The Crawl!

[Proginoskes]

It's extremely unlikely that Doug (or anyone else, for that matter) has heard "The Crawl" by Spirit of the West unless he's been to Greater Vancouver (preferably the North Shore) since 1988 or so, but it's such a fun song that I had to share. (I first heard it last night, covered by a much younger and less famous band whose name I can't even remember correctly. They rocked the house with this number, completely outshining the act that followed.)

CHORUS:

Well, we're good old boys, we come from the North Shore,

Drinkers and carousers the likes you've never seen;

And this night, by God! We drank till there was no more,

From the Troller to the Raven with all stops in between.

It all began one afternoon on the shores of Ambleside,

We were sittin' there quite peacefully with the rising of the tide;

When an idea it came to mind for to usher in the Fall,

So we all agreed next Friday night we'd go out on the crawl.

CHORUS

We planned to have a gay old time, the cash we did not spare,

We left all the cars at home and paid the taxi fare;

I got out to Horseshoe Bay a little after five,

From a table in the corner I heard familiar voices rise.

CHORUS

Spirits they ran high that night, old stories we did share,

Of the days when we were younger men and never had a care;

The beer flowed like a river and we drank the keg near dry,

So we drained down all our glasses and were thirsty by-and-by.

CHORUS

Park Royal Hotel, The Rusty Gull, Square-Rigger and Queen's Cross,

We'd started out with eight good boys but half had gotten lost;

For you'll never keep the lads together when their eyes begin to rove,

So there was just the three of us that made it to Deep Cove.

CHORUS

We arrived out at The Raven just in time for the last call,

The final destination of this the first annual crawl;

We dug deep into our pockets there was no money to be found,

Nine miles home and for walking we are bound.

CHORUS x2

Power: either an extremely limited transportation song (Doug starts in a bar on the North Shore west of The Raven and plays this song. At time t, which is the length of "The Crawl" (at least 2:30, usually more due to SotW's penchant for mid-song antics) divided by the number of bars to The Raven, Doug teleports one bar east. He continues teleporting at intervals of t until he reaches The Raven (or shuts off the song).) or "Area Effect: Falling Down Drunk".

[Bob Schroeck]

I like the idea of "Area Effect: Falling Down Drunk". I can see all kinds of amusing combat uses for that.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.