BOB puts down a soapbox, which ANTHY then climbs up onto.ANTHY (clearing throat importantly): Attention, current winner of the dueling cycle. My name is Anthy Himemiya, and I am the Rose Bride. Until further notice, me and Silent Bob will be hanging with you. That is all.SILENT BOB: (nods)UTENA: ... ?!-- Gryphon, EPU Website, 9/24/01, as a result of putting his new Silent Bob action figure up on his mantle next to his Anthy figure
Princess Jupiter leaned over and whispered to the blonde, "Have you been living under a rock for the past year and a half, or what?" "Well, sort of. The roof back home's made of granite."-- from "Nuke'em Til They Glow", Chapter 10, Part 11
"Sir, request permission that squad be known as the Black Squad, sir!" "No! We already have 65 Black Squads, 13 Shadow Squads, 4 Gray Squads, and one Pink Squad. Frankly, we're a little worried about the Pink Squad."-- from "Grunts" by Mary Gentle
"The heart is under the left breast, right?" [Britannia] asked Venus. "Home is where the heart is," Venus replied, sagely. Britannia tried to figure that out while Artemis said, "Yes. How did you know he was the youma?" "Well, if he wasn't, he was still a sportscaster." "It was a mercy killing," Venus said. "Right..." I'm surrounded by lunatics, Artemis thought.-- from "Marmalade Moon" Chapter 9, by John Biles
"7.74?" inquired Zoner. "Not bad, nature boy, not bad." "Bite me, wirehead, I'm a nutritious part of this complete breakfast," Gryphon replied, rubbing his hair vigorously with a towel.-- from "Hopelessly Lost 1"
"Morons is for killing," suggested Shampoo, stalking forward with Ukyo. "Morons is for killing?" Ukyo said speculatively. "It has a ring to it," agreed Akane. "Morons is for killing," mused Nabiki, picturing t-shirts with the logo. Hmmm.-- "Take Two: Kittens Omake", by Gregg "Metroanime" Sharp
"You've got -zombies- downstairs and you think it's weird that my cat's been talking to me?" -- from "Sailor Moon: Mix and Match", Chapter 1, by Benjamin A. Oliver
"Don't worry, appropriate response is part of my operational protocol. If I detect an assassin with a knife I will disarm him and turn him over to the guard. If I detect a lesbian under the bed I will escort her to the door." -- Ifurita, in "Reunited," by Ken Wolfe
Three fiancees for the Martial artist under the sky, Seven for the Juraian lord in his halls of home,Nine for Keitaro doomed not to die, One for the Panda Lord on his dark throneIn the Land of Nerima where the shadows lie. One Fiancee to rule them all, One Fiancee to find them, One Fiancee to bring them all and in the darkness bind themIn the land of Nerima where the shadows lie.-- Brian Randall
"According to this, you'll be one of the most eligible bachelors in the Universe. With you being a prince and all..." "I'm the prince of like, five other people, and two of them are trying to kill me."-- from "Insertion," by Carrot Glace
"I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us." "Good thinkin', Rei. ... Wait a second, you didn't *have* a childhood."-- from "Angelbusters" by Ivan Reitman and Hideaki Anno (1985)(Actually Gryphon and Chad Collier, EPU Forums, 7/25/02)
"It does not matter," the dark princess answered in a tone that brooked no disagreement. Her dress was fashioned of shadows that left nothing to the imagination and her hair streamed back in a wind that touched only her. And her eyes were green fire, burning with rage and guilt. "Once I rejected her because of petty considerations such as gender. I am free of that now. Sister, daughter, lover, friend ... what she needs from me is what I will choose to become." In a flicker, she became once more the quiet girl from years past. "It does not matter," Anthy repeated the princess' statement, and there was a catch in her voice. "We will be together again." Juri felt her heartbeat slow once more, and knew of a certainty that its easing could not be natural. "You're not even remotely human, are you?" she asked. And their eyes met. "I am as human as you would be, Arisugawa Juri ... had you been a slave to your mistakes for ten thousand years," Anthy replied.-- from "Shoujo Kakumei Utena: Ten Years After", by Chris Davies
"The Wedge went to immediate WeDon'tEvenHaveAColorForThis Alert."-- Undocumented Features I
"Wait a second, Jason! Do you know how to fight?" asked Ben as the three-in-one combo rushed at the Daimon's back. "Uhhh, in theory. Besides, Usagi can do it! How hard can it be?" thought Jason in reply before he leapt up on Soiya's back and got it in a headlock. "Grrr. I'm the annoying Sailor Chibi-Moon, and in the name of Setsuna-sama, I'll snap yer neck!!!" "WAAAH! You ruined my intro! I was gonna make it SOO neat and dramatic, but YOU ruined it!" Chibiusa whined.-- from "Heart of Sugar", Chapter 1, by Benjamin A. Oliver
Ranma swallowed a small lump as he watched the Sokiaya closest to Akane back away, resisting an urge to do the same. He'd seen similar feats, performed by Zen masters and madmen. And Akane didn't look like she spent much time meditating. He couldn't figure out why Tendou-san thought his "baby" needed a man to look after her, except maybe to hose out Akane's cage and throw her a chunk of raw meat every now and then.-- "Lure The Tiger From The Mountains", Chapter 5, by Allyn Yonge
Sometimes change comes slowly. Sometimes all at once. Yet this change comes more often than not as the result of a grand design. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills, it is said, and woe be it to any mortal who attempts to stand in its way. What we see as something new is really something decided upon long ago. What we think is our own free will is really only the most recent event in the chain of causality and/or fate, the will of God, and occasionally yesterday's oatmeal. You've heard this before, right? Let me tell you a secret. Put your ear right up to your monitor as I whisper it to you: The wheel weaves as the wheel wills, it's true, but sometimes you just have to thumb your nose at the wheel, rip the web of the ages asunder, hack into the Yggdrasil system, change things however you damn well please and then laugh like a maniac as you shout out from the rooftops, "How's THAT for Calvanistic Determinism!" -- "Why Sailor Pluto Hates The Bet", Chapter 1, by P.H. Wise
High atop the Tokyo Tower, a wind began. The wind was not the beginning. The wind was also not the ending. This is because there are neither beginnings nor endings on the wheel of time. No, there are not beginnings or endings, but there ARE twinkies. I am, however, getting off the subject. -- "Why Sailor Pluto Hates The Bet", Chapter 3, by P.H. Wise
If a butterfly's wings can cause a hurricane, what the hell do you think a car with a Certified Mad Scientist{tm}, his daughter, and a Guardian of Time stuck on its roof could do? -- "Pissing Off Pluto," Chapter 2, by Elsa Bibat
"Okay," Ritsuko said, turning around. "MAGI! Coffee, black, twelve sugars!" There was a whir, the sound of gears grinding and engines thrumming, and soon a little trapdoor on the workstation opened and a paper cup filled with coffee ascended from the depths of the MAGI's operating system. "Neat," commented Shinji. "Technology of God in action," agreed Ritsuko, sipping her coffee. "Ah. I like my coffee like I like my men." "What... hot, strong and sweet?" Misato winked knowingly. Ritsuko frowned. "No. Ground into powder and liquefied." "Oh," Misato said carefully.-- "Evangelion Unplugged," Chapter 1, by Renegade
"I knew that," Soun said happily. "It was one of your favorite times of the year. You always enjoyed receiving presents." "And I still do," Kachiko added. "Which is to say, it would be really nice if people were to give me presents, since it's my birthday and everything." "What would you like?" Akane asked. Kachiko was practically glowing. "I don't know. Something expensive that I don't have a use for." "I'll sign you up for chemotherapy," Nabiki said.-- "The Things We Wish For," Chapter 9, by DB Sommer
"God, Asuka, I've missed you so," said DJ. "Promise me when this is all over you'll come away with me to Paris." "I can't -stand- you!" Asuka protested shrilly. "That's OK," DJ replied cheerfully. "I can't stand bloody Paris."-- Neon Exodus Evangelion 1:9, by Benjamin Hutchins.
"Wonderful job you've done, Shinji..." Gendou started, his hands dropping from their usual position to rest on the large desk in his office. "Telling the student body you're a pilot. What does it get you?" "A few one night stands and a bunch of female admirers?" the young man offered. "Well, yes..." Gendou acceded, "But it could also get you killed." "Assassination?" Shinji hazarded, only to have Gendou nod. "Damn, didn't think of that." He frowned. "'Bout the only thing I can't dodge is bullets. Guess I'll have to be more careful." "What's done is done. My recommendation is for you to refrain from telling anyone else." "But... that 'I'm a pilot and tonight may be our last night to live' line works so well! I mean..." He pulled an address book from his back pocket and flipped through a few pages, "I've already gotten seventeen phone numbers, six dates, three offers for sex, and one girl who wants to marry me. It's great! And you want me to stop?" He paused, shaking his head slightly while giving his father a dubious look. "Are you out of your mind?" Gendou blinked. "Well... Continue at your own discretion."-- "Honor's Duty", chapter 6, by JJ Corley
"Well, I don't care who we marry. I just want to use my grenade soon," said Dan.-- "Insertion," by Carrotglace
Utena swallowed hard, her bluster from before fleeing her exhausted frame. "Eh... it's about my boxers." She looked at the Rose Bride through the curtain of pink bangs hanging over her eyes. "They're... they're not bad-looking, are they? I mean, I know they're not 'normal' and all, but they're not dorky, right?" Anshi laughed, a light, crystalline sound that calmed Utena a bit. "Oh, Utena-sama... your Tigger boxers are just fine. They're... unique," she allowed, her emerald gaze focusing on one of the little Tiggers, "but they look very nice on you." The Rose Bride paused a moment, a sly grin forming on her features. "Of, course, they'd look even better on my floor."-- from "In His Defense," by KJ Dawson
"Hang on a second," Gourry said. Then he turned to address the ultimate creator of his world. "Excuse me, miss, umm..." 'Lord Of Nightmares.' "Right, Lord of Nightmares. You're, like, the person who created everything and stuff, right?" Gourry asked. 'I Am The Maker Of All. I Am The Seer Of All. Over Shaburanigdo
And Ceipheed I Rule. Over Mankind's Existence I Rule, Looking On
High, Silent As Time. Over All Things Seeking Destruction And
Preservation I Am Lord.' "Right. Maybe you can answer something for me... for the longest time, I was wondering--" 'No, There Wasn't A Monster In Your Closet When You Were
Eight. It Was Just Your Brother Trying To Scare You.' "Okay, thanks," Gourry said. "Let's go, Lina."-- from "Slayers Chaos," by Stefan Gagne
"I've gotten to like some US television shows over my time in the States. My favorite is an old series: the wife is a witch who has married a mortal man, and she has promised him that she'd live like a mortal woman. Except she can't. And her family keeps coming around. "I feel like Darren Stevens sometimes."-- Utena Tenjou, in "Archimage" by Jude McLaughlin
"Be more careful when throwing pianos out the window!" said an admonishing voice from the window above. "You could have killed somebody!" "It's okay, honey," responded another voice. "It just landed in the middle of that spreading pool of blood."-- from "Quack Experimental Fanfic Excel Fusion Z," chapter 1, by Nidoking
"What the hell did you do to your mother?!" snapped Trunks into the passenger cabin angrily. "I didn't call for seven hundred years," [Yosho] cried from his hiding place under the table. "Holy shit. She'll kill us all," said Trunks dumbly. "We gotta get out of here!"-- From "Insertion," Chapter 92, by Carrotglace
Yomiko ... smiled. "They did a very good job, those two." Drake said, "They've got a lot of potential." "I think they'll go far." "Possibly flung by an explosion." "Quite possible."-- from "Wheel of Anime", Book 2, Chapter 1, by John Biles
"Don't get carried away," Ritsuko muttered. "That's my boyfriend in there. And one of my girlfriends, too," Misato said. "I just don't want them to blow anything up." "What would you do if it were Maya?" "I'd rip it to shreds with my teeth! And I'd jump on the pieces! And then... then... then I'd subject them to full scientific analysis, of course."-- from "Fanservice II", by Andrew Aelfwine
"Let me show you what girl power can do! Especially with a sonic cannon!"-- Nabiki Tendo, "Rune With A View" by Metroanime
"Nice place," Metatron continued. "Do you like living in tomato soup or is the rent good?"-- from "Shinji Almighty", chapter 5, by Gregg Landsman
"Heh." Nabiki smugly inspected her nails. "You have to get up pretty early in the morning to get past Nabiki Tendou." "Nabiki, I'm your sister and I know what you're like in the morning," Kasumi remarked flatly. "I could sell you to a Thai brothel and you probably wouldn't notice until after lunch."-- "A Not So Simple Wish" (Chapter 1![[Image: glasses.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/glasses.gif)
, by Ebiris
*No,* Sachiel replied. *Aww, come on,* I answered. *Absolutely not,* he insisted. *What's so bad about my idea?* *While I have no problem with withdrawing and allowing you to handle the situation, I have... issues with your plan to tell the Lillim that you are the "3.14th Angel, Auwhotda'ell".*
"If I had wanted a date, I would have said, 'Would you like to go on a date with me?' not 'Would you mind showing me around town?'" "You mean to tell me you make a distinction between the two?" "I'm an Ikari," he shrugged, "As half-truths and mind games are our specialty, distinctions are always important."-- Shinji Ikari and Maya Ibuki, in "Honor's Duty 7" by JJ Corley
Some things were just a given. The sky is blue. Water is wet. Genma can't be trusted farther than Kasumi could throw him. You never really stop to ask why.-- "White Rose," by Andrew Lemly
"I'm assuming you have a more detailed plan than 'be bitter as killer robots descend upon us'?" said Nadia pointedly. "I've got two actually," said Hikaru, "and seeing as the first one involves a bathtub full of champagne, a violinist, and a bottle of sherry, we're probably going to have to go with the second one." Nadia blinked. "Are you sure about that? Because I'm definitely intrigued." "Yes, I know, it would have been magical, but we're going with door number two," said Hikaru.-- "Defending", chapter 6, by David Dee
"I'm a martial artist. That's all I've done my whole life.Maybe I ain't so good at other stuff . . .but the Art . . .thereain't no one better than me. I know when someone's ready fora fight . . .how good they are . . .if they mean business. IKNOW! An that woman was tryin' to KILL Akane." "What do you mean . . .you know." Makoto put inskeptically. "How could you just look . . ." "The way I know about you." Ranma speared Makotowith a look. "I know that you try to actbig and tough. An' you're brave all right. Got a lotta heart.Ain't no one gonna stop you . . . But deepdown . . .you're scared. Scared you're gonna' be alone."Makoto paled at this summation, but Ranko had alreadystarted on her next target. "And you." She pointed to Ami, who shrank slightlyunder Ranko's consideration. "Cool, calm. Real smart." Ranko paused. "Real . . .realsmart. Got good instincts . . .but don'tbelieve in 'em. Don't believe in yourself. So you hidebehind your smarts. So no one will see . . .you."Ami paled and hid her head in her hands as Ranko swungon her next target, Minako. "And you . . ." Ranko paused, puzzled. "You're a deepone." Ranko's brow wrinkled. "You . . .you're dangerous.There's blood on your hands."Minako stiffened slightly, then relaxed. "There's blood." Ranko continued. "But it's clean. Justlike you." Ranko bowed slightly, oneequal to another. "We ought to spar sometime."Minako brightened and returned the bow. "An' You." Ranko stepped up to Rei, who stood herground and glared at Ranko, daring her to do her worst. "You . . .try to make people think you're tough. Andyou are. Ya got a lotta chi . . .a whole lot."Ranko cocked her head and raked Rei with a longsearching gaze. Rei resisted a compulsion to coverherself with her hands at the sudden sensation of beingnaked in public. "You're always . . .afraid . . .but not for yourself . . .never for yourself. You're afraid of failing . . .someone . . .else. Someone you love . . .more than your life . . .some . . .one . . ."Rei paled, swayed and would have fallen if not for smallhands which suddenly were there to catch her. "And as for you." Ranko turned her gaze to the smallblond figure supporting Hino Rei. "As for you . . ." Ranko'scocky attitude disappeared and her eyeswent wide with shock Straightening suddenlyshe executed a very low, profoundly respectful bow. "Forgive me for my impertinence master. I meant nodisrespect. But I believe that I have demonstrated why Ibelieved the . . .woman . . .I saw was a threat . . .a deadlythreat to Tendou Akane."The other senshi were amazed at the transformation . . .fromsarcastic, rough talking . . .to polite almost formal . . ."Akane was beyond amazement and well on her way toshocked. She grabbed Ranko by one sleeve andspun her around. "Just what are you doing." Akane hissed. "Mr. "I bowto nobody". I thought you didn't call anyone master." "I didn't." Ranko replied so simply that Akane couldthink of nothing to say.-- from "Furies" by Allyn Yonge
-- Bob
---------
It's spelt "Frodo Baggins" but it's pronounced "Throat-wobbler Mangrove."
This was all part of [Ukyou's] ideal picture of the future: she'd end up with Ranma and they'd be happy, Akane would end up with Ryouga and they'd be happy, Shampoo would marry that weirdo with the glasses and they'd go away, and Kodachi would find a good therapist who prescribed Prozac or something. Everybody lived happily ever after.
Susan: The Endless are a group of seven...umm...sort of personifications of abstract concepts.Kasumi: Typical anthropomorphic gods?Susan: They get mad when you call them that. Anyway, there's Death, Delirium, Desire, Despair, Dream, Destruction, and Destiny. I've heard rumors of an eighth one called Donuts, but they get mad when you ask them about him too.
Kasumi: I don't like fighting. That's why I never learned any martial arts, even though Daddy wanted to teach me. Well, I learned a tiny bit, but I hardly remember it.Ichi: You beat up a goddess with a frying pan. [laughs] That takes some kinda skill.
Onna-Happousai: Nothing is certain but Death and Texas.Ukyou: Taxes.Onna-Happousai: That too.
Boatman: Think Yuppie Demon.Akane: Bleah. Do I have to?
This is the story of a boy who was a girl, and a girl, and a boy, and a girl, and a boy, and a girl, and a girl who acts like a boy, and a boy who acts like a girl, and a woman, and a man, and another couple girls, and a cast of thousands. Oh, and a Panda, can't forget the Panda.-- more or less the first line of "Ranma and Akane -- A Love Story"by Eric Hallstrom
"Take me with you! I can help you find Ranma," said Ataru with glazed over eyes as he thought about his favorite anime sex goddesses. "I don't see why not," said Dan with a shrug. "Because he's the biggest letcher in the world that's why. If we take him it'll cause all kinds of trouble," said Bill, looking annoyed. "Let's bring him," he said after a moment with a wicked smile.
"... Now then, the Silver Millenium document tells of a time when the royal houses of the kingdom shall be reborn when the stars are right." "When the stars are right? You make'em sound like Cthulhu, Gaffo." "No, Great Cthulhu doesn't look nearly as good in a fuku." "Now there's some great friggin mental imagery."-- from "Sailor Hellblazer"
"All right, Saotome-kun... we've just stuffed our master in a cave behind three hundred spirit wards. We've got to get to Tokyo in two hours. We've got... a half-full crate of sake, a bag full of panties... it's dark... and we're wearing gis." "Hit it, Tendo-kun."
"Oooo. This'll be SO cool. I get to be Sailor Venus, the Senshi of Love, Beauty, and Rocket Launchers."-- one of Metroanime's Bet fics
Here, Tenchi Masaki finds out that the Juraian wedding night includes such things as candlewax, whips, chains, and leather. See Tenchi run. Run Tenchi run.
Ryouga looked uncertainly around him, his appearance bedraggled, as usual. "Am -- am I in Nerima again?" "No, Einstein, you're in Paris," Ukyou retorted sarcastically, turning around to neaten her grill. Ryouga's eyes widened. "Gosh, you speak Japanese very well, being French. And you look a lot like someone I know. Are you related to an okonomiyaki chef from Tokyo?"
Nabiki stared at the screen, a look of horror on her face. "Our lives depend on Ranma proving that we're civilized enough to join a galactic society. We're doomed."-- Metroanime's "Illegal Aliens in Nerima"
Nabiki: I suppose I should tell you now, I'm not really your sister. I just wandered in one day and pretended I was always there, and being the gullible saps you are, you all bought it.
"Hilbert-space is a theoretical concept . . .the source of creation. Only it's not theoretical. Pluto figured out how to access it to get power from it." "Uhhh. And that's bad?" "Only if you think plugging an extension cord into God is bad."-- from "Furies", by Allyn Yonge
Ranma: [stares at the stars] You think we'll ever go out there, Ucchan?Ukyou: [looks up at the stars] What, in a spaceship?Ranma: Well, unless you know Martial Surviving Deep Vaccuum, yes.Ukyou: There's probably an Amazon technique for it. Keeps Shampoo's head from imploding.
You have never lived until you've sat in an Asgardian mead hall singing, "You can get anything you want/At Alice's Restaurant." In Asgardian.-- from "Kid Dynamo", a "New Mutants" fanfic
"Behold a final technique so feared that the Coalition States has banned its use in their territories!" Ranma turned on the cylinder, which activated the turret it was slaved to. "Saotome special technique! 'Nuke it till it glows!'"-- one of Metroanime's fics
"You're saying that we've found another Sailor Scout?" Luna asked, almost remembering something. "Or a Senshi, a Soldier, or if we're very lucky, a Sailor Commando," Arby replied. "Sailor Commando?! Where do you get these things?" Luna asked incredulously. "Mail orda' catalog." "I should have known," Luna said, rolling her eyes.
"And I dunno about you," said Ukyo as she sidled up on the other side of Shampoo to rest her chin on the other girl's shoulder. "But I'm not about to argue with the opinions of omnipotent beings when it comes to my love life. I figure that they know these things better than me."
"I was sort of expecting fewer demons," Reiko muttered quietly, her eyes shifting from side to side. "Like, maybe, one. A couple at most." "How many do you think there are?" Ryouga hissed back from the other side, as those slithery noises continued just out of sight in the shadows. "Let me put it to you this way," Reiko said tightly. "Oh, SHIT. Does that answer your question?"
"Come on, Lina." said Gourry. "It's a desperate, dangerous quest to free the land from evil! You said that's what you always wanted." Lina folded her arms. "You shouldn't listen to me. I lie a lot."
"All I ever wanted was a normal life," Tenchi sighed dejectedly. "And you came to Nerima?" Nabiki said, incredulously.
"That's me; both hands on the keyboard, one foot in the Swing Age. If I could afford it, I'd drive a car with tail fins." -- Gryphon, "Gods Willing II"
"Damn, damn, damn!" Skuld cursed, then looked reflexively over her shoulder. No one had heard her, but she reminded herself to be more careful. Frumpy old Jean, the archangel who managed the Information Services group, disapproved of his employees cursing, especially the younger ones -- and Skuld was by far the youngest employee in the Celestial Network Operations Center. It did no good for Skuld to draw herself to her full height and pointedly inform the old angel that while *he* was merely an *archangel*, *she* was a full-blown *goddess*, a spark of God Himself. The Almighty had informed Jean of His youngest daughter's temper and bade the Archangel of Lightning pay no attention; and besides, her full height was a good eleven inches shorter than Jean's. She was, after all, only thirteen. -- Gryphon, "Gods Willing II"
Inji smirked slightly. "You have no inner child, Kiri-kun. If you ever did, you beat it to death years ago." "You're one to talk," she said stiffly. "I'm my own inner child," Inji said lazily. "I look at the world with childlike innocence, wonder, and joy. And a very sharp knife, of course. I'm afraid my inner child doesn't play well with others."-- From "Pastpresent 6", by Susan Doenime
The next few days passed quietly. No mysterious supernatural occurances, no monster attacks, no duels of super-powered martial artists. Peace and quiet reigned. Of course, this bizarre and unnatural event made the residents of Nerima terrified. Then the People's Turnip Liberation Strikeforce attacked an all-you-can-eat vegetarian restaurant with barbeque-sauce bombs and tried to free the salad toppings into the wild, and everyone relaxed. Which has nothing to do with our story.-- from "A Matter of Romantic Chemistry," Chapter 17, by Jack Staik and Lady Tesser
Tenchi started to become uneasy at the course the conversation had suddenly taken. He was losing an argument with Mihoshi; that was not supposed to happen. Perhaps the Directorate had done something to him he was unaware of. -- from "Tenchi Muyo! --Vacation Days", Epilogue
Washuu: Ah! That is the Japanese Hot Springs penguin, Aptenodytes thermophilius. It is a mutagenic species, note the three claws or fingers on each wing, radically different in position from all other living penguins. It is characterized by territorial behavior, a loud squawk, and a complete knowledge of Egyptology.
"What the heck is that?" Ranma-chan called out as she made her way through the crowd only to see Kunou, leaning against the ring, baked into the middle of a giant okonomiyaki. "I was experimenting with a new style of food," Ukyou explained from the center of the ring. "I was going to call it 'Dip-with-a-Stick Okonomiyaki', but it's an absolute failure." "The great Tatewaki Kunou is no man's side order," Kunou complained as he tried prying himself out of the slightly burned yet still tasty crust.-- From "Shampoo 1/2," Chapter 5, by DB Sommer
"Your Uncle Tatewaki is a moron," Ranma said hotly. "He couldn't touch me if I had my arms and legs tied behind my back, with my whole body sunken two feet into concrete and a bullseye painted on my chest. And I've got pictures to prove it." -- from "Le Plus Ca Change..." by Dave Menard
"To tell you the truth we don't really understand Nabiki," Akane said. "We just sort of watch for her out of the corners of our eyes." Nabiki smirked.-- from "Family Trees", Chapter 3, by Thryth
"Why does it always come down to a fight?" Ranma whispered. "Because if it came down to a contest of solving quadratic equations, you'd never have gotten this far," Akane observed. "Good point."
Nabiki murmured in her sleep. "Why yes, Ranma-sama, I'll be your love-slave." Rei and Minako looked at each other. This was a VERY bad sign.-- from "The Reluctant Bet", Chapter 25, by Gregg Sharp
Shampoo loved the shark then, because it was wild and strong, like Ranma was wild and strong. It was fierce and powerful and untamed, from its blunt snout down its strong muscular body all the way to its narrow tail. She loved Ranma in the shark and the shark in Ranma. She loved it and she vowed to catch it, break it, and make it her own. The shark was also stupid and never thought about anything but eating, but that too was like Ranma.-- from "Shampoo and the Sea" by David Homerick
Yes, indeed. Rei Ayanami. Red eyes, blue hair, and no wasted words. He looked forward to having another lack of conversation with her tomorrow.-- From "Neon Exodus Evangelion[/i], Part 1, Chapter 2
Ranma settled back to watch. He'd never admit it, but Nabiki's talent for off-the-cuff bullshit both impressed and entertained him enormously. -- from "Our Wedding Day," Chapter 12, by Jack Staik and Lady Tesser
"Oh," Misuto said, disappointed. "It sounded like such a fine quest, too. Not enough heroes are ripped into quivering chunks in this day and age." "Look, which side are you on?" Toriiko snapped. "Side?" Misuto looked shocked. "I'm a kami, dear. I'm supposed to toy with both sides and then deliver a heartfelt eulogy over the bodies of the slain. It's in the job description."-- from "PastPresent 8" by Susan Doemine
SHAMPOO: What Great-grandmother say?UKYO: We need to drill Ranma.SHAMPOO: Okay. I go get some power tools.
"A haunting? I'm not sure I believe in ghosts." Ami frowned and unscrewed the cap of some jug of unfamiliar fluid in the refrigerator. "Says a reincarnated ice-blasting sailor-suited warrior of love and justice fighting vampiric beings serving some demonic alien presence," pointed out Nebula. "Frankly, I wouldn't be *that* surprised if we ended up running into Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy at this rate." Ami paused, a similar thought occurring to her. No, that was silly. Couldn't happen.-- from "Fourth Labor," by Gregg "Metroanime" Sharp
"Ha!" Usagi said. "You think you have it tough? When I was your age, I ran around in a tiny fuku, shouting ridiculous things like 'In the name of the Moon, you shall be punished' at ludicrous monsters that looked like refugees from a Grade-B 50's Horror movie. You do that during your entire formative years and see how much integrity you have left." -- from "SailorEVA," by DB Sommer
"The more I learn about Ranma's childhood, the more I start suspecting that there's a little Amazon in Genma," Mousse replied. "Several, if they're Cologne's size," Nabiki added.-- from "Duck and Peaches at the Foot of Flower Mountain," by Hans Holm
"Every decent evil scientist needs to be able to play a cool musical instrument. Something ominous, like an organ or a sousaphone," Washuu explained. -- from "Washuu Science Theatre 3000," by DB Sommer
"Please to get off Shampoo. Shampoo going to have nervous breakdown. Shampoo has worked for it. Shampoo deserve it. Shampoo going to get busy on that right now." -- from "The Bet: Lovestruck" by Metroanime
Some people thought Nabiki liked Tatewaki Kuno. Some people, Nabiki conceded, had better imaginations than she did. -- from "When You Wish Upon A Sword," chapter 5, by Metroanime
Herb, young Prince of the Musk Dynasty, responded by having his men fill in the big gaping hole since it was entirely too big to become a cursed spring and somehow "Cursed Roughly Olympic Sized Really Damn Deep Swimming Pool" just didn't roll trippingly off the tongue. Even in Mandarin Chinese. -- from "The Bet, Fourth Option" by Gregg Sharp
One of the unwritten rules aboard the Myoo no Maru was "Don't Ask Nathan How He Knows Something". The consequences could be horrible. He could tell you.-- "The Bet, Featherbrite's Tale," by Gregg Sharp
"You have been designated the 4th child," Commander Ikari said in his usual 'oh so joyful' tone. One would not be surprised if he had once worked helpdesk. Actually, it would explain a number of things.-- "The Reluctant SI 1: Toji Has a Little 'Accident' . . . He He He (A NGE SI Parody)" By Ammadeau
"Hi, I'm Ammadeau. I'm from some place that's probably underwater now." "Is it because it was flooded by the Second Impact?" "No, I just left the water running when I left." "When did you leave?" "Oh, about sixteen years ago."-- "The Reluctant SI 1: Toji Has a Little 'Accident' . . . He He He (A NGE SI Parody)" By Ammadeau
Celeste all but wept. In five hours, Kitchiri had managed to not only foul up the filing system but hopelessly corrupt five Timelines (there was now an EVA line where the Evangelion pilots were Charlie Brown, Lucy Van Pelt, and a half-angel dog named Snoopy) AND spill Salusian Syrup on her copy of the duty roster.-- from "Reluctant Bet," chapter 22, by Gregg "Metroanime" Sharp
"ay, ay, ay, i'm your little butterfly.""Shut UP, Wondergirl!"
Nabiki's eyes grew wide as she looked at the amount in the passbook. "My god. There's over twenty million yen in here. Did I mention how much I love you?"-- "Not Ranma One-Half", Chapter 2, by By Andy Wennersten
EXTERIOR, NIGHT: Utena is on her way back to East Hall from the Secret Forest, looking tired and confused.UTENA: Man, what the hell was that all about? Oh well. Forget about it. Go to bed.ANTHY and SILENT BOB appear from behind the archway ahead of her. UTENA pauses, puzzled. SILENT BOB puts down a soapbox, which ANTHY then climbs up onto.ANTHY (clearing throat importantly): Attention, current winner of the dueling cycle. My name is Anthy Himemiya, and I am the Rose Bride. Until further notice, me and Silent Bob will be hanging with you. That is all.SILENT BOB: (nods)UTENA: ... ?!-- Gryphon, EPU Website, 9/24/01, as a result of putting his new Silent Bob action figure up on his mantle next to his Anthy figure
Princess Jupiter leaned over and whispered to the blonde, "Have you been living under a rock for the past year and a half, or what?" "Well, sort of. The roof back home's made of granite."-- from "Nuke'em Til They Glow", Chapter 10, Part 11
"Sir, request permission that squad be known as the Black Squad, sir!" "No! We already have 65 Black Squads, 13 Shadow Squads, 4 Gray Squads, and one Pink Squad. Frankly, we're a little worried about the Pink Squad."-- from "Grunts" by Mary Gentle
"The heart is under the left breast, right?" [Britannia] asked Venus. "Home is where the heart is," Venus replied, sagely. Britannia tried to figure that out while Artemis said, "Yes. How did you know he was the youma?" "Well, if he wasn't, he was still a sportscaster." "It was a mercy killing," Venus said. "Right..." I'm surrounded by lunatics, Artemis thought.-- from "Marmalade Moon" Chapter 9, by John Biles
"7.74?" inquired Zoner. "Not bad, nature boy, not bad." "Bite me, wirehead, I'm a nutritious part of this complete breakfast," Gryphon replied, rubbing his hair vigorously with a towel.-- from "Hopelessly Lost 1"
"Morons is for killing," suggested Shampoo, stalking forward with Ukyo. "Morons is for killing?" Ukyo said speculatively. "It has a ring to it," agreed Akane. "Morons is for killing," mused Nabiki, picturing t-shirts with the logo. Hmmm.-- "Take Two: Kittens Omake", by Gregg "Metroanime" Sharp
"You've got -zombies- downstairs and you think it's weird that my cat's been talking to me?" -- from "Sailor Moon: Mix and Match", Chapter 1, by Benjamin A. Oliver
"Don't worry, appropriate response is part of my operational protocol. If I detect an assassin with a knife I will disarm him and turn him over to the guard. If I detect a lesbian under the bed I will escort her to the door." -- Ifurita, in "Reunited," by Ken Wolfe
Three fiancees for the Martial artist under the sky, Seven for the Juraian lord in his halls of home,Nine for Keitaro doomed not to die, One for the Panda Lord on his dark throneIn the Land of Nerima where the shadows lie. One Fiancee to rule them all, One Fiancee to find them, One Fiancee to bring them all and in the darkness bind themIn the land of Nerima where the shadows lie.-- Brian Randall
"According to this, you'll be one of the most eligible bachelors in the Universe. With you being a prince and all..." "I'm the prince of like, five other people, and two of them are trying to kill me."-- from "Insertion," by Carrot Glace
"I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us." "Good thinkin', Rei. ... Wait a second, you didn't *have* a childhood."-- from "Angelbusters" by Ivan Reitman and Hideaki Anno (1985)(Actually Gryphon and Chad Collier, EPU Forums, 7/25/02)
"It does not matter," the dark princess answered in a tone that brooked no disagreement. Her dress was fashioned of shadows that left nothing to the imagination and her hair streamed back in a wind that touched only her. And her eyes were green fire, burning with rage and guilt. "Once I rejected her because of petty considerations such as gender. I am free of that now. Sister, daughter, lover, friend ... what she needs from me is what I will choose to become." In a flicker, she became once more the quiet girl from years past. "It does not matter," Anthy repeated the princess' statement, and there was a catch in her voice. "We will be together again." Juri felt her heartbeat slow once more, and knew of a certainty that its easing could not be natural. "You're not even remotely human, are you?" she asked. And their eyes met. "I am as human as you would be, Arisugawa Juri ... had you been a slave to your mistakes for ten thousand years," Anthy replied.-- from "Shoujo Kakumei Utena: Ten Years After", by Chris Davies
"The Wedge went to immediate WeDon'tEvenHaveAColorForThis Alert."-- Undocumented Features I
"Wait a second, Jason! Do you know how to fight?" asked Ben as the three-in-one combo rushed at the Daimon's back. "Uhhh, in theory. Besides, Usagi can do it! How hard can it be?" thought Jason in reply before he leapt up on Soiya's back and got it in a headlock. "Grrr. I'm the annoying Sailor Chibi-Moon, and in the name of Setsuna-sama, I'll snap yer neck!!!" "WAAAH! You ruined my intro! I was gonna make it SOO neat and dramatic, but YOU ruined it!" Chibiusa whined.-- from "Heart of Sugar", Chapter 1, by Benjamin A. Oliver
Ranma swallowed a small lump as he watched the Sokiaya closest to Akane back away, resisting an urge to do the same. He'd seen similar feats, performed by Zen masters and madmen. And Akane didn't look like she spent much time meditating. He couldn't figure out why Tendou-san thought his "baby" needed a man to look after her, except maybe to hose out Akane's cage and throw her a chunk of raw meat every now and then.-- "Lure The Tiger From The Mountains", Chapter 5, by Allyn Yonge
Sometimes change comes slowly. Sometimes all at once. Yet this change comes more often than not as the result of a grand design. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills, it is said, and woe be it to any mortal who attempts to stand in its way. What we see as something new is really something decided upon long ago. What we think is our own free will is really only the most recent event in the chain of causality and/or fate, the will of God, and occasionally yesterday's oatmeal. You've heard this before, right? Let me tell you a secret. Put your ear right up to your monitor as I whisper it to you: The wheel weaves as the wheel wills, it's true, but sometimes you just have to thumb your nose at the wheel, rip the web of the ages asunder, hack into the Yggdrasil system, change things however you damn well please and then laugh like a maniac as you shout out from the rooftops, "How's THAT for Calvanistic Determinism!" -- "Why Sailor Pluto Hates The Bet", Chapter 1, by P.H. Wise
High atop the Tokyo Tower, a wind began. The wind was not the beginning. The wind was also not the ending. This is because there are neither beginnings nor endings on the wheel of time. No, there are not beginnings or endings, but there ARE twinkies. I am, however, getting off the subject. -- "Why Sailor Pluto Hates The Bet", Chapter 3, by P.H. Wise
If a butterfly's wings can cause a hurricane, what the hell do you think a car with a Certified Mad Scientist{tm}, his daughter, and a Guardian of Time stuck on its roof could do? -- "Pissing Off Pluto," Chapter 2, by Elsa Bibat
"Okay," Ritsuko said, turning around. "MAGI! Coffee, black, twelve sugars!" There was a whir, the sound of gears grinding and engines thrumming, and soon a little trapdoor on the workstation opened and a paper cup filled with coffee ascended from the depths of the MAGI's operating system. "Neat," commented Shinji. "Technology of God in action," agreed Ritsuko, sipping her coffee. "Ah. I like my coffee like I like my men." "What... hot, strong and sweet?" Misato winked knowingly. Ritsuko frowned. "No. Ground into powder and liquefied." "Oh," Misato said carefully.-- "Evangelion Unplugged," Chapter 1, by Renegade
"I knew that," Soun said happily. "It was one of your favorite times of the year. You always enjoyed receiving presents." "And I still do," Kachiko added. "Which is to say, it would be really nice if people were to give me presents, since it's my birthday and everything." "What would you like?" Akane asked. Kachiko was practically glowing. "I don't know. Something expensive that I don't have a use for." "I'll sign you up for chemotherapy," Nabiki said.-- "The Things We Wish For," Chapter 9, by DB Sommer
"God, Asuka, I've missed you so," said DJ. "Promise me when this is all over you'll come away with me to Paris." "I can't -stand- you!" Asuka protested shrilly. "That's OK," DJ replied cheerfully. "I can't stand bloody Paris."-- Neon Exodus Evangelion 1:9, by Benjamin Hutchins.
"Wonderful job you've done, Shinji..." Gendou started, his hands dropping from their usual position to rest on the large desk in his office. "Telling the student body you're a pilot. What does it get you?" "A few one night stands and a bunch of female admirers?" the young man offered. "Well, yes..." Gendou acceded, "But it could also get you killed." "Assassination?" Shinji hazarded, only to have Gendou nod. "Damn, didn't think of that." He frowned. "'Bout the only thing I can't dodge is bullets. Guess I'll have to be more careful." "What's done is done. My recommendation is for you to refrain from telling anyone else." "But... that 'I'm a pilot and tonight may be our last night to live' line works so well! I mean..." He pulled an address book from his back pocket and flipped through a few pages, "I've already gotten seventeen phone numbers, six dates, three offers for sex, and one girl who wants to marry me. It's great! And you want me to stop?" He paused, shaking his head slightly while giving his father a dubious look. "Are you out of your mind?" Gendou blinked. "Well... Continue at your own discretion."-- "Honor's Duty", chapter 6, by JJ Corley
"Well, I don't care who we marry. I just want to use my grenade soon," said Dan.-- "Insertion," by Carrotglace
Utena swallowed hard, her bluster from before fleeing her exhausted frame. "Eh... it's about my boxers." She looked at the Rose Bride through the curtain of pink bangs hanging over her eyes. "They're... they're not bad-looking, are they? I mean, I know they're not 'normal' and all, but they're not dorky, right?" Anshi laughed, a light, crystalline sound that calmed Utena a bit. "Oh, Utena-sama... your Tigger boxers are just fine. They're... unique," she allowed, her emerald gaze focusing on one of the little Tiggers, "but they look very nice on you." The Rose Bride paused a moment, a sly grin forming on her features. "Of, course, they'd look even better on my floor."-- from "In His Defense," by KJ Dawson
"Hang on a second," Gourry said. Then he turned to address the ultimate creator of his world. "Excuse me, miss, umm..." 'Lord Of Nightmares.' "Right, Lord of Nightmares. You're, like, the person who created everything and stuff, right?" Gourry asked. 'I Am The Maker Of All. I Am The Seer Of All. Over Shaburanigdo
And Ceipheed I Rule. Over Mankind's Existence I Rule, Looking On
High, Silent As Time. Over All Things Seeking Destruction And
Preservation I Am Lord.' "Right. Maybe you can answer something for me... for the longest time, I was wondering--" 'No, There Wasn't A Monster In Your Closet When You Were
Eight. It Was Just Your Brother Trying To Scare You.' "Okay, thanks," Gourry said. "Let's go, Lina."-- from "Slayers Chaos," by Stefan Gagne
"I've gotten to like some US television shows over my time in the States. My favorite is an old series: the wife is a witch who has married a mortal man, and she has promised him that she'd live like a mortal woman. Except she can't. And her family keeps coming around. "I feel like Darren Stevens sometimes."-- Utena Tenjou, in "Archimage" by Jude McLaughlin
"Be more careful when throwing pianos out the window!" said an admonishing voice from the window above. "You could have killed somebody!" "It's okay, honey," responded another voice. "It just landed in the middle of that spreading pool of blood."-- from "Quack Experimental Fanfic Excel Fusion Z," chapter 1, by Nidoking
"What the hell did you do to your mother?!" snapped Trunks into the passenger cabin angrily. "I didn't call for seven hundred years," [Yosho] cried from his hiding place under the table. "Holy shit. She'll kill us all," said Trunks dumbly. "We gotta get out of here!"-- From "Insertion," Chapter 92, by Carrotglace
Yomiko ... smiled. "They did a very good job, those two." Drake said, "They've got a lot of potential." "I think they'll go far." "Possibly flung by an explosion." "Quite possible."-- from "Wheel of Anime", Book 2, Chapter 1, by John Biles
"Don't get carried away," Ritsuko muttered. "That's my boyfriend in there. And one of my girlfriends, too," Misato said. "I just don't want them to blow anything up." "What would you do if it were Maya?" "I'd rip it to shreds with my teeth! And I'd jump on the pieces! And then... then... then I'd subject them to full scientific analysis, of course."-- from "Fanservice II", by Andrew Aelfwine
"Let me show you what girl power can do! Especially with a sonic cannon!"-- Nabiki Tendo, "Rune With A View" by Metroanime
"Nice place," Metatron continued. "Do you like living in tomato soup or is the rent good?"-- from "Shinji Almighty", chapter 5, by Gregg Landsman
"Heh." Nabiki smugly inspected her nails. "You have to get up pretty early in the morning to get past Nabiki Tendou." "Nabiki, I'm your sister and I know what you're like in the morning," Kasumi remarked flatly. "I could sell you to a Thai brothel and you probably wouldn't notice until after lunch."-- "A Not So Simple Wish" (Chapter 1
, by Ebiris*No,* Sachiel replied. *Aww, come on,* I answered. *Absolutely not,* he insisted. *What's so bad about my idea?* *While I have no problem with withdrawing and allowing you to handle the situation, I have... issues with your plan to tell the Lillim that you are the "3.14th Angel, Auwhotda'ell".*
"If I had wanted a date, I would have said, 'Would you like to go on a date with me?' not 'Would you mind showing me around town?'" "You mean to tell me you make a distinction between the two?" "I'm an Ikari," he shrugged, "As half-truths and mind games are our specialty, distinctions are always important."-- Shinji Ikari and Maya Ibuki, in "Honor's Duty 7" by JJ Corley
Some things were just a given. The sky is blue. Water is wet. Genma can't be trusted farther than Kasumi could throw him. You never really stop to ask why.-- "White Rose," by Andrew Lemly
"I'm assuming you have a more detailed plan than 'be bitter as killer robots descend upon us'?" said Nadia pointedly. "I've got two actually," said Hikaru, "and seeing as the first one involves a bathtub full of champagne, a violinist, and a bottle of sherry, we're probably going to have to go with the second one." Nadia blinked. "Are you sure about that? Because I'm definitely intrigued." "Yes, I know, it would have been magical, but we're going with door number two," said Hikaru.-- "Defending", chapter 6, by David Dee
"I'm a martial artist. That's all I've done my whole life.Maybe I ain't so good at other stuff . . .but the Art . . .thereain't no one better than me. I know when someone's ready fora fight . . .how good they are . . .if they mean business. IKNOW! An that woman was tryin' to KILL Akane." "What do you mean . . .you know." Makoto put inskeptically. "How could you just look . . ." "The way I know about you." Ranma speared Makotowith a look. "I know that you try to actbig and tough. An' you're brave all right. Got a lotta heart.Ain't no one gonna stop you . . . But deepdown . . .you're scared. Scared you're gonna' be alone."Makoto paled at this summation, but Ranko had alreadystarted on her next target. "And you." She pointed to Ami, who shrank slightlyunder Ranko's consideration. "Cool, calm. Real smart." Ranko paused. "Real . . .realsmart. Got good instincts . . .but don'tbelieve in 'em. Don't believe in yourself. So you hidebehind your smarts. So no one will see . . .you."Ami paled and hid her head in her hands as Ranko swungon her next target, Minako. "And you . . ." Ranko paused, puzzled. "You're a deepone." Ranko's brow wrinkled. "You . . .you're dangerous.There's blood on your hands."Minako stiffened slightly, then relaxed. "There's blood." Ranko continued. "But it's clean. Justlike you." Ranko bowed slightly, oneequal to another. "We ought to spar sometime."Minako brightened and returned the bow. "An' You." Ranko stepped up to Rei, who stood herground and glared at Ranko, daring her to do her worst. "You . . .try to make people think you're tough. Andyou are. Ya got a lotta chi . . .a whole lot."Ranko cocked her head and raked Rei with a longsearching gaze. Rei resisted a compulsion to coverherself with her hands at the sudden sensation of beingnaked in public. "You're always . . .afraid . . .but not for yourself . . .never for yourself. You're afraid of failing . . .someone . . .else. Someone you love . . .more than your life . . .some . . .one . . ."Rei paled, swayed and would have fallen if not for smallhands which suddenly were there to catch her. "And as for you." Ranko turned her gaze to the smallblond figure supporting Hino Rei. "As for you . . ." Ranko'scocky attitude disappeared and her eyeswent wide with shock Straightening suddenlyshe executed a very low, profoundly respectful bow. "Forgive me for my impertinence master. I meant nodisrespect. But I believe that I have demonstrated why Ibelieved the . . .woman . . .I saw was a threat . . .a deadlythreat to Tendou Akane."The other senshi were amazed at the transformation . . .fromsarcastic, rough talking . . .to polite almost formal . . ."Akane was beyond amazement and well on her way toshocked. She grabbed Ranko by one sleeve andspun her around. "Just what are you doing." Akane hissed. "Mr. "I bowto nobody". I thought you didn't call anyone master." "I didn't." Ranko replied so simply that Akane couldthink of nothing to say.-- from "Furies" by Allyn Yonge
-- Bob
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It's spelt "Frodo Baggins" but it's pronounced "Throat-wobbler Mangrove."
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