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Plot Bunnies That SHOULD NOT BE!
05-29-2010, 02:46 AM
In this thread instead of coming up with a terrible crossover idea come up with a terrible fanfic idea in general. Bonus points for using as many horrible fanfic cliches as possible. Some examples:
Naruto Peggy Sues himself back in time but discovers he has traveled into an alternate timeline where he is stuck in Fem!Naruto and is stuck in a Time Loop centered around the Chunin Exams. Includes at least one vicious rape of Sasuke scene per chapter.
Edward Elric seals his brother's soul not in a suit of armor, but in the body of Roy Mustang! Homoerotic overtones abound between the two (three?). Includes absolutely no action scenes.
How was it that Aang survived one hundred years without aging? He's a VAMPIRE!
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Epsilon
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Quote:How was it that Aang survived one hundred years without aging? He's a VAMPIRE!
So... he's got Cute Little Faangs, then?
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Bob Schroeck Wrote:Quote:How was it that Aang survived one hundred years without aging? He's a VAMPIRE!
So... he's got Cute Little Faangs, then? Does he... sparkle?
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Guilherme Loureiro Wrote:Does he... sparkle? Does it make the story worse? If so, yes.
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Epsilon
Does it make the story worse? If so, yes.
So, that would be a 'No.' then... the sparkling is apparently because they are covered in a diamond derivative and are all invincible as they are all hard and invincible... Aang fights people from Fire Nation making it a better fic... as in horrible, to us and the fangirls for completely different reasons, for us because of the premise... for them because of the whole flammable at high temperatures thing. Even if in theory they can't damage Sparkles Aang... his venom bodily fluids will boil, while he flails in a discoball like maner... he can't even use the Avatar state as he is already dead. Meaning its a one shot temporary boost, at best, and then gone forever. This will be played for Aangst.
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For a new horrible plot bunny... Naruto, as the result of screwing up an attempt at his unknown dad's army removing jutsu of crazy extreme speed, manages to switch place with one of his dimensional equivalents... which shows up in a two paragraph scene, complete with freaking out ero-senin.... and is totally forgotten three letters later. The world Naruto ends up in is a fangirl's dream storm of cliches. First, there are no ninja... instead its a modern world high school drama in which Naruto and his 'friends' abruptly decide they are forming a band. Worse for Naruto, he ends up dragged into it... he has to get them to win the 'Battle of the Bands' which is comprised of 31 other bands of actual compitant people... and the utterly useless "sympathetic" leads which are flanderized versions of the rookie 9 and Team Gai... random Jonin are the teachers and Orochimaru is the principle... the vice priciple is his fawning lacky, Dolores Umbridge.
To makes things worse it turns out to be a time loop... which can only be exited by winning the BotB with Naruto's preset cluster of useless 'friends'. The keyboardist, Sasuke, who spends more time primping and writing inexplicable 'poety', than practing, it often takes hours to get him to risk his nails by actually touching the keys (it takes 46 resets to figure out how to convince him to use his toes instead). Cherry, the drummer... who seems more intrested in setting Naruto up with the keyboardist than practing... though she does actually learns fast and is the most useful and competent of his band members... even though there creepily effeminate, bassist of the mussel shirted, paleness has nicknamed her 'useless'.
The 'band' is easily distracted and prone to wacky hijinks... assuming Naruto can corral them to not getting injured beyond their ability to play, distracted to the point of forgetting about the band thing entirely, Kidnapped by idiots from other schools, planets, or oddly displaced political radicals from decades dead movements... the real fun comes from getting the band into and through the contest. Naruto ends up using a a combination of shadow clones and a harvest of fangirls (oddly only the bassist and keyboardist actually have them, Naruto gets one who is a shy, rich girl, who probably wished him into this mess in the first place trying to make the guy she was stalking not worthless). He has to use that proformance to get enough real fans to fill the block of a hundred paying fans to gain entrance into the BoTB.
If each song being a luck based, escort mission for the tune wasn't bad enough there are the other bands to contend with.Some example include: Notable Doom, a three member band band with an idol singer lead... who's competition keeps suffering biazarree, spontanious deaths on stage (Naruto ends up immune as his last name is not actually Swirly as everyone keeps insisting). Team Panic, who is the other main reason, easily distracted bandmates aside, Naruto can't openly do ninja things... every time the lead singer see them reality ends up with him LARPing full contant Ninja Gaiden for the rest of the month. A band who started off doing silly songs in silly outfits with cool special effects that are inexplicablely missing after 6 or 7 loops... it gets so bad they only play a total a 15 notes from the begining and end of their songs while getting full cheers from the crowd... while in their school uniforms.
After 666, fully written out, repeats Naruto manages actually win the band with his 'friends'... the next day his 'band' totally forgets the band thing entirely... as well as all character devolopement and get just as hellbent on winning the Science Fair by building a fully functional, Giant robot even though they are in different science classes and have no skills in engeneering or metal working whatso ever... thats right. Naruto is stuck in a badly written sitcom... combined with a time loop.
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...my eyes are bleeding just from that summary. x.x;
--Sam
"If that's art, then art is dirty and weird!"
The Wanderer
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(On second thought, I don't think I want to say that after all.)
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*Hands over trophy for 'Most Mind-Searing Naruto-Bunny' to Necratoid*
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http://xkcd.com/748/]A Plotbunny That Should Not Be, Ripped From The Headlines By xkcd!
(Considering who the plotbunny is ascribed to, it's definitely one that Should Not Be...)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Angryoptimist
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You know, Necratoid's is bad, but I'd at least skim through it if it were real. It's such an amazing kind of bad, it might even become good. I'd have to read it, if only a just a bit.
Now me, as I'm thinking about this, I'm only coming up with things that possibly don't even qualify as stories, like "Naruto Reads The Phone Book", "Naruto Does Your Taxes", and "Naruto Has Completely Uninteresting Conversations on IRC" (replace 'Naruto' with character of choice from universe of choice).
Actually, "Naruto Reads The Phone Book" could be pretty funny; a collection of instances, set in canon or near-canon (i.e. canon + phones), where Naruto follows someone around and just... reads the phone book to them. At them. For great trolling. About-what-you'd-expect ensues.
Two great tastes that go great together!
"Naruto Does Your Taxes"... has basically been done... and it was good... okay technically he did pretty much the entire ninja population of Kohonah's taxes. It's called A Twist of Fate and its good.... and hasn't updated in a somewhat distressingly long time.
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Wow... I got some horrified reactions to that last idea... considering the average I've heard of 1 review to 9-20 readers I'm knd of hoping I didn't actually drive anyone insane... in part because I actually left off a few, major, bad Naruto fic chiches.
For instance, that contained no vampires. I was tempted to add in the bits where the Uchiha are inexplicable vampire nobles and Itachi is an vampire lord and Sasuke spends long dramatic scheme's emo whining and cutting himself while writing Terribad level awful, emo, angst heavy "poety". That was the real reason for the the fixation on his nails... he used them to cut himself. Frequently... and Itachi just right being there to lick his self inflicted wounds in a disturbingly (Cherry is ifffy on that discripter) homoerotic way... Also he waffles for hours aboutb cutting while bemoaning the inexplicablely intact mascardes... extremely badly hidden... yet people keep dieing to keep the keep it intact... the entire vampire nation feeds off people too stupid to ignore the emo idiots. Sasuke also bemoans his 'Eternal Life of Pain' even though he is the same age as the rest of the band and wants for nothing but a clue... several dozen resets occur, because the fourth unnamed band member calls him on how stupid this is... like a Disney lemming he is. Animated corpses can't play bass... At All.
I also left out the subplot where horriblely off new wave techno version of Not-'Kaiser' of Not-'Detroit Metal City' ends up being the Itachi's 'gift' to the band as a one day mentor. More homoerotisim... Even Cherry, though not Itachi, being squicked out when its towards their undead 'bassist'. Touchy feely seasons with the unpreserved unnamed one.
I left out any quote Original Characters unquote, based off the "Authors" "awesome" friends... who act exactly like every other group of these tweenibopper twits ever. Much to Naruto's distress... he can't kill them, maim them, feed them to Sasuke, or alienate them or they can't get enough paying fangirls to enter the BotBs. Each are given their own name and generic unique looks Each. get screen time and insists on being 'friends' with the band
Also, I actually left Naruto with his mind and powers. See to make a truly horrifying, Plot Bunny in need of Violent Euthanasia you have to start off with a premise that makes some sense. If it doesn't work as a fic it can be easily disregarded. However, if the reader can at least kind of see this plot working Then make it just intresting enough for them to keep reading your description. Morbid curiosity eventually kicks in.... then the reader hits a threshold point and figures this hasn't been that bad... might as well finish this.
To use my previous post as an example... I started the end with a steriotypical reference 666 comment while referencing an extended 'endless eight' reference mixed in. This sets their minds moving... they start imagining that happening... maybe that with so many, many chapters (which means that the huge review total will get more people to read this mess) they start imagining what the now familar Peggy Sue loops for all these fics would be like without all those filtering time skips of 'getting to the good and/or important parts'. Then they hit that box they aren't suppose to open... a spoiler discoloring block. Forbidden knowledge is forbiden, but this internet, so lets see what is behind that door.
In short, I just got a swarm of people to start writing that fic out in their minds.
These are summeries after all, not full fics.
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Card Capper Sakura
Basically the exact same story Sakura acts more like Revy and has a magic gun...
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Epsilon
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It's been a week and Ian still hasn't posted it, so...
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, directed by Paul Verhoven
"I say, Giles, why is the Slayer stark naked?"
"I told her it was necessary for her to use her powers."
"But..."
"Hush."
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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