[DSKSWDYHMS] Continuity Whoopsie

[Black Aeronaut]

Well, I found a big one earlier last night while reviewing things.  Check it out:

“Oh, speaking of things in the air,” said Usagi suddenly.

“Raven’s breath, here we go...”

“What is up between you and Rei?”

“Heeh?” said Naru cutely.  “Did something happen last night?”

Kaname scoffed.  “I should say so!  This friend of Usagi’s?  Hino Rei?  Miko at the Hikawa Shrine?  Gorgeous girl that goes to that super-upscale girls academy downtown?  You’d think she’d be some proper and reserved little hime-chan.  And she probably is most of the time.  But apparently Zee-kun’s mere existence is enough to make little miss perfection go completely thermonuclear.”

I had to stifle a snort at that - if only Kaname knew who Rei really was, then she’d know that ‘thermonuclear’ would be putting it a bit mildly.
“Heee-eeeehhh?” said Naru.  “But I've seen her before!  She’s always so cool and collected, even when other boys try to ask her out or hit on her.  Did she really get angry?”
Kaname laughed.  “She tried attacking him!  And then Zee-kun laid her out like this happens to him every day!  I swear if it hadn't been so scary at the time I would have laughed when it happened.”

Thing is, Kaname had left the shrine before Rei went all Aries-style explodey on Zeke.

Now, I have some idea of how to fix this - I still want Kaname to be the one to drop the bomb, especially since Rei seems to be the sort of girl that rubs her the wrong way (Kaname is, after all, the Alpha-Bitch of her own turf).  I just want to hear what you guys have in mind, first.

[robkelk]

Hmmmmm... If Rei went supercritical not-too-long after Kaname left, Rei might have been loud enough to pique Kaname's curiosity, bringing her back.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[ECSNorway]

Yeah, if Rei was really ranting, Kaname could probably have heard it from outside. Walls are thin.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[Black Aeronaut]

Okay, got the fixed up bit right here.  Whatcha guys think?

Slowly I backed out of the room, not turning my back until I was all the way out and had slid the shoji closed.  Rei only glowered at me, all but curling her lips.  I sighed once I was sure she was not going to follow me out, then made my way to my own room.

I never made it there, though.  To my surprsie, kaname Chidori was there, and along with her was Hino-sensei, complete with an expectant look on his weathered face.

“Kaname!” I said in surprise and horror.  “Don’t tell me you saw all that!?”

“I only overheard,” she said angrily.  “And what I heard was enough!  If she ever so much as touches you again like that, I’m going to-”

Kaname froze as Hino-sensei place a hand on her forearm, stopping her short.

“So, my granddaughter has raised her hand against you,” said the small, old man with a sigh.  “It seems I will have to discipline her.”

“If you can let it go, sensei, I rather that you would.”

“LET IT GO!?” cried out Kaname.  “ARE YOU NUTS!?”

Hino-sensei ignored her outburst, though.

“Oh?  Afraid of a reprisal, are you?” asked the old priest.

“Yes and no,” I sighed.  “I can handle her, I’m certain of that.  I just don’t want her to have any more reason to resent me.”

The old man chuckled.  “First of all, I don’t think you can handle her quite so easily.  She simply underestimated you, a mistake she will not make again.”  He gaze suddenly hardened into deadly seriousness.  “Although, if what I have been told of your exploits is true, then it would be very much preferred that we immediately deescalate this situation.”

“What do we do then, sensei?” I asked.

“You will do nothing about it... for now.  You will have a part to play shortly, but first I must reprimand my granddaughter.”

I felt the hair on the back of my neck rising.

“I’m not gonna like this, am I?”

The old man only laughed softly as he walked by, leaving me with Kaname for the moment.

“Neh, Zee-kun,” said Kaname once the old man was out of earshot.  “I know how tough things can be and all, but if you need a place to crash...”

I gave Kaname a surprised look once more.  “But I thought you lived in a eight-tatami flat.”

“With a full bathroom and kitchen, you dork,” said Kaname with exasperation.  “Look, I’m not a total prude.  The idea of a boy seeing me in my pajamas doesn’t worry me much.”

“Oh?  And you’re not worried about my becoming overcome with lust?” I said sarcastically.

“Nah, if that happens I’ll just knock your face off with my bat.”

I snickered at the mental imagery of her doing just that to someone else.  More likely than not, that Sousuke character.

“Well, thanks for the offer anyhow.  I’ll definitely keep it in mind as a last resort.”

“No problem, Zee-kun.  It’s the least I can do for a friend.”

“Friends already?” I asked with a game smile.

“After the way you guys made me laugh today?  You’re stuck with me for life!”

I snorted at that, because as far as I was concerned she made me laugh just as much.

“Why’d you come back anyhow?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Oh, I forgot one of my notebooks.  I got here just in time to hear Miss Princess blow her stack.  That’s when I ran to get Hino-san.”

I sighed and would have said more, but Hino-sensei was already escorting everyone out.

There, not only does that fix things, but Kaname gets a bit more development as well.  

[robkelk]

Looks good to me.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012