Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!

[robkelk]

"Polyamory is wrong!"

"Grumpy girl correct." Shampoo stepped in. She closed her eyes and raised a finger. "Should never combine Greek and Latin roots to make word."

What Do You Want, Chapter 10

[classicdrogn]

"Well this is a giant fucktangle, and we're all outta lube."

[ksai]

There's this 'Semi-crack SI into Star Wars fic - Governor's Gambit' being posted on SV (and probably SB/QQ).

The Transmigrator landed 4 or so years before the destruction of DS1, with the SI being dumped into a a disgraced Imperial Governor (Las Veers) on a backwater outer rim planet. Since being replaced, the SI has been reaching Ciaphas Cain levels of 'I'm being competent! in order to not get dead!' levels of 'fake it until you make it' success.

Anyway, one of his adventures lead him to uncovering a stais locked/sort of actual Sith from the period of the Eternal Empire. For various reason I won't go into here, the Sith isn't an actual threat to him - and the SI keeps an eye on her by having her act as a bodyguard. Said Sith is terminally pissed at the general lack of mayhem in general and in the latest post (a month or so after DS1 gooes kaboom) the Governor, fed up with the bodyguard's passive aggressive behaviour, orders her to go out and get a gaming rig so that the Sith can get involved in online mayhem instead.

Which leads to this quote from the Sith as they play 'For Glory' (which basically sounds like COD) in the Governor's office (https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/th...t-35090288):

A few hours later, and, while they'd never admit it, they were having fun.

"Pitiful creature, your skills are so lackluster your family should disown you!" They yelled into the mic.

As the child on the other end cried, they spotted Las in the corner of their eye, rubbing his forehead in annoyance.

Good.

Perhaps these 'games' were worth something after all.

[ECSNorway]

From "The Sleepover to Restore the Republic", in which Luke Skywalker sets out to steal Anakin Skywalker from Sheev Palpatine. And succeeds.

“Anyway, I kept thinking it over, and since we both want the Emperor gone, we’re basically on the same side, right?” Luke points to himself. “Rebel scum.” He points to Vader. “Also, rebel scum, except you come in black.”

https://archive.transformativeworks.org/.../114784762

[classicdrogn]

On QQ,

TriforcedLink said:
much to the spirits frustrations, weaponized autism beat eldritch horror every time

Czlyydwr Llrngwl said:
When normal humans are as incomprehensible as eldritch horrors anyway, what's dealing with a few extra horns or tentacles or whatever?

kairuf said:
I've heard that some of the appeal of furries is how much more obvious the animal body language is

2 Hot Crown Subdues the Sinful said:
What happens when you have the best eyesight & most facial muscles amongst mammals.

Warning: is on QQ, and therefore very NSFW!

edit:
Lin k in a spoiler so it won't load to be picked up by nannyware filters unless clicked:

Except that doesn't appear to work here like it does on other board software. Well, I tried. It's on page 633 of the Questionable Questing "Questionable Quote Pit" thread if you want to look it up.

[robkelk]

Warning: is on QQ, and therefore very NSFW!

edit:
Lin k in a spoiler so it won't load to be picked up by nannyware filters unless clicked:

Except that doesn't appear to work here like it does on other board software. Well, I tried. It's on page 633 of the Questionable Questing "Questionable Quote Pit" thread if you want to look it up.

For folks like me who had to look it up:

1. It's a secure site, so the five-letter prefix that ends with "s" applies (not like here that uses the four-letter prefix)
   
2. It's a forum, not a world-wide-web
   
3. Questionable Questing is all lowercase and has no space
   
4. It's one of those "commercial" sites, not like here that's a "network" site
   

Please don't make me look it up again. Its posted rules are incompatible with the laws of my country of residence.

[Aleh]

So, not a fanfic, but the novel Bunny Girl Evolution (Volume 1) has the following exchange as part of a sequence lampooning a large number of fantasy tropes (and the elves vs dwarves thing in particular):

"Your Majesty, I’ve changed my mind," said Elise. "I believe it’s best we save this conversation for another time."

"More bad news then?"

"Not news, persay. Just some thoughts I had."

The king glowered at her. "And you think these thoughts would worsen my mood."

"Not necessarily, but-"

"But what? Out with it already!"

"I think it’s something best discussed when we’re all a bit more rational."

"You think I’m irrational right now?"

Contrary to how he had been speaking before, shouting and spewing curses, his voice turned quiet, and his expression was blank. The tension in the room reached its peak as he stared at her and Elise worked up the nerve to say what she knew she had to.

"Yes, Your Majesty," she said finally. "I think you are irrational right now."

He stared at her for a few moments more, then jumped to his feet.

"Dammit, you’re right. I need to go hit something. Nobody leave!"

[Bob Schroeck]

<snrk>

"Not news, persay.

You said novel. Web novel, or an actual published book? Because if the latter, someone needs to fire their editor, stat. The phrase is "per se". It's Latin.

[Aleh]

<snrk>

"Not news, persay.

You said novel.  Web novel, or an actual published book?  Because if the latter, someone needs to fire their editor, stat.  The phrase is "per se".  It's Latin.

I'm aware, yes. It's a direct quote, though... and it's a Royal Road webnovel that got an Amazon ebook release.

That specific quoting comes from an ebook copy of the first book, downloaded well before the first novel got stubbed. The published version (which I have, mostly 'cause that quote got me to shell out the cash) has the entire sequence of events go a bit differently and avoids the circumstances that lead up to the exchange.

I regret that.

Still, the author is very much fond of parodying fantasy and isekai tropes in quotable ways. Bunny Girl Evolution has a bunch of other examples that I may or may not quote here sooner or later (like the time the gods replaced her system's help menu with a bad implementation/parody of ChatGPT).

His latest ongoing novel, Cat Girl Evolution (produced/released as a part of a rather hilarious event on Royal Road where a bunch of authors simultaneously released stories which were variants on a single, simple theme... and all of the ones I've read have massively taken the mickey on the concept, each in their own way.

Seriously, all of them are titled (or subtitled) "X Girl Evolution." There's Cat Girl Evolution, Phoenix Girl Evolution, Fish Girl Evolution, Horse Girl Evolution, Cow Girl Evolution, Phoenix Girl Evolution, Puppy Girl Evolution, Zombie Girl Evolution, Succulent Girl Evolution... you get the idea.

Each of them has a summary that starts the same way, too:

"She’s a X. She’s a Girl. And she’s going to evolve."

In the case of Cat Girl Evolution, the story takes the mickey on the concept in a rather simple way: She's a cat... mentally.

Sure, she used to be a human in a previous life. So what? She doesn't care. She's a cat now.

That leads to exchanges like this (from Chapter One):

[ Starter Quest: Solve the mystery of the fishing village ]
 
How do I do that?
 

[ That’s part of the mystery ]

 
Too much work. I’m going to look for snacks.

And when her village is wiped out by Lovecraftian monsters (because she was ignoring the starter quest), she makes one, critical discovery that will change her life forever: Fishmen are delicious.

Probably should cross-post this into a recs thread or something, or maybe post it there instead, but the reply was a good bit of it, and the quote was too funny not to share.